#been oscillating wildly between almost literally paralyzing panic/dread and totally normal feeling fine???
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#talking time! i have had Such a week#i dont wanna get too deep into it rn but man the shit has just not stopped happening.#been oscillating wildly between almost literally paralyzing panic/dread and totally normal feeling fine???#i didn't actually know that if im anxious enough i start having to do everything at about 25% speed but now i do and its kinda wild#but im fine. but also out of nowhere i need to sit down and put my feet up and be left alone. but im very functional actually#id like it to stop now please i think im gonna get dizzy#but now i have to think of something to do about the situation. and the solutions are. well#1. i feel like it would be easier for them n i owe them that but god i dont want to and for some reason they dont seem to want me to either#2. untenable i dont think it would be a good idea might actually be harmful but its whatll happen if i do nothing#or 3. possibly a good solution but so scary and so so so fuckupable and also involves asking a favor which i absolutely hate doing :/#im just so. im so? world upside down and i think i might be having actual ptsd about it. crazy times. now i have to go eat i haven't yet#complaining (tm)#delete later#maybe
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