#been free of ig reels for more than a year

[tojiscrack]

Guess who found your fic on ao3 at 11pm, not noticing the 108k words on the bottom and got so hooked even by the half quarter of the first chapter that resulted in her staying awake until 10 am, reading all 108k words in one sitting. Yes me. Me, who got so hooked she read it all in one sitting. Me, who’s now so emotionally attached to this fic that she’s anxious about your comments under the chapters, stating that THE MAIN PLOT hasn’t even STARTED YET. Me, who knows DAMN WELL the little caterpillars and butterflies and the moths story Megumi and y/n read out is for sure foreshadowing. Me, who’s noticed several butterfly symbolism used over the course of the story. Me, who screamed into her pillow when it was stated that y/n’a dress resembled a butterfly. Me, who’s seen your comment replying to someone, stating that there MIGHT be some kind of drifting apart. Me, who’s well ware of the Heavy Angst tag on the fic. Me, who knows that an author who’s this good at delivering humor and fluff is gonna DESTROY me when the angst is gonna be written. Me, who half regrets now that she’s discovered the story because she’s scared of all that’s about to come.

You seriously have a way with words, dialogue, symbolism, humor, the bond between every character. It’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you SOMEHOW do it SO WELL. I’m just. God. All the thoughts I have on this fic would maybe even rival the 108k words you’ve written up until now but I don’t have the capacity to put them into words as well as you do.

just know that this fic impacted me so much, so badly, years from now on after it's finished, I'll still think about it and re-read it.

so excited (and scared as hell ngl) to see where you'll be going with this story. I may havw joined late but I am sticking around till the end.

love you, great work <3

liar, liar masterlist here:

yayyy, another ao3 reader 😫 welcome to the tumblr crew, i’m so glad you’re hereeee ❤️‍🩹

i had to go back and check whether it really is 108k words and i found myself shocked bc damn, i really wrote that much? 😭 if i put half the effort i put into this story into my essays instead, maybe i’d be a better student but we live and we learn ig 😬

“emotionally attached” to the fic is mind blowing to me 🥹 i didn’t know it’d have this big of an impact on someone but i can’t say i’m displeased. that’s one of the nicest things i’ve heard on here (among other things ofc). ugh, you’re so nice for sending a message on that 🩷

and yes, you are absolutely right. the main plot does not start until next chapter (or more accurately — in terms of drama — somewhere down the line AFTER that) 👀 idk which comment i said that on but i trust ur judgement ‘cause i remember mentioning that somewhere 😭 DON’T BE SCARED, IT’LL BE FUN (and thrilling and scary) BUT STILL 😊

the butterfly thing you mentioned is interesting, actually 🫢 maybe i just really like butterflies (even tho they scare the ever living shit out of me and i nearly killed a few in the london zoo YEARS ago as a child cuz i was fidgeting since they just let them roam free in that greenhouse thingy and i was scared for my life and dying of heat with the humidity?).

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN STALKING MY PAGE BC I DO REMEMBER SAYING SMTH ALONF THOSE LINES I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE 😭 but i invite you to continue doing so bc i like watching my lovely little liars squirm and then send in their predictions and fear 😋 and this long, juicy message has me giggling to myself and REELING 🤭

yeah, but we’re not holding back on the heavy angst tag… er… buckle up? it’s gonna go downhill from here on out 😟

“you seriously have a way with words” — stop.

“it’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you somehow do it so well” — DOUBLE, TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE, INFINITY STOP OR I’LL CRY 🥹 no one has ever said that about my writing, and in fact, i hadn’t even noticed that myself 😭 i think i’m gonna levitate in glee ✨ to know it flows well enough for it to be commented on (out of ur own free will and not me pressing a gun to ur forehead), it’s just UGHHH so nice and sweet and i’m so glad you’ve joined the liar, liar community 😫 warmest welcome ml <3

gosh you’ve put this story on such a high pedestal, i’m almost scared i won’t be able to meet ur standards, even with everything planned beforehand 😟 but i’m willing to try. if you’re here for the super long ride (my updates are sporadic and will continue to be a such as the time goes on).

it was definitely not a LATE arrival per se — the liar, liar family is still pretty small. i’ve only got about 321 followers, so definitely not as much as the bigger jjk writers on here, and half of those are split between my megumi fic readers and levi fic readers. i now consider you an og just bc this analysis was so in depth and interesting, i found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🙂‍↔️

but i love you SO much for this. i’d love to see more comments and messages from you. don’t be afraid to spam me if you must (in fact, i encourage it!!!) 😁 i get so giddy and excited and motivated when ppl send me their predictions. it’s one of the greatest things about writing (and the best part imo).

have a lovely day! and i can’t wait for you to see the next chapter and what i have in store for you <3

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina... I need to rant 😠 lmfao

As a life-long Chiefs fan and KC native all I can say is this T*ylor shit is fucking annoying. I know you talk to a LOT of people in the fandom, so you may not remember, but I'm a fellow Sw*ftie hater (maybe that's too harsh but idgaf) and I didn't think it was possible to get more annoyed with this woman than I've been since I stopped being a fan in 2018. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm a die-hard Chiefs fan. I loved my team even when we sucked and couldn't make it to the playoffs (before Patrick Mahomes), so to see EVERYONE make the game on Sunday about her is beyond frustrating. People (Sw*fties) are seriously saying she's the only reason we won. Like we haven't won multiple AFC championships and two Super Bowls in the past three years. Maybe I'm just taking it too seriously, but when our boys played a kick ass game on Sunday after such a shitty season opener (that we lost), it was so nice to see that we're getting our mojo back but I literally can't look at any post, tweet, article, tv segment, etc that doesn't make the game about her.

God, please don't let her be around for the rest of the season 🙏🏻

Also, I'm not saying they're not hooking up, but this is 100% for PR. I've personally never seen them pan to a celebrity so many times during the game. I've never seen "candid" photos of Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, or any of the other popular Chiefs' players leaving Arrowhead Stadium after a game like we just got with Travis & T*ylor, or "candid" photos & videos of any of the popular players driving through the city, which is so sus. And then what really sealed the deal for me was that T*ylor announced earlier today that her concert film will be shown internationally. She was also named as an entertainer of the year for entertainment weekly and is on the cover. Not to mention, she has a new re-recording coming out in a month and continues to announce new versions of the 1989 re-recording. "Someone" must not be happy enough that she's already broke records with the Speak Now sales, is selling the most number of albums overall, but she must be aiming to break those Speak Now records with the 1989 re-recording sales bc she's releasing new versions quite often. I mean, how greedy can one person be. Like you haven't sold enough albums? You don't have enough publicity? You don't have enough money? It's just gross to me.

Also, I personally just found her reactions over the top for someone who isn't even a fan, especially whatever that head shake thing is at the end. But maybe that's just because I find everything she does annoying and cringe.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxmAHqjrACL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Plus, the stats around Travis and the Chiefs have skyrocketed. So they're absolutely getting a lot out of this as well as the NFL like someone mentioned earlier.

I'll attach an article but here are some numbers:

Travis' jersey sales went up almost 400%

Stubhub ticket sales for Chiefs' home games increased threefold in just 24 hrs

Travis gained 325k new ig followers - more than he gained after winning the last Super Bowl

Sunday's Chiefs' game was the most watched NFL game on any network last week

It was also the most watched game among girls and women 12 to 49 yrs old

https://www.axios.com/2023/09/26/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-merch-sales-up-chiefs-kansas-city

And yes, I know I know a lot about her for someone who doesn't like her. But she's inescapable even when I have muted everything related to her... And now she's taking over my everything related to my favorite football team and my city 🤢 Where's Pete Davidson when you need him? 😂

Ok, sorry for that rant. I know I probably sound ridiculous, but I prefer my life T*ylor free just like I prefer my life Ol*via free, and I thought you might understand 😂 Anyways, feel free not to post if you don't want to discuss her anymore.

I hope you're having a good night, Gina. Lots of love.

She really is a horrendous actress. Everything she did at that game was so embarrassingly fake. But clearly people want to believe it because it’s everywhere.

That’s bananas how much his stats already went up and just shows why it’s worth it to do this kind of nonsense, even to someone who’s already really famous.

I’m not interested in football at all, but I’m so sorry she’s contaminating your safe space. 😩

[tayfabe75]

Hi! I love your blog! I've never been so entertained in a celebrity couple before. Whatever they are doing is working! How do you feel about the recents events? Rings and IG stories from G, just right after Taylor Surprise songs. That weird US article going around about Matty saying he thought ttpd is hilarious . Do you still believe they are in a kayfabe? Matty finally posted on his Ig stories. And Taylor seemed Sad in the past couple concerts.

Thank you, anon! I've been absent for a few days, so I'm not sure if this came in before or after the engagement news, but I suppose my thoughts haven't changed much either way. Yes! I definitely still believe this is all kayfabe.

I have long since believed engagements would be on the table as Taylor, in particular, romanticizes broken engagements and interrupted weddings (though I admit, I thought it would be the other couple doing it lol). And though the news was shocking, it still doesn't change the fact that Matty's fiancée's Wikipedia page used to redirect to SATVB in June of last year, months before they started dating. Why? Combine that with all of Matty's weird comments throughout SATVB in general, but particularly: "This is a movie don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

What's more interesting than whatever Taylor or Matty are doing is all the chatter going on online. I've actually been pretty content to be quiet because there's just so much noise! What I will say about the IG stories coming just after surprise songs is that if you happen to notice it and post about it anywhere publicly online, you will get a free mental health diagnosis! And look, I don't know how Instagram works but I heard you have to approve what you're tagged in and I remember this post causing a small fuss.

The social media aspect of this is my least favorite to keep up with or analyze - I just don't personally care for social media in general, or celebrity gossip. I follow the storyline, but I'm not interested in a lot of the conversation that's going on right now, since a lot of it is about his looks, his clothes, or whether Matty made the right match for himself. The first two I find rude, and the latter, well - I may speculate on whether what is presented is reality, but he's a grown man! If I'm wrong about the theories and the engagement is his real, authentic life, then I'm happy for him!

However, it's dozens of things that he, himself, has said leading up to and throughout The 1975's most recent tours that make me doubt it. If he had talked a little less about life being a movie, simulations, fourth and fifth walls, Kaufman, performance art, not trusting earnest moments or everything you see on a screen, etc - then I would have moved on lol

But for now, we've got Jordan recently hearkening back to ATPOIAM, and someone recently pointed out that the "SHOW" Highlights reel is still on Matty's Instagram (though most everything else from the tour has been wiped!)

[chapterthirty5]

1/4/2025 @10:55AM

Headed to Memphis, TN with CG and her sister.

Road Trip! 🚘

The woman below is the mother of some girl named Maria on IG. Maria is irrelevant however her mom is CUNT. Her mom has it figured out. She takes weed gummies and goes shopping at like HomeGoods and Marshall’s. I’m definitely picking up that habit this year.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAgk_O7venK/?igsh=Y2lqZHd0NTBpNWE4

1:55PM

We’re still on the road…about 32 min away. I’m so hungry I could eat the biggest salad right now.

Anywho, I’m checking in to discuss my recent epiphany on this trip. The experience was more than a moment ago so I’m going to try and reiterate as best I can.

