#being a graduating student while rushing requirements is a pain sighs

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Would you do a Jean x Reader x Reiner one? The reader felt so betrayed by Reiner being a titan shifter and when he left she felt so confused whether she can loves him or not after finding out the truth. Jean comfort her and they eventually fall in love. Or you can do a modern au one where Reiner cheated on the reader and Jean begin to see his chance with the reader then they both had a relationship. But she still can't forget Reiner. I truly love your writing! Have a good day ! ♥

i was wondering if you could do a modern au jean x reader. where the reader is very stressed for a test of some kind, and jean and the reader end up skipping the test and spend the whole day together instead, where towards the end of the day jean confesses his feelings for the reader. a lot of fluff please if you could i am obsessed sorry by @cj-sparkss

A/N: So i decided to merge those two requests because they fit really good together in my head! I hope ou guys like this! I strongly recommend listening to any song in Halsey's album, Manic while reading.

Pairing: Jean/ Reader, some past Reiner/ reader if you squint

Tags: college!au, art school au, fluff all the way

Warnings: Jean being way too cute for his own sake, seriously

Sketches Of You

Your head was burning.

Your eyes were stinging; tiny little little blood vessels were popping here and there, throbbing profoundly as they merged together, rushing their way to your irises. You didn't know for how long you had been awake, mostly because a few days had passed and you didn't remember falling asleep or waking up on your once comfortable desk chair.

Before you laid numerous books open in different pages, most of the writting they held emphasized by your favorite pastel highlighter. What felt like your lamp buzzed, burning a canary yellow light over the mahogany material of your desk, warming up the spot where your hand used to lay. A pen in your hand was all you could bring yourself to hold with your numb, frozen fingers, the plastic edges of its tube sunk into your skin, carving bumps to mark their spot in your hand.

Wait, oh no, you thought as you looked around this wasn't your dorm, this was the university's library.

The library around you was extremely quiet as you laid face down on one book, your mouth slightly part and your lips dry save for the little ribbon of drool that moistened a line down your right cheek. Only for one more minute, you told yourself, deciding to shut your eyes together just to allow them sometime to rest, ignoring how such request was what had caused you to drift off to such extend in the first place. Stinging tears escaped the corners of your eyelids, signifying how tired and dry your irises had grown to be. Letting out a huge sigh you tried to lift your head, at least this could be an attempt to get your life together for the day.

Your scattered books came to close quietly under your palms, the numerous pieces of papers and notes being tucked messily in between pages, your own fatigue causing you to break your own rules when it came to being as neat as you could with your notes. Another sigh left you as you sank into the back the plastic chair, your books firmly standing on top of eachother and into your palms.

This test was going to end you. You knew it. Despite having tried to memorise all the information that was required for you to even try to get a five -seriously, a five would be absolutely godsent if you could at least get that grade- all you were left with was your brain feeling mushy and muddy without any actual knowledge of the subject you had been studying for. Why on earth was gothic architecture an essential class in your first year in art school was beyond you. Was this university never supposed to let you graduate on top of trying to prevent you getting in for numerous years?

Resisting the urge to scream or pull your hair off your head you decided that it was time to get up, your knees straightening slightly at the your brain's command, only to be sent back into the blue plastic of your chair, your whole body growling in fatigue. Your chest heavied as you let out a whine, bringing your hands to your eyes to scrub away the stinging ache you were feeling.

"You good?"

Your head turned to the direction of the voice maniacally, your eyes shooting wide as you practically ripped your hands off of your face. Looking up, your (e/c) orbs met with hazel ones, little specs of yellow and green stared back at you through thick eyelashes, adorned with a complex of worry plastered on dark chestnut eyebrows.

"Yeah Jean, I'm just studying."

"Oh it's Mr Ackerman's test right?"

"Hm" you hummed in response, another whine coming out of your lips.

"Yeah I remember how that class went for me. He's pretty nice if you get to know him though. I have to submit a few sketches for tomorrow, can I sit with you or were you leaving?"

"No, I'll keep you company, I need a break from whatever.." your eyes wandered at the books in your hands and the numerous note sheets peaking out from anywhere you could lay your gaze on "..this is."

Extending a hand Jean reached out for the head of the chair right next to you, pulling it back in order to let himself sink into the dark blue plastic seat, similarly to you. His lips pushed into a thin line as he looked at you, his cheek puffing up in the action. A hand came to your shoulder comfortingly as another one pulled out his sketchbook from his run down and way too littered with dry paint tote bag.

"Are those for Moblit's workshop?"

"Mhm." Jean confirmed. "You got any 0.8 tipped inks?"

"Yeah, I do."

Setting the leather covered sketchbook on the mahogany table Jean turned his head to you again, pointing his eyes onto the black pencil case in front of you. In response you shrugged your shoulders, your palms shooting up to your eyes once again. Jean's hand grabbed on your case, his long fingers digging through the numerous inking pens and markers that overlapped each other.

"I can't believe you have the Sakura Pens when you know I don't like them." Jean whined, hands roaming through your belongings still.

"Jean," you said, a deep chuckle escaping you in the process "I happen to like them, you know."

"They're yikes."

"You just can't use them correctly."

"How do you use an inking pen correctly. Enlighten me." Jean mocked, his fingers throwing signs in the air to accentuate his words.

Resting his head on his fist Jean opened his sketchbook, swiping through numerous ivory cold pressed pages, filled with inked sketches. Your eye twitched as you tried to keep up with many of the drawings you could spot; you had seen the contents of this sketchbook a thousand times, admiring Jean's skill with ink. His professor, Mister Moblit had one of the most interesting workshops for students who specialised in inks, and you aspired to take his classes in your following year in art school, supposing you could pass your classes this very semester.

"What are you supposed to be drawing?"

"Anything, mostly things that make us feel like they are important to draw." Jean said.

"Oh and library is important?"

"Sasha said you'll be here, so yup. And I want to draw my hands actually "

You clicked your tongue, shaking your head in borderline disbelief. Honestly, if you weren't that bummed about your test and your recent break up you could have laughed at Jean's sly arrogance. Your eyes traveled to Jean, examining his quiet form as he studied his palms. Inevitably your eyes studied them as well.

His fingers were long and tan and harsh to look at, scrapped in most places with tints of Indian ink. They stuggled to manage with your pencil case, his pinkies and thumbs couldn't even begin to fit in the little object and it made you wonder how he even managed to work his inking pens correctly with such enormous hands. Some veins popped from here and there, accentuating his bulky joints perfectly; they run from the back of his palms to his wrist, mingling with more of their blue kind in his calfs and biceps. The occasional blotches of dried paint were decorating them. Even some paint covered hairs spiked as the light contracted his form.

You smiled miscellaneously.

Your own finger traveled without remorse towards them, poking at a few hairs that were littered with paint. By pinching one, Jean shot back in half pain, his brows furrowing in confusion as he stared at you. "Hey, what they fuck!"

"You do that to me all the time when i have paint in my hands!" You half laughed, shooting him a mocking furrowed look as well.

“You’re so cruel!” Jean grinned.

“To pay you back with your own penny right?”

Jean cocked his eyebrow at you, a few lines begging to make an appearance on his forehead. He shook his head a couple of times, throwing a few shaggy strands of hair away from his face, his forehead immediately lighting up as his ashy blond locks overlapped just above his ears. You mimicked him, using a hand to move your feathery bangs away from your face as to not have them intertwining with your vision.

Jean brought a digit to his mouth, biting at the bulky knuckle while wrapping his lips around it to suck at the sore spot, dramatically mourning the loss of one single hair. It made you laugh harder than it should have and you told him off, quickly grabbing his hand by the wrist to pull it further away from his mouth.

"Ew you idiot are your hands even washed!? Don't put them in your mouth!"

Jean's smile faded gradually as he nodded its only reminder remaining in his eyes as they softened with each passing second they looked at you. You bobbed your head to the side, taking in the way he was looking at you and you felt your gut grunting in the anxiety you had managed to drown at one time.

You definitely knew that look.

"So how are you after... The whole Reiner thing?"

When Jean let the sentence out, he instantly regretted it. Biting back the inside of his lip, his teeth dug into his soft, fleshy gum, the tiny specks of spiky under lip hair he had poking through his chin. You could see the regret plastered on his face, yet you ignored it with a sigh, pushing your stern further back into the chair again.

Of course Jean would ask about that. Reiner and you had broken up a little less that a month ago and it was stressful enough to send your anxiety over the roof. Coming home to find him drapped in the sheets with someone else was still burning through your brain like a hot iron, marking the fleshy crevices by piercing your skull.

Jean and you hadn't had a chance to talk about your break up yet; in the midst of it being a spontaneous reaction to Reiner's anathema and your upcoming mid-terms, you had chosen to indulge yourself fully with the everlasting pleasure of delving into studying.

And now, as you tried to utter your awaited words your stomach clenched at the foreshaken memory that you had tried to bury in the depths of your soul, your hands sweating just a tiny bit as you gulped down on some saliva to dumpen your dry throat. Jean's hazel orbs were set on you with curiosity and reluctance, his skin tingling inside his crewneck sweater.

"I mean, Eren told us about it and then we fought on who would punch Reiner first you know."

You oggled at him as he spoke awkwardly, your lashes batting rapidly as a wave of confusion washed through you.

"You don't have to hit Reiner you know, we all make our choices and he made his."

"Ah," Jean sighed heavily "I suppose so. I'm here for you though, you can talk to me."

"You're actually doing an assignment at the moment" you said and pointed your finger onto his sharp nose, giving him a playful push to the side. "No need to talk about my sorry love life."

"Your love life isn't pitiful, don't talk about it like that!"

"It's not pitiful, just sad." You sighed, reaching out to your pencil case. "Just sad."

Your fingers run through the case even though your eyes weren't fixated on the action, your sense of touch working its way to let you know which object you were seeking. The tips of your fingers caught on the thick Posca marker quickly and you locked it in a grasp between your pointer and middle finger, bringing it up through the zip up opening.

"Give me your hand." You ordered at Jean as you clapped your fingers to your palm in a 'come here' motion.

"It could always get better you know." Jean spoke and threw his hand to you.

Slowly the cap was off the market with a snap and you slid it up towards it's butt to pop it on there as to not lose it in any case it feel off of the desk and onto the mosaic floor.

Jean's nose lit up in a faint scarlet and his ears followed right next, lighting up in a deeper shade of the color on his nose which made his hand snap away from you in a matter of seconds. With puckered lips he stared at the corner of the room that was in the opposite direction of yours, his gut drenching him in short tempered anxiety.

"You done painting my nails with the posca pen?" Jean remarked, lips still puckered as he turned to face you. "When's your exam?"

"Three o'clock."

"Wanna ditch?"

Your eyes goggled in his for a second. The luminous morning light that peaked through the library binds fell onto him dearly, caressing a few of his features in a lemony colored mellow way, your gaze traveled into anywhere on his face as you tried to examine his expression while your gut was beginning to churn at the sly thought of agreeing with his query.

Weighting your options wasn't a seriously hard thing to do; if you took the test you were most likely going to fail, but if you didn't take it you'd have to live with the guilt of not even putting the minimal effort in it for a few weeks. But, you had tried so hard to pass all of your other classes so why shouldn't you slack off for one that was bound to end in a fiasco?

You found yourself nodding to Jean before you could actually give more thought to it. His face immediately lit up, ashy blond locks flying over his eyes as he shook his head in excitement. With one move his sketchbook was closed again, left to mourn over the non existent scribbles Jean could have made during all this time he was sitting next to you.

The hard cover protected sketching pages were thrown into to his tote bag once again, the sound of the sketchbook colliding and clashing with a few more objects he had in the bag filling the silent air of the library.

"Put your books in here!" He offered, opening the sides of the tote bag right on front of your face, signaling you to do as he suggested.

