#becoming a louis girl is a core memory

[justalildance]

oh my man 🥹

my favourite thing about chop suey is his eyelashes

[horizon-verizon]

Interview with a Vampire: Claudia

I watched this series a long time ago, both season, but I remember that I never expressed my disdain for Claudia-hate.

Some people argue Claudia had no right to be angry at Louis for telling Armand about Lestat...ugh.

While you may be part of a community, I don't think that means that said community has a right to force you to dehumanise yourself or to dehumanise/infantilize you. Or to ignore and dismiss what are very deep core, defining wounds in favor of their own "order". They know she is an adult and a community very much can change or shape itself towards some members' emotional needs as long as there's a unresentful understanding amongst all.

That play, if you notice, is basically describing--metaphorically--Claudia's existence, how others see her, how the coven members can and might abuse her, as well as foreshadowing the end of this story Claudia may have chosen to be a part of a coven, and specifically one in theatre, but she did not ask for infantilization. It's like if you have an insecurity and then tried to find a group to "belong" to, say a church community, but you find out right after you joined that you have to basically hone or perform your insecurity many times a week. For Claudia, that's x50. If you go back to the last episode, in the after credits, the directors and actors reveal that for the vampires, performing's only purpose is for them to be as they are (killing humans for glee, blood, etc.) while in front of the very humans they have to hide from so as to not be hunted or else.

Claudia has another layer of tragedy--her being a vampire adult stuck in an immortal body. And she has been forced into posing as a child for all of her vampire life, AND she has never been a human adult. While every other vampire she has met has at least experienced--even if they don't remember--what being a human adult was like and have carried whatever makes one "adult"/become physically "mature". Claudia is arrested in childhood not just physically of body but partially of mind, as you said. She has been trying to understand what it means to be a vampire and to be a realized vampire all this time, which is why she was so single-minded in finding other vampires--to find any frame of reference as well a a community that knows and appreciates their own vampire "self". So she could then find what she can be without it always going back to her entrapped state. Who is she, what is she? The girl who has never been "fully" mature? Who has only known adult" life as a vampire but is trapped with the form of the human self she no longer has any real attachment to? She quite literally doesn't have much clue what it's like being a more comparatively complex "human" (kids are still people, still complex, and have good cognitive skills) and has had no mental grasp or sensory experience of "humanness" to actively use when defining-measuring her own actions and self. Or others'. Other than the memories of an abusive aunt and a father who neglected her that are diluted to its most potent foundation of fear that obviously she nor others would want to dwell on, thereby making her even more focused on being a "vampire". There is quite literally nothing like the "leftover" shame Louis has from his mortal life in her, nor something else in the same "family" in potency.

Therefore she has no real interest or feeling of proximity or stake in understanding humanity nor her own proximity to the possible meanings of "humanity"--which explains her lack of patience or care or empathy for humans. She has nothing else but vampirism. So yes, there are more sticky, overlapping motivations for her "demanding" is not strictly the same sort of demanding as the kind of a child's natural forwardness, curiosity, & self-centeredness. Rather, this is a separate, related, and mutually informing phenomenon to how she is partially always a child with impulsive, demanding self-concern of a teen/child.

No one else has this sort of condition, even if they are also trapped in some ways and by their own actions. Only for her to be forced into playing a child in front of the very mortals she and the others do not think of as actual people. It is also like they are excluding her from their own process of self-actualization of vampirism, even inadvertedly. The effect is cruel and unnecessary. She can play a little person, or Armand can do as she asks and relegate her to the back, but he specifically states how he wont' bec "he said so", she should be "grateful", and that they are making a lot of money. As if that is actually why they perform in the first place. So, it's also form of exploitation. In a way, the coven is "feeding" off of her or she is going through special "punishment" before Armand actually punishes her. Child star, anyone? It's also interesting, considering how she is a walking violation of their laws, how they already show that they hate when their precious rules are broken, and how they resent Armand for making Louis just walk around breaking rules...she likely will/would have always been an outlier--socially--in the community she looked for all her life. So, they could also be said to take pleasure in her de-personing similarly to how they take joy/self affirmation when they kill humans onstage--"look at how we enforce our own laws, watch us punish this girl and watch as how we mock 'innocence', how opposed we are to the very concept." And they literally sucked the joy of performing from Claudia by trapping her in the performance she wanted to use to "free" herself--a thing she would have loved and thrived in, used to destroy her.

Claudia is in the most danger if the coven finds out abt Lestat, since Louis is at least in Armand's favor by having slept with him/Armand being in love w/him. And she is physically weaker, smaller as well as a literal "abomination". Louis using the reason of "you were unhappy" is simply not enough in the face of this danger mostly stacked against her, so his superior motivation is that he wanted to keep close to Armand. He had a whole year, mind you, to tell her Armand knows. S2Claudia is not the girl who kept secret the bodies of people she indiscriminately killed after her breakdown last season, which itself again was, as self-destructive and messy for not just her but Louis and Lestat, was a mental breakdown from THEIR actions in turning her as she is now that lead to her killing her first crush/how Lestat handled that. Yes, she needed to know her actions' consequences; however, with Lestat & Louis having not actually not engaging with her as a person but more an accessory-child so they could properly discipline her teenage-child stage, that was also most of their own doing. They needed to connect the consequences of their own actions to their actions that have lead them all to that point--w/o them, Claudia wouldn't have had to live as she did, and that will never change or not matter or not define why she does what she does! (btw, the first crush kill has its own plethora of meaning: it is when Claudia first really comes to realize that she is too dangerous to even that who she could love/value [like a child who's finally broken a much-loved thing what it did not fully internalize was the same as all the other things they did not "love"]).

Having read the book, this TV iteration Armand is not at all interested in really incorporating Claudia into the coven on her own merit, but just to keep Louis around, so he tolerates her emotions and psychological state even less. In fact, it works toward his benefit, bc it isolates her from Louis. I think it's good to remember that these people/vamps are not really trying to act in good faith to each other and might=right is what they really respond to unless they actually like you. Which isn't often.

Then there are those who question why Claudia is so fascinated and comes to trust Madeliene. And vice versa.

