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loove-persevering · 5 years ago

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Safe Havens

Chapter 1- Heartbreak Hotel

Description: Y/N loves to love danger aka Billy Hargrove, but loving him also leads to a lot of heartbreak. Then comes in Steve Harrington offering Y/N a offer she can’t wait to use against the man who broke her heart, but what happens when things get real? What happens when feelings come about she can’t deny? Who is Y/N’s safe haven? (Steve x reader, reader x Billy love triangle! :) )

I think I’m going to post songs that go along with chapters let me know if you guys like that? Song for this chapter is Falling For Boys - Julia Michaels

From the day Billy Hargrove stepped out into that parking lot rocking double denim you knew he was going to be someone important to you. You knew that the whole bad boy thing was just a facade, nobody could be that cruel right? Right, you were right. Billy was sweet at heart but he just kept up this big man persona so nobody would mess with him and boy did it work. Nobody messed with Billy, everyone seemed scared of him or intimidated of him or they were swooning over him.

When Billy first came up to you he was an asshole and you for a second thought that you had made a mistake in saying that maybe he wasn’t all bad. Flash forward a few weeks and a few conversations later during English and you knew that he had a different side to him, one that was more gentle and more caring than what he ever dared to show.

That was the thing though you got to learn Billy and in return he got to learn about you too. He was so attentive to whatever you told him remembering small details about you that you wouldn’t have thought were significant but to him they were. He learned about your not so good home life and your alcoholic dad that sometimes got a little too rough when he had drank too much, and Billy was protective of you because of that. Before Billy you were the girl in the back who had friends but only a select few and you seemed to have a picture perfect life but that wasn’t the case. When Billy came along you finally felt important, felt like someone cared when you were sad, you felt like someone was rooting to make you happy and for that to be Billy Hargrove was unexpected.

After a few months of getting to know each other Billy made it official, and since then things had been great. On nights when your dad was out of hand you’d stay at Billy’s on nights when his dad was pushing his buttons he came to yours simple as that. You became a safe haven for each other, somewhere safe to go when the rest of the world was too much.

Tonight Billy was bringing you to a party, it was suppose to be the biggest one of the year...again. Tina hosted a lot of parties and they were all great each one exceeding the next. The last one you went to was the Halloween Party, which was right around the time Billy came to town and basically became the Keg king surpassing Steve Harrington. You had been ready for a while just sitting and reading a magazine waiting on Billy to come get you, three flicks of the light was to signal he was here. Your dad was passed out in the living room about ten bottles of beer next to him too, if you woke him up you knew things wouldn’t go so well.

After a while you see the three lights flicker signaling Billy was here and you rush to the window sliding it up at softly as you could so it wouldn’t make the squeaking sound it normally did. After that you slip through the window onto the deck of the front of your house, you shut the window and quickly make your way to Billy’s car. When you get in he looks at you with a smile leaning over and kissing you causing a blush to rise to your cheeks, ‘’You look good,’’ He says pulling away and then leaning into kiss you again lingering a little this time. ‘’Really good.’’

You smile giving him a shove, ‘’Hurry up before he sees the lights,’’ You say smiling over at him. He smiles putting his hand against the back of your headrest and turning around making sure he doesn’t hit anything. ‘’How was your day?’’ You ask him.

He pulls out onto the road before he slams his foot down on the pedal making you glare over at him, he knew that you hated when he would speed. ‘’You’re cute you know?’’ He asks laughing, ‘’It was kind of sucky better now that you’re here.’’ He tells you making you laugh, you playfully swing your hair over your shoulder batting your eyes at him and he laughs. You could tell something was ‘’See you know you’re cute,’’ He says. ‘’Listen though, I heard this party is gonna be the craziest yet, so if you need me find me okay?’’ He says and you felt your heart swell, this was the sweet Billy that you got the privilege to see the one that was closed off to the rest of the world.

‘’Gotcha Captain,’’ You say laughing.

After a short drive there you finally made it to the party and as soon as you got out of the car Billy’s hand found yours guiding you through the mess of sweaty bodies. You make it out back everyone greeting Billy with a holler near the keg, he smiles at you and you nod at him encouraging him to go over and say hello to them. You look around trying to find your friend Danielle in the crowd, you knew she would already be here waiting for you as she was always usually one of the first to show up.

You spot her around a crowd of boys giving them her best flirtatious smile, she finally spots you and makes her way over to you, you could smell the alcohol on her. ‘’You okay?’’ You ask wrapping your arm around her as she stumbles over to you.

‘’Fine,’’ She says. ‘’Seizing the day,’’ She says laughing. ‘’Let’s go get you a drink,’’ She says making her way inside to the kitchen. You walk in and she immediately shoves a drink in your hand, your felt your ears ringing from the music and you look around finally getting a view of who was at the party. You saw everyone that normally came this time a few more faces than usual as expected.

You take a swing of the drink scrunching your face up as you feel the burn in your throat on the way down, whoever made this stuff knew what the hell they were doing. ‘’Strong stuff,’’ You cough wiping your mouth with your sleeve.

She dips her cup back in filling it almost to the top before chugging it once again, ‘’Exactly,’’ She says smiling at you.

‘‘You gotta slow down, tonights just begun!’‘ You say laughing you reach over grabbing the cup from her pouring the rest into your cup and she pouts, ‘‘Let’s go out back,’‘ You say laughing. You both make your way out back to cheering. You see Billy fall down carefully to the ground blowing out the rest of the alcohol from the keg once again topping his last time, he looks over meeting your gaze and runs over to you wrapping you in his arms and lifting you slightly. When he sits you down he puts his hands on your face pulling you in for a kiss, ‘‘Billy,’‘ You say pulling away not able to hide your smile, he smirks at you wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. This was how it felt to have it all, but little did you know that tonight you’d know what it would feel like to lose some of that

___________

A few hours later you were inside dancing with Danielle to Sweet Dreams by The Eurythmics. You had a drink in hand and were swaying back in fourth laughing with her as she danced along side you, she sobered up a little thanks to your close watch but she was still way out of it. Billy had told you to stay close but you hadn’t seen him in a while which was odd usually he stayed near because he knew you didn’t like big crowds. ‘’I’m gonna go find Billy!’’ You yell at her over the music and she gives you a nod continuing to dance.

You once again make your way out back toward the keg where you last saw him, he wasn’t there. ‘’Anybody seen Billy?’’ You ask and you heard a few echoes of laughter and you scrunch up your face in confusion. One of the guys gestures over to the shed in the yard and you make your way over. You lift the latch when you get there and hear a bunch of movement, when the door opens your mouth drops in shock. Billy stood on one side of the shed and Tonya Larson stood on the other side her lipstick a little smudged and the button of her shirt unbuttoned a little to low.

You look back over at Billy who also had a smudge of lipstick on his face he takes his hand up to his mouth to wipe it off. ‘’Piece of shit,’’ You mutter under your breath. You take a step back slamming the door shut and turn around ready to leave, you hear it open back up and the familiar sound of your now ex-boyfriend.

‘‘Y/N,’’ You hear his voice sounding low, ‘‘Y/N,’‘ You hear him say it louder. ‘‘Y/N’‘ He says finally catching up to you his arm wrapping around your wrist. He pulls on it and you turn around immediately bringing your hands against his chest pushing him away from you.

‘’Don’t touch me!’‘ You yell at him. ‘‘You don’t get to touch me!’‘ You yell at him attracting a few stares from around the party.

‘‘Just give me one minute,’‘ He says.