By taking a long sigh you took a turn in throwing your books and pencil case in the bag, one object following another on the pursuit of finding their own place in Jean's crammed bag. A shy smile adorned your features as you looked at him, the mischievous little devil on your shoulder smiling proudly at your actions as if you were a high schooler skipping school.

_____

Black Cat was a notorious cafe among art university students for numerous reasons. For example, it featured a decent amount of of beautiful contemporary art that was meticulously merged with the soft, cobblestone-cottagecore-home-during-the-winter aesthetic and all of their tables, stools and booths were artist-friendly to the max. Additionally it played Nirvana and Metallica for most of the day and on top of that they actually had a chunky and extremely cuddly black cat roaming around the store that you often found on your lap during your time there.

Oh, and the batwoman made amazing custom cocktails.

Really was there anything else anyone needed in a store?

The soft tangerine light flickered open as the sun outside started to hide it's shy low lights under the peak of a mountain you couldn't recall the name of, the soft smell of apple pie filling your nostrils as you sipped lightly from your earl gray tea occasionally, stealing a few glances of Jean's focused expression. A knowingly half smile went up to your face as you looked at the scenery outside before fixing your eyes back onto the bright screen of your phone.

Jean cooed in his leathery chair for the upteenth time today, his gaze fixated on the sketchbook on his hands. You had spend last hour in absolute silence; you had decided to roam around in your phone for references for an assigned collage you had to do in Photoshop as Jean had settled on drawing the horizon from outside the window to practice on his perspective while finishing up the sketches he had to submit.

Your day had passed by pretty fast; you had visited an urban side of the town that was flooded with art supply stores and you had delved into every single one roaming around to find any kind of supplies you were short on, or just generally needed. As Jean correctly had said, you are always short on art supplies.

Thus, you had ended up with a bag filled with complementary acrylic colors in tubes of 20ml mostly because they costed a dollar each, and also because as art students you got to receive twenty percent off of all your supply bills. Jean had only bought a new set of watercolors and a few Edding inks and 0.7 tipped poscas, as he was sure he would ruin your expensive Sakura Liners in his attempts to finish his project.

Then you had decided to cram your place for some much needed lunch before heading off to Black Cat to have some tea and coffee while Jean would finish off his last few of the sketches he had been drawing throughout the day.

"So" Jean awkwardly spoke as in to break the deep silence, his thumb pressing over the edge of the page his drawing was placed as he closed the sketchbook carefully "I wanted to ask, because ahem, I'm your friend and I'm worried about you... Do you want to vent about Reiner?"

"Ah, no" you shook your head and fixed your gaze onto the auburn colored liquor in your cup as you reluctantly lift it up to bring it to your lips before speaking "I mean, I got so sad you know. And I haven't gotten over it, of course, I mean I liked Reiner. A lot."

"I came see it in your eyes. But I'm here for-"

"And he's a bitch you know? He could have told me if he was bothered by anything I did or if it wasn't going well for him. I'd gladly work anything out or even break up peacefully."

"You know," Jean sighed, he too bringing his cup of coffee to his lips to take a sip before gulping it down. "My opinion is obviously biased here, but I support you. I've took a psychology class and we were actually delving into as to why some people cheat, there are many reasons as to why it could have happened."

Your heart slightly aches as you looked at him, a few veins in your hand twitching slightly as he continued rambling about all things he had grasped from his class. Your stomach growled angrily in anxiety, warning you to put an halt to your friend's words but you couldn't bring yourself to do so.

Not knowing the reason as to why Reiner had chosen to see someone else behind your back had hurt you beyond repair. Deep inside you still felt the need to get some closure, although with your stress on your exams you had been sure you would most likely give in to anything Reiner would say and this wasn't who you were.

You could go on without having any closure, it shouldn't have mattered so much to you in any way.

And to some extent it didn't.

"I'm hurt, but I'm the other hand I don't really care about anything you know?"

"Mhm, yeah, look at you getting over it so quickly!" Jean said semi enthusiastically. "You need to be able to share your pain in order for it to become small and eventually non-existent."

"You know, for someone who takes such sophisticated classes you talk like you haven't slept in ages!"

"Give me a break, as if you don't."

The two of you burst into bubbling laughter, your chests heaving and falling as the sounds of joy left you one by one. Jean's hand had come to rest on top of yours softly, giving you a couple of squeezes as his eyes squinted in synch with yours.

And then, in a moment that seemed like it was forced out of a coffee shop au fanfiction, Jean's hand rubbed a few soothing circles over yours. Slowly his laughter was begging to set into a silent harmony, the woody brown specs of his eyes providing the slightest tint of warmth into his gaze.

"This is why I love you so much."

The choice of words was supposed to be naive whether it was intentional or not, or that's what you tried to tell yourself because you thought you knew Jean better than anyone. The look in his eyes, the soft upwards curves of his eyebrows, the way his top lip overlapped go bottom one as his eyes glimmered into yours; this wasn't a very casual look for Jean, it was the look he had on when he was looking at something that mesmerised him. And you knew he meant exactly what he had said.

But did you like Jean?

Well, was there anyone who could spend so much time with Jean and not fall for him, even without realising it?

At one time it had become obvious that he liked you, although he'd never act upon it. You knew it in his movements, in the little ways he looked at you or cared for you like no one else actually did while hiding behind the mask of being a friend. Eren had been one to tease him for it restlessly and you had been able to catch upon that too but you had never let it be known that you had been able to see through his facade.

"Forget it I shouldn't even have had-"

With curious eyes you stared back, your gaze never truly leaving him. When he suddenly shook his hand off of yours you found your other hand pressing on top of his, trapping the limb in place as you tried to open your mouth to utter any word. It was still hard to find the right choice of words, ones that wouldn't hurt to be heard.

"Jean... I-"

"No, forget it, it just slipped, shit."

"Look Jean shut up for a second please I want to speak okay?" You huffed half playfully, despairate to stop Jean's mumbling "I know."

"You know?" Jean cursed under his breath.

"Yeah, I do, it's obvious. And I've had this huge crush on you ever since fifth grade you know? I never really got over you because I spent all of my teen years thinking we'd end up together."

You watched as Jean's face lit up at your words, a new glimmer adorning his eyes just as the sky turned a sheer violet as the sun retreated deeper into a non visible horizon.

"And then we kissed in eighth grade and we fought about it and we stopped hanging out because I asked for space since I just could believe what was happening. But we're friends again and it's the best thing to happen to me in years."

You continued, your hand never leaving his while soothing circles were rubbed onto his palm.

"But I'm not going to ask you for space this time."

"You're not?"

"No. Just a little patience. I'm still getting over Reiner and I don't want to be unfair to you and rip you off of something that you might ask from me."

Jean snapped his hand away from yours and you retreated your hands back to yourself shyly, a bitter mouth leaking into your mouth as you tried to swallow it down fast to no avail. Somehow your heart felt a strong stinging, the pulling of your heartstrings at steak while your heart was sprawled before you.

Was that your last chance with Jean? You had told yourself that time and space between you would be right one day, but that day seemed to stray further away now, slipping right off your hands because you couldn't forget Reiner fast enough.

"I'm not fourteen anymore, so don't be afraid about me straying away. I just wanted to show you something."

Jean's worked through the pages of his sketchbook, taking a few seconds before they landed where they wanted to. Flipping the sketchbook to match your point of view, he revealed the sketches he had been scribbling all day. They depicted you in majority. The look on your face as you picked a tube of paint, your hands as they grabbed through numerous brushes and sketchbooks. Even the way you stared at your phone as you sat across him was perfectly sketched on the paper and hatched in indian ink, adorned by Jean's raw drawing style.

"Jean, that's me!"

"Mister Moblit told us to draw things that were personally important to us. So, I hope you don't mind."

Damn, you felt like tearing up.

In the midst of trying to get your stupid heart to calm down from the impossible rhythm in which it was beating at and stating at Jean's sketches so hard that your eyes felt like they'd pop out and any given moment your would felt like setting fire to your whole being while your tears were restlessly trying to put it out. It was even outdated to feel like that about Jean, your younger self told you but there was no way you could help it.

With rivers of tears running from the corners of your eyes you looked up at the hazel orbs that were set on you, feeling your heart want up by their luminous gaze.

"Jean I-"

"Shush, you don't have to say anything. Just let me know if I can hug you."

"I'd love that." You said shyly under your breath.

Next thing you knew Jean had gotten up from his seat and had plopped himself right next to you, pushing your head deep in his chest. The song in the background faded gradually as you felt serenity wash through you, despite your heart hammering in your chest beyond a point you could actually feel it.

And for now all that mattered was that you could listen to Jean's heart beat nearly as fast as yours while his words played inside your head.

Maybe, just maybe time and space between the two of you was right this time.

taglist: @sasageyowrites @levisbrat25 @ackermans-freedom-inc @melancholicmonologue @berrijam @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore 

[heli0s-writes]

VII. Blessed Be the Mystery of Love

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes Summary:  An epilogue. Six months later. A/N: The last chapter! And with that, Mystery of Love has concluded :)

A large hand paws lazily at your back as you fix the blouse you’d just slipped on. It had taken you almost an hour to get out of bed and even longer to get ready today, so you’re in a bit of a mood when the same hand starts walking itself up your shirt. You slap it with a sharp thwack and it retreats with a sniveling whine.

There’s a rumbling of laughter that follows as you slip your blazer over your shoulders.

Rolling your eyes, you land them on the bed where your two lovers lie. Steve is nursing his offending hand under his cheek as he peers up with his signature ocean gaze. Bucky is lying on his back, inoffensive limbs tucked neatly behind his head, telling you: look at me, I’m a good boy.

They’re both shirtless, taut chest and abs radiant in the chiaroscuro light your vanity table provides. The striped comforter comes up to reach just beneath their waists and you know for a fact Bucky’s completely nude this morning, but avert your gaze.

“Brat...” You shoot at Steve instead, who pouts even more. In the mirror, you swipe on a quick layer of mascara before slinging your purse over your shoulder.

Crossing your arms at the foot of the bed, you regard the men lying in it, eagerly awaiting your attention. It’s such a comical sight, you think, as you step from one heeled foot to the other, blazer fixed neatly and buttoned. You, nearly 70 years younger than them, look like some kind of sugar-momma or dominatrix, in complete command of two compliant subordinates.

As naughty as they were, keeping you up last night after they returned from a three-day-long mission, you couldn’t help but melt under their coquettish-bitten lips and puppy-dog sulking eyes. You’d been woken up past midnight and weren’t able to sleep until nearly three in the morning, and they both knew you had to be up at six.

It wasn’t entirely their fault, of course, since it only took half a mischievous bite to your neck from Bucky before your clothes were completely shed.

“Boys, this is ridiculous.” You want to be stern, but their absolutely endearing expressions melts your mood right off. A tiny quirk of your lips appear and they quickly match your countenance.

“Does that mean you forgive us?”

Your smile says more than enough. Yes, of course. Always.

“Good. I’ll drive.” Steve rises from the bed and Bucky follows. They head into the restroom to brush their teeth before pulling casual clothes on in a rush, eager to spend as much time with you as possible. You’d been taking the car by yourself for the past week, but you do love it when Steve drives. They’re much better company than what your radio can give you.

At the car, Bucky pinches your bottom and climbs in before he shuts the door.

“You know,” Steve grumbles, squinting at the rearview mirror image of Bucky nipping at your ear, “I thought you’d sit up here with me.”

“Nah, pal. I’m much better company. ‘Sides, you don’t need any distractions while you’re driving. But me? I’m a free agent back here.” He starts peeling your skirt upward, “How bout you, hon?”

You only laugh, catching Steve’s eye before intertwining your fingers in Bucky’s and kissing him, leaning your head against his shoulder. Steve puts on a song and starts singing along.

The drive is a lengthy one, and it gets even more tiresome when you get into the city. Steve is in bumper-to-bumper traffic as you gaze off in contemplation.

