#been waiting to have the money for it but can't beat 3$ sale!

[foxgloveinspace]

the kindle edition of Wolfsong is only 3$ instead of 13$ right now!!

(This post was made on June 23, I have no idea how long it will be on sale, get it while you can guys!)

[copperbadge]

Hi Mr Starbuck! Some friends and I are moving in a few months and we're eyeing various places all over the US. Chicago came up as a relatively affordable big city (compared to LA and NYC) and I have to ask the resident Tumblr Chicagoan his opinion. As a resident who lives and works in the windy city, what's your big pros and cons of residing there (especially things you might not encounter as a tourist)? (also, how accurate is your "guide to chicago" still, since its been a few years!)

Well, I definitely have opinions!

The guide to Chicago is no longer accurate -- too many places have closed or moved, and the pandemic altered a lot (for example the Money Museum still exists but I'm not sure if it has regular hours even now). I should do a new one but like, I really don't get out much anymore so I can't talk about restaurants outside of a VERY local area, and I never could talk much about hotels, which just leaves points of interest mostly already covered by Atlas Obscura. :D At this point it'd just be kind of moot, others are doing it better than I am.

Chicago is inexpensive compared to New York or Los Angeles, but like, that's everywhere in America. Chicago is still a quite pricey city to live in, mainly because the taxes are so high -- 10.25% sales tax, for example, and my property taxes are also pretty steep. People joke about Taxachusetts, but I'm pretty sure Chicago at least has it beat (and 2/3 of the state's population lives in Chicago or the outlying suburbs). Housing is not at a premium in the way it is in NY and LA but depending on where you want to live and how far you want to commute it can still be very expensive. My housing was never less than half of my monthly income until I bought this place, and then ONLY because the job I'm in now came with a $10K/yr raise from my last one.

Chicago does have great culture, great museums, great food, and it's a liberal island in a pretty conservative region. It is however quite segregated, so if you are any race other than white, living here can get a little more complicated than I've portrayed it as a white dude. There is significant crime and particularly gun crime, but it's generally confined to specific regions of the city. That said, even if you discount crime, the Chicago PD are corrupt as fuck and uninterested in being helpful, so if you are from a demographic the cops enjoy harassing, it will not be different here.

I do love the city, warts and all. I like the water, I like the people, I like the midwestern vibe. I'd find it very hard to leave, especially because I have a network of friends here, but also because I just plain like it and I know it really well. There is a very short list of cities I'd consider leaving Chicago for, and most of those would have to have a well-paying job waiting for me. But it did take me time to fall in love with it -- it took a few years before it felt like home.

It's a little difficult to get more specific without knowing more about your situation -- what you do for work, what your budget is like, what your goals are in leaving where you are. Do you prefer to drive most places? (Parking and traffic can both get dicey.) Can you tolerate taking public transit if driving is inconvenient? Is the industry in which you work something that has a lot of openings here? Do you want to live in an urban environment, and if so are you prepared to live in a likely somewhat shitty apartment to do so? If you prefer to live in a house, are you prepared for a long commute? What do you like to do for fun and is there a thriving culture for that here? What is it important to have access to -- museums, concerts, theater, sport? Where do you need to travel to regularly (ie, I go to Austin several times a year) and how do you prefer to travel there?

Anyway, yeah -- like, I love it but I have few illusions about it. If you want to chat further feel free to hit me up by email, happy to answer more specific questions!

[quickunfinished]

The Original gangsters

3 main characters

Protagonist

Old lady leader

Protagonist best friend

Act 1

Protagonist Is a young and struggling entrepreneur who lives in a dingey apartment.

He is profit driven but human. He goes to his stand on the beach, visits a bunch of old ladies at a retirement home, and finally visits his friend at the bar. In the first cycle the friend makes fun of the guy for hanging out with the old people, mentions he dosent like old people.

Cycle again, this time quicker, again, finally one cycle the bar scene is longer. Best friend says (while quite drunk/stoned) "you know what I would do man? (No what?) If I were you i would sell the cookies the grannies give you. (Hahahaha) I'm serious man, they're good cookies, they're giving you them for free, and you could run a baked goods stand, make some serious bank.

He goes to bed and the next day repeats the cycle except he visits the grannies first, collects cookies, then puts them for sale on the beach. Noone buys one, but then a little kid walks up and asks for one. Guy hands the kid a cookie and says "here just have it kid." Kid runs outside, eats part of the cookie, and shares with his mom, who comes inside and orders more cookies for at home, much to the guys shock.

The next day he goes back to his regular stand but notices a lot of people asking for cookies, so he says "alright, sure", visits the grannies, collects cookies, then opens the cookie stand. They are a hit and sell out that day. He looks down at his profits, and they aren't amazing but it's more than he was getting selling shirts.

He does this new cycle, and he sells out again, and visits the bar, and talks his friend into visiting the stall the next day.

