#been a while since i went and hung out with someone. but eh thats for the future. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

falloutjay · 3 years

Note

Wait we can request more than once? Okay then... I wish for Craig x Insecure! Reader (and also kind of x Tweek). So basically we get into a relationship with Craig, at first our personalitiy from very cheery and everything is peachy keen at first.

But then Craig starts ignoring us or shrugging us off, thats when we start being insecure and start thinking dark things like: what did I do wrong? Is there someone else? Am I that annoying?.

So trying to be progressive with her life, we take a job at Tweek coffee, (also sidenote everyone noticed our change in behavior and were worried, but didn't know how to ask how). So Tweek becomes the brave soul to ask us what's wrong. And we spill our problems out to him, Tweek doesn't know what to do but gives us a shoulder to cry on , few weeks roll by, and we find we have alot in common with him, so we start hanging out with him, almost completely forgetting about Craig. (It's up to you if you want Tweek to gain feelings for us)

By this time, Craig has started to notice and gets in the same position as we were (although more jealous than insecure), it isn't until a girl makes a comment about how she'd leave Craig too if he treated her like that, does Craig connect the dots and apologizes, they compromise their relationship and try to be a better couple and be peachy again (or you could do another ending where Tweek goes 'Treat you better' and fights for us).

I'm so so so sorry that I took so long! I just really wanted to take my time on this and really get into it, since I love the request! <3

I'm also sorry that Tweeks route is shorter but hey, at least we can choose which of the two deserves our love. :)

Thank you for being so patient and requesting! <3

_____________________________________

Craig Tucker x Insecure!Reader X Tweek Tweak

The sun on your skin felt wonderful. There is nothing better to do, than to hang out outside on a sunny, warm, and beautiful day in South Park.

To your luck your relatively new boyfriend Craig asked if you wanted to hang out with his friends and him when they would go to Starks Pond. Naturally, you said yes, getting finally a chance to also hang out with his friends.

While the guys were busy playing catch with a ball, you and Bebe, Clyde's on/off Girlfriend sat on the picnic blanket that she bought along.

It was also the first time you hung out with her and honestly, you were happy to basically get to know all these different people.

Bebe was a ray of absolute sunshine, and her boyfriend was the funniest dork you had ever seen.

Token was a more serious guy but oh so nice to you as well. Tweek and Jimmy were nice too and the quieter ones of the bunch.

"So... You and Craig huh?" Bebe asked you and you finally preyed your eyes from the black-haired boy away.

"Yeah. I was surprised when he asked me out." You laughed and Bebe did so too.

"How come?"

"I don't know. Kinda thought maybe I was out of his league. I'm not the most popular person around school and most people don't know me. Unlike you guys. You and Stans Friends are basically famous."

"That's only because of all the weird shit that sometimes happens around here." You nodded.

“So, how is he?” Bebe continued her questioning and you thought about it for a second before answering.

“Honestly, he’s a real sweetheart. Totally not like you would imagine him to be when you don’t know him too well.”

“That sounds so cute.” Bebe said dreamingly.

Your conversation was disrupted by a ball flying towards you. It landed just a few feet away from the blanket you and Bebe were seated on and Craig came sprinting.

He smiled when he picked up the ball and came closer to you.

“Sorry for that. I think Token was distracted by your beauty.” Bebe giggled in the background and you had the widest smile possible on your face.

“No problem. But I think you need to tell Token I’m taken then. By the prettiest boy around the school.” Now Bebe rolled her eyes.

“Ahh, to be in love like that again.” Now Craig couldn’t contain his laughter. He looked over to where Clyde was standing and obviously waiting for him to bring their ball back.

“Go back. They are waiting for you.” You said, pointing over to the boys. Craig nodded, but quickly pressed a kiss onto your lips, before sprinting right back to his friends.

It was a beautiful day that was always on your mind. Now more than ever. Recently Craig had been rather cold to you and you really had no idea why.

He simply became less and less affectionate, when you would do something together, he barely talked, and he generally seemed changed.

He was angrier, cold, and seemed distant. It hurt you a lot, but talking to him about it was impossible, since he would just not admit that something changed.

It started getting to you. It poisoned your heart and mind that he was behaving in such a way towards you.

Maybe…Maybe he was seeing someone else... But no. Craig wouldn’t do that…Would he? Maybe he just realized you're annoying but didn’t want to break up.

“H-Hey Y/N!” Jimmy called out to you.

You waited for him to walk up to you since you were getting books for the weekend out of your locker. When he was finally next to you, he seemed giddy.

“I was wo-wondering if yo-you’d like to help TimTim and m-m-me with a project?” He asked, a pleasant smile on his face while he waited for your answer.

That smile turned into a frown when you shook your head.

“Sorry, I think I will just stay at home this weekend. I'm not feeling too well…” You lied, hoping Jimmy would not see through your fake smile.

Of course, he saw right through it, but he didn’t know what to do. None of your friends did. They all noticed how different you had become, how you smiled less and less and seemed more in thought.

They weren’t sure what to actually do, or how to help, so they just hope that you would maybe come to them and talk about it.

“Oh o-okay. No problem.” Jimmy said, and you could clearly hear that he was hurt, but he already continued walking.

You starred after him, wishing you weren’t so complicated. You felt like you kept only hurting everyone around you. With a deep sigh, you closed your locker and shouldered your backpack.

“Maybe…Maybe I need to change something…” you mumbled while walking towards the school’s entrance.

Craig had football training anyway, so it’s not like anyone was waiting for you, or that you had any desire to talk to anyone.

Someone hesitantly, you pulled out your phone and went onto Craig's contact.

“Hey, you got time this weekend? <3”

The least you could keep doing is trying you told yourself, even if you felt more and more like an idiot. A few minutes later you got an answer from him.

“Sorry, no time. Maybe next weekend.”

You wondered how many times he had said that by now. It felt like a million times.

Were you really that horrible that he couldn’t stand you anymore?

That it was too much to give you a merciful breakup instead of keep dragging this to the inevitable? And yet you also refused to break up with him.

There still was this small hope that maybe he would come around, see he was being a dick, and change his ways.

You loved him a lot.

And whenever you thought about breaking up, your heart ached. It was a horrible situation for you. And you wished you could escape it.

“Okay, Y/N. I think that’s all you need to know. If you have any more questions, you can ask our son, Tweek when he will arrive. He got a doctor’s appointment today, otherwise, he will be here before you. He’s weird but nice.”

“Eh…Mister Tweak, I know him, we got to the same school and sometimes meet up.” You said, raising an eyebrow.

Mister Tweak, your new employer, simply smiled. You sometimes weren’t sure if he actually listened.

He was an odd fella, but you were just happy to have a little side job, that gave you okay money and had good hours.

You were looking around the shop in your new Tweeks Bros. apron when the door flung open. Tweek stepped into the shop, rambling about god knows what, and took his backpack off.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he laid eyes on you.

“Y-y-you applied here?” He questioned, seeming genuinely surprised.

You and Tweek didn’t hang out that much. He and Jimmy were little busy bees and therefore weren’t at every hangout, unlike Token, Clyde, and Craig.

“Yeah, I thought I…Might need some change or something like that.”

Richard Tweak clapped his hands and proclaimed: “Good, you two seem to get along. Then I will go home. Have a great first day, Y/N!” Tweek and you watched his father leave.

“So…What happened to the well-known fact that your father is a cheapskate and hires no one to save money?” You asked.

“My mother u-urged him to hire someone so that he can be home more. No idea how she convinced him.” Tweek smiled awkwardly, as so did you.

You never noticed before how little you had talked to the twitchy blonde.

Tweek walked behind the counter where you were and also took his apron.

“My dad already explained the basics?” He questioned to which you nodded. “Good, because honestly, I-I suck at explaining things.”

You loved Tweeks smile, and it involuntarily made you smile too.

“Well, I hope this job will get my mind off things.” You mentioned absentmindedly and the blonde cocked his head to the side.

He would love to ask what going on, but he felt awkward. Like it wasn’t his place to ask. And yet in a short-lived moment of bravery, he asked: “Yo-You’re... alright?” His anxiety shortly piped up, making him scared that maybe you didn't appreciate being asked if you're okay and that he already messed up with you.

You let out a deep sigh, the fake smile appearing once more.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“I feel like you’re lying about it.” Tweek wanted to slap his hands over his mouth, felt incredibly surprised that it just came out of his mouth and he immediately mumbled a quick sorry.

“It is fine. It’s just… I don’t know if I can tell you. You’re friends with Craig and shit.”

“D-don’t worry about that, honestly. I wouldn’t dare to tell anyone anything that yo-you tell me in private.” Tweek said, stepping closer to you. He pressed his index finger onto his lips, smiling at you.

“Well…Since you're the first guy to ever ask me...I just feel like Craig doesn’t like me anymore. Just…Whenever I ask him if we want to hang out, he tells me off, he doesn’t kiss me or anything, I just… Maybe he has someone else on his mind already.”

Tweek felt overwhelmed by your sudden confession, not having thought you would actually tell him.

“If you want to hear my honest opinion as someone who is close friends with him, there is no one. Craig is not that kind of guy. Maybe there’s a lot going on with him right now and he just can’t tell you. M-maybe give him some space and he'll come around. I know we not really all that close or anything, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I-I’m here.”

You smiled, feeling actually better, even if you never would have thought talking about it would help.

“Maybe you’re right. And I now have a job, so some time apart might be the right thing.” You shrugged.

You heard the bell above the entrance door ring, signaling a customer arrived.

“Well, let’s see how you do on your first day.” Tweek smiled and gave you a little notepad to go and take the customer’s order.

Weeks had flown by and you had a wonderful time at Tweeks Bros.

Tweek’s parents were incredibly sweet to you, sometimes making you coffee or giving you a cake or cookie free of charge.

Tweek himself had become a really good friend to you. Outside of work, you now hung out at school, sitting together at lunch, or sometimes even hung out on the weekend.

When Craig and you would meet up on rare occasions you texted with him. Tweek was a wonderful person to talk to.

There even was an incident when Craig asked you to hang out and you declined, stating that you had already promised to Tweek that you two would bake cupcakes that day.

“Wait, so you love Fav/Flavor cupcakes too?” Tweek asked feeling giddy, as you two were out shopping.

“Yes. I never found someone who loves them as much as I do!” You happily proclaimed, feeling amazed at how much you and the blonde had in common.

While nearing the checkout area, Craig spotted you two.

He was out shopping with his family. Somewhat angry, he stomped over.

“So you’re busy today, Y/N?” He said sarcastically and let his eyes wander over you two.

“Yeah, like I said. Me and Tweek are baking today.” He nodded, looking obviously not pleased.

Tweek shifted around uncomfortably, hoping this ordeal would end.

“Well, we gotta get going, those cupcakes aren’t making themselves. I'll bring you one on Monday if you’d like.” You smiled.

Craig only stared coldly at Tweek, who wished the earth would just swallow him whole.

“Okay. Have fun then.” Craig mumbled and walked away fuming.

“C-c-come on, Y/N, let’s get going.” Tweek said, tugging you along to the checkout.

“Bullshit. I’m sure Tweek is hitting on them!” Craig fumed, walking up and down in Tokens living room.

Token, Clyde, and Bebe were all there to see Craig's emotional outburst.

Bebe was leaning on Clyde, reading a magazine while Token and Clyde tried their very best to keep their fuming friend calm.

“Tweek? Tweek Tweak? The shyest, weirdest kid in our goddamn school? Are you on fucking drugs?” Token exclaimed, not believing the bullshit Craig kept on spewing.

“Token is right, Tweek is not that kind of guy. He’s our friend and he’s a pure soul. You’re seeing danger where there is none.” Clyde said and looked at Craig with a worrying expression.

Craig huffed and let himself fall onto the opposing couch to where the others were seated.

Bebe kept chewing her bubblegum.

“What ya mean seeing danger where there is none? There is?” Bebe mentioned now sarcastically and kept reading her magazine, obviously not understanding any of the guys here.

Craig made a questioning sound, hoping Bebe would elaborate. She didn’t seem interested in answering until Clyde asked her politely.

“Oh my god.” She exclaimed annoyed and sat up, closing her magazine.

“Craig, do you honestly think you have been a good boyfriend? Because, frankly, you haven’t been great at all. You always ditched Y/N, kept them at distance, you didn’t give two flying fucks about the relationship and now you’re mad they turned to someone how obviously cares more about them? I would have broken up a long time ago. Consider yourself lucky that they didn’t do so already when Tweek seems like a much better option than you are right now.”

Craig's heart stung, and Clyde looked at his girlfriend in shock.

“Honey, you can’t just say that!” Clyde whispered, but Craig stopped him.

“No, I guess she’s right. I was a dick I think. I need to apologize.” Bebe nodded and so did Token. The black boy looked over to the blonde woman, mouthing a “Thank you” to her, to which she smiled.

Craig felt like an idiot. A big one. He was now standing here, flowers in his hand, looking through the glass windows of Tweek Bros..

He saw his girlfriend laughing together with his blonde friend and his heart hurt when he saw it.

He loved Y/N. He didn’t want to lose them.

So, with a little confidence, he stepped into the coffee shop and Tweek was the first to spot him, he smiled at him waving.

When he spotted the flowers in Craig's arm and his nervous expression, Tweek could easily guess why he was here. So, he excused himself from Y/N and went to that back of the shop.

Confused, you turned around and seeing your black-haired boyfriend standing there, looking all awkward made you smile involuntarily.

“H-Here. These are for you.” Craig mumbled, passing you the beautiful bouquet of different flowers over the counter. He extended his hand, asking for your, which you gladly gave him.

“Hey, I know I have been a dick recently and I wanted to apologize. I really didn’t see that I had hurt you and there was a lot going on for me, which is why I wanted to stay alone for a while. I now know that that’s stupid. So, I am asking, can you please forgive me?”

You felt dumbfounded. This was everything you wished for, ever since Craig started being so cold and here, he was, flowers and apology were already given and now it was up to you to decide if you two still had a future ahead of you.

You kept opening and closing your mouth, not really knowing what to say at all.

You wanted to get words out so desperately, but you simply could not…

If you choose Craig:

Finally taking a deep breath, you smiled and with teary eyes said: “You’re forgiven. Just…don’t ever do that again.”

“Never ever again.” Craig agreed and you quickly walked around the counter to hug him.

While he held you close, he whispered to you.

“I’m sorry that I have been so cold. My grandma died recently, and it affected me more than I thought it would…I just wanted to be alone.”

“It’s okay.” You whispered back, just feeling happy that your beloved boyfriend came around.

“So, to make that lost time up to you…” Craig broke away from your hug and you smiled contently at each other.

“Wanna go out for dinner next weekend?”

“I’d love to, honey.” The bell of the shop rang once more, and some elderly men came in.

“Seems like I gotta go back to work.” You mumbled, watching the men get seated.

“Yeah. So, I’ll be on my way, don’t wanna keep you from work. You look cute in your apron though.” You giggled, biting your lower lip.

“I’ll text you when I’m off work.” He nodded, waved, and went outside.

You stared after him for a moment before you took the new customer's orders.

While preparing the coffee and cake Tweek came back and looked at you with a curious expression.

“He apologized and invited me for dinner next weekend.”

“S-sounds amazing. Does that mean… you will stop working here?” He asked and you immediately shook your head.

“Not at all. I love it here and I love working here with you.”

Tweek smiled widely, happy that his friend would stay with him in the shop.

“I really hope you got some nice clothes for that dinner.” Tweek said while he had a glance at your note block to help you prepare.

“I have something in mind. But maybe you’re interested in coming over and help me pick something fitting? And before that, we will try that new recipe for the raspberry cupcakes and banana bread?”

You asked, sincerely hoping Tweek was onboard.

“Yes, that sounds great.” You were somewhat thankful that Craig had been acting so weirdly.

It allowed you to really get to know the blonde coffee addict that you would now even consider your best friend.

“But n-next time he acts up, offer him some cupcakes with la-laxatives in it.”

The customers were looking over to the two laughing idiots behind the counter.