The last six months of your life have been the absolute nuttiest, you think, watching the streetlights go past against a gradient of orange, pink, and blue hues. Sunrise has started coming up a little bit later, now that it’s well into fall, and the chilly morning air lets Steve roll the windows down a bit.

He’s taking you to work, and it’s a procedure that you’re still trying to get used to.

You started two months ago at Cooper Union- just a visiting artist position, but still one that you take very, very seriously. Byrne kept good on his promise after the show and had given you a list of opportunities to interview for. It’s all by choice, anyway, since the profit from the show totaled more than enough to set you up comfortably for at least five years. And that’s saying quite a lot considering that you live in Manhattan of all places.

You wanted to start your job with baby steps to avoid overwhelming yourself in an academic setting. Being a visiting artist gave you a lot of freedom and just the right amount of responsibility.

The position entailed no more than three public speaking events, your own studio to develop a show at the end of the semester, and the opportunity to work closely with a mixed group of graduate and undergraduate students as their mentor. You were required to be on-campus at least once a week, but you usually went in twice just to keep your office open.

So far, it had been smooth sailing.

You look from Steve up front to Bucky at your shoulder, sighing happily and nuzzling deeper into his chest, flicking his nose with your finger. He growls playfully in response.

This had been smooth sailing too, save for a couple of rainy days and one very turbulent storm. All natural and expected aspects of being in a relationship. The biggest fight you’d had so far was a furious row after a mission where you were so cross afterward that you didn’t speak to either of them for an entire night.

You had sat in on the debriefing out of curiosity and learned that they’d taken an impulsive risk that had put their lives in more danger than the mission anticipated. Even worse, this was a regular occurrence. Tony called them the “Super-Annoying Soldiers”.

That night, you slept in Bucky’s room and ordered them into Steve’s.

The next morning, they both came in, stammering, apologetic, promising that they would never, ever be that careless again. The make-up session lasted four hours and you emerged around noon thoroughly convinced and dog-tired.

 The three of you learned new things about each other every day.

For example, Bucky religiously ate bad Chinese take-out and Steve danced in the shower. Steve loved it when you pulled his hair and Bucky loved pulling your hair. The three of you spent nights fumbling all over each other when they had time at the compound, and if one of them happened to be away, the other two would Facetime when possible. It wasn’t a necessity, by any means, it was more of consideration; they were also content to let each other be with you privately.

Jealousy never arrived to bother any of you.

In fact, you often let the boys have time to themselves. Especially on your days at work. There had been many evenings when you’d come back to the compound after dinner and they were cuddled up on the couch, enjoying a movie or a nap. It was the sweetest thing. Sam and Clint took many pictures and both turned red after you casually mentioned that they should see pictures of what else the Steve and Bucky get up to when you’re not around.

“Because... they get up to a lot. I’m not always a necessary part of the puzzle, you know.” A single wink was all it took for your friends to high tail it out of the room.

It was a running joke with the team that the three of you had a very adventurous sex life together- as predicted by Tony. Admittedly, yes, it was exciting, but beyond the sex (and there was quite a lot of it- so many positions and scheduled water breaks), you were more than happy to just sit with a cup of tea and a board game, or going for walks, or watching them spar. You had even started to go on short jogs and spent time working out with them as well. It was painful at first (leg day was fine, chest day was the devil’s invention), but the showers together afterward really made up for it.

Every day brought something new to the table.

Last night, after Bucky fell asleep on the edge of the bed a little past three, Steve settled in the middle and you laid your head on his chest, kissing the sweat-slick skin beneath your lips.

“Hey...” You began slowly, pressing your mouth to his neck.

“Mhm... Hey back,” he parroted, slurring through the sleepy fog. “What’s on your mind?”

“Honestly, kind of a lot...?” You felt yourself come down from the high peak of love and marching up a peak of anxiety. You had started to babble about the mechanics of domesticity because the television prompter in your brain began to marquee way too fast. This ritual of sleeping together and waking up together had been blossoming into some future fantasies that you’re not sure how to bring up. You supposed this was as good of a time as any.

Steve was a bit stunned from your sudden outburst, “Hold on honey... Let me wake up for this.”

“Sorry... But Steve,” You rambled onward, “What about being Captain America? And how does that I don’t know- what does that mean when it comes to a family? Marriage? Children?” Your face burned at the thought of a little blue-eyed toddler running around by your feet, perhaps fair-haired, or rowdy and cleft-chinned.

You’d been dreaming about it at night, blanket forts and stuffed animals, a nursery, and a crib, and a mobile full of stars. The rational side of your brain chastised it- you were too young, you wanted to keep exploring the world, getting used to your position, and your relationship. The rational side also continuously brought up the fact that the father of your children would be one of two Super Soldiers- Jesus, maybe both, whose lives were always precariously balancing on … God, you didn’t know what.

Underneath you, Steve buzzed awake—as much as he could.

“Well… I’d love that.” He exhaled a deep breath, arm coming up to rub your shoulders. “Always wanted to be a dad, but let’s start with uh, maybe sleep for now. What do you say?”

You mumbled against him, “I didn’t mean to sound like I’m rushing you into those things, by the way. I suppose it was just a natural discussion to bring up.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Steve had rubbed his nose against your ear, breath warm and inviting. You distinctly felt a smile grow on his face. “I also know Bucky would appreciate being in the loop. Let’s save it for the morning.” He placed a hand on Bucky’s bare back, drawing circles along his spine as he groaned in his sleep.

You kissed your man sweetly, and before you knew it, you’d fallen dreamlessly asleep in his arms.

-

“Ready, honey?” Bucky squeezes your thigh, snapping you from your daze. He’s a little concerned that you’ve been so quiet for the whole trip, and grumpy that he’d been subject to Steve’s awful bellowing. The car’s parked on the street, about a block away. “You okay?”

“Yes, sorry... just thinking about our conversation last night.”

Bucky’s eyes light up delightedly, “Kitten, I don’t know if dirty talk counts as a conversation... but I’m all ears.”

“Buck, you fell asleep early. We talked about havin’ kids, pal.”

“Mhmmm—what?” After a pause, with you and Steve exchanging concerned looks, Bucky grips your hand so tightly it almost hurts, “Babe, I... I... wh-” The expression on his face changes from shock to concern, then finally, it knocks the air from your lungs when he looks at you.

“I can’t... I can’t.”

You see the storm over the horizon in Bucky’s eyes. His blue fades into grey, and billowing clouds have cast a shadow over the sloping mountain of his nose and the sharp plains of his cheeks. You can only console him with a sad smile and kisses along his jaw. He’s lost, now, in the past of his actions, in the raging tempest of thunderous roars and lightning strikes in his mind. It’s all scorched earth and barren wasteland to him. It’s filling your chest up with embers—not for yourself, but for him, and you are struggling to speak calmly.

“It was just a thought, Buck. For the future. Don’t think about it too much.”

You exit the car, kissing both your Soulmates softly. Steve gives you a final lingering look before you disappear down the campus street, starting to fill up with student bodies. Bucky is motionless in the back as Steve shifts gears and takes him back home.

-

They spend the next hour arguing in the bedroom, taking their squabble from the car to the garage, to the common area where Natasha raises an eyebrow too sharply for Steve’s comfort. Bucky’s pulling his hair and stomping, Steve’s sitting with both fists clenched on his knees, head leaned back in frustration. It’s moved beyond just the possibility of children, and deeper into the territory of Bucky’s repentance.

It’s a conversation Steve is sick of having because he doesn’t think Bucky needs to repent for anything. Steve has physically fought for this; he’s bled for this. But every time it seems like he might have pushed his boulder to the peak of the hill, it rolls back down on top of him.

“Buddy, you gotta stop.” Steve admonishes, feeling the aggravation building, deflecting a glare from his friend, “We’re not talking about if you deserve kids, Buck. We’re just … talking about kids. That’s it.”

“Look at me, Stevie, what th’ fuck am I gonna do with a kid?” Bucky sputters and waves his arms around, and then he takes his flesh one and points it to his cybernetic one. “Look at me!” There’s a panic in his eyes- the same one that’s lasted for over an hour with no sign of quelling. “She... sh-she can have your baby. I’m not... I can’t be a part of that.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels himself clench up with a devastating truth that hurts too much to imagine.

Steve crosses his arms and stands, using his full height to stare down at Bucky. He’s not that much taller, but it’s enough for Steve to say with his body I’m bigger than you and you need to listen to me. Bucky flinches at the hard stare and puts both hands over his face with a groan.

“There is no that without you.” Steve says firmly, arms tucked under each other so tightly his biceps bulge like boulders against his chest. He’s trying not to get angry because he knows it would be like squirting kerosene into a burning building. He needs to smother the fire, not encourage it.

“There is no this without you. We are Bound, all three of us. Buck, this isn’t happening tomorrow, or even next year, or even the year after that. We just talked about the possibility of it in the future.” His voice grows softer the longer he talks, and Bucky’s fear begins to slow to his pace, fizzling out like a candlelight.

“Pal, can you blame her? She’s twenty-three. She’s in love... with you of all people. Gee, Buck. Someone’s in love with you so much they think about havin’ a baby with you... And ya run for the hills.” Bucky mulls it over as Steve approaches, and there’s regret sinking into his stomach as he thinks about your sad eyes in the backseat of the car. He thinks about how you still kissed him before you left.

“Shit. I screwed it up, didn’t I? God. We got the sweetest girl and..” He grimaces, eyes flickering with anxiety.

Steve pats him on both shoulders before pulling him into his arms. Bucky is hard, tense muscle and warm breaths as he leans into Steve and they embrace until he calms down again.

They’ve always been happy to give and receive hugs as friends, often patting each other on the back fondly or comfortingly. It’s been moreso as of late- a result of spending more time together intimately. The hugs are more tender, more loving.

When Steve wakes up in the middle of the night in-between two bodies, he often looks over at Bucky, too, admiring the way he looks when he’s at peace. It’s something Steve’s wanted to see since he found Bucky; it’s something he sees more of every day. He wants to keep it that way.

“Think she’ll forgive me?”

Steve can only laugh as he brushes the hair out of Bucky’s face, rubbing his knuckles over the bristles along his jaw. “Yeah, Buck. Of course.” The sigh against his shoulder once more is a response all on its own.

Steve thinks back to the night he woke up and you were sitting on the sofa crying. It was your first time without Bucky since the three of you had started sharing a bed together. It was the first time you hadn’t slept with both in almost a month; it was long enough to pine for and ache about. You were used to being in the middle, he had thought, so maybe piling pillows on the empty side to simulate a presence might help. You stirred anyway.

He quietly sat down next to you, kissing your bare shoulder that peeked out from under the throw blanket. There were tears in your eyes as he cradled you in his arms.

“I miss him too. He’ll be back soon.”

“It’s not that…” You sniffled, “I was just thinking about... something Pietro told me.” You turned to him, crossing your legs and opening up the blanket to invite him in. Steve wrapped the edge as much as he could around his large frame and pulled you into his lap.

“What’s that?”

“Remember that day I came back, and you saw me by the pool?”

He nodded. Of course he remembered. He had spent three days in agony, feverish at night, freezing in the morning, waking up dripping in sweat. His chest hurt every waking moment and only ached even more in Bucky’s presence as if it was the Binding’s reminder to them that there was a missing piece that wouldn’t be forgotten. Seeing you by the pool that day extracted all of Steve’s pain in a single scoop. He had almost slipped running out of the room to catch you.

“Pietro said... There are two meant to love you. You never have to wonder, it is wonderful.”

He didn’t understand why you looked so sad until you glanced over to the bed where the pile of pillows had been kicked off, exposing the vacancy. “Do you think… Bucky knows that? I don’t wonder about the future and think that either of you will leave me, and I don’t think about me leaving either of you.”

You paused to wipe your cheeks, “But does Bucky know? Does he still think that he’s unlovable? He never tells me the truth, but I see it when he’s just looking at me. It hurts, Steve. I’m so worried all the time. I don’t want him to wonder about us.”

