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meetingheaven-blog · 7 years ago

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First Blog: Meeting Heaven & My Story :) BELOVED.

Hi I am Jessica (Jess). So… I have been wanting to start a blog for quite some time now. I am a 21 year old college student who goes to Grand Canyon University. I am from California. I am currently a senior and graduate here in about two short months with my BSN in December 2017. You might think I am a little crazy to be starting a blog and doing nursing school at the same time lol ;) but I feel a very strong calling to write and get my story out there. I have been journaling from the start of my college journey and I really enjoy doing it. I mostly journal about my prayers and the path God has been leading me on. I am no English major and my grammar at times might not be perfect but just hang in there with me. I think I have a lot of ideas, stories, and advice God has put on my heart that I want to really share with others. My blog is going to be mostly revolved around Jesus, my journey as an (almost nurse), and full of advice for young girls or anyone really who needs it. You might also be wondering why I named it Meeting Heaven. Little bit about me.... When I was going through a hard time sophomore year of college (I lost three family members all within about three months) I was very depressed and not myself at all. If anyone knew me before then, they would know I was the girl who always had a smile on her face. Loss changed me. I almost never left my room...I shut out a lot of people that year. I turned to God and at many times I was so alone that my Bible, journal, my online church services, and my phone calls from my family was all I had.

I ran into a message that really spoke to me one night and helped bring me out of my depression. Let me re-phrase that. GOD truly brought me out of my depression. I wish I could remember the pastor’s name or even the title of the sermon. It was from Yorba Linda Friends Church. One quote really stuck out to me though. He said, “When people meet you, make them feel like they are meeting heaven for the first time.” He also said, “God sees us for who we are turning into.” At that time in my life, I was unsure about everything. It was before I even got accepted into nursing school. I was lost, depressed, and uncertain about my future. This message helped me realize God did not call us to be perfect. He sees who we are becoming and He looks at us and calls us BELOVED. My goal after hearing this sermon was to make my life based off of that quote. “When people meet you, make them feel like they are meeting heaven for the first time.” God then became my driving force, and my calling and purpose to be a nurse burned so bright.

So here is my story :

I graduated high school in 2014. I grew up playing softball all my life from the age of 8 up until the age of 18. Around the time of my junior year of high school I unfortunately got hurt. I ended up actually having a small tear in my rotator cuff (labrum). It made it almost unbearable to throw a softball. Many of you may or may not know, but travel softball is a very competitive and intense sport. Your weeks consist of hours and hours of practice and countless scrimmages and tournaments on the weekends. I LOVED this sport. I lived and breathed softball. It was my passion and dream to play softball at the collegiate level. My parents were very invested into my love for the game, especially my dad. This sport was a very (me and my dad) type of experience (I will get more into that in a little bit). My mom, don’t get me wrong, was very invested into my love for the game but it was harder for her to be there all the time. I have three younger brothers and unfortunately many times she could not be there because of that. She was always very encouraging and has always supported me. She is my best friend and biggest fan. She is a big part of the reason why my faith in God is so strong. Because of my mom, I got to go to the high school I dreamed of, which was Christian based and my family was able to afford it. It was all because she got hired there my first week of school. Which was a blessing by God. (That is another long story I am sure I will get to eventually).

Back to my dad though, from the very start of my softball career he did everything and anything to get me on the teams I needed to be on to follow my dreams of being a college softball player. Looking back on my days of playing softball I truly think of him and his unconditional love for me. He is a police officer and many nights did not get the best of sleep due to graveyard shifts. That would not stop him though from getting up at the crack of dawn (4am or 5am) to drive me to my softball games or early practices. When I think of my years playing softball, those early car rides in the morning were so special and those long & sometimes anger filled car rides (probably due to looking at a third strike or messing up a play lol), or even car rides with the country music blasting on the way home were just as memorable and special. He is my best friend and the reason why I have the work ethic I do today and the reason why I respect and treat people the way I do now. I didn’t know it at the time but I understand now why he put me into softball. I got so much out of playing this sport.

