#behold the ultimate dorkiness

[havocinthebluebox]

@oath-of-elix tagged me to post a selfie 💙. Thank you sweetie ! Here is one from the other day, when I felt cute in this outfit.

Tagging @tasha-lemon @coldestcaress @johnnysilvercock @omarandjohnny @misfit-on-a-journey @a-pyre-of-doom @eborane @nekroexstasisvampyria @rotting-deadnight-warrior @scarsoftheshatteredsky @johnnysilvercock if you want to share some selfies ✨.

[paragonrobits]

concept, Sunstone having a much more body horror-themed design

for example, Steven’s skeleton being very visible within Sunstone’s form, the bones constantly warping and changing, stretching out to fit Sunstone’s proportions as if pulled out there and never quite dissolving, but being very close to it.

at the center of Sunstone’s head is Steven’s skull, moving periodically in response to Sunstone’s movements, but the actual timing is JUST off enough to be mildly concerning.

the overall impression is that Steven’s body is a sort of framework and the light projection, turned into living flame, uses his bones as a scaffolding, but Steven’s true essence has been transferred into Sunstone’s projection, to the degree that even his Gem has been moved out from its mount in his guts onto Sunstone, as per canon

additionally, Sunstone’s body is enormously dense; if you touch their ‘skin’, it feels almost liquid and very viscous. the implication THERE is that Sunstone is way smaller than a typical Garnet fusion, especially considering Steven’s power, so they’re not smaller, just massively compressed. they leave deep footprints in concrete and solid metal wherever they go, and they weigh more than some trucks do

Steven’s slightly feral/unhinged mannerisms combine with Garnet’s intensity to give that 90s mascot vibe, though it comes off to other people as genuinely unsettling. when those sunglass/eyes look into you, they’re staring right into your soul and you get the impression they’re making notes and it REALLY freaks humans out

(note that none of this takes away from the ultimate bonding vibe of this particular fusion, of both of them just going hog-wild and being unafraid of feeling embarassed by their respective combined dorkiness. they’re still a goofy 90s mascot to the most EXTREME degree, it just happens to come in a grotesque and frightening package. sunstone is shaped like a friend, and this particular friend is objectively monstrous, inhuman, freakish and horrifying to behold, and that’s pretty awesome)

[ruxian]

director’s commentary on “quick change” i BEG of u ~pho

me, sliding in on my socks a million years late to answer things,

AHHHH okay here we go!!

quick change was partially inspired by @hearteyesmcgarrett and the leverage prompt list he posted! as soon as i saw it i gasped and wondered why i hadn’t thought of using leverage for fic ideas sooner. i messaged him and he encouraged me to write it and lo and behold for once i actually did.

the entire opening sequence was inspired by the leverage episode “the rundown job”, which happens to be my favorite episode. comparisons to eliot and bucky have been drawn for years and it was the perfect way to combine them in a fic. i really had no plot point to this other than i wanted bucky to be a badass and have sam compliment his ass. that’s literally it.

the actual ‘quick change’ part was a play on this scene from teenage mutant ninja turtles. no i’m not kidding. yes i wish i was. the idea to include it came from this wired episode, and it gave me an excuse to make them pose as a couple in public (and let’s be real, that’s all i cared about).

originally, the scene had this dialogue:

It works, and they make it out of the most crowded area without a hitch. Bucky still looks tense out of the corner of his eye, but he usually does, so Sam doesn’t pay it much mind.

That is, until Bucky comes half an inch closer, whispering instructions.

“Put your arm around my waist and keep your hand low on my hip.” Sam does so without question, pulling Bucky in a little closer for good measure. “Point out something, look excited about it.”

i ultimately deleted this version because i decided that sam wouldn’t need that kind of instruction, especially since he’d been on the run for so long, so instead i went with the version in the final fic where they act like a well-oiled machine! i think it highlights them both much better, even if the original idea was cute!!

the kbbq came from the fact that my friends and i are obsessed with it and if it weren’t so expensive we’d live off it. it’s probably way cheaper to make at home but i am Lazy

the flirting at the end was my favorite part to write!! it was just so cute they’re so dorky and funny and i love them so much wow

the whole fic was really just an excuse to have them be flirty and sweet and happy and badass and i had so much fun writing it!! i need to do more lighthearted things more often

thank you so much for reading!!!

[paladinsnevergiveup-blog]

An Open Letter to Voltron: Legendary Defender and DreamWorks

AUTHOR: @astralsheith

SOURCE: https://twitter.com/astralsheith/status/1074317099730919424

READ ON WORDPRESS

What happened to Voltron?

Back in October, screenshots from the final episode of Voltron’s eighth and final season were leaked online. The fandom split down the middle regarding who thought they were real and who thought they were fake and bad behaviour sprung up from both sides. I tried to maintain as neutral a stance as possible, waiting for an official statement to be made but none ever came and confirmation on the leaks came when the final season dropped on Netflix on December 14th. I had always remained hopeful that the leaks were fake, because the implications of them were troubling to me, such as Allura dying and Shiro’s last-minute wedding. My trust in Voltron’s showrunners (Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos) and creative team’s storytelling kept me going and I was, ultimately, excited (if sad about Voltron ending) to see the last season of a show I hold close to my heart.

Lo and behold, here we are, and it is somehow worse than I thought possible.

I can’t say that I hated Season 8. They were some stunning and powerful moments, to be sure, and as always, Studio Mir’s animation was incredible and breathtaking. The documentary episode was clever, dynamic, and brilliantly animated. Honerva’s arc as the show’s final villain was, in my opinion, one of the strongest points of the season. But when the dust settled after I’d finished watching I realised how disappointed and hurt I felt by this season. How, in the end, Voltron’s final season largely felt...hollow. As if the passion and heart that had been put into the previous seven seasons had been lost or smothered somehow. And the air of silence from the showrunners, the cast and crew that has bookended both the build up and response to Season 8 feels not only deafening but damning to how this final season ultimately turned out. Both the cast and crew and the fandom should be celebrating. The show ending may be bittersweet but ultimately, we should be celebrating the successful final season of an incredible show that has given so much to so many people.

Instead, people are crying - out of disappointment, hurt, a sense of betrayal. People are physically sick. Unable to eat. Unable to sleep. Children (Voltron’s supposed target demographic) are upset and confused by what transpired in Season 8.

What happened? What happened between SDCC of this year - when the cast and crew seemed so alight with passion and love for the show and the fact that they’d achieved the momentous feat of having a queer main character like Shiro - and now, with a final season that has left fans in pieces and its showrunners seemingly running as fast as they can from what their beloved show ended up being? For what purpose is this the outcome? Did LM and JDS get tired after working for so long on this show? Did they bite off more than they could chew? Did DreamWorks and other IP holders decide to, ultimately, take matters into their own hands and mold the final season into the Voltron they’d wanted all along? Robot action, transformation sequences, power-ups - those are all amazing if there’s some meaning behind them. That did not seem to be the case in Season 8. Season 8 was something separate in terms of its story and its characters than what had been developed in Seasons 1 through 7.  

What happened to Voltron?

There are several things that are wrong with Season 8 that I could discuss. How about I start with Shiro? Shiro is my favourite character in Voltron and has been from since I started watching the show. At first glance, he might seem the prototypical hypermasculine and stoic leader type but there was such a kindness to him, a willingness to look out for his team no matter the cost, that made him different. An ambition to explore the universe and a passion to help people in need. A sense of humor that was dorky and dark in equal measure. He dealt with trauma. He faced immense adversity. Yet he survived. More than that, by the end of Season 7, he seemed to be thriving. Former Black Paladin of Voltron and current Captain of the IGF Atlas. And he was a gay man - a gay man not defined by his sexuality by any means. There has always been so much more to Shiro than meets the eye. Except in Season 8 - in Season 8, for the most part, all that made Shiro so wonderful as a character in a so-called kid’s show was...gone. He was “Captain”. He shouted orders and directions and rarely did his personality get any real chance to shine. The arm-wrestling in the episode Clear Day was probably the most engaging Shiro was as a character in the entire thirteen episodes. He didn’t have to be the focus of the season - that was clearly Allura and Honerva and that’s great - but he should still have been the character we’ve come to know and love and admire over the last two years or so. But he wasn’t. He just wasn’t.