“Oh my god. Where did you get that idea?”

“Have I ever told you the story of W-WikiLeaks and how Cartman got thrown under a bus by t-teachers?”

“No?”

“You’re in for a treat, trust me.”

The following weekend was wonderful for you.

You had a great afternoon with Tweek, baking and trying on outfits, and your dinner with your boyfriend was amazing too.

You had never seen him so well-kempt and without his signature hat, so it came as a surprise when he stood outside of your door like that.

The dinner itself was a new fond memory of yours. You ordered food and talk for hours on end, catching up on what you two had been missing out on for so long...

If you choose Tweek:

You didn’t know why your heart arched; you had known it for so long already but just hoped that you didn’t have to do this.

“I-I…” Craig stared at you.

“I am sorry… I just think we should break up…I think I caught feelings for someone else.” You decided to be completely honest and noticed the change in his expression immediately, even if he tried to play it cool.

“I could have guessed that. Tweek is not a bad guy at all… I just want you to know, I am really sorry for how I behaved and maybe we can remain friends?”

“We will see, Craig.” You awkwardly nodded at each other and he left the shop, obviously defeated.

Tweek poked his head out from the backdoor and questioned where your friend went.

“Home, I guess. We broke up.”

Tweek walked towards you and gave you a hug.

“I-I am so sorry to hear, b-but how come. I thought he wanted to apologize?” “I-I-…guess I just don’t feel the same anymore... My time here at the shop and everything made me realize that I can do better…And you proofed me that especially.”

You took his hand in yours, and he jittered and twitched insanely in this for him unusual situation.

You noticed the red blush on his cheeks, and you smiled warmly at him.

“You treated me so much better than he did recently.”

“Well…I-I-…I d-do like you.” Tweek managed to stutter, and you felt your face heat up.

“Hey…Maybe want to hang out next weekend and make dinner together? My parents are out of town.”

Tweek nodded, feeling happy when the bell above the door made you two instantly gain distance.

To Tweek this was new, a close friend of his hinting that they like him and everything.

That was simply too much for him.

The pressure he felt was immense and yet, he felt happy, giddy… In love.

He felt bad for Craig, his friend, and yet happy since you choose to spend time with him.

That slight red blush kept lingering on his cheeks, as he watched you work. With such ease, you managed to make his head spin.

“Just keep doing you. She liked you well enough until now!” He thought to himself to keep calm.

He just had to keep on doing what he did until now and everything would be fine. Basically, a date with the girl he liked the next weekend?

He will try to manage…

#craig tucker x reader #craig x reader #south park x reader #tweek tweak x reader #tweek x reader

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glassartpeasants · 4 years

Text

You Look Happier

Shigaraki x F!Reader x Overhaul

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cheating

~~~

You sit on your boyfriends bed as a sigh escapes your lips. It’s been like this for as long as you could remember. You, sitting on the edge of his bed while he sat at his computer utterly ignoring your existence. You knew deep down he loved you, at least that’s what you hoped.

It felt like the same thing over and over and over again. You feel ignored and you go to ask your boyfriend for some time together then he just ends up yelling at you for making him die. It was a process that always repeats itself.

But no matter how much it pissed you off you always stayed. Why because to you, he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But you slowly were beginning to think he didn’t feel the same.

“Hey um, Tomura?” You asked as you gently tapped his shoulder which resulted in him slapping your arm away.

“What?” He said in a irritated tone.

“I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner...” You said quietly.

“McDonalds.”

“But, you ate that last night. Can i make you something a bit more healthier at least?”

“You asked what i wanted and i said McDonalds.”

“Oh o-okay...” You voice sounding like a scolded puppy. You turn away and walk out to your car and turn the key.

~~~

Once you had gotten McDonalds you walk out of the store and go to your car...only to find it’s gone.

“W-what happened to my car?!” You gasped. Looking around to see no trace of it.

“I guess thats what i get for leaving the door unlocked...” You sigh as you felt tears prick against the corners of your eyes.

You begin moving your feet towards you home as tears stream down your face. First your boyfriend ignores you, then was being an asshole and now you’re car was stolen.

~~~

You could see your house from where you stood. After an hour of walking you made it home in no time. You sigh in relief before you felt a gun being pushed against your back.

“Give me all your money or i blow a hole through your damn chest.” More tears was coming out of your eyes.

“I-I dont have any money...it was stolen along with my car...” You’ve been to McDonalds so many times that you know the exact price of your boyfriends favorite food by heart. Thats why you only took some money from your wallet and left the rest in the car.

“Bullshit! You have McDonalds in your hands. I’m gonna say it one more time give me the money or I’ll-AHH!” A liquid hit your back and the feeling of the gun was no more. You turn around and saw a puddle of blood and a man with a plague mask next to it.

“Disgusting honestly-”

“Thank you so much sir!” You cried as you dropped to your knees. you held the fabric of your jeans in your hands as the McDonalds splatter all over the ground.

“Why didn’t you use your quirk? Everyone-”

“I don’t have one. So i guess you could say i was born unlucky.” You laughed trying to stop your tears.

“Quirkless eh? People go after you guys all the time since you have nobody to protect you.”

“I have a boyfriend but..he doesn’t seem to care about making me safe i guess,” You chuckle but your tears keep streaming as you look up at your savior.

“That’s unfortunate.” He looked down at you before scrubbing his arm.

“Not a fan of germs I see?” You smile up at him.

“No.”

“Well i guess im not a fan of germs myself haha..” You get up and look at him smiling even through your tears.

“Ah i see.” You only giggle making him raise an eyebrow before you hear your ringtone that you set for your boyfriend. You laugh nervously before picking up the call and the first thing you were greeted by was yelling.

“Where the hell are you?!” You boyfriend screeched.

“I’m s-sorry. My car got stolen and i had to walk back.” You said facing away from the man that saved you not seeing him furrow his brows.

“Well it’s probably cold now!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder next time...I love yo-” Your boyfriend hung up the phone before you could finish.

“I’m sorry you had to see that sir, it’s best i be going now.” You said grabbing the McDonalds and throwing it away.

“Here.” You turn around and saw him holding a piece of paper. You grab and see a number on it.

“Thank-” You look around and see the once mysterious man disappear. Even if he was gone you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Maybe you would actually have a friend that didn’t ditch you after you got a boyfriend.

~~~

“Hey...I’m back...” You said opening the door to your apartment only to hear rough moaning coming from your you and your boyfriends shared bedroom.

You tip toe towards your room and put your ear towards the door only for a blood consuming sadness washed over you.

“I can’t wait to meet you next week! All this online sex is getting boring.” A feminine voice rang.

“Yeah just gotta make sure my girlfriend wont suspect anything.” Thats when you lost your shit. You kicked open the door and stomped your feet all the way over to your shitty boyfriend.

“Get.The.Fuck.Out.” You said grabbing him by his collar and yanking him out of his chair and turning his computer off.

“You look so much happier with her! Go be her boyfriend for all I care! I’m sick and tired of doing everything for you only to be treating like crap. Tell me Shigaraki Tomura, did you ever love me.”

“W-what?”

“YOU FUCKING HEARD ME!” You screamed at him, tears rushing down your eyes and onto the hardwood floor. Making a tiny puddle.

“I did...”

“Then why?” You said as you felt your entire world start to crash around you.

“...”

“I can’t believe i even wanted to marry you! Have kids with you! I can’t believe i even thought a selfish prick like yourself was capable of love!” Shigaraki’s eyes widened. He was at a lost for words. You wanted to be together forever. You wanted to start a family with him. And now because he was so closed off and refused to believe you truly loved him he ruined it. He was so stubborn and in denial that you truly loved him he destroyed the only person who would have cared for him in his darkest days.

“I’m giving you 2 hours to get your shit and leave. Stay here any later and im calling the cops.” You said before walking out of your bedroom and going to the kitchen.

~~~

2 hours were almost up and Shigaraki had all his stuff packed. Everything he owned was out the door except for a necklace that you had given him for his birthday. It had a picture of you and him in it. He shivered as he remembered the day you took it.

He stepped out of the bedroom and went to go to the front door where he saw you in the kitchen. Tears whelmed up in his eyes before turning around to leave.

“I paid for that locket. Leave it here or destroy it.” He froze in place. Did you really mean it? Couldn’t he have just one memory of a good time you both had?

“You don’t deserve to remember me.” Shigaraki started to shake as he held onto the locket tighter. He held on it like his life depended on it before he felt it slip through his grasp. He turned around only to see you holing the chain in your hand as the locket dangled in front of him.

“Please give it back...” His voice sounding so weak and vulnerable. His heart pounded in his chest before stopping as he saw you throw the locket to the ground and stepping on it making the locket break to the point of no return.

“There I did it for you.” You said before grabbing the back of his shirt and tossing him out of the door and shutting it. Making sure he heard you turning the lock.

~~~

1 year later

Your laughter was music to the mans ears. Ever since he met you on that day where he saved you from being robbed he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

After he heard about your breakup he swooped in and immediately was your shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what it was about you. You were just his everything after he met you. Pretty much to the point where it annoyed him.

“You jacket looks cleaner today, did you wash it?” Boom there it was. Everything you said and did always made him fall deeper in love.

“Why I did thank you for noticing, by the way, I have a meeting tomorrow with someone and i was wondering if you would like to accompany me?”

“Of course! I would do anything for you Kai!” You said smiling as you wrapped your fingers in his gloved hand before brushing your cheek into his sleeve.

“You know you look so much happier then you did when i first met you.”

