#being a polymorph is so confusing sometimes UGH

[cotton-stuffed-clown]

yearly crisis averted because I'm now getting dysphoria over jackalopes

it's that yearly crisis where i question if i'm some kind of sea creature

[trickstersantana]

A Battle for The Truth

Who: Santana, @ellnaturae @joephilim and Jesús! Location: Undique Stadium Time: 2 March 2019 Summary: Santana wants to annoy people and mock angels so she brings Joe to fight but encounters other people she knows there so obs they all gotta fight each other.  Triggers/Notes: Violence, shooting, guns. Also I didn’t copied the map thingie while it was happening sorry guys I won’t make the same mistake twice.. . . 

Santana was walking around campus, really really pissed off. Not wanting to admit the awful truth that was crawling to her. Ryder is coming back. We are going to do the ritual. Then it's all over. She didn't want to think of the alternative. The monster investigation was fun. But she needed any other thing before falling into a complete despair. Then she saw it. A sign from God. The angel. "Baby!" She calls Joe when she saw him. "Come with me! I have good deeds waiting for you... unless you are..." She put that mocking voice you make for babies or tiny pups. "Scared?"

Joe is not lost. Angels don't get lost. Everything else is simply out of place. This is familiar, but at the same time, it isn't, like maybe the color was different, or--He turns towards a familiar voice, and is not relieved when it's Santana Lopez, the one who escaped death because of his letter. "I'm not scared of any good deeds. That's--what's waiting for me?" he asks, looking around for a lost soul needing shoes, or maybe a bruise that needs healing.

Elliott enjoys going to the gym to keep his body active though sometimes he feels really bad about those guys who actually are there to gain muscles and see him literally lifting several weights at the same time, just a moment ago one dude almost walks into a wall because he was looking at him in disbelief. It is also a nice place to flirt with cute guys, he is not gonna lie, maybe the lifting surprise some of them who would look at him in surprise, but he also attracts other looks for different reasons. He leaves the lifts behind and goes to one of the running machines, unaware of any other conversation anyone he knows is having right now with other people in other place.

Santana kicks out the gym door dramatically like the place is hers. "Run, joey, run!" She demands like it's super urgent and live or dead, until she pass some guys lifting weights. She notices Elliott there, so she sends him a whisper illusion. "Want to see how the Gayest Queen kicks some angel's ass?" She goes to the first empty training room she encounters. One of those with water on a side for water witches. Maybe she could throw the angel on the little pool. That would be fun.

Joe runs like it's super urgent, past the weightlifting guys, and past Santana Lopez, until he almost runs into a wall. Catching his breath, he discreetly looks around to find the good deed he was promised. Until he catches sight of Santana, and casually strolls over. "Sorry, what am I looking for?"

Elliott let's out a small high pitched scream when he suddenly hears a disembodied voice near his ear, "fuck me" he says realizing is Santana, a guy passes by and winks at him "but also fuck me..." he chuckles but then decides to follow the voice and meet with his friend "So are you guys fighting?" he says when he finds the pair standing next to each other.

Santana grins. And points at herself. "My my, little cherubin... I just wanted to know. If you are really the messenger of God... he wouldn't had make you weak, wouldn't he?" She says, making appear her Soul Armament, the gunshield. "I want to check if you are strong enought to survive." She says, aidming at him. "Get ready, you li-" She gets interrupted. A fish jumps in the pool. A swordfish. "Oh no. No. Not you."

The swordfish jumps outside the water, to the gym floor. It jumps more on the floor, fish out of water not breathing well style. Until the fish polymorphs, becoming a standing human man. With wet clothes. He looks very happy to see people. "Mist!" Jesús says, opening his arms, like he was waiting for anyone to hug him. "And friends! What a joyous coincidence to find you here! Hello pals! Folks call me Jesús. Nice to met you!" He says, looking at Joe. "And nice to see you again, buddy!" He says, looking at Elliott. "Are we reunited here to duel... with our wits? I'll love to join let's go!" He barely breathes or pauses between sentences.