Claudia is fascinated by Madeline bc Madeline is a woman who really lives in her womanhood with no trace of self victimization or apologizing for it. Madeline actively listens to her, to her pain, Claudia is the interested in her own. Madeline is not distracted or putting anyone else above Claudia and is interested in what she has to say. It began with Claudia seeing how isolated the woman was in the other episode, how people tried to "warn" her away from her, and defying that boundary to see for herself what made this woman so ostracized. Like a teenager who doesn't like being told what to do (like Lestat), but also bc she had already desired to see herself in a dress that the woman was making that she wanted to use to see herself as she thinks of herself--a woman. You can compare it to how a trans person will wear clothes they/we see as "feminine" or "masculine" to identify and see their denied inner selves outwards. And the guy telling her not to enter likely re-reminded her of her limitations & childness. Also, Claudia cannot talk to other vampires both bc they are not interested and she would have to divulge information that could get her killed. Which makes Louis' telling Armand all the more enraging for her bc it's not just his secret but hers, she has been keeping the end of the silent deal they have to do so, and he never told her he was thinking of telling anyone--much less the vampire who could destroy them both consequently. In fact, Claudia is so much alike to Lestat. It is true that Claudia is trying to go back to Louis with how the coven is doing what they are doing, but she is very valid in that considering all the above and how we still expect our loved ones to have space for us when we see that the space we found with others is actually not conducive to our happiness or safety or mental stability--as the coven has proven to be and she instinctively knows but is clinging onto she has also felt Louis to be so unhappy even before they arrived at Paris (remember how he talked about wanting to go back home, how she was incessant in her search as if he resented her for the constant movement). In fact, it can be literally be life saving.

No, Madeliene is not a pedo nor does she only love or is attracted to Claudia bc she reminds her of her younger sister who she lost and their relationship re-fulfills a lonely failed-protector need in her. Just because you may not like her or understand why she has any appeal to anyone in the series or in real life, doesn't mean she has none nor that there isn't real meaning people get from her character.

Madeleine loves her, is loyal to her, and wants to be her vampire companion in any way--platonically or romantically--bec Claudia similarly rejects nothing about her when quite literally most people in Madeline's life has rejected-abused her or has died. Gender and sexism is a huge part of that; we see how Mad is dragged to the public and had her hair shaved in a public shaming for sleeping with the Nazi guy, and no I don't think sleeping with a Nazi soldier is morally unquestionable (at best), but the crowd's fury was not at her seeming inhumaness but them deciding to re-enforce a control over the female body. think Cersei's walk of shame, how that was clearly not about her murdering people but punishing her sexual decisions culturally denied to women. Would we really have seen a mal townsman be similarly shamed in public if he had slept with a Nazi lady spy or office worker, or the wife of a Nazi officer? A female Nazi officer?

Madeliene loves Claudia because despite all that Claudia has been through and still goes through, she is defiant and relatively easygoing (if people leave her be) and is as defiant as she is. She loves her strength and humor; is impressed by how Claudia is herself and relatively steady in her convictions to be herself. This inspires not just admiration but a faith that Claudia has an emotional steadfastness to be a "permanent" fixture in her life when change in Mad's life has mostly always been negative AND constant. Claudia is both intriguing, never boring, as well as immortal. Which goes back to why the book Mad wanted to be changed and be bk!Claudia's eternal companion--having lost her daughter and having lived her life forever haunted by the regret, she saw Claudia as a self restoration. With show Mad, she's also eager to leave behind human life not just for her lost sister but everything else on top of that. Where she would not have to be beholden to tragedy and have the vampire beauty and strength to be her "optimal" self. Humanity offered her nothing but pain and with the war, and thus far into her life as a dressmaker, she didn't seem to feel there was hope for an actually satisfying life...and without Claudia saving her from being raped, she def would have had an even worse life.

And she likes/is grateful for that Claudia is not put off by her own weirdness; Madeline is weird, she invited a vampire to suck her blood without really knowing beforehand what could happen to her aside from Claudia perhaps losing control and killing her accidentally. (No, I don't include her being dismissive and flippant with Armand when he was questioning her abt her readiness to become a vampire. One, she might have learned from Claudia abt his treatment of her and we already know that she puts Claudia before literally everyone else. Two, Armand may have been sincere in his desire to assess her and impart vampirism's bleakness, but he also was very clearly trying to intimidate her and it is very clear Madeline is not a person to take such things for long & unchallenged...she was nearly raped for it before. She's quite literally the definition of protecting any shred of dignity & happiness over he very life, she's just very...hard as reflective of her "dead" and disillusioned era. We have to remember that this is a time where people are coming back from a terrible world war and brought out the very worst in people--survivors aren't going to majorly be exactly pleasant to be around nor emotionally accommodating but challenge people to assess worth of personal investment.) If you really think abouu Claudia as a person instead of as an attachment or "obstacle" to LouisxLestat or some sort of "child", it's really not difficult at all why anyone could admire her. She could have folded at any time but she pushes on.

They match each other's "freak" AND sense of survivorship, basically.

Was it at first a little strange that she took an interest in Claudia before she ever saw her as a vampire or knew of her nature since Claudia is supposed to look like a teenager? And is Claudia's trappedness as adult-in-body define much of the material that developed into those traits I described? Yeah. But she's hardly a pedo if she has proven herself to see Claudia as an actual woman and treated her like she was one as if she instinctually knew she was (which is what I think happened)...unlike book Marius' weird attraction for kids.

[scalamore]

(Spoilers/Speculation) Tori

This is purely speculation on my part, but there's a chance that Tori's "ending" will be different in the manhwa than the novel. I say this, because Tori has gotten more focus in the manhwa thus far compared to the novel, and she's written in a way where the audience is intended to feel sympathetic to her situation. Here, it's more obvious there's a discrepancy to her: she cares about Lari/Rupert, but at the same time she doesn't. All the extra focus on the ribbon Lari gave her in S2 serves to show how "the sweet Tori" is still there. During the main story, she dies and is "finally at peace" during the rebellion. The whole point of that is that her suffering has ended, she no longer has to be compelled to obey orders from Eva forever anymore, and she's finally "free" (a big theme of the series is one's freedom and ability to make one's own decisions and choices). She doesn't appear in the first set of side stories (the epilogue), but has a small mention in the end, and a year and a half later, when the second set of side stories were released, she makes an appearance again as a "pure, untainted.... person (?)".