Steve Rogers kissed you that night with the intensity of a lover leaving for war. He held onto you so tightly you thought you might sink inside of him. He made love to you on that sofa in the darkness and caressed the tears on your cheeks so sweetly you cried. He had seen more and more of your heart every day, and it filled him with so much love it sometimes hurt. You loved them, together, equally, and separately, with their individual flaws and quirks.

And God, Steve thinks, there are a fucking lot of flaws.

“Buck,” Steve says, taking his friend’s face in his hands, fingers running through the dark mane. “She loves you. She loves you more than she knows what to do with. You can’t treat yourself like this. It hurts all of us.”

Another silence envelopes them as Steve holds onto him, massaging the back of his head tenderly. They break apart after another long moment before sending each other half-smiles and understanding nods, affirmations exchanged through smiles and blinks. Bucky speaks first.

“I love you too, Steve.”

 -

The boys arrive around two to pick you up and wave from the car, parked outside of the Art Building. The students surrounding you eventually let you go but stare open-mouthed at the shiny classic Mustang and Bucky’s vibranium-black hand holding your favorite drink. It’s his own personal white flag. The conversation is casual throughout the whole ride as they sit up front and you in the back. You tell them about your day and the work you’ve been up to, mentioning a few favorite teaching moments with students. They listen intently and coil their intended conversation slowly around your own, reading your mood with prudence.

At the compound, it’s turned up many notches when Bucky falls to his knees and lays his head against your tummy.

“I’m s’rry, babe.” He mumbles “S’rry I jumped t’ conclusions and... I’m such an idiot. Please don’t be mad with me, even if I deserve it.” His twang comes back when he’s emotional. The slurring of his ‘r’s and dropping his vowels brings a slight pinch to your chest when you think about all of the things he’s been through and how he could have so easily have just been another soldier returned from war, living out the rest of his days as a Brooklyn boy. But the path he’s been on has led him to this moment, to this darkness inside of him.

You pat his head gingerly, watching the smile grow on Steve’s face as he stands beside you. You know this is his doing, pulling Bucky from his own trap and bringing him back out. You’ve spent enough time with him to know that without help, Bucky will torture himself for days, biting off his own tail in a box of his own design.

“Bucky, the problem isn’t that you jumped to conclusions; the problem is that you think you’re an idiot. And that you think you deserve it.” You’re stern with him but continue to pet his hair.

He nods, over and over frantically, but you’re not sure if he really hears you. He wants this moment to be finished, you think, and so for now you’ll let it be. Sometimes you had to pick the right battles to fight, and for now you were content with this battle ending how it will. You don’t mind repeating it later, you know Bucky needs more assurance than most, and you’re happy to a part of that constant thing for him.

For now, he wants to be touched. It’s how he knows you still love him.

So you do. You kiss him all over. Steve latches on to his wrist and takes him to the bed. You both undress him and then yourselves. Bucky lies on his back, still sorrowful and regretful, but as the two of you hang over him, fingers intertwined, he feels his sadness vanish into the sheets.

Between your soft hands and Steve’s firm grasps, Bucky falls apart completely.

When Bucky goes to starts the bath, you spend a few minutes lying in bed with Steve just to caress him. You want to let him know too that he’s just as important, that you care just as deeply and passionately for him.

“You’re amazing.” He says, eyes dancing under your gaze, “He’s just stubborn. Always has been.”

“Mmm,” you smile back, “Reminds me of someone I know.”

“Who’s that?”

You pretend to contemplate it before planting countless kisses on his lips. “Come on, he’ll get fussy if we’re late.”

He gives you a piggy-back ride to the tub.

They take turns lathering you up and each other in the water, in-between playful splashing and affectionate touches. The three of you are a sight to behold, all covered up in soap suds with mops of wet hair. Steve dutifully washes the shampoo from Bucky’s locks as you lean your head on his shoulder, patiently waiting your turn. They start getting into a powwow about whose turn it is to do the laundry next and you space out, smiling into the mass of bubbles when you feel Steve’s fingers spitefully leave Bucky’s hair and go to yours.  

You know he’s stubborn. Steve is too. And so are you.

It doesn’t really bother you when Bucky gets into one of his moods, because you know he’ll always come back. It doesn’t bother you either when Steve’s impulsive on missions because he always comes back too. They both know that they must… simply because you’re home expecting them. Unless they’re acting dangerously- which, they’ve promised that they’d stop- you give them all your trust, just like you’ve given them your heart.

You have the rest of your life with them to figure the remainder of it out.

It sinks in, like the soap and bubbles, like the perfume of the shower gel and the gentle motions of Steve’s hands on your body. It sinks in that for the rest of your life, you’ll have them, both of them. No matter where your paths take you, you’ll be walking hand-in-hand with two perfect Soulmates by your side.

In the background, Bucky and Steve nag and jab each other with their sarcastic taunts and jibes of past embarrassments. There’s name calling and noogies, pinching, and snapping of teeth against fingers. Bucky blows bubbles in Steve’s face. Steve flicks droplets in Bucky’s eyes.

You lean forward against the edge of the porcelain tub, draping yourself over it and grin at them.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” Steve asks, quieting the chatter and rubs his hand against your spine.

The look you give him melts him on the spot. There’s an unfathomable light in your eyes, swimming in something unspeakably loud but necessarily silent. He wants to pull apart the puzzle of it, finding the pieces that you’re keeping to yourself, but something keeps him immobile. Bucky splashes as he leans forward too, intrigued by the look on your face.

Saying nothing, you turn back around, humming a tune and motioning for Steve to continue. You’ll let them contemplate, you think, because eventually they’ll arrive at the same ending that you have. Bucky might take a while longer than Steve, but that’s okay too.

It’s kind of funny that you’d gone through so much of your life fearing love to the point of near madness and physical ailment. It’s so strange to think of how in the span of six months, you’ve transformed into a person so far removed from who you were then.

At 23, you had once rejected love.

But also, at 23, you’ve solved the mystery of love. Its disarray of angst and apprehension that’s long gripped your mind has been untangled by your dutiful hands. It’s Gordian Knot has been completely dissembled, slipping away into the depths along with your fear and anxiety.

You now tread over its strands, blissfully following the trail leading to your lovers’ embrace.  

[heres-harleyyy]

Redemption Ch.4

Pairing - Natasha x reader (F)

Summary - this is the story of how you met the infamous Black widow, but you know her as Natasha. Meeting by pure chance thanks to your ability to teleport, a friendship blooms and turns into something more.

A/N - thank you all for the support you've shown towards this so far it means a lot to me :)

Warnings - None

.Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five // Chapter six // Chapter seven // Chapter Eight //

---

You felt weightless. Floating in the darkness, the echo of the gunshot still rang in your ears. In some way, you were glad, that your life had come to an end by her hand. Strange you know but over the course of the five years you'd spent sneaking off to see her you had fallen in love with her. Had she not been trapped in that place of death, maybe one day you would have asked her out and started dating hell even one day in the future built a life together.

Yet, it was all just a teenage dream.

"Y/N!" A male voice called out to you in the darkness. It sounded familiar but so far away. Struggle with the darkness you tried to fight its cold grip. "Y/N!" The voice called again closer, were you really dead? Was this some god calling for you to go to the light? "Jesus, Y/N please wake up!"

A groan passed by your lips as you fought your heavy eyelids. The blistering light stabbing through your skull sending a shockwave of pain through your body. The blurred outline of a boy hovered above you.

"Y/N focus on me, what happened?" The blur asked, taking all your concentration you force your self to focus on him. Blinking twice he slowly comes into focus...

Clint.

Your eyes begin to burn as tears began to build. Reaching out you grab on to him before burying your face in his chest. Your face screams in pain at the contact of his chest, letting out a cry of pain and the heartache you felt.

"Hey.. hey, it's okay. You're okay." He says rubbing your back reassuring you. You'd met Clint when you started High School and quickly became best friends. His father was ex-military and when returning home he had turned to the drink much like your mother, you both bonded over that fact. Three months ago he clicked on to the fact you were slightly more tired than usual as well as somewhat more happier. You trusted Clint with your life and with that you told him about your ability to jump.

At first, he laughed saying you were talking a bunch of crap, but you smiled and jumped behind him calling his bluff and had the last laugh. After that, he offered to help you gain better control of your gift and test its limits. Eventually, you told him about Natalia. You never mentioned her name or that she was in some secret facility in Russia, only that she was a friend. Clint instantly saw through your white lie and knew she was more than a friend to you.

"Y/N what happened?" Clint asked slowly pushing you back to get a better look at your face.

"They found out about us," you sniffed bringing your hand up to whip away the tears. Wincing slightly as you do.

"Right come on we gotta get you to the hospital. You've been gone for three days." He says helping you up, you don't fight him. Truth be told you don't know if you have any fight left in you. He helps you into the house and sits you down at the kitchen table as he runs upstairs to call his older brother Barney to give you both a lift. Barney took one look at you before practically carrying you to his car. Thankfully he never asked any questions, he knew that you weren't the typical girl when it came down to it and figured what had happened was a result of that.

Once at the hospital Clint never left your side, Barney went downstairs to try and phone your mom but had no luck. Three x rays later you were diagnosed with a mild concussion, fractured right eye socket, cracked jaw, a suspected dent in your skull next to your left temple and two broken ribs as well as severe bruising. They decided it would be best to keep you in overnight as well as call in the police as it was required for anyone under the age of 18.

Thankfully Clint never left throughout of it and answered some of the questions for you as were still in shock over the whole ordeal.

"Is she okay?" He asked once the police left. You look over at him, he was slouched over in the chair in what seemed to be an uncomfortable position.

"I don't know." You whispered, looking down at your hands. Since Clint found you, she never crossed your mind. God.. what if they have done something to her when you jumped back? What if they were interrogating her like they had with you? Or worse?

"Hey hey! Y/N breath!" Clint said leaning forward grabbing your hand, you look back at him. He gives you a gentle smile and squeezes your hand. "Give it a few days and you can go see her again?"

"Yeah," you sigh squeezes his hand back, "Thank you for this Clint."

"Any time," he chuckles before sitting back in his chair. "You still wanting to come with me this summer?"

"I'm not sure.." you sigh again sitting back into the large pillows keeping you upright. Both you and Clint had saved up on money for some fake IDs. You both weren't academic students and both wanted to join the army. Both your mothers wouldn't let you join before you turned eighteen and neither of you wanted to wait another three years. So you's had decided to try your luck and see if you both could get in earlier. "What about Laura?"

"Oh, she doesn't think we'll get in," he chuckles smiling at the thought of his girlfriend.

"She does have a point, we could end up in jail." You giggle smiling at him.

"Yeah well, nothing ventured is nothing gained." He grins setting his feet up on the bed. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Touché Barton, touché."

---

A week had passed before you were finally discharged from the hospital. Your mother visited twice both times being far too hungover to spend any time with you, however, Clint stopped by every day after school bringing you what homework you had for that day and doing it with you.

After a few hours, your mother came home with taking out and another bottle of her favourite alcohol. Picking at your food for a while you told your mom you were going to bed, she slurred a response at you before taking another drink. You ran up to your room locking the door, you draw your curtains closed and take a shaky breath.

You hadn't jumped in a week and quite frankly you were scared that this time you may not be able to. Taking another deep breath you steady your nerves and close your eyes picturing one thing. Natalia.

The warm sensation began to build up in your core, within a few seconds you feel yourself jump. Opening your eyes you see you're back in the room where you first met. However this time there's a smaller blonde girl in front of you.

Her eyes go wide recoiling back in the bed in fear at your sudden appearance. Quickly you shush here raising your hands slightly.

"I mean you no harm, do you know where Natalia is?" You say quickly in Russian. The blonde suddenly looked at you confused.

"You know Natalia?" She askes slowly stepping out the bed.