Joe narrows his eyes, swallowing back a retort about how he's not weak. "Yeah, you're right. He wouldn't ha--whoa." A huge fish jumps out of the water, and it feels like a sign--probably a sign that he's right. When the fish turns into a human and opens his arms, Joe cracks a smile and approaches him with a hug. "Jesús!" Joe says. "Like the prophet." This is definitely a sign, he thinks, as he shakes off some excess water. "A battle? For the truth?"

Elliott observes the scene in confusion, maybe he should have followed that guy who wanted to fuck "Erm... that's a dramatic entrance" he chuckles "nice to see you again" he says to Jesús, he then looks at Santana "So? Four way training?" he asks her.

Joe notices the demon and inwardly cringes, because I did not forget to react to that crucial bit of information.

Santana wanted to cancel the fight. But then maybe Jesús would just annoy her to dead. "You...you couldn't possibly know I was going to come here! Not even I knew!" And there he was. Hugging the angel. This was going all kinds of wrong. She just wanted to humilliate someone, why everything had to ruin her plans? "There is no fo-" 

Jesús interrupts her. "FOUR WAY TRAINING! We are going to have SO much fun together and you're going to be so happy queniquerrashacerningúnritualdespuésdeesto." No pause. All excited. His sentences just gets faster and faster. "A BATTLE FOR THE TRUTH!" He announces, on a dramatic, deep voice. "What gets broken when its not being held?" He asks, and big smiley flowers appear from the floor. They look like they had been designed by a 3 year old girl and then that 3 year old girl payed 5 dollars to a 2 year old girl to make the 3d versions of them.

1d6 Jesús attacks Santana = (2) = 2

1d6 Jesús attacks Ell = (1) = 1

1d6 Jesús attacks Jow = (5) = 5

@Joe Hart 22/22 👼🏼 Yeshaya L2:  1d6 Joe counter = (5) = 5

Joe jumps a little, but tries to play it cool by rolling his shoulders. There's a riddle, and flowers that smile at him, and he's so confused. "Our trust in the Lord?" Joe answers the riddle.

@Santana 61/62🐮LvL 5(2/3)🔫🛡:  1d7 Santana counter = (1) = 1

Elliott looks at the flowers thinking they are sort of cute, he has no idea what the riddle means "Broken when its not held? What the fuck?" he asks loudly inadvertedly answering his own question.

Santana slips with the watery floor and the flower jump scare, and hits her Perfect and Flawless butt into the floor. "Ugh! Your illusions suck ass! See how it's really done!" She says, making a real scary fucked up realistic giant plant, full of thorns going to attack Jesús.

@Santana 61/62🐮LvL 5(2/3)🔫🛡:  2d7kl1 REAL santana attacks jisus = (7+6) = 6

1d6 Jesús defend himself from Santana attack = (1) = 1

Joe takes a step back, inadvertently towards the demon, when suddenly there's an angry thorny plant attacking the nice guy with the prophet name. "Is this really a battle for the truth??" An edge slips into his voice, and there is one thing he can think will provide comfort; a tiny orchid mantis. "Hi," he greets him.

Elliott can barely react when he sees Santana attacking Jesús, he shrugs and summons Ziggy, it was always better to work with her and there was something they have been meaning to try together for a while,, he is about to move and join the training when Joe steps back and he bumps into him.

@Karin😈Ell 56/59:  2d6kl1= (3+6) = 3

Elliott trips and Ziggy goes flying at the other side of the room, barely hitting Jesús.