You let out a laugh, ‘’A minute? That’s all you need?’’ You ask him. Did he think an I’m sorry would fix this? You turn away from him making a straight line for the door, on your way out you run into someone, ‘’Sorry,’’ You mutter out taking your sleeve up to your eyes to wipe away the tears that had began to fall. A few seconds later you finally make it out the door but that also meant Billy was right behind you still trying to get your attention.

‘’Y/N, I can explain that.’’ He says arrogantly.

You turn around realizing now how close he had been following, you raise your hand up pointing back to the party, ‘’How? How can you explain that?’’ You ask him. ‘’How can you explain that Billy?’’ You ask hearing the shakiness in your voice as you do.

‘’I just-’’ He begins to explain but you cut him off.

‘‘You can’t explain that Billy, it’s not anything I want to hear.’‘ You tell him and you see a glimpse of sadness on his face. ‘‘I wanted everyone to be wrong about you,’‘ You tell him. ‘‘But everyone was right and I was really really hoping they would be wrong,’‘ You tell him and he takes a step closer making you step back. ‘’Gosh Billy you had to do that?’‘ You tell him wiping the tears from your face. ‘‘You’re a piece of shit,’‘ You say to him. ‘‘You ruined it Billy.’‘

‘‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m drunk for God’s sake Y/N, ’‘ He says clutching his head with his hand.

‘‘That’s bullshit Billy! That’s not an excuse! ’‘ You yell at him, you move forward shoving him once more. You continue shoving him until you felt yourself collapse against his chest, he had his arms around you and was holding you until you realized he didn’t get to be the one to do that anymore, you push yourself away from him once again this time for the last time. ‘‘Don’t follow me,’‘ You say as stern as you could.

‘’How are you gonna get home?’’ You hear him yell out.

‘‘Not your problem anymore,’‘ You say simply. You were happy you wore comfortable shoes because this was going to be a long walk. You couldn’t help but hope that Billy would come down the road to give you a ride and tell you how sorry he was but that didn’t happen and you couldn’t help but hate yourself for it.

That didn’t stop you from getting excited when a car pulled up on the side of the road, but when you got a glimpse of it you knew that it wasn’t Billy’s car. They slow down falling in pace next to you, ‘’I know how to kick someones ass if I need to,’’ You say staring straight ahead.

‘‘That doesn’t tell me much considering I’ve never won a fight in my life,’‘ You heard the familiar voice. You bend down slightly noticing Steve Harrington to be the driver. ‘‘Need a ride?’‘ He asks one of his hands on the steering wheel the other on the passenger side headrest.

You continue to walk in silence unsure if you should take the offer or not, ‘’Why would you offer me a ride?’’ You finally ask him crossing your arms over your chest.

‘‘It’s cold, you’re by yourself, and you look like you could use a friend.’‘ He simply says. You stop walking and stand there for a few seconds before letting out a sigh, if you didn’t accept his offer who knew how long it would take you to get home.

‘’Only because I’m cold.’’ You say. He says reaching over to open the door, you quickly get in shutting it and rub your hands up and down your arms. Steve hadn’t taken off yet but was looking at you an odd expression on his face, ‘’You gonna drive or?’’ You say looking at him skeptically.

‘‘Right,’‘ He coughs putting the clutch in drive and slowly takes off. You both sat in silence for a few minutes just driving down the long road, ‘‘How do I get to your house?’‘ He asks.

‘’Oh,’’ You pause remembering now he was basically driving blind, ‘’Uh take a left at the second light up here,’’ You say gesturing with your hand.

He nods his head and then glances over at you, ‘’I have some tissues if you need them..’’ He points out. He already had them in his cup holder and he hands you the small package making you laugh.

‘‘Thanks,’‘ You say pulling one out wiping beneath your eyes no doubt catching the mascara that had dripped down your face. ‘‘For this and the ride,’‘ You clarify. ‘’I would’ve been walking forever,’’ You say.

Just as you finish talking Steve speaks up, ‘’Listen I gotta be honest, I gave you a ride home because I have a question for you.’’ He says sounding nervous.

You stop wiping your face and look over at him skeptically just as you come to a red light. You got a little distracted at the car that had pulled up next to you their music blaring and you noticed it was a few kids from the party. You knew one of the guys because they were friends with Billy and you silently curse to yourself knowing that he would probably tell him he saw you with Steve, ‘’Shit,’’ You say falling further back into the seat.

The light turns green and the car speeds off next to you, you let out a sigh knowing that no doubt him seeing you with Steve was going to cause even more drama. ‘’Anyway,’’ You heard Steve let out a deep breath, ‘’The question,’’ He says reminding you.

‘‘Oh yeah, what about it?’‘

‘‘I know this sounds a little far fetched but bare with me okay?’‘ He says and you scrunch your eyebrows together confused as could be but nod telling him to continue, ‘‘Would you fake date me?’‘ He asks and your eyes go wide.

What the hell?

PERMANENT TAG LIST: @l-ivingformendes , @queenbbarnes , @gwenebear ,@depressed-comics , @yoheyyosup (Let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

#steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington angst #billy #Billy Hargrove #billy stranger things #billy hargove x reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things show #stranger things imagine #steve stranger things

104 notes · View notes

twiddlebirdlet · 6 years ago

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Post Digest

I had so many posts yesterday, and I could not possibly answer them all in this lifetime. My apologies for not addressing these, but here they are.

The words belong to the anonymous original writers. They do not reflect my opinions. My posting of them doesn’t imply any endorsement.

· Anonymous said:

Chris really is trash for ruining another relationship maybe him and Jordyn woods can join the home wrecker club

· Anonymous said:

Mood, give up. People will blame you, the girl, the weather, everything but Chris, who could have easily avoided any assumption by not taking the pics. Pics with kids, pic of dog, hospital visits, videos for sick children all this is good PR and he used in the past. But where is the good on taking pics with dancers? They were not fans. He is not helping to make them being respected or less objectified. He is not bringing any discussion about their work conditions to the table.

· Anonymous said:

People saying this is nothing how do they explain her boyfriend deleting all of her pix? If it was nothing if she wasn’t with him why is boyfriend reacting that way?

· Anonymous said:

That girl was so completely lusting after Chris in her pics and posts that I think she absolutely would jump out of her current relationship if Chris so much as blinked her way. She was going to go anywhere he was. I will wait to see what happens but it looks like Chris may have made another poor decision. Why is this man so intelligent in some things but when it comes to women he is just so way off? If he thought SSH was bad, just wait for a young social media millennial. Disaster.

· Anonymous said:

Bella & her bf are still following each other on Instagram. Maybe he deleted those photos of her as a way of protecting her? Maybe he didn't want to make his Insta private & thought this would be a better way of doing things. In any case, he doesn't seem angry enough at her to unfollow her. But I don't think they broke up before the Chris thing, as he still had their professional couple photos up & they were still posting gushy comments to each other. So it's still weird and suspicious.

· Anonymous said:

What is up with Chris and taken women

· Anonymous said:

So I guess Chris really is a home wrecker

· Anonymous said:

I just want to say thank you for all the information you're providing about this whole Chris situation. I'd rather have the full (or as full as we can get it) story with all the pieces together so I can make up my own mind what to think, vs bits and pieces and people misreporting information that they heard third hand, etc. So your summary post with receipts was very much appreciated by me.

· Anonymous said:

To me the whole intern thing just seemed like she was trying to be linked to him judging by the times the ig pics went up. I guess everyone has their own opinions I know people who have basically said it was nothing and refused to talk about it but if it was someone else they would be all over it. It seems with him people pick and choose what issues of his they want to discuss. All of just seemed iffy especially know knowing that her bf deleted her pics. Hope you're have a lovely day.