It’s in regard to circumstances and opportunities. I believe the topic was religion and I got to thinking…our people (black people) rely so heavily on religion for guidance. Religion for reassurance. Religion for reinforcing. We like to think, if it’s Gods will, it will happen. Then I thought about how growing up I questioned religion and started learning more about spirituality. I felt empowered learning and about manifestation and vibrational energies and it resonated with me more than the religious practices I’d been raised to believe in. However today, as I’m listening to CG’s sister express her views on being raised on love versus survival, it triggered a new belief. We don’t know what’s next so believing in a pre-determined destiny and allowing that belief to govern our way of life seems a bit insane to me. We should believe in our current competency and exercise our abilities to their fullest capability. Our achievements are a direct result of our actions and reactions. Not a pre-determine destiny created by a higher power. We’re supposed to exercise blind faith and have unconditional hope and have confidence that those practices will overcome all of our challenges. I think black people as a whole (especially older) are so passionate about religion and following religious beliefs because our ancestors were experiencing major hardships in their lifestyles such as slavery, segregation and deprivation, they desperately needed something to believe in just to survive. They were uneducated due to lack of resources so they adapted the practices available to them. Christianity and Baptism were highly visible and heavenly practiced during that time so that’s what our ancestors believed in and adapted. Visualizations of a white man healing and helping people in need out of pure love for mankind provided a safe haven for our ancestors. It was a light and the end of a very dark tunnel. However,

In current day and due to our current economic advances, black people have become free thinkers. We’re questioning our cultures traditional beliefs and using our resources to create our own belief system.

I said all that to say, we’re in control. Our habits, our beliefs, and efforts are the only contributing factors to our circumstances. Once you decide your path, every action, every belief, everything you do should align with that path. Anything that doesn’t is a distraction and distractions pioneer failure.

4:03PM

We’re at the game. The game starts at 4:30pm. We’re in this random hick like town at Bethtel University. Makenzie, TN. That’s irrelevant though. The next step is identifying my path.

4:39PM

CG isn’t listening to me so let’s continue.

Firstly,

Pretty privilege is real. No matter how shallow or taboo of a mentality it is to have, in this year and society it matters what you look like, it matters what car you drive, the education you have, your pedigree. How you present yourself to the world matters and everyday you have to decide what message you’re going to send.

Next, mannerisms.

My path is hyper focused on femininity. Self care, adornment, prioritizing myself and curating a signature look. Polished presentation, sit up straight. Perception is everything. Reputations are built and with practice and discipline, an elite reputation can be cultivated. I was watching an interview of Saweetie recently and she said how when she first got started with her career she was representing the Icy lifestyle but barely had $20 in her account. She realized if she was gonna rap about it, she had to be about it. She gave herself one year to make it in CA and within that year, Icy went viral. She said the key to success is creating deadlines. So I’m going to adapt the Saweetie mindset. If I’m gonna be better than everyone then I have to be better than everyone. Luckily I’ve learned that to be better than everyone it only takes about 2% more effort than I’m already putting in. So, going forward, I’m better than everyone. Period.

Less is more, only in a few cases. In terms of handbags, that revelation rules supreme. The last thing a lady needs to be doing is fumbling around in her purse. Only the essentials should be carried at all times. Lipgloss, keys, a card carrying wallet, a small makeup touch up kit, a charger and maybe a pen.

Side note,

Being a lady also means knowing when to be quiet. It’s more feminine and alluring to choose to say nothing especially when faced with ignorance.

HOWEVER, if a mf is playing in your face, check they ass.

Period.

A good rule of thumb is..don’t speak unless spoken to, don’t laugh, don’t smile, don’t even think. (I believe that’s from a movie)

6:21PM

The game is over. They won. Apparently it was a “sloppy win”. Anywhosie I have a lot of congestion in my chest so I’m coughing excessively and now I’m in the back seat with students. Patience is a virtue.

Back to mannerisms. Taking amazing care of yourself is key. Moisturizing facials, nourishing foot masks, luscious body butters, healthy colorful diet, being educated on current events, educational ambitions and preparation. Preparation is key to being in control.

8:57PM

I am currently EXTREMELY uncomfortable due to the fact that I’ve been holding my urine for over an hour. I will NEVER travel with other people again. If simple liberties such as restroom breaks won’t be taken into consideration, I will not be involved.

The driver is hell bent on getting to a specific location on the route. It’s the same distance home no matter when we stop so I’m confused. And the fact that CG hadn’t done a thing is disappointing.

10:49PM

We’re back in St. Louis and…she left the dog food in the rental car. So, she’s upset. 🙄 Instead of just being patient and going to get it from her sister who is maybe 10-15 minutes away from where we were, she’s like frustrated because she didn’t go inside Walmart earlier and buy it. Like omg the ass backwards of it all. To be mad right now instead simply resolving the issue is pointless. Literal waste of time and energy. But be my guest. I won’t argue or engage in ignorance. Just don’t be mad when shit doesn’t bother me anymore.

[wornoutspines]

What's better than one broody tattoo artist? TWO, that's what. Hurt/comfort, friends-to-lovers, and forced proximity combine in this gorgeous second chance MM romance from Garrett Leigh.

Read House of Cards today, and fall in love with Brix and Callum - free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription!

Calum Hardy’s life has unravelled. Reeling from the betrayal of a man he once loved, he boards a train heading south, with no real idea where he’s going except a world away from London.

Brix Lusmoore can hardly believe his eyes when he spots one of his oldest friends outside Truro station. He hasn’t seen Calum since he fled the capital himself four years ago, harbouring a life-changing secret. But despite the years of silence, their old bond remains, warm and true—and layered with simmering heat they’ve never forgotten.

Calum takes refuge with Brix and a job at his Porth Ewan tattoo shop. Bit by bit, he rebuilds his life, but both men carry the ghosts of the past, and it will take more than a rekindled friendship and the magic of the Cornish coast to chase them away.

*Previously published as part of the Porthkennack shared world series, these titles have been significantly reworked and re-edited, and contain strong links to the bestselling Rebel Kings MC series*

.

CONNECT → FB garrettleighauthor | IG garrett_leigh | TT garrettleighbooks | X garrett_leigh

[solannecontinuum]

Oh!! So this is your second time getting to use Tumblr? Well, perhaps I can help a little bit! I am a 2012 Tumblr veteran, and it's both changed in a lot of ways yet also stood the same in contrast to most social media sites. Here's what I can share with you, based on the years I've used this site.

For starters, there actually really isn't any algorithms, and if there is, it is are very basic in nature. Tumblr is very good like that. It does take some time to get the ball rolling, regarding gaining traction, and you'll still experience hit-or-miss engagement at times, but there's no complex secret algos that do secret things such as showing your posts more if you do certain formats (like how IG prioritizes reels versus posts), hiding your posts for using certain words (more on that in a bit), or even shadow banning. That doesn't exist here at all, despite how most mainstream socials behave that way.

Dashboards can be set to show posts chronologically. It's not on by default, and most likely your dashboard is currently on "best posts first". You can change this in Settings > Dashboard > turn off "Best Stuff First." and you will have a pure chronological dashboard!

The first five tags are what are most important regarding your works showing up in tags. I was still surprised that this is still a thing (was implemented in mid-2010s, I believe?), but yes, make sure that you keep the most relevant tags as the first five. Sounds a little strange, but that's just how it continues to be, for some reason. You can have more than five tags, of course, but keeping the first fives ones the most relevant can help you be seen by more people.

Speaking of tags, PLEASE tag any content warnings with full, uncensored words so that tag filters can detect them. This whole dumb word censoring BS started on TikTok and Twitter, and sadly thanks to the mass migration to Tumblr currently happening, that censoring certain words mentality is making its way onto here, in which IS NOT GOOD AT ALL. Like I previously stated, there is literally no shadow banning happening on here, so it's not necessary to censor words. Most of all, people have certain CWs filtered so that posts containing anything about them are not shown; however, by doing shit like "cw bl00d" (real thing I saw) when tagging, it's not detected by those who have "cw blood" in their filters, thus that post still shows up regardless. This is heavily frowned upon here, so please type the full word for any CWs you need to tag.

You can also have your own blog theme! Many newcomers are not even aware that you can actually have a viewable blog page besides the default scrolling one that shows up upon clicking someone's username. You can turn this on in Settings > Blogs (click your blog) > Enable custom theme. Tumblr provides loads of versatile free blog theme templates that you can adjust, but creating blog themes via HTML is also available! Probably the most freedom you can have regarding blog customization. Real quick, I HIGHLY recommend visiting themesrec if you're seeking theme templates but made with HTML!! I've been using them since late high school, and there's a lot to choose from with high customization (despite the blog being dead for years now).

Some other little tidbits (added @ 8:17AM)

If you wish to comment on someone's art, you can do so in the tags of your reblogs! People like to leave comments in the tags and really gush about what you've made, and it's definitely one of the best aspects to this website. There's nothing I love more than seeing a reblog with someone having a happy stroke in the tags! Stuff like that brightens days for sure. And as a final note to let you know .... growth isn't or shouldn't really be your endgoal/ your purpose for posting art on here, so I would not recommend treating Tumblr that way. IG, TikTok, and Twitter have done some serious damage hamming in on becoming big with big numbers and "OOOOOH gotta appease the almighty algorithm gods to get numbers!!" n' junk. But Tumblr isn't really about that. Even having a couple hundred followers is good enough, honestly. Tumblr's mainly a place to vibe most of all; all you really need is a target audience or circle of friends n' mutuals and just vibe n' share sillies, versus trying to endlessly grow to receive acknowledgement and do what's trending or whatever while literally lose your soul in the process. By letting yourself just be, your experience on Tumblr will be a WHOLE lot more fun and enriching.

Those are the most important ones I can think of at the moment, but please, if you have any further Tumblr questions, please do drop them in my ask box!!! There's so much to Tumblr and there's a reason why it's much more chill and comfortable compared to TikTok and Twitter - or uh, as the kids say, Tumblr is our HELLSITE /POSITIVE / AFFECTIONATE and not Twitter/TikTok HELLSITE /NEGATIVE /DEROGATORY

PS: here we do not use very modern words such as "moots" or "oomfs" - we just say "mutuals" and "followers". Thought I'd let you know.

OH MY GOODNESS, YOU'RE ON TUMBLR AS WELL?!?! YES!!! I always love seeing your art on my feed on InstaSky, and I will always adore the commission you made for me of my beloved little moth goddess. 💖

oh my gosh hiii?? nice to see a familliar face! 🫶

Yes!! it's my second attempt to grow a tumblr, IT'S VERY UNUSUAL HERE and in meantime I'm slowly palping algorithms

I'm happy i made something you cherish till this day :'''з

[deebeeus]

Test Post #3

I just uploaded this same exact photo to Instagram with the following caption:

TestingTuesday

I'm just testing to see if instagram destroys the quality of this pic as it has done to many of my pictures lately.

1968 #Gibson #ES330 1988 #Fender #RedknobTwin

I have been very discouraged with instagram in the last few weeks.  I mean more so than usual lol.  Sure, the changing algorithm that favours Reels over old-fashioned still photos has hurt my engagement and new follower numbers.  But I don't really care about that.  All I ever wanted to do here was to take nice, high quality pictures of nice, high quality (preferably vintage!) guitars and, if I like the photos enough,  share them with people who will appreciate them.

Up until recently I was doing just that, despite my lowest engagement in 8 years (because I just don't *do* the tiktok style stuff IG wants users to do so it can stay relevant to the tiktok crowd). But a few weeks ago I started noticing that the quality of my uploaded photos was getting really degraded.  Especially the ones shot in low natural light at high ISO.  This never happened before, and it's kind of the last straw...I think IG is compressing even more now to free up space for reels.  Whatever is happening, it's making my best photos look mediocre and my mediocre ones look like the were taken 10 years ago on a blackberry! 🤣

All I care about is posting good quality photos and if Instagram is good to kill the quality then I'm not sure what I'm even doing here.

As I said, I'm testing with this photo.  It was taken in low light at ISO 800 and I have a feeling IG is going to turn it into a grainy mess in the compression process.  If that happens I might just move back to Tumblr where I started out 12 years ago.

deebeeus.tumblr.com

#guitarphotography

Edit: yep.  Complete garbage 🙁

Looks like I’ll be posting separately here to keep the photo quality high.

[cold-riot]

Some gayish questions: 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 37, 39, 55, 66, 67, 70, 71, 75, 80, 95, 96, 98, 99

lmao sorry im just the kinda person who asks a lot its ok if you dont answer some

thank u for asking my love!! no question is off limits for me :)

4 - is your current hair color your natural hair color? - yes it is!! I dyed my hair for AGES but I'm finally at the "i need to wear my natural hair color before it falls out" stage 😂

5- are you more outgoing or more shy? - sometimes I feel shy but when I'm around people, my natural personality is very outgoing!

