#been bedrotting for the past few days because its just safe and secure in bed. I really want to just sleep more | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

batslinger · 3 months ago

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im kind of wondering if i have like. depression or something. i dont want to self diagnose either (not that theres anything wrong with self diagnosing its just for some reason even if i do my research on a topic im constantly certain im wrong or some shit and i shouldnt do the thing... its like the everyone is genuinely doing great except for me and only me mindset. its weird and discouraging and it affects my ability to research as a whole)

majority of this is in the tags

#batsi speaks #batsi sad hours #wasnt meant to be a vent but got carried away with tags #its just that the symptoms have been getting worse and the more i think about it the more i think it might be the case #been bedrotting for the past few days because its just safe and secure in bed. I really want to just sleep more #been either overindulging in food or just not eating at all with no in between #i cant seem to bring myself to genuinely enjoy a lot of what i used to enjoy anymore #i feel like im pulling away from people without meaning to and i want to talk so bad and show that i care but i cant bring myself to #no matter how hard i try adn im scared im going to fuck it up orim going to do it and its gonna be too late or too out of nowhere #and i think it honestly is too late or it would be too out of nowehre or id be jduged heavily for the perceived sudden change of heart #i dont know how to explain it its horrible and i feel like scum for it #and i know its hurting the people i love too #i keep jumping to conclusions uncontrollably and i cant seem to stop myself from rpojecting anxieties onto the sitautions #and it jsut scares me so bad #i dont want to eb like this i want to do better and i want to have the energy to do the stuff i used to do #i dont want people thinking i dont care but i jsut cant bring myself to do anything other than breathe and stay on comfort subjkects rm #amnd praying someone maybe invites me to do something or praying someone checks in on me even if thats selfish #thats so fucking selfish when i cant bring myself do the same holy shit #holy fuck #delete later

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