· Anonymous said:

I’m worried about the people worried about your health. They’re so invested in this celebrity that they are policing your blog. He’s a successful, famous actor. He has a whole team of people to handle this. And, none of those people are contacting you...

· Anonymous said:

I don't get anons coming in here and complaining that you answering asks about the saturday night events is somehow blowing this thing up and causing drama. This anon should go to twitter where there are accounts that tag CE, JS, enty and provoking more and more ridiculous accusations, including Chris roofying Bella's drink etc. Twiddle at least sticks to things we can prove so if you wanna complain, go there and set these people straight. They make real damage not anonymous tumblr

· Anonymous said:

The boyfriend could just be fed up with her throwing herself at ce and then getting comments forcing him to go private. That would be enuf for a 20 yr old in a long distance relationship. Doesn’t mean she is shaking up with ce. He’s too paranoid to do that

· Anonymous said:

From what I've seen on Twitter, there's a little bit of talk about the burlesque aspect of it (mostly "Ugh, you're all such prudes, get over it!") but no one seems to be picking up on the intern part of it except for like 3 people. I'm torn. I kind of want to see him get shit for this, because he was very stupid and irresponsible, but OTOH I'd hate to see what kind of PR crap his people will pull up to distract everyone. A PRomance with Brie Larson, perhaps.

· Anonymous said:

Just a funny coincidence but it appears her (ex) bf and Chris share the same birthday lol. But either way not looking good. We can only speculate but it looks like her ex bf/bf didn't like her behavior towards him or something really did go down. 🦊

· Anonymous said:

I think everyone needs to accept their portion of responsibility in this situation. The people that harassed or contacted the interns, the girl and the performers need to respect boundaries. I understand you posts Anons, but you also decide which and how many. Yesterday you provided a platform and it had consequences, people felt emboldened and crossed lines. I think everyone can learn from this experience and correct their future behavior.

· Anonymous said:

So you keep saying your not sure if mark was there when multiple people keep saying he was.YOU keep saying that the pics were taking at the same or about the same time but theres no proof that they were. YOU keep putting out info that isnt accurate or just coincidental. that girl bf realise his gf is a thirsty ass and she got what she got but it doesnt mean anything happen between her and chris. NOTHING HAPPEN WITH THE INTERN STOP SPREADING SHIT!!

· Anonymous said:

I think the bf just wanted people to stop harassing him about her so he did that instead of privatize. Seemingly less like a breakup.

· Anonymous said:

It’s possible and probable her boyfriend deleted any pictures of her/them because he was tired of being harassed and getting bombarded with comments. He still follows her. He could have just muted the comment section, but maybe he was hoping by doing that it would help this all die down, and for people to lose interest. Which is laughable, because this particular fandom has a hard time letting go. Either way, I don’t necessarily think this is the beginning of a new relationship for Chris.

· Anonymous said:

Sending you love! I truly enjoy your blog and your commentary. What you wrote about your struggles with OCD resonates with me (I had anxiety issues as a teenager. Mild in comparison to some, but they dominated my life). I will try not to clutter your inbox from now on, but, please know you are appreciated and I love the discussions we have here.

· Anonymous said:

I think that putting the blame on this or other blog is a total waste of time. You know what would have avoided all this? Not taking those pics. How hard would be for him to STOP doing something that is doing no good to him? As you said, nothing positive comes out of this. He is not attending the ask of a cute kid. He is not visiting a hospital. He is helping a club to promote their name, something totally uncessary for an actor who reached his fame.

· Anonymous said:

The intern thing didn't make the rounds in the internt, but the meeting with Dan Creshaw did. Chris is being criticized for that and for the twitter interaction.

· Anonymous said:

Oy, its looking like she really did risk it all. Dumb childish mentality, what did anybody honestly expect from this situation? That poor boyfriend.

· Anonymous said:

I don't think it's a proof that something happened between her and Chris but for sure her bf (probably now ex) didn't aprove her behaviour and probably he thinks that some limits were crossed. I have to admit that I would not like to have a bf acting like that around a famous woman or any other woman and leaving traces in SM which is worse. I really, really hope that Chris is smart enough to stay away from that or another kind of fame will get attached to him besides the "f*ck boy" image.

· Anonymous said:

WHOA! Deleting all her pics? Does that mean Chris successfully ruined another relationship??? Whuut!?

· Anonymous said:

You are very kind and your head is definitely on straight. You’re less of an “opinion” blog and almost more of a news blog anyways. Don’t listen to the haters. You aren’t being overly invested, cruel, silly, or anything else. I’ve always found you to be fair.

· Anonymous said:

I looked at mark’s following list and he followed one other intern (a girl) who was also in the city but didn’t post from the box!

· Anonymous said:

Tbh, good for her bf-her behavior (the comments) were completely inappropriate IF in a relationship, long distance or not. Unbelievably disrespectful to him. Hope her thirstiness was worth losing a relationship and (maybe) an internship. I am several years older, but there is no way I would have behaved that way during my college internship. Morality clauses apply to personal time as well.

· Anonymous said:

Omg he deleted every pic with her. So now we know for sure that something happened that night lol

· Anonymous said:

And now apparently twitter thinks harpy was there with Chris and they're back together. Oh for fuck's sake!

· Anonymous said:

It's funny because many Chris instagram fan accounts just share the pic of him and the black singer/stripper but skip posting the other with the women group with clothes close to the nothing that they find I guess too trash for share with their followers in saying Chris with a fan in NYC without details.

· Anonymous said:

In the name of everybody sorry for the large number of asks we sent you and the tiredness we,people agree or not agree, have caused you. We don't think when we send you an ask that you will receive many, everybody, after seeing one and your answer, wanting share their opinion about what an anon or you said even if it's for exprime our agreement. It's a circle without end. I hope you had a good night. Let's forget that,this girl is history now,the fire is extinguished now. Kiss

· Anonymous said:

I've been seeing this gifset on my dashboard lately from Chris' interview captioned "I'm smarter than I look". No idea if the quote is real because I've never seen this particular interview but I think given the turn of events of the past few days it's appropriate to say "no, Chris, you aren't" LOL

· Anonymous said:

Ok, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this whole messy situation really turns me off. I've always known Chris isn't a saint, that he's NOT Steve Rogers irl, going to clubs like The Box is not a new thing for him, but he should've known better. I want to believe he's not that dumb, but he's THAT dumb. This is really upsetting and I'm so disappointed. After all those good days working on a serious project in DC, does he really not care about his image being sleazy like that? Damn it, Chris.

· Anonymous said:

So Chris alone went to greet the dancers? From what Manuel submitted, that’s what it seems like. She wasn’t there with him and his friends exactly, but somehow found out where they were and met up with them? I’m so over talking about this. Idk how you’ve done this all day Twiddle. My bedtime prayer is dedicated to you tonight.

· Anonymous said:

Thank you Twiddle for taking your time to answer here and on DM. I know you also do it so that you will be best informed to answer any questions here, we appreciate that some took the time to gather more information for the rest of us. It seems like at the end of these gossip we all end up confirming our first guest. I feel we shouldn't give this girl more room. My conclusion for the day is either he never thought that girl was that thirsty or he's really just dumb. I'm going with cute but dumb

· Anonymous said:

It's not a great look for him to be pictured at places like that, particularly when he's employed by a family-friendly company like Disney. He's been obsessed with protecting his image ever since he got the role of Cap. Btw, I am not surprised he goes to places like that but you'd think he'd be smart enough not to get his picture taken.

· Anonymous said:

Have people forgotten that one of these thirsty hanger-on types (just like this intern seems to be) is someone who sent a video of Chris to tmz? I mean, he wasn't doing anything bad-just partying it up after a super bowl and he looked like a drunk frat boy. But even that got a dodger pic response. My point is that he should be smarter about people around him, especially when he's drunk.

