#before that the farthest i got was the postal office

[haemosexuality]

OFF is like. a very boring game sorry

[jihyuncompass]

The Best

This is honestly probably my favorite thing I’ve written so far.  There’s a little bit of angst at the end, but it’s not much, I promise. 

Stay safe, stay healthy, and remember to wear a mask!

Mysme Week 2020 Day Five ( @mysmeweek2020 )

Quarantine 

V/Jihyun Kim x MC 

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: You and Jihyun do the best you can, for the world and each other.

Tying the ends of your mask you made certain that it was properly tightened. It was easy for it to slip down your nose if it wasn’t right so you had to be sure. Pulling on it just a little you deemed it tight enough for your face. Checking the time on your phone a rush of panic went through you. Even though you had carefully planned out how much time you would need to get ready you were already running late. 

Leaving the bathroom you went on a quest to find your boyfriend, hopefully he had been more aware of the time than you had been and was ready to head out the door. You called out his name a couple times, to no response. With a groan you went about the apartment opening doors. 

You found Jihyun in the small home office the two of you shared. It had originally been a storage room and a place where Jihyun would work on paintings if he couldn’t go to his studio for whatever reason. However, after Quarantine went into place and you started working from home you both decided to convert it into a workspace for you. 

Jihyun stood in front of a canvas, the end of his paintbrush touching his chin. He looked to be deep in thought and concentration. He also was wearing a pair of earbuds that made it impossible to hear out of. It was no wonder he couldn’t hear you calling his name. In an attempt not to make him make a mistake on his canvas you started flailing your arms to get his attention. You must have looked silly because when Jihyun finally noticed you he started laughing. 

Pulling the earbuds out of his ears he stopped his laughter to speak to you. “Are you alright my love?” You tried to ignore the way his laughter still gave you butterflies. 

“I was trying to get you attention, you can’t hear anything with those in.” You explained. A tinge of red went to the tips of Jihyun’s ears. 

“Ah.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry.” After setting down his paintbrush he rubbed the back of his neck. Looking at him you could assume he also hadn’t been paying attention to the time. 

“Jihyun do you know what time it is?” He had a moment of confusion and looked to your computer where he could see the time. Now the red had also spread to his cheeks as he realized just how much time has passed. 

“I must have lost track of time.” He muttered, mostly to himself, pulling off his painting smock; he wiped his hands off on a spare towel he kept next to his paint pallet. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” Stepping aside to let him leave the room he made a beeline for the bathroom. 

While you waited you checked on everything you needed to take with the two of you. You both tried to avoid going out as much as possible but today you had a few places you needed to go. 

Before everything went into lockdown the RFA had started meeting in person once a month. Partially as a way to get everyone together but also to be able to go over party plans together. Since you were instated as the party coordinator and Jihyun returned to his position as the leader and Representative the group decided it would be a good idea to branch out and expand. Hosting more events and more often. As great as this was for your organization it also meant more meetings would need to be held to go over details. 

After lockdown began you all decided to do virtual meetings instead. It was rocky at first, Zen had to use his phone since his computer was ancient, and no matter how hard Jumin tried he could never get his webcam to work properly. The Choi twins and Yoosung were really the only members who knew what they were doing. 

During the virtual meeting a week prior you all ended up going on a tangent about the current goings on in the world. Zen vented about how he wasn’t able to work, and how Jaehee’s cafe was struggling, the twins both tended to be homebodies anyway but it wasn’t hard to see how much Saeran was struggling with his mental health, and Jumin and Yoosung just seemed rather lonely stuck at home. While the meeting had been cathartic for all of you it planted a seed in your head, a seed that you and Jihyun spent the past week growing. 

Together the two of you created care packages for every member of the RFA, each one personalized for its recipient. There were homemade treats and snacks, a personalized mask that Jihyun made, handwritten cards, and small trinkets. Skincare masks for Zen, a Steam gift card for Yoosung, a matcha tea set for Jaehee, a book and homemade cat treats for Jumin, a long cat pillow for Saeyoung, and a cookbook and aloe vera plant for Saeran. The two of you even put together a package for Vanderwood, which you would give to Saeyoung to pass on. Even if it wasn’t much you both thought it might be a nice way to cheer up your friends and let them know you were thinking of them. After finishing putting them together last night you both agreed to take them today. 

