#been dealing with stuff lately so sorry for lack of content :\

[gimblest]

Hello! I am here (somewhat). Life's being busy and sad but I wanna try and participate in Artfight again, here's my link.

Send me weirdos to draw pls and thx

[wayfinderships]

I LOVE YOU TURN BASED RPGS!!!

Good afternoon gamers!!! I miss F.inal F.antasy. I miss it a lot-

[t0yac1d]

Attention (C.Grimes x Fem!Reader)

Request: hi! I had a request in mind with Carl grimes where like the f! reader is being a brat because they haven’t had sex in a while and she’s starting to become really pent up so she starts acting up and stuff and Carl yk deals with her. And it involves stuff like degradation, oral(f receiving), overstimulation. And then include some aftercare afterwards where he’s all like lovey dovey and shit.

Btw no worries if you can’t write this anytime soon! 🫶🏻

Word Count: 2,017

Warnings: Smut, bratty/mean!Reader, jealous/mean!Carl, some degrading but lots of mean!Carl, biting, teasing, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, aftercare

Notes: Idk loves, I think I like having mean!Carl around. Also, I am so fucking sorry for getting this out extremely late, it won't happen again!

You've never been one to act out. Never been one to be impatient over something so small. Never been one to cause a problem that could've very easily been solved if talked about. But as they say, there's always, always, always, a first for everything.

It's been a little while since you and Carl have done anything intimate. Whether it had been holding hands, cuddling, kissing, or even just sex. You're aware of the huge ongoing and dangerous situation that's going on. The world has gone to shit, and it has been like that for years. So, you know that you can't always live that perfect and peaceful life you dreamed. But you just missed your boy's touch, his smell and presence so much that it started to get to you.

You lacked attention from him, he'd give you a glance and a smile when he could but other than that, you've been sleeping in an empty and cold bed.

It started a couple of weeks ago, your tone and mood shifted whenever you spoke to him. You acted colder to him than to anyone else. He had wondered if he did something to upset his girl, but before he had the chance to ask his dad called him over for help, and since then he had forgotten about it.

You then started getting a little too touchy with some of the guys, especially Ron. That made Carl feel something within, something he hasn't felt before. You've always talked to Ron, you guys were pretty close, but for some reason he felt as if right at that moment there was something else happening that wasn't friend-like.

You've tried almost every way to get Carl to react to you, including flirting with Ron to see if he'd grab you and take you to his room so you could finally feel his touch after so long. But it all failed. You were so close to giving up when you got an idea that wasn't exactly the best.

But if it gave you the possibility to be touched in anyway by your boyfriend, you'd take it.

Carl was in his room, getting dressed to go out on a run. This was your chance to:

A. Have a peaceful conversation and talk to him

Or

B. Make him feel what he unintentionally made you feel

You made sure to wear the hottest and sluttiest outfit you owned. A very short and tight shirt that showed a beautiful amount of cleavage and the miniest skirt you had in your wardrobe. But it was perfect for the weather, as it was a heat wave. So, in your defense, it was the only outfit that kept you cool in this heat!

Before you walked in the room you gave a knock on the door and announced it was you. When you got the green light to come in, you opened the door and closed it behind you.

You made your way to his full body mirror, not saying a word to him as you fixed your hair, face, and just checked yourself out while checking him out in the mirror at the same time.

"What? No 'Hi'?" he joked, walking to you, and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.

If you weren't so upset with how he treated you these past couple of weeks, you would've leaned into his touch and sighed with content, inhaled his scent and enjoy his presence while you had him.

But you kept your composure. You stood your ground and resisted the feeling.

"Hi, Carl." you muttered, focusing on your figure more than his, you knew if you continued to glance his way you'd pounce on him.

"Hi baby," he smiled, leaning in to give your cheek a kiss. When he did you wiped it off with the back of your hand and sighed, "Don't do that, you'll ruin the blush."

Carl's face twisted in confusion, you've never cared when he kissed your face before, whether there was makeup or not. "Sorry," he apologized.

"Sure, how do I look?" you questioned, crossing your arms, making your tits push together and almost spill out of your tiny top. "Beautiful as always. Are you coming with me?" he asked. "No, I'm heading to Ron's."

Carl felt a pang in his heart and gut.

"Why?" he asked, curiosity taking over him.

"To be fucked and stuffed my love." you smiled.

You didn't even get the chance to walk to the door when Carl hooked two of fingers around the belt loop of your shorts and pulled you towards him, your back hitting his chest.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"What?" you asked, tilting your head.

"I must've heard your pretty mouth wrong. Why are you going to Ron's?"

"To be fucked and stuffed." You repeated, looking up at him, "Don't you have somewhere important to be? Like leaving me again for the fourth week in the row?"

The cogs in Carl's head turned and a lightbulb went off, "You're acting like this because I've been busy?"

"No, I'm acting like this because I'm practically in a relationship by myself."

"So, you dress like a whore and tell me you're going to get fucked by your friend? You're funny." he chuckled, turning you so your body would face him.

"I'm not joking. If you won't fuck me, I'll just go to someone who will. Someone who I know would fuck me better than-"

Carl grabbed your jaw and forced you to shut your mouth, "What was that? I couldn't hear you; can you say that again for me?"

You whimpered, hands tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"Get on the bed and lay on your back." he said as he let go of your face.

"And if I don't?" you teased, your lips getting closer to his, ghosting over them. "Get the fuck on the bed, bitch."

You giggled and lied down on the bed, he wished he could be mad at you for saying those things. But he can't. He just can't.

You look too beautiful and dreamy with the way you were splayed out on his bed.

"This is funny to you sweetheart?" he asked, hovering over you, kissing your neck and leaving bite marks over the skin. "Just a little," you sighed.

Carl hummed and made his way down to your shorts. He unbuttoned them and pulled them down. He kissed the inside of your thigh and softly bit them.

You were soaked, you just knew there was a wet patch on the middle of your panties from how desperate you were for Carl. He looked up at the wet spot and smirked, "I haven't even started yet, and you're already soaked."

"Not for you, that's for sure." you said, crossing your arms. "Not for me?" he asked.

"No. Not for you."

He hummed at your response and his fingers grazed against your clothed cunt. Your body shivered at his touch, and you sucked in a breath.

He toyed with your clit through your panties and lightly touched it.

He slid your panties to the side and teased your aching, begging, wet hole with a finger.

He moved his hand back and got off of the bed. "What are you doing?" you asked, "Well, you're not wet for me, right? You're wet for him."

"You can go to him to cum." he smiled.

Well, this didn't go as planned. He was supposed to deal with you, but he's just, leaving?

"So, you're leaving your girlfriend here?" you asked, "No, I'm leaving a brat here. Tell my girlfriend I'll be back."

"Your girlfriend is gonna be fucking another guy on your bed." you mumbled, Carl scoffed and turned back to you. He spread your legs and pulled your panties off of your body.

He pushed your legs up to your chest and dipped head low.

You felt his tongue lick and lap at your folds and juices. Drinking you and tasting your essence. You were so horny and pent up from the lack of sex that you didn't need much to cum. His tongue alone was doing the job.

Your whines and moans grew louder and louder, you were so close to cumming on his tongue. Your mind was foggy and empty, the only thing in that head of yours was that you got what you've been missing.

Your moans began to break as you felt yourself about to cum, that's when you felt Carl's tongue leave from between your legs.

"Apologize." he said, "W-What," you stuttered, "Apologize for the things you said."

"Um, I'm s-sorry,"

"Say it like you mean it."

He pushed his knee close to your pussy, the friction making your toes curl.