· Anonymous said:

Denying pics comes with its own risks. You don’t want to piss people off because that can have its own dangers. This has happened with other celebs. There have been several occasions where his pics have been in return for free bottle service or other perks. I am not saying that is the case here though. Not trying to argue with you mod, just saying it’s not black and white. A lot of mistakes were made here and the worst part is how avoidable it was. But most seem to hinge on Bella’s actions. 🐩

· Anonymous said:

Mark follows a few of the interns from DC, 2 of whom (Bella & another woman) posted from NYC Saturday night & this evening. Also a few of Mark's friends are NYC as well. It's not far fetched that going to The Box was his idea. Also Mark would've needed to make a reservation to ensure they got in.

· Anonymous said:

I think you hit the nail. What Chris gets from taking those pics? For sure he is being polite and the people involved get happy but taking how society works and how many people think and what they can do with that information, he got nothing good on posing for those pics. And saying that is just pointing out and realising how society works. People are hypocrite and mysoginist.

· Anonymous said:

I feel you on the eating away at your Sunday. It’s not my blog and even *I* can’t believe how much time I’m devoted to this, much less the swamp you must be dealing with. Really appreciate your views and your time. I feel so silly that I’ve gotten so caught up in it but it’s like a car accident you can’t turn away from. Get some rest and lots of love. 🐩

· Anonymous said:

People been posting Info but clearly no one believes it. That tree anon mention it.

· Anonymous said:

People who are saying Mark was there and that she was there with a group of friends are just assuming as much as anyone else who says Chris and the girl were there with each other. The only thing we know for sure is that they were both on the same place, at the same night, around the same time, after meeting the day before. We can't deny that.

· Anonymous said:

I’d like to say this girl blew her chances but this is the same guy who gave MK & JS multiple chances despite their fame whoring ways. Whatever it is it won’t last long but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re seen together again. Too bad. His political project was exciting. Now it’s tainted because he’s proven what a lot of people thought of him to be true.

· Anonymous said:

You need to let it go now. This is a non story. It’s looking more like two separate trips were in the works and it was a “oh hey us too maybe we’ll see you we were thinking of checking out this club” now apparently you think because he’s ancient and she’s an impressionable child and burlesque shows are akin to live porn he should have shut it down. But those of us in the common sense world see this for what it was. Which is a giant nothing. So tip to TMZ. Guarantee they will think the same.

· Anonymous said:

For gods sake. Read and post my second ask to you. Stop all this madness. Yes they know each other. That is it. They were at same club and of course hung out a little. So what They met at first dc meet I think. He was nice to her She was nice back. Nothing wrong with people meeting and being cool. Even if famous

· Anonymous said:

Maybe I should rewrite this but Your acting as they were they in DC together. They MET and photographed but wasnt there together as Your wording puts it. Like I said you dont know of they were backstage together. Pics can be upload at any time of the night . Your just jumping to conclusions like everyone else.

· Anonymous said:

The way some of you talk about women is so damn depressing ugh this fandom is on one today.

· Anonymous said:

Liked what the PR/crisis anon mentioned, that it's wrong to think Chris was uninvolved in JS and MK's stunts when he dated them. It's naive to think he is that helpless and easily controlled.

· Anonymous said:

What i really don't understand is how chris could have been so so dumb and didn't think of the consequences. Also his pr underestimated the whole situation. The girl was blatantly seeking attention and a story to tell, and any person with a brain would have got the danger of the all situation. I know that he loves partying but he was so superficial i can't even put into words. In my opinion the project has been hurt by this and everything happened today showed that.

· Anonymous said:

2/2) as if he wanted to do that. I doubt he asked, but was asked to do it. 3) The girl jumped on the chance to go backstage after the invitation and took the pic. 4) People put the pieces together because the girl was thirsty the day before and liked the attention she got from her friends but now there is a chance she ruined the trip a little as people ran to protect their privacy.

· Anonymous said:

I think if Chris wants to be taken seriously in what ever he decides to do. He needs to grow up and act his age and stop drinking as much and hang around different people that includes his friends from Boston. I feel most of his friends are just there for the ride including Tara. If he does ever get married she will have to trust him to no end.

· Anonymous said:

"it's not at all weird for people here on a blog that is predominantly about Chris to talk more about chris' antics than about anyone else's. It doesn't mean they're more worried or think what he's done is worse, it's just that this blog is a place to talk about him more than anyone else. Nice try though." Nice try what? If you read the full ask, as Chris's fan, I'm more concerned that's he's doing publicity pics with treasonous Nazis than hanging at a burlesque show w/ an intern. But you do you

· Anonymous said:

Hi! Sorry for this question but I just don´t understand what is going on here with Chris and this intern? I try to scroll down your page but I still don´t understand what has happened.

· Anonymous said:

Some who don't have problem that Bella flies to NY and post the picture at the same place where was Chris was the first to be offend that Jenny posts pic when she was at the same place that Chris whereas she was dating him. Be careful anons I'm not a pro Janey but people were rude with her when it was normal(even if she trolled), she was spending time with his boyfriend but when another women did the same, without dating him, they think it's okay. Why?

· Anonymous said:

I'm genuinely curious about what kind of impression he was trying to make on her? like you wanna hook up with this chick & you're letting her know that you like to gawk at other half naked chicks in your free time? Unfortunately this will never blow up, if his PR team can bury homewrecker scandal then they can bury anything.

· Anonymous said:

He seems to unconsciously be attracted to attention-seeking women who view him as a prize. I wonder if it’s a defense mechanism to prevent him from entering a serious relationship? Also, seriously, why wouldn’t you just make it clear to her that she shouldn’t post their escapades on social media from the start? Has he learned nothing from the Jobby debacle????

· Anonymous said:

Okay, from her comments and that pose, that's a girl that has no problem pushing someone out the way to get noticed. Like the pic, the side she was on was trying to get four people in, compared to the 3 on the other, so they had to turn sideways. I can see her making sure she was the one next to him. She didn't have to put her hand on his shoulder or stomach. She was trying for his attention. Did she get it? Don't know. Don't really care, but that's a college-age Janey. Just want that fame.

· Anonymous said:

Now that there are pics of them together and seeing the way she's posing with her hands on his chest and shoulder (it is very reminiscent of SSH, isn't it? Which would hurt if I was js lol) taken with the comments from her and her friends, all I can say is YIKES. And also, SMH. I am not a prude and I actually like burlesque and have been to The Box and fully expected him to hook up with somebody in DC ~on the low~ but even I can say this is not a good look for him. This boy will never learn.

· Anonymous said:

I’d like to think that he’d cut all ties to Bella now the he’s created a PR nightmare for himself, yet again. But considering for almost 3 years he was involved with a woman who was married when they originally met & got involved, I don’t think he will care. At least Jenny was almost the same age as him. He’s looking like an upgraded version of Dane Cook. For anyone who doesn’t know, Dane Cook’s girlfriend is 19, they started dating when she was 18, but were “friends” before that 🙄🤢

· Anonymous said:

The more I see from this girl the more I think she’s just a thirsty very immature little girl. And has no idea what she could potentially cost Chris. But he’s not innocent as she found out where he was going somehow.. And then posted it everywhere. Him or his team should have warned them to be cautious. And once they arrived not continued to entertain them and allow them backstage. An adult would have said nice to see you I’m going over here goodbye. Just another dumb d*#k brain decision.