I had some of the best mentors and coaches around (including my dad). I still am in contact with some of them. If it wasn’t for playing softball I probably would not be almost graduating as a nurse in two months or even remotely have the same work ethic I do today. I want to take a second to thank those mentors that helped me along the way and shaped who I am. I have SO many I would like to name off and thank, but you all know who you are. Thank you for your wisdom and your tough love at times. You all are truly amazing people. God knew what He was doing when He called you all to be coaches.

You probably are wondering how I ended up in nursing school now huh? Well, due to my shoulder injury I decided to stop playing softball. I also chose to stop because to be a nursing student and play softball was very time consuming due to clinical hours. Many colleges I talked to advised me to do physical therapy or sports training instead, but that was not a part of my dream or the calling God put on my heart. I was a senior in high school going through a lot of the stress a senior in high school may go through. I started to really think hard and serious about what I wanted to do with my life. With my injury(s) (I got hurt quite a lot, not just including my shoulder), I really questioned my future as a softball player. At the time I was on a travel team writing countless college letters with the help of my dad and coaches. I had some offers from a couple colleges but none of those schools seemed to be the right fit.

At the time I felt a strong calling to be a nurse. I had the opportunity my junior and senior year of high school to go and serve on two mission trips in Kentucky, Appalachia. Those mission trips truly changed my life. I have always had an interest in the medical field and with my injuries that began my junior year of high school and my countless trips to the doctor/ physical therapy sessions, I began to love it. I was told by my mother, since she worked at my high school, that one of the mission trip directors wife was a nurse. She then continued to tell me that his wife was a nurse who got to go on mission trips and serve. Then and there, a spark of interest filled my mind and percolated. After my first mission trip I got to go on, I realized I loved serving people and my love for the Lord truly began to grow. After my second mission trip my senior year, that dream of being a nurse and going on mission trips started to become more and more real for me. It was then I had a change of heart (which I think was truly from God.) So, I started to listen to my mother’s advice and pray about that decision. The more and more I prayed the more doors closed and new ones opened.

I got a call from a friend and countless texts to look into GCU and meet with a counselor. So, I decided to look into the school and saw that they had a great nursing program. I made a decision that was very hard, but I gave the counselor a call and set a date to talk to her about GCU with me and my dad. I still remember the day as if it was yesterday. I met with this kind GCU advisor and went over the success plan for GCU nursing students and she mapped out what my four years would look like there as a student nurse. I couldn’t have been more excited or happy. I made the decision right then and there after the meeting to commit to GCU. In my heart I knew it was where I was supposed to be. The drive home was hard because I knew softball had officially become a part of my past and that special bond and chapter with my dad was closing too. I took a leap of faith on nursing school and a college I had never even visited before. In my heart I knew it was where God was calling me to be.

Let me tell you though, that leap of faith that I took was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. I still remember the first day I was anxiously waiting for that acceptance letter to come in the mail to start the nursing program. I was so happy I cried when I saw I was accepted (I am not a crier usually too, which tells ya something). I currently am 72 days away from graduating (yes, I have been counting lol). I truly and completely love what I am doing. I am only a little over 2 months away from graduating with my BSN. I have done countless hours of clinicals and countless hours of studying but it has been the most rewarding, hardest, and at the same time easiest thing I have ever done. By easiest I mean, the most natural... (nursing school is tough). I truly believe I have been called to be a nurse. When I put on those scrubs, my stethoscope, and my white (not so white anymore) lol nursing shoes; I feel like I can conquer the world. I am a new person. I love serving and helping people and I could do it easily for the rest of my life.