"I do mean it!" you cried out,

Carl didn't really believe you; he didn't believe you meant it but that's fine. He'll just get it out of you.

He spread your legs once more and dipped his head between your thighs and kept your legs on his shoulders. He shoved two fingers and his tongue in your hole and curled them.

You came all over his tongue and fingers, panting and wiping sweat off of your forehead.

You thought that was all until Carl cleaned his fingers and dove back in. Your hand flew to his head, you were so sensitive right now. You were always sensitive after you came, and Carl knew that he also wanted to take advantage of that.

Again, it didn't take much for you to cum, but each time you did he would just go back in. He wouldn't give you a break and you started to feel tears fall down your face from the stimulation.

"Apologize and this will be the last one. If I don't believe you, we'll just keep going."

He's been repeating that over and over and over again. You've apologized more than you can count on both hands.

"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean when I said I was going to fuck Ron! I-I didn't mean it when I said he was better!" your whines broke your sentence up so much, you sounded so pretty, and looked so slutty.

So messy.

Your hair clung to your skin, your mascara ran down your face and you were shining with a coat of sweat. Your skin was hot, and your cheeks were flushed. You were a mess. And it was all because of him.

You felt Carl smile and he made you cum one last time before kissing up your sweaty legs, stomach, chest, neck and face. "You want anything? Water or a snack?" he asked, "Water.." you said, your voice not even above a whisper.

Carl left his room to grab a cup of water and some snacks. He gave you the water as he went to run a cool bath for you. He came back to his room and picked you up bridal style. "Can't wait to carry you up like this through the threshold." he chuckled sweetly.

He sat you down on the tub and helped you take your shirt off and wiped your makeup off for you.

"Get in, let me clean you." he softly spoke. His tone was different from before, guess he just matched the energy you were giving him before.

You sat in the tub as Carl lathered your body in soap and cleaned you off. He was so sweet to you. He wouldn't hurt you, not on accident, never on purpose. "I'm sorry for the way I acted." you spoke up, breaking the silence.

"It's okay love. You were just upset that I haven't been treating you like my girlfriend and I understand that. But say shit like fucking Ron again and I'm beating him and fucking you like a whore."

You smiled and giggled at his words, "You'd like that," he said, shaking his head, "I would."

"Freak." he joked.

It was times like these that made you remember that he in fact did love you. Even when you acted out and got moody, he still loved you and cared for you deeply.

[copiousloverofcopia]

Sorry for the lack of content and interaction lately.

I know some of you have reached out and are wondering so I will address things here.

Yesterday was my birthday but recently I haven't really felt like celebrating a whole lot of anything.

My dad, whom I am very close with, was just diagnosed with cancer late last monthr and is in the beginning stages and processes of things including surgery, radiation, and chemo.

Because of this I've taken on a lot of extra responsibilities to help him out and have been in a very low mental health space.

I've also been working a lot of overtime and of course doing my regular life stuff like taking care of my children which has been been adding to my plate, though they (and my Papa) have definitely helped me through all this and I love them very much 💗

I just wanted to say thank you all for hanging in there with me while I'm dealing with all this and not being able to spend a lot of time in the creative space that I usually like to dwell in. It's been tough but I'm wading the waters and trying to get through it all.

Thank you and Love you. Go in sin.

💗 Prime Mover Ren

[doumadono]

Hey. I’d been putting off making an emergency rq in the hopes that things would get better, but unfortunately they have not. I’m feeling very unhappy and bored, like I’m not going anywhere. I’m content and restless at the same time and it’s incredibly frustrating. I also require large amounts of stimulation to not feel bored which I am having difficulty finding.I hate it and idk what to do so yea. Also not helping is the fact that my skin condition gets worse in summer (it causes my feet to get v sore from walking, standing, and overall doing stuff and causes difficulty walking without a limp).

With this in mind, I’d like to ask for some headcanons of douma doing something stimulating (rock climbing, ice skating, etc) with reader bc they’ve been unhappy and bored for a couple weeks. Thank you <3

Douma & bored s/o - headcanons

A/N: Hi, darling, I'm really sorry to hear that things have been tough lately. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and I can understand how frustrating and challenging it must be. Finding ways to cope with boredom and restlessness can be a real struggle, especially when facing other physical challenges too. If you're open to it, exploring new activities or hobbies that align with your interests might help alleviate some of the boredom! ♥

MASTERLIST

When Douma notices your unhappiness, he decides to surprise you with a magical ice skating experience. Using his Blood Demon Art, he creates a private ice rink in a serene, moonlit clearing. Hand in hand, you glide across the ice. He takes extra care to ensure you feel safe and supported as you twirl and laugh together. "You're doing great, darling!"

To help lift your spirits, Douma suggests you engage in ice sculpting. He provides you with tools that make shaping the ice easier and guides you through the process. As you work side by side, he listens attentively to your thoughts and shares stories about his past experiences, fostering a deeper connection between you.

He suggests an outdoor activity to clear your mind. He takes you on a hiking trail through a picturesque forest, the moonlight filtering through the trees in dappled patterns.

To lift you spirits, Douma arranges a dance workshop in a secluded room within his quarters. He leads you through various dance styles, from traditional to modern, encouraging you to let loose and have fun. "Life is full of surprises, my dear. Let the music guide your movements, Y/N!"

Observing your desire for something new, Douma suggests an intriguing skill to master: Tessenjutsu, the art of using the Japanese war fan in combat. "It's a graceful yet formidable art."

Despite his lack of personal experience with human food (he ate it hundreds of years ago), Douma decides to embark on a culinary adventure by offering to teach you how to cook. "Cooking? I'm excited to learn, but aren't you a demon?" You remark. "Indeed, but I have observed many human activities over the years. Let's explore the realm of flavors together!"

Inspired by a desire to share a piece of artistic world, Douma introduces you to a biwa, a traditional Japanese musical instrument. Douma provides you with a beautifully crafted biwa and patiently explains its strings, frets, and techniques.

[kairiscorner]

HI AGAIN EVERYONE !! i'm terribly sorry for the lack of any updates or content from me, life's been a little hectic as of late (2024 has been a rollercoaster of a year for me) and i've been pretty slumped with real life stuff to deal with ...

as much as i want to get back to writing and fulfilling my requests both here on tumblr and on c.ai, i don't think i'll be able to write/update yet ;-; it's just another life update, and i'm sorry about that 🥹🥹🥹

but it always fills me with bursts of joy and delightful surprise to know some of you guys are still interacting with my past content and would like to see more !!

thank you, all of you, for reminding me why i stuck with this journey since about a whole year ago. it's for all of you who enjoy seeing my work and support me, and those who share the same interests and want to just have a friend or a free space to talk freely about what they love.

it's all you guys, that's why i stay, and that's why i want to stay here and hopefully get back to writing and feeding the delulu for many, many more years to come (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

it'd almost been a year since that shy little introvert named kairi uploaded her introductory post and made some friends on this platform, and i'm glad that you all shared this journey with me. for the new ones to my platform, i hope to make many memories with you all and that you guys can enjoy what i put out, that none of you will be afraid to just geek out with me !!

and for the old ones, my OGs, thank you–from the bottom of my heart–for being the reason i never gave up on this blog. i wouldn't have it any other way, with the friends i made along the way, with the lovely anons i've come to cherish and adore–and to you all, my readers and followers, thank you, thank you, thank you for being a part of my journey and growth.

i'm so glad to be celebrating the first anniversary of my blog, and i'm even more glad to be celebrating with you all! i love you all from the bottom of my heart, and as always... silly kairi thanks you little pooks (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)🩷