· Anonymous said:

Oh, man... the boyfriend. I didn't even think about him. Can you imagine if the situation was reverse and her bf was acting that way towards a famous woman? I can imagine myself on that situation and I wouldn't like it. Even if she was just joking, which i don't think she was just doing that, it would be disrespectfull. I hope he is not hurt.

· Anonymous said:

Tks for the clarifycation for don't hate the player. So the girl had no shame to run after a man who has close the double of her age just because he is famous. Not sure she is again with her boyfriend but if she is, he would be very happy. It's clear,even if Chris makes bad choices in women, he wouldn't do nothing with her, discretion level he couldn't count on her. 5min with him and she shared and tried already trash things.

· Anonymous said:

And Chris, wearing that Red Sox cap in NYC will bring you a lot of unwanted attention ;)

· Anonymous said:

He was probably advised to stay away from twitter or he decided to do that.

· Anonymous said:

"He doesn’t deserve to be placed on a pedestal. " Literally no personal should be put on a pedestal. NO ONE. Mothers, fathers, friends, siblings, celebrities, every single person does stupid shit or has 'problematic' opinions. If you place anybody (family, friends, celebrities) on a pedestal, you're only looking to get disappointed.

· Anonymous said:

Lets be real-Chris is charming, he is a schmoozer. He was working the crowd in DC. If you are nice to someone, than you get your interview. This time he snagged a desperate fan girl & hung out with her. Not the type of guy I would ever want to be involved with. I could not be w/ a guy that wanted to go to those types of clubs. I think SSH didn't like it either. If this is the life he wants to live he will either have to find a person ok with it, change or be single. 10 steps back for me.

· Anonymous said:

I think she is just a fan with a crush and people are reading into this way too much. I don’t think that’s her hand on his shoulder and the pose is also something we’ve seen in comic con pics. Her “way good friend lol” to means she is joking because he isn’t. The “don’t hate the player hate the game” is again joking and means don’t be mad at her because she got to meet him and her friend didn’t. Was there flirting ? Maybe but we know he does with everyone and she might thought it was just her.

· Anonymous said:

I don't know how publicits work. Do they keep track of the mentions of their clients in SM? I wonder if Chris' publicist is already checking the situation. TIME FOR A DODGER PIC IF YOU ARE READING HERE!!!!!

· Anonymous said:

I find it hard to believe Chris would use this venture to go fishing for a college aged hookup or girlfriend. He mentions age and sneaking into bars in that video, so he also knew her (Bella’s) approximate age. I have no doubt he gets plenty of action and isn’t a saint, but this truly seems like she is playing up something that doesn’t exist. I question her more than him here, again, because he knows this is an important project with “real life” important people, not hollywood actors.

· Anonymous said:

Chris seems so immature. I know we want to put the blame on Janey and MK and all the other girlfriends but honestly am I the only that thinks maybe it’s HIM who’s the problematic one? Idk I’m young so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about lol

· Anonymous said:

All this shot is crazy. I’m know Chris is no saint but come on! At least let her be in her late twenties or early thirties! That’s nasty because she’s two years younger than me!

· Anonymous said:

I’m not down for slut shaming in any regard. If anything happened, Chris was most definitely down for it. I just think it was dumb on her part, because she posted about it. Any potential employers could see this as a red flag. They don’t want to deal with the fallout of an employee causing a potential PR scandal, especially in the political world. Like if she did this once, she’ll prob do it again. I don’t think she’s gunning to be Mrs. Evans, but she def wanted to party and maybe hook up.

· Anonymous said:

There was another video of him sending a message to a different person on a different day. I don't think the fact she ask him to do that means anything

· Anonymous said:

For someone who seemed smart enough to get near a HW star, she sure was pretty naive and had no clue on how this fandom work LOL

· Anonymous said:

But what damage could be done ? It’s not like he did something bad. There is no need to excuse his behavior because nothing illegal was done it’s not like he was caught with a 17 year old in a “massage parlour”. You guys also need to stop with this “he is almost 40” like he was supposed to stop having fun and living his life at 35. If you don’t like it fine don’t live YOUR life that way but don’t be mad at him for refusing to just settle and die because he is “almost 40” .

· Anonymous said:

Not be agree with the places Chris frequents doesn't mean we think he is Cap. I have enought to hear this explication, like we are too much stupid to make the difference between the actor and the role he plays. With the conversation we have here, the majority of anons aren't teenagers i guess. A lot of people don't feel comfortable with the sex industry(porno,stripclub or the one night stand). It would be my brother,my neighbour,my cousin,it's a vice we don't understand not naivety about Chris.

· Anonymous said:

I don't have much to say about this situation but I wouldn't be surprised if it does turn out to be something sleazy. I mean, this is a guy who had an affair with his married co-star and just a few weeks after she actually left her husband for him, he was going to strip clubs & she was tweeting about how that upset her. So he's not always a stand up guy. Mostly I find it funny that even when the girl is a young intern not in HW, she's STILL an attention seeking type. His picker is so broken.

· Anonymous said:

Well, Chris definitely has a type.

· Anonymous said:

I don't think that people are being judgemental but more worried about the consequences that this could create. Internet can make things scalate too quickly and even change the facts. But let's be honest. Chris is white, male, straight, rich. He will be ok. But he has to stop taking pics in those places. Remember when he was dating JS and he went to a certain place in Canada? No pics, people left it behind. That's the right thing to do. No pics, so it's as if it didn't happen.

· Anonymous said:

Burlesque clubs in NYC are often listed in magazines as “things to do” in the city. They are seen as touristy activities. I can see a young girl being excited to go & asking for a hookup to get vip treatment. The place is not what you guys are making it out to be.

· Anonymous said:

Oh please. How should he have celebrated international women’s day ffs. This is starting to get ridiculous. Women. Including 20 year old ones are allowed to go to burlesque clubs. Get out of here with that comment. And if you’re going to invoke a feminist day maybe consider the fact that she went of her own volition? I mean this insinuation that he took a naive child to a strip club. It’s starting to get a bit unhinged up in here.

· Anonymous said:

Are we forgetting he got involved with a whole ass married woman? Lmao, this whole situation is not much of a stretch as people are making. I wish he’d grow up like all of you. He talks the talk of wanting to be a husband and father. He paints himself as a family man. Which yes, he is family oriented. But then he does things like this, which are unfortunately also on brand given his past. Megan, his publicists names I believe, better be getting paid time and half putting out these fires lol.

· Anonymous said:

Right but this is like barely a scandal. We’re just focused on it and there are some social media comments. So for all those saying he should be seen doing serious things umm he is? For the casual fan his serious image is 100% in tact. And my guess is will stay that way. This will blow over in 48 hours tops. It’s not getting any traction other than gossip corners of the internet. Being seen seriously doesn’t mean living like a monk ffs. He didn’t do anything wrong, y’all just dramatic and judgy.

· Anonymous said:

I think we can all agree no matter what the reality might be, the optics aren’t great. If him &his friend are trying to get this new project off the ground in DC, and hes being photographed in a burlesque club in NYC in the same vicinity as DC interns, the DAY AFTER giving interviews, the optics are awful. Politicians would be quick to distance themselves from their project and with those hes already met, potentially wouldn’t give him their time again, especially if their interns are involved.

· Anonymous said:

fans saying he should live his life however he wants-nobody is saying he shouldn't. But people shouldn't be naive enough to think that optics don't matter. They matter a lot.

· Anonymous said:

If the other interns were there they were smart not to post about it. Like that other anon said I imagine the people in D.C. will not be happy about this I’m sure there are social media rules about how to behave.

· Anonymous said:

Mark's been to The Box before, he's posted stories from his trips there.