6 - are you more femme or butch? - def more femme!

7 - are you tol or smol? - oh I am very smol (5'4" hehe)

9 - weird habit? - I don't think I have any like weird habits?? but I definitely have anxiety-influenced habits like consistent foot tapping and skin-picking and shit, like to the point where other people notice 😅

11 - do you sing in the shower? - more like I put on my own fucking CONCERT in the shower omg

37 - something you fantasize about. - being in a band. that would be so fucking dope.

39 - what was the last thing that made you laugh? - I think some TikTok or IG reel

55 - did you hang out with the person you like recently? - heck yeah!! he's my bf and I live with him 😎

66 - who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? - oh God this is such a good question. ngl I think it was Velma in that fucking Scooby-Doo movie when she walks down the stairs in that orange leather jumpsuit like 😍 ok mommy sheeeeesh

67 - intimidating girls or kind girls? - I personally vibe most with kind girls. intimidating can sometimes be hot but usually its a turn-off for me and makes you unapproachable.

70 - are you good at flirting? - ummm to an extent HAHA I feel like I can get awkward about it sometimes, but maybe after like 3 glasses of wine I'll be feeling pretty confident 😂

71 - who was the first person you came out to? - so I haven't really fully, truly "come out" in the sense of like making a post about it and telling people and stuff like that. I think all the people in my life know because it's been casually brought up in conversation or were there to see me go through various relationships with women so like they knew. but I never actually ever "came out." some people in my life don't know, and that's fine. I think me not entirely coming out has to do with a deep-rooted scared feeling of feeling rejected or abandoned because my family is very much conservative and I know they wouldn't be cool with it, so I've just always kept it as a topic of conversation more than a sit-down let-me-get-this-off-my-chest kind of thing. family still doesn't know, but I've come to terms with the fact that it's also none of their business (especially as a 26-year-old woman)!

75 - write a short love poem to your crush/self? - omg this is hard but i love poetry writing ok lemme try

free spirit baby

i envy the carefree light in your eyes

a soul that serves for the weak, unknown

and though you lack the strength to see

i’ll burden your last breath

((i can't help but make any love poem also sound sad sorry LOL))

80 - what is your “type?” - ummm for men definitely facial hair, i def like a guy with a beard, usually heavier set. for women I usually like more femme, also heavier set. look I'm just about the BBW okay 😂

95 - do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? - I actually don't have a fave lesbian ship at all! I usually read a lot of male x male ships

96 - what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? - honestly no one has really said anything that aggravates me, but I've definitely had some people in the past make the comment that I must "get a lot of butch pussy" because I'm so femme and it just bothers me when people say that :/ just comes off as insensitive.

98 - what is love to you? - love is eternal, love is everything. love is what feels like home to you. you look at that person and you feel home.

99 - ask me anything - I wanna know your gay awakening! I LOVE hearing these stories, they always make my day haha.

[thatbloodymuggle]

the one with the contaminated beer bottle

Tongue Tied 1/?

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word count: 2.6k

warnings: cursing ig? mentions of death

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"Miss Connolly, what makes you think you'd be a good fit for emancipation?"

The unbothered judge flipped through a stack of papers, glasses nearly falling off the bridge of his nose. The seventeen-year-old shifted uncomfortably in her seat between her uncle and her lawyer. It was painfully evident that all four of them, the judge, the lawyer, the uncle, and the girl, would rather be anywhere else.

"Well," the girl coughed to clear her throat, "I believe that I have the facilities to thrive on my own. I have a paid off house and car in my name from my mom's will, a sizeable amount of savings from my dad's, and a steady income from my job. It's not huge, but I'm hoping to build it up over the summer. I'm also on track to go to UNC Chapel Hill with my test scores and my dad's legacy, so education won't be a problem."

The air in the room seemed to get thicker with each word. The girl's throat was drying, and she felt the sweat building up on her palms. The office was silent apart from the nail-tapping of the lawyer, the occasional cough from the judge, and her uncle's chair squeaking.

"Overall, I think I'm just as capable to provide for myself, if not more, than my uncle. I believe I am responsible enough to be recognized as an adult, and I really want this for myself," she finished.

The girl let out a huge sigh she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. The drab room grew silent again apart from the bored "hmm" from the judge. Her uncle squeaked in his chair again. The nail-tapping from the lawyer continued.

"Mr. Connolly, do you believe your neice is a good candidate for emancipation?"

The greying man didn't hesitate to grumble a rushed 'Yes' while stroking his untamed beard. The judge nodded in response.

"And Mrs. Watson, based on your assessment, do you too believe that Miss Connolly is a good candidate for emancipation?"

The lawyer stopped her nail tapping and shot a plastic smile towards the judge. "Yes Sir. From my meetings with Miss Connolly, I believe she is a perfect fit," molasses dripped from her deep voice, gravelly from years of smoking.

"Well," the judge shuffled a few more papers, "Then it seems you've made my job here easy. With great references and support from your uncle and reviewer, I don't see any reason to deny you what you want. By the power vested in me by the North Carolina Judicial System, I declare Rose-Ann Mae Connolly to be an emancipated minor."

The air in the room thinned and Rosie felt a massive weight lift off her shoulders.

The next few minutes of papers and signatures were a blur. Her body carried her through the motions, but her mind was elsewhere. Somewhere in the realm of 'Holy shit. I'm free'. She swiftly shook the judge's hand, and collected her paperwork. Her uncle was already out the door, and she didn't hesitate to follow.

The pair weaved in and out of hallways and staircases towards the exit in silence. Rosie's mind was reeling with too many emotions, and David Connolly just wanted to get home and continue his marathon of Duck Dynasty. Before she knew it, they'd reached her mom's Mini-Cooper and his 2004 Toyota Corolla parked side by side. David Connolly continued to move in silence as he transferred a large suitcase from his trunk to her backseat.

"Well, uh," he swung the door of her red car shut, "I guess this is it."

He shifted awkwardly, and scratched at his overgrown beard. The Connollys cleared their throats simultaneously in a pathetic attempt to fill the awkward silence.

"Yeah, looks like it," Rosie sighed with a tight-lipped smile. Her uncle nodded sharply and unlocked his dented car door.

"Drive safe, then. You have my number if something goes wrong," the greying man grunted while climbing into his beat-up car.

Rosie waved a breathy, "Bye," just as he slammed the car door shut. He didn't hesitate to pull, quite recklessly, out of the parking lot. The 17-year-old watched the Toyota drive away until she could no longer see it. She shook herself back to reality as the car blinked from existence. Slowly, a grin took over her face. Her heart beat out of her chest in excitement.

She could finally go home.

Rosie jumped into her infamous red Mini-Cooper and slammed the door shut behind her. She gripped the wheel, her grin growing so wide it hurt. She released the scream of excitement bubbling inside her. She must have looked crazy to anyone passing by, but Rosie didn't care.

She was finally going home.

The young girl forced herself to settle down, but a smile remained. Rosie inserted her mother's Beatles for Sale CD into the car player and prepared herself for the 2-hour drive to the OBX. The engine revved in sync with the silky, smooth voice of Paul McCartney. Rosie zoomed out of the parking lot in record time to begin her trek down the North Carolina state road. Signs, farms, and gas stations passed, but the only thing on Rosie's mind was home.

God, she'd missed her friends. She'd missed late nights at The Wreck with Kie, and study sessions on the docks with Pope. She'd missed impromptu races against John B, and the whole crew dog-piling on John B's hammocks. Hell, she'd even missed rolling blunts with JJ and their constant bickering.

Rosie's fingers drummed against the steering wheel to the beat of Eight Days A Week. The warmth in her stomach and the smile on her face felt unfamiliar. This was the first time she'd felt true joy since her mom had passed just 4 months earlier. Finally, everything seemed to be falling back into place.

By the time the teenager had reached the ferry, she'd cycled through two Beatles CD's and one Bob Dylan. Just a little further, she thought to herself as she boarded the large boat. Her phone buzzed beside her. She scrambled to grab it, nearly dropping it.

12:01 P.M   Kie: any news?

1:43 P.M   Pope: How'd it go?

1:44 P.M   Pope: Btw, if u can't come back we'll survive. U know like good riddance see u never  type vibe

1:45 P.M   Pope: Sorry that was JJ

1:45 P.M   Pope: He's an ass

3:59 P.M   JB: ur KILLING us here. what's the verdict!?

Rosie grinned at the texts she'd received from her friends over the past couple of hours. She began to type a reply, but deleted it midway. She was so close by now that it would be more fun to surprise them instead.

The teenager leaned against the railing next to her car. The salty smell and cool breeze tickling her nose was a bliss like no other. Rosie peered into the distance, catching sight of a blurry island in the distance. A soft grin tugged at her lips. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, enjoying the ocean air and peaceful waves she'd missed oh-so-much.

The warmth in her gut grew as the ferry approached the dock. Within minutes, Rosie was driving her Mini-Cooper off the massive boat.

The Outer Banks. Home. She couldn't believe she was finally back. Rosie turned onto the main road and drove towards the small home one of her dearest friends inhabited. She'd drop off her things at her own house later. She just couldn't wait a second longer before seeing her friends.

Rosie usually hated driving through the Figure Eight, but even the sight of the lavish houses and boys in polos put a smile on her face. It was the first sense of familiarity she'd felt in months. Minutes passed and her heart raced as she got closer and closer. Before she knew it, the Chateau was just in the distance. Another uncontrollable grin took over Rosie's face. She was bouncing in her seat in excitement.

She pulled her small car onto the gravel driveway and jumped out. Rosie stared at the shack in disbelief for a brief moment. She was afraid she'd never see the beat-up place ever again, but here she was. Kie's familiar shriek sounded from inside the house. This was enough to send Rosie racing towards the front door. The screen door nearly swung off its hinges from her force.

Four startled faces shot towards the door. There was a moment of silence: Rosie beaming in the doorway, John B dropping a half-full bottle of beer, Pope hanging sideways off the couch, Kie dropping her jaw, and JJ, well, JJ looking unbothered

The few seconds of silence were short-lived as the room burst out into indistinguishable screams.

"Oh my god!"

"You're alive!"

"She's a free woman!"

Rosie was tackled by Kie, quickly followed by John B and Pope. The four teenagers nearly tumbled to the ground.

"Guys... can't.. breathe..." Rosie struggled from underneath John B's armpit.

"It's what you get for leaving us hanging all day! We thought we'd never see you again," Kie laughed, squeezing her friend even tighter.

"Oh come on, Kie," Rosie wiggled out of the suffocating group hug. "I wanted it to be a surprise! I did good too, didn't I? Gotta keep you on your toes," she giggled.

"It was a pretty good surprise, Kie," Pope laughed, swinging an arm over Rosie's left shoulder while John B took her right.

"I've seen better. You know, could've added some flair: fireworks, balloons, a unicorn. 5 out of 10 at best," a certain blond piped up from the couch.

Rosie Connolly locked eyes with JJ Maybank. Usually, her mortal nemesis—a pest, if you will—but today, a friend. A mischievous grin took over her face, matching his playful smirk.

"Hey to you too, shithead," she quipped. "Aw, how sweet! You got me a 'welcome home' gift," Rosie swiftly shot forward and snagged his beer bottle mid-swig. JJ yanked her arm back in an attempt to salvage his beer, but she'd already stuck her tongue inside it.

"Oh, sorry, did you want this?" Rosie cocked her head at a pissed off JJ. "How rude of me! Here, you can have it," the girl feigned innocence, but couldn't wipe the devious smirk from her lips.

JJ snatched the beer back, "Oh nah," he spit inside the bottle, swirled it around a little, and handed it back to Rosie, "It's all yours. Welcome home, bitch."