Jihyun met you in the living room wearing fresh clothes, his face mask was one he made himself, a white cotton fabric with a cactus pattern. “Ready to go?” Jihyun asked. 

“Sure am, you take half and I’ll take half?” He agreed and you both grabbed your share of packages, balancing them in your arms as you both made your way to the front door. 

Earlier in the day you both mapped out the best route to take the packages in. Everyone lived pretty scattered about so you planned it strategically. The twins lived the farthest away so you wanted to go there first, then to Jaehee who would be at the cafe doing takeout orders. Then to Zen and Yoosung who actually lived fairly close to each other, and finally to Jumin who lived in the heart of the city. 

You texted Saeyoung once you were about twenty minutes away from their place. After reuniting with his brother, the two had decided to move into a different place that was less of a doomsday bunker. The place was still pretty much a fortress but it also had windows to let in natural light, and space for Saeran to grow a garden. 

Approaching the door slowly you used the code phrase Saeyoung gave you to let you knock on the door. You may have cursed a little at having to memorize the Arabic phrase but thankfully the system didn’t seem to care that you butchered the pronunciation. 

Setting down the free packages you both kept a safe distance from the door. Saeran answered the door wearing a black face mask. Saeran you knew had a particularly weak immune system so both of the twins were completely stuck at home. You couldn’t read his expression too well but considering the raise in his eyebrows he seemed happy to see you both. 

“Our parents are here!” Saeyoung shouted once he got to the front door. Calling the two of you his parents began as a joke that had sort of evolved into a habit. It annoyed the hell out of Saeran and made you and Jihyun laugh. 

“We thought you guys could use some care packages.” You said. “There’s one for each of you.” You could see both of their eyes light up as they picked up the boxes and looked inside. 

Saeyoung looked up first. “This is so awesome!” He pulled out the long cat pillow and held it close to his chest, practically bouncing on his feet. Saeran held his little plant in his hand. 

“Thank you.” Saeran said, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t one for many words but you could tell he was happy. 

“That third one is for Vanderwood.” Jihyun said. “We don’t know where they live so could you pass it on?” Saeyoung looked down at the last package. 

“I’ll make sure it goes through the God 707 Postal Service to one Mary Vanderwood III.” Saeyoung loudly joked. Jihyun looked at Saeran who was rolling his eyes. 

“Saeran?” 

“I’ll make sure it gets to them.” Saeran answered. 

After catching up for a moment you and Jihyun said your goodbyes and got back in the car to your next destination. 

You stopped inside Jaehee’s cafe, it was a little strange seeing the chairs stacked on the tables and the marks on the floor to indicate six feet of distance. You couldn't stay long but she greeted you warmly. After opening up her package she thanked you for the treats and for the matcha kit. 

“I’ve been considering getting one of these for myself. Thank you both.” Jaehee said, you saw her place the kit next to the coffee grinder Zen gave her before she opened her cafe. She sent you off with two coffees and pastries for the both of you. She had offered it as a gift but the two of you had insisted on paying it yourself. 

Zen was next, he had been hit particularly hard by the lockdown. With all of the shows cancelled he had lost almost all his work. To try and make up for some of the lost work Saeyoung had helped set up a way for him to do livestreams. It wasn’t much but it helped Zen’s confidence and made up for some of the lost income. 

He gave a big wave to the two of you. You and Jihyun sat at the top of the steps that lead down to Zen’s basement apartment. Zen looked up to you both while he opened up his box. The snacks in his box were more healthy than the other boxes on purpose. He seemed to notice this when he thanked you. 

The three of you spent some time talking and catching up. Zen talked about the livestreams he’d been doing. He started taking song requests where people could pay him to sing whatever they wanted. You and Jihyun had both watched whenever you had the time (and maybe requested a few songs for fun). He asked you and Jihyun about your lives and careers. You were still able to work and Jihyun was still able to paint, he had even started selling more of his works to support the two of you and to donate to good causes. In truth you had never seen him more determined and motivated.  

Yoosung was next, all his classes were online now which was quite the struggle for him. It was hard to think about doing coursework when LOLOL was right there. His studio apartment was also tiny which you knew made the lockdown worse. 