Furthermore (and I am well aware I might just get written off as a “spiteful shipper” for this), the relationship between Shiro and Keith in Season 8 all but vanished. Putting aside the question of whether Shiro and Keith being canon as a romantic couple was ever on the table for Voltron, their strong friendship was all but erased from Voltron’s “canon” in Season 8. This is a relationship that has been a pillar of the show since the very beginning. Keith’s introduction to the show was him saving Shiro. His first bit of dialogue on the show was Shiro’s name. They’ve had near-entire episodes dedicated to their relationship - Across the Universe, The Blade of Marmora, The Black Paladins, A Little Adventure. What other duo in Voltron can boast that? Maybe Zarkon and Honerva but not even they - as two of the main villains of the show and the catalyst for the entire war that takes place throughout Voltron’s story and plot - have that much plot and character attention as Shiro and Keith have had regarding their bond. Shiro and Keith have soundtracks specific to their relationship.

What could possibly have happened to warrant the kind of erasure they faced in Season 8? How is it I can point to several moments throughout Season 8 where Shiro and Keith’s relationship could have continued to shine yet there was almost nothing there? Was it censorship? Was DreamWorks and Co. unable to handle a gay main character having a close relationship with his male best friend? Because it certainly feels like that’s the case - a fear of what Shiro and Keith could have been by the end of Voltron (even as best friends) and a desperation to backpedal. Was it “think of the children”? Yet how are you “thinking of the children” when Lotor’s melted corpse is allowed on screen? Is body horror and violence “safe” for children but meaningful relationships involving queer main characters are not?

And then there’s Shiro’s wedding in the “epilogue”. I won’t deny that the image of a gay main character such as Shiro, marrying and kissing another man, isn’t (on the surface) powerful in its own way and could perhaps prove to be a gateway to more male queer representation in Western animation. Yet when that man is a man I only the know name of because I watch Voltron with captions, when that man is mistaken for Shiro’s dead ex partner by Netflix’s audio description, when that man is marrying Shiro at the seeming expense of Shiro’s entire character, it can’t help but feel cheap. A PR stunt for “representation points”. A quick-fix due to the backlash Voltron faced after Season 7 and Adam’s death. There’s no weight or true meaning behind it. No development. The fact that Voltron’s supervising producer last work for Voltron that he posted on his Instagram was him drawing and animating Shiro’s wedding weeks (September 13th) after said backlash kicked off (mid-late August) does not feel unrelated or coincidental to me. It doesn’t feel genuine. It doesn’t feel true to the story Voltron’s been telling these past 2 ½ half years.

Allura. Oh, Allura.

I can’t think of a solid reason why the decision was made to kill Allura off. I’d like to think that the original idea was to have Voltron be sacrificed but DreamWorks was reluctant to let go off the eponymous robot and Allura was the only character close to powerful enough to be convincing of rebooting all realities, along with Honerva. But who's to say that’s even close to the truth? And why not have it be solely Honerva? I would have believed that if they were truly committed to a “redemption in death” for Honerva. Why Allura? Why go against Allura’s character of arc of moving away from destructive self-sacrifice, learning to trust her team, finding a new family in the paladins? Why have the paladins so readily accept Allura’s decision? “We are always stronger together” - yet Allura is the only paladin to sacrifice herself? She faced so much loss as a character - why have her lose her life, too? Allura was never meant to be a martyr. She was meant to live. To move past her father’s legacy and help rebuild the universe. Lead her people. Experience Altea again. And the relationship between Allura and Lance in Season 8 was wonderful and sweet but in light of Allura’s death can’t help but feel somewhat contrived for maximum emotional impact when they say goodbye. Allura’s death, ultimately, felt unnecessary, unfair, and ill aligned with what I thought were Voltron’s primary themes. Power of love, of friendship and family, of teamwork. What’s the point of a team if, in the end, they do very little to help save the universe and the burden is left on one person alone?  

And the rest of the team in Season 8 suffered, too. Pidge barely interacted with any of the other paladins. Hunk displayed some great moments with his love of cooking and how that helped people but the heroics he displayed in Season 7 seemed to fall to the wayside. Lance’s signature goofiness seemed to get lost in his constant worry over Allura. I am grateful for his newfound maturity but it shouldn’t come at the expense of what made these character so distinct in the first place.

I have loved Voltron. I still do, even if I am currently working through these difficult emotions regarding its final season. I have defended it in the past from irrational “critique”. Seven seasons of great storytelling does not vanish in the wake of a troubling and disappointing ending. At some point, I will continue with my rewatch. Right now, I think that would be difficult. I’m not trying to point specific blame at any one person or party in particular, as I don’t know the truth of what happened during Voltron’s production (as much as I would like to). I just know that Season 8 felt like a lie. Not only a lie but a bad lie. A transparent lie. And I and so many other dedicated fans would greatly appreciate the truth. I don’t need to see what Season 8 would have originally been, if there is such a thing. I can honestly quite easily imagine it, because Voltron’s previous seasons had set it up so thoughtfully. But I would be grateful for an explanation, for a break in the silence, for someone involved with the show to come forth and help the fandom move forward in the wake of Season 8.

What happened to Voltron? Tell us, because we’re ready to listen.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat, p8 reaction

It doesn't FEEL like it could already be time for the Masterpiece, but then, what else is there? Until now we've been switching back and forth between Earth C & John. Unless we now go see what post-retcon Terezi has been up to, I guess it might be time to witness the penultimate moment of Caliborn's ascension to Lord English, the last moment being when LE hatches from Doc Scratch.

---

"> JOHN: Zap to your final destination.

Where the hell are you?

DAVE: where the hell are we DAVE: i cant see shit"

Welp it's time for this?? ... Unless John misfired and they're in the Furthest Ring, I'd think that they'd find Caliborn in his station on LOCAM. ... I don't suppose there's going to be an actual stage like in the Vine videos. :P If that were so, it appears someone killed the lights, though.

Maybe something prevents them from actually going to Caliborn, like they're missing a crucial artifact and they wouldn't be able to escape from LOCAM with John's powers to return to the same moment with another retcon. We know the juju almost instantaneously can absorb them. ... It'd be something if the events of the Masterpiece somehow preordained them into doing something first.

"JADE: shhh!

It’s dark. Not like “someone turned out the lights out” dark. More like “someone destroyed the concept of light at its very source” dark." I suppose that, in Caliborn's art, it would be "vantablack" dark due to the absence of a light source he never bothered to draw, but I doubt they just zapped into one of his scribbles he made after John beat him up.

Also, it's a good Light wasn't capitalized in that description. Though, to think about it, Void would look enormously black, wouldn't it? ... Did John zap them into the Void somehow??? It IS the place where Caliborn's soul was stuck for a very long time, after all, but that is after the Masterpiece took place.

"It’s a darkness that fills up your skull. Jake puts this more eloquently, as always:

JAKE: By golly it is indeed dark as fuck." A+ observation, Jake.

"ROXY: shoosh!!!" That makes two of the girls shooshing them. ... For a minute there I thought they recognized this void, until I remembered it was Game Over Roxy and post-retcon Jade that ended up meeting Calliope's ghost.

"Jade breaks off from the group. She moves through the air gracefully, ears twitching as she sniffs through space like a bloodhound. “There!” she exclaims, and points down. All the way down." Being a bit destracted by unformatted sentences uttered by one of the main characters, I'll be honest. But yeah, I suppose the Space and Void player are most qualified to navigate this... realm. Caliborn's version of the Veil, maybe? Since it would appear they're not alone here, after all.

"All the way down beneath you there is a light source. Gray, focused—like a spotlight, except that it’s folded over the curvature of the space beneath it. At the center of it stands teenage Lord English, all decked out in his ostentatious god tier jammies." ... Ah. Not a stage in the literal sense, but Caliborn did prepare a grand scene for this faceoff, in that he literally prepared the shittiest scene imagineable: none at all.

"Gamzee’s there too, for some unfathomably stupid reason. There’s a robot bunny chilling out on top of a chest, lookin’ cool and kicking its cute little bunny legs back and forth." Welp, that sure are the beings present for the Masterpiece. That was the chest Caliborn kept the juju in, hoh boy.