[zannolin]

hello! sorry to bother you, but I saw you said you're reading your book number 91 (!!!! That's impressive) and I've been looking for book recommendations lately, so if you don't mind, would you share some book recs you have? (of fiction if it's possible). thank you!

haha yeah i tend to spend most of my free time when i'm not writing (or doing fiber crafts) reading books. absolutely so happy to give recs!!! all the time!! will talk ceaselessly about the books i'm reading!!

anything by ann patchett ever but my favs by her are bel canto, the magician's assistant, and commonwealth. she's litfic and very very good, even her nonfiction stuff

the scorpio races by maggie stiefvater is my fav book of ALL time. it's ya urbanish fantasy. lifechanging.

the locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. lesbians abound. sci-fi/fantasy absolutely gorgeous in every way. cuts me to the bone

jurassic park by michael crichton. yep there's a book! i am almost done reading it right now (it is in fact book number 91) and i seriously love it like could not recommend more.

any of kristen arnett's books but mostly dead things by her is my fav! it's about a lesbian taxidermist

it's middle grade but the beyonders trilogy by brandon mull is so so so good and i love it deeply

lockwood & co by jonathan stroud is a fun ghost/paranormal series; literally the best ghost series i have read bar none

if you like peter pan, fairytale retellings, or having the heart ripped out of your chest by the concept of loneliness and growing up or the lack thereof, the peter and the starcatchers series by dave barry & ridley pearson is a really good peter pan retelling. if you're willing to overlook how some aspects of the peter pan story as a whole have not aged very well. book four is so fucking good tho

i don't often recommend ya fantasy or romance of any kind but the folk of the air series by holly black is a really good fey series with enemies to lovers i actually liked

in a similar vein of the two above, the lunar chronicles series by marissa meyer is a really fun sci-fi retellings of fairytales; heartless by her is not connected in any way but is also a fairytale retelling i fucking LOVE

our wives under the sea by julia armfield is queer, excellent, and a little horrifying

authors i have only read a few from but highly recommend and need to read ALL of include octavia butler and toni morrison

her body & other parties by carmen maria machado is a life-changing collection of queer horror short stories; in the dream house by her is also incredible but it's a memoir and you should look up content warnings on it beforehand if you're a person who doesn't do well with heavy content

i've only read the first two books but the beartown series by fredrik backman is REALLY good; it's about hockey and friendship and living in small towns and stuff. it does deal with some heavy content as well so again w warnings etc but truly i'm obsessed

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia was another horror book i really liked

middle grade again but i adore the twistrose key by tone almhjell (it's fantasy and about like growing up and beloved pets and things) (i'm trying not to rec a ton of middle grade here because i know it's not for everyone but i am an enjoyer of a lot of middle grade series if you ever want recs lol i am like supreme lord of reading puzzle/mystery/adventure series)

i have only read one book by tj klune thus far but my friends swear by him

the princess bride by william goldman is unironically SO good

if you like vague horror, suspense, and having your mind boggled, mona awad is really good

the dead lands by benjamin percy is (stay with me here) a post-apocalyptic retelling of the journey of lewis & clark (yeah the guys from us history) and i'm gonna be real. i was shocked by how much i liked it. it's WILD.

babel by rf kuang is like. massive. but it's really good historical fantasy.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones is really good horror and i've heard really good things about the rest of his books

meddling kids by edgar cantero is this really funky scooby-doo inspired horror/mystery novel that i love. it is Very quirky.

not fiction but animal vegetable miracle (barbara kingsolver; about farming and american food culture and family and stuff), the shallows: what the internet is doing to our brains (nicholas carr; about information technology etc), long live the tribe of fatherless girls (t kira madden; memoir, trigger warnings again), and the radium girls (kate moore; us history) are just. so so so good. in many different ways. couldn't not rec them!!

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott is really good fantasy; it's an urban fantasy take on the baba yaga mythos that i really loved

four treasures of the sky by jenny tinghui zhang is historical fiction with a tinge of fantasy; gorgeous writing

the girls at the kingfisher club by genevieve valentine is a flapper retelling of the 12 dancing princesses

tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica is really really fucked up horror/dystopia about a world where cannibalism has been legalized; very graphic in a sense but like. WILD to read.

i hope that's a good range! i read allll sorts of books and i know not all of them appeal to everyone but those are the ones i've really really enjoyed within the last couple years. hope you find something you enjoy out of all of them!

[jade-island-lives]

Health Update: 5-30-24

Hi all, it's been a while since you've got an update from me.

I'm sure you have noticed my lack of writing content or real engagement. For that, I am more sorry than you could ever know.

In hindsight, I should have been honest from the start. But I honestly thought that I was going to manage what was going on and continue on with my projects. But...my physical health has been...less than optimal lately, and now it's gotten to the point where I can't do literally anything. Chores, projects, schoolwork, and commissions, have all been really difficult to complete.

I'm going to put what has been happening to me under the cut here as a precaution as it will involve medical stuff and mental health issues.

I'm also going to add a content warning here. Under the cut, I will explain some light medical stuff, including medications. My mental health is the reason why I'm going through said medical stuff.

This will include talking about an issue I have been struggling with for...pretty much my entire life. I won't go into much detail, but I don't accidentally trigger or hurt anyone who reads this. Feel free to skip if you're not having a good day or are particularly sensitive to these topics.

CW: Medical stuff, eating disorder (BED)

Yeah, you read that right.

I've been open to close friends about it, but I've never really talked too much about this outside of that.

For a long time, I have been struggling with eating problems. I deal with a lot of issues with overeating to the point of discomfort. My anxiety and depression aggravate the issue. Of course, these things have had a really negative impact on my physical, mental, and emotional health.

After years of dealing with these eating problems, I was recently diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I'm not really ready to talk about it in depth, but I am seeking treatment for it.

Part of my treatment involves medication. And the current medication I'm on is making me feel drowsy, lightheaded, and just...sick.

I've been struggling to complete all sorts of tasks lately, even getting out of bed. So, writing has been off the table lately.

I really am sorry for all of this. I had no idea that these medications would affect me so severely. I am also sorry for not being completely open about my mental health. I honestly didn't know how to talk about this. I'm still self-conscious about this issue, guilty about it even.

It's tough to explain right now because I am still in bed, lightheaded, and drowsier than ever. For the first time, I'm having difficulty writing out my thoughts and feelings. It hasn't been pleasant.

I am currently working with my doctor and psychiatrist to solve these issues and hope to be back to work soon. Until then, thank you for your support. I am forever grateful for each and every one of them.

[randompajamaalt]

hey guys!! Terribly sorry for the lack of content lately!

I’ve been super busy with a lot of stuff and I haven’t been nearly as motivated as I usually am with- well, anything really.

I’ll try to keep posting stuff as usual but I’m not gonna force myself to draw or write stuff if I’m not in the mood to since that would result in art that just doesn’t have as much feeling to it as my usual stuff.

I’ll post some old things and stuff I’ve put into my sketchbook to feed y’all, but I’m also gonna try making physical things in the real world since that’s what I’ve been motivated to do lately!

Who knows, maybe I’ll make something insanely cool and post it. But for now a lot of stuff is very iffy and I can’t really give a date for when I’ll start being “productive” or “creative” again.

Sometimes I just get artblock and it’s something I’ve gotta deal with. But again I’m not gonna make myself draw or write stuff. I can try, but no guarantees. Pixel art usually helps with this, though, so maybe some of that will pop back up!

Anyways I’ll still be active and stuff, just less art than usual :)

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Um. Hi. I am actually alive! Ahahaha....