"Yes, she's my friend." You reply, trying to read the girl.

"Your the one who she had to kill. How are you alive?" You see her piece together the events that happen the week prior.

"Its a long story, but I really need to see Natalia." You reply stepping closer to the blonde. She gives you a look of pity.

"They took her." She sighs looking down, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Took her where?" You ask panic beginning to bloom in your chest.

"To graduation." She whispers a look of discomfort and disgust washing over her.

"Take me to her." As you say it, the blonde looks up at you in disbelief. "Please." The blonde stares at you, trying to get a read on you.

"Fine," she sighs out. " But if they catch us I don't know you and will kill you."

You couldn't help but laugh at her response, she raises a brow to you questioning your reaction before waking round you to the hall.

"Thank you! I owe you one." You say catching up to her.

"Don't thank me yet." She mumbles checking the other hallways making sure they're clear.

"What's your name?" You ask her after a few minutes of silence.

"Yelena," she replies coming to a stop outside a white door. "I know who you are, Natalia spoke of you from time to time. She's the only one in there."

"Thank you Yelena," you say reaching for the door handle. Before you can turn it, she grabs your wrist, you stop to look at her questioningly.

"Be careful Y/N, the procedure takes something away from all that undergo it. She may not be the person you once knew." Her eyes bore into your own. You swallow the lump the had appeared in your throat before nodding. Slowly opening the door and going inside.

The room was dull, despite the florescent lights above bearly lighting the room, it gave off an unnatural coldness, it reminded you of the hospital room you had left a few hours prior. Taking a step into the room you notice one bed at the back of the room with the curtains drawn around it. Again you swallow the lump in your throat taking another deep breath, walking towards the curtain.

You pause for a second before drawing it back, revealing her. She looked broken. Her left eye held the ghost of a bruise you remember her having, her lip had a small cut on it you couldn't remember if it was there before. Emerald eyes met Y/E/C.

"Natalia." You breathe out, rushing towards her clapping down by the side of her bed reaching out for her hand. She looks back at you, shock painting her face.

"You're alive." She breaths out in disbelief, slowly reaching out to caress the right side of your face, you wince slightly but lean into her touch.

"It's gonna take more than a Russian beating to kill me." You laugh leaning up placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I thought I killed you," she chocks out, you pull back and study her face. Grief and guilt pouring off of her tears beginning to stream from emerald pools.

"Shh, it's okay you didn't." You say slowly climbing into the side of the bed to hug her. She turns into your arms and cries into your chest. All you could do was comfort her and kissing the top of her. "Hey look at me..."

Slowly she looks up at you, you push a few strands of hair from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. You ghost your fingers down the side of her jaw coming to settle at her chin. You slowly pull her closer to you as you lean down meeting her halfway. Your lips met, you can taste the salt from her tears it almost causes tears of your own to fall. Suddenly she pulls away, taking in a sharp breath through her teeth. Your eyes fly open to see her face twisted in pain.

"You okay?" You asked running your eyes over her. Her hand caressing her lower stomach, she nods slowly. Yelena's words slowly came back to you... 'graduation'. "What did they do to you?"

"Made me a monster." She whispers pulling away from you. You didn't understand.

"Nat," you whisper reaching out for her. She flinches away from you, your heart sank again. Shock began to corse through your veins again. It didn't take much for you to figure out what happened. How could these people do something like this? It was and is barbaric.

"Leave." Natalia breaths wrapping her arms around herself.

"Wha-"

"Leave Y/N!" She yells, turning pushing you off the bed. She struck so fast you had no time to brace your self, landing on the floor, you stare up at her in disbelief. "Don't come back."

"What?" You breathe out in confusion. Slowly getting to your feet. Eyes locked to hers. She takes a steadying breath.

"Leave and never come back." She says in a dead plan voice. Her eyes now held no emotion, it was like you were looking at a stranger.

"You don't mean that. You can't!" You say reaching out for her hand which she snaps away.

"This was never going to work. Go back home and live a normal life." She starts, your eyes sting with tears, you allow them to fall freely. "Never come back to me. I don't want to see you ever again."

"Nat..." you breath out, trying to get your tears under control. "Don't do this. We can leave now together!"

"No Y/N. You need to leave. I now have a job to do." She says plainly, looking away from you. You look at her, bearly being able to keep the tears back. Silently begging her to look at you, to change her mind. But she never did. You let out a small sob before taking a deep breath. Turning around you head towards the curtain to leave before you jumped away forever. You look down before you do. The glint if silver on your chest catches your eye.

You spin around, taking the silver item from around your neck holding it in your hand for a second. Your fathers dog-tags had been your only connection to him and you wore them all the time. On one of your visits, Natalia had seen them and taken a liking to them, saying they were special knowing that you had a piece of him with you all the time. Taking a step forward you place them on the end of her bed. She doesn't respond, but you know she's watching you.

"Others say he was a monster, my mom said he was a hero. I never knew him so I can't say for certain what he was. But I know you, Natalia. You are not a monster. Just remember that and be safe." You say slowing moving to the edge of the curtain giving her one last chance to look at you before you go but she doesn't turn.

Letting out another sigh you close your eyes and jumped. You open your eyes when you feel the rain against your skin, looking up into the dark sky you fall to your knees, letting out all the pain you felt out. It felt like hours but eventually, you stopped crying and even letting out a sob was too much, you felt something snap inside you. The world around becoming distant, the happiness you once held dear gone. The pain and grief for losing Natalia were also gone. You were an empty shell with only one purpose now.

Getting up you close your eyes and jump one more time.

"Y/N! Jesus!" Clint cried out at your sudden appearance, he was in the middle of packing a bag. "What's up?"

"I'm in."

[sourwolfstories]

Hey! Can you rec some sterek university AUs pls? Thanks you!

Oh boy… okay so this is one of my favorite tropes and I have a crap ton of these. I couldn’t fit all of my faves on here (well i could have but it would have taken forever and the list would have been HUGE) but here are several for you to enjoy!! :)

No Homo by orphan_account

Stiles’ sophomore year starts something like this:3 FourLokos+ 1 peer-pressuring cat- 1 best bro to end all best bros= 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads “str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic”.Derek is the fool who replies.

It Started With A Whisper by allyasavedtheday, warmth

“I’m Stiles, by the way. In case you did, you know, need something, cause Librarian is kind of an old lady term and… yeah. So, Stiles. S-T-I-L-E-S, like that one dude in that band from the UK.”

Or the one where Derek and Stiles are both in college, Stiles is the school’s librarian, and Derek is just trying to study.

The Company I Keep by secondstar

Stiles has a favorite table at the library. Then some asshole comes along and steals it from him.

Maybe by MellytheHun

Tumblr Prompt:

my fave overheard on campus moment of all time was the two guys who sat behind me in pop culture theory

as class was starting one of them was like “so… do you want a blowjob after this” in a rly bored voice, and then the second guy was like [pause][dejected sigh] “yes”

Not Mine to Love by Sabeley

It should have been awkward then, as the haze of lust left them, but Derek really didn’t mind the fact that Stiles was collapsed on his chest, breathing heavily. He didn’t care that he was naked in his roommate’s bed, coming down from the best orgasm he had ever had. He didn’t even care that he had just lost his virginity to someone who wasn’t Jennifer.

“That can’t happen again,” he said simply.

It happened twice more that night and it never really stopped.

The Hunt by HenryMercury

Stiles wakes up with a hangover and the phone number of the most attractive (and the frowniest) guy he’s ever encountered.

…Who also happens to be the front-man for the band Scott’s just joined.

Pushed to the Limit by kittylovessterek (kitty_fic)

Watching Stiles get ready to go out is torture. The universe is obviously testing him. There’s only so much temptation one werewolf can take.

I Keep On Fallin’ by xKookiesandCreamx

Ow fuck!“

Stiles sprung up out of his slumber, dazedly looking around for the cause of his roommate’s pained sounding exclamation.