“Well before then I didn’t have you!” You giggle before planting a kiss on his mask making him blush a bit. You never kissed him on his skin only on his mask. Which he greatly appreciated but he did want to feel your lips on his once.

~~~

You and your boyfriend sat on the couch while you heard footsteps coming closer to the door. You scoot closer towards your now boyfriend and intertwined his gloved finger with yours. Making him hold your hand tighter.

“Right this way.”

“Fine whatev-” Silence. There stood your ex boyfriend Tomura Shigaraki. He looked so much different. Your once happy face slowly dropped to a emotionless one. No noise was made as Shigaraki made his way to his seat.

“Now Shigaraki lets talk.”

Overhauls voice meant nothing to him. All he could do was stare at you behind father. And you knew he was staring at you too. He couldn’t believe it. His ex girlfriend, the one who he let get away, was with Overhaul.

What hurt the worse is that while shigaraki was in Overhauls office he noticed all sorts of pictures of you two together. Smiling and happy with one another.

When was the last time you smiled at him like that?

“Shigaraki! Are you even listening?” Overhauls voice dragged him out of his thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Good, now I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“Why are you staring at my girlfriend?”

“Because she looks happier.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I think you know...”

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tscmu · 4 years

Text

first dates with haikyuu boys :)

pt 1. - msby black jackals

genre; kinda fluff idk?? just kinda cute early relationship tings

warnings; secondhand embarassment, lil suggestive comments ( from atsumu who am i kidding )

characters; bokuto, atsumu, hinata + sakusa

all characters r timeskip and 18+ !!

koutarou bokuto

- bruh youd be terrified for this date like.. a guy youve hardly spoken to with a massive personality asking you to meet him at a tiny cafe.. ok

- hed love tiny cafes though like the ones nobody are in so its just you two.. AWH

- dates wouldnt be a massive thing to him so youd be dressed up casual formal with light makeup on and hed strut off the bus in his kit literally sweating, just left practice and youd be like 😳

- you wouldve met him at a club like a week back when you were both off your faces and youd wake up the next morning with no idea what happened the night before, just like 10 texts from someone with the contact name ‘BokJUt OWks MAn’ asking you on a date.. why wouldnt u say yeah??

- it would go rly well !!

- i think itd be a bit slow at first, like youre both describing your lives when.. it happens

- youre both just aimlessly chatting, both tuning in and out of conversation waiting for the food to come when.. you hear it. the thing that you did that you thought NOBODY else did. and he does it.

- “and one of my roommates tsumu always yells at me because i collect stamps-” “WAIT YOU COLLECT STAMPS?? ME TOO BRUH”

- youd both have a joint aneurysm literally

- after that youd be infatuated with eachother ITD BE SO CUTE

- youd get the bill both like a lil tipsy, heading further into the town to just go window shopping in the moonlight

- UWUWUWUWUWUWU pls

- then hed accidentally set off the jewellery shop alarm pointing at a pretty ring and poking the glass too hard-

- when your taxi came he’d be really sad.. then as you close the door hed just jump in and find his own way home HAHAHA

- 10/10 date would do again.. and you did

atsumu miya

- oh you would be EXCITED

- until you found out his suggestion.. one of his own fucking games

- you just cut it down to the fact that he was a personal volleyball player, he was probably busy, yk?? but no it was because he wanted to show off to you🙄🙄

- you met him on the street like he literally picked you up on the street.. only he yall only he

- well of course you liked him have you seen him

- you exchanged numbers and were texting for like a week ( where he just begged you to come to a game ) before finally you said ok

- because its a date you didnt wanna bring along someone else so you just kinda showed up on your own and followed the crowd.. before finding out you were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE COURT

- he teased you about this for years to come and you wanted to burst out crying every time

- after finally finding the right seat on the RIGHT SIDE, the players came out and.. lets say you were surprised

- you didnt know that much about volleyball beforehand but.. d a m n

- those uniforms were hot😳😳

- the game went well and they won ( to his extreme happiness ), and then you finally got to meet him again

- it was subtle at first, like while he was signing shirts hed look over his shoulder and wink or something lmao

- thats until hinata and bokuto got to the area you were at and went feral, killing tsumus whole vibe HAHA

- “OH SHIT THATS THE GIRL HE INVITED!!” “WAIT IS IT- OH HI Y/N!! HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR AGES HE EVEN JE-” “BRO FUCK OFF”

- to which you just laughed your head off about

- bro he gave you a kiss on the cheek when he walked over making all the fangirls go absolutely feral.. twitter talked abt it for AGES even after you revealed you were dating 2 months after it happened

- you had to wait around for HOURS whilst he talked to interviewers.. struggles of being famous🥶‼🔥

- but it was worth it ofc

- he took you out to this lil restaurant when he finally got away and even walked u home.. such a gentleman damn

- “so when can i see you again.. and maybe a bit more ;)” “sHUT UP-”

- lets just say u definitely did that again-

shoyo hinata

- oh my god hed be more nervous than you were

- hed overdress like.. not full suit but pretty damn close

- i feel like hed not be that focused on women?? the volleyball grind comes first yk

- but when he made eye contact w you across the meeting table.. jeez he went feral

- bro when he was asked a question he couldn’t function you were just like ??

- atsumu basically had to ask you out for him after it finished he was so nervous HAHA

- you called him cute when he pulled up and he genuinely turned into a tomato like.. ushijima would farm him if he saw him

- hed book you a table at this really fancy restaurant ( with a lil financial help from kenma ) and you were genuinely shocked lmao

- i feel like youd work with the jackals as like a promoter or sumn and hed just be shocked.. like he didnt know you even existed bruh??

- because of that hed be pretending hed had his eye on you for a while ( to which you just laughed knowing he was trying to be cool )

- hed tell you to order something expensive but you knew how much those guys got paid.. yeah no.

- but hed warm up MASSIVELY like by the end of it after a glass and a bit of wine youd both be like peas in a pod literally

- youd go for a lil walk around the city centre before u found a taxi.. HED BE SO SAD LIKE HE DIDNT WANT IT TO END??

- hed go in for the kiss i know he would

- youd be like ??? but kiss him back bc why wouldnt u hes a baby

- best date you’d had in a couple years by far

kiyoomi sakusa

- you literally wouldnt realise it was a date until the end i stg this man

- hed deadass show up to ur door and be like ‘cmon’ and youd be like EXCUSE ME SIR-

- i feel like you wouldve known eachother for at LEAST a couple months

- and he wouldve just done NOTHING like you didnt even know he felt a romantic connection to you

- but trust me he did

- he just didnt know the words to say :(

- but this is what the lads told him to do LMAO

- before u knew what was happening you were in the backseat of a taxi and he was telling them a street in the middle of the city-

- “oh we’re going out to dinner” “wha- i didnt bring my purse tho-” “eh.” literally

- you were kinda surprised because you knew how much he hated crowds and dinner in the city seemed unlike him, more like something you would enjoy

- but thats exactly why he did it

- youd pull up and do a double take when he was asking for a table.. WHO THE FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT

- however after being motioned to shut up by atsumu you acted like you saw nothing

- it was just like the other times youd hung out but he was a little more.. interested in you

- not like suggestive, he just genuinely was asking about like how your day was, etc IT WAS CUTE AS HELL

- it was at that point you realised oh shit, this might be a date-

- when it was over you suggested going into the city and looking in shops for a bit, but the restaurant filled with people was enough for him lmao

- you got a taxi back and were standing outside your apartment door when he did something hed never done before

- MANS HUGGED YOU

- it was then you realised.. did he actually like you??

- spoiler he did

- and things were different between you ever since IM UWUING PLS

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argumentl · 4 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 1 - Haruna Fuuka files lawsuit against internet slanderers

*with Kaoru (K), Joe (J), Tasai (T) , who is a journalist writing for the newspaper Tokyo Sports, and Kami/god.*

Kaoru: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru. Have you heard of 'The Freedom of Expression' somewhere before?

Joe, Tasai : *noding*

K: I've a feeling we've done this before...

J: Thats right, yes...Its not a feeling, we actually did.

K: We are reviving the show we did on the radio station InterFM from 2015-16, on youtube this time.

J: Awesome

*applause*

J: I was really happy when I was first told about the revival.

K: I was also surprised *laughs*

J: Its not that you were made to revive the show though, right Kaoru?

K: The suggestion just came at me.

J: Oh really, like 'How about it?'

K: Like, 'Wanna tryy?' 1*

J: Ah, in a Kansai accent?

K:Yes yes

J: Like, 'Lets tryyy'..kind of thing...it started like that *laughs*

K: Yep

J: We did quite a lot (on InterFM). We even did a special edition

K, T : Yes, we did

J: We even made stickers

K: Brazil!

J:Yes

T: Ah, the live broadcast..at the Olympics

J: It was Dobashi san...Bishbash Dobashi san.

T: It would be good if we could do another live broadcast at this year's Tokyo Olympics.

J: On this You tube channel?

T: Yes *laughs*

J: A live broadcast might be a bit difficult legally, as for the Olymipcs *T laughs*

K: Um, thats *shhh*

J: Oh, its a secret!' *K laughing* Maybe if were are asked by Tokyo Sports..?

K: Yes yes...So, as to the freedom of expression...

Kami/god: Wait, wait, wait..I've come down too.

J: Oh, Kami?

K: He's saying it from himself *laughs*..I thought he would come if we beckoned him though.

J: Thats what usually happened. He was the kind of god that would come down after we called him, but now a god that comes down on his own accord.

K: Wasn't he like that before too? Should we keep him in reseve a bit more?

J: He'll want to appear, we can't help it?

Kami: You were forgetting about me!

K: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: You musn't forget your god!

*laughing*

T: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: Its not good!

J: You are always in our hearts.

T: Yes, he is.

Kami: Yes, thats it..you have to think like that.

J: But, you are not in the studio today, kami?

Kami: Oh..um, im just getting off a night shift..

J: A night shift?!

K: Ah, but it was like that before..

Kami: Right.

J: You are doing night shift work again? *Tasai laughs*

Kami: yes, thats right.

K: That was a while ago wasn't it, how many years ago?

J: Oh, is this the night shift season?

Kami: No, its..

T: You worked for ￥1000 per hour right?

Kami: Yes, yes...my hourly rate has risen a bit though. They were telling me 'Take a rest, take a rest', so my income dropped.

J: Ahh, its what they called a 'reformed working style', right?

Kami: Right

J: Its tough for you too, Kami.

Kami: *laughs* Yes it is.

K: He's the same as ever... so lets get started.

J, T: Please

K: Ah, by the way, Tasai san, as well as Bishbashi Dohashi san, wasn't there another person before (at InterFM)?

T: Yes..a beastly guy *K laughs* An old aquaintance of the listeners', a guy called Monster Hiranabe.

J: Its a strange story, but once when a certain celebrity died, Hiranabe-san called me up, and asked me if I had known the deceased guy...as soon as I said that I hadn't known him very well, he hung up on me straight away!

T: Thats awful!

J: He is awful

T: This very guy, Hiranabe, even got a promotion from the manager.

J: Eh? Promoted to what?!

T: To Director

J:Eh?! Really?

K: Is that okay??

J: No, it'll be terrible!

K: Right, lets move onto the main news...I'd like to get deeper into the concept of 'The Freedom of Expression'.

J: Right, so Haruna Fuuka has filed a lawsuit againts those who engage in 'internet slander'.

A tweet stated 'Both her parents created a failure'.

On Jan 14th, 18 year old Haruna and her mother filed a lawsuit at Yokohama district court demanding ￥2,654,000 in damages from a person engaged in spreading falsehoods which have damaged her dignity.

On the acknowledgement that these tweets went beyond what was deemed acceptable by society at large, on Nov 1st the internet provider was ordered to make public the persons name and address etc.

Haruna has been tweeting since the age of 9, giving her opinion at random about society's problems, and creating a stir. She now has over 200,000 followers and is fighting 10 years of slander. Kaoru, what do you think about this?

K: Well..I mean, naturally, you'd feel like that..

J: Hmm, but I don't know the details but..the name of the defendant has been withheld...well, its a common problem that as a person speaking in the public eye, you are going to get criticism along with praise...like a 'fame tax'. That said, how far do you go before honour is damaged? On SNS, you are of course free to express yourself, you can write what you want, but the issue is what constitutes damage to honour. This might be a very difficult area in which to draw a legal line, but on the other hand, if you don't draw a legal line, things may escalate out of control...Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Well for example, if banter between friends is written down...controlling that...Its best not to look at whats written in the first place.

J: Ah, the person in question right? By the way Kaoru, its a strange question, but do you search for yourself online?

K: No, not really. I hear things, the office staff will tell me.

J: Oh, if anything is being said?

T: In the world of fame its quite true, that even if 98 or 99 opinions out of 100 are good, the one negative thing will stand out.

K: Well, yes, its the bad things that..

J: On the other hand, from the writers' perspective at Tokyo Sports, how far are you willing to slander someone? You could write an article in a good or bad way..

T: Of course balance is important, but of course, if the courts want to complain to us, they can call us, and start an exchange, but in the case of slanders on the internet, its like, who do you complain to? So, if you ask celebrities, they will say Tokyo Sports slander is better than anonymous online slander because at least they can complain to our face.

J: Mm, absolutely. Just how far do we protect these tweets, these freedoms of expression? Its difficult.

K: Are these really 'expressions'?

J: Well, esentially, yes. When you say 'tweets' you think of nonsense, but really its media expressing things, or artists expressing things..

K: Yes, yes, you can get a sense of individual expression.

J: And this especially has the power to influence...

K: Yes, and people get swept up in it.

J: I think this is universal, but at the moment I think Japan is bit like a geyser, people will rush towards any incident and some will start complaining, I mean, I think its important to say what you feel, but its complaining without trying to solve anything, only satisfying yourself.

K: Thats it

J: Its sounds strange to say, but it ends like masturbation. If it turns into something towards a soloution its ok, but just creating thoughtless slander to satisfy yourself is questionable.

K: So its often said, if you continue the conversation only looking at the bad things, it can't be helped. There are also good people out there..you know, put more importance on those people. How to put it...its like we said before, if you focus too much on that one out of a hundred, its kind of rude to the other 99.

J: I see. Still this person has over 200,000 followers and its said she has been fighting slander for ten years.

T: She's always been a bit of a talking point online. I'll just search for her.

J: I also have Instagram, I do stuff to do with societal problems on The Dave Fromm show's youtube channel, and whenever I upload about it (on IG), my followers decrease! *everyone laughs* Outrageously decrease! Im serious, despite getting so far, that channel updates every week, and with every update my followers decrease. Maybe people hate reading about societal problems..*to Tasai* What did you find?

T: So for example there was that thing recently about regulating gamers to 60mins per session, she had quite a few things to say about that, playing vs learning etc.

J: I see..Young people do complain, well you can't really tell here, but on the other hand, young people these days, i know they would hate us old guys talking about this, but young people apparently have three main taboos. The first is talking about sex, they dont follow this, the second is politics, they don't follow this either, and the other one is, they don't like being made to talk about the kind of things that they really need to be talking about...there seems to be this kind of trend. So i think in this way...theres a chance Haruna is getting right to the point of this. But certainly, applying the law in a way that recognises infringement/damage to honour by way of personal utterances has the potential to lead to restrictions on the freedom of expression. Its a difficult play off, isnt it?

T: Yes, it really is

J: Obviously, when it comes to race, or racial discrimination, there has come to be rules concerning hate speech and so on, but how far can you regulate one-to-one slandering, or..how far can you protect the person being attacked? Should the country or the judiciary decide this? Its difficult.

K: Kami, what do you think? Are you there?

Kami: Well, I hear slanders towards me all the time *everyone laughs* Like, god tells lies, god is useless, or even that there is no such thing as god!

J: Ahh, i see. They deny you!

Kami: Yes, thats it. If I care about those things, I lose!

J: Do you search for yourself online?

Kami: I do. *everyone laughs* ..and whenever I do its only ever those things that come up.

J: Ah of course...Kami, you have an exceptionally good handle on social media dont you?

T: He's great

Kami: Ive got a good handle on it.

J: Do you use an iphone?

Kami: I have two.

J: God has two iphones! Thats brilliant.

Kami: Yep, I have two...im not allowed to use them while im working.

T: Does he have a contract? With his address and such?

J: I can't tell whether he's great, or whether he's not so great...

Kami: If i care, I lose...I prefer them to hate me, rather than to be indifferent to me.

K: Kami, what do you think about playing computer games for one hour?

Kami: If the kid is good at it, they should keep doing it.

T: I see, i see.

J: Ohh not sure about that. That seems a bit out.

Kami: No, i really think so. Skilled kids can carry on playing.

K: Should unskilled ones give up?

Kami: Yes, they shouldn't do it...When they play all day, and they just can't clear the level..that kind of kid.

K: Its a waste of time right?

Kami: Exactly, its a waste.

J: They should do something else?

Kami: Yes

K: You should quit if you have no talent for it?

Kami: Yes, yes, its talent.

J: Well, just getting off a nightshift must be tiring.

K: For us too, you know, we should try not to say 'stop it' too quickly...we have to keep it interesting.

Kami: It was interesting though, I was listening.

T: Oh thank you.

Kami: But don't tell lies about me.

T: If you thought it was interesting, you should write about it on your social media.

Kami: Yeh, everyone pretends on social media anyway, they won't know its me.

K: Well, that was the first episode of 'The Freedom of Expression' but, should I ask how it was..? *laughs*

J: But, being together again after a while was refreshing..

K,T: Yes, thats right

T: Im happy.

J: So am I.

K: Well, so we started in this vein....Tune in next time to see how it goes. So this time, only this camera, theres nothing here *gestures behind*, but if lots of people watch, we could go different places, increase our cameras. I still don't know about your fee, Joe.

J: Eh?! What do you mean? It says here my fee will stay the same!

K: I might have to lower it *laughs*

J: *coughs* You're only lowering mine?...But everyone please subscribe.

K: Yes please. Please look forward to next time. Thank you very much.

1* They are saying 'How about this?' in a Kansai accent, how to translate that??

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #kaoru #薫 #tfoe #tfoe01

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storm-witchy · 4 years