Jesús trying to grab and hug Ziggy = (6) = 6

Jesús hears Joe's answer. "No, pal! Wrong answer! But it was a good try! I'm sure you can figure it out!" He conforts him. "Is not the frick either!!" He shouts to Elliott. "You can do it! I can give hints too!" Jesús gets distracted by Santana's attack. "That's a really good illusion, Mist! I'm proud of you!" He says, and hugs the cutest snake flying to him. "Oh my, you are the cutest thing." He whispers, wide eyed, to the snake, and gently puts her in the ground. "You're beautiful. But I don't know if you can swim." He says, and lets himself fall into the water, turning again into a swordfish. He moves faster swimming.

The three flowers merge into a giant one. "Y҉O҉U҉ H҉A҉V҉E҉ T҉O҉ S҉O҉L҉V҉E҉ T҉H҉E҉ R҉I҉D҉D҉L҉E҉" An unreal, mechanical voice sounds. It tries to  pats Santana's head.

1d10 Flower attack to Santana = (3) = 3

@Santana 61/62🐮LvL 5(2/3)🔫🛡:  1d7 Santana's counter = (5) = 5

Ziggy is very cute indeed, she hisses to Jesús "thanksss".

Fiyero shouts "ZIGGY IS SUPER CUTE!" from the distance. Nobody saw him.

Ari agrees quietly before slipping off into his spy cat life.

Joe is really confused about everything that's happening. There are flowers, and snakes, and fish, and all he can think to do is send Yesh to attack the flowers patting Santana Lopez on the head.

@Joe Hart 22/22 👼🏼 Yeshaya L2:  2d6kl1 +1 = (4+6)+1 = 5

1d10 Flower counter to yesh = (2) = 2

Elliott teleports next to Ziggy, maybe they could join forces against the flower.

Santana shouts "I'm not going to play your ridiculous riddle games!! And the answer is obvious and super easy!" She says, shooting illusion bullets to the water where Jesús is. "Daisy help me out!"

@Santana 57/62🐮LvL 5(2/3)🔫🛡:  2d7kl1 +1= (2+1)+1 = 2

2d6k1 Jesús counter because he gets advantage in the water fish perks = (1+6) = 6

Jesús as a fish, jumps and throws really fake illusory bubbles to Santana. They have hands and smily faces and they try to hug her. He makes an illusion of his own voice, because he can't talk in fish. "C'mon pals! The answer is a noun. It starts with a P!" He goes back to the water and moves away from Elliott, really fast.

The flower tries to give a clue to encourage riddle solving. I҉ W҉I҉L҉L҉ E҉X҉P҉L҉O҉T҉E҉ S҉O҉O҉N҉ I҉F҉ Y҉O҉U҉ D҉O҉N҉'T҉ S҉O҉L҉V҉E҉ M҉E҉ The illusory sound is so loud and distorsed it can hurt ears.

1d10 Plant attack to Elliott = (2) = 2

@Karin😈Ell 56/59:  1d6 + 1d5 + 2d6k1= (6)+(3)+(5+1) = 14

Elliott takes Ziggy in his hands, he takes a deep breathe, he is a little nervous to practice this tecnique, the soul armament, but he is also excited, the snake starts disolving in dark smoke and she slowly becomes a long chain, the links look rusty, with intense orange and yellow tones coloring the metal. Elliott grabs the chain strongly, and he runs toward the flower, he takes a little jump for impulse and throws one of the ends of the chain towards it, as it hits the flower, Elliott teleports and with the other end that is still on his hand appears on the other side of the flower, surrounding it with the chain, but he miss calculates and falls to the water.

Joe watches, wide-eyed, as the demon disappears from next to him and appears in a different spot. How can he do that? How? He bites the inside of his cheek and starts trying to think about the riddle. Something with a P that breaks when it's not held... "Pan?" he asks, knowing that Jesús speaks Spanish with that weird run-on sentence about rituals. Bread can be very crumbly, right? Santana Lopez seems to not be at full health. He doesn't entirely trust her, or at all, really, but at least she's not in the water and attacking him? "May the Lord Bless you," he says, reaching out with his hand to put it on her shoulder.

The flower illusions dissapears, losing all its strength with the last chain attack.