Sorry about the impromptu hiatus, friends. I'm like 85% sure I have some variety of ADHD and basically, if I'm not Very Invested In The Thing, I have significant amounts of difficulty doing The Thing at all. And, well... unsurprisingly, my hyperfixation on the arcana/fictif has faded into the abyss at about the same time as the stories themselves have. I still have both apps on my phone, though I'm not sure why. I suppose I'm afraid I'll lose them somehow, if I delete them, though I know there will be no further updates. Buuuuuut I digress!

So. For once in my life I don't have a main fandom I'm utterly obsessed with! And yet, I have suddenly found myself wanting to write again... so I suppose I have a few options, and I may as well let you all in on the fun, too!

It's poll time, baybee!

Option 1 - Open up my options for requests and take them for any fandom/character I feel confident enough to write for, likely sticking to headcannon list thingies instead of full fics. I'll still do Fictif/Arcana stuff too, don't worry! It'll actually be towards the top of my list, because it's my most recent obsession. Full disclosure: I've been on a little bit of a visual novel kick lately, so you can expect a lot of those in my content list, hehe~

Option 2 - Stick to what you all are here for, reread the routes and fics and such and try to get back to writing almost exclusively for Fictif/Arcana, and try to get out all of those requests I've promised... This will probably be the slowest option tbh, because I think I need to switch something up to get back into writing like I was, but I would be willing to do this if that's what you guys prefer! I'll probably still slip in the occasional thing from other fandoms, because whatever gets me writing, you know? But I'll focus primarily on this fandom.

Option 3 - Shift my focus from fandom content and move into OC content. You'll still get occasional fandom things when I have the inspiration, don't worry! I have one OC/reader insert that I use everywhere, because of various reasons, but the poor thing is horrifically undeveloped, and recently I've been working to fix that and expand on her life and background characters. I've never introduced her to you all, mostly because I just... didn't think you would be interested, and because I was afraid that bringing her into the spotlight would let you all see through the paper-thin veil of her character into the awful void behind it. But she actually feels like a character now, largely thanks to one of my best friends, who has pushed me to develop her further and helped compensate for the areas I'm lacking. You know who you are and you have my eternal gratitude.

Option 4 - Yes. Do all of that. I'll bring in other fandoms to try and spice things up, but try to keep a decent bit of focus on reviving the poor Fictif/Arcana fandoms, while also introducing you to my OC and working on her. You might get the occasional x character fic about her, but I'll try to keep primarily focusing on the x reader/insert ones.

Option 5 - Yes, but make a separate account to do the OC stuff on. I know OCs aren't everyone's cup of tea, and you might not want to deal with that, so I could always do a separate account. I do keep things pretty well organized here, though, so I highly doubt it would be terribly intrusive while you're trying to find my non-oc work.

[barncat-therapy]

Missing Inventory

TIMING: Early May PARTIES:@barncat-therapy & @ohwynne SUMMARY: A bunch of pastries go missing in A Latte To Love, and Luis and Wynne have to answer to the manager as to why that is. CONTENT WARNINGS: Abuse mentions

What happens when several pastries in a cafe suddenly go missing without anyone being able to account for it? 'Oh well' and move on, right? It's not that big a deal.

Well, not to Todd, it wasn't. As soon as the shift manager caught whiff of the incident, he'd begun grilling the staff adamantly looking for the culprit.

Which Luis could understand - getting angry over being stolen from and all. Taking it out on people who were innocent of the crime seemed a bit silly, though.

"Like I said. I didn't see anything. I'm sorry, I'll keep a closer eye out."

Luis took his own interrogation pretty gracefully, answering questions even as they repeated, apologising, not raising his voice, nothing. Not that it seemed to be helping any.

"I swear, if I find out it's you swiping stuff, you're out of here! You're on thin ice as it is, Luis. You hear me?!"

Todd only felt angrier after having gotten no answers, blaming Luis' seeming lack of care for it. The barista's reputation for sporadically being late had already been enough reason to heavily dislike him.

"Roger that, sir."

Luis retreated back to the front of the store quite promptly, having taken it as a signal that he was free to go.

Truly, it felt a bit hopeless to get Todd to like him eventually after all. Whatever he thought of it all logically speaking, guilt and shame did find a way to churn in his belly whenever he and Todd 'clashed' in such a way. Maybe he should have offered to cover the losses...

The balam didn't seem frazzled in the least when he returned either, addressing Wynne with the same quiet, semi-friendly neutral tone he almost always used.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Wynne! Come to the break room!"

Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have been surprised that Todd wasn't done yet.

Nerves had started to spread through Wynne’s body the moment Todd had started his rampage to find out who had allowed multiple pastries to be stolen. Dread settled in their stomach, but their fingers felt tingly as well. It was hard to focus on their work, as they were well aware that it was their fault the pastries were gone and they had no way to tell the truth without coming off as completely insane.

They hadn’t done enough wrong at their job so far to meet consequences, but perhaps this would be the day. They wondered what methods of punishment they used here, the same way they wondered what punishment would await them if they ever returned home. Sometimes they still felt fingers clutching their jaw. 

Todd didn’t seem the type. Consequences looked different in this world and yet they felt tense, cagey, and felt like they’d jump out of their skin the moment Luis returned. “No, nothing too exciting.” They finished writing the name Maisie on a cup and were about to start her order when there was a shout. “Can you finish her up? Soy hazelnut latte.” There was an apologetic expression on their face. “Don’t wanna keep him waiting.” 

Wynne scurried off to the breakroom, where they looked at Todd with an expression that must have confirmed his suspicions. His bark had bite and Wynne had none themself, stammering that they “didn’t see anyone take anything,” and “it gets so busy during rush hour.” 

They didn’t really feel like saying that someone almost a head shorter than them had transformed into some kind of monster and taken off with plenty of pastries. Still, lying to authority went against Wynne’s nature and soon their hands trembled.

Todd’s volume went higher and they just looked more guilty, “I can see that you’re lying, Wynne! Might be easier for us all if you just fess up. Or do you want everyone to be blamed?”

“No, no! I just didn’t take anything, I don’t steal —” This was a lie, too, but Wynne hadn’t stolen from A Latte to Love, so they felt justified in it. Their eyes darted to the door but flicked back with a jump as Todd’s hands slammed on the table.

There was only a quiet nod of confirmation as Luis took over the order so Wynne could answer the call.

Though he did worry. He'd been here longer than Todd's tenure had lasted himself, he was used to the other's behaviour and was perfectly content to suck it up. But letting someone newer, younger, be forced into doing the same didn't quite feel right.

As he worked, he tried to strain his sharp hearing enough to eavesdrop on whatever was said from afar. It proved too much of a distraction, especially with some students chatting together loud enough to drown it out. And so, the man waited instead.

A dirty chai later, it was quiet enough to excuse himself instead and drift closer to listen in.

The slamming was the straw that broke the camel's back, evidently.

Luis came marching in to interrupt, no apologies or sheepishness in sight.

"Luis? Get back to the front!"

Todd hadn't taken kindly to the intrusion, obviously, dismissively waving for the other to get back out.

For once, Luis did the opposite. A faint instinct, perhaps from his brother, yearned to solve the conflict through the threat of fangs and claws. Challenging the hierarchy through an understated glare would have to do. Lacking in intimidation as he was, he pushed his way between Wynne and Todd.

He didn't quite have the words for what he wanted to say laid out yet.

"Are you daft? Get out front. You have customers to serve!"

"Will you quit scaring them? Did your parents never teach you to handle things like a rational person or what?"

Standing to the tallest his 5'4 could get him, he finally spat back to Todd, biting back a 'please' in the process.

He'd be a liar if he claimed he too didn't find the manager's hovering and close proximity in the least intimidating himself. But he was great at not showing it at least.