"You hope that neither of these unexpected dramatis personae will play a role in the coming battle, because it wouldn’t feel right whaling on either of them at this point." Of course they're going to stay irrelevant, what are you saying? :B

"Lord English is holding something that looks like... Lil Cal? It’s definitely Lil Cal" So, uh, John recognizes the puppet then? ... Well, granted, he did see baby Dirk/Bro with it on the meteor, and during the ten years since someone must've described the thing to him at one point.

", and Lord English is definitely waltzing around with it in his little spotlight in the middle of the nowhere, swinging the puppet around by both its floppy arms. Well, rather, he was waltzing around. He stopped the moment you looked at him." ... Pffff he wasn't even expecting them right then? He was just playing pretend with Cal for who knows how long.

"> Behold your adversary.

JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ..." No. No, we're not doing this again, are we? The epic frown off.

"JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: ... JOHN: ... CALIBORN: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

What. The fuck. ... Does... Does Caliborn not recognize John because he's an adult???? Or... I mean... Timelines... Okay, yeah, Blaperile reminded me about something.

Caliborn in the Masterpiece didn't seem to recognize John. So. That could mean that. This. Is. Pre-retcon Caliborn.

Fucking Hells. Even if they get sucked into the juju...

That means. Lord English is pre-retcon Caliborn. But post-retcon Caliborn might be a seperate entity. That means he's an unknown quantifier, but that would mean Paradox Space is seriously screwed, right? A Caliborn not destined to become Lord English would be free to do whatever he pleased with his Lord of Time powers, and then all bets are off. Even if his pre-retcon self became the bane of endless universes, he was still limited, sanctioned by Paradox Space.

FYI, with pre-retcon & post-retcon, here I meant that I think that, this Caliborn never had John zapping into his room. But, now that I think about it some more... He would still have recognized John and the others from the consoles. (Hmm, unless the consoles only showed Caliborn images from B2, but I didn't think that was the case.) Meanwhile, I don't think the ghost of the Caliborn that Alternate Calliope 'ate' would be dressed in god tier jammies and be chilling with Lil' Seb and Gamzee...

"You simply refuse to answer his question. Instead, you do something so much better. Something that will make both his inevitable fate and your regard for his character incontrovertibly clear." Is it a punch in the face? Tell me it's a punch in the face. If this Caliborn turns out to be blameless in the rise of Lord English, the second hand embarassment will be palpable.

"> Give him a thumbs-down." Ah. Beatdown, imminent. :P

"Lord English drops the puppet. For a moment he looks shocked, maybe even a little afraid, but it passes quickly. He starts laughing." Wow, okay. I didn't think I was ready to consider liking the idea of a version of Caliborn that is more jerk-with-low-self-esteem, but, here I'm getting there.

"JOHN: uh. CALIBORN: NEVERMIND. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE." ... Oh, then scratch everything I just said. :P Guess the dorky theatrics finally gave it away, huh? Well, granted, Caliborn is a self-professed slow learner and been shown to be slow in the uptake in some regards.

"CALIBORN: IT WAS FORETOLD. BY THE MASTERPIECE I MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY." With Caliborn, it's never clear if he's just boasting or being sincere. It might be that 7 years passed for him in his session too, but if he had been 13 at the time he could be 20. Then again, if he was 11... He'd still count as a teenager.

"JOHN: what? CALIBORN: BE QUIET. CALIBORN: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST INTERRUPTED A GROUNDBREAKING INTERPRETIVE ART PIECE. CALIBORN: IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND. PERFORMED ONLY ONCE. AND MADE MORE VALUABLE FOR ITS RARENESS. JOHN: wow. CALIBORN: I SAID SHUT UP. IT’S RUDE TO TALK THROUGH THE OVERTURE. CALIBORN: BUT DON’T WORRY. ALTHOUGH YOU MISSED MY VERY IMPORTANT DANCE DEMONSTRATION." ... Interpretive dance. His wickedness really knows no bounds!!! :mspa:

"CALIBORN: NOW YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT." Welp. Caliborn has Fate on his side in this one. He knows what's coming! Guess we're left to see how straightforward everything will unfold now.

"The young Lord’s face begins to distort. The unhinging of his jaw reverberates in the empty space. He laughs through the remainder of his nefarious soliloquy, which he has possibly prepared in advance for this moment." I was thinking he'd start shooting lasers, but it would appear the rest of his 'soliloquy' may consist solely out of "HA. HA. HA." repeated ad nauseum.

"CALIBORN: BY NOW, SURELY MANY HAVE WITNESSED MY MASTERPIECE. CALIBORN: AS IT HAS CIRCULATED THROUGH THE BLACK VEINS. OF THE DARK WEB. CALIBORN: TRILLIONS HAVE WITNESSED ITS MAJESTY. HATERS AND FOOLS ALIKE." That might be a LITTLE bit overestimating it. :P Unless, of course, he's talking about all of the ghosts in the dreambubbles, rebubbling the memory ad infinitum. I'm reminded of Gamzee's rap, though, about the trillions being bled.

"CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME. CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS. CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND..." To see the truth or lack thereof in the masterpiece.

"CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY MASTERPIECE!" ... Wow. Epic.

Okay, that was delivered perfectly.

If we weren't in the epilogues, I'd have expected an [S] page next.

Gotta say, for knowing how this will go in broad strokes, I'm glad at getting the finer details filled in.

So, Caliborn seemed to imply in his Masterpiece Jade still had her First Guardian powers. Guess this scene still takes place in the Green Sun's gaze then. I hope I'm forgiven for being confused. Post-canon takes place outside of it, but Caliborn's session was spawned in Universe C. So at some point, he fell back into the Green Sun's domain somehow. Maybe simply by Entering his session. He thusly entered canon, and gained quite a bit of relevance to Paradox Space.

"A young Lord stands on his stage. It just so happens that today, the thirteenth of April, 11111111111, is this boy's wriggling day. Though it was 18 sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will obtain ultimate power.

What will this young Lord do?"

[doubleddenden]

Because I can't sleep, I'll just talk about animation, gaming, and voice acting I really want to see my stuff represented by some day.

So first off I'm writing a story called Gaeos Chronicles Courageous Will, the story of two brothers whisked away to another world to save their best friend, other earthlings, and inhabitants of that word from a regime of Anti Arts terrorists. Together with said friend and twin sisters, plus others that join them for the ride, these two go on wild adventures with cool magical swords to solve mysteries, unravel conspiracies, and fight bad guys.

Wade Montague is grumpy and short, but is the brains of the two and is somewhat an oblivious dork. He specializes in speed and uses two to six swords while making use of the Light element.

I could see maybe Yuri Lowenthall giving him his voice work. The guy does really well with edgy characters but also does well with snarky or dorky characters. I'd imagine sort of an early day Filler Sasuke meeting Hasseo from .hack//GU voice wise.

Kite Van Halen is easy going and very athletic and handsome, and provides the muscle and a bit of comedy relief to the table. He uses a sword the size of his body to basically destroy anything in his path with fire energy.

I can see maybe Johnny Yong Bosch as him. Johnny gives some serious energy to his voice acting but can also be suave and silly given the right moments. Take Ichigo from Bleach or Orga from ibo and maybe throw in a bit more silliness and romance like some of his other stuff.

Other VA's I could see working on my series include regulars from anime like Naruto, Bleach, Gundam and others.

I think it should go without saying but I'm not a fan of live action adaptations and would sooner die than let them try to cast Michael Cera as Wade and Channing Tatum as Kite. No, if it's getting made, it has to be animated. I would prefer a full on anime style if I could have it because it blends realism and stylization that I love, and I'm not too fond of anyone other than Rooster Teeth handling a 3d adaptation. I'm definitely not a fan of the "cal arts" art style for my work, too noodly and slow paced and the eyes don't work for my guys.

If I have to stick western then I'd definitely be down with Dark Horse studios or the guys that worked on Avatar and I THINK Voltron. They both have a style I enjoy that blends action toons with anime and some sillier stuff as well.

However put of any choices in the world? That's tough. I'd certainly dig Kyo Ani's beautiful take on character and background design, especially in Violet Evergarden, although Studio Pierrot does fighting scenes so damn well with its cel shading style as seen with Naruto vs Sasuke or Kakashi versus Obito. Bones I feel wouldn't disappoint me but their stuff tends to run short. Now Studio Trigger would be an amazing sight to behold and they'd blend classic animation with new and spastic stylization, but I just dont want it to get too far removed from my vision.