As a big fan of the series, I felt thematically the second set of side stories and Tori's inclusion and reasurrection kinda cheapens the theme of the main story - The end of the main story is supposed to be bittersweet, how you can't save everyone, and there is always a loss amongst the success. Eva had a tight hold of Rupert and Tori - and at least Rupert was able to escape her clutches. Tori had already died before the start of the series, was "living" as an alchemic doll for years, and lived long enough to have her thoughts and personality distorted by Eva's command for destruction. Since she had already died, there's no way she can return to being a human, which is what she truly wanted - she wanted to grow up and become and adult. But her other wish, is to be free and see RupeLali happy. During Lari's talk no jutsu, in that moment, Tori made her decision to stop listening to Eva, for RupeLali's sake. She then completely broke down shortly after - it was inevitable she would. Meanwhile, in the second side story which takes place an unknown amount of time later, her blue eagle core crystal had been absorbing the Holy City's holy energy in that lake for years, and she somehow manifests a physical body again?? (Her alchemic body dissolved into dust, leaving the crystal behind) and she lived for a period of time as a mysterious girl in the middle of the lake?? She had all her memories but didn't remember them until she conveniently meet Ellie and Rupert? It took Lari some more talk-no-jutsu and she immediately stopped trying to murder Rupert, and now they're all a happy family eating dinner together with Louis at the dinner table?? Tori now travels the world and acts like an auntie who sends souvenirs back to Ellie, yet still physically looks like a 9 year old? She's not a human, nor an alchemic doll... what is she then??? It's great at the very end Tori is now alive, has a family, a place to belong, is now happy and free to do whatever she wants, but I didn't like how RupeLali forgave her so easily (as well as her trying to murder Ellie and Rupert again), and forgetting how much trouble she caused in the main story... and she somehow was resurrected through some unexplainable reason to get a super happy ending, tied up with a nice bow.

I didn't like how kind Lari was, crying for Tori in the side stories as well and missing her so much: Did she forget how many times Tori tried to frame or kill her?? or threaten her?? Did Rupert forget that Tori had intentionally withheld info about Lari's plans to disappear while he was freaking out where she was that night? Or that she was the one who was going around spreading rumors Lari was a slut or framed her for poisoning him? I'm keeping appropriate expectations for the inevitable moment they give Tori a happy ending in S4 >_> *grumbles*

[troubatrain]

twisted in bedsheets - m. tkachuk

a/n: this is straight up smut.... like minimal plot mostly filth. but i hope you guys like it, i may give it a part two if anyone wants to see it but i don't know yet. big shoutout to my resident whores @hookingminor & @tkafuckit ily both sm

taglist : @barzysreputation

warnings: it's smush time (smut)

You almost wanted to make fun of him.

A part of you wondered, what did a single, twenty three year old, professional athlete who lived in a different country most of year need a house this big for? That wasn’t your business, and really neither was showing up two days after Matthew moved in with a bottle of wine and silly housewarming gift to make yourself feel better about where his little brother, also known as your best friend, was. You knocked loudly, hoping the car in the driveway meant Matthew was home and you weren’t wasting your time.

Matthew was inside, finally getting some peace and quiet after spending the day listening to his mother and the interior designer he hired argue about throw pillows. He jumped at the knock of his door, not used to the way it echoed through the house he bought on a whim. You were standing on the other side, bouncing on your heels with a bag in your hand and Matthew couldn’t help but smile.

Matthew always had a soft spot for you, Brady was your best friend and just like Matthew found himself watching out for Brady, he did the same for you. It was easy to keep it like that for years, Brady being far more possessive because you were his friend and not Matthew’s and not everything needs to be about you Matt, but it’d gotten harder lately. It was sudden, one summer Matthew came home and you were lounging by the pool and he swore his dick twitched in his pants, and it just wasn’t getting easier. It wasn’t easier when he tried to convince himself that there was an age gap between the both of you, even though it was barely two years and no one would blink an eye. It wasn’t easier when he beat the Senators and you quietly told him he had a good game because if Brady caught wind of it he’d lose his mind. And it sure as hell wasn’t easier when Brady mentioned your boyfriend constantly.

Your boyfriend who was having a party that Matthew knew for a fact Brady was at, but why weren’t you? Matthew couldn’t possibly get his hopes up, knowing if you were single he’d find some way to break your heart and you didn’t deserve that. That was the thing, Matthew ruined people and you were a far better person than he was to begin with. Matthew opens the door regardless, a smile on his face when he meets your eyes.

“Hi,” You beam, trying to play off like you were happy when you were just looking for a distraction that didn’t involve driving around and crying to Taylor Swift, “I, uh, congrats?”

Matthew chuckles, cocking his head to the side and opening his door a little further for you to come in, “Thank you, you really didn’t have to bring a gift.”

“It’s rude not too,” You scold, tapping Matthew in the arm and forgetting for a second you weren’t talking to Brady.

You pretended like you couldn’t feel it, the way his arms felt like a solid fucking rock and it was getting harder and harder to shove down that silly crush you’ve had since high school. You remember it so clearly, the moment Matthew went from Brady’s brother to just Matthew. You were a freshman, a dorky quiet kid who everyone knew not to mess with exclusively because Brady would kick the shit out of them, and you overheard a few girls in Matthew’s gossiping about how cute he was. Then it hit you, just as Matthew was leaning against his car to drive you home - he was cute. Cute turned into hot quickly, and you spent summer after summer wondering if you’d be bold enough to make a move.

You watched as Matthew pulled out the picture you’d framed for him, one his mother had taken of the three of you as kids. You were at the same ice cream shop you went to after every Blue’s game, chocolate ice cream smiles on your faces.

“You dropped your ice cream right after my mom took this,” Matthew hums, smiling at the memory himself.

“And you gave me yours because you felt bad for me,” You finish, hence the reason you chose that photo in the first place.

“You were crying,” Matthew nods, remembering the way his heart broke when he saw tears well up in your eyes. Even then, Matthew was a protector, constantly defending the people he held close to his heart, “Brady wouldn’t even share his… speaking of, isn’t there a huge rager you could be at right now?”

“Something about a party at my ex boyfriend’s doesn’t sound fun to me at all,” You sigh, hoping you wouldn’t have to explain it any further.

You didn’t have a boyfriend anymore.

It was all Matthew could process, his brain malfunctioning because he couldn’t believe it. Matthew gave you a sympathetic smile, “Let’s crack that bottle open then?”

You agreed, following Matthew into his yard to sit out by his fire pit, an early summer breeze making St. Louis unseasonably cold. He came back with two glasses, and you tried simply to ignore that his hands were big enough to hold both glasses in one, “So, Brady’s at a party at your ex-boyfriend’s place and you’re not mad at him at all?”

“I can’t be mad at Brady,” You explain, pouring yourself a glass of wine that was just a bit too big, “He doesn’t know what happened.”

