#becoming someone's Wife. whether or not she wants them! and i'd argue she usually doesn't. not like she thinks she does.

[widowshill]

the people aren't ready to hear this but angelique arbitrarily picking quentin to decide to be in love with out of nowhere, bewitching roger into marriage and then absolutely not wanting him to touch her, and constantly pursuing men's (chiefly barn's) attention only when it's clear he doesn't want her, is soooo comp het of her.

[sinkingquail]

a ramble about taliesin's spoon-feeding line

cw: caregiver burnout, dementia hi @dynamite124 please let me know if you want me to take the audio file down!

i was thinking about how taliesin really would take care of the ldb for the rest of their life if they happen to be unable to take care of themselves after reading the elder scroll

aka rambles from someone working as a caregiver for people with dementia and how fucking meaningful this is

(this is half me being amazed at tally, half me explaining the horrors of dementia)

tl;dr: i believe that by the time taliesin says this line, he genuinely loves the player. like so, so much i can't even begin to describe it.

to preface this, i've been working in memory care for about half a year now. it is so fucking heartbreaking, guys.

for those unfamiliar with dementia, it's a very slow, insidious disease that results in memory loss first and foremost, but can also lead to paranoia, aggression, loss of motor function, inability to process sensory info, aspiration pneumonia (this is usually what kills people with dementia - it's important for people that have trouble swallowing to be on a puréed food diet and let me tell you, it looks fucking terrible)

here's a few examples of the people in my care. note that these are people that families have decided they can no longer take care of and pay a LOT of money for their care, so they tend to be in the later stages of dementia:

guy that is just constantly walking around the building. his eyes don't track you, he doesn't react to most stimulus, when he talks it's nonsense. he's in his 70s.

lady that says her dog is running around, she can see her in the hallways. her dog is over the rainbow bridge as of last year. she is also one of our most independent residents

guy that i'd transfer from his wheelchair to his chair. after he sits, he would touch the wheelchair and ask me what it is

the one i want to talk about the most, a husband and wife that have been married for 60+ years. the husband is cognitively intact and very independent (he can drive) and the wife, well... she's absolutely dependent on us

anyways, here's the exact quote taliesin says when the dragonborn messes with him and pretends they've actually gone insane from reading the elder scroll:

"You had me half worried I'd have to spoon feed you for the rest of your life. And that is NOT a kink I am into."

(leave it to tally to use humor to deflect again) i cannot stress how insane this is.

anyways, the husband that i mentioned previously has essentially halted the rest of his time on earth to take care of his wife, who he's been married to for over 60 years. it is simultaneously heartbreaking and beautiful just how much love the husband has for this person.

i'd like to compare that to taliesin, who will say this after... how long of knowing the ldb? like a couple years, max?

(this is not to downplay the husband's sacrifice, but rather to give a comparison of the sheer amount of love that goes into making this kind of decision)

i argue that by the time this happens in-game, taliesin truly, truly loves the player (whether platonically or romantically is up to interpretation). he'd have to love them, to genuinely want to spend however long the ldb has left to take care of them.

it's even more meaningful when you remember that taliesin wants to see the world. by taking care of you, he's most definitely giving that up. and he'd do it in a heartbeat. there's also a matter of how long tally would act as caregiver for. i don't know how old they are but altmer live a fucking long time (i think like... 300 years?), and depending on the race of your ldb, this quote can be that much more meaningful. (it's still super meaningful even if the ldb would die in a year, tbh. tally had basically just gotten the chance to escape the thalmor)

and of course, what does the ldb's insanity look like? no idea. but i can tell you that when people's dementia progress, their personality changes. they can become more irritable, lash out, get violent. now imagine what that's like if you're taking care of the freaking dragonborn instead of someone that's 80+ years old.

not to mention how fucking exhausting caregiving is. i've been only working this job for half a year, part-time and i'm so tired. i also work a little less than 20% of the hours in a week, these people need 24/7 care. the work is insane, and tally is insane for offering to take this on. especially without help.

does taliesin realize how much work it is? would he tap out after a bit? im not sure, but to even offer such a thing in the first place just goes to show how much love he has for the player. and i think that's beautiful

(this was a very long-winded way of saying that taliesin's gesture is genuinely born out of love for the player. i'm also very passionate about the work i do, please feel free to message me if you have any questions about dementia, or just need someone to vent to.)

[kurczeno]

there is a funny drama on twt, which my friend sent me and I want to talk about it, but im deadly scared of twt so i will do it here

so the thing is - someone said Zev is a rapist and other people got mad that they call him that, while also defending Oghren.

And honestly? Zev is one of my favourite characters from the entire series - probably second only to Isabela. I'm not sure if calling him a rapist is entirely right? He definitely used his targets and I think he always said that both of them (him and the other person) had the intention of killing the other, so it's difficult to talk about consent here. But you can't say he did not use his targets - he says it outright, multiple times. There is no denial here, as Zev rarely denies that what he does is messed up.

It's not there to show you, idk, that he is horny and hot (?). It's there to show you how Crows ruined this man, that his morals are absolutely twisted. He's not even defending it. He knows it was wrong, he just can't exactly care about that atp.

Oghren on the other hand? Without getting into details about his past, probably one of the most tragic in all the games - I want to remind you, that he goes on this expedition with you, still hoping that his beloved wife might be alive - just to see her commit the worst attrocities. He's already a broken man, when you take him to the deep roads and while you are there he slowly sees the only person he cared about for what she really is. Or what she has become. His world is literally falling apart as you go. Or the remains of his world. And pair all that with where he's coming from, the Orzammar that we know of.

You can argue, that Branka was the only way he could get his honor back, but he does love her. And later he says many awful things about her, but I'd say it's mostly a coping mechanism to deal with whatever the fuck happened. Because holy shit. Peak DA writing btw.

And now to Oghren as a companion - yes, he is a disgusting pervert. Things he says are often just sickening and tasteless and I can see how they might make you uncomfortable. But that's really... all he does. Almost every single one of your companion, besides Wynne and Alistair does horrible things - Zevran is literally an assassin and he used his targets in more than one way, Sten murdered a family that saved him, Morrigan is sort a sadist. All of those are incredibly written flaws and the characters do it for a reason. But it is there. All Oghren does is talk, really. There is also the part in which Oghren leaves Felsi. It's an awful thing to do (again, it's due to his insecurities, but it doesn't make it right), but it happens, eventually. And yes, it's disappointing that you, as a Warden, can change most of your companions for the better and Oghren still does the shitty thing. But the Origins companions, as I said, are supposed to be flawed and flawed in an unforgivable way. He's not worse than other companions. I can see how he is less likeable than the others, since they usually make up for these flaws with their personality and for Oghren it's the personality that is the problem, but saying that he is the worst companion, as in actually the most "evil" is just so... bizarre. And despite being less likeable he is well-written - although whether including a character like this as a companion is right, since he can make many people uncomfortable, is certainly debatable