With his back to Wynne, he hardly seemed bothered by any of this still.

Luis didn't actually expect it to make Todd back off at all - but it did, physically at least. It did nothing to quell the anger, he didn't think, but it was progress. 

It was pathetic, they thought, how they froze in the face of Todd. He was nothing compared to the people they had known before. He didn’t even know who they had been once, how they had mattered — Wynne had been revered and admired, looked up to and envied. They had sat on special seats and gotten the best cuts of meat and yet here they were, so small in the face of their shift manager who wielded power in a way they would later think distasteful.

But for now, there was no room for criticism. There was only the stir of fear within them, the knowledge that they had messed up and that it could cost them their job. Disappointing their superiors wasn’t something Wynne was fond of doing, even if they seemed to keep doing it.

And then Luis came in, only a few beats after Todd had slammed his hands on the table. A show of authority that made them take a step back, perhaps making them look all the more guilty. What did it matter? The stealing was done. It would hopefully not happen again. Wynne hoped the monstrous girl had gotten her fill.

For a moment it seemed they just stood there together, the tension of the room rising with another person present. Luis moved between themself and Todd, and Wynne let him without arguing. They didn’t know him too well, in all fairness, but what they did know about their colleague they liked. And right now? They were glad to be able to take a step back and breathe.

Todd bristled. “Someone ought to have taught you a thing or two about manners, that’s my two cents. Got it?” 

This show of guts of him came as a surprise, though, and they let it occur without participating, shaking the nerves from their hands. After a moment, they stepped to the side slightly, just so Luis’ back was no longer obscuring them from Todd’s view. Their voice was soft and something of a stammer, but somewhat fueled by Luis’ attitude, “Look, I promise I didn’t take anything or notice anything. It sometimes gets very busy, right? One of us must’ve missed something.” They hoped they could form a bit of an united front, they and Luis.“But like this there’s even less eyes in the store? So maybe we should just try and get back so we can make sure nothing goes missing again?”

They hadn’t really had trials at the commune, but even there the rule was that accusations of theft only held weight if there was proof. 

Todd seemed to be rumbling under his skin, staring down at his employees. Maybe he realized that there was little he could do with his blind assumptions. “I’ll be keeping an eye on both of you, going forward. Any differences in the till or stock and we’ll go over this again.” He huffed. “And I’ll make sure the cameras are working again, too.”

He waved his hands, as if he wanted to blow them away with the movement. Wynne knew when to grab an opportunity to turn around and walk off, so they did as much, tugging at Luis’ apron as they moved towards the front of the shop again, leaving Todd with his paperwork and whatever else he did there.

While Wynne spoke, Luis kept up his own protest at their treatment, standing stock still with arms now crossed. With every moment, finding himself just that bit more sure of what he was doing. 

All in all this had gone...way better than Luis expected, huh. Pulled along towards the front with no resistance, he'd kept his half-glare fixed on the manager until they exited the breakroom, no further words shared.

Internally, he preened at the outcome, his righteous anger vindicated and the thought of paying for the theft himself long gone. Faintly, he felt an urge to purr.

There was no time to dwell on it or how out of character that had become of him, though, not at work.

"I'll double check the stock again. Just in case anything went missing during...you know."

Hopefully another quick count of the pastries wouldn't find yet another discrepancy to answer for. 

At least it was done. Wynne wasn’t sure if there would be any consequences besides some more glares than usual from Todd, but they were glad they were back in the store at least. Here, he couldn’t yell or do something incredibly cruel without potential customers seeing. There would be no retribution the way there would have been if this was back home.

They breathed a little easier, taking stock of the customers in the store. They all seemed to be occupied with their own things, but maybe they were just pretending.

“Alright. I’ll check the till.” They looked at Luis for a moment, then pulled open the cash drawer after putting in the security code and pretended to count the money. In all truth, Wynne was just focused on trying to slow their heart beats. Their hands were a bit clammy.

They looked over at Luis. “Hey. Thanks, for that. That was nice. You didn’t have to, but you did it anyway, and I really appreciate it when people do. So. Thanks.” They realized too late that they shouldn’t be thanking people any more. “If I ever need to have your back, I’ll have it too.” That would be nice, wouldn’t it? To have each other’s backs, as colleagues. Not just during lunch rush, but in the face of Todds and all other dangers, too.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

i was going to comment on one of your recent fics (which i kinda liked) until i saw the abrasive author's note berating people for bookmarking without commenting. you don't know why people bookmark things - for many people, it's equivalent to a recs list. just like fic readers aren't entitled to receive fics, fic authors aren't entitled to receive feedback. i'm saying this as both a fic writer and a reader (both long-term, so i have plenty of experience dealing with a lack of feedback). there are many many reasons why readers choose to leave comments (or not), and as a writer you'll be much more content if you can make peace with the fact that there's very little you can do to change that, and instead encourage the commenters that you do get. it sucks, but it is what it is. desperate and abusive author's notes, however, do turn people off. ps: i asked if you read others' fics because i find it hard to believe that you yourself leave a comment on every single fic you read and fanart you reblog. i'd be happy to be proven wrong, but my point still stands - i understand the desire for more comments, but you're going about it the wrong way.

I love when people completely miss the point <3

So, I'm not writing all of this again so go give it a read and come back later. I specified multiple times that ofc saving fics for later without commenting is fine (wouldn't make sense to comment before reading it). And yes, I do comment on every fic I read, multiple times too (I can't guarantee for fics I bookmarked ages ago, but I'm 99.9% sure I always left at least one comment). I don't do it with fanarts because I reblog them compulsively, what I do instead is leave anon messages in the artists' inbox. Although I also leave comments sometimes!

"Abusive" is a strong term, I'm just getting creative because you people are exhausting, as simple as that. As I said in the post I linked (again, read it, thanks) you're all so used to tiktok and such that you think it's okay if people who give you stuff you like for free never get to know your opinion. Wrong. We're humans. We deserve to know what you think. It's the bare minimum.

I'm tired of all that "OMG that fic broke me, I wish I had someome to talk about it with" because we authors are right fucking there.

We are entitled to receive feedback. I've been posting fics for nine fucking years - on an Italian website first, then on AO3 with a different acc that I then deleted, and then with my current one - and reading them for just as long. So excuse me for wanting feedback, excuse me for noticing how the readers' attitute towards giving feedback has shifted now that you're all on tiktok/insta 24/7 constantly bombarded with content that only takes you 10 secs to consume and makes you think "Yeah okay, I can't leave a comment on each and every thing I consume, it'd take longer to leave the comment than to consume the content." (and it's true, like, I know it is)

And trust me, this "if you read without bookmarking you're a jerk" thing is new, check my other fics (I posted over 100 works, but as you can see I only have 40-something now because I delete them compulsively, sorry, orphaning fics isn't for me) and even if you go check the oldest ones (I think the fist fics I posted with my current ao3 acc are from late 2019?) I never said anything. But I'm tired and annoyed. I talked to multiple people here who told me that they'd never thought about this thing until I (and others) shared our honest opinion on it, so, I guess you're kinds on your own in this holy crusade of yours against common decency. Feel free to never read my works again, I'll live.

And I'm not saying you're just finding excuses, but huh, I just checked and the first note regarding this issue is on day 5 (/10 I've written so far) and that one just says "be decent" before I escalated so huh. Yeah. Holy crusade against common decency.

Be fucking for real. Should I put a tw for strong language next time? Is "piece of caca" upsetting? "Meanie"? The only mean one is "cunt" actually. Like I'd be offended too. But the rest? Be for real.

