#before i took it i had a big meltdown bc my pi asked all us grad students if we could come in and do seedling measures
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#aaaaahaha what a day#one exam down. it was... okay. at least i hope...#i opened it up and didnt immediately kno the answers so i started crying but i think i sorted it out#i always feel like ive done terrible on exams tho so idk#before i took it i had a big meltdown bc my pi asked all us grad students if we could come in and do seedling measures#which takes abt 4hrs and i wasnt planning on it so had to spend a good while sobbing abt it before agreeing to go in#i feel bad abt going in for measuments as well bc i was in like: dont talk to me i want to curl up into a ball mode#like ya kno when ur tongue just feels heavy and u dont wanna talk? yeah that was me#and i dont talk much anyway in situations with more than 1 other person but like i dont kno how that comes off#like does it make me seem standoffish? bc i was just trying not to start crying#im v tired now. too tired to study for other exam tomorrow so fuck me i guess#also as it stands now it doesnt seem like ill be going home for Christmas....#and like theres not any real reason exept that im so tired and i dont have the energy to buy tickets. drive to the next city over and#navagate the airports while feeling guilty the whole way bc pandemic#but like thats also a pretty selfdestructive move bc if i stay here ill keep working all thru the holidays#and im so tired#and i havent seen my family since the summer. we dont really talk much while im not there#and id like to see some snow but again im so tired. id rather sit on the ground crying that actually take the steps to go home#so i dont kno whats gonna happen but this sucks#whatever. i just have to get thru Friday and then the semester is done#unrelated
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