Text

Silk and stars

Dongheon x fem! Reader

Prom au! Non-idol

Warnings: cussing, drama, a bit of sexual harassment, some fluff

Word count: honestly not 100% sure but probably around 5k

I don't own the picture

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lights...

That is the first thing I noticed, there were so many hung from all over, they took midnight fairytale to another level.

Next was the bad music, my date and I were early so they were still trying to get the party going.

Speaking of prom dates, mine is a friend from class, Marius. We agreed to go as friends since his last girlfriend broke up with him a week before prom and I was never interested in going until my mom made me go. "Make some memories, you'll only have one senior prom!" She says.

"Y/n you look beautiful tonight." Marius interrupted my thoughts with a flirty look on his face.

"Thanks, you've only said that twice on the way here." I retort trying to remind him that this was just platonic.

"I know, but it should be said many times or you won't believe it."

I roll my eyes, "I don't think I need to be told many times to get the point, but thank you." I replied flatly.

Slowly people started filling in and the music got better little by little. I was in the crowd of people dancing, lost in the music when Marius grabbed me by the waist. He seemed to have drank the spiked punch. That little prank was done by Ben, the class clown, who was bragging about it to his friends.

Marius began to whisperin my ear, "Wow y/n, you look great. I'd love to-"

"Y/n! There you are I've been looking for you." My friend Julia ran up to us, "you know dongheon is waiting on the side lines for someone to dance with."

"Y/n is dancing with me though." Marius cut in.

"Oh I wanted to dance with you." Julia replied pushing me away towards dongheon. Remind me to thank her later.

I adjusted my blue silk gown and straightened up my hair as I weaved through the people, don't wanna look a wreck when I speak to him. I sat in the chair next to him, which surprised him seeing as he jumped and stared at me as if I had a horn growing out of my head.

"Uh hey, sorry if I scared you." I quickly said.

"No, no. I'm fine, I just didn't expect you to sit with me, and I was zoned out." He said with a chuckle.

"Eh, I thought that maybe I should sit down for a bit and you looked like you could use the company."

"Why aren't you with Marius, you are dating after all."

"What? Who said we were dating?"

"Marius said he broke up with Danny for you."

"I never agreed to date him he and I came as friends. I guess he took us coming together as us dating. I assure you I have no interest in him." I said defeated, I actually had a crush on dongheon, not that I'd tell him willingly now.

"Oh well, if thats the case, you might need a dance to take your mind off it." He says holding his hand out as a the song 'Bleeding Love' comes on.

We weave through the crowd and I wrap my arms around his neck as he lightly puts his hands on my waist. We danced through the song quietly talking to each other about how we ended up at prom in the first place.

When the song ended we went back to our table and talked for the next two hours. After that people started leaving to go to various after parties.

Oh no. I just spotted Marius and he doesn't look happy.

"Y/n how dare you embarrass me by dancing with this dork, you must be the biggest whore in the school." Marius bellowed, turning redder than a tomato.

"Don't talk to her like that... Why don't you tell everyone how you lied about dating y/n, huh." Dongheon yelled back standing in front of me to protect me.

Marius stood pale and gaping. The room had gone quiet watch the scene, even the dj wanted to get in on the drama. The only person making any sound was ben who was giggling and recording everything for snapchat. I don't doubt that everyone will know the truth by morning.

"Don't ever speak to me or about me again, I don't need a lying asshole in my life." I yelled, dragging dongheon out with me.

As we reached the night air I breathed heavily. It was better out here than in that stuffy, smelly, gym. I felt something grab my hand, it was dongheon.

"Hey, if you don't have a ride, I can take you home." He offered.

I nodded as we began walking to his car. Once we were inside we began talking about our interests and hobbies. My feelings grow more and more with every detail. When we parked outside my house he walked me to the door.

"Thank you for tonight. You made a bad situation wonderful. We should hang out more." I stated with a smile.

"Definitely, how about tomorrow I take you to a Cafe i like."

"Yea sounds good." I replied before we fell into a comfortable silence.

I'd just turned to go in when dongheon turned me around and quickly kissed me. It was the kind ok kiss that I thought only happened in dramas. It wasn't fireworks like people described but more like the kind of rush you get when you ride a roller coaster.

When he pulled away he smiled, waved, and went back to his car.

After I got out of my dress and took off my makeup, I fell backwards onto my bed and smiled at the ceiling. For the silly little crush grew into something more all while wrapped in silk and stars.

#dongheon #verivery #verivery dongheon #prom au #verivery fluff

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 5 years

Text

Betty//...you

Request: Do you write for Betty? If so can i request a reader/betty where you do the same thing with your nails that she does, you both end up comforting each other/helping each other through it?

Monday morning, first period. English with Mr Johnson meaning we’ll be reading some of Romeo and Juliet and then answering some questions about it. Hopefully I’ll be left alone. Hopefully Mr Johnson will be hungover from the previous night of drunken marking so he’ll leave us all alone to sit and read in silence.

I’m one of the first people to arrive which means my usual seat at the back is free. I take the books that I need from my bag, as well as a pen before sitting down and looking at the clock. Soon people begin to file into the room and it starts to fill up. Betty Copper sits beside me and she gives me a warm smile before getting her stuff out.

“Did you have a nice weekend?” She asks and I nod, giving her a polite smile.

“You?” I ask and she nods.

“Yeah. Me and Archie hung out on Friday and then on Saturday me and Ronnie went shopping. But Sunday I just stayed in and did homework, caught up on some TV shows that I’d missed during the week.” She explains and her eyes shine as she talks. I smile and nod along, however I can’t hear anything. I’m too distracted at the way her hands move when she’s excited about something, and the way her smile grows the more she talks.

Betty Copper is one of the few people outside of my friendship group that I actually enjoy talking too. We share the majority of classes and she only lives a few doors down from me so we occasionally see each other around.

I also happen to be in love with her. I don’t know when it happened or how, but somehow, slowly but surely, I fell for her. And I fell hard. So hard that whenever she smiles at me I feel the air being knocked from my lungs and if she talks to me, I’m a stuttering, blushing mess.

“Miss Cooper, Miss Y/l/n?” Mr Johnson’s loud voice interrupts my train of thought and my eyes widen as the two of us look at him. “Care to share with the class what you thought was so important that you had to interrupt and talk over me?” He says and I feel my mouth go dry as the entirely of the class is staring at me. The two of us shake our heads and I can hear the quiet laughter from a few of the bitchier classmates. “Good.” He says before moving on with the class. I sink in the uncomfortable plastic chairs and my face goes bright red. “For the interruption you can start the reading off Miss Y//l/n.” He says with a sly smile and I feel like I’m gonna faint.

“I-er, I.” I stutter and he looks at me bored.

“We haven’t got all day.” He sighs and my nails dig into palms.

“I’ll do it.” Betty says quickly and I stare at her confused. “I was technically the one talking to her, she didn’t really say much.”

“Whatever.” He says and waves his arm for her to start.

“Thank you.” I whisper and she nods in response before staring to read the chapter. My face is still burning but now its not only due to Mr Johnson. I can feel myself falling for her harder, if thats even possible and I steal glances at her as she reads to the class. Her eyes darting across the page as she speaks, her voice as sweet as honey and I can tell that’s she’s probably already read this. She could make any piece of literature sound exciting and I would happily sit and listen to her read every single piece.

-----

Thursday afternoon, lunchtime. I stand at my locker, having just eaten lunch when there’s shouting coming from down the corridor. My finger nails instantly dig into my palm and I squeeze my eyes shut, however Betty’s voice makes me snap my eyes back open.

“What the hell?” Betty’s usually sweet voice has an edge to it. Its not how she normally speaks, like she’s literal sunshine. She’s angry at someone. “Again, what the hell?!” She shouts louder. She’s stood in front of Cheryl, both of their arms are crossed and I furrow my eyebrows at the sight.

“Betty, why are you so mad. It was only a matter of time before people found out. Plus we’re living in the 21st century, get over it.” She says bored.

“I’m mad because it’s not your choice when I’m ready! I haven’t told my mom yet! I told Veronica that in private, when I didn’t think anyone else was around and listening. Now the whole school knows and believe it or not, not a lot of people are that accepting, especially here in Riverdale!” She shouts, her voice wobbling and I can tell she’s close to tears. My heart breaks at the thought of her being upset and I make my way towards her. Nobody else seems to be doing anything. I slowly walk towards her as she continues to shout at Cheryl. Her arms drop by hers sides at one point and I see her press her fingernails into her palms, the same way that I do and my heart breaks even more.

“Betty?” My voice is unsure as I place a hand on her shoulder and she turns around quickly. Cheryl smirks at the two of us before walking past, shoving Betty slightly. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay!?” She asks annoyed and I move back a bit, dropping my head to look at the floor. The nails on my free hand dig into my palm again when I notice everyone is still staring, however I push the fear away.

“Come on, lets go find Veronica or someone.” I say, guiding her away from the busy corridor. “Here.” I say and hand her a tissue. “Don’t worry, its clean, its just been in my bag.” I say and she takes it, giving me a grateful nod before wiping her tears. “Whatever’s Cheryl said will be forgotten about by tomorrow. She’ll have something else to talk about.”

“I don’t think so.” She sighs. “What she heard was pretty big.”

“Well then she’ll be taking about it for at most a week then.” I nudge her shoulder softly and she giggles. I did that!! My mind goes crazy at the fact that I made her laugh. But then I’m brought back to reality by her talking again, the sad tone in her voice bringing me back to the ground.

“I hope so.” She sighs. “My mom’s gonna kill me if she finds out.”

“I’m sure she won’t. Your mom is awesome.” I try to reassure her.

“Yeah, but she’ll be mad I didn’t tell her.” She sighs.

“She might be, but whatever it is, she’ll understand that you weren’t ready to tell her.” I say and she shrugs.

“I suppose so.”

“My mom was the same. When I told my dad I liked girls she was pissed because I didn’t tell her first, but when I explained to her that I found it easier telling my dad first she was fine. She said she still loved me and that she understood.” I explain and she stares at me wide-eyed, stopping in the middle of the corridor. “What?”

“You like girls?” She asks and my cheeks heat up.

“Oh...yeah.” I laugh nervously. “You’re the only other person I’ve told apart from my parents.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” She reassures me and I smile gratefully.

“Thanks.”

“No worries.” She shrugs and we start walking again. “Hey Y/n?” She asks and I nod my head. “I’m ga-”

“Oh my god, Betty! Are you okay?” Veronica shouts and she sprints down the corridor. Betty nods and I move to the side so Veronica can hug her friend.

“I’ll see you around Betty.” I say and wave awkwardly before walking away. Veronica sends Betty a teasing glance as I walk away, however I miss it and Betty rolls her eyes.

------

Friday night, 7:03pm.

Sitting at Pop’s is not what I usually do on a Friday night, well not alone. But my other friends have gone to a party and I would rather stick forks in my eyes then go. My nails would go through my palm if I went to a high school party, so Pop’s it is.

“You should really stop doing that with your nails” A familiar voice says and my gaze drifts from my drink to the girl stood in front of me. Betty’s smiling down at me, a milkshake in hand as she looks at the seat opposite me.

“You’re one to talk.” I reply and un-clench my hand.

“I suppose so.” She laughs and sits opposite me. “I can sit here right?” She asks and I nod.

“My mom says that whenever I feel like doing the nail thing, I should think about something/someone that makes me feel calm.” I say and she thinks about it for a moment. “I know it sounds stupid but it works for me the majority of the time.” I add.

“Yeah, I get that.”

“The only time it doesn’t work is when I’m really anxious.”

“Well, I’ll try it anyway. What do you think of?” She asks and I pause.

You...“The rain.” I say and she nods, while she thinks.

“Yeah, I can see that working. I’d probably think of puppies or something else cute.” She says and I laugh, the two of us make eye contact for a few seconds before I look away.

“How long have you been doing it for?” I ask.

“For as long as I can remember really.” She sighs. “You?”

“Since I was about 9, I think. I used to make myself bleed when I was younger because I didn’t really notice how hard I was doing it. I still sometimes do, but thats only when its really bad, or if I’ve got my eyes closed at the same time...” I trail off and she nods.

“Yeah...same. I think I’ve probably got scars.” She says and holds her palm out in front of her. I do the same and she looks at my hand, her fingers softly graze the small white scars and my heart rate quickens. “We’ll be okay.” She says and quickly takes her hand away. “I promise.” She says, sending me a bright smile and for the first time in my entire life, I actually believe that. “Why are you here all alone?” She asks and I shrug.

“Parties aren’t really my thing.” I reply and she nods. “What about you? I assumed you would have been at the party.”

“Eh.” She shrugs. “I’m trying to lay low for a while after what Cheryl said.

“I get that.” I nod my head in agreement and take a sip of my drink. She smiles at me and my heart momentarily stops. As soon as she looks back up at me, I can’t hold back a giggle and she quirks an eyebrow at me.

“What?” She asks.

“You have a bit of cream on your nose.” I say and she blushes lightly before wiping it away.

“Oh.” She laughs and I smile at her.

“So, what are your plans for the weekend?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Probably shopping again tomorrow. V wants a new dress for a family party next weekend.” She replies and I nod. “You can err, you can come with us if you want?” She asks hesitantly and I look at her surprised.

“Seriously?” I ask and she nods shyly.

“If you want, yeah.”

“Yeah!” I say, maybe a bit more enthusiastically than I intend to, but she doesn’t seem put off, she seems pleased. “I’d love to!”

“Great, I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Around 11?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah! Great, I’m looking forward to it!” I say and she smiles. A comfortable silence settles around us before I start to speak again. “Did you tell your mom the thing that you were worried about?”

“Errr.” She says and suddenly the atmosphere changes.

“Sorry.” I say quickly. “I shouldn’t have asked, its none of my business. Sorry.” I apologize and she shakes her head, grabbing my hand gently in hers. We make eye contact for a split second before I look at the table.

“I did talk to her about it. She was a bit confused at first but she understands why I didn’t tell her straight away and now I think we’re closer than we’ve ever been.” She explains.

“Good ol’ Mrs Copper.” I tease and she laughs.

“Exactly.” She replies and the two of us laugh. “It was kind of weird at first though. I mean I’d only ever told one other person and that was Veronica so saying it out loud to my mom made it real in a weird way. Especially when she asked me if there was anyone that I liked and I said yes.” She rambles and I look at her confused. I stare at her for a few seconds as she talks, the sweet feeling that I usually have when she talks is being soured by the thought that she likes someone, and also by the fact that I’m confused as hell.

“Im sorry.” I interrupt. “What exactly are you talking about?”

“Oh right.” She laughs. “I gave you no context. I always do that, my mom tells me its one of my worst habits, well that and the nail thing.” She says making me smile. “The thing that Cheryl overheard was me telling Veronica that I liked girls.” She said, making me choke on my drink.

“Wha-oh. Okay.” I nod and she hides a giggle. “I’m glad she was accepting.”

“Me too!” She replies with a bright smile. “I told Veronica that I liked a girl and thats how Cheryl found out.” She continues and my face drops, however, I quickly try and recover, forcing a smile on my face.

“Oh.” I say awkwardly. “Who is it? Do I know them?”

“Are you saying all gay girls know each other?” She asks in a teasing voice making me laugh.

“Yes.” I nod and she shrugs.

“Yeah, true. In this case you do know her.”

“Oh.” I say, unsure of what to say next. “Who is it?”

“...you.” She says, her voice barely above a whisper, but I heard it and my heart stops. My mouth goes dry again like in Mr Johnson’s class, but this time its for all the right reasons.

“Me?” I ask and she nods slowly, she’s staring at me trying to figure out my reaction. “I, err, I. Wow.” I breathe and she looks at me confused. “I like you too.” I admit. “Have done for a while.” I add and the hesitant look is replaced with a bright smile.

“Okay.” She says, unsure of what to say next. “Would you maybe like to be my girlfriend? Or we can just go on a date if you want.”

“Yes.”

“Yes to what? Girlfriend or date?” She asks confused and I giggle.

“Girlfriend.” I say. “If thats what you want.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” She says and leans in slowly. I meet her half way until her lips are on mine. They’re soft and gentle and there’s a hint of strawberry from the milkshake. She kisses me slowly, savoring every moment until she pulls away, breathlessly and we giggle at each other. “Having you by my side isn’t going to fix all of my problems, but it’s certainly gonna help. Especially if you’re holding my hand.”

#betty cooper #betty cooper imagine #betty cooper x reader #betty cooper x you #betty cooper x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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twislife · 5 years

Text

Closer.

Hey guys! I know its been a long time since I've written anything but this is based on the song Closer by Chainsmokers and Halsey. I've been working on this forever. Not sure if anyone even likes smut still...or this song...or me 😅 had to post it though so that I could stop thinking about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lots of smut, cussing, unprotected sex...ya get the idea.

"Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you; drank too much and that's an issue but I'm okay.

Hey, please tell your friends it was nice to meet them - but I hope I never see them again.

Hey, I know it broke your heart, moved to the city in a broke down car and four years no call..."

My best friend followed the group of girls inside and turned around looking at me briefly, mouthing ‘I’m sorry!’.

“No, go have fun! I'll…sit…out here..on this…curb,” I said rolling my eyes at the bouncer that refused my entry. She turned and went inside, without another backward glance. I sighed heavily and pulled my phone and cigarettes out of my purse and searched for a lighter.

“Son of a mother fu-” I started, but was abruptly cut off by a guy that I’d never seen before. The first thing I noticed, aside from his perfect smile, were his dark amber eyes shining in the street light. He looked young, and kind of like a god. He held up a lighter and chuckled.

“Sick of the club scene?” he asked, offering me the flame of his lighter. I gladly accepted and inhaled deeply. I huffed and chuckled.

“Yeah maybe if I could actually get in, my fake id is missing.” I sighed dramatically, taking another long drag.

"Oh, shit. Rough night. Well,“ he began, taking a drag of his own smoke.

“I know of a little place around the corner that doesn’t id. Its a tiny little crap hole - but they don’t id.” he said nervously, his group of friends disappearing in the dark Tucson night. I smiled at him, then looked down at my little black dress and the mile high pumps and finally stood up smiling.

