#been thinking about the convo in the observatory lately

[moonsart]

[laxiq-archive]

➳ ♡ . * ˚┊ h a p p y ⏤ 𝓁𝒶𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓃 ⏤  d a y .  * ₊ ˚ ✧

☾ vιιι.ιх.хvιιι // ʟᴀᴜʀᴇɴ’s 𝟷𝟿ᵀᴴ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ☽

ପ . * ˚ ₊ for those who don’t know lauren...,

  she is:         ♡ very witty         ♡ kind hearted         ♡ beautiful         ♡ amazing 12/10 recommend you follow her

let me tell you a bit more about her. 

firstly, she is horrendous with words. every now and then i could use a compliment, or when i’m sad i would like some soft words to make me feel better . .

 so i tell her . . her response 90% of the time? “yeet.”

     ♥︎ “u always look above decent.”      ♥︎ “⏤i will give you half of my liver.”      ♥︎ “basic human how r u.”

you get the point.

secondly, she has a terrible sleeping schedule and it makes me feel conflicted. let me tell you why. we live in different time zones so it’s easy for me to stay up late to talk to her. but i try to keep in mind that midnight for me means two in the morning for her. so i suggest she sleep, she refuses, and we keep talking. she’ll sleep late then wake up early for work. 

she makes me feel bad because as much as i want to talk to her when she gets off work, i know she’s tired so she should go to sleep early. but she doesn’t want to go to sleep early and the selfish part of me is glad because we get to talk more, but the rest of me feels very guilty because it’s not good for her.

thirdly, lauren has an awful diet. i feel like she eats ramen every single night. like??? it’s not healthy!! not healthy at all!! but she does it!! like, you better calm down there naruto. and i know y'all saw that post of me telling her to drink water. it’s because she had only consumed red bulls!! also not healthy!!

i could go on to tell you about other stuff she does.

   - reminds me every chance she gets that i’m short    - leaves our relationship on read    - the numerous times she’s fallen asleep on me    - made me sad once . . or twice . . thrice    - etc. etc.

what i am trying to tell you is lauren is not perfect. she has her flaws, she makes me sad at times, and i always wonder what she thinks of me because she’s never serious . . it’s all these negative things that reminds me just how incredibly human she is.

i adore everything about her, even these traits of hers. she is very bad with words but an incredible communicator. she’s willing to sacrifice sleep so we can talk about stupid stuff. she’s so real with me, not afraid to hide parts of her life with me, even the ugly stuff, and i really admire her these things about her.

she’s someone i talk to so often that it’s become easy to tell her stuff that i wouldn’t tell other people. so often that it’s easy to tell / show her how much I care about her. so often that my day feels incomplete strange if i don’t talk to her. she’s apart of my daily routine and i'm so blessed to have her apart of my life.

today is her nineteenth birthday, and i just want to attempt to put my feelings into words, just for her, on this beautiful thursday. ‧₊˚ ଓ

           ‧₊˚✧.  нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ                          нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ                     нαppy вιrтнdαy deαr lαυreɴ                          нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ ‧₊˚✧

➳ ♡ . * ○┊ 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓁𝒶𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓃, 

   this is kind of hard; you already know my feelings. i was thinking about what to say to you now . . and i want you to know the depth of these feelings. but how do i express them to you? i’m not entirely sure to be honest. so i’ll just say whatever’s in my heart and hope my sincerity can reach you, despite the distance between us.

   a few months ago we met on this horrid site. i remember wanting to talk to you because i would read your tags and laugh, so i did my best to initiate a lame excuse of a conversation with you. ever since then you’ve become someone i cherish dearly. i want you to feel bliss every day of your life but that’s too unrealistic. so i hope that every day you heal, even if it’s just a little, and steadily grow into the person you want to be.

   truthfully, from the beginning, i felt very comfortable with you. maybe it was because of your carefree attitude, or maybe it was the kindness you showed me? perhaps it was our keysmash convos. whatever it was, it felt really natural to talk to you.

   since that day, my comfort has been growing with each joke, with each intimate moment, with each confinement. that comfort has recently evolved into something deeper. with you, i have reached a level of vulnerability. i feel like i could show you all of my weaknesses and i trust that you wouldn’t use that information to hurt me.

   ah, the depth of my love for you. where do i begin? you’re constantly on my mind; i see things that remind me of you, i hear songs and i wonder if you would like them. i worry for you when an hour passes and i haven’t received a response from you. you’re literally the only person i have no issues with when it comes to messaging back and forth all day every day.