FYI these are all the instances - I didn't add anything to the notes of the other works because I was running out of space. And again, sorry you totally missed the point. Sorry my notes shocked you to the point that you couldn't even comment :o

Peace.

[violetsystems]

We're in this era lately where people get shocked in disbelief when you call them out on obvious stuff. Then when they really get cornered they make an apology to the public rather than the people. Case in point, the Shane Gillis stuff. He really said some horrific shit about chinatown and acted like the slur wasn't anything. Then when he gets a hosting gig it's all "I'm sorry if I offended anyone." You enabled people to hurt through comedy because you aren't aware or coherent of the responsibility that your content has on your audience. Or the real mindfuck... you are aware and you are just lying about it because you get off on it and laugh it off. I've seen this behavior over and over again. I used to think it was just a coke tick but I think it's something far worse and less subliminal. It's hive minded racism that covers for itself out of self preservation. And the counter point is that the Asian community isn't "used to confronting or fighting back" which I think is also a bit problematic to assume. That resistance to this looks as barbaric and homogenous culturally as your narrow mind assumes it would. The people that do these things know what they are doing. And it's almost an art how they hide it and act innocent or sorry when they do something you catch them on. I reached out to an old friend and coworker as a last ditch to communicate my anger and fear for safety about a certain person's actions. They pretended I didn't exist and it was part of a pattern. Immediately after they're promoting their gig with said person at said club where said people fraternize and stalk me on my own property. I'm smarter than to retaliate in a reactive way. I just block them. Or call them out in a quantifiable way for the safety of a community. And when they get caught, they come up with some excuse and everyone pretends it's okay because they're afraid of their fantasy world of fantasy chances crumbling before them. This whole idea that we need to overlook things and be tolerant to people who manipulate the very idea of tolerance is suspect and quite verifiably a pyramid scheme. But what's more is that the act of resistance is more powerful than simply melting down and making yourself look bad. The idea that they want you to confront them on their rigged secret society bullshit is weaker than they are. If the first time I have ever heard of you is from a podcast calling people slurs maybe that's a good sign I never want to hear from you again. I get the idea that none of this is a big deal to them. But faking an Oscar when somebody calls you out on some obvious shit shows not only a lack of affect but a lack of depth of character. People say mean shit sometimes this is true. Contextually, remorse and reconciliation doesn't just happen conveniently so the party can keep going on. Especially when that party is closetly situationally racist and won't ever admit in public that it's hard to apologize for something you said that you intended on hurting people with in the first place. You get caught saying the wrong thing you are put on a cross. Other careers have been slaughtered for life for less. Next thing you are going to tell me is that it's no big deal that you left the Fukushima water running while you caught the Taylor Swift concert.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Shaken... not Stirred

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

I spend most of Saturday in Zoom meetings and on the cell-phone.

By six p.m. I realize that as much as I hate it... I won't be going to Emmett's tomorrow.

I call and he says he understands when I tell him I have a big project due Monday but I know he's hurt.

Same, except I'm also not and that's the problem.

He says to call tomorrow if anything changes and I promise to but even though I want nothing more than to go over there for an hour, it wouldn't be quick.

We'd have mind-blowing sex and then we'd eat and cuddle and he'd take such good care of me that I wouldn't be able to leave.

That can't happen.... I don't even make time for mass on Sunday but my father calls later in the afternoon.

He wants an update which he more than deserves but since I'm expressly going against his wishes... I'm not sure what to say.

No, things aren't quite wrapped up here.

No, I don't need him to call the moving company... I'll handle it when I'm ready.

Yes, I know I have to give the apartment office one weeks notice.

Of course I'll get the car cleaned before I return it, especially since I dropped some fries in it earlier this week.

It's not like I've never done this before.

He thinks I'm stressed from the fire.. I am.

He wants to make sure I know that no one blames me and I shouldn't think I could have done something... I know.

They're thinking of me and love me... Same.

My team pulls together and by Sunday evening we have two bids cleared by the lawyers and ready to go.

Monday morning I sleep in a bit and then drive down to personally hand deliver our bids.

I call that afternoon to find out when we'll hear anything and the news knocks me over.... Three weeks.

It will be three weeks... What am I going to do with myself for three weeks?

The answer is obvious... go home.

I call Emmett and he says he'll be home by 6:30 p.m.

That's a bit late for him but it's been over a week since we spent actual quality time together so I'll be patient... Well, I'll try.

I plan on giving him until seven o'clock so I don't pounce on him as soon as he gets home but I pull up at 6:45 and can't stand the thought of waiting in my car.

I knock on his door.

He looks tired but smiles at me.

"Hey darling, get in here."

I obey gladly.

"I'm just starting dinner, can you stay?"

I haven't had decent food in days.

"Yeah, that would be great."

"So, mission complete? Project finished?" he asks.

He doesn't know the specifics but it's kind of him to ask.

"Submitted. Now I have to wait three weeks to hear back."

I sit at the table in the kitchen and he brings me over a drink.

"Thanks."

He pulls stuff out of the fridge and I try to figure out what he's going to make.

"I don't want to assume but does the whole lack of a factory and this three week timeline mean that you get some time off? Or is it on to the next project?"

I wasn't sure how I was going to bring this up but he's given me the perfect opportunity...  I hate the words I'm about to say. 

"It means I'm in limbo and I should head back to Michigan until they decide."

"Oh. Right. You mentioned going back," his voice is eerily calm and I can't get a read on him.

What is he thinking?

"Will you be coming back to Baltimore?"

This is the hard part.

"I want to."

"But?"

"It probably depends on what happens in three weeks, Emmett. I'm sorry."

If I get one of the contracts I'll have some bargaining room with my father and the board and will do everything I can to convince them to change their minds.

If I don't... there's nothing I can do.

I'm the vice-president until my father retires and I will go and do what he and the board think I should.

There will be another factory to open, other deals to make, other products to develop.

"I want to come back."

"That's nice but it doesn't mean much, apparently. You know, with all your money you'd think..."

"What?"

"It's just that your money sure does buy nice stuff but it doesn't seem to be buying you much happiness or freedom. What's the point if you can't use it for stuff that really matters?"

He's right, money comes with strings and there are lots of things it can't buy but...

"It'll buy plane tickets, we can see each other."

He sort of grunts at me.

"Yeah, sure. Hope you like stir-fry."

"I do... I love it."

He's thawing some shrimp which is definitely one of my favorites.

This will be good.... And it is... It's stuffed full of perfectly good vegetables, the rice is perfectly cooked and the sauce is great.

We're almost finished when he asks...

"When are you leaving?"

"I have to pack up the apartment and return my car so probably Wednesday?"

I could get it all done tomorrow if I had to but I don't really have to.

Besides, it means one more evening with Emmett.

"Can I stay tonight?"

He looks at me, hard, stares until I almost break down.

"Maybe it's best if you don't. Besides, all your stuff is at your place, right?"

Oh. Okay.

"Um, maybe tomorrow?"

"I'm working late, sorry. I hope you have a safe trip back home, Finnegan. I had a wonderful time, really. I can't even tell you how much."

He doesn't have to, I know.

He's giving me the brush off but how can I blame him when I'm the one leaving?

"I did too. This isn't the end of us, Emmett, I hope it isn't."

"Sometimes it's best to move on, Finnegan. Hanging onto the past just hurts. I'll wait three weeks. If you can come back and stay, I'd really like that darling. If not, well, it is what it is."

He stands up and takes both of our plates to the sink.

I think it's time for me to go while I can still see through the tears that are forming.

I've been kicking myself since he walked out the door that night.

He practically threw himself at my feet and admitted that he needed me which is always hard for him.

He was exhausted and desperate for some love and attention and care and all I could manage to offer him was a meal.