"A little over dressed for a dive bar, but a drink sounds great.“ I told him, gesturing him to lead the way. He laughed turning on his heel, holding out his elbow. I placed my arm in his and began walking.

“I’m Dylan. I enjoy star wars and YouTube.” he said laughing.

“My friends call me y/n. l, too, enjoy nerding out to star wars, and long walks on the beach.” I replied, receiving the slight chuckle that I had aimed for. It was so attractive. During our walk I found out a lot about Dylan, he was definitely a talker. We talked about plans for the future; he said that he wanted to go into acting, wanted to move to the city. When he asked me what I wanted to do I didn’t really have a valid answer, so I said,

"Eh, probably college. I’ve been accepted to a few, I really am thinking Naropa, it’s a college in Boulder. I want to see the mountains.“ I hadn’t even realized that was what I wanted.

"That’s awesome.” he replied, smiling that smile that practically made me melt.

“No, acting is awesome! I wish I had that talent, man” I said in awe.

We talked and laughed the rest of the way to the bar elbow in elbow. When we got to there he went up to the bar while I made my way to the jukebox; avoiding the stares from the old men and a few miserable looking women. Music always becomes before drinks. Always. Always. Come on let me touch you, feel you, all night- always.

I looked around the bar, no one looked particularly interested in what was playing in the background of their conversations, I excitedly turned back to the new school touch screen jukebox; typing in “always,” by Blink 182. If I didn’t listen to it, it would be stuck in my head for days. Dylan crept up behind me holding a beer up.

"I knew you weren’t a typical party girl.“ he let out a low chuckle.

"What do you mean?” I asked him; accepting the drink, and taking a gulp.

"Blink? Not many typical party girls would go to a dive bar and play Blink." he said taking a drink of his beer and setting it down to air drum part of the song. How is this unbelievably attractive guy such a dork? I mean, I wasn’t complaining because apparently thats my weakness. I started to play some air guitar and sing along. When the song ended I grabbed my drink and started downing it, I finished it at about the same time he did, so I offered to grab him a refill too. He gratefully accepted my offer and I started walking to the front when all of a sudden I heard the beginning to the Blink song, the one that I just played, I turned to look at him and see if maybe he did it by accident but he was, once again, air drumming and singing.

“I screwed up on the one solo, so I had to play it again” He laughed as I approached him and handed him his drink. I giggled. I started really liking this guy and I already knew that I wanted to take this out of this little crappy bar, but I would be patient and wait. I watched as he attempted to perfect his solo and laughed when he stopped and said he screwed it up again. So, I took out another dollar and played it - again.

After many more drinks and a few more rounds of “always” by blink 182, Dylan’s face had just gotten undeniably close to my own and I was very aware of the drinks that we had both just had. It may have been the buzz, but I swear to god he was about to kiss me when my phone started blaring: it was Hanah, the one who left me on the damn curb. Dylan looked down at his empty bottle and grabbed mine and signaled that he was going to grab more as I answered my phone.

“Heeeelllllooooo?” I answered drunkenly.

"Hey! Clubs dead, where’d ya go?“ she asked slurring her words.

"I-uh-” I began to reply as Dylan walked over and handed me my beer. His face dropped when I began telling her where I was.

“Okay, yay! Be there in ten!” she practically yelled. I hung up the phone and looked at him.

"Um…yeah my friends are on their way…" I told him taking a drink.

“Well, I gathered that much” he replied a snarkily, throwing in a wink so that I knew he wasnt really being a dickhead.

“You might like them..” I answered reading the expression on his face. He lifted an eyebrow but didn’t reply. I rolled my eyes at him and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ before taking another swig.

"This is the friend who ditched you? Sorry, but your friend sounds like a bitch.“ he stated blatantly. I laughed nearly spitting out the beer that I had just taken a drink of.

“She’s not that bad, it is her birthday…” I told him trying to defend her - even though I knew he was right.

Hanah was a typical party girl. She drank and listened to awful music and was way too high maintenance to keep a guy for long. So she didn’t, she scooted and booted. Not that I was one to talk, I knew exactly where I wanted to end up by the end of this night.

“Okay, well I will put up with them if you come home with me tonight.” he said quickly, almost too quickly for me catch onto what he said. Without even thinking about it I smiled (surely my face was crimson red) and I winked at him.

“Deal.” I promised. I didn’t think he was going to be so straight up about it, but hey, I like it when someone doesn’t beat around the bush.

We both finished our drinks and we went up to the bar together, his hand on my lower back, when a sudden loud bang made us jump. There was laughter and before I knew it Hanah and her group of friends burst through the door.

She was wasted. Not like a little drunk, but falling over her own feet - wasted. Dylan took his hand off my back, as much as I hated the loss of contact, I walked over to her and asked if she was okay.

She had brought a guy but she was too busy staring at Dylan to even pay attention to him.

“Ohmigooood! you are sooooo fucking cute!” she said to him, he rolled his eyes and walked over to me and placed a hand around my waist making me warm all over. I could practically feel his stubble between my legs. Suddenly, desperate to get my hands all over him, I went to Hanah.

“Hanah, Dylan and I were just getting ready to leave,” I firmly stated adding a wink to let her know what was about to happen.

“Ohhh! GET SOME GIRL!” she slurred more loudly than I liked. Dylan’s neck snapped up from his phone and he raised his eyebrows at me and smirked. I could feel my face fill with crimson color as I attempted to keep my cool and look sexy when I smiled back at him.

He walked over to me more confidently than he had been (borderline cocky) and he placed his hand on my hips, making me squirm.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asks in a sexy low tone. Instead of answering and giving away my excitement, I just nodded, maybe a little more eagerly than I had anticipated. I pounded the last drink and at that point had an intense buzz and was ready for some alone time with Dylan.

"Let’s get out of here.” I told him grabbing his hand and pulling him behind me. As soon as we got out of the bar his lips were on mine, my fingers instantly grabbed at his soft brown hair making him moan into the kiss. My tongue met his as we stumbled Drunkenly through the parking lot of the small bar.

“my car is right there” he said pointing to a shabby beaten up old Jeep. He backed me up to it and pressed me against the door, hands slipping under my thighs. He easily lifted me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and could feel his generously sized cock pressed up against my heat through the rough khaki material. I moaned as he pressed hard against my covered core. I pulled away to take a breath, the buzz from the alcohol only made more intense by the lack of oxygen. We were both panting when I hopped down, he whined at the loss of contact but I grabbed him by the shirt, opened a back door and shoved him on the seat. He laid down and I got on top of him, closing the door behind me. I straddled him, connecting our lips again.

“oh god, you’re so hot.“ He said between kisses. I just giggled as I moved my lips from his and attached them to his neck. I left searing, open mouth kisses from his neck to his collar bone. He was practically purring under my touch.

I pushed his shirt up to drag my teeth gently down the patch of hair under his abdomen. I licked and sucked and kissed the skin right above where his pants stopped me. I used my teeth to unbutton his khakis making him groan as I look up at him through my lashes.

“Where have you been all my life?” He whispered as I pulled down his pants and boxers making his erection spring up against his stomach. My eyes widened as I came to face his hardened cock. “I was just asking myself the same thing.” I told him, licking my lips as my panties dampened at the thought of how great it would feel when he pounded into me. I licked a strip up the underside of his cock making him mewl in satisfaction. I swirled my tongue around the swollen, pink tip of his cock, collecting the precum that had gathered there. Finally in one swift motion I put my lips around his cock and began to slowly bob my head up and down.

With the filthy sounds escaping his throat egging me on, I deep throated his cock and hollowed my cheeks. His tip hitting the back of my throat made my eyes water but I picked up the pace, wrapping my hand around what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. His hips bucked up keeping in time with my bobbing head.

"Oh, god that feels so good.” He practically whined. Eyes watering I looked at him through my lashes. He was propped on one elbow, his head hung back but I could just see enough of his face to watch him lick his lips.

I finally slowed my bobbing head to a stop, and let his hardened cock out of my mouth. He sat up quickly, so I got to my knees. He pulled me in for a rough, teeth clashing, passionate kiss. He broke the kiss only for a minute to practically ripping my dress down off of my shoulders. He then moved his lips off mine, and began trailing open mouthed kisses across my jawline and down my neck, he gently bit down on the pressure point sending a shock of pleasure all the way to my core; suddenly I couldnt wait to have him inside me. He caressed the pressure point with his tongue before moving his mouth to my hardened nipples. He kissed them softly, going from one to another; my core beginning to ache with need. While he was kissing and sucking on my hardened peaks, I placed my hand on his cock and stroked him making us both moaning messes. The ache was starting to become unbearable, I rubbed my legs together for some friction, it didnt ease my need. Dylan noticed and laid back down on the seat, pulling me down with him. As our lips attached again, and he slowly slid his hands down my sides, all the way to my ass. He gave it a little squeeze before pulling my dress up, and ripping my panties off of me and throwing the silky material to the floor. He pulled me up higher so I could position myself over top of his dick. I slowly slid down, relieving the ache. He held my hips down to keep himself from slamming into my tight pussy. When I finally adjusted to his generous size I gave him the go ahead. He slowly lifted me up, all the way to the top of his cock then without warning he pulled me down roughly slamming himself inside me, hitting me right where I needed him to. He began slamming deep inside of me, the coil deep within my core tightened so much so it could have burst any minute, making me scream his name.

"Oh my god, Dylan! I'm gonna-" I began, but he stopped as quickly as he had began.

"Not yet, baby." Dylan said, a smile playing on his lips. I looked at him, practically whining with my denied release. He began moving his hips up and down slowly, torturingly slow. My urge to slam myself down on him was almost uncontrolable.

He finally began moving deeper inside of me at a faster pace and I could again feel the coil in my abdomen tighten. Dylans eyes began to roll in the back of his head when I gentely moved his hands from my hips and started to ride his dick full force. I slammed myself into him over and over again until my eyes were rolling too. The only sound inside the cramped jeep were his grunts and my loud moans.

"Oh fuck!" He moaned between gritted teeth. I kept up my pace pushing myself closer and closer to the edge. He began bucking his hips slamming his cock deep within me harder and harder until I could feel his release fill me and I had a mind shattering orgasm that had me seeing white as I screamed his name. He finally slowed, taking deep panting breaths. I was panting too as i pressed my forehead to his. He gave me another long, meaningful kiss before pulling himself out of me.

“That was..that was..." I began, trying to catch my breath.

"Amazing." He finished.

I sat up awkwardly, pulling my dress down. He pulled his pants up and we sat in silence for a minute.

"So...can I get your number?" He asked. I gave it to him, hoping he would call sooner rather than later. I gave him one more kiss before hopping out of the broken down car and returning to the dive bar in search of Hanah and her crew.

He never called, and my heart was broken. I could have really fallen for him, too.

But that - that is just the beginning of my story with Dylan O'Brien.

#dylanobriensmut #dylan o'brien #dylano’briensmut #teenwolfsmut #dylan obrien smut #smut

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boku-no-imagine-this · 6 years

Text

Lemon- Todoroki Shoto x reader

a/n: happy early valentines day! I was supposed to write something fluffy but I was feeling a little sentimental.

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶ = timeskip

The dual haired man opened his door, turning on the lights to his house. He removed his shoes and hung his coat. He proceeded to settle down in his home. Once he was finally in a comfortable state, he sat down, getting the stack of paperwork from his bag. He sighed at the amount of work to be done.

He was a Pro-Hero, one of the best at that, going by the alias known by the nation, Shouto. Immediately after graduating from U.A he, along with most of his other former classmates, went down the road of being pros, even as a pro, paperwork came along with it.

He was content with his job. Saving innocents and people from trouble, being a light to people made him have a purpose. However, everyday, he would always have a void kind of feeling in him.

His dual colored gaze made its way to the side of the table. A framed collage photograph stood there. It was a collaged photograph of two photos. One was him and his family, and the other, beside it, was a picture of the class 1-A on their last day of school as 1st years.

He looked over to where he was in the photo, his expression darkened after laying his eyes on the person right next to him.

A girl grinning. She had h/c hair and her e/c eyes were closed while she smiled.

He forgot how a picture like that would easily be on the back of his mind while when he looked at it, a wave of memories would flood in him.

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

“Todoroki”

The male turned around hearing the call of his name.

There you stood, everyone else had already left the classroom. He was surprised to see you standing there. “Do you need anything L/n?” he asked.

“Sorta? Well i’d just like to apologize” you said, looking the other way and scratching the back of your head.

He raised a brow. “Apologize? I don’t think you’ve anything wrong” he said.

“A few days ago, at the sports festival. I was passing through after my match. At the underpass i accidentally overheard you talking to Midoriya and…. Yeah” you chuckled, admitting.

“Oh. then, it’s alright” he said, about to walk away.

“Wait!” you yelled. He turned around again. This time you were looking at him, both of you facing one another.

“What?” he asked.

“I’d just like to say that i’m glad you’ve now accepted your other power. Your left side. I’m glad Midoriya was able to help you. He’s a really kind friend” You smiled.

“Thank you.” he nodded. “Is that all you have to say?” he asked.

“I want to be your friend”

His brows furrowed in confusion from that. “What?”

“I want to be someone you can talk to.” you said smiling awkwardly.

Todoroki was perplexed by your sudden proposal of friendship. He knew you were kind, in a certain way, and you seemed to have meant it. “Sure.” he agreed.

Your eyes beamed at his response. You bowed, thanking him.

He found you strange. The next day, you both started to talk to one another a lot. He learned things about you and you did about him. You both didn’t expect to get along so quickly in that matter of time, and yet, there you two were.

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

It was already your second year at U.A. you had new classmates and things were different yet still had the same aura. You were currently doing a group project, with Todoroki, Bakugou, and Hagakure. The four of you were sitting together in a table in the cafeteria, much to Bakugou’s dismay.

As the four of you were working on it, you started to space out. Todoroki called out to you. “Y/n”

“Huh? Sorry i was thinking about something else” you apologized.

“Tch. if you’re not even thinking about this, then dont be part of the group, shithead” Bakugou grumbled.

“What were you thinking about L/n? A boy?” Hagakure gushed. You shook your head. “I was just realizing that U.A has 8 “K”s.” You said.

“Huh?”

“Kusai (smelly), kitanai (dirty), kiken (dangerous), Kimyō (strange); kekkou (rather), kanari (quite), kowai (scary), and uh, i forgot what the last one i was thinking about was” you said.

“Eh? Kusai and kitanai?” Hagakure said. “It’s a joke!” you said to her.

“You have a strange sense of humor, Y/n….” Todoroki said.

“I’m trying to think of the last ‘K’…. i kept listing down negative things but there’s something else.” you muttered, trying to think.

“Kuso (shit).” Bakugou grunted.

“Kawaii! (cute)” Hagakure suggested.

“Kirai (Hate)” Bakugou added.

“Bakugou’s right!” you beamed.

“What?”

“Well, half right. It’s Kirai Janai (i don’t hate it)” You smiled.

“Tch. such an airhead” Bakugou mumbled.

“Let’s get back to work, tomorrow’s work studies once again for this year” Todoroki said.

Little did he know, that stupid yet enlightening conversation would be one of the last.

Todoroki was in the streets of Musutafu, with the pro he was doing his work studies with. Suddenly the phone of the pro rang.

“Got it” Endeavor said and placed his phone down. “There’s been a villain attack in the northern part of the city, not too far, we’re called for backup.” he said. Todoroki nodded, following Endeavor as they both ran, the site that was attacked was a pro hero’s agency building.

They arrived at the scene to see a broken building with some parts shattered and on fire. Another pro hero explained that a group of villain had attacked. The fire went out and Todoroki as well as Endeavor and the other pros and police who were there captured the villains.

Todoroki scouted the building for survivors, he had helped out 3 employees in that building. When he helped out another, the male employee had panted and his eyes were widened. “A U.A student- the one that (Favorite Pro) works with- (Hero name)- she was fighting the villains, up there!” the employee shaked, pointing upstairs.

Todoroki’s eyes widened. “This is the ground floor. Endeavor and (Favorite Pro) will come here with the police and tend to you. Please excuse me” he said and ran up.

He frantically looked around the area and spotted he colors of your hero costume, running to you.

You were lying on the ground, eyes shut peacefully. Your costume had a few burn marks and rips, several wounds on your body were visible. He carried your limp body and brought you out to the people who were helping.

You were put on the ambulance who rushed to the hospital. (Favorite Pro) and Endeavor insisted he came with you while they handled everything else.

You were sent to the emergency room, and the doctors did everything they could do. (Favorite Pro) and a few of your friends/classmates who were near the area for their work studies had also arrived.

“Companions of Y/n L/n?” a doctor said.

He and everyone else waiting by stood up. “How is she?” (Favorite Pro) asked.

The doctor sighed, biting his lower lip, and looking at him and everyone else with a serious expression.

“She didn’t make it”

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

At the first year of UA, you were walking to the dorms with Todoroki. “You should get more sleep, L/n. you won’t be able to focus on studies.” he frowned

“Yeah i know. Though, I’ve learned a lot when i was browsing the internet randomly.” You said, looking up at the sky.

This piped his interest, “it interested you a lot to the point that you stayed up until 1?” He inquired and you nodded.

“There are a lot of words in languages that can’t be directly translated. Like ‘Itadakimasu’ in english, there isn’t any direct meaning to it. oh ! my favorite ones are ‘mono no aware’ and ‘Sa-’ uh wait, ‘sa-u-da-de’” You said, trying not to butcher the last word.

“I know what ‘mono no aware’ is. However what’s ‘saudade’?” Todoroki asked.

“It’s portuguese! The internet said it’s melancholic longing or yearning.” you said, and Todoroki nodded. “It reminds me of the word ‘grief’” You added.

“That’s a strong word.” Todoroki commented.