· Anonymous said:

Some are ok to see a 38 years old man having habits in strip,nightclub and before Playboy party. Good. Some women don't like men like it!Chris or not Chris! I find it perverse,it's all. Frat boys aren't my type of men and great my man isn't like it. And i don't see Chris change when he will be married. There will always be a Mark or an Adam for ask him to go. Scott seems to enjoy trashy club but Zack too so they go as a couple. Maybe am i too prude 😒

· Anonymous said:

This truly blew up fast. Not a Pats fan, but a few years ago, Edelman hooked up w/ a girl he met out partying & she posted a pic of them in bed the next morning on Snapchat. I’m not saying that Chris hooked up with her, we will never know & honestly it’s no one’s business. But both situations definitely seemed opportunistic, but at least with this one people are holding Chris accountable too. The other girl got slut shamed majorly. Like girls, you don’t have to post everything on social media.

· Anonymous said:

Even if there were more interns there, even if Mark was there with Chris... if they went with the interns it's still not a good look. They are both near their 40's. It's a no to rang out with 20's, principally in that kind of enviroment that revolves around sex. This could be used to damage his image, his career, this could be used to damage their initiative about the political site. It just take one article or one tweet from a Trump supporter with many followers for that.

· Anonymous said:

She may or may not have been the only intern with him. She may or may not have ended up with him last night. This time it’s slipped on social media. Imagine all the other times it hasn’t! Disappointed if he’s on the same Leo, Cary Fukunaga and Jake train but are we surprised? Women around his age think differently, and clearly he’s not settling down this minute. Wonder what else would leak. I’ll be here with my tea and popcorn.

· Anonymous said:

This doesn’t look good, but at the same time I feel bad for this girl and her BF, fellow interns, friends, etc. Suddenly a rabid fan base is combing through their every move trying to play detective. I get the curiosity, I’m curious too, but I know how people overreact. And while most are fine, already people are crossing the line and commenting. Not a kick on you, just kinda crazy the lengths that some go to. I’m so glad I grew up without social media for most of my life.

· Anonymous said:

don cheadle once saying on a talk show that the cast of the avengers(including chris of course) all went to a burlesque bar in london. ALL of them. it's not a crime...or is it??? and as for that bella chick going wit him?? who the hell wouldn't go if we were invited? good for her.

· Anonymous said:

I feel that a conveniently timed Dodger video (or photo) is imminent. Or will we go really old school with a video for a sick child? Some sort of distraction from the current (I agree ,totally inappropriate) drama. Thing is that sort of tactic will only work for so long, less and less people will forget each time. While there's no problem visiting a burlesque club,hell I've been myself, it's the company you take to the club that should be more carefully considered. Not a smart move.

· Anonymous said:

Of course he has pr. But people don’t understand how pr works. He doesn’t clear every private dumb decision with them and ask for professional pr advice. He lives his life (and makes dumb mistakes clearly!) but typically a professional pr team isn’t involved unless it affects him professionally, like blows up into a scandal affecting his image and work. They don’t babysit his private life. We’re all fired up about it on our corner of the internet but we’re not really at a true scandal.

· Anonymous said:

People were rightfully dragging Cavill for dating a 19 year old.Chris went to a strip/ burlesque club with a young girl (since one woman posted about them on the birthday video we know they were there together) and there are people still thinking this is ok? (Not saying you do mood) He is stupid many times: one for doing it, one for thinking that is ok, one for leaving traces of it.Oh, wait.The girl is the one who left the traces. That remember me of someone else who used to leave proofs behind.

· Anonymous said:

Ok. I remember when him an Janey broke up, and a few weeks later he was in Houston for the Super Bowl. Him and his friends met some girls at a party, and he invited some of them back to the house with them. Some videos were uploaded. I don’t think this is that different. He went away for a trip, met a girl, and invited her along for the ride. More than likely this is nothing, and this girl is just being opportunistic. He really needs to pick ladies who can use discretion in the future.

· Anonymous said:

I think this is just an example of how celebrity image works. If you aren’t part of Chris fandom or gossip you have no clue. Just a basic google news search for him right now shows his DC rounds and Captain Marvel tweet. And that’s the image he wants to have (and I think genuinely does to a point). But isolated Instagram pics that don’t fit easily into a narrative are never going to get traction. Sure they’ll always be there because internet, but give it another week and it’ll barely be a blip.

· Anonymous said:

Chris is this guy who invite strangers during party/games night in his house or girls who his friends and him met to à bar for partying in friend's house(the tmz video after the end of round 1),it's seem to be how he is but he is the guy, in doing that who trust in everybody and after there are these kind of pic/video not flattering in not flattering place. I see some say he is single so he's enjoy it but he did it when he was with JS, her tweet where she was upset to his bf going to stripclub.

· Anonymous said:

This would not be blowing up if this bella girl had seemed to be in the company of the same friends at the box as she went to NYC with but that is not the case. Mark might have been with them too but why would this rocky lanes person only follow bella's IG and not Mark's too?

· Anonymous said:

All of this stuff is already on twitter and instagram tagging Chris, Megan and even Josh for some reason...

· Anonymous said:

Maybe i missed something, but what’s wrong with Chris taking pics in that club or wherever he was & why couldnt the girl(s) put the pic on her ig

· Anonymous said:

I haven't heard the video but the "my way good friend" comment seems like a joke. Like "this is my very famous friend who I just met and we're already close" And I think that if he denied those girls of taking a picture he'll be criticize, and considering what they work in and those outfits, seems to me like he ows them that little courtesy 🙄 cause

· Anonymous said:

My phone was acting weirs so I don't know if my last ask got through: this bella girl is in NYC with friends from DC and a guy named doug, who works in DC, and has also met Chris is with her. If you go through their IG stories they spent the day together but she is the only one of them to post from the box something.

· Anonymous said:

High end club or not, I checked the pic bellanovemberr posted with the women in her stories and their room seems cheap and have holes in the ceiling. It doesn't matter how expensive those places are, I always at least side eye how they treat women. Their employees deserve better and more respect.

· Anonymous said:

C'mon! It is one of the most exclusive night clubs in NY. I read the reviews of The Box on the web and there’s nothing wrong with attending such a place. It is not absolutamnete a local “hard”. as he quotes a review I found: “It’s definitely not a local hard if any of you are asking, it’s fun, crazy and weird … it totally reflects New York.”

And, maybe, it was the birthday video girl who invited Chris to go there.

· Anonymous said:

Do you think it’d be weird if Chris hooked up with a 20 year old...I mean look at Leo Dicaprio and his girlfriend

· Anonymous said:

Some people have serious problems with celebrities (here: Chris), pedestals, and managing their own fantasies and expectations. They build them up up up, and inevitably get SERIOUSLY broken hearted, hurt, and bitter, when the celeb in question obviously fails to live up to them. I mean, how can they? They're human, and almost never actually aware of these expectations. And I wish I could say that these fans are young and inexperienced, but a lot of them are adults, so...

· Anonymous said:

"Her IG is also followed by Mark Kassen, who is also in New York." Mark followed her the same day she posted that video.

· Anonymous said:

I'm not naive to think single/married man and other famous actors don't go to those places but how many of them have pics taken there? None. I checked the club and it's a sort of freak show club too and celebs are part of the customers. A Vanity Fair article mentioned some names. But no pics. So it doesn't stick with them. It can be said that it's hipocritical go there and refuse pics but it would be the best decision for his image. Let's bet he will post a pic of Dogder?

· Anonymous said:

Recently I came across this Don Cheadle interview on Seth Meyers, where he talked about him,Evans,RDJ,Hemsworth & Renner going to Burlesque club in London & nobody recognising them on street so I guess they all are into this kind of entertainment but only this guy is dumb enough to take pics

· Anonymous said:

That girl’s comment about SSH made me laugh! Hope he had fun at that burlesque bar! Establishments like those are sooo nice.