She crinkled her nose in disgust at the contaminated drink. JJ leaned back in his seat, clearly pleased with himself. Rosie moved to dump the drink over his head, but John B intercepted before it could escalate.

"Hey hey, no need to get all loved up now. Let's keep the PDA to a minimum," John B snatched the bottle and set it on the counter. He tossed two new bottles to his bickering friends. Rosie caught it gracefully, and fell back onto the couch next to Kie.

"I swear, in some past life you two were an old married couple," Kie laughed, draping her legs over Rosie's. The Pogues chorused in laughter, apart from JJ and Rosie. He shot her his infamously infuriating smirk, to which she took a massive swig of beer.

"Damn, I've missed this," Rosie moaned at the bitter taste. "Haven't had a drink in four months."

Rosie brought the bottle back to her lips to take a second sip, but paused upon the realization that all four pairs of eyes were trained on her expectantly.

"What?" she cried, "Can I not have a drink without being stared down?"

"What do you mean what? We haven't seen you in four months and all you've gotta say is how much you love beer?" Pope deadpanned.

"Rose-Ann Mae Connolly, I knew you were always just mooching off of me!" John B jokingly accused. Rosie rolled her eyes at the two boys and set down the bottle.

"What've you been up to without us? How was the end of the school year? How was the trial?" Kie ignored John B and turned to face her friend with curious eyes.

"School? Boring. Living with David? Boring. Trial? Boring. And there you have it! 4 months in 5 seconds!" Rosie entangled her legs with Kiara's, letting her feet fall onto John B's lap.

Kiara began to protest at the severe lack of information, but was interrupted.

"A woman of many words," JJ grumbled from across the couch with his eyes closed as if he were mid-nap.

"Seriously, guys," Rosie huffed, "That's all it was—boring. But I'm here now, a legal adult, and I just wanna have fun, so let's do something fucking insane!" she diverted her friends away from asking anymore questions.

Truth be told, the last few months had been absolutely miserable. Grief is a heavy emotion. The great thing about having a family and friends is they can help carry some of the weight. But Rosie had been forced to spend those months grieving over the loss of her mother alone, and she was ready to move past it.

"Fair enough. Why don't we go late-night diving off the cliff up Old Miller Road later?" Kie suggested.

"Do you want to die?" Pope deadpanned at the same time that JJ spoke, "Sounds exhilarating".

"Oh, come on Pope. It's my first night back! Do it or you're lame," Rosie laughed at her nervous friend.

"Then I'm lame."

"Well, 4 to 5 majority rules," John B clapped his hands, "we'll leave from here at 10:00."

Four out of the five teenagers cheered. Pope crossed his arms and grumbled in disapproval.

Rosie pulled herself from the confines of Kie, "Sounds like a plan, but I should probably head back to my place for a little bit before. Need to unpack and, uh, clear some stuff out," she coughed awkwardly at the last part. Her friends nodded in understanding.

"I can come with if you want? You know, help you unpack and stuff," Kiara offered a warm smile.

Rosie smiled back, but shook her head, "Thanks, Kie, but I've got it covered."

"Are you sure?" John B added.

"Really," Rosie emphasized. "I'll be fine. I need to sort some papers out, anyways." The newly-emancipated teenager reluctantly lifted herself from the comfy couch and the warmth of her friends. "I'll be back soon. Don't you worry your pretty little head," she made a show of ruffling John B's untamed hair.

"Hurry back!" JJ's voice dripped with sarcasm underneath the hat that was now covering his face.

"Just for you," Rosie quipped. She did one last once-over at her friends before swinging the unstable door open. "See you soon!" she called as she strode back to her car.

The chatter of her friends died out as she moved further from the house and closer to the Mini-Cooper. A different sort of happiness flooded her body. Being isolated from the people she loved for so long was like losing a piece of her heart, and she'd finally found it. It was a warmth like no other, and as she drove home, she could only count down the minutes until she'd be with them again.

-

this is unedited oops

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[cooloddball]

DESTIEL AND COCKLES RANT

THIS IS A RANT ON ALL THINGS DESTIEL AND COCKLES

PS. I do not know how to make gifs and or use photos yet so feel free to add yours

I have said this before and I will say it again. I have been in this fandom for a month and I ship Destiel and Cockles anyone who has a problem with this then move along and/or if you are an anti and read this, keep your hateful comments to yourself.

That being said, I have read about almost all ships in the fandom but mostly Destiel, Cockles, Wincest, and J2. Through all the reading and discovery, I still have to say I ship Cockles and Destiel more than ever before. However, I have seen some things from the antis that did not sit well with me.

This is going to be a long post so brace yourself and it is mostly about the hate the antis (anti-cockles, anti-wives , and anti-Destiel Shippers spread). Also this is a rant so don’t mind me,

ON DESTIEL

The hate on Destiel is massive. Mostly this is from Bronlies who hate Cas like he is the anti-Christ, and the Wincest shippers.

Now I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade but come on. Cas is Dean’s best friend. Whether you ship them romantically or not, it is canon that Cas Dean’s best friend. We have seen time and again how miserable Dean is every time Cas dies. Dea has also expressly stated that Cas is his best friend and even said they are better together; all three of them including Sam. He has called him his family. So why the hate? Chuck himself has said that he has rebuilt Cas more times than anyone.

Now, people who believe that it is better to ship Sam and Dean who are literally blood brother but it is not okay to ship Dean and Cas what is wrong with you? Is it okay for someone to fuck their brother and/or be in love with them? I mean come on.

Before I was even a shipper, I always looked forward to episodes that Cas was in. He brought a different dynamic to the show in a positive way. Yes, I love the brothers but Cas is just deifferent and all the sass he brings makes the show, at least to me 10 times better. Sue me.

People saying that JA would never be comfortable with Destine because he is a Christian. I mean, he can call Chuck a dick, call angels dicks, make deals with demons and all other unchristian things but kissing another man is where he draws the line? If he was such a Christian, why does he let another man straddle him on stage or want to kill God?

Someone once said that JA supports wincest. I saw the video and I get what he said is that whatever floats your boat or something like that. So why is it so hard for him when it comes to Destiel? I don’t understand this man. He is a paradox.

 ON COCKLES

I have seen antis, mostly those who ship J2 throw shade at MC saying that JA doesn’t like him, he just tolerates him and everything they do is for PR. I have not once seen anyone say that JP doesn’t like MC. You know why? I believe they view MC as a threat to their J2 ship.

So I stumbledupon this antis blog who had a whole analysis (much like am doing here) on why JA cannot be a couple. Here are some that I remember from the top of my head:

1.     That JA said that he thinks Matt Bomer is attractive.

2.     That JA moved to Austin to be live next to JP.

3.     That JA and MC have nothing in common being that JA plays golf and sings etc and that MC does woodwork, writes poetry and bicycle touring.

4.     That JA is with JP hence no. 2.

5.     That JA does not curse on stage but MC does.

6.     That MC does not take acting seriously but JA does.

Now now now. This beats logic. All the above things I beg to differ with not because I am cockles shipper but it is just common sense.

Being with someone or rather being in love with someone does not mean any of the above things have to be true. Hear me out.

1.     On finding Matt Bomer attractive. I have many celebrity crushes, there are also ordinary people that I find attractive. But then again, I have a boyfriend, who I am in love with; I have been with for six years. But he looks nothing like my celebrity crushes or the ordinary people I find attractive. Does that mean I am not in love with him? No. It means I have eyes and I can appreciate beauty and have a few fantasies but I chose to be with him because I love him. He also has other people he finds attractive that look nothing like me, does that mean he does not love me? I mean come on.

 Oh the most hilarious thing is that the anti said you cannot compare Matt to MC since Matt is way attractive. I mean come on; they may not look alike but they both have dark hair, blue eyes. Seriously people! And MC is so handsome and adorable at the same time. Sometimes I feel like he looks better than JA and JP. Sue me.

 2.     On JA moving to Austin. Lol. This means that he went to live next to his best friend. I mean come on. I have moved to live next to my best friend (bff) who is married. Does that mean I am in love with her? Hell no! But I feel safer knowing that she is there for me.

Also people need to understand, MC and JA could be involved romantically or not (pick your poison) but you don’t need to be next to your lover to love them or be in a relationship with them. Lond distance relationships anyone? They have families and kids and other priorities. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not necessarily mean you live together or evn in the same area. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and also they are where they are now because of other priorities in their lives. So, living together or in the same town doesn’t make you more or less in love.

3.     On the issue of common interests. This made me laugh so hard. I mean comeon, People who are together do not need to share any interests. The diversity of their interests is probably what attracted them to each other. Also how can you say a poet and a singer have nothing in common? They are artists. MC can write poems that JA can sing. Oh also remember that video MC’s friend DM posted on Twitter where they did the whole bicycle touring in Germany? Uh huh? JA seemed to be interested in that a lot. So..

4.     I could say a lot about JA being with Jp. This J2 being married and their wives being beards is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously, J2 tinhats have gone ahead to hate of D’s posts and call her names. Telling her to stop pretending that she is JA. It is laughable and not in a nice way, really. Can they just stop? Before I became a cockles shipper I watched J2 videos where they interact be it cons, red carpet moments or even gag reels. It is just different. All I see are two bros; one that is really playful like a little puppy and the other one trying to be the big brother. As for JA and MC, it is different, there are things that JA is comfortable when Mc does that he is not comfortable when JP does them. Neck kisses for a start.

Also most of the J2 tinhats evidence about J2 being real is rarely backed up by visual evidence and if there is any, it is usually from years ago. I am not hating on antis, just stating facts.

5.     I mean, cursing on stage really? I curse all the time my bf doesn’t. Does that mean he doesn’t like me or love me? Hell to the Fucking No! Suck it!

6.     On Mc not taking acting seriously. Yeah I can guess why he doesn’t. It is not his only priority unlike JA who has chosen it as a career path. From what I have seen, MC’s priorities include making the world a better place through charities, politics, and oh, he is also a writer. Oh so forgive him if he is not obsessed with acting. Besides JA says that he likes how he acts as Cas because it is not like anything he has seen from other guest stars that have come on the show. I mean not being serious about something does not mean that you are not good at it. Would he have lasted 11 seasons if he was not good at what he does?

There was also hate that JA is only around MC for PR and he actually hates him. There were some photos and gifs so the apparent hate. So, if he cannot stand him, why is there so much evidence of JA going to MC to give some love, Neck kisses, intimate IG posts, face caresses, ass smacks, calling him his baby dadfy, heart eyes, even when they don’t know that they are being filmed?

Also why is it during the Vegascon 2020 all JA did was bring up MC unnecessarily even when no one, absolutely nobody asked him to. Come on! stop the bs and admit that Cockles is the realest ship in the history of ships!!

ON THE WIVES

I swear bitches be crazy. How can you just hat someone for literally nothing? This is mostly from J2 tinhats at other J2 stans who do not ship J2 together romantically. I mean…comeon. You do not need to be a stan for the wives just because they are married to J2 but please stop with the madness.

I recently saw someone comment on various JA posts on IG asking why he is lying to the fans that he is with D when he is with JP. So many rude things have been said about the wives especially D that it breaks my heart.

Seiously? People have gone ahead even to say that she is with JA’s friend SC and that the twins are not JA’s they are SC’s since D and SC are ‘always’ hanging out together. My question is, so D is not supposed to hang out with their friends? And for Chuck’s sake, everyone can see that the twins especially the boy (idk their names, sorry) looks like JA’s twin. I mean come on people.

I believe that they hate D because she says how much she loves MC and that Cas is her favorite character and that they are also bitter that JA chose her and not them. Just my opinion, but what do I know. On JP and G. I don’t know much about them mostly because I do not follow either of them of IG or elsewhere but I have seen hate on G as well.

The antis have gone ahead to say that when JA said that he was hanging out with SC writing songs, that he was lying and that nothing was happening he was just trying to dampen the rumours. I wonder how they felt when the album by JA and Sc came out last year. Jokes on you haters. Bitches be crazy fr.