“You know what else reminds me of grief? Lemons. Lemons are like humans. They have skin, flesh, and seeds. Skin and flesh are the same but seeds are like organs.” you went on a tangent.

“Strange, though how is a lemon related to grief, you ended up saying lemons are like humans,. If that’s because of the skin, flesh, and seeds, then all fruits are like humans” Todoroki said.

“Ah, but lemons have a bittersweet scent and taste. Grief is also bittersweet. Its bitter in the way that you feel suffering and sadness, yet its sweet because the person who you loose or the cause for your grief was your light, the sweetness comes from how when you learn how important they or it was to you. It’s also sweet because it makes you realize so much” you said.

“Thats a deep sentiment. L/n” he said.

“Well it's true if you think about it” you pouted.

“You’re right, i guess.”

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

The young, dual haired man groaned as he got up from his bed. He got up and started to get ready for work.

He looked at the mirror as he was dressed in heis hero costume. It was fairly similar to the one he had back in UA however there were a few changes. As he was getting his bag from the desk, he took one last glance at the photograph.

He frowned a little. Why was it that his heart aches so much even though it’s been 2 years?

He still vividly remembered how devastated people around him were. Your classmates, family, friends, they all were shaken.

As of that time, it had been almost a year after they graduated from UA, roughly 2 years after you’ve died. It had been quite some time since he had finally stopped mourning, just like the others who lost you. However he was still hung up on you, particularly grief. The conversations you had initiated were always so peculiarly lucid, perhaps because most of them were so bizarre yet eloquent. Your sentiment of grief being bittersweet felt so out of reach, due to the bitter and heavy feeling tugging on him when he remembered you.

As he walked out of the door of him home, locking it, he shook his head, trying to clear his mind to prepare for the day. He sighed as the calm cold breeze, swept around the city, winter was ending soon, and spring was coming. The streets of Musutafu were busy due to the large amount of tourists coming for the season. It was rational. It was about to be one of the best time of the year, the temperature wasn’t the hottest and the scenery, even at the city, was nice.

He walked to his hero agency, doing his daily routine. Sitting on his desk, he sighed, his hand through his hair before looking at his work.

He was filled with grief, yet he knew it was his fault.

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

Days at UA had its ups and downs. There were most definitely times of great peril and life changing times, however there were also those peaceful moments.

Todoroki savored those moments where it was just normal. He often either took that time to train, study, or simply rest with his mind at ease. He was walking down the hallway to the common room of the dorms, about to make his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He saw in the common room that you, along with some of the girls were happily chatting.

He saw how you were just in a shirt and shorts since it was a weekend. He noticed how you fidgeted with the couch pillow while you talked as he poured the glass of water.

Todoroki was no stranger to simple feelings, sure he isn’t as educated on modern and other things, but he knew full well that he had a crush on you. He thought of it as just a crush, something he would get over, so he just decided to act normal and let nothing change.

“Todoroki!”

He snapped out of his daze and looked at you, your face only a few centimeters away from his. His eyes widened slightly, he backed up a little, which lead you to baking away.

“Do you need anything L/n?” he asked. You shook your head. “Sorry. The girls were talking about the english test on monday, i don’t have notes. Momo and everyone else won’t give them to me because i’m ‘irresponsible’” You pouted, giving a glare towards the girls.

Todoroki sighed. “I only have notes about the main points. It’s easier to understand if you actually pay attention in class”

“Yeah, i do pay attention! But…. its harder to understand if Present Mic speaks in a different language for 50 percent of the class time” you whined.

“I’ll give you my notes, i’ll go up and bring them here” he said, departing to get his notes

“...”

“Can you explain this?” You said, looking at the notes in utter confusion.

“I thought you only needed notes” he inquired.

“They’re all in english letters…”

“Sure” he agreed. Thanks! I’ll knock at your door after hanging out more with the girls” You hummed after walking away.

He stared at you, as you immediately started laughing and talking with the girls. How did someone have the audacity to even freak out about not studying for a quiz, and immediately go into girl talk mode. He would probably be irritated, however something about you was….. Cute.

He just knew he had to push those feelings aside, not in fear of possible unreciprocated feelings, but he felt as if he would hurt you.

༶•┈┈┈✧┈✧┈✧┈┈┈•༶

The strong tug on his heart was grief. Regret filled him, the feeling that he was able to acknowledge his feelings yet push them aside felt like a mistake. However the grief he had was overwhelming. It was painful beyond measure. It was the realization that he would never, ever, get the chance to face you, and get over his regret.

After signing a document, he checked his phone to see his schedule. The time read ‘15:48’

He had come back from patrolling just about 48 minutes ago. He checked his calendar app to see if there was anything to do.

Coincidentally, he saw an event set for 16:30. He stood up, putting on his coat and walking out of the room. He informed his assistant that he was going somewhere and taking a early leave.

He made his way to a designated area, looking at the small group of people gathered there. A woman with short, brown hair was the first one who noticed him. “Todoroki” sh called out to him, making everyone else turn to him.

The candles were already lit in front of the altar, as flowers and some of your items stood there. Midoriya, Kirishima, Bakugou, Yaoyorozu, and your other friends were already there as well. He had been informed by Uraraka that your parents left earlier.

Everyone wished that you were just somewhere out there, probably hiding from the villains, instead of passing away. However, that was just how the world works.

They talked a bit to catch up. Everyone had moved on already, but you were dear to them.

It was strange.

Here were your friends from years ago, some of them pro heroes, smiling and talking. He remembered how you were like a ball of light that even Bakugou smiled to.

Several people often smiled because of you. Yet without you they could easily still smile, well obviously. Grief was a sickening thing. At one point people are mourning them the next day, they’re just fine, however years later, they are broken.

He took a sip from the Bottled milk tea he bought from a 7-eleven and sighed. His grief stalked him everyday, some days worse than others. He knew it was his fault, he regret the fact that he didn’t confess or do something. He knew that you would probably just say it wasn’t his fault but the blame his mind just threw at him made it really hurt.

He fixed his posture and decides to do something. He walks away however a voice stops him.. “Todoroki, you’re leaving too? We were just talking about having diner to catch up” Yaoyorozu said as he looked over and saw her and his other former classmates walking away in a different direction.

“Sure, though I’m not leaving yet. I’m just getting something”

“Alright. We’ll meet up with you in a restaurant address I’ll text”

He walked back with a bouquet of flowers. They were several Tiny white flowers with yellow in the center. He walked back to your grave he placed the bouquet in front.

Lemon flowers were a strange gift to give someone on their deatbaniversary. Other flowers were often used but he felt that these were the way to go.

He squatted as he looked directly at your grave.

“It’s been a while….”

A silence filled the air.

“Everyone here still misses you, even if you’re in the back of their heads sometimes.”

He paused again.

“You were honorable that day, saving 12 people. You were a great hero. A hero that made people smile.”

“Me, smile.” He sighed as he got up.

“You were a great person Y/n. And I loved and still love and admire you for that.” He said.

He stayed there for a few more minutes, enjoying the peace and just relaxing. He finally decided it was time to go.

As he started his car, he checked the mirrors and saw his glossy eyes. He shut them tightly and opened them again, things seemed to have gotten brighter. He took one last glance at the memorial.

A sweet scent filled the air around him as he was about to drive away. However the scent wasn’t from the lemon flowers by your grave.

Song basis: Lemon by Kenshi Yonezu

context-

Unnatural remains as one of my most favorite dramas ever (if i end up not taking music or writing for college then i'll settle for forensic pathology ;-;) and Kenshi Yonezu is such an inspiration aside from Ito Kashitaro. This song just hits hard and I hope you all enjoyed it. The fanfic and song talk about grief and it’s ‘bittersweet’ lemon like scent, also death. It can be relatable to someone who has lost someone in their lives and if they’re probably struck about it. Honestly for me, I haven’t lost anyone that important to me to death yet, however what makes it so sentimental to me is that it shows how important people in people in your life actually are. I’m the type of person who normally has a few people I don’t like or I naturally just don’t like some people who i’m Supposed to like however the songs shows that “oh hey, if they die, you’ll be affected as well, whether deeply or not”. (i tend to have my own opinions of people irl ;-;)

I just wanted to share this since I’m an emotional mess it’s Valentine’s Day and you can show the people in your lives if you are about them if you want to.

ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴠᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴇs ᴅᴀʏ

#bnha #bnha x reader #lemon kenshi yonezu #todoroki #todoroki shouto #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #x reader #bnha valentines day #valentines day sepcial #angst #todoroki x reader angst #bnha angst #bnha x reader angst #grief #be happy and smile #happy valentines day lmao #boku no imagine this stories

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pokemonmastersean · 6 years

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Anxiety, Depression and My Life

I don't expect people to read this, I don't expect people to see me differently and I don't expect to change but recently I’ve had a lot in my head and I just need to get it all out of my head... If you do read this then well you'll know a lot about me and well how you see me is how you will.

When I started middle school I started to figure out who I was, in 6th grade I just was an annoying little kid with a buzzed hair cut being awkward like any middle schooler. Once 7th grade began I started to become comfortable with the idea of who I truly was and I thought I had a group of close enough friends ti be able to finally tell then who I really was and what I felt. When I came out to my friend within hours my phone started blowing up because everyone started finding out as well, some good and some bad. When I started seeing all the hate I began self harming. I remember clearly that I had this purple jacket (which was my favorite because I love the color purple) and underneath the sleeves my wrists were slit in every direction, bright red from all the fresh cuts and dark red with the previous ones starting to heal. That year I found out who my true friends were and I began making the close group of friends that I have today. When I went to school people wanted to fight me and I wanted to fight them also because I didn't want to be afraid of who I truly was. When I decided to come out to my parents they didn't really take it the best of ways.. I just remember my mom yelling at me and slapping me multiple times crying, I remember my dad looking at me in such disgust and the moment my mom walked away he grabbed me by my neck and started choking me against the wall, to this day if my little brother didn't come downstairs crying I believe that I wouldn't be here.. I remember running up to my room in such fear as I fell to my bed and thinking of how nice it would have been to die.. to hang myself and just not be there anymore.

Once 8th grade started all my close group of friends that I had moved to the new middle school and I basically had to start over which was good and bad. People still hated me and I didn't truly care cause at the time I started to hate myself also. Later that year (around easter time) my older cousin saw that I had been self harming myself and told my aunt, which informed my parents. Their response to me doing that was that I was “looking for attention” and decided that the best thing to do was ground me instead of wanting to talk about it, which didn't make matters any better..

9th grade began and I was starting to feel a little better, I was thinking that a new school could possibly help and I could start being myself more.. within the second month of school starting I lost my friend Amanda through suicide... a week later my friend Adrian did the same. When I found out I started walking around school numb and just went and left. A couple of weeks had passed from their passing and my mom pulls me out of class bawling her eyes out (thinking to myself that someone had passed away) I asked her if she was ok and I got no response, instead she drove me home where I noticed my dad was also there. Thinking that someone had died we walking into the kitchen where they sat me down and started questioning me on my friends and that I needed to stop hanging out with them cause they were a bad influence. Later I find out that my step cousin told his mom that I was going to kill myself so that was why my mom pulled me out of class. I was sitting in my kitchen being yelled at saying that I was hurting my parents when not once did they ask how I was taking the passing of my friends. Later the next day I went to school and I vividly remember my friend Karla pulling me to the side and asking if I was ok cause she was having dreams of me, and that I was hanging myself (little did she know I was having dreams like that also) but I had told her I was fine and continue walking to my class.

My sophomore year was just an uneventful time and it was ok until my anxiety started coming into my life. Having my anxiety I got nervous around anything that was new to me and it made my constantly throw up blood. I would go a day or two without eating cause I was constantly anxious about what could happen next.. at this point in time I was with my close group of friends so they helped and understood but I felt like complete shit cause I couldn't even go out to eat with them cause if I did id get sick and throw everything up. I started losing weight and I realized that I wasn't healthy anymore and thats how I was going to stay.

Junior year started off the same as Sophomore and I respected that. the self harming was slowly going to away but once and awhile I’d relapse and start scratching myself until I would bleed. Around valentines that year two of my friends (one that I knew since elementary school and the other since middle school) went off campus and didn't return. They got in a wreck and one of them passed away on site and the other was rushed to the hospital with major brain damage. That day I walked home numb, I remember calling my mom telling her that I didn't want to go to SAT prep and when she asked why I just broke down in my back yard.. About a week later Gina (who had brain damage) passed away at the hospital and it was just killer. I finished that year by having to make up 42 hours of school cause I just decided to stop going.. I wan’t feeling it anymore.

My senior year went my by fast and I was glad that it did, I went to class and I left, I stayed to my close group of friends and left it at that.

Once I started college I met this guy and things were actually looking up for once, I was extremely happy and though that he could actually be the one (little did I know that that wasn't the case) We got together and my anxiety continued to the point where he didn't want to go eat out with me publicly cause he was embarrassed (but I knew everyone was honestly). We continued to date and one day my parents were mad that I was hanging out with him a lot and they mad ehe make the decision of living with them or to be an adult so I packed my things and I wanted to leave. When my parents saw my stuff they didn't take it the right way and my dad wanted to fight. He punched my and my mom hit me again, I tried getting my things and they pushed me down the stares. Once my ex (boyfriend at the time) was at my house to help me get my things and move in with him he had to call the cops on my parents cause they weren’t letting me leave... its shitty having to be escorted by cops to your room to get your things while your parents are trying to fight you. Knowing that it was a hard decision to make, I got my things and left, I didn't talk to my parents for a couple of months and eventually they reached out to me and wanted to see me. When I went to go see them they just wanted to fight, every time and I absolutely hated it. I remember going back to my ex’s crying cause they would say so much and wouldn't let me leave. A few months had passed since we started living to together and things were great (well I thought) around Thanksgiving he began hanging out with his coworker quite frequently and didn't want to do anything with me anymore. Later that year (the day before Valentines) I found out that he was cheating on me with his coworker for the past few months (go figure) I had told him that that was what I was thinking and he continued to turn it on me, saying that I was crazy and that I needed help... Between November and February of that year I remember crying my eyes out so much cause of how he mad ehe seem that I was insane and that I needed all this help that I was jealous and all this shit when in the end I was right. (Want to know something funny?) He texted me a few months later asking if I wanted to marry him and that he missed me... No

Later that year I hung out with this guy not expecting anything to happen and not wanting anything to happen but, did that stop him? No it didn't, and I started having thought of self harming again cause I wanted to forget what had he had done.

Eventually I started to black out things from my mind to try and help my situations with how I fell... I mean if I can’t remember it maybe I won't feel? Well I was wrong..

At the end of my relationship I started drinking constantly to just not remember a thing.. I would drink 6-7 nights a week and just drink. I was out every night just drinking my life away and I was happy sue I didn’t feel anything and thats what I wanted.

Recently this year I lost another friend in an accident this past January and three more since then. I started losing myself again and I decided to drop out of college.. I stopped attending classes and just stopped caring about school cause truthfully I don't believe that I will be here long (and I’m ok with that)

Currently I’ve been going to the gym everyday cause the nights I don't I stay up late trying to not cry. I go running to get my mind off of the things in my life and that has helped. I have this image in my mind of how I want to look, I saw how I did before and it makes me sick, I want to be covered in tattoos to hit my skin and I want to have muscle so it seems that I’m strong. Maybe I am strong, having thought of ending it for 8 years should count fro something right?...

I’m trying to get better, my depression still hits me daily, I can be perfectly fine one minute and the next I’m holding back tears. That is me.. and this is who I’ll always be. I’m broken and at this point in time I’m ok with that.. no one will truly know my story and I don’t expect people to but I am me and that isn’t going to change.

Goodnight

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diarynikah · 4 years

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#2: How did you meet your husband?

Hi everyoneeee.

Previously I asked on Instagram if you guys had any questions with regards to why I cancelled my wedding ceremony however halfway through it, we decided to go on so I unfortunately wasn’t able to answer most of it. Apologies! Instead here’s how I met my husband, for all you curious people who asked!

2012 -- that was when. I was a year one student, while A was in his third year in school. I first noticed him when I joined floorball in school. He was playing for the men’s team. I thought - heyyyy this guy’s pretty cute aye. For the longest time he was a mere eyecandy, HAHA. I never knew his name, which faculty he was from or what diploma he was taking. Eventually I found out, ahhh, Iban. Thats what his friends call him. So okay, Iban it is!