He got his answer when he flicked his desktop lamp on and looked to see Derek sprawled in a graceless heap on the floor by Stiles’s bed.

~~~

Or a little college au ficlet in which a middle of the night accident actually turns out to be a not so bad thing after all.

Hot Nerd Alert by alisvolatpropiis

Derek can’t believe he’s actually doing this: taking a selfie snap of the guy he’s been crushing on for weeks to prove to Danny that one, yes, he really does exist, and two, he really is that hot and thus he is totally justified in being too scared to make a move.

Or you know, even talk to the guy outside of the class they share.

In his defense, this isn’t just any guy. This THE guy. Hot Nerd. The utterly adorable but still somehow insanely sexy freshman in his twentieth century American Lit class who he’s been lusting over since the first day of the semester. If there were ever a time for him to be that person who tries to be subtle while taking snaps of other people, this is it.

Love Comes in Spurts by talktowater

Stiles has always had sort of a hero worship thing going on with Scott’s step-brother Derek so moving into a house with him freshman year was basically fulfilling a childhood fantasy. Discovering how Derek was putting himself through college, well that was a whole other fantasy that Stiles didn’t even know he had.

Your First by Simone (fvckyourfandoms)

It’s Stiles freshman year of college and he decides to rush a fraternity. He becomes Vice President Derek Hale’s favorite pledge and they end up much closer than expected.

or

A story in which Derek can’t keep his hands off of Stiles’ sweet, irresistible, virgin ass and fails at not feeling him up.

A Comprehensive Study in Getting a Boyfriend via Persuasive Essay-Writing by Luddleston

Stiles is a junior Journalism major who takes Rhetorical Strategies because it covers his English requirement. He’s also trying to be subtle about the way he keeps checking out his professor.

Derek is a grad student teaching his first class ever. He also has the most annoying student on the face of the planet, and is done reading essays about the history of male circumcision.

Flirty e-mails are exchanged, Stiles spends way too much time in Derek’s office, and they fall in love over a mutual hatred for APA formatting.

take two and hit to right by gottalovev

Stiles enjoys ogling the very handsome shortstop of the varsity team while in class. One day, when he cannot have the seat he prefers to watch the baseball diamond, he starts a conversation on his desk (including cartoon characters and eventually sharing secrets).

Unfortunately, Stiles’ first meeting with the hot shortstop - crowd darling Derek Hale - doesn’t go well. When Hale turns out to be Stiles’ desk pen pal, will they be able to move past first impressions?

If You Wanna Be My Roomie (Lover) by xKookiesandCreamx

Realistically, Stiles knew that the local University’s popularity and commonality meant that many members of his graduating high school class would be starting the Fall 2016 semester alongside him, but he never expected his longtime crush to be one of them. Even more so, he never expected said crush to be assigned as his roommate…oh boy.

Just to See You Again by MellytheHun

A sterek college!AU where writing student Stiles specializes in love letters, runs a blog about it and can be commissioned to write love letters on behalf of lovers who are at a loss for words.

He makes some cash, he’s good at what he does (especially when he gets to be a little more explicit in his letters), it pays for his textbooks and that’s all he’s really looking for and life is fine. That is, until someone anonymously commissions him to write a love letter to mathematics student, Derek Hale.

It’s Happening by isthatbloodonhisshirt

Derek stopped listening to him, brain going a mile a minute.

Derek, it’s fucking happening!Derek, please!

He would recognize that fucking voice anywhere.

Two years. Two fucking years had passed, and now this little shit was standing in front of him, speaking his name, and grinning like an idiot.

“It’s you,” Derek said, earning him a confused look from Stiles. “The phone call. Two years ago. It was you.”

Beauty and the Ex by aggybird

Stiles doesn’t want to screw up his chances with Josh, so he does something he may regret: he goes to Derek Hale, Josh’s intimidating ex-boyfriend, for dating advice.

Things don’t go according to plan. But with a little magic (and werewolves) they might go all right.

We’re caught in stone, you know we might not make it by LunaCanisLupus_22

He does this thing then, while Stiles is watching, rolls his left shoulder a little as if he’s adjusting the books in his arms and suddenly Stiles recognises him from the gesture.

“Oh my god,” he cries, dumping his books, bag and coffee into one big mess on the ground and rushing over to them at once.

Or the one where Derek and Stiles are childhood buddies who lost touch and reconnect by chance at college. Only they end up doing a lot more than just reconnecting.

There is a Brotherhood by minusoneday

So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

‘Linski’s Late Night Antidote To Lame by WhoNatural

Where Stiles has his own college radio show, and the mysterious, faceless Derek is his number one fan.

Also there’s this really hot guy he keeps meeting in the library who totally hates his guts.

Inside This Place Is Warm by wolfcloaks

Coming down; One love, two mouths

Stiles Stilinski:

-Senior at Berkley-Double majoring in Human Biology and Biomedical Engineering-Student Librarian-Closet Artist-Basket case extrodanaire-Hopelessly crushing on Derek Hale (read as: pining)

Derek Hale:

-Grad Student at Berkley-Philosophy Major-Dog enthusiast-Does not cry during The Notebook, fuck you,Laura-Is definitely not pining over the librarian with the cute moles-Would very much like to tell the librarian’s curly haired boyfriend to fuck off

Or

Where Derek and Stiles are complete dweebs in love and jump to horribly inaccurate conclusions

Or

When your meet-cute turns into a bit of an (light) angst fest but it’s all ok in the end

———————

If you want to find more college/university goodness you can check out my tag for it here

[petri808]

The Wishing Well

Whew, I made it lol.  This is my story for the awesome @nalufever for the Nalu server’s secret Valentine’s Exchange.  LoL we had each other!  Omg, I hope you like it, I was trying to come up with a story around the idea we once talked about.  It ended up being a fluffy short story lol.  Okie here we go.

“Miss Lucy!” the little girl waves her hand excitedly from across the room.  “Miss, Miss, Miss!”

“Yes, Wendy?” the teacher’s aide walks up to the table and kneels, “are you finished with your drawing?” Nodding her head with a small blush upon her cheeks, the child holds her drawing up for Lucy to see.  “That’s wonderful Wendy!  Is that your cat?  But why is it blue?”

Wendy smiles wide, “name’s Happy!  Don’ know why he blue tho but it’s cute!”

“Yes,” Lucy chuckles, eyes brimming with delight, “he’s very cute!”  

Content with the response, Wendy goes back to doodling a new cartoon while the teachers aid floats around the room checking on other students.  Lucy loved this part time job even though it wasn’t quite in the field she was studying for, the credit still counted, the pay was decent, and not to mention the students were adorable most of the time.  Of course, there were a few that could be a handful, but nothing the bubbly 22 yr old blonde couldn’t handle and besides, the teacher Mirajane was also a blessing to work with.

Storytime was probably Lucy’s favorite part of the day.  Books had always been her sanctum even from a young age and to impart that same love into these children was like paying it forward for the new generation.  They would gather round her with their snacks, the eager little faces and once a week she even delighted them with original little stories she would create just for them.  Filled with characters like Princesses and Dragons, of mythical elves and other magical creatures, even using their names mixed in to make it come alive for the awestruck youngsters.

Lucy smiles from her desk, this school year was shaping up to be a great one.

Across town at Magnolia University, a young man hurries out of class.  Checking his phone, he’s got 30 minutes to get to the primary school and pick up his sister, but traffic is often a pain at this hour.  His sister-in-law Mavis usually picked Wendy up but today she had an appointment leaving Natsu to rush.  It’s been a struggle for the 24-year-old, being thrust into the role of guardian at the age of 20, to drop out of college and take time off to raise a 2-year-old.  Not that it mattered, there was no way he was going to allow Wendy to be sent to a foster home after their parents died.  It wasn’t her fault tragedy struck and left her an orphan, so he was going to lavish that little girl with all the love and affection their parents would have given her.

He thrums his fingers on the steering wheel, as the car slowly crawled its way towards the front of the school.  The line of parents patiently waiting to pick up kids was pretty typical, however annoying it may be, but a requirement for the students in kindergarten and first grades for release at the end of the day.  Teachers and security waited with the children, handing them off as each car pulled up.  Natsu smiles when he finally sees the tell-tale blue hair of Wendy bouncing as she waves to him.

“How was your day at school Wendy?” popping the question as the first grader buckled herself in to her booster.  

With a click and a bubbly response, “lots’a fun!  We drew and Ms. Lucy read us a story!  Ms. Lucy always has awesomest stories to tell!  Yuck, then Mrs. Dreyar gave us reading to do.”  

Natsu chuckles, side-eying through the rearview, “What’s with the pouty face?  I thought you like reading?”

“Not for homework.  I wanna read for fun!”

That only makes him laugh harder, “tell ya what, how about we get some ice cream at the mall, then I’ll read with you, sound better?”

Wendy’s face lights up, “Yay!  Ice Cream!”

“Kozmic Cones it is!”

On the opposite side of the mall nestled near the food court, Faeries Café was a popular little hangout.  Good food that even a college kid could afford drew them in at all hours of the day. Lucy was no exception and today was her weekly meet up with her best friend Levy McGarden for coffee.  It had become a routine ever since they’d finished their undergraduate programs and moved on to graduate work, she in the field of English Lit while Levy focused on Ancient Linguistics.  Between classes and working jobs they rarely had much time anymore to hang out.  

“How are things going with Gajeel,” the blonde stirred at the slowly warming coffee, “did you guys pick a date for the wedding yet?”

“He said not until after I graduate, which is only one more semester, so I agreed.”

Lucy leans onto her propped hand with a light smile, “You’re so lucky you found someone already Lev, I’m really happy for you two.”

“Aww, Lu you’ll find someone,” the bluenette reaches over the table and grabs her friend’s free hand, squeezing it before retracting back into her seat, “and I bet it’ll happen when you least expect it to.”

But the blonde just sighs, “Doubt it, I’m so busy I don’t have time to meet anyone unless they are under the age of 7,” chuckling lightly, “and no one in my college classes are very interesting to me.”

“You haven’t dated anyone since him that I can recall.”  Levy taps her chin, “maybe it’s not that you can’t but won’t look at anyone else.”

“What are you my psychiatrist now?!”  teasing at her friend.  “I’m fine, really, not like I don’t have enough on my plate to deal with, right? And as for my ex,” Lucy shrugs her shoulders, “we lost touch in college…”

The girls spend about an hour chatting and catching up, planning that upcoming weekend when another friend will be dropping by town.  Cana Alberona was never one to stay still for very long but luckily her job in fashion fit her personality well, jet setting around to photograph models and actors for Sorcerer’s Magazine.  She was so different in personality from the other two girls and yet the trio were inseparable in high school.  It wasn’t really their thing, but for Cana, hitting a bar or club was definitely going to be on the agenda.

Which was fine, she guessed, nothing wrong with hanging out with a couple of girlfriends at a bar.  Hopefully no one bothers us….  Ugh, but some guy always does!  As she walked away from the café, Lucy hangs her head wondering if her love life would always be a struggle.  She was sick and tired of even trying to meet guys when it usually turned out they only wanted her, sighing, for my assets….  It wasn’t her fault she was born with these curves, even thought about getting a reduction one day just so she didn’t have to deal with them anymore.  

There had only been one serious relationship in her life and while the guy definitely loved her body, Lucy knew it wasn’t the reason he’d asked her out in the first place.  Back then surrounded by so many friends, she’d never cared much about having boyfriends or being in relationships but funny how things change and now 5 years later, it was kind of lonely.  

She sees the wishing well a few feet away, absent mindedly pulling out a coin as she walked towards it. It was such a silly thing to make a wish and throw away a perfectly good quarter but well, flicking the shiny metal into the water, what could it hurt, right?  To have someone like him back in her life again, maybe the false smiles she wore would finally be real.

“Ms. LUCY!!!”

“Wendy?”  The young blonde turns around to the voice of her student, semi-surprised though this was a mall and all, just in time to have the little girl hugging to her legs.  “Wendy, what a nice surprise to see you here!” Lucy hugs the girl back, “but who are you with sweetie?”

The little girl, with eyes practically shining, bounces on her feet pointing behind her, “my brother gots me ice cream.”

“Your broth…” As she follows Wendy finger, Lucy cannot believe what she’s seeing.  “N-Natsu!” a light gasp as her hands fly up to her mouth and moisture clouds her vision.  “Oh my god! I-Is it really you?”  

Sporting the trade mark goofy grin that she knew better than most plastered on his face, “Yeah it’s me, heya Lucy,” scratching his head, “Didn’t realize you were the teacher she always talks about.  How ya been?”

Tears trickle down her cheeks and before she can stop them, her feet carry her towards him, hands flying into fists.  In that moment Lucy’s surroundings fade away and all she can see is Natsu, standing there in the flesh.  No Wendy, no shoppers, just him.  “Why!?” She beats at his chest, “no calls, no texts, no goodbye!  Four years! Y-you just left me hanging how could you Natsu!”  

“Luce…” he had no idea what he could say to the sobbing woman in his arms to slow her tears, grabbing her hands to stop their fury but keeping them held tightly to his chest. She was right, everything she said was the truth.  Natsu was an asshole for not making the effort to contact her as soon as he could, and he knew that.  So, he did the only thing he could and held her quietly, whispering soft apologizes and hoping it would be enough to soothe the pain he never knew she had held onto.        