   you already know that i sometimes act motherly to you because i truly want what’s best for you, right? i don’t intend to be annoying, and i know i can come across as just that sometimes when i constantly ask if you’re tired, or what time you work, or when i very lightly nag you for doing something dumb. but i do that all out of love. wow, i really do sound like a mother i am so sorry.

   i am not sure how else to explain to you my love for you. it’s like . . you’re my favorite human. i’m interested in everything about you ⏤ from your thoughts to your lifestyle to just you in general. i hope that someday in the future we can meet and go to an observatory. we can talk and watch the sun set before learning about the stars, it’ll be great i promise.

   i won’t ever forget those moments i spent on my vacation. when i was alone in my hotel room and i got really bad paranoia at night and freaked out. none of my friends were answering my calls when i needed them, and i felt like i was really going to die if i didn’t escape my thoughts. but while my friends didn’t return my calls, you texted me that entire time. you made sure i was okay, tried to calm me down, and made me feel better.

   i don’t think i ever really thanked you back then, but that meant so much to me. the first night it happened i felt a sense of security with you, and i was able to feel the warmth of your heart in that cold hotel room. i am so thankful for you. above all you’re my friend, and i hope we can be friends for a long time. you have such a pure soul, i don’t want to lose a person as good natured as you.

   i haven’t told you this as much as i should but i really do appreciate you. whenever i’m upset, which is like every other night, you don’t dismiss my feelings, you don’t get annoyed, nor do you comment on how often i get the blues. instead, you worry about me and urge me to talk about what’s bothering me, while still respecting my boundaries. you’re patient with me and let me vent to you and while you’re bad with putting your thoughts into words, you still do your best to comfort me. you’ve shown me so much compassion and love, more than i deserve, really.

   you also encourage me to become comfortable with the parts of myself that i’m shy with, which is so amazing. you make me feel good about the sides of me that i am insecure about and if that isn’t supporting someone else’s growth i don’t know what is.

   you have such a kind and understanding heart, i value you very much.

  i look forward to the future days where i can learn more about you ⏤ things you don’t like, like corn dogs for example; things that upset you, like ladies yelling at you, another example; and just see more of you. i want to have more talks with you about things that don’t matter and things that mean the world to you, and i want to enjoy your presence even though we’re miles away from each other.

    what i’m trying to say, in a nutshell, is in this short amount of time you’ve become my best friend. i love you very much lauren and i wish nothing but the best for you this year. happy birthday my goblin. 💘

                                               ⏤ 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁 ପ♡⃛ଓ

[savannahjanisxo]

boy, oh boy have I neglected posting this concert experience story (3 ½ months overdue yike) for the people who probably could care less about it, but it is finally here, & it is v v v extensive as it includes basically every detail I can recall accurately.

Here ya go, curious cats:

I went to the show in Santa Ana, CA on March 5th. I got to the venue maybe 20 or 30 minutes after doors opened, so the openers were already in the middle of their set. I dragged my older guy cousin w/ me (since my sister was doing a photoshoot in San Diego that night + the next day), & during the opener’s set, he pushed me to the front of the crowd since he knew how long I had been waiting to see hippo. Then they came out & did their thing, & holy shit. Okay, it was so worth waiting almost 2 years. Their set was so fucking surreal; I may or may not have almost cried.. Also in the middle of their set, some guy pushed to the front to let Jake take a hit off a joint, & it was p iconic lol.

After the show, the crowd waited like 5-10 minutes to disperse due to the hope of a possible encore. I then got merch & waited inside the venue for maybe 15 minutes since the last time I was at the Observatory, the band I saw met fans inside the venue, but after seeing most of the fans walking outside, I followed.. Also b/c they kicked everyone out lol.

There were maybe 60-70 (possibly even more) fans outside waiting in the parking lot for the guys, but hippo had chosen to wait everyone out until there were 30 fans max which was 1 - 1 ½ hours later. During that time, I made a few new friends since my cousin decided to just wait inside of his car for me to do my thing.

(Whistler left right after the show to spend time w/ his family, sooo y'know.. I didn’t get to meet him.)