“I thought you had no secrets,” Matthew questions, knowing that Brady knew everything about you and you were the same way. You turned your attention to the glass, swirling it in your hand while you seemed to shut down under Matthew’s gaze, “Y/N… it’s me, you know you can tell me.”

“It’s really embarrassing,” You whisper, “He cheated on me…”

“That’s not your fault,” Matthew scoffs, throwing an arm around your shoulders, “Why didn’t you tell-”

“He told me it was because the girl he was hooking up with was better in bed than me,” You whisper, Matthew closing his mouth immediately. He took a deep breath, his fingers scratching against your scalp while he looked straight ahead, “Please don’t tell Brady.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Matthew nods, his bottom lip between his teeth, “You’re perfect, and if he doesn’t see that he can go fuck himself.”

“What if he’s right?” You ask, taking a gulp of your drink. Matthew knew what road you were headed towards, one that was going to leave you insecure about this for the rest of your life if Matthew didn’t choose his next words carefully.

“He’s not,” Matthew shakes his head, hopping off the outdoor sofa you were on and kneeling down in front of you, “And you don’t need some douchebags opinion to make yourself feel good.”

“Would you sleep with me?” You ask, Matthew’s hand that had been rubbing your thighs gently stopped. You craved the validation, and a part of you always wondered if you had a shot with Matthew. If you were both able to drown out the noise from your friends and family, would he want you? Matthew’s hand crept up to your cheek, his thumb tracing your lip. You looked at him like this was the most important question he’d ever have to answer, and like if he said yes your lips would be on his, “And tell me I’m good.”

Matthew shut his eyes, running every possible scenerio knowing all of them include him fucking this up and hurting your feelings, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying. His lips ghosted over yours, stubble rough against your skin, “You’re sure about this?”

“Please,” You pout, not even bothering to give Matthew your best sexy face. You’d faked it enough, a year of trying to be something you weren’t to please some asshole who left for someone else anyways. Matthew’s hands slid on either side of you, his lips against yours and your hands on the back of his neck.

“Inside,” Matthew mutters against your lips, knowing if he didn’t stop himself now his new neighbors would get a show they didn’t ask for. You deserved better than that anyways. You snuck inside, your lips pressing kisses to Matthew’s neck while his arm stayed around your waist until you ended up in his bedroom. The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed, Matthew crawling on top of you, “I cannot believe that asshole let you slip through his fingers like that.”

“Make me forget about him then,” You let out a breath, Matthew smirking against your skin when you lit up that competitive fire he’d always had. You tugged at the bottom of his shirt, Matthew taking the hint and grabbing it from the back of his neck to toss off. Matthew’s hands slid under your shirt, unhooking your bra and swirling his finger around your nipples, pulling a moan from you.

“You even moan pretty,” Matthew could believe it, knowing just how many dreams like this, but really hearing it was something else entirely. Matthew shed your clothes quickly, leaving you just in your panties while he pressed kisses against your skin, murmurs of praise left in their wake.

“Matty,” You whimper, tilting Matthew’s chin up from where it was nestling between your thighs, “No one’s ever made me cum like this before.”

Matthew swore he was going to blow right there. The way your eyes looked into his, a trust that you were giving him that it was becoming clear you’d never given anyone. If it was anyone else, Matthew’s cocky nature would have broken through, a challenge accepted attitude that he couldn’t have with you.

You weren’t nervous but it wasn’t some secret that Matthew got around, and admitting something that seemed as trivial as what you’d told him was a big deal to you. Matthew’s blue eyes were soft, a small smile on his face, “We’ll go slow baby.”

And slow it was, Matthew was patient, trying to figure out what was going to get you off. His tongue was lapping at your core slowly, smirking at the way you squirmed whenever he got close to your clit. Your hands were in his hair, curling his overgrown hair around your fingers. Matthew’s tongue flicked your clit, your soft grip on his curls tighter, “Fuck, sorry-”

“Keep tugging on them,” Matthew groans against you, the vibrations sending a chill up your spine. His fingers were digging into your thighs, undoubtedly leaving a mark to worry about later, but you didn’t care. Matthew was eating your pussy like it was his last fucking meal, growing harder from the way you were moaning his name. You were close, your hips lifting off the bed and Matthew’s hands against your stomach to keep you right where you were. The only sounds echoing through that house were the ones from your orgasm, washing over you while Matthew finally pulled away. His finger swiped your core, sucking your cum off his finger, “Fucking delicious…”

You could feel the heat on your cheeks, holding your arm over your face from Matthew’s praise. He let out a light laugh, pulling your arm down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Don’t be insecure, when you’re with me you don’t have to be.”

You didn’t have a second to process his words, the way say with me like this was something meant to last more than a night, because Matthew’s lips were back on yours. Your hand snuck between you, palming him through his sweats and swallowing the groan with your lips, “I want to try something.”

Matthew’s brows raised, letting you push him onto his back without a fight. You’d never been the most confident in the bedroom, and you really never tried anything that wasn’t missionary, but something about Matthew’s praise had your head held high. You grind your hips against him, a smug smile on Matthew’s face, “You’ve never been on top before?”

You shook your head no, biting your lip and waiting for why have you had the most boring sex life imaginable laugh that should have followed. It never came, instead Matthew’s hands gripped your hips and lifted you up so he could kick off his sweats and boxers. His hand fell, searching through his bedside table for a condom, tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it onto his cock. He tapped your clit with the head, his thumb that was still gripping you was rubbing softly against your skin, “Whenever you’re ready babe.”

Matthew watched you sink yourself onto him slowly, biting his lip to stop himself from cumming too soon because this was hotter than anything he could have imagined. All of those fantasies included finding out you were secretly dirty as hell, but finding out you weren’t and the trust you seemed to give Matthew because he’d never done you wrong was even sexier. Matthew’s hands guided your hips slowly, his head thrown back from the pleasure, “Am I doing good?”

“You’re doing fucking wonderful baby,” Matthew groans, grabbing a fistful of your ass. You moan, falling forward and kissing Matthew’s jaw lightly. He threw his arm around your back, fucking up into you at faster pace, “I want you cum again, c’mon.”

“Matty, I-” You whimper, a protest that you didn’t think you had another one in you until your pussy clenched around him. Your legs were shaking, Matthew stopping himself before he got too rough with you. You caught your breath for a second, Matthew pushing your hair away from your face so he could kiss you. His kisses were gentle, a stark contrast from the fact that his cock was still buried inside of you. You tried to move, grind your hips against his to get him off like he’d just done to you, but your hips bucked from the sensitivity.