Eventually Lucy slumps against him, liquid still flowing but her sobs withering into lighter exhalations. “I’m sorry,” her voice strained and muffled, “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”

“No,” Natsu pulls her head against his shoulder, cradling the back of her head, “don’t be sorry, I should have reached out to you too it’s just that…”

“I know about your parents….  I ran into Gray a couple years ago and he told me that’s what happened.”  Lucy pushes away just enough to look up at the taller man. “Natsu I would have been there for you if you’d have let me, you didn’t have to do it all alone.”

“I know Luce…. We…”

A meek voice breaks through the din, “I-Is Ms. Lucy okay?”

“Oh my!” Lucy pushes away and drops to her knees beside the little girl, followed quickly by the elder brother.  Still wiping away the streaks of salty liquid, Lucy takes the child’s hand, “I’m so sorry you had to see that Wendy.  I’m okay really, I am I promise.  We,” glancing to Natsu who nods, “we went to high school together and haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

The poor child’s face is still sullen and full of worry.  “Are you, are you mad at my brother Ms. Lucy?  Did my brother hurt you?”

“He…”

Natsu put his hand on Lucy’s shoulder, cutting off her response.  Turning to his little sister, “I did, a long time ago when you were still very young, I made Lucy very, very sad.”

“But he didn’t mean to sweetie,” Lucy chimes in trying to comfort the child, “your brother was going through a lot of things and it just happened.”

“So, you really aren’t mad at my brother?”

“No, I’m not,” the woman smiles.  “I rather like your brother a lot.”  Lucy feels the warmth tingling in her cheeks but does her best not to show it.  “He’s, you know like how we learned about the bad guys and the good guys in class?”  The child nods.  “Your brother is one of the good guys.”

That brings a delighted smile back to Wendy’s face.  “I think so too!  He takes really good care of me after mommy and daddy died.”  

“I’m sure he does,” Lucy smiles back.

“Wendy, honey,” Natsu steps in handing out some change to the girl, “would you like to go make some wishes while I finish talking to Ms. Lucy?”  The child looks to her teacher, then back to her brother nodding, taking the change and skipping off to the wishing well.  “What’s the odds that she’d end up in your class?” turning to the girl still crouched, Natsu helps Lucy to her feet, “or running into each other at the mall’s wishing well?”

Lucy shakes her head rather than respond.  Magnolia wasn’t a large city, it was bound to happen sooner or later so there was no point in making it out to be anything more than mere coincidence.  “I-I sh-should probably go so you can get back to Wendy.” Lucy turns away.  “I must look like a mess right now…”  

“You are still just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.”

The blonde stiffens. His words…. His tone… sends an electric shock through her frame.  Tingling along her skin when his hand comes to rest on her shoulder and the heat radiating from his body infringing upon her space.  

“I’m such an idiot for letting you go once.  You must be settled down by now with someone….”

She shakes her head, refusing to turn around, and answering in a soft tone, “there hasn’t really been anyone since you.  No one’s ever treated me…. the way you used to treated me…”

One hand on her shoulder turns into two around her waist.  “I don’t expect you to forgive me Luce, but if it’s any consolation, I still love you, maybe even more now, knowing how much Wendy adores you too.”  Lucy squeezes her eyes shut, willing back the tears again. “Would you give me a second chance?”

“Please say Yes!”  The young man and woman’s heads whip around to see a beaming Wendy practically bouncing.  “Please say yes Ms. Lucy!”

Natsu let go of Lucy’s waist, turning her to face him.  “Well, Ms. Lucy?”  A large grin growing on his face with the thought of buying his sister that new dress she’s been fawning over.  “You wouldn’t want to make your student sad, would you?”

“Gah, you really haven’t changed,” she punches his arm, playfully with a smirk.  “Lucky you,” grabbing his shirt, “I still love that goofier side,” and pulling him down for a kiss….  

[serpentsangel]

Talk Me Down: Part Six

A/N: So sorry this is delayed, I’m currently away and had an extremely long day today (4:00am to 3:00pm) oof. And I also just haven’t been feeling well in terms of motivation and whatnot so writing was hard-hence why this is a shorter chapter than usual. I hope that once I get back home I can get my muse back. So apologies if this is crap

Plot: With Veronica and Betty taking (Y/N) into their group, a new threat arises and Reggie wonders if he can protect her from it until he can 

Words: 2,277

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five

Part Six

(Y/N) yawns as she slowly gathers books and supplies from her locker and places them in her bag and when she goes to close her locker, she’s almost taken aback by the sudden appearance of Veronica and Betty. “You two scared the living hell out of me.” (Y/N) places a hand over her heart and feels the sudden speed of her beat but she laughs it off and adjusts the falling strap of her bag on her shoulder. “What can I help you with?”

“I wanted to say, I accept your apology.” Betty nudges Veronica. “And I’m sorry for not being the least bit understanding towards your attitude. You clearly have been through enough already and the least I can do is to set aside everything and help you through it.”

(Y/N) smiles softly. “You’re not at fault at all. You were already trying to get me accustomed here but it was I who pushed you away and therefore, I’m sorry but I am glad you are accepting my apology and just hope that from this day on, we can hopefully be friends to a degree. Right now the only person I really know is Reggie and hey, there’s just some things only girls can gossip to each other.” The three of them laugh as (Y/N) reaches her hand out and shakes it with Veronica and Betty.

“We saw Cheryl give you a River Vixens uniform and we would love to have you there.” Betty chirps up. “Your moves are killer and I know you have some of your own views about cheerleading, and we don’t mind that, but it’d be nice to…”

“One try won’t hurt.” (Y/N) pops in, opening her locker again, grabbing the uniform and placing it inside her bag.

“That’s great! We’ll see you at practice.” Betty and Veronica wave at (Y/N) as the two of them walk pass her.

(Y/N) turns back to wave them goodbye too before looking forward just to be scared again, this time by Cheryl. “What is it with people here and sneaking up on others? I feel like I’m going to die of a heart attack before I even graduate.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you and your silly sayings. How’s your mother? Haven’t seen her since the Rosewoods Charity Gala.” Cheryl folds her arms elegantly as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Anyways, I’ve come here to see if you’ve thought about my offer. Especially because my girls and I have been training hard to maybe make it to Nationals, and with your talent by my side, I’m sure you and I can lead them there.”

“My mother is…..fine.” (Y/N) mumbles, not really wanting to bring any of her life from the outside into school, as if it isn’t bad enough already to have to go through, why would she want to bring any of that to the one place she can actually feel safe from her mothers wrath? “And I’m coming for one try, I don’t know if this even a thing I want to stick with.”

Cheryl rolls her eyes playfully. “Being a Vixen will change your life, trust me, it changed mine. And please, I’ve been a vixen for as long as I can remember, I’ve been a dancer for longer and I have to say, your talent is unlike anything I have ever seen. Like I said, we could really use someone like you. Stay if you’d like. It’s like poison, sweetheart, try it once and you can’t turn back.” Cheryl swirls and walks down the hallway before being rejoined by her two minions, leaving (Y/N) to stand there in her own thoughts. Maybe she shouldn’t be so afraid to do an extra activity, if she’s going to eventually reach to the hopes of being a normal student then maybe she needs a constant in her school life, and if studying regularly with Reggie is the constant, then maybe coming here isn’t worth it. The constant of studying and learning with one individual only inflicts too much memories of her homeschooled life under the watchful gaze of her mother. Looking down at the uniform in her bag, (Y/N) shoves it to the lowest point, pushing it aside as she heads down to maths.

The class is already starting to fill up and (Y/N) grumbles as she finds some random seat next to a boy she has yet to learn the name of. As she sits down, the boy pauses conversations with his friends and turns his attention to (Y/N). “Hey, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself yet. I’m Chuck.” Chuck extends out a hand to which (Y/N) shakes carefully, going to her books and taking out all the required items for the class. “I don’t want you to think I’m one of those students that looks at you like a circus animal, I just want to welcome you into our school. Not everyone in this school is as mean as they make themselves out to be.”

“That’s somewhat comforting but so far, I’ve only met three decently nice people.” (Y/N) states, not looking at Chuck as she opens her text book and turns to the pages that were required for the class. “And I’m sure there are nice people out there but they aren’t anywhere near me.”

“Consider me the fourth decently nice person.” Chuck smiles, turning his body to face the front of the class. “Students can be tough, especially when you’re as notorious as you are but I look past that. I’m pretty sure you can be as normal as everyone else because we’re all human, right?”

(Y/N) shrugs her shoulders. “I guess so but normality is subjective. Everyone experiences it differently and everyone considers it differently. So, however low or high your standards of normality may be, regardless of the fact that we are all ‘human’, I  could be considered insane and not anywhere near to being normal. You take the pick.” Through class, the two made small talk here and there, mainly just (y/N) feeling not to bothered for that much social interaction so early in the morning. It was towards the end that they realized they also shared a class afterwards and while (y/N) took time to make sure she gathered everything, Chuck waited patiently before the two of them headed out to their next class.

“So, I’m not sure what your interests are but I’m holding a party this week with a few friends and I want to invite you over. Introduce you to some of my pals, show them that you’re just a regular high school student. It’s nothing too serious, not too big, not too crazy, just a couple of friends getting together away from the stress of school.” The two of them walk side by side, trying to avoid bumping into any of the other rushing students.

(Y/N) thinks for a moment to herself. The sound of a party peaking her interest but also the sound of it is horrendous. In her mind, all parties included the same thing, booze, mindless drink games and a hook up, not something she really wants to engage in when people still believe her to be a cannibal and or a spy but then again, if she’s going to try and change peoples minds about her then maybe this isn’t as bad as she is making it out to be. “I’ll think about it. I’ve got a study session with Reggie this Saturday but if it’s Sunday or Friday, I can probably make it but don’t hold me to my words, yet.”

“I won’t.”

**** A new day. New opportunities. New chances. As happy as (Y/N) is that Veronica and Betty accepted her apology, and that she’s met at least one more guy that isn’t Reggie, the horror of lunch time still haunts her as she wonders if she’s high enough in anyones social blade to warrant her the pass to sit with them. It hurts more when you know them and have spoken but you still are enough of a stranger to not be on their table and for the first time in her life, (Y/N) felt the pain of lack of friendship. Just as she is getting ready to sit alone at her usual table, she hears Veronica call her out. (Y/N) looks up and sees her waving her over. (Y/N)’s brain suddenly goes into overdrive as she’s given the window of opportunity but hesitates on acting on it.

Eventually she takes her tray and walks towards the table, not able to shake off the feeling of the entire room staring at her as she sits down next to Betty. “Welcome, (Y/N). I’d like to introduce you to everyone. This is Kevin. You know Veronica, next to her is Archie and I’d introduce you to Jughead but he’s moved schools and is only around here sometimes.” Betty excitedly welcomes (Y/N), who says hello to all the new faces she hasn’t had the chance to meet yet. “So, how are you finding Riverdale High so far?”

“It’s not what I expected to be honest.” (Y/N) pauses to take a bite out of her sandwich as she wipes the corners of her lips of sauce. “I mean, it’s better than being homeschooled because then I can at least do things that any other old teen would do. It’s nice to get out and whatnot. Also, to have activities that aren’t just tending the garden or feeding my mothers pets.” (Y/N) laughs.

“We’re here to make sure that you are given the best high school experience, ever. Betty and I can take you to Vixen’s practice each time, that is if you choose to stay.” Veronica offers. “Kevin is profound in the arts and is aiming to direct a school play one day and Archiekins here is musically talented. There’s also Josie, who is the Mayors daughter, and has a band of her own but they’re a little bit exclusive to their own. This school is a gold mine for you, just make sure you have a sharp eye.” She sighs. “As much as I adore this school for what it is, not every place is perfect and you get bad apples here and there.”

“Especially Cheryl Blossom.” Kevin chimes in. “She’s a walking Black Widow ready to strike. Don’t be fooled by her cherry red smile, she’ll play you like a friend, then when you least expect it, she’ll find a way to tear you down. Especially you.”

(Y/N) raises an eyebrow as she pushes her tray a little forward. “What about me?”

“Cheryl runs on social power. It’s how she manages to keep roaming the halls like she owns the place.” Betty explains. “If someone poses as a threat to that order, then she’ll see them as a target. A threat. People have been curious about you since you arrived and all the attention is towards you and not to mention the fact that you completely dominated the dance floor that one day at Vixens practice, which I must say, was pretty sick.”

“I just don’t get it.” (Y/N) groans. “Why am I so fascinating? What is so great about a girl who was practically locked up in her home most of her life? Its a lot more depressing than fascinating.”

“It’s because your family is known in Riverdale’s Elite and when you have that social rank but is never seen, it’s going to get people curious and talking and the rumours start.” Kevin states. “And trust me people do talk, half of which is ridiculous if you have any ounce of a sensible brain.”

“Whatever it is, there’s nothing Cheryl can do that can tear me down. I’ve built enough of an exterior, itd be tough to break it down enough for me to be a social mess. And besides, how bad can she get?”