Basically what I'd want is something that sticks a bit close to or better than my art style, and something that deals with a lot of colors with experience in high octane fight scenes with lots of fluid movement in a fantasy setting. Something that also deals with colorful energy, flashy AND subtle emotion and body language, silly outbursts and gags- I want a lot, man.

As far as games go, you can't really go too wrong with a turn based rpg but I would definitely kill for a high speed combo Action RPG like Kingdom Hearts but with a blend between it and Star Ocean Integrity and Faithlessness with most of your party fighting at once and the ability to swap between them. Style I feel could vary, but I'd want something cel shaded like Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm and Breath of the Wild with insane colors and beautiful environments you could expect from BotW, or from Tales of Vesperia or others.

I'd definitely want for the player to have their own character they could customize as a variety of races with a variety of weapon styles. So equipment wouldn't have fixated stats, but rather you assign points to stats like Soulsborne type games or DB Xenoverse and SAO FB. In theory I'd like for there to be a bunch of things you can customize, including bangs, hair top, hair sides, and the back, maybe even parts of the outfit with different sleeves and collars and boots and such- so long as we can figure out how to stop hair clipping and weird collision issues.

Honestly the voices to these guys wouldn't matter too much beyond grunts and one liners but it'd be appreciated at the least. The silent protagonist would work best for their story but I'd definitely want to give the character choice in what they say. Maybe not Bioware levels of choice, but I'd definitely want a dmfew silly options.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

The 65 absolute best moments from 'The Office'

Fact: The Office is now and will always be one of the greatest television shows of all time.

The NBC comedy, which debuted in 2005, followed the extraordinarily amusing lives of Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Pam Beesley, and other employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton. And even though The Office has been off the air since 2013, fans have yet to stop obsessing over the nine glorious seasons.

While everyone impatiently awaits a possible revival, which John Krasinski already has planned, we figured it'd be wise to take a look back and cherish some of The Office's best moments.

SEE ALSO: 'The Office' hasn’t been revived yet, but at least we have Angela’s YouTube channel

From entire episodes like "Dinner Party," to small but hilariously written and acted cold opens — like the time Kevin spilled his chili — here's a comprehensive list of 65 best moments from The Office. 

1. The Dundies

Nothing beats your first Dundies! So let's kick this list off by taking a trip back to Chilli's to see Michael in his prime as a host and Jim and Pam share their first real kiss. 👀

2. Dwight blasting "Everybody Hurts" in his car

In Season 2, episode 4 — "The Fire" — Dwight gets jealous of Michael's budding relationship with new temp Ryan Howard. After a fire alarm causes Dunder Mifflin employees to evacuate to the parking lot, he's seen hardcore brooding in the car. Dwight, windows down, slumped in the driver's seat, blasting "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M., will forever be one of the Biggest Moods out there.

3. "Ryan Started the Fire"

Another equally gorgeous moment in "The Fire," occurs when Dwight bounces back from his brooding to belt a parody of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."

After learning the beloved temp Ryan accidentally started the fire in the office by leaving his cheese pita in the toaster oven (set to "oven" instead of "toaster"), Dwight sings "Ryan Started the Fire" while waving the charred cheese pita in the air.

4. Jim and Pam having a roof date AND sharing headphones

In "The Client," (Season 2, episode 7) Jim and Pam spend the night sitting in lawn chairs on the roof while watching Dwight set off fireworks. Jim makes his "famous" grilled cheese sandwiches and Pam brings drinks and a freaking candle. Then later, before saying goodbye, they SHARE HEADPHONES, which is such an important moment that Mashable.com already mentions it in two other articles. Has there ever been a more wholesome 1:14 of television?

5. "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration" 

In the eight seasons since the world finally met the love of Phyllis' life, Bob Vance, we've had the pleasure of listening to him introduce himself many many times. Nothing, however, will ever beat the first.

6. The teapot

As Season 2's stressful holiday party comes to an end, Jim's thoughtful Secret Santa gift finally makes its way to the intended recipient, Pam. Jim (clearly smitten to hell) gets her a tea pot she wanted but FILLS IT WITH BONUS GIFTS, including several cute and sentimental inside jokes like hot sauce packets, a mini golf pencil, and his dorky high school yearbook photo. Swoon city!

7. Jim's "Booze Cruise" confession 

Season 2, episode 11 aka "Booze Cruise" is a doozy. In a touching scene on the boat, Jim finally reveals his feelings for Pam to Michael. Surprisingly, Michael replies with some truly inspiring advice.

8. Michael's grilled foot

Season 2, episode 12's "The Injury" is one of the greatest The Office moments. Michael burns his foot by stepping on a George Foreman grill, which he places on his bedroom floor because he likes to wake up to the smell of bacon. Understandable. It's a beautiful, overdramatic episode filled with crutches, Country Crock, and Michael trying to shove his foot into Dwight's MRI machine.

9. Pam's voicemails

"The Carpet" (Season 2, episode 14) starts super gross and ends super sweet. Jim's feeling a bit sad after being isolated from Pam all day due to a temporary desk switch, but when he checks his voicemail before leaving for the day he finds he's a bunch of messages from her! Aww. Luv.

10. When Ryan hooked up with Kelly but didn't check the date

In Season 2, episode 16, after finally hooking up with Kelly Kapoor on Valentine's Day eve, Ryan Howard utters perhaps his most iconic line in the series.

11. Dwight's bobblehead

Unlike Ryan, Dwight had a great Valentine's Day, because a secret admirer *cough* Angela *cough* gave him a bobblehead doll of himself. Watch as Dwight experiences true joy.

12. Jim gets jinxed

In Season 2, episode 20 — "Drug Testing" — Pam jinxes Jim for the entire day and really makes the most of it. After poking a little too much fun at him, however, she goes out and buys a Coke so he can purchase it from her and un-jinx himself. 

13. Dwight "Honorary Security Advisor" K. Schrute

In "Drug Testing," a guilty Michael also has Dwight inducted as "Honorary Security Advisor" of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Hugh Dane, who played Hank the security guard, did the honors, and when the actor recently died Rainn Wilson shared the scene on social media.

RIP Hugh Dane, aka Hank the security guard. He was one of the greats. So kind, funny, talented. We will all miss him. Donations can be made in his name to: https://t.co/z1SAqamWMM pic.twitter.com/ysevEZKOjy

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 4, 2018

14. "Casino Night" confession

Hello, yes. You knew Jim's parking lot declaration of love was going to be on this list. We finally get to see Jim tell Pam his true feelings and it's SO MUCH. When John Krasinski says, "I just needed you to know... once," and "I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship," who on this planet did not die? Not to mention, THE KISS. WHAT A KISS. 

15. Michael walking down to "the warehouse"

"Grief Counseling" (Season 3, episode 4) begins with a hilarious and underrated cold open in which Michael pretends to walk down the stairs to the warehouse. The ultimate dad joke.

16. Good Grief counseling

Later in the episode, Michael leads a grief counseling session where the Dunder Mifflin employees tell stories about losing loved ones. Turns out, they're actually just death scenes from movies.

17. The bird funeral

Wow, "Grief Counseling" again! Great episode. Gotta love this bird funeral complete with moving speeches, Pam singing, and Dwight playing his recorder. RIP BIRD.

18. Stanley on Pretzel Day

If you want to see Stanley Hudson shine, look no further than "Initiation" (Season 3, episode 5,) where the man gets to indulge in his annual free pretzel.

19. The phone call

Jim hasn't spoken to Pam since he transferred to the Stamford branch, but in Season 3, episode 5, the two accidentally share a phone call and pick up right where they left off. They talk about Michael, how many words per minute they type, and Pam confusing 28 Days with 28 Days Later. Romantic shit, people!

20. Phyllis' ultimate burn

After Stamford-turned-Scranton employee Karen Filippelli reveals she's allergic to her new desk mate Phyllis' perfume, Phyllis delivers this scathing hot burn: "Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan Orlando. It's made from real pine."

21. "Lazy Scranton"

Michael and Dwight present "Lazy Scranton," a parody of Saturday Night Live's "Lazy Sunday," to get everyone pumped about working in The Electric City post-merger.