· Anonymous said:

The fact his boyfriend(ex now) deleted all the pics of her means himself discovered how is she is: at the same time she was dating him she doesn't have qualms to touch too much a man who has the double of his age, play like she said and pursue him in NY in a burlesque show, that imply naked women and alcohol when he was in far away of her. She didn't do all the things without have something in mind. She lost her boyfriend for have the attention of Chris for few hours. Well play girl.

· Anonymous said:

I don’t think that one who makes a happy birthday video like this to a girl for her twenties, surprising her age so young, then he decides to have fun with a girl of the same age or little more.

#twiddledigest

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albaxsutton · 6 years ago

Text

I Hate Tuesdays || A Self Para

*TW: Mentions of abuse, mentions of violence

Alba decided she hated Tuesdays.

She tipped the wine bottle upside down, emptying the last few drops into her already full glass. To say that her day had gone badly was an understatement. Her day had to have been constructed specially by the universe to completely f her over. She had woken up that morning optimistic; she had a nice, long shower, her train came on time and she even managed to get a free coffee from the barista she frequently flirted with at the coffee shop a block up from the Rail.

But then she saw the dismayed looks on most of her colleagues faces. The same colleagues she had been competing with for the head writers position for the past few months. It was all friendly, of course. She only truly hated one or two people on staff and that was only because they were privileged idiots and constantly lorded it over the rest of them. The others she tolerated enough to smile and greet as she walked to her desk. Her desk, like most on their floor, was a tornado of organized chaos. Anyone would look at it once and wonder how she ever managed to get any work done. For her, she knew where everything was. She could navigate with her eyes closed and most of the time, was able to grab whatever she needed without looking away from her computer.

So, when she saw the bright, yellow sticky note taped to her computer, she frowned. ‘Come see me in my office, thanks, Xavier”. Simple and ominous. She plucked from her blank monitor and glanced around to the others, who all seemed to be trying too hard to avoid looking at her. Alba rolled her eyes and set down her coffee, purse and shrugged off her jacket before traveling the sea of desks to get to the editor’s office- which she hoped would be hers one day. It was situated on the corner of the building with windows on all sides looking out at the city. The only downside was that it had a pretty open view to the entire floor, meaning no one could pull any while he was sitting pretty at his big, modern desk with a cup of coffee and a perpetually dissatisfied expression.

She knocked on his door and entered when she heard the gruff, “come in” from the other side. Xavier was pacing behind his desk, his blue tooth on his ear. He gestured for her to sit at one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, which she did without hesitation, watching as he ushered whomever was on the other line off the phone.

“Yeah, I got it Janine… Yep… No, we can’t do that piece next month, we had to move it to December… Look, at this point, I don’t care. Let him know we have a circulation of 500,000 issues and about a million plays to review in New York. He wants an interview? Tell him to get available.” With that, he tugged the headset from his ear and tossed it on his desk. “Swear to god, these new age playwrights get a sold out opening night and suddenly they think they’re the god damned Shakespeare of their generation. Didn’t you deal with that wannabe last year, Sutton? The Italian guy, what was his name?”

“Phil Columbo?” Alba answered, obviously amused. “Yeah, I reviewed his one-man musical about the gentrification of Brooklyn Heights. Not subpar, but not the next Jonathan Larson of Alphabet City.”

Xavier shook his head and plopped down in his large, comfortable looking chair. “Yeah, you’re gettin’ him in December. I can’t deal with divas and you seem to like em’.”

“I like talent.”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” he shot back offhandedly before clearing his throat and settling into his desk properly. “You do good work, Sutton.”

Alba’s brows shot up in surprise. Getting a compliment from Xavier was like getting a blessing from the Pope at the Brooklyn Rail. His word was bible. “Thank you.”

“And you’re talented. I don’t say that a lot.” Yeah, no shit. “You’re the youngest writer on my staff, you outwork most of the people who’ve been here for years and you consistently give this magazine great content.”

She should have been basking in the praise, smiling like some idiots who got a gold star in Kindergarten. But something felt off. Something about the way he said the words set up an expectation for something bad to come. “I feel a “but” coming on…”

“That’s because there is.” Xavier said, his face both remorseful and disappointed. “If it were up to me, you’d be getting that head writers position. But unfortunately, it’s not just up to me.”

It took a few moments for her to grasp the words completely. There was always a good chance that she wouldn’t get the position, she knew that. But hearing it and expecting it were two completely different things. She felt like cold water had been splashed over her body, igniting every nerve in her body and making her fully aware of just how much that single sentence hurt. “Oh…”

Xavier sighed and sat back in his seat. “I could dance around with numbers and give you some sugarcoated excuse as to why you’re not changing your title, but I know you’re too smart for that. The fact of the matter is that you’re young and you’re not as tenured. Mikey, he’s been with us 11 years. It’s a matter of who is going to get the most respect and right now, that’s not you, kid.”

She wanted to yell at him and tell him that Mikey hadn’t written a good article since the West End run of “Cats”, but she knew that would leave her without a job and possibly blackballed in the New York journalism circuit. She wanted to tell him that she could get respect from anybody she talked to because that was just the kind of person she was. Instead, she sat and listened, her eyes not really focusing on Xavier or anything for that matter.

“I don’t have these conversations often because I don’t feel like I need to explain myself, but you’re different.” He said, his lips pursed in a thin line. “You wanted it. You worked for it and I saw that. I appreciate it. It’s just…”

“Nobody respects me.” She finished for him, her tone a tad bitter.

“Nobody respects you as supervisor material.” Xavier admitted. “Not now anyway. We respect the hell out you, you know that. Now’s just… not the time for you.”

The conversation had ended after that and she dragged herself through the rest of the day with as much grace as she had mustered. But of course, life hit her. Hard. Her interview with a rising, prominent artist had been cancelled, she spilled coffee all over her new shirt and just when her incredibly shitty day had come to an end, she missed her train and had to wait an hour for the next one. By the time she got home, she was a walking ball of nerves and irritation.

She drank from her wine glass and started to settle into her couch for a night of tipsy Netflix watching and trying to forget about the incredibly terrible day she had when a knock suddenly sounded at her door. She frowned. She hadn’t texted Mari, Terry or Siobhan about not getting the promotion yet, so it wouldn’t be them and Raul would never come over without texting first. With a heavy and irritated sigh, she stood up and crossed to her door to look through the peep hole. She froze as a face she hadn’t seen in a very, very long time appeared on the other side. Without another thought she reached forward and yanked her door open to glare at her mother on the other side.

Yelena smiled at her as if they hadn’t not been in contact in over ten years. She was exactly as Alba had remembered. Beautiful, long dark hair and big brown eyes. There were a few wrinkles on her face that weren’t there before, but she looked as if she had stepped out of a page of Alba’s memory. Or a nightmare of hers.

“Alba…” She started, looking her over. “It’s been a long time.”

She wasn’t sure what to say to the woman before her. She could feel the angry glare burning on her face, a distinct feeling of rage creeping up within her that she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to hold in. “12 years.”

Yelena nodded. “Yeah… how have you been?”

Alba stared at her in disbelief. “How have I been? That’s it?” She rolled her eyes and then squeezed them shut, a headache forming at the stress of her day. “What the f- How did you find me?”

“…I hired a private investigator.” She admitted, her smile turning sheepish. “You changed your last name, so-“

“Yeah, so that you wouldn’t find me.” Alba snapped at her.