Oh, the antis also say that the same way JA looks at his wife is the same way he looks at MC. With contempt. I mean talk about hanging yourself with your own rope. What they are saying is, JA feels about his wife the same way he feels abouts MC. Aww! That is true love bitches.

If JA actually cannot stand MC, shouldn’t he have gotten him fired from the show or at least make sure he gets less screen time and that they don’t have any panels together being that JA is the star of the show and all. I mean Mark left and he was a major character to the plot so...

Also why would JA give and buy MC clothes if he hates him? Give him a ring, a bracelet? Huh? Explain it to me.

Oh, some anti also said that before every Cockles panel at JIBCON JA cries and has to be forced on stage by Daniella and JP has to give him a hug and that’s why he drinks a lot of apple juice. LOL. WTF? What do you say to such people. I cannot even..My question is, are we talking about the same Cockles panels that I have seen? Then JA deserves all the Oscars and Tony Awards for his impeccable acting skills when he is around MC. Must really hate him. *wink*

MY TWO CENTS ON COCKLES

I know JA gives off mixed actions about MC. But I think it is to confuse people like us, shippers.  He does’t want to too out there so he tries so hard to be mean with his words. But his actions tell a different story. I mean, who gets a boner when their friend straddles them on stage and then goes ahead to post that chest to chest selfie on IG. That is the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Sharing clothes? I mean friends do share clothes but if it is like a daily thing. More than 20 articles of clothing exchanged between each other on various occasions even when they are apart does not make sense to me. And to make matters worse, JA does not deny it. One even had a tag on it. Lol. We are not children, we can see what is going on.

The 2014 DallasCon – Rob’s Birthday Party. WTF? Was all that between JA and MC? Why did he he swallow and react like that when he saw MC’s bare abdomen? Who does that? Also the looks when MC was leaving the stage. Come on.

Also what was up with the” I love you from the bottom of my heart” at the MTV top 10 in 2010.

The wife is my rock but I am glad to have some pebbles in my life.

Truth is, JA could post a video of him balls deep in MC and the antis could say that somehow MC manipulated JA to post it for PR.

People need to leave MC alone, he ie a human being who has made mistakes, JA and JP have too and I don’t see the antis hating on them. The double Standard s FOH.

I could write about this forever but the truth is JA loves MC, and D and V know that they love each other. All their friends know including JP and other castmates. I believe they know it is more than just friends and the antis can’t stand it because they also know it to be true.

JA LOVES MC. JP LOVES MC. J2M LOVE EACH OTHER. J2 LOVE THEIR WIVES. STOP THE HATE!!

I am not done but I am done for now. I could be here forever writing about this if I do not stop.

[mikenips]

Bob Dylan by Iggy and the Stooges

*zniffff*  “I always thought introductions were overrated.”  Pinch the bridge of my nose as I lift my head from the dirty mirror.  Jostle my nostrils between my chipped paint on cracked fingernails.  The ash falling from my half burnt Camel.  “It always seemed more real gettin’ to know somebody through observation.  Just bein’ there.  Ya know?”  The mass of half working guitar pedals blocking the gunked up view of myself in the mirror.  Recycled mass of vomit culture drippin’ in bell bottoms and Hawaiian shirts.  I never really asked Ig Byrd Brother and the Sweetheart of the Rodeo about themselves.  Just knew they moved up here from Florida.  But knew by the fuzz they reverberated in my bedroom during shows, they knew what I meant when I said this.

See.  I had worked myself into this delusion my senior year of high school, I had to write the next great American semi-autobiographical existential crisis.  I’ve written anthologies of half-baked drafts of this.  Whether they be spoken into a tape recorder in my living room.  Or scrawled on a pad of Tops rolling papers.  But never got more of an inkling of characters.  Characters facing this same dead end cliff hanger I’ve had waking nightmares of.  And maybe because I never took the time to get to know them.  Ask them about themselves.

But Keourac did that shit.  I figured it would only be a matter of time before one of us figured out how to write it down.  He saw what was happening before his very own glossy, bloodshot eyes.  He was able to scribble that feeling into the margins of a fuckin’ scroll.  And that was somebody’s kid.  As much they didn’t want it to be.  It could be anyone of us that immortalized this brief splice of life, exposose of space and time and the whole damn continuum.  Somebody just needed to be there to document it.

So that’s what I set out to do.  Document this shit.  Document the trees growing through the brick of mildew drenched basements we go into for the sake of tone.  Ballsy enough to walk up to an insect and smash it with our bare hands.  Document the struggles of rolling a piano down a pothole filled alley.  Document the rides home from a friend when we trip down the Lynchian rabbit holes of our psyches.  This is what we fuck up our sleep schedules for!  Cause all the pieces were there to jigsaw it back together.  The vague glimpses of beauty in each other's humanity.

Maybe I just never had the free time to sit at length with myself.  Just exist with myself.  And come to terms with the cliffhanger at the end of my own road.  Maybe it was just my own fear keeping me from doing it.  But maybe I just never got to know the character’s enough.  Never took the time to ask them about themselves.  And get to know them beyond the vague glimpse of beauty I saw in all their humanity.  How do you write a character’s ending when you haven’t even gotten to know them yet?  Or if they’ve even gotten to know themselves.  How do you write the ending when the story is still happening before your very own glossy, black hole pupils?

At the end of the day.  We’d all prefer not knowing the ending instead of being let down by the sudden cliffhanger at the dead end of the road.

How well can you really get to know someone when you only get the perspective from your window and not their eye view?

“I’m just merely observing.”  Baby Audobahn the Mad Organ Grinder says this setting down a glass of home brewed yerba.  Sparking a joint behind his synth dungeon.  The son of the professor that got me looking at the world through a different camera.  (And that joke only lands if you knew he was my film teacher. Because you don’t really know me yet.)  “I don’t know the answers.  I’m just observing.  Just like you are.”  The last of the scene not to be crippled by nicotine addiction.

Him and his roommate got me listenin’ to a lotta Neil Young records.  “Everybody knows this is nowhere...”  Neil’s voice warbles in my head as we smoke DMT on the beach.  Trespassing under a boardwalk with a smiley face painted on it.  During the pandemic of 2020.  The whole world currently on lockdown.  But we’ve been frozen at the border of nowhere and infinity for a while now.

We’re rippin’ molded wood from the roots of concrete trees to build our own isolation booth.  Lightnin’ bugs in the house, our only light to the outside world.  A room to be alone with the sounds and screams we make into the void.  Hoping someone replies.  Or there’s at least a slight echo.  That we aren’t the only ones observing we’re trapped.  No matter how many brilliant ideas we attempt to make this absurdity mean something.  Anything!  We don’t need an answer.  Just the observation there’s another isolation booth screaming in the void too.

“I don’t wanna know the answer to that…” the Guilty Undertaker ashes into the piano from 1943 while taping the entire experience on a Fostex.  A contraption I still wish was more than just a robot to me.  Anything made before 1990 was meant to double as an ashtray.  “Ignorance is bliss, yeah I like where I’m at.”  They sing this song behind a new pair of sunglasses after shattering the old lens with a drunken foot.  Shoelaces tied back together.  And hearing this vocal track is comforting.  It’s reassuring.

It doesn’t matter if anyone else ever hears that reel.  It doesn’t matter if it was documented or not.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a scroll of amphetamine folklore we taught ourselves.  A 4chan urban legend.  Or anything else.  It doesn’t matter if the cliffhanger is the end of the story.  Or if “On the Way There” is it’s own destination.  It doesn’t matter if we can even get the answers.  At least we know we’re not alone.  And there’s a couch to crash on nearby in case a closed bedroom starts to feel like an isolation chamber.  Freezing us in a moment of just merely existing.

We might all just be characters in our own semi-autobiographical existential crisis.  Inconsistent.  Incomplete.  Our own gunked up reflection in somebody else's dirty mirror.  But through the coke and fuzz pedals.  Seeing fractal trace visuals of our own beautifully fragmented glimpse of humanity.  The validation isn’t that somebody else reads our novel.  Hears our screams.  Or sees our mirror.  Just that they too, like us, are trapped in their own lens of unassuredness.  After all, it’s not our fault some fish decided to step outta water and now we’re all just vague inklings of characters to some nervous breakdown.  Struggling to pay rent and make sense of it all.  At the same damn time!  We’re all just waiting for Ashton Kutcher to wholesomely flashback us to the 2000s and yell “punk’d!” on the cruel prank of existence.

“I don’t know.”  *znifff*  “I think that’s all I’m tryin’ to say.  Or at least all I’ve ever wanted to try to say.”  Pinch the bridge of the nose.  Jostle the nostrils in the cracked paint on cracked fingernails.  “Maybe I’m just trippin’ too hard.”

[herotheshiro]

just found out abt the futekiya free manga may deal so ofc i leapt on that shit but mostly bc i saw an IG post in passing for MOTION EMOTION that mentioned the deal and y’all know (well idk if i ever said it on here but just believe me on this) that i’ve wanted to read this manga ever since i found out the side characters from sneaky red got their own story !! (on that note i should also finish sneaky red since i have this futekiya sub. while i believe i have read the full raws, the illegal translations never finished so lol)

anyway... it was... not what i expected? i like thanat’s art, they have a style i like but ... the dubious consent tag on futekiya is there for a good reason lol ... thanat’s note at the very end is that takeru ended up not being like how he was kind of portrayed in sneaky red (a kind of weak-willed seme who’s pushed around by ayumu) which like ok np that they changed it but ... idk i don’t like stories where someone is kind of manipulated into the relationship and that’s basically what happened to ayumu. i mean the beginning was ok, ayumu just became more aware of takeru and then takeru kind of forced him to get the relationship ball rolling which like ... not what i prefer but it’s aight ... but then that line in the last or so chapter where takeru is like ‘i’ll make you believe that you want this [relationship with me]’ or something along those lines ... just made me so sad.

the concept of the story is fine (i became more aware of my kouhai and their feelings for me, whoop we’re in a relationship now before i realized it, and oh jeez he’s growing up so fast and now i feel like i look bad as his senior aaaa) and i don’t have a pressing issue w senior-junior dynamics where the junior has more “power” in the relationship (i’m not talking in a seme-uke kind of way, just mainstream social dynamics. like the junior being the breadwinner of the 2 that’s what i mean) ... but that line just made me shudder in a way bc it’s a clear line of emotional manipulation, he’ll make sure they stay together even if ayumu has doubts. i mean ... to defend thanat i guess, it could be worse since it’s implied that ayumu feels ok enough to “mooch” off of takeru but ... i get kind of uneasy at that underlying dynamic of manipulation. i was ok w that other manga ‘if we were stranded on a deserted island’ or whatever bc they both were kind of fucked up towards each other but this one is a lil wack bc ayumu isn’t like that towards takeru

i mean this person’s other work is fucking sneaky red which is abt a dude who enjoys being physically abused by his lover which is a whole other thing to discuss so i shouldn’t be surprised the dynamic turned out like this but. idk i was just hoping it would be more fluffy. i mean you sensed the gap bw takeru’s typical presentation and his crosshairs on ayumu in the 1st-2nd chapters so it wasn’t like out of nowhere but idk. i feel like they didn’t really develop much after they got together. like the 1-2 ch after they got together idr (”we’ve been dating for a year now”) weren’t really that necessary imo, even if it was to hash out the thing abt ayumu feeling inadequate as takeru’s senior.

anyway this incoherent stream of consciousness aside ... i guess tl;dr is that motion emotion wasn’t what i expected and i didn’t like it as much as i wanted to. like legit when i saw that i could read motion emotion for free i was so hype but i read it and i was like ‘oh...’. it wasn’t like MAD problematic if to any degree, i’ve def read more sketchy BLs re: consent but ... idk! i think i was just disappointed bc it didn’t match my expectations i’ve had for like i think over a year, idr when was the last time i touched sneaky red.