22. Prison Mike

After someone claims prison would be nicer than working at Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott introduces the staff to Prison Mike — one of his many alter egos. In "The Convict," Prison Mike memorably explains the worst thing about prison... the dementors.

23. Angela's karaoke debut

Angela rarely comes out of her shell, but in "A Benihana Christmas," she makes the office floor her stage and sings a very tame rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy."

24. The ceiling prank

Although it ended in Andy punching a hole in the wall in a fit of rage and being forced to attend anger management classes, the prank where Jim put Andy's phone in the ceiling tiles was quite fun.

25. The missing key

Behold: The Season 3, episode 17 cold open in which Michael unsuccessfully attempts to escape from a straight jacket.

26. Creed eating a potato

"Safety Training" (Season 3, episode 20) is an utterly delightful episode. The Scranton office gets into placing bets against each other, one of which is whether or not Creed will notice if his apple is replaced with a potato. Spoiler alert: He doesn't.

27. "Lord beer me strength"

Jim puts his own fun spin on Andy's famous saying in "Product Recall" (Season 3, episode 21). It gets a laugh, like a quarter of the time.

28. Mall day

Sometimes you just need a day with the girls to figure your life out. Michael learns this in the "Women's Appreciation" episode, when he takes the ladies of Dunder Mifflin to the mall. They hit the food court, give him some much-needed advice about his relationship with Jan, and then he takes them on a shopping spree to Victoria's Secret. Not inappropriate at all.

29. Andy floating away

In "Beach Games" — episode 23 of the third season — Angela tries to sabotage the games (so Dwight will win) by letting Andy drift away in the lake while wearing an inflatable sumo wrestling suit. Andy repeatedly asks her to go get help. She doesn't.

30. The yogurt lid

During "The Job," Jim's mid-interview with David Wallace when he discovers a sweet note and a gold medal yogurt lid from the "Office Olympics" episode. Pam hides them to encourage Jim, and they inspire him to return to Scranton and ask Pam on a date. One ticket back to swoon city, please!

31. Michael hitting Meredith with his car

Season 4, episode 1 starts with a bang, and that bang is the sound of Michael hitting Meredith with his car. Later, Michael holds a Fun Run to raise money for rabies awareness, carbo loads, and throws up fettuccine alfredo, saying, "While I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out." The best. 

32. The DVD logo

In the thrilling cold open of "Launch Party" (Season 4, episode 3,) the staff watches on the edge of their seats, waiting for the DVD logo on the TV screensaver to hit the corner of the screen. When it finally does, they cheer, and Michael assumes it's because of him.

33. Devil Wears Prada day

In "Money," the seventh episode of Season 4, it's very clear Michael's obsessed with Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada.

34. Dwight's bed and breakfast

This is also the episode in which Jim and Pam stay at Dwight's family farm turned bed and breakfast. If you recall Dwight READS THEM A BED TIME STORY from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

35. Michael driving into Lake Scranton

If there's one thing we learned from Season 4, episode 3 of The Office, it's that your GPS is not always correct.

36. The entire "Dinner Party" episode

It's impossible to choose just one best moment from "Dinner Party." The Season 4 episode gives viewers a rare and hilarious AF glimpse at Michael and Jan's home life — complete with bizarre sleeping arrangements, a tiny plasma television, and a catchy AF single. Even the cast loved this episode.

37. Michael singing "Goodbye Toby"

"Goodbye Toby" was the episode Michael dreamed of since the series began. Toby's headed to Costa Rica but not before a parking lot party, a proposal, and Michael's rendition of "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp.

38. Jim proposing to Pam

It might not seem like the most romantic setting, but Jim's spontaneous gas station in the rain proposal is one for the books.

39. Dwight's fire drill

One of the greatest cold opens of all time is in the Season 5 episode, "Stress Relief," when Dwight starts a fire to teach the office about fire safety. Chaos ensues, Angela throws her cat through the ceiling, and Stanley straight-up has a heart attack. #SaveBandit

40. CPR training

Michael also attempts to perform CPR on a model in the two-part "Stress Relief" episode, but the office winds up singing "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees instead. A truly glorious moment where Kelly dances like all of us.

41. The roast of Michael Scott

In "Stress Relief," Michael decides to hold a roast for himself — which is, of course, hilarious — but the real laughs come near the end of the episode when he fires back at his employees. Michael goes around the office flawlessly burning each of his coworkers, declaring, "BOOM, ROASTED," when he's finished. It's so funny even Stanley LOLs.

41. Kevin tragically spills chili

RIP Kevin's homemade chili. You lived a good, extremely short life, appearing only briefly in "Casual Friday" (Season 5, episode 26).

42. Phyllis' hug selling for $1,000

Dunder Mifflin's holding an auction to raise money after the office was robbed and the highest bid just so happens to be for a freakin' hug from Phyllis. After an intense bidding war, Dwight surrenders to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

43. Andy trapping Dwight

It's a duel for Angela's love and Andy's not holding back. He tapes a note to some bushes to lure Dwight, then stealthily drives up behind him in his silent Toyota Prius at about 1mph and traps him. An impressive feat.

44. Kelly's Hillary Swank freak out

In "Prince Family Paper," the thirteenth episode of Season 5, the office tries to decide whether or not Hilary Swank is "hot." When the group is unable to reach an agreement, Kelly has very relatable outburst in which she realizes that if people don't think Hilary Swank is hot they must not think she's hot either, and storms out of the room.

45. Soup snakes

"Company Picnic" (Season 5, episode 28) is a special one. The Dunder Mifflin branches come together to compete in a series of challenges, but amidst the chaos Michael admits he and Holly are "soup snakes" (mispronouncing "soul mates").

Cute Fact: Mindy Kaling used the term "soup snakes" to describe her IRL relationship with B.J. Novak. ~ swoon city, bitch ~

46. Pam's pregnant

"Company Picnic" is also the episode in which Jim and Pam learn she's pregnant. GRAB THE TISSUES!

48. Jim's wardrobe adjustment

Another two-part episode, "Niagara," shows the highly anticipated wedding of Jim and Pam. But right before the two are about to head into the church Pam's veil tears. Jim's response? Cutting his tie in half.

49. Embarrassing 4ever

And what would Jim and Pam's wedding be without their friends recreating a viral video and dancing down the aisle to Chris Brown's "Forever" despite being asked not to?

50. Michael joins the Mafia

In the sixth episode of Season 6 of The Office, Dwight and Andy convince Michael that an insurance salesman interested in working with Dunder Mifflin is a member of the mafia. They go to out to lunch, say "gabagool" a lot, and Michael orders a salad ON THE SIDE.

51. The Lip Dub

Season 7 of the show begins with the Dunder Mifflin crew attempting to go viral by recording a lip dub of The Human Beinz's song, "Nobody but Me." Just watch.

52. Dwight doing Pretty Woman

In "Counseling," (Season 7, episode 2), Dwight pulls a "Pretty Woman" and returns to a store in the mall that refused to serve him. Turns out, the employees were simply terrified of his beet juice-stained hands, which looked bloody. He makes amends, but still manages to deliver the iconic Julia Roberts line.

53. The happy and sad boxes

In the "Ultimatum" episode, Erin helps Michael prep for potentially good or bad news regarding Holly. They create two boxes, one filled with happy things, and one with sad things. A truly brilliant method of dealing with news and we should all take note.

54. Creed attempting a cartwheel

Ah, watching Creed thinking he achieved his goal of successfully doing a cartwheel in Season 7, episode 13, is one of the most simple joys out there.

55. Threat Level Midnight

In Season 7, episode 7, after more than 10 years of hard work and preparation, Michael screens his action movie: Threat Level Midnight.

56. Kelly explains text message subtext

Kelly gets REAL when it comes to analyzing Darryl's texts to Val from the warehouse in Season 8, episode 16, and we could all use her wisdom in our lives. Five dots, Darryl??? Are you kidding me?

57. Michael proposes to Holly

You will cry so many tears watching Michael propose to Holly in episode 19 of Season 7 that it'll look like a sprinkler system went off.

58. "Seasons of Love"

In Michael's second-to-last episode and final Dudies ceremony, the office honors him with a beautiful rendition of "Seasons of Love" from Rent.

