#been thinking about the convo in the observatory lately

[moonsart]

[laxiq-archive]

➳ ♡ . * ˚┊ h a p p y ⏤ 𝓁𝒶𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓃 ⏤  d a y .  * ₊ ˚ ✧

☾ vιιι.ιх.хvιιι // ʟᴀᴜʀᴇɴ’s 𝟷𝟿ᵀᴴ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ☽

ପ . * ˚ ₊ for those who don’t know lauren...,

  she is:         ♡ very witty         ♡ kind hearted         ♡ beautiful         ♡ amazing 12/10 recommend you follow her

let me tell you a bit more about her. 

firstly, she is horrendous with words. every now and then i could use a compliment, or when i’m sad i would like some soft words to make me feel better . .

 so i tell her . . her response 90% of the time? “yeet.”

     ♥︎ “u always look above decent.”      ♥︎ “⏤i will give you half of my liver.”      ♥︎ “basic human how r u.”

you get the point.

secondly, she has a terrible sleeping schedule and it makes me feel conflicted. let me tell you why. we live in different time zones so it’s easy for me to stay up late to talk to her. but i try to keep in mind that midnight for me means two in the morning for her. so i suggest she sleep, she refuses, and we keep talking. she’ll sleep late then wake up early for work. 

she makes me feel bad because as much as i want to talk to her when she gets off work, i know she’s tired so she should go to sleep early. but she doesn’t want to go to sleep early and the selfish part of me is glad because we get to talk more, but the rest of me feels very guilty because it’s not good for her.

thirdly, lauren has an awful diet. i feel like she eats ramen every single night. like??? it’s not healthy!! not healthy at all!! but she does it!! like, you better calm down there naruto. and i know y'all saw that post of me telling her to drink water. it’s because she had only consumed red bulls!! also not healthy!!

i could go on to tell you about other stuff she does.

   - reminds me every chance she gets that i’m short    - leaves our relationship on read    - the numerous times she’s fallen asleep on me    - made me sad once . . or twice . . thrice    - etc. etc.

what i am trying to tell you is lauren is not perfect. she has her flaws, she makes me sad at times, and i always wonder what she thinks of me because she’s never serious . . it’s all these negative things that reminds me just how incredibly human she is.

i adore everything about her, even these traits of hers. she is very bad with words but an incredible communicator. she’s willing to sacrifice sleep so we can talk about stupid stuff. she’s so real with me, not afraid to hide parts of her life with me, even the ugly stuff, and i really admire her these things about her.

she’s someone i talk to so often that it’s become easy to tell her stuff that i wouldn’t tell other people. so often that it’s easy to tell / show her how much I care about her. so often that my day feels incomplete strange if i don’t talk to her. she’s apart of my daily routine and i'm so blessed to have her apart of my life.

today is her nineteenth birthday, and i just want to attempt to put my feelings into words, just for her, on this beautiful thursday. ‧₊˚ ଓ

           ‧₊˚✧.  нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ                          нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ                     нαppy вιrтнdαy deαr lαυreɴ                          нαppy вιrтнdαy тo yoυ ‧₊˚✧

➳ ♡ . * ○┊ 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓁𝒶𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓃, 

   this is kind of hard; you already know my feelings. i was thinking about what to say to you now . . and i want you to know the depth of these feelings. but how do i express them to you? i’m not entirely sure to be honest. so i’ll just say whatever’s in my heart and hope my sincerity can reach you, despite the distance between us.

   a few months ago we met on this horrid site. i remember wanting to talk to you because i would read your tags and laugh, so i did my best to initiate a lame excuse of a conversation with you. ever since then you’ve become someone i cherish dearly. i want you to feel bliss every day of your life but that’s too unrealistic. so i hope that every day you heal, even if it’s just a little, and steadily grow into the person you want to be.

   truthfully, from the beginning, i felt very comfortable with you. maybe it was because of your carefree attitude, or maybe it was the kindness you showed me? perhaps it was our keysmash convos. whatever it was, it felt really natural to talk to you.

   since that day, my comfort has been growing with each joke, with each intimate moment, with each confinement. that comfort has recently evolved into something deeper. with you, i have reached a level of vulnerability. i feel like i could show you all of my weaknesses and i trust that you wouldn’t use that information to hurt me.

   ah, the depth of my love for you. where do i begin? you’re constantly on my mind; i see things that remind me of you, i hear songs and i wonder if you would like them. i worry for you when an hour passes and i haven’t received a response from you. you’re literally the only person i have no issues with when it comes to messaging back and forth all day every day.

   you already know that i sometimes act motherly to you because i truly want what’s best for you, right? i don’t intend to be annoying, and i know i can come across as just that sometimes when i constantly ask if you’re tired, or what time you work, or when i very lightly nag you for doing something dumb. but i do that all out of love. wow, i really do sound like a mother i am so sorry.

   i am not sure how else to explain to you my love for you. it’s like . . you’re my favorite human. i’m interested in everything about you ⏤ from your thoughts to your lifestyle to just you in general. i hope that someday in the future we can meet and go to an observatory. we can talk and watch the sun set before learning about the stars, it’ll be great i promise.

   i won’t ever forget those moments i spent on my vacation. when i was alone in my hotel room and i got really bad paranoia at night and freaked out. none of my friends were answering my calls when i needed them, and i felt like i was really going to die if i didn’t escape my thoughts. but while my friends didn’t return my calls, you texted me that entire time. you made sure i was okay, tried to calm me down, and made me feel better.

   i don’t think i ever really thanked you back then, but that meant so much to me. the first night it happened i felt a sense of security with you, and i was able to feel the warmth of your heart in that cold hotel room. i am so thankful for you. above all you’re my friend, and i hope we can be friends for a long time. you have such a pure soul, i don’t want to lose a person as good natured as you.

   i haven’t told you this as much as i should but i really do appreciate you. whenever i’m upset, which is like every other night, you don’t dismiss my feelings, you don’t get annoyed, nor do you comment on how often i get the blues. instead, you worry about me and urge me to talk about what’s bothering me, while still respecting my boundaries. you’re patient with me and let me vent to you and while you’re bad with putting your thoughts into words, you still do your best to comfort me. you’ve shown me so much compassion and love, more than i deserve, really.

   you also encourage me to become comfortable with the parts of myself that i’m shy with, which is so amazing. you make me feel good about the sides of me that i am insecure about and if that isn’t supporting someone else’s growth i don’t know what is.

   you have such a kind and understanding heart, i value you very much.

  i look forward to the future days where i can learn more about you ⏤ things you don’t like, like corn dogs for example; things that upset you, like ladies yelling at you, another example; and just see more of you. i want to have more talks with you about things that don’t matter and things that mean the world to you, and i want to enjoy your presence even though we’re miles away from each other.

    what i’m trying to say, in a nutshell, is in this short amount of time you’ve become my best friend. i love you very much lauren and i wish nothing but the best for you this year. happy birthday my goblin. 💘

                                               ⏤ 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁 ପ♡⃛ଓ