Yelena sighed, adjusting her purse on her arm and Alba realized, suddenly, that it was designer. In fact, everything she wore was expensive, from her shoes to her coat and even her hair cut. Alba blinked at her, wondering how her mother -the woman who couldn’t hold a job to save her life- could afford those kind of things. “Alba, sweetie, I don’t want this to be antagonistic-”

“Oh wow, “antagonistic”, that’s a big word, Yelena.” She said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s good to see that the drinking didn’t completely destroy your brain cells.”

“I didn’t come here so that you could insult me, Alba.”

“Then why are you here?”

Yelena sighed and looked down at her hands, perfectly manicured and weathered at the same time. “I... just wanted to see you. See how you were doing.”

Alba raised an eyebrow at her, completely skeptical. “You wanted... to see me?” She scoffed and cast her eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. “Ten years and you’re still a terrible liar. You wanted to see me? Where were you when I was in the hospital for a month after you set our apartment on fire?”

Yelena cringed at the words, at least having the decency to look ashamed. “Alba...”

“Where the hell were you when I was put into foster care? Where were you at my high school graduation, or my college graduation for that matter? You know I worked three jobs to put myself through school because I had nobody and ten years later, you want to see me?” Alba didn’t realize that half way through her rant, tears had started to pool in her eyes. Not because she was sad, she would never give the woman in front of her the satisfaction, but because she was angry. “Pick another lie because I don’t buy that shit.”

Her mother sighed. “I deserve that... Believe what you want, it’s true. I’ve.. done a lot of growing up and I just want to make amends.”

Alba, with a bored and disbelieving expression, scoffed at her words. “Cry me a river.”

“Why are you acting like I don’t know I made mistakes?” Yelena said, the words coming out quickly and with an emotion that made them waiver ever so slightly. She looked close to crying too, her eyes red and her lips forced into a thin line. “I did, Alba. I made a lot of them, most of them with you. I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“An apology would be nice.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you.”

To Alba’s surprise, Yelena gave her a sad smile in return. “Crazy thing is, you sound a lot like me.”

“No, I sound a lot like Alba.” She shot out, shaking her head. “You don’t get to take credit for anything but a strong liver, great hair and childhood trauma.” She leaned against her door and shrugged. “So last chance. You tell me why you’re really here or I slam the door in your face. Your pick.”

Yelena stared at her for a moment, looking unsure of what to say. Alba couldn’t really blame her. If she had been a bad mother, she wouldn’t be sure what to say to her kid either. The fact that she even had the gall to knock on her door would have been impressive if Alba hadn’t hated her so god damn much. She reached in her expensive purse them and pulled out a small, rectangular piece of paper and held it out for her. Alba glanced at the paper and then back at her, slowly taking it and looking it over. It was a check, one with her name and “$25,000″ in the amount line. Alba’s eyes widened as she stared at hit and she looked up at her mother in shock.

“Why the hell are you giving this to me?” She said, hastily putting it back into the woman’s hand.

The older woman took the check back looked at it, smoothing it over with her fingers as she spoke. “I got married five years ago. He’s... a really good man. He helped me get sober, get back on my feet. He paid for the private investigator to find you. He’s... going to be running for political office soon.”

Alba raised a brow at her. “And... what the hell does that have to do with you handing me a check for $25,000?”

“...He had a lot of my criminal record sealed, including the neglect and arson charge from... that day.” Yelena explained to her, clearing her throat uncomfortably. Alba didn’t know what pissed her off more. That she wasn’t exactly the woman she was from all that time ago, or that she was trying to act like that person was long gone. “I’m his wife, we can’t have any... scandals, affecting his campaign. If anybody found out that I had a daughter that I left behind... it wouldn’t be good for him.”

It slowly pieced together. And when the puzzle was complete, Alba was filled with an anger she hadn’t felt in a very long time. The anger that only came from a frustrated kid who just wanted somebody to come and whisk her away from her horrible life. Yet no one ever came. It was an anger with her mother as the singular focus. “You’ve... got to be out of your god damned mind.”

Yelena clenched her eyes shot and cringed. “Alba, just think about-”

“Oh, I don’t have to think about anything!” She yelled, not caring if her neighbors heard her rage filled words. Yelena had the good sense to take a step back as her daughter unleashed her anger. “Do you even remember all the shit you did to me? Do you remember all the times I had to defend myself when you went on some drunken episode? I had to lie to my teachers and tell them I fell. There were times I had to stay home from school because sometimes I couldn’t hide the bruises.”

Yelena listened to her with tears in her eyes and shame on her expression, but it wasn’t enough for Alba to feel satisfied. She wanted the woman in front of her to hurt just like she did. “I think we should take this inside-”

“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think you’re stepping foot in my house.” She snapped, her words low and vicious. She scoffed lightly and shook her head. “Years of court ordered therapy by CPS and I still can’t function properly.” She sounded hysterical at this point, letting her words move out of her without thought of consequence. It was like a dam had been broken and there was no way to stop the rushing waters from flowing free. “I spent a lot of time wondering what I had done wrong. Because what kind of child couldn’t be loved by their mother?”

Yelena tried to reach forward, her hand open in a caring manner that Alba wasn’t used to. “None of that was your fault!”

Alba ripped way from her. “How the hell was I supposed to know that? I was a kid trying to raise myself. You know, because of you I’m just some hyper sexual, asshole whose walking around angry all the god damned time with absolutely no decent moral compass and a deep embedded distrust of men. Because you had guys coming in and out of our apartment and more times than not, I had to lock my bedroom door because some of them would try to get in. You took everything that was good and decent about my life and you crushed it with your bare hands.”

They were both crying now. Yelena stood silently, tears running down her face while Alba had to catch her breath. “The only thing I hate more than you is the fact that deep, deep, deep down, I still wish we could have been different.” Yelena started to open her mouth but Alba cut her off. “And don’t you dare say that things can be different now, because I know you’re not that naive so... just go. We don’t have anything else to talk about.”

Her mother pressed the check forward again. “Alba, I know you have student loans and bills-”

“Which I will take care of, I don’t want your money and I don’t give a fuck about you or your husband, so just fucking go.” She sounded exhausted by the end of the sentence, emotionally and physically done with the small conversation.

Yelena, stubborn as stubborn was, leaned down and placed the check on her doormat between them, putting a business card along with it. “That’s one of two. I can give you the other half when you agree not to say anything about... that.”

“Woman up and say it.” Alba spat out with a shrug. “Your incredibly shitty and abusive attempt at being a mom.”

“...If I could take back everything I did, I would.” Yelena admitted, her tone close to a whisper. “I want you to know that.”

Alba didn’t respond, just stared at her dead in the eye and glared. “Go, before I call the cops and have them wheel your unconscious body out of my hallway.”

The threat was sharp and enough to make Yelena jump slightly. She gave her one final look and turned on her heel to leave. Alba wasted no time in slamming her door shut, her vision blurred with angry tears. She managed to stomp back over to her wine, not realizing how badly her hands were shaking until she brought the glass to her lips. Everything that she had repressed and forgotten about in the ten years since she had last seen that woman rushed forward to the forefront of her mind. She was suddenly a little girl again, scared and curled up in her bed. She was that little that she thought she had grown up from. But here she was.

With an angry cry, she threw the wine glass across the room and watched it shatter against the wall, red wine splattering across her furniture and floor. Her chest heaved up and down, trying to take in air that just wouldn’t come. After awhile, her legs were unable to hold her up and she crumpled to the ground, crying and feeling sorry for herself and the girl that she was.

She really fucking hated Tuesdays.

#alba || muse #alba || self para #nrp: inspo #tw: abuse #tw: alcoholism #tw: violence #tw:

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