Jesús as a fish, gets surprised  to find a friend in the water, so he turns into his human form, just his head above the water. "Woah you're so fast, buddy! Wanna enjoy a swim?" He shouts very loudly outside "It's not a pan! The answer was A PROMISE!" He said, looking at Santana, like it should mean something. "But let's go for another riddle! If I have it, I shouldn't share it, because if I share it, I won't have it. What is it?" He says, and another illusion appears. Is a tiny cartoony hunter man. Very fake and very unreal. He appears in the same place as the flower was.

Tiny Hunter Man moves on his own spot. "Fast fast! Said the answers before this bomb explotes!! You have one!" Says the little man, showing a sandwich with a countdown.

Santana is super angry. "Shut up with your riddles you fishface! And stop turning into that gross thing!! This is not the fish market!" She shouts, feeling like... in better heal for some reason. She laughs, noticing. "My my! The Lord Bless me? Of course!" She aims at Jesús with her gun, hoping not to fail. 

@Santana 57/62🐮LvL 5(2/3)🔫🛡:  1d100=100  = (15, 0 successes) = 0   @Joe Hart 22/22 👼🏼 Yeshaya L2:  1d6  = (5) = 5 (Santana’s blessing healing)

Joe panics when Jesús sends over another illusion, and tries to swat away the sandwich-bomb, with Yesh pecking at it like the nice snack a sandwich is, regretting blessing Santana Lopez when she pulls out a gun. “ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DO THAT??” He asks her, still shell-shocked from the disappearing demon. “An object!” Joe shouts confidently as the answer to the riddle. @Joe Hart 22/22 👼🏼 Yeshaya L2:  1d6 + 1d6 level 2 familiar attack = (3)+(5) = 8

 1d15 Tiny mans counter attack to Jow = (9) = 9

Tiny Hunter Man jumps and screams at Joe, while showing signs of a flashing and annoying bad illusion. "NOT AN OBJECT! THINK DEEPER OR BOOM!"

Elliott thinks harder "aaaah..." he starts thinking "Is it a promise again?" he is still in the water, he moves his arms a little to keep a float, and then tries to hit the new illusion with his chain again.  

@Karin😈Ell 56/59:  1d6 + 1d5  = (3)+(1) = 4

1d15 Tiny hunter man counter to Elliott = (9) = 9 

Elliott splashes the water annoyed.   

Jesús gets out of the pool, still all clothes wet. "Aw, aren't we having fun! I'm having so much fun! Being with friends, solving riddles, not having to change anything about ourselves, not hurting anyone on the process wOAH! Isn't it so great? Who would want to lose all that am I right? But let's go for the next riddle! You can swallow me, but I can consume you too. What a-"

Santana interrupts him. "Pride." She is too annoyed already. "Ha, promises, secrets and pride." She says, coldly. "I'm not having fun. In fact, I think you are really boring." She tells her fake uncle. "Now, Elliott, my my, you got some new moves! Those are really cool, I hope to train more agaisnt them someday" She says, starting to ignore Jesús and focusing on the rest. "And you cherubin, what a cutie, healing and being scared of a little gun shield. Aw, adorable. Santana will kick your ass other day." She says, blowing a kiss to them and getting out of the room before exploting on everything going on, but still putting a bitchy smile on her face. "Bye bye!"

Joe is actually sort of flattered when he’s called cute. Even though he is not a cherub. “Um, goodbye?” He looks at Jesús, and then at the demon. “This school is...” confusing, “interesting.” Yesh flies back into his pocket, and Joe gives him a soft brush. “I’ll, um, be here if you need me. May the Lord forgive us.”

Elliott, still in the water, looks at Santana as she goes "Would be a pleasure" he smirks in response. Then gets out of the pool as Ziggy goes back to her snake form. All his clothes are wet. He waves at Jesús "Was nice too see you, I'm sorry I'm bad at riddles" he chuckles, he then looks at Joe and goes pass him without directing any words to the angel.