I'd already shut down and put us in a box in the back of my closet and I couldn't bring myself to torture either of us with another amazing night.

Part of me hoped he'd change his mind.

That he'd call me Tuesday saying he couldn't do it, he didn't want to leave me and then beg my forgiveness for making me feel like I didn't really matter to him.

I had this fairy-tale ending in my head where he moved in here and we were a happy 'little' family.

Little... even that doesn't make me smile.

He's been gone for two weeks.

He's sent a few texts, letting me know he was home safe and that he was thinking of me.

I responded but kept my distance because it hurts.

Thinking about him makes me ache in all sorts of ways and probably will for awhile.

Everything at home reminds me of him.

The stupid, adorable towels that he sent are in my linen closet.

I have his tiny sheep undies because they were in the laundry and I haven't even reclaimed his drawer yet.

His bendy cups and Spiderman cup are in my cupboard. 

I can barely stand to spend time on my couch, honestly.

We watched movies, snuggled and fucked on that couch.

The problem is that he's everywhere, my kitchen and bed included.

I can't even do laundry without thinking about him.

So I've been spending a lot of time at the bowling alley and work, hitting the gym more than I have in months and doing everything I can think of to avoid going home.

Peter has been staring at me all morning but he probably thinks I haven't noticed.

Please.

I survived for years in war zones by paying attention.

No, we all paid attention... I just got lucky.

"You and Finnegan want to come over this weekend?"

That's a hard question but it's time to come out with it.

I guess I just assumed that Finnegan had told Tristan.

"He went back to Michigan."

"Oh. Well that explains a lot. How long is he gone for?"

It does? Am I that bad? Maybe.

"Probably forever."

That gets his attention and he walks over.

"What? What happened?"

It's a long story but it all boils down to the fact that...

"He was never supposed to stay."

He just left sooner than I thought he would.

"But you two are so good together. My God... I almost left Tristan in Michigan when I came here. Can't believe I was so stupid. I thought we were too new so I didn't ask him to come. Did you ask him to stay, Emmett?"

"It wouldn't have changed anything. He's waiting to hear news about some, some thing and if it comes through he might be back. I don't really know how it all works but he didn't sound all that optimistic."

"Are you thinking about going there?"

Huh?

"To Michigan?"

No, why would I?

For Finn, of course but my whole life is here, just like his is there, except it's not.

He'd be leaving for months or years at a time to go open new factories and then what?

I'd just hang around and wait for him in Michigan?

No thank you.

"Yeah, it's not bad. Winters are tough but you two can come up with ways to stay warm."

Yeah. Not happening.

"He didn't invite me... he mentioned a visit but not... anything else."

He throws his hands up in the air but he's just goofing off.

"It's like you're not even listening to me."

I know he's trying to help but...

"We're not you and Tristan. It's complicated. Our dynamic is... it's unusual."

"So's ours. Just hate to see you moping around and upset, Emmett. Offer for this weekend is still open, it would probably be good for you to get out."

It would be.

"Can I let you know tomorrow?"

"Sure. And I'll have Tristan give Finnegan a call, see if he can weasel out some info for you."

That's not necessary but nothing I say will stop him.

Tristan will call once he finds out Finnegan's gone whether Peter has anything to do with it or not.

I can't imagine Tristan letting that one go.

A car pulls in and it saves me from answering and luckily the rest of the afternoon is busy.

Busy is very good lately.

[go-our-own-ways]

I keep tweeting my thoughts abt 8loom and tsunapi when I REALLY ought to be putting them HERE jasdfoiawherogh I keep forgetting aggghhhh

ig for now the tl;dr is after falling down the 8loom/kimi no hana ni naru rabbit hole, my new hyperfixation now is tsuna keito and hachimura rintaro, but there's way more watchable/leisure content of tsunapi (bc of being in industry longer + being an established actor already) so I've been watching his stuff

started out with ookami ni wa damasarenai, and have been flip flopping it with ryusoulger! it's been a fun time

admittedly feeling kind of bored by ryusoulger, but I'm gonna try my best to finish it (I'm like almost halfway through anyway). I think it's just not my cup of tea, sentai series... it's a lot less engaging (for me) than I thought it'd be compared to kamen rider ;; I've seen several kamen rider shows at this point and I know sentai isn't the same but I had hoped for like...clearer plot, I guess? but I'm halfway through with a lack of plot other than episodic like monster of the week style plot orz not a bad thing! just not my thing in particular, I guess

BUT it's still worth my time for tsunapi, so I will persevere

meanwhile ookami has been...interesting lol. I keep cringing at the romance element, even though I know it's just the medium through which they're trying to determine who the werewolf is. I couldn't stand the tension so I spoiled myself already, so at least that's out of the way? but also because like. my jp isn't THAT good, so it's a little hard for me to follow all their logic right...so I figured meh, doesn't hurt to know in advance lol

tsunapi is very charismatic and cute throughout ookami (: makes me happy to see him here, actually. my one gripe is that his end-game coupling is with an 18 year old, when he was 22 at the time lol. why does japan keep doing this... ; u ;

also been browsing t1kt0k a lot lately... yep I finally fell into that. I use it almost exclusively for 8loom content though, since I realized that these boys (well, most of them) have one, and the official account posted a lot of their stuff there, too. plus, it's been a nice place to find a lot of random content I missed from their insta lives, magazine shoots, and whatnot (:

on a more..serious? note

I get mildly disgusted with myself whenever I think too hard about the next hyperfixation I enjoy, because it feels like the age of the boys just keeps getting younger each time TT I'm trying to tell myself that I just like cute faces + jdramas have a habit of always picking up new cute faces so it's inevitable I'll find younger and younger actors... but ugh god I don't want to become a cougar or some shit TT I could never actually deal with someone younger than me by more than like. 2 years probably LOL...

I think maybe also what's going on is that even though I'm nearly 30 (insane, but time sure flies...), my soul is still stuck at like. 26 or 27. because that's when the pandemic happened. lmao.

I feel like I haven't lived life, had a crazy romance, or anything...so it just gets funneled into the next idol or actor hyperfixation... TT

sorry god for being a disgusting human I guess ;__; though I know my intentions are not dirty, but I know there are z gen kids now who would find me disgusting so... I'm sorry... ; ;

so yeah...that's me lately LMFAO

now note to self COME BACK HERE TO POST YOUR BRAINWORMS...I need to unaddict myself from twitter lmfao

[giselle-archive]

Giselle rolled her eyes playfully at that. "Mhm, twin flames that have apparently both been in some kind of hell since we broke up anyways. Guess we were fucked either way." She muttered, and they truly were. Three years had done nothing to change how they felt for one another, and judging by the way they'd been acting lately, their time apart had been slightly dreadful. At least they were here now, and even if she didn't know what here was exactly, it was gradually becoming better than where they were. She was about to admit defeat about being hesitant to spend this time with her ex until Santana threw in the last part, and her mouth briefly went dry. "Okay, I do...I mean...I know how you like it!" She whined pathetically, and every other thought went flying out the window now as she tried to fight the urge to reminisce on the countless memories she had of being rough with her ex. Her resolve had been fractured enough already, so this was just making it worse. Playing this game with Santana usually never worked out for her, so she was scolding herself once more for even trying it.