59. Goodbye, Michael

Episode 22 of Season 7 requires a big old box of tissues. Michael's leaving a day earlier than he told everyone and says heartfelt goodbyes to all his co-workers except Pam. Luckily, Jim catches on and drives Pam to meet Michael at the airport before his flight takes off.

60. Daryl's daughter classing up Christmas

Daryll's daughter Jada singlehandedly saves "Classy Christmas" — perhaps the worst holiday party to ever hit the office — by joyously handing out vending machine snacks to everyone. So wholesome, ugh.

61. Ryan's final declaration of love

Scared of losing Kelly to a successful doctor, Ryan pulls out the big guns and declares his love with the help of poetry and a horse.

62. Asian Jim

From sticking belongings in Jell-O and making mega desks, to tampering with vending machines and more, Jim's played some great pranks on Dwight over the years, but Asian Jim was a next-level effort.

63. Darryl's farewell dance

The office busts a move to bid Darryl farewell in Season 9's "A.A.R.M" episode, though it's Oscar who really steals the show.

64. The Note

Remember THE TEAPOT? Well, at the last minute Jim hid the card to Pam he'd included in the box, and gives it to her years later (along with a DVD of highlights from their relationship) to save their marriage.

Jenna Fischer still has the note, too!

Awwww...Cleaning out my desk and I just found Pam's teapot note. #swoon

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) October 24, 2013

65. Michael returns for Dwight's wedding

MICHAEL RETURNS for his BFF's wedding to Angela, because what would this wedding be without one last "that's what she said" joke? If the series had to come to an end, the only way we'd want to do it is with the whole gang back together again. It's emotional AF, but "Finale" does a good job of wrapping up this brilliant journey.

To catch more best moments from Michael, Jim, Creed, Kelly, Angela, Kevin, and the your favorite paper salespeople, you can re-watch the series on Netflix. And who knows, maybe one day we'll get that revival.

[kitliveblogs]

so this is basically a long-ass rant disguised as a review of Little Mermaid II that I originally posted on a different blog. maybe someday I'll actually get back to that blog, but for right now the theme is broken and I can't read anything on it anymore.

so for now, this will live right here instead c:

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Everyone's already taken their shots at the notoriously bad Disney sequels made in the late 90s and early 2000s. They're basically a walking punch line just by existing. But really, not all of them are completely worthless, and a couple of them are even pretty enjoyable, in a hilarious "I can't believe they actually made this" sort of way.

But I'm here to talk about only the most heinous of cinematic disasters. And let me make one thing perfectly clear: this isn't just Kit being a bitter and cranky old fogy with a chip on her shoulder because the shitty sequel ruined her childhood. I mean, I am bitter and cranky, but The Little Mermaid II couldn't possibly lower my opinion of the original -- there's not really anything lower than rock bottom. (yeah I hate The Little Mermaid fight me)

This movie is just flat out that bad.

word count: 3070

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I'm just gonna get one thing out of the way right now: nothing about this movie frustrates me more than the cast. This cast is made up of particularly well-known voice actors, and it's heartbreaking that they all got wrangled into doing this shit. Jodi Benson (Ariel), Samuel E. Wright (Sebastian), Kenneth Mars (King Triton), and Buddy Hackett (Scuttle) all return to reprise their roles from the first movie, and Pat Carroll who played Ursula is here to play Morgana, the main villain and Ursula's conveniently-never-before-mentioned sister. Yeah. They're doing that. And on top of getting so much of the original cast, they also roped in:

Rob Paulsen (Eric)

Tara Strong (Melody)

Clancy Brown (Undertow)

Cam Clarke (Flounder)

Rene freaking Auberjonois as Chef Louis

and one my favorite VAs Stephen Furst as Dash, one half of the Timon and Pumbaa knock-offs for the film.

When just looking at the cast list pisses me off this much... I don't think this is going to be much fun.

A quick recap for those who have been living under a rock since the late 70s: The Little Mermaid is the story of Ariel, daughter of the ruler of Atlantica, who at the completely world-wise age of 16 decides she's had enough of life under the sea and wants to live with the humans on land. She turns to the sea-witch Ursula for help, and in exchange for her voice is given a pair of legs and a deadline: kiss the man of her dreams within three days or join the shriveled legion of Ursula's previous victims. Naturally the witch doesn't play fair and Ariel fails, and King Triton offers himself in exchange for his daughter, thus sacrificing his washboard abs and obscenely powerful trident to Ursula. One climactic battle later, Ursula's dead, Triton turns Ariel into a human, and she and Prince Eric live happily ever after.

Until the sequel, of course, where Ariel and Eric have a baby girl, Melody, which makes me question the exact biology of this bizarre offspring. I mean just look at this thing:

She was just born but she's got a full head of hair and disturbingly large blue eyes. It's freakish. But anyway, this is where movie number 2 begins.

And we're off to a good start: smacked in the face with a terrible music number. I would say get used to those, but there aren't really enough in the movie to warrant it -- which is pretty bad when you consider this is supposed to be a musical. Also, "listen to Ariel's Melody"? That's... wow. I can't even say that's cute in a sarcastic way that's just terrible.

But oh no! The party is interrupted by Morgana, who is, as Sebastian so eloquently puts it:

Oh good. I can see we'll be dealing with truly ingenious writing here.

So after stealing the baby Melody, ranting and raving about being better than her sister Ursula, and attempting to feed the baby to a shark (all while Ariel, Eric, and Triton stand there doing absolutely nothing), Morgana flees to the arctic. Wait, the arctic? Well, alright, you need to escape pursuit to a barren wasteland, that's fair. I won't linger on this for now, as the geography problems will get a lot worse later.

One of the main MacGuffins of the movie is a gold locket with Melody's name inscribed on it, that projects an image of Atlantica and plays a lullaby when opened. King Triton was giving it to the baby before Morgana came onto the scene, and after failing to find her in a massive search of the sea, Triton drops it in the water and leaves. This strikes me as odd. Wouldn't you want to hang onto it? As a keepsake of your family? Or at the very least dispose of it more properly, just in case Melody might one day, oh I dunno, find it and realize her mother and father had been lying to her her entire life? Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Fast forward 12 years. A giant wall has been built on the shore to keep Melody and the ocean apart, but being a tenacious kid she naturally figured out a way around it. Or rather, under it. Which raises the question: if this child could figure out a way out, why couldn't Morgana figure a way in? It would have been a simple matter to slip under the wall, scale the outside of the tower with her suction cup-riddled tentacles, and kidnap the baby to hold for ransom. Why was it so imperative to wait until Melody found the locket before enacting her plan to steal the trident?

Oh, yeah, that thing I mentioned before about her finding it? Lo and behold, she discovered the damn thing on one of her jaunts to collect seashells (which are comically huge by the way). If only Triton had done literally anything else with it, this whole mess might have been avoided.

But no time to worry about that now; there's a birthday party to attend!

Through a convoluted mess of trying to hide her seashells and pretend she'd been in her room the entire time, Melody accidentally ties Sebastian into the dorky bow on the back of her party dress. I'm sure this will have no consequences down the line at all--

Huh. Didn't see that one coming. This leads to a ridiculous scene of Chef Louis chasing Sebastian around the ballroom like some sort of crazed lunatic. I know this was a thing from the first movie, but this guy is out of his fucking gourd; why do they keep him around? Ultimately, Melody runs off to her room out of embarrassment.

I really don't want to linger on anything for too long since this movie doesn't deserve that much energy, but there's two things about this scene I need to address. One: so basically if Sebastian had just remained calm and waited it out... none of this would have happened? I think the blame for this one falls on him. And two: why the hell are all these other children making fun of Melody? I know she's ~weird~ and all, but she's the freaking princess. Don't you think they'd know better than exclude the princess of the entire kingdom? I would want to stay on her good side is all I'm saying.

Anyway. Melody finally takes a good look at the locket and realizes something's up, confronting her mother about Atlantica. Okay, Ariel, here's your chance. If you just explain the situation, she'll understand and maybe you could even take her to Atlantica under heavy guard or something so she can finally meet her damn grandfather.

Or you could just get mad. Getting mad is good too.

Naturally after that Melody decides to take off, rowing a rather conveniently placed boat out to sea to try and figure it all out for herself. While she meets Undertow and agrees to follow him to Morgana, Sebastian is back at the castle psyching himself up to tell Ariel that Melody ran away.