The first boy to come out was Nathan, but he stopped to smoke a cigarette w/ security lol. We were on our way to meet him half way, but we stopped when we saw he was busy (DON’T BOTHER THEM IF THEY SEEM BUSY OKAY). We then just waited for another one of them to come out or until he was finished.

Jake:

Jake came out next, so we went over to him to take pictures & whatnot. I’ve been promising him a lame dad shirt for the past two years, & I still have yet to provide. I apologized for that as we were about to take our picture, & he simply replied, “aww, next time!” whilst rubbing my arm. Not to be dramatic, but Jake is pure sunshine. I wish I had more time to chat w/ him, but so many others were trying to speak to him as well, so after the pictures, the girls & I were off to the next boy.

Nathan:

We went to Zach since Nathan was still smoking, but everything w/ Zach will be addressed last since that was most of it.. SO after seeing Zach the first time around in the night, we went to Nathan, & my conversation w/ him is kind of a blur, but basically the gist & a few specifics: he called himself a whore (I briefly explain here for those wanting further explanation), he told me to get out of California, & I called him a hippie which he asked me to explain myself, but he was literally rolling a joint as he was giving his “stop being on your phones, go outside, & interact w/ your friends” spiel. (One of the girls took a snap video of him, & in it he says “like at the same I want the ability to be able to be here now, so.. that’s what cigarettes are all about.” C’mon hippie sticker boy, admit it.) I also brought up his twitter & how this one time late at night, & he was the only one of the boys awake, so he was bored & asked to be sent poetry. I sent a realist suggestive poem about me “doing homework when it should be you” (my recent works are definitely more tasteful & not that trashy.. but sticker boy told me the other night (in direct reference to my previous statement) that “trash is & will always be better than we think.” sooo maybe he enjoyed it? I don’t know about that cryptic boy), & he told me he didn’t remember. Then he asked me what year this happened, & I told him it happened in 2015 to which he said, “I was a different man then” lol okay, child. Little something about sticker: he comes off as a very serious person when you speak to him, but he isn’t at all. Although, he is very formal. When I first went up to him, he went in for a handshake, but I had been waiting too long for this to be a handshake; I needed it to be a hug. We then introduced ourselves.. Ooooh. I also talked to Nathan about his sister, Madeline, b/c she’s been following me on Instagram for a couple years (I didn’t even follow her first lol), & oml the look on his face when I told him that. He rolled his eyes & said, “ohhh, Madeline.” It was hilarious (love you, Maddie). Overall, we just had a 5-10(??) minute conversation about life (in the midst of the conversation, someone was pulling out of the parking lot blasting one of their songs (can’t remember which one.. violet maybe?), & Nathan yelled, “turn that shit off.” It was iconic).. Then I went back over to Zach.

Zach:

Background info:

About a week before the show, I was tweeting this boy so much? Within a week probably 30 of my tweets were liked by him; it was so excessive, & soz to anyone who was following me during that time b/c yikes. Anyway, basically the main part of it was that we were finally going to fight, & the whole Zach only liking tweets & fighting has been a running joke since 2015 okay, so this isn’t new. He also agreed to “match” outfits w/ me, hence the denim shirt over his sweatshirt.

(You can peep the embarrassing twitter thread here. Some tweets contain their own threads too js lol.)

At the actual show:

When Z finally came out, the girls I was w/ & I booked it over there, & he was chatting w/ some people, & he talks for a long time which is really nice, but also time consuming y’know. (Also oml okay as we were waiting for them to finish their conversation, this bih smiled, & I kid you not, my weak ass squealed a bit. Like those dimples? Are you fucking kidding me?) Anyway, when our turn finally came to, I went first since we had a whole plan going. It was a thing where I was going to greet him by saying something vaguely rude, so he’d be aware of the whole fighting thing b/c if I greeted him like I actually would have w/ the whole “hey, how are you,” bringing up the fight would’ve been a tad awkward, thus “Zach, you ass” was born.

(You can watch that on my twitter here. It’s also part of the thread, but eh y’know.)