This first blog was meant to be a little intro about me and my journey into nursing school and I’m sure you will learn a lot more about me as time goes on. If there is anything I can end this first blog on it would be this: Lift up your plans and your dreams to God and He will make a way for the right doors to open and the right doors to close. “God sees us for who we are turning into.” During that dark time in my sophomore year of college, I did not see who God was turning me into. This journey was not easy one bit to get up to this point, but looking back on everything now it all makes sense and the gaps have started to fill in and the big picture is emerging.

So I challenge you all. “When people meet you, make them feel like they are MEETING HEAVEN for the first time.” Also God sees you for who you are turning into and He loves you just as you are right now.

YOU ARE BELOVED.

With that, love Jess.

I’d love to hear your stories or pray for you!

#jesussaves

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joellemiller10-blog · 6 years ago

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“Mom, I made it!” - NYC Update

The look on people’s faces after I shared my “moving to New York City without a job” plan never got old. Many would smile nervously back at me. The evident looks of “yikes, that sounds slightly foolish” were still visible through the laughter and encouragement I received. There were moments when I had to fight fear thinking about the future, but I genuinely believed God would “go before” me in the step of faith I was taking. After doors closed to stay in Minneapolis after graduation, I decided to take the jump. I sincerely believed God had something good for me in New York City.

Susan sent me this quote on November 1st, 2017:

“When God moves us out of our comfort zones - into places that are way bigger than us, places that are difficult, hard, painful, places that even hurt - this is a gift. We are being given a gift. These hard places give us the gift of intimately knowing God in ways that would never be possible in our comfort zones.”

Why New York City?

That could be an entry of its own. The short answer is: for proximity.

Proximity to the communities that God loves, but that are often forgotten. Proximity to people from many different cultures, religions, languages, races, and ethnicities. The world’s diversity exists in this city. I would be living the most mundane parts of my life rubbing shoulders (literally) and sharing train poles with strangers I wouldn’t normally come in contact with. This, to me, would be beautiful. So, whether it was pursuing the legal field, ministry, or nonprofit work, I wanted to be in New York City and live in that proximity.

Funny enough, in December of 2015, several years prior during my sophomore year of college, Tammy (a lifelong mentor of mine) told me, “You know Joelle, I think you’ll end up in New York City one day.”

I chuckled. “Really? Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know, you love people, you love God. It only makes sense that you’d end up there.”

*High five* Tammy Dunford.

Truthfully, throughout the process of preparing to come, I fought to trust the Lord. Was God going to provide a job? What if the step of faith I was taking would result in failure? What if I went broke and had to fly home? Even though I knew God was good, and he wanted good for me, moments of fear over how he would show his goodness were very real. I prayed for three specific things: wisdom, provision, and that I wouldn’t be afraid.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18

“I’m emotionally weary. But I’m still choosing to trust the Lord with these next few months. With the loneliness, discouragement, and heartache. He will be with me. And if the point of all of this is for it to fail, so I can experience God in a better way, then okay. Whatever it takes. Lord, give me a heart of willingness for failure and disappointment.” (Journaled on 12/15/17)

“I will be with you on the train. I will be with you on the street. I will be with you in Flatbush, in Cafe Madeline, in the subway station, in church. I will be with you in your tears. In your heartache. In your discouragement. I will be with you.” (Journaled on 12/31/17)

So, after hugging my family goodbye in the Minneapolis airport on January 8th, I got on the plane.

And, nearly eight months later, I sit in awe as I process all that God did.

The quick update is - God blew my mind.

Day by day, week by week, month by month, he kept me alive. The first two months were full of job interviews, random dog sitting, trying to make friends, and exploring new churches. During month three, I spent my days working at a Jewish college. Drinking tea every morning with the school’s dean and sharing candy with the Armenian janitor. I had lots of alone time with the Lord as I sat on the floor of a filing room and sorted student records. By the end of month four, I had landed a full-time job as the Associate Director of CSM. My bank account had never hit zero (miraculously). I moved into a new apartment with friends (the third place I had lived since arriving). My legs were finally adjusted to all the walking, and I started teaching ESL as a volunteer to North African Muslims in Brooklyn.