WAIT. YOU DIDN'T KNOW? IT'S BEEN TWELVE YEARS AND YOU HAD NO IDEA SEBASTIAN WAS KEEPING AN EYE ON MELODY??

So in the end, a) Ariel is the least observant person in the world, b) Sebastian never once told her about Melody's excursions beyond the wall (remember that for later), and c) Triton didn't bother to let Ariel know he'd assigned Sebastian the job, continuing the family cycle of not communicating with each other. In hindsight all this bullshit family drama isn't that surprising.

Back to Melody and Morgana (yes, somehow Undertow and the manta ray minions hauled the boat to the arctic in just a couple of hours), Morgana is doing what she does best: whining about Ursula. Honey, I don't think your mother favored her because she was the oldest; I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that Ursula was actually competent and managed to accomplish her goals. Plus her magic is clearly more powerful than yours, since you have to use one of her potions to turn Melody into a mermaid.

OH MY GOD A SONG. I forgot this movie was supposed to have those. It's an upbeat little tune about learning to swim with her new tail, which quickly evolves into a duet with her mother and finding their "worlds:" Melody finding a place she belongs underwater, and Ariel keeping Melody safe. It's boring, but at least Tara Strong can sing well, and Jodi Benson can still belt it out like she could twenty years ago.

Morgana tells Melody that the spell will only last for two days, and that in order to make it permanent, she'll need the "powerful trident that was stolen from her." I'm sure you're as shocked as I was when it was revealed that she didn't just want a puppy and someone to make her pie. So off Melody goes with naught but determination and a map carved into a block of ice. Wait. That seems... poorly designed.

There aren't even words on it. Now I'm no cartographer, but that seems like a pretty major flaw for a map.

Meanwhile, Ariel has joined the search for Melody as a mermaid again, because apparently, according to Eric, "You should go. You know these waters -- and you know our daughter." Um. I'm not even sure where to begin with that one. Let's just say I agree with half that statement; I'll give you one guess which half.

Back in the arctic-- Stop. Okay look. I liked Timon and Pumbaa well enough. Timon had his moments of obnoxiousness, but Nathan Lane was likable enough to always bring it back, and Pumbaa is still my favorite character from The Lion King. But lemme tell ya, I HATE what Timon and Pumbaa did to Disney for a while. They wanted quirky, amiable sidekicks that would keep the kids entertained and distract from the lion sex happening in the background. I can understand that. But when every kid walked away singing Hakuna Matata and the Disney execs realized what they'd stumbled on, every movie afterward that was bound to fail miserably tried to shoehorn in a pair that would have the same appeal to sell more merch. Timon and Pumbaa themselves wound up with their own movie and a SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON SHOW. YEAH. THAT REALLY HAPPENED.

Why do I bring it up? Do you really have to ask?

Meet Tip and Dash, your knock-offs for the evening.

They are, as they put it, "adventurers slash explorers." That might have actually been a good way of setting them apart from the lackadaisical Timon and Pumbaa -- except that in their very first scene they attempt to save a baby penguin from a shark and completely botch the whole thing by being complete cowards. And then when the penguin family gets upset and berates them for their piss-poor job, the movie has the audacity to frame this like we should feel sorry for them. Movie, I refuse to sympathize with them when all the criticism against them is CORRECT. Also sharks don't live in the arctic. Neither do walruses. Just throwing that out there.

From there they bump into Melody, and she convinces them to take her to Atlantica, since Morgana was an idiot for carving the map into an easily-breakable piece of ice. By the way, for the record, Dash is the only likable character in this entire movie, but even then that's not saying much when you consider I'm biased because of his VA. He's the one that actually agrees to help Melody because she's "a damsel in distress," and doesn't care that she's actually a human-turned-mermaid. Come to think of it, this could have been a really good analogy for trans youth, but that probably would have been way too complicated a subject for a shitty Disney sequel.

Also I was gonna skip this part but it's stuck in my head so I'd like to introduce you to the CATCHIEST AND MOST OBNOXIOUS SONG IN ANY MOVIE EVER. Like damn! That would be an accomplishment if it wasn't so terrible. And I'm not exaggerating; I'm completely immune to It's A Small World, but THIS? This garbage sticks to me like glue. (and if you decided to skip the song you now have It's A Small World in your head so either way you have to SUFFER WITH ME)

Ahem. Moving on.

The Three Stooges here finally make it to Atlantica, just barely missing Ariel, Triton, and Flounder going the other way. Flounder, in the past twelve years, has had about five annoying kids and developed a dad belly. It's not really relevant to anything but it's just hilarious to me that even fish can have dad bellies. But there's only a half hour of this turd left, so let's keep chugging along.

On their way into the palace they bump into a piece of-- what? Fish jailbait? Jail fish bait? Eh, whatever. THEY BUMP INTO THIS KID:

Yes, as a matter of fact it was. Even though Atlantica is clearly in tropical waters. Starfish, sea urchins, and crabs all live in tropical waters, whereas penguins live in colder climates. This geography is seriously messed up. I don't think anyone on the creative team even bothered to so much as glance at a map while making this -- which would also explain the terrible ice map, I suppose.

Melody swipes the trident and heads back to Morgana's lair. Cloak and Dagger, the two manta ray minions (I know, subtle), follow behind, and Ariel catches sight of them. She and Flounder in turn follow them, discovering the witch's hiding place in the arctic. Personally my first thought was "So, we've looked everywhere actually means except there because it's cold as balls and nobody wanted to?" but Ariel's a bit more focused than I was by this point.

Ariel tries to send Flounder back, to let Triton know where they are, but Flounder, being an idiot, says he won't let her go in there alone. DUDE. GO GET HELP. Who does, in fact, go to get help? Why Scuttle, of course!

And it's all your fault, bro.

Ariel rushes in in the nick of time to stop Melody from handing over the trident, but naturally the two of them get into the argument that puts the final nail in coffin. Melody actually says "You knew how much I loved the sea!" but I'd like to refer you back to the facts. Melody and Ariel never had an honest and open conversation about, well, anything. The closest evidence we have to support this statement is that Melody thought Atlantica was just an old fish tale, which means at some point Ariel told her stories about it and the mermaids. Otherwise there's just genetics: your mother's a mermaid so you must love the sea too. That's an awfully big leap. And there's the fact that Sebastian never told Ariel about Melody's adventures outside the wall. She had zero idea about any of it. So how could she have possibly known how much Melody loved the ocean, outside of sheer guesswork?

Oh, but "you know our daughter." Well if you SAY it it MUST be true!

By the by, Melody's little realization here of "I have made a horrible mistake" when she gives Morgana the trident is just priceless.

De-licious.

Finally we've reached the big battle. Morgana builds herself a big fuck-off tower of ice, and we're ready for action.

Scuttle, in a rare moment of non-stupidity, comes soaring in, tailed by Prince Eric's ship. Before blasting it to pieces Morgana asks, "Come to join the party?" and I have to agree; where the hell have you been for the last 40 minutes, anyway, Eric? ALSO

And I present you the only funny line in the movie:

...If it feels like I'm rushing through this it's only because I am.

After getting the trident, Morgana had sealed Melody and Flounder into an ice cavern. Unfortunately for her, Melody's two days are now up, and she turns back into a human in a chamber full of water. Tip and Dash rush in to save her, and come face-to-face with a full-sized Undertow. Through a not-at-all suspenseful sequence of the shark chasing them around, they manage to trick him into ramming the ice wall trapping Melody and Flounder, and get her back up to the surface. Where she just. wakes up. No coughing water or dizziness or trouble breathing. NOPE. Her eyes open as soon as she hits air and she's good to go.

Disney: showing the lighter side of almost drowning.

As Morgana fulfills her power fantasy of getting everyone to bow down to her and shrieking "WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE NOW, MA" (yeah I'm pretty sure it's still Ursula), Melody scales the ice tower in an attempt to retrieve the trident. If nothing else, this movie shows a very inaccurate portrayal of trying to walk on ice. Unsurprisingly, Melody succeeds and tosses the trident back to Triton, who seals Morgana in a block of ice to rest forever at the bottom of the sea.

So Ursula was literally stabbed through the chest with an entire boat and died but Morgana gets punked out in a block of ice? Weak.