Back in school we had this ‘Glitz Night’ to celebrate the sportsmen and sportswomen, as well as some kind of an awards night for them. The floorballers were hanging around TRCC (The Republic Cultural Centre) where the event was held. The ladies went around to take group pictures and what not and some of the guys did too. I figured, hey this is my chance yeah?! Went up to Iban, Hey Iban, can I get a picture with you? - AND THATS IT, HAHA.

This was our very first photo and the only photo we had together until maybe a year later we had a group photo from celebrating my elder brother’s birthday. You might be wondering, EH? HOWCOME SUDDENLY ONE ELDER BROTHER COME OUT?

After a while since we took this^ photo, Iban appeared at my house for Hari Raya. Found out he’s my brother’s bestfriend, and he also had a girlfriend. Not wanting to be a home wrecker, of course I stopped eyecandy-ing him. Plus, its damn weird lah to eyecandy my brother’s bestfriend - nobody else in the world is it to look at????? Eventually I had a boyfriend and Iban maintained as a friend. We became really good friends cos I see this guy at my house for hari raya all the time and he was the most significant bcus he kept finishing up the one and only kueh that I bake. He’d even text me prior to ask me to take out my secret stash from the locked cabinet to give him? SHAMELESS, I thought.

We remained really good friends for the longest time and we became each other’s wing man/woman, HAHAHA. He’d ask me for opinions on what to wear for his date, I’d look for him to ask for a male’s perspective when I have male issues. But we’d never hang out bcus both of us had our own relationships then and we respected each other enough to not cross the line in our friendship. I could safely say our friendship was preeeetty platonic at that time bcus he’d say things like he’d watch over me like a little sister when my brother can’t since my brother was having his training and cant be home a lot.

There was never an opportunity for us to be even closer bcus when he had a relationship, I didnt. And when I had one, he didn’t. We were that much of a friend that both our then-partner knew of the both of us and eventually became friends too.

COME TWENTY EIGHTEEN, where it all began.

I wanted to let him know I decided to make his favorite kueh despite saying I didnt feel like making them since I was going through some turmoil. Every year without fail he’d reply to my IG story/Snapchat whenever I make the kueh.

2016^

2017^

2018^

I eventually made the kueh a lot later and made extra for him to keep. Since then we got closer again bcus there was one point in our friendship I didn’t talk to him and told him we can’t be friends anymore, hahaha oops. We caught up with a lot of things in our lives and we hung out since the both of us were single and found no issues hanging out as friends. Little did I know he deemed the hang outs as dates instead HAHAHA. He’d give me hints to liking me but I never believed them cos we been friends for the longest time so if he liked me he would’ve made a move earlier. I also refused to believe that a guy like him would like me. BUT I WAS WRONGGGG. We had a really brief pause when I found out he had feelings. I wasn’t ready for a relationship bcus I just fell out from one just a while before we got closer. The pause didn’t last for very long bcus I treasured our friendship a lot. We met to talk about things and I said in these exact words in his face, “I will help you get over me.”

Fast forward February 2019, we got engaged. HAHAHAHAHA.

What a turn over of events, eh? My parents were fond of him since way before and always asked about him. So introducing him to my parents was never a problem. In fact, I immediately introduced him to my parents as someone I’d like to pursue. The first time my parents officially met his was our engagement day. It was a small event between the two families and tadah, the wedding planning began.

My 17 yr old crush who became someone I had to cut off, became my husband 8 years later.

As of today, its been 8 years since we met, 2 years since we got together, and 6 months since we got married. Alhamdulillah, life is even more amazing to have Ariff as my husband, and I can never be more thankful with how Allah has planned this all for us. We haven’t stopped receiving questions on “when’s the next step happening?”, and I have also never stopped replying with “When Allah wills for it.” hahahaha, bunch of busybodies ah you all tsk tsk.

Good story to tell our future kid(s), huh?

Until next time!

Lotsa love, Nurfa x

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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years

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Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain't In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed its going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy same old, same including a spectacular miss this weekend not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust Michels On Palmer Street is no more. Bancroft boo-boo Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, theyre about to disappear up their own ummm kazoo. And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest and longest tanty in living memory ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people. But first For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnellys funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns. Vale, mate Moving On Its climate change on Bentleys mind. Our toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather theyre having over there. The Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

Speaking of Things Of The Past

This now sadly includes the much loved Michels restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

It will be sorely missed by many, including The Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie. Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word iconic almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the iconic Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly). Well That Didnt Take Long Did It? The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Heres how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonishers FB page.

Boy, be on the front page! And didnt that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletins staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, lets have a closer look.

Whats all this? This is what all this is.

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydneys Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend digitally altered.Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers. but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole like The Magpie maybe would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page. The Pie has asked before, and now asks again are they all bloody drunk down there? BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The Pie was taking Ruperts shilling. But Wait, Theres More The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating

and that resulted in the first correction of the year.

Although it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last years media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference. Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.

Hahahahaah gasp snurffle dont you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville Australias first mentally healthy city. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured oh, wait, I know soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australias mentally healthiest city, but we cant be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons. What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense. And youve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldnt create as fiction.

And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and hows that working for you, eh?) Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us during the week, it was oh, dear it was people who oh, The Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Now normally, itd be kind to let this slide, but its hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story. Then There Is This From comments during the week. The Magpie From the alleged files: THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ALLEGEDLY ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

So they allegedly found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didnt find a shotgun or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didnt find it. FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe the Bulletin or the police its no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an allegedly , since no names or details of the arrested man are published. During the coming year, The Pie will be running an alleged file from the Astonisher, along with an iconic file the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday. The Magpie January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am(Edit) Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The Pies iconic list.

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge, and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of Townsville? Wasnt that the Sizzler place until a while back? Oh, the shame. Keeping an eye on legendary, too. A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash Crickets bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancrofts personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it. The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australias funniest satirical paper. And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway. The Pie is wondering, given Bancrofts infamous South African venture, if Bunnings might not offer sponsorship. And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan and its wall-eyed child President.

. Thats it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/doing-a-little-with-a-lot-move-over-jesus-your-loaves-and-fishes-stunt-aint-in-it-against-the-townsville-bulletin/

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dong-hyucks · 7 years

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92 Truths

I was tagged by @btsgroupchat ^^

I apologize for not posting your requests several times in a row, but I thought that I would just do this now~

Rules: you gotta answers questions and then tag 20 others (i don’t talk to like anyone riP--)

THE LAST… 1.Drink: Water

2.Phone call: Grandma

3.Text message: ‘My house smells like smoke. My mom may or may not have set the grill on fire.’ to my friend... do i need to explain this one haha

4.Song you listened to: BTOB - Movie

5.Time you cried: Earlier today because I was annoyed and had a headache, which usually makes me cry (im a crybaby lol)

6.Dated someone twice: no lol

7. Been Cheated on: nope ^

8.Kissed someone and regretted it: yes actually ><

9.Lost someone special: two people this year

10.Been depressed: sadly

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: i mean-- i’m fourteen so, so no i’d hope not

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple [violet / lavender]

13. Black

14. Blue [baby / electric]

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15.Made new friends: surprisingly yes 16.Fallen out of love: romantically, no 17.Laughed until you cried: there is actually something wrong with my eyes and they water a lot easier than they should so... like everyday 18.Found out someone was talking about you: yeah >< they were insulting me oops-- (psst i can hear you) 19.Met someone who changed you: absolutely 20.Found out who your true friends are: i hope i do 21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no?? thats awkward lol GENERAL… 22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all 81 of them 23.Do you have any pets: a dog (she’s an adorable shih-tzu/maltese poodle <3) 24.Do you want to change your name: sometimes, since there are like seven annoying people with the same name at school, but i would just be knocking off the ‘n’ so there isn’t really any point 25.What did you do for your last birthday: went to the movies with my friends then hung out at my house (choked on food like twice oops) 26.What time did you wake up: 6:30 AM like always 27.What were you doing at midnight last night: writing 붙잡았어야 해 lyrics in a notebook while watching sensory couple 28.Name something you cannot wait for : my brother’s grad in a few months... i’m actually proud of him but he doesn’t need to know that lol 29.When was the last time you saw your mother: like fifteen minutes ago 30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i can’t name just one thing tbh 31.What are you listening to right now: Monsta X - Beautiful w/ the voice playing in the bg 32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yup 33.Something that is getting on your nerves: grades? stress? school? peOPLe? 34.Most visited website: tumblr i have no life 35.Elementary: ‘graduated’ last year 36, High School: in my first year atm 37.College: x 38.Hair color: brown w/ blonde streaks (i regret bleaching it so much) 39.Long or short hair: long 40.Do you have a crush on someone: nope 41.What do you like about yourself: getting into kpop three years ago (thx me) 42.Piercings: two on my ears but I kinda want helix/upper lobe piercings 43.Blood type: i honestly don’t know but it might be A idk 44.Nickname: Jade 45.Relationship status: single, as it always will be ^^; 46.Zodiac sign: : aquarius [feb. 18] 47.Pronouns: : she/her 48.Favorite tv show: i love watching ncis 49.Tattoos: none 50.Right or left hand: Right FIRST… 51.Surgery: i was like two and it was for my teeth but i don’t know what exactly 52.Piercing: just my ears 54.Sport: i do volleyball and snowboarding 55.Vacation: vancouver most likely we go there like once/two times a year 56.Pair of trainers: idk 57.Eating: i just had dinner 58.Drinking: water 59.I’m about to: go read 61.Waiting for: nana [jaemin] to come back healthy and well rested 62.Want: chocolate, pain killers, money to buy albums... 63.Get married: in the far, far future if im lucky 64.Career: i want to be an english professor [says the one who is too lazy to capitalize her words] WHICH IS BETTER… 65.Hugs or kisses: hugs~ they’re warm >< 66.Lips or eyes: eyes 67.Shorter or taller: idc about other’s height 68.Older or younger: i still don’t care as long as it’s legal lol 70.Nice arms or nice stomach: : wha? 71.Sensitive or loud: i can be both, so both 72.Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73.Troublemaker or hesitant: both HAVE YOU EVER… 74.Kissed a stranger?: yes, it was weird 75.Drank hard liquor? : foUrTeEn yEarS oLD 76.Lost glasses contact/lenses? : yup... my glasses and they were on my head 77.Turned someone down?: yes... im sorry >< 78.Sex on first date?: uh no?? 79.Broken someone’s heart?: unfortunately :( 80.Had your heart broken?: yup :( 81.Been arrested?: no 82.Cried when someone died?: yes 83.Fallen for a friend?: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84.Yourself?: eh 85.Miracles?: sure 86.Love at first sight?: attraction** at first sight, no 87.Santa Claus?: yAs it’s finland (says the person who has not watched hetalia) 88.Kiss on the first date?: sure?? 89.Angels?: i guess OTHER…. 90.Current best friend’s name: ares + sam 91.Eye color: dark, dark brown 92. Favourite movie: i loved the conjuring

That’s it~ I tag: (idk if any of these people have done it, so i’m sorry if i tagged you if you already have~ these are just mutuals that i/past admins have followed)

@jungwoosnatchedmyweave, @mile-ruichi, @baekhyun-hanburger, @marksmushroomhair, @koreanscenes, @armygirl1707, @the-tiny-2j, @yoongiismydrug, @kpopscenariosreactsshipping, @shitbtsreactionsandtexts, @swervingkpoptrashcan, @kpop-text-messages, @hinarashimawara, @whatifwearefiction, @beaniechiminie, @ham001s, and since i don’t have anymore mutuals imma just tag anyone who wants to do this :) just tell me so i can check your blog out~

i dont talk to any of my mutuals (unless im on anon) >< im sorRY YOU FOLLOWED A SOCIALLY AWKWARD PERSONandwiafwahfihw-- i love all of their blogs but idk how to speak ^

bonus:

93. Ultimate bias: LEE DONGHYUCK / DONGHYUK / HAECHAN / BEAUTIFUL BOY OF NCT

#how do i tag this?#92 truths #not an update #not kpop

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anastycrimeboy · 7 years

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Honestly, not much of someone who post anything but I feel like I wanted to talk aloud to the world anoynomously and on a format noone would likely look at so eh. Anyways I met you in 7th grade for the first time. Me? I was quite frankly just an antisocial prick. We talked truly for the first time I believe in social studies where you refered to me as "turtle boy" because of the way I sat (think somewhat like L from death note) we had a group assignment, something minor. I remember reading some question outloud I think, misspoke something aloud and had said "Saint Texas" I have no idea why it was so funny at the time but I remember it being one of the inciting incidences of our friendship. At first, I acted quite cold and annoyed towards you and your friend. You two, however, were quite subborn on making me your friend. Something I am quite honestly very greatful for, as i have no doubt my life would be very different had you two not done so. So we became friends. True friends. The closest and best two friends ive ever had the experiance of having. I dont remember much more of consequence happening in our relationships development during 7th grade. Eventually 8th grade rolled around and what a year that was, for both of us, and our mutual friend as well. You and your friend had a tough, depressing year. By December, so had I become immersed within the pit of depression. However when thinking back, I see that maybe that wasnt such a horrible thing. Our mutal suffering had brought us closer together in some ways. We shared thoughts, emotions, memories, things that brought us closer together. At some point through this, I had begun to have feelings for you. I remember vividly how happy I was when we would stay up until 3 A.M talking nonstop about anything. How happy it made me to simply sit there for hours and talk to you and see your beautiful face and hear your wonderful voice, laughter... I knew how I felt about you. I didnt tell you how I felt for a while. Eventually you had gotten with a guy, actually a friend of mine at the time. Man was I jealous of him... He got your first kiss, was I believe your first boyfriend to my knowlege. He got to hold you, cuddle with you, kiss you, be with you in a way I felt I probably never would. Ha, hell how right I was. You were with him for some time. Through this we continued our close relationship, talked for hours, just enjoyed eachothers presence, at least I know I did. I know at some point while you were with him, believe it was around Christmas, I had told you that I liked you. Not in the manner of just being friends but in a romantic manner. Pretty stupid looking bad, who tells someone they like them when they have a boyfriend? It didnt change anything really, you had expressed that that would not happen then at least. You let me off easy when I had told you then, said perhaps someday. I truly took that to heart. Looking bad, I probably shouldnt have haha. Things were awkward for a week or so but things got back to normal between us soon enough, no damage done. I remember being very very envious of your boyfriend, man jealously is such a powerful emotion. Somewhere around Feburary I remember you and him had broken up for good. As bad as it sounds I remember being trilled that had happend, in spite of your obvious greif and pain at the failure of a long term relationship. To be fair, I was young. I didnt truly understand what love was then. More than likely, then what I had felt for you was nothing more than simple infatuation. Although at the same time it was more than that, i cared for you deeply, and honestly, as we both recognize now the guy was a total asshole. So i like to justify that thats part of what I was so thrilled about but I couldnt say for certain. At this point, both our states of mental health were pretty piss poor. Both of us very depressed people, something that had only gotten worse for us both over the year. You became... this bright sun in my everyday life. The one person who would always bring a smile to my face everytime I simply laid eyes upon you. Without you, I felt hallow, and with you I felt like the sun was shinning on my skin on a spring day. I knew full well you didnt feel the same way about me. Deep down I knew you never would truly feel the same way. However I held some feable hope thst maybe, just maybe one day you'd love me like I grew to love you. Sometime around april, or may you and your friend were just about healed from this depression we had suffered, and I had stagnated. Looking bad, im sure that was mostly due to one crucial fact: you two were bound to go to one high school, and me, another. I knew I was losing two people who.... quite frankly were closer to me than my family ever was, even including my beloved deceased father. I remember on the last day of school crying a bloody waterfall. I never conciously thought this