His relationship with Jihyun was still fairly rough. Still it was a thousand times better than it had been in the past. He seemed genuinely happy to see the two of you, but even happier to see the package that you brought for him. His package had a lot more essential items mixed in with the treats. 

Again you could only stay for a few minutes, but you talked about his classes and how he was doing. You could see how he was deflecting from talking too much about school but you both encouraged him to do his best and offered any help you could provide. 

Jumin was the last person on your list. You both kept in good contact with him, he didn’t say it but the both of you worried about him. He had Elizabeth the 3rd to keep him company but it wasn’t enough. The penthouse was a big and lonely place when Jumin was alone like this. 

The two of you also prepared some extra treats for the security guards at Jumin’s penthouse. While he had less staff than before he still had a couple that worked for him. The security thanked you graciously and let you into Jumin’s penthouse. 

Keeping a safe distance Jumin seemed very happy to see the two of you. Jumin, kind of like Saeran wasn’t one to show a lot of outward emotion but you could see a spark in his eyes that made him look more content. 

The cat treats were hit. Considering the way to Jumin’s heart was through his cat, seeing Elizabeth the 3rd pleased was more than enough for him. He also loved the cat paw print face mask that Jihyun made special for him. 

Considering it wasn’t a safe idea to share a bottle of wine, Jumin settled for giving you a bottle to have at home. With the bottle you also made a promise to video chat soon and drink together. The two of you spent more time with Jumin than you did with any of the others. And leaving Jumin’s was by far the hardest, Jihyun dragged his feet with leaving, coming up with more conversation topics to keep you both there, to spend a little more time with his best friend. By the time you actually left there were tears you saw welling in Jihyun’s eyes. Heading back to the car you held his hand to comfort him. 

“Are you okay my love?” You asked him standing beside Jihyun’s car, he took a deep breath in and wiped his eyes. It was muffled by the mask but you heard a sniffle come from him. Before he could answer your question you brought him into a tight hug, one hand was rubbing his back and the other running through his hair. 

“I think so.” Jihyun said. “I’m sorry for getting so emotional.” 

“There’s no need to apologize Jihyun, the RFA is our family and it’s hard not being able to be around them. There’s no shame in being sad about it.” Jihyun let out a shaky sigh. You held each other for a little longer before letting each other go. Though you couldn’t see through the mask by the look in his eyes you could tell he was smiling. 

“Thank you my love, I don’t know what I would do without you.” He said holding your hands in his. “It’s probably time for us to get to the community center right?” You checked the time and nodded. You spent more time with your friends than you planned so you needed to hurry. 

At the start of the lockdown the two of you both struggled with feeling helpless about what was going on. It was overwhelming seeing the news and feeling like there was nothing you could do. Trying to find something to do to fill your time the two of you started volunteering at the nearby community center, serving meals and giving supplies to those who were struggling to keep afloat. It was only a few hours a week but it helped the both of you with feeling just the tiniest bit better. 

After signing in as volunteers and getting your temperature taken, the two of you put gloves onto your hands and got to work. Today you were both assigned to fill and hand out cups of hot soup to those who came for a hot meal. 

Working together the time seemed to go fast, you greeted each person with a smile, making small talk with some of those who came by. After a few weeks you started to recognize some of the people who came frequently being able to greet them by name. 

One of the regulars, Ji-young approached the two of you with a wave, she was an older woman who you had grown pretty fond of. And she seemed to be pretty fond of the two of you. 

“Hi Ji-young, how are you doing this evening?” You asked her. 

“Getting by, you know how it is.” She shrugged. 

“I do know, Do you want some soup?” You motioned to the pot on the hot plate next to you. 

“Always. Thank you dear.” You pulled out a cup and used a ladle to pour the soup in, taking care not to drip or spill. Adding a lid to the top of the cup Jihyun tapped your shoulder. 

“The pots are almost empty, I’ll be right back with some more.” You nodded and watched him head to the back of the center. Turning back to Ji-young she was watching him walk away. 

“You know I’ve been coming here for the past few weeks and I just keep thinking about how cute the two of you are together. I miss being that young and in love.” Watching her Ji-young had this look of nostalgia in her eye. You could feel a blush in your cheeks where your mask covered your face. 

“Thank you, Jihyun’s one of the good ones.” You smiled, it didn’t matter how much time you spent together talking about Jihyun still made you smile and blush like a middle schooler with a crush. 