EDIT: ok i went and reread that line i disliked. i think the sentiment is supposed to be that takeru wants ayumu to have more faith in their relationship (not in a malicious way) but like ... that line is written or localized so weird. maybe my issue is that their relationship progressed too fast for me to feel like ayumu consented adequately to it. i mean i get it, ayumu is supposed to get swept up easily by takeru’s actions but ... i mean as i said before, i think the reason i feel so uneasy is bc the final thing is not what i expected back when all i had was the cover and the raws of the 1st chapter. i genuinely don’t have an issue w gap moe in relationship dynamics re: how the couple presents in public vs them in private (why does it sound like i’m trying to convince myself of this) but ... idk i didn’t really like it here i guess. i think i’m still reeling a little bc i just finished reading it like not more than 15 min ago

[supernatural-jackles]

Help Hotline

Title: Help Hotline

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,496

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: How do you deal with life as a hunter. Dean drinks. Sam goes for runs. You? Well let’s just say that you have a friend you talk to every time. 

A/N: This is my submission for Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge. Thank you @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog for giving me this awesome prompt. My prompt was: “if i’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?” from Clueless. I hope y’all enjoy this one! Feedback would be very appreciated!

x

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“Alright, beers are on Sammy tonight,” Dean cheered as he pulled into the empty parking space in front of the expensive looking bar. You smirked to yourself in the backseat, knowing Dean picked this bar for a reason and that reason being Sam.

 “How long are you going to play this one out, Dean?” Sam questioned. You could hear the pang of annoyance in his voice.

 “Until you make up for breaking my friggin’ stereo by jamming your crappy ass Bieber cassette in it,” Dean stated as he kicked the door open. You followed behind the two taller men, Dean glancing back at you just once, making sure you were there with them. You’d never stray too far from them, not at a bar like this.

 Dean held the door open for both you and Sam, the loud music escaping out the bar doors along with the screams of the drunk crowd inside. Dean shot you a wink before slinging his arm around your shoulder, heading into the bar right next to you.

 Between the people dancing and the stools at the counter, it was a busy bar, almost too busy for your liking. You were going to deal. It was a tough hunt and the three of you needed to let loose. A couple of beers was going to do the trick, before you could head back to the motel and calm down the way you usually did. The boys would unwind, maybe find a woman to take home for the night, then you’d be back on the road. Another day, another case and hopefully another couple of lives saved.

 “What’s your poison tonight, sweetheart?” Dean leaned down to ask you. The bar was too loud to hear him, or anyone you wanted to have a conversation with for that matter.

 “I’m just going to stick with beer tonight,” you shrugged with a smile. Dean nodded his head, leaving your side to head over to the counter to grab you a drink along with his own. You glanced around the bar, looking for a place to sit that would be a little more secluded, hoping that you could carry on a conversation without saying ‘what? I can’t hear you,’ every five seconds.

 It had taken Sam five minutes to find a beautiful blonde to flirt with. It had been a while since Sam last got lucky according to what he told you. It had been longer for you the more you thought about it, which wasn’t often. You had your eyes on one man and one man only. There was no point in any one night stand when all you were going to do is wish it was him.

 “One beer for the beautiful lady,” Dean grinned, handing you a bottle of your favourite beer, the same in his hand. “Sammy looks like he’s got his night planned out.”

 “Yes he does. Maybe now he won’t be so uptight about everything,” you let out a laugh. Dean chuckled, agreeing with you before taking one long swing of his beer, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

 “You planning on seeking out any male attention tonight?” he asked plainly. You simply shook your head.

 “Not really feeling it tonight. I’m going to drink this beer, then head back to the motel room and take a nice long shower,” you licked your lips. “‘Sides, I ain’t wasting my time on the rich, married men in here. Why be disappointed when I could just do it myself.”

 “Mhh, I’d pay to see that,” he winked.

 “Why don’t you go out and get some? The motel is like a ten minute walk and I’m a big girl,” you told him. In reality, you didn’t want him to go home with anyone, anyone that wasn’t you anyways.

 You had the biggest crush on the older Winchester. The mere mention of his name sent your heart reeling in your chest. Sure, he was attractive, and the way his tongue peeked past his lips when he wet them made you weak in the knees. But Dean Winchester was more than a pretty face. You were in love with the little things about him and you knew more than the average person. Dean was the kind of guy that had a cup of coffee waiting for you when you woke up in the morning. He was the guy who left his shirt on your bed for you to wear when you forgot to do laundry before a hunt. Dean deserved to be loved wholly by someone and you wanted that someone to be you.

 You and Dean were best friends though and as much as you wanted to kiss those downright sinful lips for hours, you didn’t want to be selfish and ruin the four year friendship the two of you had formed. You valued that too much to ruin it.

 “I know you’re a big girl. You could kick my ass any time,” he chuckled. “Maybe I will scope around, see if there’s anyone worth a piece of this.”

 “You’re such a dork, you know that?” you giggled. “Have fun. I’ll be in my motel room.”

 “Call me if you need anything,” he added in. You rolled your eyes of course. There is no way you were going to call him and ruin his night.

 “Yeah yeah! Wrap it before you tap it, Winchester. See you in the morning.”

   You walked along the side of the road, the fall breeze whipping through you. You pulled your jacket tighter to your body as your speed picked up. You were mentally kicking yourself for not stealing the keys to the impala, or asking Dean for a ride. But you were determined not to ruin his night. He did so much for you already. You didn’t want to add yet another thing to the list.

 The second you were in the safety of your motel room, you locked the doors and relaxed. The warmth of the indoors was a delight. Feeling alone was even better. You were free to relax after the hunt in your own way and you had your own special way that no one knew about.

 After you joined the Winchester’s, the three of you had a really bad case where an entire bus of kindergarten children crashed, not one of them surviving because of the damn spirit that the bus was keeping here. It was one you weren’t going to get over.

 So you called a help hotline in hopes that maybe talking about what happening in a vague sort of way would help you deal with it in a healthier manner. Instead of drinking until your liver no longer functioned, instead of trying to deal the way the boys did, you did this and it seemed to help you. You talked to the same person every single time. Matt was his name and he was the one there for you every time you needed to talk to someone. Of course, you didn’t tell him about what goes bump in the night. To him you were an FBI agent who dealt with special cases.

 Matt was the exact person you wanted to talk to.

 You stripped off your jacket, throwing it over the back of the chair before hopping on the motel bed with your phone in hand. You dialed the hotline number and asked directly for Matt. A few seconds being on hold, you heard his familiar voice on the other end of the line. A voice you welcomed.

 “Hi Matt, it’s Y/N,” you greeted him.

 “Hey Y/N. I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks, how’s everything going?” he asked. You could almost hear the smile growing on his face as he spoke.

 “Busy. Been working a lot of cases these past few weeks. Nothing too exciting really. A couple of weird murders but not enough to completely scar me for life before you ask. I feel like I’ve been doing better,” you told him. You were proud to say that to him.

 “That’s great to hear, Y/N. You’re a fighter, that’s for sure. You’ve been using those breathing techniques I taught you last time right?” He brought up.

 “Yeah, the other day actually. My partner helped me out with it. It was surprising actually. He’s not exactly the cuddly bear type, but it was nice to have something to calm me down to. His heartbeat certainly helped. Thanks for that Matt,” you beamed as you flipped over, resting on your back to stare up at the ceiling.

 “Awesome,” he chuckled. For a moment, Matt sounded oddly like Dean. Of course, there was no way Matt would ever be Dean. He couldn’t be. It didn’t make any sense. “So since everything has been going well with you it seems, what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

 “I actually need your advice on something. You’re the only one I can trust to talk to,” you started.

 “What about your partner you mentioned earlier?”

 “It’s about him. I can’t exactly talk to him about it without making a complete fool of myself,” you scoffed. “See my partner and I are best friends and we have been for years, Matt. And over time, I guess I’ve sort of, kind of, fallen in love with him. Now, that there could ruin my friendship with him for one. But I’m so certain that he doesn’t feel the same about me.”

 “How can you know for sure?”

 “He’s at a bar right now, hitting on the first girl to give him any kind of attention. Now granted, I told him he should have a fun night, but in my head I’m begging him to see me, to take me home with him. But I just feel like I’m not good enough for him. Like I’m not thin enough, not pretty enough. I’m not his type,” you huffed.

 “Oh sweetheart, you are too good for him by the sounds of it,” he told you, kindly.

 “If I’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?”

 “Have you ever actually tried to make a move on him? I mean, I’m a guy so what do I know really? But maybe he’s just slow, or just as scared as you are. Maybe he hasn’t clued in to what’s in front of him? You’re a confident girl from what I can tell by our conversations. Tell him how you feel and you might be surprised.”

 “Thanks, Matt,” you smiled softly. You rolled off the bed with the phone still pressed to your ear. Skipping out on your jacket, you made your way out of your motel room with both your room key, and the Winchester’s in hand as you headed straight for theirs. “I’m going to do it. No more waiting and pining. He’s going to know exactly how I feel.”

 “Atta girl! Just remember, if he rejects you then it’s his loss. You deserve a good man,” he stated as if it was a fact. You slipped the card key in the lock, successfully opening the motel room door. You stepped in to find Dean sitting on the edge of the bed with his phone pressed to his ear.

 “Thanks. Listen I gotta go. I’m sure we’ll talk soon, I owe you one, Matt,” you said. You waited for him to answer you but he never did. Dean stopped speaking on the phone. “Dean?”

 “Y/N, I can explain-”

 “You’re Matt?” You whispered. “You’ve been Matt this whole time?”

 “Y/N, I swear, I had no idea it was you at first and by the time I figured it out, it was too late. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry into your head or anything and I swear-”

 You waltzed over to him and straddled his lap with confidence. Dean was taken back for sure, his pupils dilated and his hands rested behind him so he wasn’t touching you and making you uncomfortable.

 “Stop talking for just a second!”

 “Shutting up.”

 “Why didn’t you just tell me, Dean? Surprisingly right now, I’m not mad. I don’t know how I’m not mad but I’m not. I just wish you would have told me,” you frowned.

 “I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I mean, we’ve talked about a lot of your personal thoughts and I thought the second you knew that I knew about them that you’d bolt and you’d leave us and I didn’t want that. Sam doesn’t know about this, I promise. And I’ve never used anything you’ve told me against you or to my advantage. Sure, maybe I’ve been a little nicer to you and I have a soft spot for you, I’ll admit that but I promise you, what we talk about stays between us.”

 “Good,” you beamed, “Look, I’m just going to come right out and say that I came here, not to find out that you’re Matt, but to tell you that you’re the guy I was talking about. I like you, Dean. And it’s cool if you don’t feel the same. I don’t want to ruin our friendship because our friendship is the best thing I have right now, and I don’t want that to end on account of how I feel, and I know that you don’t exactly do the whole one girl type thing which I’m now just thinking about and this is such a stupid idea.”

 You ducked your head down, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. You really didn’t think this one through. You were proud of yourself for finally making a move but it didn’t mean you weren’t scared.

 Dean’s fingers dipped under your chin, urging you to meet his gaze. His breathtaking green eyes were soft, crinkling at the sides. He had a playful smile playing across his lips before he leaned in closer. His breath mingling with yours. Was this really happening? Was Dean really this close to your face voluntarily? The second he inched closer, brushing his lips gingerly against yours; your heart fluttered in your chest. His soft, plump, pink lips were pressed against yours and not in the ‘I want to fuck you into the mattress in about five minutes’ kind of way. His lips parted, deepening the kiss a little more and you were reciprocating. It only lasted a moment or two but it was enough to take your breath away.

 “I was worried it was Sam,” he muttered. “I never thought a girl like you would go for a guy like me. Now Sam, he’s smart and he’s got a lot more going for him.”

 “So do you, Dean,” you beamed. “Sam’s great and all, and I love Sam as a brother. You? You’re so much different.”

 “Oh really?” he winked. “I’m glad it’s me. Even if you are too good for me, at least now I know you’ll be treated the way you deserve to be treated.”