Subsequently after the denim shirt talk (the video cuts right before this, but he actually apologized for not bringing his other denim shirt, & I told him that I was just happy he even brought/wore one b/c I asked, & he said, “yeah, well thanks.” what an awkward angel), I called him out about some twitter things such as why he doesn’t reply, & he said, “I just like b/c it’s like a binary sort of thing.” Then I told him that I actually would have brought him candy in which this bitch smugly replied, “maybe I don’t like candy.” Uhm this boy liked the tweet, & if it is actually a binary thing, he is indicating that he does like candy smh. Anyway, I asked, “what about donuts or something?” This bih then decided to sass me aGAIN by saying, “Whistler likes donuts,” & I was so done. BOY, NO SHIT. EVERYONE & THEIR MOTHER KNOWS WHISTLER LOVES DONUTS HOLY FUCK. I WAS USING THAT AS AN EXAMPLE FOR A SUGGESTION. Ugh then he said that I should bring him fruit, so I asked which is his favorite, & I thought to myself, “he better not say mango,” & HE DID. I was disgusted, everyone else was disgusted b/c of my reaction, & it was a mess. Then we continued to talk about fruit for a few more minutes (it was a long fruit convo) such as the correct way to eat grapefruit (peel the skin & put sugar on it), pomegranate being bomb, & yet another opposing opinion which was on putting tajín on fruit (Z hasn’t had it, so he believes that “salty things don’t belong on fruit.. that’s for pretzels” ..tajín is chili powder that tastes like candy, & it is amazing, especially on watermelon). Then I said bye to him after we took our pictures, helped the girls I was w/ take their pictures, & we went over to Nathan (which I already went over).

Second time around talking to my mango bitch: So after talking to Nathan, I went back over to Zach alone since the girls I was w/ decided to leave (it was maybe 12:15 AM at this point, & it was Sunday night, soooo y’know). My phone had also died when I was waiting to talk to Zach the first time, but then it came back on by itself when I was waiting to talk to him the second time. It was living on the edge, so I ran back to my cousin’s car to get my portable charger (we had parked right by the bus in the very front of the venue, so it was very convenient), but tHAT WAS ALSO ON THE EDGE. I went back in line, & I was the last person to talk to Zach, so it was a long time spent. We said hi again, & we took so. many. pictures. These were all snap filter ones, & we did that for a few minutes. Okay, so my bitch ass oml I made him retake a few, & at one point, I actually said, “ew, I don’t like this; we have to retake it,” & hE LAUGHED AT ME, & THEN HE MIMICKED ME. I can’t believe. Ugh okay, but a part of this was that we were going to do the infamous face swap filter, but it was unavailable, & we realized it was on the picture face swap instead right as it was finishing loading, & we both said, “wait, this is the picture one” & almost switched w/ the picture I had just taken w/ Jake. Then I asked him how tall he was, & he said, “I don’t know, 6′1?” I told him that I think he’s def 6′2. I also asked him if he was sick since I noticed he had been coughing a bit throughout the night, & he said he was, & I just kNEW he would probably get me sick too, & wow what a surprise, he did. Afterwards, I had him record a video for my best friend who couldn’t come (she started liking hippo when I did, but she is not as present in the “fandom” anymore), & I asked him if I should use the flash or not b/c I did not want to blind him w/o warning, he said whatever I want is fine, so I chose to do it w/o the flash, but ahh okay, I kept having to wave him around to try to be in better lighting, & I felt so bad. Then finally we said our goodbyes after he noticed that I was actually shivering, & he said, “well, it’s cold. I gotta go get warm; you gotta go get warm. It was so nice to see you,” & we hugged, but then we ended up walking in the same direction. As we finally broke away & I was almost to the car, he calls over & says, “I’m still only going to like your tweets,” & I deadass call back over & say, “you are annoying as fuck.” 

Post related events:

So when I got home from the show, I took to twitter to express my love & annoyance for such mango boy to acknowledge which included me tweeting him less than an hour after I left saying that he’s cute, & t’was a good fight. Also the next day (the day they had their second Conan performance), I tagged him in the comments of the first post I made of one of our pictures calling him out for not liking it & that we actually have to fight again if he doesn’t like it, & this child decided to like my cOMMENT INSTEAD. Then I commented again explaining that I was meaning the picture & not the comment, & he liked that one too. About a week later, I had told my mom & her boyfriend about the whole Zach thing, & I tweeted something my mom’s boyfriend said about me fucking up by not kissing Z (which would’ve been highly inappropriate wtf why would I??), & he liked that tweet too lmao. I was mortified. He’s liked some more stuff within that same period to now, but I cannot recall if they’d actually add anything to this?

Okay also disclaimer: I do not hate Zach, & he know this. It’s just how we are (which are two v extra people).. but he is def the bitch in our relationship thanks.