The family reconciles, Melody takes the whole "grandfather" thing a little too well, and the movie ends with them tearing down the wall so the humans and merpeople can interact freely from now on.

I only have two questions before I finally shut up about this stupid stupid movie:

1. So does the whole kingdom just sort of take it in stride that a) merpeople exist and b) the prince married one? 2. How can a movie that's only an hour and ten minutes long sans credits feel SO MUCH LONGER

This whole thing was ridiculous from the jump. Who was demanding a sequel to the Little Mermaid of all freaking things? Who really wanted to see sequels to any of the movies from the Disney Renaissance? And there are quite a few of them. Like I said, some of them can be pretty enjoyable if you like cheesiness. But most of them are just terrible like this one, and if you're wondering whether you'll be seeing more of the Dark Age of Disney, don't worry. Their days will come.

[havocinthebluebox]

Tagged by @scarsoftheshatteredsky , @tasha-lemon and @ydobonmi to share some selfies. Thank you my dear 😽🖤. Sorry for the delay but I was in a ''wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face'' phase about myself lately... Having my hair done gave me a little boost. I wanted to look cute for autumn, my favorite season !

Pro : My hair is majestic ; notice the Lilith mug.

Cons : I was ill and still look a little bit like a corpse 😬.

Tagging @misfit-on-a-journey @a-pyre-of-doom @omarandjohnny @midnight-madonna @my-space-and-all-within @coldestcaress @hatant @zydrateplasma @rotting-deadnight-warrior @johnnysilvercock @demonindistress

If you want to show your awesome faces 🦇😺. Sending good vibes your way !

[havocinthebluebox]

A horned demon and her snoring demonic pet 🎃💀😼

[havocinthebluebox]

@a-pyre-of-doom tagged me to post a selfie and I had some free time (and if you know me, selfie tags + free time are bad news !)

So, I don’t know if I channeled more of a “tired nerd with no pants on pretends she is a squire” or more of a “local bard got her ways with some knight or lady and documented her escape because the wife/husband got home earlier than expected (0% regrets 100% would do it again)” energy but from now on it will be my new favorite outfit for teleworking.

Tagging : @tasha-lemon @omarandjohnny @misfit-on-a-journey @my-space-and-all-within @magical--wizard @scarsoftheshatteredsky @dumbbabyelfbitch @paon-de-jour @jine-openspace @papa-emeritus-has-my-soul @demonindistress if you want to !

[havocinthebluebox]

@hootsforce tagged me to post a selfie ! Thank you 😺💙

Working out and gardening in the morning (with the bonus petty but cuddly vengeance toward the dudette meowing like an unhinged lady in front of my door at 5, 6 and 7 in the morning) ; chilling and pursuing the Looking for a Job Quest in the afternoon, maybe with a beer later because it's important to stay hydrated ! Visited the troglodyte Maison Forte de Reignac yesterday and got more cards with knights for my collection. We also headed towards a chocolate museum. The stock might last until the papillottes season !

If you want to do this (and share your pretty faces 😽) @tasha-lemon @omarandjohnny @rapha-writes @deathuc @demonindistress @misfit-on-a-journey @a-pyre-of-doom @scarsoftheshatteredsky @hatant @eborane @my-space-and-all-within @midnight-madonna @dumbbabyelfbitch @coldestcaress I tag you !

[havocinthebluebox]

Tagged by the awesome @scarsoftheshatteredsky to post a selfie. Thank you ! ✨ Sorry but over the last few days I felt - and probably looked - like an undercooked crêpe in an oversized hoodie so I'll repost some pictures I love, from when it was not the case ! 🗡⚰️

Tagging @tasha-lemon @omarandjohnny @coldestcaress @misfit-on-a-journey @hatant @a-pyre-of-doom @dumbbabyelfbitch if you want to do this one, have fun ! 😽 idk who else wants to join the party but I tag you.

[havocinthebluebox]

The awesome @scarsoftheshatteredsky tagged me for a selfie ! Thanks dear 😉

Is there a german word for : being at the same time disheveled, hardly awake, ready to dive into the No Man's Land (aka the streets and work) and realizing your favorite shrug is now too big for you ? Cause that's what I felt this morning !

Tagging : the usual crew of mutuals - if you want to - @misfit-on-a-journey @magical--wizard @my-space-and-all-within @a-pyre-of-doom @tasha-lemon @demonindistress @omarandjohnny and I don't know who but if you want to you know what to do 😽🖤💙

[havocinthebluebox]

@misfit-on-a-journey tagged me to post some 2020 selfies. Let's say goodbye to this awful year and open a brand new book for 2021. Here we goooo !

Mind if I do a little summary of my year like you, @misfit-on-a-journey ? Tumblr.com is like the bar counter I like to slouch on to order a huge cup of tea or a beer after a long day, and talk into the great Internet vastness/the void ! I am still a little bit tipsy from New Years Eve (I spent it with two of my closest friends. I don't have many but I am delighted with this little bunch of geeks, metalhead and weirdos. I was so happy to begin 2021 like 2020, with them. I love them so much. Yup, this post is going to be a little bit cheesy.) 

So, things went pretty ugly for me at the end of 2019. I had to deal with the fact that the person I loved most in this world broke-up with me. It is quite something to see a huge part of your life falling appart like that. It stings. Actually, in the beginning, things did not feel that bad. I kept going to gigs to keep myself distracted and was serving some serious tough-girl bullshit, just womaning-up and following my path. But it took the first lockdown for me to see that I was still hurting, badly. That’s when the third picture was taken. Looking at it now, I love it, but I can’t help but shiver at what dwells in my eyes. I was so lost. I had to move from Brittany to be able to have a final internship as a publisher, and hate the city I currently live in with a burning passion. Hopefully, I am a loner so being on my own during lockdown/curfew is not that bad. I just worked, read, worked out and went for some strolls with my camera and was happy with that. Or tried to, since my glasses broke during second lockdown and I struggled with basic tasks of daily life. Not being able to go to gigs, festival, museums, expositions or see my friends for most of the year was not fun, I will be forever furious at the fact that I live in a country where places of worship reopened before cultural places but thats another story… Another thing happened that saved me from becoming a full time bitter grumpy lady : when I was younger my mother used to give me cameras she didn't use anymore and I liked to take pictures for a very long time but i thought for several years that I did not have what it takes to learn photography seriously. Bullshit. I kicked my ass and began to take pictures. First with my phone and then with the camera I bought. I still have a lot to learn but it made me feel so good. I think keeping my hands/eyes/mind occupied with something new played a great part in me healing and moving forward. Feeling more confident, free from some of the thoughts that felt so heavy in my mind. Things are far from being perfect, and anxiety is never far away from me, especially with my new job. I wont write hypocritical good resolutions here (but you can rest assured that yes, I will eat 5 fruits and vegetables a day, exercise on a regular basis and work for world peace !). I am glad I am able to love myself again. I am glad I have some awesome people in my life : throwing visio-aperitives with them, talking with them even if we were all apart from each other felt good ! I am glad I read some great books. I am glad I listened to awesome bands. I’ll just keep moving at my pace. So, if the worlds keeps sinking in 2021, at least I will be at peace with my true self, against all tides.

Tagging : @tasha-lemon @omarandjohnny @paon-de-jour @jine-openspace @my-space-and-all-within @magical--wizard @violet-hellfire @antikosmikprose​ @dumbbabyelfbitch​ @a-pyre-of-doom​ @scarsoftheshatteredsky​ you know the deal : only if you want to do this. And if anyone else is interested, say I made you do this !

[havocinthebluebox]

The awesome @a-pyre-of-doom​ tagged me for a selfie ! Thanks 😽🖤. Have a tired nerd in her natural habitat :

Before/after. A tragedy in two acts (to hell with classical theater rules !). You can pinpoint the exact moment I realised I forgot my cup full of tea on the kitchen counter, in front of the open window. For the second time in a row. It already happened yesterday. Iced tea is good, lukewarm tea is gross. Will our heroin learn from her mistakes and put the fucking timer to watch her next beverage ? You'll find the answer in the next episode !

I tag (if you are in the mood, if you want to do this !) : @omarandjohnny @tasha-lemon @magical--wizard @my-space-and-all-within @misfit-on-a-journey @rapha-writes @fitzchivalrysfool @paon-de-jour @scarsoftheshatteredsky @jine-openspace