Please tell me what you think here

Dean Girls:

@karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @gunsandimpalas @winchestdiaries @docharleythegeekqueen @highonpastries @torn-and-frayed @that1seniorchick @autopistaaningunaparte @emoryhemsworth @sis-tafics @your-used-to-be-pillow @jayankles @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ams-2004 @silver-and-green @its-not-a-tulpa  @michirutenshi @winchester-writes @ourutopianparadise @naadestiel @mariahoedt @band-and-sadness @bringmesomepie56 @emilywritesaboutdean @fuckedyourbf @extreme-supernatural-lover @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @ruprecht0420 @ohmystars30 @percywinchester27 @captainemwinchester @lbyers28 @sandlee44 @blu-eyed-devil @tinemarie19 @skybinx-blog @babydanixox @summer-binging-spn @spn-fan-girl-173 @mein1928 @crawegirl @jensenackesl @4401lnc @iwantthedean @salvachester @sleep-silent-angel @secretlyfurrydragon @superwholock1983 @tas898 @erule  @milkymilky-cocopuff @essie1876 @abbessolute @riversong-sam @avengingthesupernatural @kathaswings @mayasmedberg @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @evansrogerskitten @brooke-supernatural16 @my-thoughts-on-display3 @wellcrazythis @dustycelt @lipstickandwhiskey @adaliamalfoy @awesomestperson22 @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @xfanqirlinq @im-a-light-child @darknessbetweenthestarssn @laurenisnot

@wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @idontknow-canyou @feelmyroarrrr @capsofwinchesters @nakedshowerdean @missdestiel67 @thereisnolumos @plaidstiel-wormstache @danradislife @akshi8278 @keenondean @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @thisishowieroll  @devilgirlsarah @juliaspnlover @gallifreyansass @quiddy-writes @anokhi07 @cobrakai1967 @unknownartwork @twilightsagafan12 @keepcalmandbeajunkie @dslocum89 @i-just-wanna-live-gc  @maddieburcham1 @moonlessnight14 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @padamoosemakegirlmoosegowhaaa @heavymetalhauswife @imagefanfictionlover @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @siriustopsremus @iamnotsaneatall @mizzzpink @jensen-jarpad @daughterleftbehind @shamelesslydean @sam-deans-baby @winchasterdean @wwecrazed2010 @letsgetyourdeanon @redeyed-winchester @meeshw777 @bethanyzed @pizza-boy-cas @michellethetvaddict @mamaredd123 @llerret15 @siriustopsremus @love-me-some-pie21 @mysterious398 @celmiea @j2-winchester-boys @boxywrites @savvythedork @endlesslytimeless @wishedworld @mariairwin666 @chicagolove88

[thewrosper]

Yogi Adityanath interview: ‘No dearth of possibilities in UP, we can give immediate employment to 15 lakh people’

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath speaks to Liz Mathew about the steps taken by the state government to contain the spread of coronavirus, protecting health workers and helping stranded migrant labourers. Excerpts: Uttar Pradesh, despite being the most populous state, has so far been able to contain the spread of the virus to an extent. How did you manage it? Yogi Adityanath: I am grateful to Prime Minister Narendra Modi, who had already warned the country against this danger. Also, a comprehensive action plan was implemented from time to time in India. Today, not only is the 130-crore population of India feeling proud, but the entire world is appreciating the excellent leadership of Modi ji. UP has followed the guidance of the PM in letter and spirit. Being the most populous state, the danger was also highest here. But a time-bound action plan and its effective implementation led to considerable success in controlling the spread of corona infection. My cabinet colleagues worked with me to formulate an action plan. Whether it is the case of construction workers or the matter of paying maintenance allowance to street vendors, porters, etc., or providing food grains to weaker sections, the Team 11 of senior officials effectively implemented the action plan. Each of these teams has responsibility and accountability. As a result, today there are 10,000 isolation beds, 20,000 quarantine beds, 1,000 ventilators and 17 testing labs in the state. More than 60,000 samples have been tested. When the corona threat was sounded in the state, we had only one lab where 50 tests could be conducted. Today, 4,000 tests are being conducted daily in 17 labs. Not only Team 11, I too communicate continuously with officials working in the field including DMs, SSPs, CMOs, divisional commissioners and IG-rank officers at the Commissionerate level and ADG-level officers posted in the zone. I also hold review meetings with Team 11 every day. Is the state able to conduct adequate number of tests? Are you planning to increase the number of tests? Yogi Adityanath: We have 24 state medical colleges. We established testing labs in 10 of them. The other seven labs are established in other institutions. Now, new laboratories are being set up in four government medical colleges and six divisional headquarters including Aligarh, Moradabad, Gonda, Varanasi, Mirzapur and Bareilly. In addition, COVID sample collection centres have been set up in each district. Our government has created a COVID Care Fund, and a lot of support has been received from different sections of society. Funds thus collected will be used to increase the testing facility. Besides, UP is the first state to conduct pool testing. Our commitment is to ensure good health facilities for the people. We will make every possible effort in this direction. Has the government taken adequate steps to protect the health workers? Yogi Adityanath: Firstly, I thank all health workers, doctors and nurses who are continuously working to serve humanity with full devotion. The topmost priority of our government is to protect these health workers of the state. We have given full protection to the Corona Warriors. In case anyone violates the rules, strict action has been taken under the purview of the law. While PM Modi announced Garib Kalyan package for the weaker sections of society, he also announced insurance cover of Rs 50 lakh for Corona Warriors. We have adequate quantity of PPE kits, N95 masks and sanitisers to protect them from infection. Proper arrangements of these have been made in every COVID hospital of the state so that they do not face any shortage while treating patients. Secondly, I keep appealing to people that we should respect and encourage doctors, nurses, police personnel and health and sanitation workers who are fighting on the frontlines against corona. Incidents of stone-pelting against health workers were reported at some places. Soon after, clear instructions were given to take stringent action against such persons including imposition of NSA. In order to protect health workers, police team will accompany the Health Department team for sample testing or screening in hotspot areas. Safety of health workers is most important for us.

 UP CM conducts an aerial survey in Ghaziabad and Noida. What has been the biggest advantage of the state once you prepare the strategies to fight COVID 19? Yogi Adityanath: The first advantage is to have a PM like Modi ji, who keeps guiding us like a guardian to solve every problem. Secondly, a better team and coordination is required to formulate any strategy. In coordination with the Cabinet, I made a strategy to fight COVID, and to implement it, 11 teams of senior officers were formed and their responsibility fixed. Every day I hold a review meeting and give directions. We made health services a priority since the formation of the government in Uttar Pradesh. Today, the positive results of the steps taken by the government in the last three years for betterment of health services are in front of everyone. The increase in the number of medical colleges and deployment of health workers are some of those steps. Today, we are imparting training to students of these medical colleges to fight against COVID-19. The state has seen the return of migrant labourers from different parts of the country in recent weeks. What are the measures you have taken to see that virus spread will not go out of control in the coming days? Yogi Adityanath: The state government has taken the responsibility of migrant labourers who are currently in UP or are stranded in other states. We deployed nodal officers in every state so that labourers living in those states do not face any problem. We have also sent letters to many CMs regarding this. I also communicate with CMs so that no labourer living in their respective states has to face any problem. Regarding workers who have come here from other states, we have kept them in quarantine and made arrangements for food and water. Once they complete their quarantine period, we provide them Rs 1,000 and rations. We are also making efforts to provide employment to them here. We have made complete preparations to control the spread of corona. Medical check-ups and quarantine are being taken up as precautionary measures. Is the government taking special steps to see that there is no community spread of the virus? Yogi Adityanath: Lockdown rules, social distancing and sealing of hotspot areas are the steps taken to prevent the spread of corona. The government will take further steps if needed. In any case, we will not allow community spread in UP. An order has been issued for not keeping people together in quarantine centres and shelter homes. I have given clear instructions that no public gathering should be allowed till June 30. No one is allowed to enter a hotspot except police, medical team and those associated with doorstep delivery. The result of such strictness is evident. In UP, 19 districts are free from corona. The migrant workers returning to the state may lead to a rise in unemployment. Does the state have programmes for them? Yogi Adityanath: UP was reeling under unemployment before 2017. But when we made efforts after forming the government, there was a lot of employment generation. The workers, who you are saying will lead to increase in unemployment, will also get employment here. There is no dearth of possibilities. There are challenges but we also have many opportunities. During lockdown itself, the government has provided direct and indirect employment to more than 1.5 lakh people through doorstep delivery. We are in a position to provide immediate employment to 15 lakh people. There is also a lot of opportunity in government construction work, MNREGA, MSME enterprises and work done through voluntary organisations. Instructions have been given to prepare an action plan for the post-lockdown period. I want to assure everyone through you that in future, no labourer in UP will have employment problems.

 Uttar Pradesh government has sealed clusters in 15 districts which have emerged as coronavirus hotspots in the state. Concern was raised about the fear created among Muslim minorities about communal profiling of corona patients. This seems to have made tracing patients tougher as those with symptoms refused to come out. Your comment? Yogi Adityanath: Team-11 is monitoring every activity in the state. We hold a review meeting every morning, the effect of which has been seen in the state capital along with remote villages. At a time when the government was almost successful in controlling the spread of corona, the Tablighi Jamaat brought new concerns because most of the cases were related to Tablighis. But our government resolved this matter very well. We have a better system available, from hospitalisation to quarantine facilities, so that there is no atmosphere of fear. The work of identifying patients is being done at every level, in which all the departments are working jointly. Some people of the Tablighi Jamaat first tried to remain in hiding, but after the appeal of the government and strictness of the police, they came forward themselves. The CAA protests and Tablighi-related COVID-19 cases appear to have created a communally charged situation in the state. Do you think the widening schism between communities have become a threat to the state’s development? Yogi Adityanath: Coronavirus is a global disease. It is totally unfair to associate the CAA issue with it. Both the issues are different in nature. Disease does not differentiate on the basis of caste or religion. Yes, it is a different matter that due to the Tablighi Jamaat, the disease has spread rapidly among many people. Had these people been aware, the number of corona infections in UP would have been very less. The WHO advisory is to maintain social distance so that the chain can be broken. The same appeal is being made by the central and state government to all citizens. The disease will spread fast if you do not follow this guideline. The law is doing its job to protect people. There is no communal discrimination in UP. Fake news and rumours during the lockdown have led to fatal incidents like lynching in some parts of the country. Has your government taken special measures to contain it? Yogi Adityanath: A team of 30 police officers is working round the clock to check the spread of fake news. This team tracks the geographic origin of accounts of those posting fake news and creates a database. Police have investigated hundreds of cases so far. The social media team identifies the case and gives it to the district cyber cell. This includes cases of hate speech or fake news. An FIR is being registered in such cases. Accounts on Twitter and Facebook, WhatsApp and Tiktok which are spreading fake news are being blocked. The state police’s move to travel to Delhi to summon a senior journalist on an FIR against him for a tweet he made had drawn criticism against your government. Your comment? Yogi Adityanath: The law is taking its course against anyone who is spreading false news, fake news or rumour among the public, no matter who they are. In the time of crisis, the responsibility of journalists increases, and they should give correct information to the public. Criticism on fake facts intended to mislead people is not good. No one has the right to create confusion in society by writing any wrong statement. Support The Wrosper to get the latest updates! Stay tuned Read the full article

[wordsandshawn]

Telling Them Off

Requested: Hi!!! Maybe an imagine where like y/n is getting a lot of hate from Shawns fans and like one time a fan starts insulting her in front of Shawn and he becomes all protective. P.S. Love your blog! It's really one of the best ones!!! 💖💖💖