Friend does and notices the long line, and after work Protagonist gives the elevator pitch to the friend. "You gave me this idea, and i wanna rope you in on this. I've got a good thing goin. (But what can I do?) What your gonna do is your gonna visit retirement homes, build up a rapport and get to know em you know? (Wait you've been taking these treats from old ladies?) It was your idea! (It was a joke!)... (won't lie the money is tempting... but I don't know how to talk to old folks, and I can't do anything if they don't like me!) "IL teach you then"

Montage scene cues. Instead of going to the bar, the friend and protagonist hang out at protags place and do things. They play curling, they watch black and white sitcoms, and try on outfits. The final scene of the montage is of the friend in a photo, then the phone is taken down to reveal the friend with combed hair, button up shirt, clip on bowtie, and khakis.

The friend collects cookies all day before work and drops off a box of cookies halfway through the day. They start making serious bank and split it 50 50.

Act 2:

Another cycle goes by, friend is talking to a granny (specifically old lady leader, henceforth "OLL") and comes clean about the operation. She gets pissed, draws a flintlock, and fires, missing the friend and nailing a portrait of Jesus.

She yells "come back with my fukin money" as he ducks out of the room. In the bar scene of the cycle they talk about the incident, and protag says "just don't collect from her again." In the next scene, OLL is talking to one of the other old ladies, and reveals the truth to her, and by the end of the night everyone in that old folks home is pissed.

In the next cycle friend tries to collect, but Noone will give him cookies and they run him out of the building by descending on him, very slowly.

He calls up protag says "we got a problem boss, Noone gave me anything" (what do you mean, we got people lined up out the block!" [Cut to drone shot of building, people are lined up arround the block, looping arround and doubling up] "just start working a new retirement home" at this point the grannies are hordeing arround the car, and starting to beat on it "aight boss" friend says as he turns on the engine and slowly drives through the crowd, not running over anyone and getting peppered by baking ingredients.

Act 3: some time passes, and

The gig is working better. The friend recruited more people and the store is booming, but collections are mean, and more akin to "give us the cookies"

The protagonist realizes he could make more money by cutting out the friend by firing him, paying the collectors the same and pocketing friends cut.

Protag says "it's not personal, it's just business" fires him and says "I still wanna stay friends tho". Friend says "yeah" because he's polite, but he's pissed. He visits the first retirement home and talks to the receptionist. There is a telegram and an old camera that didn't used to be there.. The scene goes like this.

F " howdy! I'm here to see OLL"

R: *looks up from newspaper, looks up down then back up* "Sure, one minute hon"

They have a very quick conversation in Morse code. The conversation goes like this.

R: there's there's young man, perhaps 20, here to see you.

OLL: can you send me a picture of him?

*the receptionist stands up, takes a picture of the man, and goes back to the telegram*

OLL: I see, bring him in.

R: yes boss

The old lady stands up, and walks behind the man, and pulls a handkerchief out of her purse. Says "hey, how does this handkerchief smell?" And smothers his face with it, he passes out. He regains conceousness and is being dragged by two people in electric wheelchairs. There's a burlap sack over his head. They drag her into OLL's room. (Which has propped open double doors.)

They drop him off, cuff his wrists, and remove the burlap sack. OLL is sitting in an armchair, with two old men holding muskets tailing her. She has a saber.

The conversation goes like this.

O: you got a Lotta nerve coming here, punk

F: (remembering his montage) "oh dearie me, I seem to have caus-

O:*drawing her saber* "I KNOW YOUR TRICKS. *puts it up to his neck* you have exactly one minute to tell me something good before I gut you like a fish you scallywag!

F:"Protag fired me!"

O: *pulls back saber* elaborate

F:He fired me from the business to pinch pennies, and I want to turn on him"

O:*laughs* so you are a rat? See old folk don't like rats very much, usually we just exterminate them. *motions towards guards, they raise their muskets

F:"but I a useful rat! I can tell you where the shop is, where he lives and where he drinks!

O:*motions to stop* *thinks for a minute* alright, your gonna write all that down. See we let useful rats go, but we gotta see if your useful or not, so we're gonna keep you in a cage while we figure out if your useful. Hand over your new fangled devices.

F: could you free my hands?

O: *motions. Guard uses the Bayonett on his rifle and slices the zip tie.*

F* hands over his device.

O: attempts to turn it off but struggles, passes it back and says "could you turn this off for me dear?"

F:*stands up and turns it off*

O: *thanks dear. Motions towards the other guard who hits him over the head with the butt of the rifle and knocks him out cold.*

Final cycle.

Guy wakes up to find his house trashed. There's an old lady across the street birdwatching who sends a signal through a walkie talkie with a telegram mixed in.

He goes to work and begins working the counter. It's a slow day. He steps outside for some air, and there's an old man riding a penny farthing. He goes back in, and as the old man rides by he draws and shoots 6 flintlock pistols. Noone dies, all the shots miss.

He figures out it was probably friend who said something. He gets pissed and goes to bar since he isn't answering his phone. He goes in, drinks, and steps outside, going down the alley.

There's an old lady walking down the road. He looks at her, says "oh shit" and runs the other direction. A horse drawn carriage drives in and 2 old people pop out, Kettering him in this alley.

More old people fill up the alley, and they all beat him up. Eventually he is beat badly, and OLL approaches, spits on him, and kicks his body. He bleeds out on the ground and dies.

Roll credits, fitting ironic song.

Post credit scene: friend is freed and kicked out of the old folks home, and said to never show his face there again.