**** At the end of school, Veronica and Betty waited for (Y/N) as she tried on the Vixens uniform, once she manages to get it on, she walks out and both girls look at her happily. “You look like a natural, my friend. Now, are you ready to rock it out there?” (Y/N) nods as she follows the girls to the outside field, right by where the football team were practicing. Cheryl is still busy setting up as (y/N) joins one of the other Vixens in stretching.

In the distance, Reggie approaches the field with his helmet, seeing Chuck wave over at someone with a big smile on his face. Curious, Reggie follows the direction and sees him waving at (Y/N) and he couldn’t tell what shocked him more, the fact that (Y/N) is in a Vixen’s uniform even after she said she wasn’t going to, or the fact that he just spotted Chuck creepily waving at her and (Y/N) acknowledging him back. “Whatever it is that you’re planning to do, you better get the idea out of your head, Chuck or I will ruin you.”

Chuck scoffs. “Please, not all of us are sleaze’s Reg. She’s coming to my party.” He smirks. “Try to stop me then.” He places his helmet on as he runs off to join his mates, Reggie clutching his helmet tightly as he looks back at (Y/N) staring at her momentarily before sighing, the least he can do is protect her from the other dirt that threatens the wound, at least until he’s the one to open it.

TAGLIST: @serpent-squad @daddyxpea @notanotherfangirl @superhalsteads @abbigail-583 @static-heart-break @thesouthside-princess @idontknowhatiwant168393 @djdre92 @maryosprinkle @jimmys-afterlife-love @sarasmismyonlydefence@ccshbh @sweetpeaprompts @fantasiasvt @flannels-and-fire @xeniarocks​

Want to be added to the taglist? Just message me and I’ll add you into the next chapter!

[alexismav-blog]

Merry Christmas

Author’s Note: Hello, this actually the first time I’ve posted my writing on Tumblr so please be kind. The characters in this short story are my own characters and this was just intended to be a short story to fill the prompt. I specifically chose cold night/no heater, “He’s not worth your tears”, and blankets for my prompt. This an entry for @justsomewritingprompts Writing Prompt Challenge so please enjoy! One final note italics are Emeric’s texts and bold represents Alec’s texts.

As Alec sat in the living room of an apartment he hasn’t been in for months drinking rum alone on Christmas Eve, he wondered what he had done to God to land himself in this position. My parents probably would have told me that when their son decided to sleep with men was the moment God condemned me, he thought after the first few glasses.

Alec heard his phone vibrate on the coffee table. He got up from where he was sitting on the couch taking the bottle of rum with him to see what was sent to him. He sees a few unread messages from his sister and uncle, and a couple from his friends wishing him a merry Christmas. At the top were a few messages from Emeric. The first few messages were a couple of pictures of Emeric and all their friends in their stupid Christmas sweaters with a tall man he presumed to be Alaric glaring in the background. A couple of the messages were videos of Wes’s drunken political rants. The messages looked to be from a couple of hours ago.

It’s only been two hours and Wes is completely wasted. I think that’s a record, the text under it read.

Are you honestly surprised? I’m guessing Josiah already tried to cut him off?

Yeah but he somehow managed to find more. I swear he’s a walking liquor store during the holidays.  

Alec laughed a bit at the reply.

As he started his rant about capitalism yet?

No he didn’t quite make it there, Josiah made sure to take him home before he got that far. How’s your Christmas going?

Alec looked over at the empty bottles of liquor lining the kitchen counter.

It’s alright.

You sure you can’t swing by tonight? The invitation is still open, no Christmas sweater required. You can even bring your fiancé if you want.

The thought of seeing all of them is so tempting. After all, Emeric is only next door but Alec took a good look at how terrible he looked and how much Emeric and all their friends were smiling in those pictures and he decided against it. He wouldn’t want to bother Emeric with his petty issues.

No, It’s ok. I’ll probably swing by after New Year’s.

You sure?

Yeah, Merry Christmas.

Happy Christmas. Just let me know if you change your mind.

He plugged his phone to charge in the kitchen. He then walked back over from the kitchen and flopped onto the couch to get in a comfortable position as the aging sofa groaned in protest. By this point, he probably looked like a proper mess, his normally neatly combed blonde hair was rumpled and knotted beyond repair, his caramel brown eyes were bloodshot from crying, and his suit was wrinkled and his tie went missing sometime during the evening. He leaned over to grab off the coffee table the ring his now ex-fiancé gave back to him at dinner that evening as he wondered what went wrong.

Was he gone too often?  Was he too cold and distant? Did Thomas think that he wasn’t serious enough about their relationship? Did he ever make Thomas feel trapped and overwhelmed? Alec couldn’t help but to be bitter about the sacrifices he had made for a one-sided relationship. He changed his friends. He moved out of his own apartment after graduating college so they would be closer without Thomas having a longer commute. Alec started working significantly less so he could be home more. He stopped going out without Thomas. Alec took care of the bills, the apartment, food, and anything else that happened to pop up. He did everything for a jealous ass who Alec came to find out had been cheating on him for most of their relationship.

He could no longer bear to look at the reminder of his failed relationship so he weakly tossed the ring out of sight and curled up into fetal position facing the cushions of the headrests. He attempted to fall asleep to the white noise of the heater whirring. As he resigned himself to yet another sleepless night, the whir of the heater stopped dead.

“Of course,” he grumbled.

He honestly shouldn’t have been surprised that the ancient heater broke down but it didn’t stop him from being a bit peeved. He refused to get up until it was so cold that he couldn’t stop shaking. He flipped over onto his stomach and placed his hands flat on the couch and pushed up in attempt to get up. Unfortunately, he got up a bit too fast causing him to become a bit dizzy and disoriented. He moved to steady himself of the armrest when his hands slipped causing him to lose his balance and tumble off the sofa nicking the coffee table before crashing onto the floor with a loud thud.

*******************************************************************************************

Emeric’s Christmas Eve was a fairly standard affair for the first time since he moved away from his friends in England. While his parents were unable to join him, his older brother and a couple of close friends were able to come. As per usual, by 10 in the evening Emeric’s friend Wes was already blackout drunk forcing Josiah to take him home before Wes hurt himself. Emeric, his older brother, and his sister-in-law were seated at the dining room table simply talking. To be more specific, grilling Emeric about his non-existent love life while Emeric checked his phone to see how his friend, Alec, was doing.

“Emeric, it’s been two years since you’ve even attempted a relationship. That’s completely unlike you,” Tsuna sighed.

“Tsuna, how many times have I told you that I’m fine. I just moved to America less than a year ago. I can’t even take time to adjust to a new country?”

“Little brother of mine, you and I both know that that is complete and utter bullshit. If I can remember correctly, it only took you about two months to find a serious boyfriend when mom and dad sent you to boarding school in England,” Alaric interjected

“So?”

Alaric raises his eyebrow, “You could only speak German.”

“I didn’t invite you here to be lectured about my life choices.”

“You make me wear a stupid sweater, I get to be nosy. It's a fair deal. Seriously though , I haven’t seen you single this long since you were pining for Grace - No,” Alaric smirked, “You like someone don’t you?”

“No, no I don’t.” Emeric’s phone went off.

“Emeric, who are you texting?” Alaric teased

“No one,” he sighed, “Excuse me for a second”

Emeric walked over to the kitchen alone to read the reply from Alec. He attempted to convince him to come over. When Alec declined, he left the invitation open but respectfully backed off. Emeric turned around after wishing him a Happy Christmas to see Alaric looking over his shoulder.

“Who’s Alec, Emeric? Judging by his contact photo, he looks awfully young for you. Pining for a student of yours are you?” Alaric quipped.

Emeric rolled his eyes, “Alec is a co-worker of mine, I met him when I was still a TA and he was a grad student, he’s not that young. Not that it matters because he is just a friend.”

“But you admit that you like him?” Alaric pales. “He isn’t straight, is he? ‘Cause if he is I’m really sorry about talking about it. ”

“That’s not the problem, He’s engaged ” Emeric glares, “He’s engaged to someone he cares for quite dearly and I’m not going to mess that up for him.”

“So you’re not going to try anything are you? Please don’t tell me you’re still hanging around him?”

“His wedding is next month,” Emeric sighed, “I’m going to be there to support him like I’ve always have.”

“Please tell me, you’re not going,” Alaric pleads.

“Kinda hard to skip the wedding, if you’re the best man.”

“Em-,” 

Emeric cuts him off, “It’s fine, no matter what he’s still my friend first. If he’s happy, that’s good enough. I’ll move on eventually,” his voice trembles, “Just please go. I’ll see you on New Years.”

Alaric and Tsuna both quickly left the awkward situation, leaving Emeric by himself in his apartment. Emeric left the kitchen to grab his laptop from his room to drown his sorrows in Netflix. Just as he was about to queue up the first movie, the sound of the heater stops.  

Emeric groaned but eventually raided his apartment for every blanket he could find and cuddled up on the couch. Just as Emeric was finally going to start the movie, he heard a loud crash coming from Alec’s apartment. As soon as Emeric realized where the sound was coming from, he bolted out of his apartment to rush to see if Alec was okay.

*******************************************************************************************

As Alec made an effort to get himself up, he felt a dull throbbing pain spread from where the left side of his body made contact with the coffee table. Just as he was able to get back on his feet and started walking towards his cell phone on the kitchen counter, there was a knock on the door.

He opened the door to see Emeric, ugly Christmas sweater and all, standing in the doorway with his black hair ruffled and green eyes filled with concern.

“Jesus it’s freezing,” Emeric shivered, “Are you alright? I heard a crash and I wanted to make sure you and your fiancé were ok?”

Only God knows what came over Alec but he just started sobbing. Emeric rushed him back into Alec’s apartment to sit down. They sat on the creaky sofa for what felt like hours as Alec sobbed into his shoulder while Emeric murmured assurances to Alec in attempt to get him to calm down. His tears eventually ebbed down to the point where Alec could actually meet Emeric’s worried green eyes without breaking down.

“I’m sorry,” Alec mumbled, “I’ve just been having a pretty crappy night.”

“It’s ok. Just threw me off that you started crying out of nowhere. Well not out of nowhere,” he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that you’re drunk alone on Christmas instead of with your fiancé?”

Alec looked down as he started fidgeting with his hands, “Ex, he’s my ex-fiancé now.”

Emeric’s face turned paper-white, “I’m so sorry. I feel like a bit of an ass now.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t know. It’s just,” he started rambling, “My douche of an ex just wanted to have ‘a holiday to ourselves’ so I didn’t get to see my sister or uncle when I haven’t seen either of them in well over a year. A-a-and then guess what? He decides to call off our engagement a month, a month, before our wedding because, you guessed it, he’s been cheating on me with his best friend for three years of our four-year relationship and he just wants to ‘move on from this’.”

He could feel himself start to cry again, “I just feel so stupid because I sacrificed everything for him. I gave up my family, my friends, my financial independence because I was dumb enough to think, ‘Well he’s stuck by my side since we were kids surely he would continue to do so’. I did all this to be told sorry, I’ve never actually loved you. Now I’m going to have to explain to everyone that sorry, the wedding’s off because my fiancé is sleeping with his best friend. And of course, of course, when I get back to my apartment which I haven’t been in for months, the heater breaks down on the coldest night of the year and all my blankets and crap are back at his apartment.” He takes a deep breath,” I’m sorry. I know you were with your brother and I’m just wasting what little time you have with him and you don’t want to hear all this depressing stuff on Christmas-“

Emeric grabbed Alec’s hands and cut him off, “It’s not a problem Alec. Even if Alaric was still here, which he isn’t, I would still want you to tell me what’s upsetting you. I would be a terrible friend if I wouldn’t try to help you. Trust me when I say that you have every right to be upset and I’m happier knowing that you’re sharing these problems with me instead of drowning them with a bottle of whiskey. Okay?”

“Ok.”

Emeric let go of Alec’s hands and stood up, “I’ll be right back just give me a minute. He runs quickly out of the apartment.

After a few short minutes and a couple of thuds, Emeric walked in with a large pile of blankets and his laptop precariously balanced on top. Alec moved to stand up to help him.

“No, you just sit down. Give me a second to situate everything.”

Emeric laid out the mountain of blankets on the couch and sat down right beside him. He turned his laptop on and pulled up Netflix.

“Any preferences?” Emeric asked

“Home Alone?”

“I thought so.”

Two movies later and Alec found himself falling asleep curled up against Emeric’s longer build with Emeric’s arm wrapped around Alec.

“Alec,” Emeric whispered.

Alec murmured an acknowledgement as he turned to look up at Emeric.

“I’m really sorry that your Christmas was ruined. The way your ex treated you was absolutely unforgivable. I hope you realize that you didn’t deserve what he did to you. There is far more out there for someone as loyal and kind as you than sleazy, unfaithful men like him. Trust me when I say, he’s not worth your tears.”

Alec hugged him tightly,” Thank you, I don’t think you realize how much I needed that today. Merry Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas.”

The two of them drifted off to sleep cuddled together, the frigid winter night forgotten under the warm pile of blankets.

Final Author’s Note: This is a bit later than when I was planning on posting this but I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

[techtao-blog]

i swear i’ll be alive on this blog someday in the near future