Dang. God did it.

Kelsey Linnartz sent me a verse in the mail that month:

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.” Psalm 145:18-19

It’s true that even though God miraculously gave wisdom, offered provision, and took away my fear, I still experienced much loss in this process. Not only in leaving Minnesota to come here, but also since I’ve arrived. In my transition, it was the loss of my home (trading in Minnesota snow for Florida palm trees, ayyeee). Also, loss of proximity with dear friends. Since living here I’ve equally experienced loss of relationships, and loss of the Cru world that I’ve grown to love my whole life.

But oh, how good and faithful God has been these last eight months.

Needless to say, New York City is an adventure every day. In the spring, I found myself shaking hands with Tim Keller as I was having an interview in his office (I definitely didn’t get the job, I was “fan-girling” too much to focus). Just this last weekend, I took a photo for a random tourist, and he turned out to be a famous Brazilian youtuber. We hung out, he took of a video of me listening to Brazilian music, and the video has nearly gone viral (I’ll send you the link if you ask for it, it’s pretty funny actually). I guess I’m famous in Brazil now...? I’ve also had conversations with the president of Black Lives Matter for the Greater New York Area, and I’m getting to know the local Turkish barista in my neighborhood.

Not only has the Lord been so gracious in providing fun experiences here, but he has provided a job in which I can use my giftings and passions.

What is CSM?

CSM (City Service Missions) is an urban missions organization that seeks to bridge the gap between suburban experiences and the injustices that affect the inner-city. We lead mission trips in New York City for high schoolers who come from out of state with their church youth groups. We connect them with ministries in the city where they can serve, and we teach them about how to see justice through the lens of the gospel. http://www.csm.com/

As the Associate Director, I create and maintain partnerships with other churches, nonprofits, and ministries throughout the city. I mentor our college interns, create the mission trip schedules, and speak to the high schoolers during our weekly “worship nights”. My passion for helping my white brothers and sisters in Christ understand the Biblical basis for racial justice is beautifully fleshed out in this role. Through speaking, writing, training, mentoring, and advocating, my skills are thriving. God knew what he was doing in providing CSM for me.

I also want to give a quick shout-out to my boss and CSM City Director, CJ Quartlbaum. Not only has he been an awesome director to work for, but he’s starting to “make it big” with his speaking and writing. Check out his website: https://www.cjquartlbaum.com/ for his published articles and sermons. (Yo Cru people, if you need someone for a Fall Retreat or Cru Winter Conference speaker, he would be fantastic, just sayin’).

CJ and I have been given a fundraising goal to meet for CSM before the end of the year. We still have $5,000 remaining. I figured this post would be a great way to invite you to partner with us financially (see below). The journey towards racial reconciliation and understanding Biblical unity is pertinent to our lives as followers of Christ. We believe that CSM is making an impact in the lives of students, and they are beginning to see the Biblical call for diversity and justice. They are understanding that the journey of following Jesus includes caring for the orphan, widow, imprisoned, poor, and marginalized. 1 John 4 has become even more real for me in this process...

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because is love ... Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another ... And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother”.

So, long story short, New York City is one of the biggest “memorial stones” I’ve ever experienced in my walk with God (Joshua 4). I’ve seen his provision, his faithfulness, his kindness. Even if I would’ve gone broke and had to fly home, he still would’ve given provision, shown to be faithful, and expressed his kindness.

Yet now, some days I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for what the Lord has done that I don’t know how to pray. I’m at a loss for words.

The only things my heart can muster most days is Psalm 13:6 - “I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”

- Joelle

To give to CSM and help us meet our fundraising goal for the year, go to: http://www.csm.org/donate/

(Be sure to write “New York City - CJ Quartlbaum and Joelle Miller” in the “Additional Information” section. Also, message me and let me know if you give!)

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