“Slow down babe,” Matthew hums, his large hand rubbing your back gently, “We’ll get there.”

Getting there wasn’t hard at all. Not after Matthew had you on your back so he could keep fucking you. You looked beautiful, moaning his own name below him like you’d never said anyone’s name like that. Matthew’s head was tucked into your neck, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours filling the room until he finally came with a loud groan.

When you finally came down from the after sex high, a realization washed over you. You’d had sex with your best friend’s brother. The same brother you’d spend years of your life with. Matthew walked into his bathroom, grabbing you a warm washcloth and a clean shirt from his closet. He got back into his room, glancing at the way you were looking around his room with his sheets over your chest unsure of whether or not you should leave. Matthew leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, “I want you to stay.”

“You don’t have to let me-” You start to protest, a weird feeling in your chest you couldn’t quite describe. You were a relationship type, hook ups weren’t your playing field and you knew Matthew lived by them. You never forgot it either, the way he slugged back a beer and looked Brady and yourself dead in the eyes and told you he swore he wasn’t built to last more than a night. Matthew chuckles, cleaning you up and throwing his shirt over your frame. He laid down next to you, pulling you against his chest and kissing your shoulder.

“I want you to stay here,” Matthew assures you, smiling wide when you tucked yourself into his side.

Hey Matty?

Yeah?

Don’t tell Brady about this.

Secret’s safe with me Y/N.

[justalildance]

becoming a louis girl is a core memory

+

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

(I know there’s a lot of new fans on fandom these days, so fair warning - this post has heavy spoilers of Merrick, the seventh book of the Vampire Chronicles. Scroll past this post if you don’t want to be spoiled.)

So, I’ve been skimming the books and thinking a lot about Claudia this week, and how changing her age will inevitably change so much about her core character and what direction the show may take with her, so I’ve been skimming Merrick quite a bit. It remains honestly such a baffling book, even many years after I read it. I actually do like Merrick, or the idea of her, but the way David speaks of her, the interactions with Louis... ugh.

But anyway, Claudia. In the books, Claudia becomes a woman trapped in the body of a five year old child. The heart of her fury and desire for revenge is the horror that her mind and her desires age with time while she will forever have the appearence of a very small girl.

And the thing about Claudia is that she’s one of the coldest, most merciless vampires because she’s pure vampire. Claudia was turned too young to have human memories, human sympathies or influences; her infancy memories are all associated with being a bloodthirsty murderer alongside her fathers.

This reflects a lot in the way that she decides to kill Lestat - it’s both a vengeful and a practical decision, and in the bits of her diary we see in Merrick, she frames that decision with the base that it would be easier for her to control Louis.

And it had to be Lestat, of course - since Lestat was the one holding back knowledge, the one who didn’t want them to meet the others, it had to be him that Claudia had to kill. But despite the many issues I have with Merrick (which are.... a lot), I do like how this is framed, because it fits with my conception of Claudia as a characters in the books - love and hate for her fathers in equal messure.

And a single mindedness to get what she wants.

Even as she discusses love and hate and the pain of her existence, there’s a coldness and practicity in Claudia that is reflective of the humanity she lacks. She's furious because she has the knowledge that Lestat and Louis took something irreplaceable from her whe she was turned, but she lacks the proper tools to properly mourn the loss of her humanity because she never fully experienced that.

In the show, I think a direction they could take is to completely flip around her character in the opposite direction.

After all, Claudia in the show will be turned at fourteen years old - right in the middle of her adolescence. Contrary to the books, she’ll remember humanity alright, and maybe? Maybe she could remember it too much.

Her tragedy will be to be forever stuck at her teenage years, not a child anymore but far from an adult, in an age where everything is too much and not enough and emotions run too high and too intense, and I think that, instead of being too cold and unfeeling, maybe she’ll be too passional and intense.

Everything is speculation right now (and the reason why I wanted to write this before she makes her debut), but I think this could be a possible direction for her character that they could take.

(In an unrelated last note about Merrick: this books still is baffling, but Louis’ goodbye letter and the part where he addresses Lestat still pulls a bit at my heartstrings.)

[kinsey3furry300]

5 ships I hate, why I hate them, how to (kinda) fix them, the better ships you should be doing in that universe, and why you should ignore me and keep writing them if it makes you happy.

Note: this is done for amusement, please don’t be offended; I’m not attacking your ship, I’m just listing some ships I do not always care for, and how I think they could be improved, and maybe made brilliant, by clever writing.

In no particular order, and focusing on ships that often annoy me, with no attempt by me to say anything meaningful or popular about the current state of any particular fandom. I’m also a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as a bad ship, only a badly executed ship, so my objections to these is less a dislike of shipping, or the paring, and more that they raise writing issues that I think are difficult to fix in a satisfying way. That’s why in a lot of the examples below I prefer AU ships to ones that try to messily work it into the cannon. Anyway, enjoy... I guess?

 Marco x / anyone (Animorphs)

Why I hate it: Animrophs is an intensely character-driven story, where the tension of each book comes from the conflicts, external and internal, that the five Animrophs (and Ax) face during a long, hard, traumatic war.  And while several of the character are paired off romantically, it’s always to emphasise character conflict over their different points of view. Jake and Cassie are a pair because Jake’s struggle with having to make hard, grey, morally ambiguous choices as leader is highlighted by Cassie’s burning need to make the right choice, the lesser evil, the choice that leaves some small shred of humanity and dignity and kindness left in this bleak world. Tobias and Rachel are a pair as their arcs deal with literal and figurative loss of humanity, as the slow accumulation of trauma over time turns these happy(ish), normal kids into psychologically ruined husks of their former selves and destroys them slowly, one fight at a time.

Marco’s arc, isn’t about either of these things: Marco’s arc, is about the bright, clear line between A and B, between problem and solution. Marco is a utilitarian, a pragmatist: his concern isn’t the burden of leadership, or the cost of the decision, but about how to put that all aside and make hard decisions that actually work regardless of cost. It’s not about what to do, the path is obvious: the bright, clear line of ruthless logic, but how to do it. His match, his counterpoint, the other character who’s all about the logic of taking awful decision in a way that actually works for the team, and his foil, his female counterpart in this, is not a romantic partner, but his mother: Visser one, making the exact same hard, difficulty ruthless decisions using logic and maths, but for the other side of this war. A romantic paring gets in the way of this arc because a partner doesn’t help him with that bright, clear line, and worse, any attempt to pair him of with either Rachel or Cassie breaks up not only a cannon paring, but their respective character arc.