“Well, he’s got a good person by his side. You two are lucky to have each other.” 

“That’s very kind, thank you.” You said. 

Jihyun returned with a big pot held with two oven mitts. You removed the empty pot from the hot plate so Jihyun could put the fresh one on. 

“Did I interrupt something here?” Jihyun asked, he seemed to notice the blush that was probably visible on your ears. 

“Nothing much dear, just talking about you.” Ji-young teased. Jihyun looked over to you with his brow raised.

“All good I promise.” You said, waving him off with a wink. Now the both of you were flushed behind your masks. Smiling, you said goodbye to Ji-young so you could fill more cups. 

The rest of the evening went by in a blur, you hadn’t even realized how tired you were until you both got back to the car and you sunk into the seat. 

“Home?” Jihyun asked.

“Home.” You confirmed. Closing your eyes to get a little bit of rest on the way home. 

The first thing the two of you did when you closed the door to your apartment was take off your masks taking in a fresh breath of air. Going to the living room, you collapsed onto the couch and turned on the TV while Jihyun went to take a shower. 

The first thing on the TV was the news, too tired to try and change it you just let it play. As much as you tried not to pay too much attention to the newscaster it was hard to ignore. The newscasters listed endless numbers of new cases and deaths, and played frustrating interviews with politicians who gave no good answers, doctors who were begging people to be safe, and of course the people who claimed that the doctors were lying. 

Listening was overwhelming but you couldn’t force yourself to stop. Shouldn’t you know what’s going on? You should be paying attention to the news, but it all just felt. 

Too much. 

“Love?” Jihyun stood in front of the bathroom door, his hair was still dripping from his shower. He approached you slowly, looking at the TV. Realizing what was going on he took the remote and shut it off leaving you both in silence. 

“I hate this Jihyun.” You said staring at your shaking hands. Jihyun kneeled down to look you in the eye and took one of your hands in his.

“I know.” He said, his voice coming out just above a whisper. 

“I miss the RFA, I miss going out, I miss the RFA parties, I miss travelling.” You said, your voice breaking. “I miss everything.”

Jihyun squeezed the hand he was holding and with his other he wiped away the tears slipping out. “I miss all those things too, but this isn’t forever. We’ll be able to do all those things again, but I know it’s hard right now.” 

“I wish I could do more, I feel so powerless.” Sobs racked your chest, you could barely see Jihyun through your teary eyes. 

“You’re doing more than enough my love.” He moved up and wrapped his arms around you holding you tight. You clung to him trying to stop your hands from shaking. “I know how easy it is to put the weight of the world on your shoulders and think you have to fix it all.” He held you tighter, his own voice breaking. “I used to think that I had to fix everything by myself, even the things I had no control over.” Slowly he leaned back so he could look you in the eyes, his thumbs brushing tears away. “But then, like an unexpected miracle from heaven, you came into my life. You taught me that I don’t have to fix everything and that I don’t have to carry my burdens alone.”  He kissed your forehead, then moved back to look at you. 

“Jihyun.” You whispered. 

“The truth is, this isn’t something you can fix by yourself. This isn’t something any of us can fix on our own.” Jihyun said. 

“Then what do we do?” You asked him. He leaned forward and enveloped you in a warm and gentle kiss. He pressed his forehead against yours. Whispering his next words. 

“We do the best we can.” You brought him into another hug. You felt yourself grow calm, now just tired, your eyelids were growing heavy. 

“I love you Jihyun. Thank you.” He rubbed your back turning his head to press a kiss to your temple. 

“I love you too. Why don’t we get you cleaned up and go to bed? We’ve had a busy day.” Still holding him, you nodded and let him lead you to the bathroom, holding his hand tight.

A week later you went to get your mail. Finding five packages waiting for you and Jihyun. Thank you cards, and care packages from your fellow RFA members. A smile crossed your face as you carried them all up to your apartment to open with your boyfriend. 

You, Jihyun and the rest of the RFA keep going forward. Jihyun worked with some of his fellow artists and old photography friends to do a virtual charity art show with the proceeds going to research. You and the rest of the RFA plan a socially distant RFA charity drive for those in need, partnering with C&R to gain more attention. 

You all take it day to day, one step at a time, and together,

You do the best you can.