Masterlist 

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', myHandler); function myHandler() { var v = document.body.innerHTML; var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; v = v.replace(/\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, input); document.body.innerHTML = v; } // ]]>

~~~

You’ve just arrived at the Toronto airport with Shawn to fly to Japan. You happened to have a break from school at the same time he was scheduled to go to Japan, so he asked you to go with him. Since you barely get to see him while you have school because you’re so busy, you didn’t want to miss out on the chance to spend time with him when you were finally on break. In the year that you’ve been dating Shawn, you sometimes find yourself overwhelmed whenever you’re flying with him. You already don’t like airplanes because they freak you out, but it doesn’t help that there are almost always tons of fans waiting at the airport trying to get pictures with Shawn.

Dating Shawn has certainly come with its fair share of hate online, and you knew before you two got together that it would happen. You love his fans because they support him, and that means the world to both of you, but some of them are not so nice to you sometimes. This is another reason why seeing a hoard of them at the airport, or anywhere really, tends to freak you out. They seem to think you don’t notice when they whisper about you or shoot you glares.

Shawn makes his way down the line of girls to take selfies with each and every one, and you stand patiently on the side, just like you always do. Once Shawn returns to you, he intertwines your fingers, knowing that you’re inwardly freaking out a little with the combination of the big crowd of girls and knowing you’ll have to get on a flight soon. You’re almost to the security line when two different groups of girls rush up to you both. They hadn’t been there when Shawn was first taking pictures with everyone, so they came up begging for a picture, which of course Shawn didn’t mind giving them. While the first group of girls were getting their pictures, the second group was standing a little to the side waiting for their turn. You were standing off to the side, a little away from the group of girls with the rest of Shawn’s team.

“You’re right,” One of the girls that is waiting says to her friend, “She’s not even pretty.” And you hear her loud and clear. You have no way to tell for sure if they’re talking about you, but you’re pretty certain that they are. You swallow hard, immediately feeling both uncomfortable and self-conscious. Shawn is still busy taking selfies with the other girls, and you’re glad that he doesn’t seem to have heard what she said. You turn your back to the girls, just reminding yourself to breath and trying not to think about it or let it bother you.

“He could do so much better than her.” Another girl in that group replies, “He probably just feels sorry for her or something.”

You have to keep your emotions in check. You’re already feeling anxious about the plane ride, and hearing these girls’ rude comments is not helping you to stay calm at all. “Are you okay?” Geoff asks when he glances at you, pausing his conversation with Andrew. You’re certain they were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn’t even hear what the girls had said.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You respond.

“You sure?” He questions, probably noticing you don’t look happy or okay.

“Yeah,” You say, forcing a smile on your face and nodding your head.

Shawn has finished up with the first group of girls, and you expect him to stop at the second group, but he walks past them, and straight to you. He grabs your hand and leans down, whispering in your ear, “Are you okay?”

You nod, and offer the same answer that you told Geoff.

“Excuse me, Shawn, can we get selfies with you too?” One of the girls interrupts you. You’re not sure why Shawn came over to you instead of going to them in the first place, and you’re even more surprised when his grip on your hand only tightens. “I heard what you said about my beautiful girlfriend.” He says, his voice cold until he gets to the word beautiful. And your heart nearly stops, what is he doing? “And I don’t really understand why you would say something like that. She doesn’t deserve it. I can’t believe the audacity you have to say something so rude and just plain mean to someone you don’t even know. I don’t feel comfortable taking a picture with people who don’t really support me because they’re willing to be so rude to someone I love.” He says, as he tugs you away from them, leaving them stunned.

You enter the TSA security line, your mind still reeling from what just happened. Andrew and Geoff are kind of confused, you can tell by their faces, but one look at Shawn and neither of them dare ask what happened. He’s practically fuming. His hand hasn’t left yours, his grip only tightening by the second. You have to use your other hand to tap his hand to get him to notice that he’s squeezing it hard. He immediately loosens his grip, and pulls you close to himself. He rests his free hand on your hip, “Are you okay?” He asks, still worried about you when you’re more concerned about him at this point.

“Yeah, Shawn you didn’t have to do that.”

“I did. I can’t believe how rude they were. It was uncalled for, and not okay. You didn’t deserve that, y/n. You’re fucking beautiful, you know that right. And I’m the one that’s lucky to have you, not the other way around.” You’re certainly not one for PDA, but when Shawn pulls you even closer, wrapping both of his arms around you, you sense that he needs this. You let him hold you until the line moves and you’re forced to let go of each other.

“It’s okay Shawn.” You tell him.

He runs his fingers through his hair, worriedly searching your eyes. He’s not sure whether to believe you or not, but he should because you’re telling the truth. Yeah, what those girls said hurt, a lot. And it was really mean and it made you feel insecure. But at the same time, you know that what they say doesn’t matter because you have someone like Shawn. And you know that he loves you and thinks you’re beautiful and he wants to be with you. He just proved that to you, even if he didn’t know that was what he was doing. You have him, so you don’t need anything else. Those girls, and a lot of other girls around the world can talk about you and hate on you, but Shawn always makes you feel okay and makes any mean words said about you not matter at all.

[dontyougiveuponme]

6/7/2021 - Update and post of Vampires

Hello tumblr, it has been a while. I have this website pinned but I never bother to write anything. It’s been a little over two years since I last wrote. Yet again, I feel stagnant, or even getting worse. I feel like I’ve changed. I like to think that I’m not the kind of person that changes. I always tell everyone that asks me how I’ve been that everything is the “same old shit”. I feel far away from the person I once was. I can understand that we all mature in different ways, but I don’t want to be a person that I, myself do not like. I’ve turned cynical, critical, judgmental, just an overall non-believer of anything good or positive. Much of the day I can’t say I have any positive thoughts apart from laughing at dumb memes, but I can’t say that counts for anything substantial. I haven’t accomplished much at all within these past two years, and it’s weighing heavy on my mind. I really do want to fix myself and my bad habits. I’ll be 29 this year, so by the time I hit the big three zero, I want to have my life and visions together. In order to take steps in this light, is the reason I decided to write again. I am constantly feeling tired both mentally and physically pretty much everyday of my life now, and I can say that it’s probably the worst it’s been. I don’t remember the last time I got some decent rest. My mind is polluted with so much bullshit I can only manage the upkeep of basic day to day living. My productivity and creativity are in the dump. This shit sucks, hopefully I can organize my thoughts and convince myself to change! Here we go..

Vampires, things that drain my energy:

Phone/social media - Social media is a piece of shit. It amazes me how I keep opening up IG on my phone to just scroll valuable moments of my life away. There’s many times I see things I really don’t like seeing and it actually makes me mad. I hate seeing political shit. Everything has an agenda now. Everyone is a hero now. Everything is money now. Rarely do I see things that I like on there (Isn’t that the whole reason to have the damn thing anyway?). There’s not much genuine things on social media anymore, it’s all just recycled trash. They literally show that shit in your feed even though you’re not subscribed/following them. Everything is an ad now. So much sales pitching, even for oneself as a brand. There’s nothing genuine about it in my eyes, and I really would like to live with less of it. It’s impossible to avoid completely in regular daily life now. I don’t need to be consuming half as much of  all this bullshit on social media. Actually there’s also another side of social media that’s related to my next vampire.

Porn - Some social media posts are kinda like porn. You know the things (TikToks/Reels) you just keep watching over and over.. and over again? It might not necessarily make your peepee feel funny but there’s definitely some kind of strange chemical reactions going on in your brain when you watch that shit. It’s a vampire, like porn is. Porn, I feel like is actually huge in terms of draining energy. I mean of course in moderation, masturbation actually can’t be terrible for you, but what I want to talk about is the frequent kind (lol). I think doing it everyday is too much, especially as you get older. I can’t say I’ve ever came and felt a rush of energy, I usually just pass the fuck out (maybe I should look in to some Kama Sutra shit or something). I’m not an expert on health, but it can’t be good to put your body under the stress of manufacturing all that semen over and over, day after day, after day. I think naturally if there was too much semen, you’d just have a wet dream or something. I mean, it’s been a while since that’s happened to me though. Anyways, I think the body could use some rest from too many orgasms! Yeah I said it. It’s also really draining mentally as well. I feel worse mentally after watching porn than physically (DUH). Well to put it bluntly, porn is fucked up. I can’t quite put my finger on it (uhhhh nasty), but it’s just not right to enjoy watching people have sex and stuff. I’m just a viewer of porn. I’m indirectly supporting this machine that is destructive. I understand that there’s women (and men) that see great success in their lives from the porn industry, and I can’t knock that, although it may confuse me, maybe it is some people’s true passion to suck 100 guys dicks in one sitting. I DON’T KNOW. I just can’t help but feel bad when I see a girl that is clearly beautiful, could have been an actress or a model, and there she is taking it up the shitter. A part of me dies a little bit every time I get off, and think of deeper things like that. I don’t think that if any of those women had a chance to do something else and be successful, they wouldn’t ever choose to do porn. It’s just not fair to them, and now that I think about it, it’s crazy that their success depends on the base of fucked up viewers that they have. Not a pretty thought on all levels, also considering the women that did it and did not succeed. Overall, porn makes me feel like shit, and I need to stop fucking watching it.

Drugs - I can’t deny how nice the idea of having a few drinks or an having occasional cigarette. They’re great socially. By yourself though (which I tend to do often), it is a sad thing. I think it is a sad thing even with other people, when there’s not much reason to be consuming drugs. I understand that they can be a “social lubricant”, but really when you are consuming so much of it you can’t really call it a lubricant. It’s more like a flood, or like a wave that everyone is just riding, instead of people interacting normally. Drinking in excess for me has been common, too common I’d say. I would drink (a lot) with friends maybe every weekend. Recently, I’ve snapped and yelled at some of my friends in some kind of drunken rage (which is actually not even the first time) . This kind of behavior makes me very uncomfortable. I want to be happy and laugh with my friends, not be angry. Drinking is terrible for sleeping as well. You wake up feeling like complete trash, and your whole day has already passed. It steals a lot of life away. Moving on, cigarettes were an everyday thing for me. It was never so bad as to a pack a day, but I’d say I would do a pack or maybe two in a week, so a few a day. Cigarettes are nice in a social setting in a different way from alcohol, it sort of makes you more alert. In regular day to day life though, they are like taking a breath of fresh air. I know how ironic it sounds (lol), but the most common application is to have a cigarette after work. It stimulates you and somehow relaxes you at the same time. In that way cigarettes for me are such a chill drug, like you can’t get “drunk” on them if that makes sense. To be sitting listening to music and enjoy a cigarette is a subtle, but nice feeling. Apart from all that, they do make you feel like shit in a strange very obvious addiction kind of way. You always want one. The triggers are wide. They make you short on breath in physical activity. It does actually have some reactions in your brain to produce feel-good chemicals, so it does steal away some “happiness”. It is also very bad for health long-term, as is drinking too. I need to sober up and look at these drugs from a more mature perspective. I would love to be able to control my usage of them, because I can’t help it; I love beer, I love whiskey, and a cigarette tastes amazing sometimes.

General laziness/boredom - The biggest sign, sleeping way too much. There has to be more to life (lol). I can’t control my naps, they end up taking hours. This happens even after I get enough sleep. There’s so much to do, so much fun, so much building to be done, and what do I do? I’M FUCKING BORED. I’m so spoiled, or a better word I like to use, rotten. In general, I would safely say that boredom is the cause, and the other things listed above (phone, masturbation, drugs), are the effect. If I can learn how to properly control my boredom, I could effectively control all those vices. I think this should be a post on it’s own so I’ll try to attack this and write about it later.

Anyways, It’s sorta sad in a weird way that I haven’t been able to update in a while. So many things have happened. My cat (Nibbler) almost had to get put down and got surgery for free (He is doing great). The old place in Norcross I was renting got burned out, I lived with my brother for two months, and found a new place. I have a girlfriend now (albeit on and off). I’ve been working with my friend for almost two years now, no longer typing away at an office job. My sister Alisha moved to Japan, and very recently my youngest sister Anna finally turned 21. Time passes by and so many big things happen, it’s sad to not write about it. I know I was keeping a physical planner/diary, but I feel like on here I can write more freely and deeper (I don’t know why). Anyways, I hope not too much time passes before I write again. Until next time. ^-^