How to (kinda) fix this: Marco’s arc is, at the end of the day, a trolly problem. So make sure whoever you ship him with is one of the people tied to the tracks. Introduce a character he crushes on, and then in the second act reveal that they are either a Controller, or in the family of a Controller or the proximity of the target of their next mission in a way that will make them collateral damage ,and let Marco struggle with what happens when that bright, clear logical line from A to B cuts through someone he actually loves; you know, like it did with his mother. See, even trying to fix this ship is weirdly Freudian.

The far better ship you should be doing: Ax x / EVERYONE. Ax in human form is described as a worryingly pretty, worryingly androgynous male of indeterminate race. He is a literally Bishonen alien hedonist with no familiarity with human senses, poor impulse control in human form, and no knowledge or understanding of human courtship rituals, and he can shape-shift, including into other members of the core team if needed to compel a mission, he calls Jake his prince,  and he is incredibly close to Tobias, the lonely outcast woobie that the LGBT fans adopted as their poster boy. Come on, the potential for shipping, both with wacky hijinks and sad, tragic star-crossed lovers’ trope is endless. Every line dedicated to Marco shipping is a line of text that could be dedicated to Ax trying to eat a Cinnabon erotically on his first date as a human and hulking out mid way because he forgot just how good they are. What could be better than him leaning into to erotically kiss a team-mate, and then fucking up due to his failure to understand human mouths, making weird mouth sounds, and then licking crumbs of the table in the middle of the mall, in front of the entire school, while his crush awkwardly tried to pretend this is normal? What’s wrong with you Marco-shipper people, do you hate fun?

 Riz/Tem (beastars) Why I hate this ship: Okay, just to quickly ask a question, to people who un-ironically like this as a serious ship and not a dark joke, just one little question: What’s wrong with you? I mean,are you okay? Keep taking the meds: the show is VERY clear on that point.

It’s like those people who say Joker X Harley Quinn is their ideal dark, edgy relationship: no it’s not, it’s abusive! Morticia x Gomez is dark and cool but CONSENTUAL and HEALTHY. This… this is a deeply imbalanced person murdering someone and telling themselves after that fact it was special and rare and magical. ITS HOMICIDE! And even if you write that out (and you shouldn’t, because that changes the character arc of every other major character) it’s still got more red flags that a soviet military parade. This is the botulinum of a toxic, one-sided teenage infatuation. Riz’s entire arc is about how he projects his thoughts and feelings about himself onto this idealised, made-up version of his and Tem’s relationship which, from Tem’s point of view, never existed. Riz never loved Tem: he loved the idea of Tem, the idea that someone would see the real him, see his inner pain and accept him anyway, but he never once told Tem this. He didn’t warn him “Hey, because of you I don’t feel I need my meds any more, do you mind if I try not taking them and we can meet and talk about this in a safe, well-lit pace?” He’s not honest with Tem, and on top of that It doesn’t make sense from the point of view of either of the characters for them to be actually, romantically in love (although  they were clearly close friends), because it undermines and cheepens Riz desire to just be seen and accepted for his real self, and the cannon Tem X Els ship. It also doesn’t make sense from a story point of view: Riz is a shadow archetype for Legosi. He’s what Legosi would have become if someone hadn’t interrupted his attack on Haru. That’s why Legosi needs to beat Riz with his own hands: because then he’s beating the darker version of himself he’s been carrying with him, and he can finally move on with Haru guilt-free. Having Riz and Tem’s relationship actually be what Riz imagined it to be undoes that. It undoes Riz’s interesting, dark inner struggle between truth and fantasy, it turns Tem’s tragic, unsolved murder that sets the entire story in motion into a just sort of weird Romeo-and Juliet suicide. It’s ruins the character arc not only for Riz, but for Legosi, and also, by extension, Louis and Haru, because Legosi’s internal angst over whether or not herbivores and carnivores can have a relationship as true friends needs this example of a tragic, flawed, toxic, failed friendship to bounce off of.

How it could (sort of) work: an AU where Riz’s attack on Tem is interrupted and Tem lives with a slight arm injury, and doesn’t tell anyone out of his complex feelings for Riz. Meanwhile, that bunny girl from the gardening club had been brutally devoured and Rz and/or Tem are so horrified with how close this was to their own near-miss, they start to investigate the murder, and in doing so get caught up in Louis’ inner struggle. Because that’s how the story needs to work, it’s about duality and struggle: and if Riz takes Legosi’s role, and by dating a herbivore he de facto takes the role, so Legosi must take Riz’s. This could be a great AU!

The better ship you should be doing: Pina/Riz (with a dash of Pina x Els), no, seriously, I’m not shitposting. You want to give Riz a redemption arc with a cute woolly boy? How about a story where Pina, out of a need for closure about at happened to him, starts to visit Riz in jail and they talk, mockingly at first, confrontational at first, but later Pina slowly becoming more fascinated in Riz and Tem’s life and asking Riz for more and more detail until they both bond over their shared traumatic experiences and their sense of loss for Tem’s senseless death, Tem’s unfished life casting a shadow over both off them. Eventually, the two of them find, from Legosi who still has the diary, that Tem had planned out an elaborate and beautiful first date with Els that he never got to take her on, and Riz, guilt ridden and sad than Tem never got this beautiful moment, decides to ask Pina take her on that date for Tem, with Riz coaching him by phone cyano-de-Bergerac style, Riz finally getting some closure that he helped one of Tem’s wishes come true and finally acknowledging to himself that Tem had a life and loves outside of him that were cut of short by his actions, and just crying over his lost friend, as Pina and Els slow-dance in Tem memory. Or if you just want to see Tem awkwardly date a carnivore boy from school, why not something less creepy and more wholesome and ship him with Jack? That would be cute AF, and more importantly, not romanticize brutal murder. Or an AU where everything is happy and nice, I’d argue at that it’s no longer Beastars at that point, but if it makes you happy, go for it. Let’s not shame anyone here.