at the time, but im sure in my heart I knew: this would cement that our relationship would only go downhill in terms of our closeness, there was no alternative. You see i neglected to mention, we had experianced a bit of a falling out a month and a half before graduation relating to my depression and extreme drug use. You guys eventually so fed up with it you stopped talking to me altogether. This had forced me to stop abusing oxycotten, and in doing so, you accepted me once more as your friend a week or two before school ended. Our other friend however, from this point forward, was no longer a friend of mine. And my fallout with her was permanent. This left me with you as literally my only true close friend. And man the thought of losing you too then was just... Unfathomable. During the summer I recall talking to you somewhat frequently for a month or so. Then, there was a point when I had for some stupid reason, talked about my issues with your sister. God knows why, i sure dont know what the hell i was thinking haha. This led to you being quite rightly pissed, essentially telling me that you were done talking to me until I got my head straight and out of my shithole of a depression. Quite frankly looking back, man was you not talking to me a great motivator. First it got me to stop doing hard drugs, then got me to actually really start to work on changing my mental outlook on life. By the end of the summer we were talking again, friends once more. Perhaps not as close as I wished but thats not suprising. Id be lieing I said I was totally better. That wouldnt happen until February of next year. But I was definetly in a better state than the end of 8th grade. School started, and man did I hate it. I never realized that truthfully, the only reason I could stand school so much was because of how happy seeing you made me. At this time in my life, I had no real self-confidence. I was a smart kid, my techers knew this, my mom knew it, but damn my grades sure as hell didnt reflect it. I hated school so much without you, i skipped probably more than 30 days and walked home in the first semester. We talked, texted. But man did I miss you... I only saw you once that year, during thanksgiving break. That was by far the most fun I have ever had before. We didnt do anything crazy. We just went out, had got orange leaf, went to barns and nobles and got coffee, you dragged into bath and bodyworks.. Haha man I think that was, what? The second? Third time just you and me hung out by ourselves in peron? I remember never wanting that day to end. I remember thinking 'what if everyday could be like this?' My love for you only grew as time went on it seemed. Distance has never dulled my love for you in the slightest. Time went on. By Feburary my mom was getting desperate reguarding my depression and alarming rate of skipping school, so she took me out and placed me in a charter school, self paced, self taught. A place I could avoid everyone and just learn. Did wonders for my confidence and my mental health. Since then ive been just fine, had a great outlook on life. Great work ethic. You were always there, cheering me on as I got better and worked harder. Haha I remember we flirted a little toward the end of that you. You teased me quite often texting me on my phone you little minx hahaha. Ah, yeah that had sent me some mixed singals alright. Our relationship was still quite solid. We were close, had grown up quite a bit for the year before... things seemed good. Summer once again rolled around, we hung out on my birthday. That alone made it my favorite birthday I've had to date. We had gone to the movies, and just went back to my house, smoked a bowl or two, and relaxed and watch some Star Wars. Enjoyed our time together. I remember multiple times wanting nothing more than to get closer to you and just hold you in my arms... Eventually you left. Once again, I couldnt help but feel that strange hallowness I experiance without you. Wishing I was brave enough to try to hold you, kiss you. Summer went by. We kept somewhat in touch. The next year, 10th grade, is when I would say we truly started to experiance an increase in the gap between us. We talked yes, occassionally discussing what was going on in eachother lives. By this point, and this point onward I dont think we ever shared another long conversaion. Never since then have we had one of those wonderful nights we would just stay up and just talk and enjoy the others presence... Nope. Those times seemed to have passed. I tried on occasion to start one of those kinds conversations, but something would always come up, or one of your sisters would interupt is and eventually i'd just let you go as we were no longer talking, ect. I think i may have seen you once that year. I dont truly remember it if we did. That year went by quickly. We kept in touch of course. We would always talk about how much we missed eachother ha... I just worked hard that year. Nothing else to do really. I've always been a bit of a loner socially and dont bother making friends. Did quite well, ended up both my softmore and junior year, and became a senior. You were quite proud of me I remember. Once again, I got to see you on my birthday and, well, it was then I think I really noticed the deaph of how much we had spaced apart. We just kinda watched a movie for a few hours and you left after a while. I remember being nervous the whole time. We hadnt seen eachother in so long I wasnt sure how to act. I still loved you, just as much as ever, but for fucks sake I didn't for the life of me know what to say, what to do, how to act. I didn't really know what to do around you anymore. By then... We seldomly saw eachother over the course two years, hardly spoke the year before. We didnt have recent experiances, or interesting things to talk about. Well I mean at least I didn't. As a bit of a loner all I had to discuss was my acedemic acheivement and video games or music. Im sure you had stuff going on in your life but by then... Im pretty sure we had seperated to a degree where you didn't even know where to begin discussing what was going on with you, nor did I know the questions to ask. So yeah that was awkward. And I remember kicking myself again and again over it. Same thing happened in augest when I went to your house before school started.... Sigh I remember thoughout these years you've had a few boyfriends, by the middle of freshman year I had a much better grasp on the true meaning of love: that when you love someone, you put their needs, their wants, and their happiness before yours. So I was okay with it. I let go of jealousy. What replaced it was this heart wrenching, smoach dropping sadness when you were with someone else. But again, I knew that you'd never truly loved me in the romantic sense, just as friends really. I knew this spite of the fact you had told me otherwise multiple times. I know you were just reassuring me to spare my feelings. And in a way, i thank you for that. Hell at times, I even let myself believe it. But I was somewhat hopeful, some peice of me remained stubborn that one day you just might like me even slightly in a romantic manner. Hell im graduating now, and I still have not dated, kissed, loved, or truly considered being with another girl. Ive always hoped you would be my first everything. My first kiss, first girlfriend, first date. Hell one day I hoped youd be my first and only wife... we'd have a beautiful little girl... Sigh. Just dreams I suppose. Then this year cam along. Things only got worse. We've hardly talked. I mean sure ill text you general well wishes most mornings when I can and have said more "I love yous" than one could probably count but really? Thats about it. Weve met up twice this year for lunch but i feel like the damage has been done already. Yes yes we have seen eachother but you know I find it hasnt actually alleaviated my missing you. Its like... Idk I see you but at the same time I didnt. Both times we just talked about old friends, school, advancements in life. Nothing really significant or personal... Only had two, somewhat awkward, hugs with you this year. When, bloody hell, ive always wanted so much more than that. Now... The year is ending and really I recognize that we are honestly little more than acquaintances. I mean yes we know eachothers history, but bloody hell we hardly talk anymore about anything. We have no idea what the eachothers life is like... Well okay you know what mine is like due to how honestly shallow it is but I hardly know how yours is going. And quite frankly i dont know the questions to ask or the things to say to find out.... I just wish we were as close as we once were... Gods how id give almost anything just to be close friends again, romanctic thoughts aside. Now I see that our drift is just... This gaping raveen the size of the great cayon. And I know its only bound to get worse and eventually end altogether... With me going to college and you your own way with withever you decide to do, likely traveling with your beautiful, adventurous soul. I hope our paths interwine once more in the future... Odds are they wont but I mean you never know what God holds in store for us yeah? Ill always regret not getting the chance to experiance something more with you. Never really trying my hand at something more truly. I was a coward. Quite honestly in some ways though, im glad. You really deserve someone much better than I am. Someone who can make you happy, laugh, and feel joy every minute your with them like you have made me feel. Comfort you when you need help, be there for you when your in pain. These are things I've tried hard to do for you, but could never do perfectly. I really hope you meet a man who can do those things for you. You deserve it more than anyone else. Looking back, I can see that I was lucky that I even ever got to call you a friend. And I was smiled upon by god by the fact that you love(ed) me as a friend. That alone was really more than I had the right to ask for really. Thank you, for everything you have done for me. And helping me become who I am today. I only wish I could have helped you half as much as you have me... I love you, forever and always. And may god bless your life and the path you walk on my love.

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barnowl98 · 6 years

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AYYYY I’m going to share my mental health story

I was watching a thing on youtube about someone who was sharing their story, and I decided I wanted to do that too. This may contain triggers, but if you do decide to read it, read it all the way through.

You should know that I’ve only ever told a few people about this, I’ve never told any of my friends off the internet, or my parents, and it should be noted that I HAVE NOT TALKED TO NOR AM I A PROFESSIONAL. I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN PROFESSIONAL HELP AND IF YOU ARE CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THIS STUFF GET HELP, TRUST ME I WISH I HAD BUT THERE WERE OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND MY CONTROL AND A LOT THAT I KNOW NOW THAT I DIDN’T KNOW THEN. SERIOUSLY, IT CAN’T HURT SO JUST DO IT.

But seriously, it’s taken me a long time to get to a point where I can share this, and even now it’s only on a somewhat anonymous post where no one I actually know will ever find it.

Now that I’m done yelling at you, I can start.

Sooo... the first thing that should be known is that one of my family members is borderline (actually maybe not even borderline, they may have crossed that line but I don’t know) abusive, not physically, but mentally. I’ve been told I’m worthless, ugly, useless, never going to be happy, my whole life. I’m overweight, and always have been. When I was 9 this person tried to convince me to basically not eat anything, and I almost bought their argument until they told me I would never be happy if I was fat.

When I was little I would write short cute stories, and as far as I remember they weren’t bad, and when I let this person read them, they would always laugh. I thought they were laughing at the stories. Turns out they were laughing at my spelling mistakes. I found out when I asked them to read my essay for school. They laughed at it. It wasn’t funny. I told them I wanted to be an author when I grew up. They told me I could never be an author because I was to fat. Thats when I stopped worrying about my weight. That statement, that I couldn’t write because I was fat, was just so BS that even I could tell it wasn’t true.

But the thing is: if someone tells you these things, every few days, for years, you start to wonder if they’re right. Especially if this is an authority figure. I promised myself then that I was going to prove them wrong. I still am working on that promise. I write as much as I want, and I do what makes me happy, and the day after I can consider myself happy is the day I start a diet. Is it physically healthy? No. But as I’ve grown I realized that even before I knew what mental health was, I was putting it first. Its more important to be happy than it is to be happy.

Anyway thats that part of the basic info. The other part is that in elementary school I had a best friend. We became friends in first grade, and by 4th we were nearly inseparable. Except that apparently she wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t know what happened. She won’t tell me. Did I say something or do something? I still don’t know. All I know is that one day we were fine and the next day on the playground she told me not to talk to her again.

I don’t know, maybe its just my kind of personality, but that completely destroyed me. Like its one thing if you don’t like me because of something, but to go from being my best friend to nothing with no explanation... I still don’t know what I did, and that still bothers me. Now I’ve guessed that it was probably peer pressure since all the other girls in our class came to me 3 days later and told me they also wanted nothing to do with me. But I didn’t really care about them, they were only my friends because of her, but I do remember sitting on the playground when they told me all of they're little speech and I just remember crying and asking why. I said why so many times. They wouldn’t answer. After that I was left with one guy who also didn’t understand what was going on, and he pretty much saved my life the first time. He made it a goal to make sure I smiled every day. And I did because of him, but I also started into depression and social anxiety.

About a month after the end of our friendship, this girl comes back and thinks we can go back to being best friends, and I was like Bitch excuse you? But also I couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t know it then, but now its completely obvious. I had anxiety attacks when I tried to talk to her. 2 times I actually blacked out. I don’t think i fainted, but I remember being terrified when one second I was trying to talk to her, and the next thing I know I’m in a completely different place, but I have no memory of what happened, just a sense that time had passed. Its fucking terrifying, especially if you don’t know what’s happening.

But this girl, she doesn’t give up. We wrote notes back and forth for 2 years. She always insisted that she did want to be friends again and she was sorry for what happened. She never told me why though, and thats most of why it took 2 years. When I finally was able to talk to her again we became pretty close friends again. By then I had made friends with another girl, and the boy I had been friends with kind of headed towards hanging out with other guys. It was middle school, girls had cooties again. This other girl deserves a name because she literally saved me. But since I don’t have her permission, we’ll just call her Ash. Ash, “Her” and I were friends for a while, and it was great. That year I also got invited to a leadership conference in Washington DC for a week (which, side note, I think I had a nightmare that they were trying to sue me over the events that happened that I will now describe, so I’m going to be very careful about not mentioning the name. Don’t sue me, none of this is my fault.) So that spring I got on a plane with my aunt and went to WA DC. The conference thing was great. I got to see lots of places and we went all over and learned lots. The food was not great, so I didn’t really eat. I thought it was ok to skip eating so much since I was overweight. I WAS WRONG DO NOT EVER THINK THAT’S OK YOUR BODY THINKS ITS STARVING AND GOES INTO SURVIVAL MODE AND ACTUALLY WON’T LET YOU LOOSE ANY WEIGHT AND MAKES YOUR BRAIN NOT WORK RIGHT AND SUCH. This was just one of the factors. Another was my roommates. We were assigned rooms in groups of 4 with other kids from around the country. I should mention that this trip was kind of expensive, and I was lucky to raise the money to go, but almost everyone else there was rich. I got roomed with 2 rich... I’m just going to say it. Bitches. Fuck them. I’m getting ahead of myself. The other girl was like eh whatever I’m going to sleep. The 2 girls decided that instead of like just sleeping or whatever, it’d be fun to make my life living hell for the week. Now I’d been bullied at my school. I mean the best example is all the girls from the previous story shunning me. But the thing about my school is that they don’t do the bullying directly to the face. They might whisper behind your back, but they would never say it to your face. These girls were not that kind. They stole my stuff, they wouldn’t leave me alone, they kept watching tv so loud I couldn’t sleep till midnight or 1AM. Thats on top of jet lag. They bullied me into not asking for a room change. Finally on the Thursday of that week, I locked myself in the bathroom with my phone. I was crying and hyperventilating, I couldn’t move but I couldn’t stand to stay still. It was terrible.

That was the point. We were in a room on the 8th floor. There was a window. I wanted to end it all. I didn’t want to go home. I just wanted to stop existing forever.

But there was this tiny voice in my head begging me to try to get help. I had 2 friends, The girl and Ash, and Ash was kind of known for not being the most reliable person and little more happy go lucky, not really the kind of person that would help in this kind of a situation. This girl was reliable right? Seriously, what happened before was just so out of character for her, theres no way she would leave me literally on the edge. Right?

I called her. She answered. I was mid anxiety attack and couldn’t really make words, i was just sort of crying into the phone. She didn’t even listen or ask me if I was ok. She yelled at me for calling her so late at night, and she hung up. I called again. I texted her. I told her I needed to talk to her, I told her what was happening. I told her I wanted to say goodbye.

I decided to call Ash, just as a last resort. And I will tell you one thing about Ash. She has a slytherin exterior and persona, but on the inside she is a hufflepuff. She is the most loyal friend I’ve ever had, and she was ready to kill whoever hurt me. She let me talk to her mom, and she got grounded for a month for being on her phone at night, but she also didn’t care about those things. She cussed out the girls in my room for me. She stayed on the phone with me till morning to make sure I got the rest of the night to sleep. She made sure I was ok.

And like I wasn’t. I’m still not that ok. I’m still crying even thinking about it. And the other girl? She still gives me anxiety attacks. I avoid her at all costs. Shes not a bad person, in fact I we have a lot of common interests. There was a reason we were such good friends. Now she works in my bank, and I have to go talk to her sometimes, and I always leave the bank on the verge of an anxiety attack.

And Ash and I aren’t really friends anymore we kind of went into different branches in high school, but I will always be thankful for her. She always has a place in my heart.

I want to say more about how all this has effected me but honestly I’m exhausted rn. What happened made me who I am, but I think I’d like to change that bit if I could. Its ok to have regrets. Its ok to have problems. Take care of them. Take care of yourself. You will be ok, even if it doesn’t seem like it now, and it will take time. You won’t be ok next week, or next month, or maybe even next year. Maybe not 10 years from now. But eventually one day you’ll think back and realized that hey, you’re ok. Its ok. And then you can let it go. And thats ok. Everythings ok in the end. I love you. Its late and night. I’m going to sleep now. Seriously, I love you, especially if you think no one else does. I would love to talk to anyone who I can, but tbh find a professional, I’m just a young adult who doesn’t know anything and I tend to mother hen ppl with problems and thats not good for my choice to put my happiness first, and also I don’t consistently get tumblr messages, but there are plenty of free emergency health lines, some even that you can text to, so google one up and get help. Seriously, its worth finding help. Your life is worth it. I promise.

Sorry for spelling mistakes there are a lot of red squiggly lines but idc rn

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