Lucky for her, her own threat landed how she'd intended, and she knew Santana Lopez's body language enough to see that she too was turned on and thinking only filthy thoughts, which was both good and bad for them. Giselle was trying to be responsible and take things slow here, but even holding hands with Santana played into the intense yearning she still held for the woman, so the imagery of the Latina sitting on her face had her drenched. Hell, she'd be surprised if Santana couldn't smell the arousal oozing off her body at this moment. Breaking out of her thoughts as Santana found strength Giselle had lacked to move forward, she was almost home free until the massage was mentioned. "You want me to massage you right here on the sofa?" Giselle asked. "I'm not opposed, I just figured you'd want to stretch out more, like in the bed." She hummed, though moving to the bed would have probably tempted them into doing more than just a massage, so staying right here on the sofa was safer. Glancing down the hallway to make sure Coco was in fact avoiding them, she was sure that damn dog probably was somewhere making a mess, and it was deserved so she wasn't going to go and stop her. Maybe Santana's dad had asked her to condo and dog sit to avoid this sort of thing happening, but that was on his ass for expecting her to look out for his or the mistress' shit.

Giselle had come prepared for Santana to fight her tooth and nail on dissecting her insecurities tonight, but it was needed — or more so pivotal, if there was any chance of them fully repairing things and getting back together. Watching the stance, she should've saw the snark coming, but she just shifted closer to her ex anyways. Being vulnerable and talking about this stuff was hard for them both, and the last thing she needed was Santana retreating or assuming that she wasn't listening or taking this seriously, which she was. She initially planned to remain quiet until the Latina said everything she needed to say, but at the prom dig, Giselle glared at her. Prom was a sore topic for her, for plenty of reasons, but even she wouldn't throw that in her ex's face. "I'm sorry that night was rough for you, but I'm not sorry I left before prom even really got started. If you had been in my shoes, you would have done the same damn thing." She stated and sighed, not wanting to dive into that again. It had ultimately been the deciding factor in her leaving her ex and Lima, so they didn't need to rehash it now.

Picking up her glass, Giselle tilted her head back and chugged down all of the glass' contents, and although she knew she'd started going past her usual limit, she didn't care. Santana opening up to her was a big deal, so while she needed the liquid courage to process it all, she was hanging onto every single word that left those lips. Lips she'd kissed hundred of times, that had been etched into her memory since the day they'd met. Chewing on the inside of her cheek as she darted her eyes to Santana's thighs (and in hindsight, it wasn't the better option because now she wanted nothing more than to have those same thighs on either side of her face, but she was trying to ignore that thought too), she couldn't help the way her heart skipped a couple of beats as her ex kept speaking. Why the hell Santana chose now to let her guard down and finally say all of this? She didn't know. But Giselle was practically hanging on to every word now, and her emotions were all over the place now. "Shit...you would do this when I've had like five glasses of wine." She groaned as she put the glass back down, and then she reached a hand over and firmly squeezed one of Santana's thighs. "We can work on the codependency thing this time around, because it's not healthy, and you being so possessive of me is..a lot sometimes. But you don't have to live without me, baby." Giselle stated, failing to hide the smile tugging at the corner of her lips now. "I still think we should take things slow and actually work on our shit before we just jump back into a relationship, but there's no one else for me, San. It's always been you, and I promise I'm not going anywhere this time. Well...I won't go anywhere else without you this time."

"Probably," Santana agreed. She knew not to put too much stock into what was said, but Giselle did have a knack for unveiling sides of her personality she didn't like. "If it's any consolation, I only would've done it because I was hurting too. If you're in hell, I’m right there with you, babe. Chalk it up to some twin flame shit or whatever." It was hardly a comforting response, but it made sense in her mind. Surely there had to be some spiritual explanation for why these two felt so drawn to each other. Santana wouldn't consider herself superstitious or a romantic at heart, but she believed in things like that — not that she'd ever admit it. They could try all they wanted to resist each other, but only an hour into dinner and they were already caving at the first sign of discord. A small smile tugged at her lips at Giselle's admission of inflicting pain on her, as only it would for someone like Santana, and she gave the other a knowing look. "If by "hate it" you mean you secretly love when I do it, then I believe you. In all seriousness though, teasing aside, I missed those things too. Suddenly me urging us to spend more time together wasn't such a bad idea, was it? Just as long as you remember that I like it rough." The Latina goaded, biting her lip to stifle the laugh rising in her throat. If her ex wanted to slow play this, that was fine by her. She got no better pleasure out of this reunion than being an absolute nuisance.

Giselle must have sensed her getting too cocky because she decided to torture her back with her ensuing comment. The mere mental image had Santana's face turning an even darker shade of pink, and now all she could think about were other sexual fantasies she had. Such as how easy it would be to boost herself onto this countertop and let Giselle have her way with her. She'd be eating her out before they had time to serve the leche frita she'd prepared for dessert. Not that she thought either of them would attest much, but now Santana's mind was in the gutter, and she had to suppress the urge to rub her thighs together. "We'll revisit that strip tease later mostly to test your theory, but right now I'm more interested in that full body massage you promised me. It's your own fault, really. You knew that comment would get me worked up." She deduced, giving a halfhearted shrug. Santana was losing her resolve rather quickly, but she didn't want Giselle to have the satisfaction of knowing just how eager she was. It'd been far too long since she'd last had sex, and even longer that she'd been without the touch of her ex's hands on her skin. At the moment, she craved both desperately.

Once they were back on the sofa, Santana relaxed a bit. All she needed was a distraction to quell her growing arousal and the heat prickling her tan skin. "Well, if she wanted to tear up my dad's bedroom in the meantime, I wouldn't blame her." With the dog finally out of the picture, the obvious choice would be to take full advantage of their alone time together. Of course, she would never be that fortunate, so she made a mental note of it for later. At the mention of discussing her insecurities, Santana grimaced. The Latina hadn't expected past traumas to be on the menu for tonight, but with the way Giselle operated, she had no chance of avoiding this. Immediately on the defensive, she let her back hit the sofa with her arms crossed over her chest. "Who said I'm threatened by other women?" Her tone was blasé, with a hint of bitterness. "I may have been insecure in our relationship, but that didn't stem from some second-rate putas vying for your attention. I wasn't intimidated by anyone. People knew not to mess with you or I'd end their existence." Which she did. "Almost every girl at that school hated my guts and I still managed to get nominated for Prom Queen — a dance which you bailed on, by the way." Harsh, Santana. She let out a deep sigh, realizing this wasn't being very productive. "I'm sorry, I know you were upset that we couldn't go together. But that was a rough night for me too. It felt like every insecurity I'd ever had while I was with you had been amplified. I never thought you would cheat on me, but I was always worried you would leave me."

Santana hated trying to explain herself. Most of the time it was anyone's guess why she acted out the way she did. Her need for validation was usually a factor, along with an innate desire to feel accepted. Neither of which she ever received from her parents. "You know what my home life was like," she stated, hoping to steer the conversation in another direction. "The happy family act was just a way to save face until we could all go back to pretending that everything was fine. I think the reason I was so possessive in our relationship was because before you, I'd never experienced that kind of love in my life. You were so caring and selfless, and you made me feel special. I was terrified of losing that, which probably made me more dependent on you than I should have been." She knew she was rambling now, but she hoped Giselle could tell where she was coming from. She hadn't meant for every action she took to safeguard their relationship to be malicious. Santana just wanted to be loved so badly that it manifested itself in destructive habits. "It may have taken me longer to come out than you would've liked, but I would've done it eventually because I loved you." And she meant that, whether her ex believed her or not. Santana had put herself through the wringer reliving all of her regrets from the past. If she could go back and do things differently, she would. Unsure of what else to say, and simply tired of talking, she rubbed her temples before continuing. "The only reason I let you go was because it felt like it was out of my hands at that point, but I never wanted you to move away, Giselle. I should've told you that. Just like how I wish I would've told you in Houston that you're the best thing that's ever come into my life, and despite how hard I've tried, I can't live without you."