 Snape X Lilly (Harry Potter)

Why I hate this ship: honestly, it’s not for the reason you think; I just like Snape too much as a tragic character, and making him in any way happy destroys his arc in my opinion.  The objection’s others have raised: that Snape acts in a worryingly possessive stalker-ish way towards Lilly, and that if Voldemort had gone for Nevil rather than Harry as a child Snape would have remained a loyal death eater, are true and I acknowledge them as having some validity, but that’s not why I can’t stand this ship. Snape is supposed to be a morally and emotionally complex, tragic figure. That “After all this time?” line was the best line in the Deathly Hallows.  Snape is supposed to show the equality destructive and redemptive power of  love. It’s sort of trinity: Lilly shows the pure power of true, unconditional love in her sacrifice to save Harry, Voldy shows what self-destruction and cruelty a life without understanding love leads to, and Snape sits somewhere in the middle: his one-sided  un-requited love being both the cause of his darkest, and his greatest actions. His curse, and his redemption, fall and rise. Making him happy messes that up.

How to (kinda) fix this ship: make them miserable. Make them fall for each-other only to be pulled apart by circumstance (you know, like they were in the darn original source material). You’re serious about making this a tragic, dark romance? Don’t ship them when they’re at school: Ship them during Voldemort’s rise to power, in the 80’s, after Lilly is married. Have the original Order of the Phoenix send her to meet with Snape and use their previous relation to try to milk some information out of him. Have her feel conflicted about it, have James furious about it, but have her do it anyway for the greater good. Have her meet up secretly with Snape who is angry and distrustful, knowing his must be a trap, and talk. Have the relationship slowly build over time against the backdrop of a cold-war spy thriller, as Lilly slowly realizes that she has some lingering feelings for Snape, but can’t reconcile them her loyalty to the order and her family. Make this a love story of conflicted feelings, divided loyalties, and spy-work against the background of drawing war-clouds. Have Snape offer to leave Voldemort, if she’ll leave the Order, and run away with him, but by that point she knows she’s pregnant and chooses to stay, out of loyalty even though she’s crushing on Snape. Have him show up at the rendezvous expecting for her to be there only for James to lead an Order Ambush, and a fight to ensure, on top of Tower Bridge in the howling wind and rain, Snape surviving but having his spirit crushed and fleeing before Lilly can tell him her true feelings. Make it big, and melodramatic, but above all, make it tragic.  Because that’s the only way Snape works as a character. Always.

The better ship you should be doing: Ginny X Nevil or Luna x Nevil: You want tragic lovers, at school, with divided loyalties, who never get together in the main cannon because a Potter ruins it and gets the girl? Ginny X Nevil. Write what was happening that final year Harry wasn’t at school when they took Dumbledore’s Army and make it work in earnest. Heck, you could even have Snape, as headmaster, hated by them but secretly trying to protect them as a secondary character to their secret, forbidden love. You don’t want to break up Harry X Ginny? Luna X Nevil is sweet and wholesome, but also tragic as they never get a chance, having their school life taken over by the horror of that final year and the need to fight for their very souls in a school run by Death Eaters and the trauma of the Battle of Hogwarts meaning that in order to put away the past and move on, they need to leave each other behind. Hell, do an AU where they canonically end up together, why not? They deserve happiness.

 Dean / Sam AKA Wincest (Supernatural)

Why I hate this ship: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. Several times.

How you could (sort of) fix this ship: You can’t: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. I guess a body-swap arc could fix this, as it’s less squicky if its just their bodies with someone else’s minds,  but seriously, the reasons why this shouldn’t exist are extensively covered in the show, and it was hilarious.  To be honest, I don’t hate this ship done as a joke, but I have seen some dark spots on the internet, and I can say with all honesty it’s not always treated as a joke. Some folks are really invested in this, and all I can ask is, is your home life okay?

Now, done as a joke, I’m 110% behind this. This is exactly the sort of insane wacky bullshit that makes for a good crack-fic. For example imagine that the supernatural threat of the week was book that made anything written in it come true, and the brothers are trying to find and destroy it, but they keep getting distracted by their burgeoning romantic feelings for each-other, and suddenly realise that the owner of the book is a fan on the in-universe novels, and writing slash-fic in the book. They need to find the writer before they make them do something they’ll both regret, but it’s just so distracting when Sam’s beautiful eyes are right there and- dammit, Sam, it’s happening again! Make Sam less concerned and even a little amused, with it, but make Dean hate what’s going on. Especially when the writer’s description suddenly makes Sam noticeably better hung that him. Make the villain turn out to be Becky from “Sympathy for the devil” and end with them trying to take the book away as she writes frantically to force them to do her bidding, and you’ve got yourself a good fic.

The better ship you should be doing: Cas/Sam or Cas/Dean or Cas/Sam AND Dean fic. Duh. Once again the show-runners beat the fans to the mark and pointed out that this is the best ship, and then they took it away just to fuck with us.

 Any Katniss ship that ignores her obsession with Emotional Security Logic. (The Hunger Games)

Why I hate these ships: Katniss is, briefly put, a mess before the books ever start, her father’s death and harsh upbringing have arguably given her PTSD before she ever volunteers for the reaping, and it doesn’t get better from there.  In psychology, Emotional Security Theory (EST) is a hypothesis that the heightened emotions surrounding repeated violent exposures leaves children vulnerable to dysregulated distress responses and eventual psychopathology, aka, why Kat be so messed up.  Her internal monologue makes the books completely clear that her choice in partners is not motivated by normal affections, but by deep, deep fear. A fear of loss, abandonment and death that leads her to make every decision about what minimises her, and her sister’s, exposure to potential physical and emotional harm. It’s frantic, fraught, cold survivalist thinking. And the other characters in the book notice and acknowledge it! “Which of us will she pick?” “She’ll pick whoever she can’t survive without.” Kat doesn’t like herself for it, but she does eventually admit to herself that she makes her decisions like this.

How do we fix this ship: Ship Kat with whoever you like, but give her a good reason to pick them: and in Kat’s mind “A good reason” is based on Emotional Security Logic, she needs to have a pressing reason why this ship makes her and her sister safer. Do that, and you’ve got yourself a good Katniss story. Don’t do that, and while you may or may not have a good story, the person staring in it isn’t Katniss Everdeen anymore.

The better ship you should be writing: Finick X Annie. Or, Haymitch prequel ships

FinAnn. This, this ship has some real potential to it, and is criminally underutilized. Finick and Annie’s relationship is one of the most tragic and romantic in the story, and has so much to offer. Or, if you want to have a hard-bitten character from district 12 struggling with trying to find love in the hellish combat of the games, do a prequel in which Haymitch finds love in the capitol during training, but loses then in the area and turns to drink as a result. Heck, you could even have some fun with this and turn it into a dark comedy, or a great tragic love story, whatever you like. It’s got potential, and his backstory is vague enough you could do a lot with it.

So, tell me below why I’m wrong, and have fun with your writing: just because I hate that ship doesn’t mean you should. Enjoy yourselves.

I’m off to write awful Ax/Pina/Luna Polyjuice’d into Nevil/Cas/Finick fiction set at an anime high-school that fights a magical war against other fictional schools, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[noxstellacaelum]

Filtering Female Characters Through the Male Gaze

Female characters filtered through the male gaze:  A (way) too long post about why we need a more diverse and inclusive approach to staffing showrunners, writers, directors, crew – heck, all roles -- in TV and movies.  

Yes, I know I am not the first person here on this.  

And note that while I have included a few tags b/c I talk about my frustration with Shadowhunters, Veronica Mars, the Irishman, Richard Jewell, and a few other recent shows/movies, I don’t get to this stuff until the very end,  I appreciate that fans may not want to wade through the entire essay, which (again), is a bit of personal catharsis.

I recently had a random one-off exchange with a TV writer on twitter.  The writer said that she had enjoyed the movie Bombshell much more than its Rotten Tomatoes rating would have suggested.  She wondered if the disconnect between her experience/perception of the movie and that of mainstream reviewers might have been shaped by gender: Specifically, she observed that Bombshell is a movie about women, but most reviewers are male.  

I have complicated feelings about Bombshell.  On one hand, yes, there was and is a toxic culture at Fox News.  Yes, Gretchen Carlson and Megyn Kelly were victims of that toxic culture.  But no, these women were not mere bystanders:  They traded in the racism, misogyny, and xenophobia (for starters) that still characterize Fox News today.  Why should these wealthy, privileged white women – both of whom spent many years as willing foot soldiers in the Fox News army -- get a glossy, Hollywood-approved redemption/vindication arc?  On the other hand, I am glad that the movie makers made a film about sexual harassment, and that the movie presented Kelly, in particular, as an at least somewhat complicated character.  This would not be the first time that a movie about women – especially complicated, and not always likeable women – has proven to be polarizing.

My ambivalence about Bombshell notwithstanding, the writer with whom I exchanged tweets is (not surprisingly, since she is in the industry and I am not) on to something when it comes to gender, character development and critical reception. It’s not just that Bombshell was about women, but reviewed largely by men; it’s that stories about female characters (real or fictional) often are filtered through the male gaze in Hollywood:  On many projects – even those focused on female characters – creators/ head writers are male, directors are male, showrunners are male, and producers are male.  This matters, because preferencing the male gaze impacts what stories about women get told, who gets to tell them, and how these stories are received inside and outside Hollywood.  

First, though, the caveats. I do not mean to suggest that men can never tell great stories about women.  Of course they can.   I also don’t mean to suggest that being female exempts creators, writers, directors, showrunners, etc. from sexism or misogyny (or any other forms of bigotry, as my discussion of Bombshell suggests).   There are plenty of women who prop up the patriarchy.  Rebecca Traister’s work speaks to this issue, as does the work of Cornell philosopher Kate Manne.  There is an important literature on the concept of misogynoir (misogyny directed at black women, involving both gender and race), a term coined by black queer feminist Moya Bailey, as well.  Intersectionality matters in understanding what stories are told, who gets to speak, and how stories are received in and outside Hollywood.  I also don’t mean to suggest that there are no powerful women in Hollywood.   Shonda Rhimes; Ava DuVernay, Reese Witherspoon (increasingly, given her role as a producer of projects like Big Little Lies), Greta Gerwig’s work in Lady Bird and Little Women, and others come to mind.  As I am not in the entertainment industry, I am sure others could put together a far more complete and accurate list of female Hollywood power brokers.  And, finally, I appreciate that Hollywood is a business, and people fund and make movies that they think their target audiences want to see.  So long as young, male viewers are a coveted demographic, we are going to see projects with women who appeal to this demographic onscreen.

Given these caveats, why do I think that the filtering of female characters through the male gaze is an issue? For me, it has to do with a project’s “center of gravity” -- that place, at the core of the project’s storytelling, where the characters’ agency and autonomy comes from.  It’s where I look to understand the characters’ choices and their narrative arcs.  When a character’s center of gravity is missing or unstable or unreliable, the character’s choices don’t make sense, and their narrative arc lacks emotional logic. Center of gravity is not about whether a character is likeable.  It’s about whether a character – and the project’s overall storytelling and narrative voice – make sense.  

When female characters are filtered through a male gaze, a project’s center of gravity can shift, even if unintentionally, away from the characters’ agency and point of view:  So, instead of charting her own course through a story, a female character starts to become defined by her proximity to other characters and stories.  She becomes half of a “ship” . . . or a driver of other characters’ growth (often through victimization, suffering, or self-sacrifice) . . . or mostly an object of sexual desire (whether requited or not).   Eventually, she can lose her voice entirely.  When that happens, instead of a “living, breathing” (yes, fictional, I know) character, we are left with a mirror/ mouthpiece who advances the plot, and the stories, of everyone else.

What are some recent examples of this? The two that I have mentioned recently here are Shadowhunters and Veronica Mars S4.  

- With SHTV, I will always wonder what might have been if the show – which is based on books written by a woman, intentionally as a “girl power” story – had female showrunners. Would an empowered female showrunner have left Clary, THE PROTAGONIST OF A 6 BOOK SERIES – alone on an NYC street in a skimpy party dress, in November, with no money, no ID, no mother, no father figure and no love of her life, stripped of her memories, her magic, and chosen vocation, as punishment, after she saved the world?  Would a female showrunner have sidelined Clary’s love Jace, and left him grieving and suicidal, while his family lived their best lives and told him to move on?  Would a female showrunner have said, in press coverage of the series finale, that the future of the Clary and Jace characters was a matter for fan fiction?  After spending precious time in the series finale wrapping up narrative arcs for non-canon and/or ancillary characters.  And to my twitter correspondent’s point, I guess I am not surprised that mainstream entertainment media outlets didn’t call out the showrunners’ mistreatment of Clary, and by extension, Jace, and the obliteration of their narrative arcs -- and yes, I am looking at you, Andy Swift of TV line (who called the above-mentioned memory wipe “actually perfect”).

- Likewise, with Veronica Mars, would a more diverse and inclusive writers room have made S4 Veronica less insightful and less competent than her high school self, or quite so riven with self-loathing, or quite so careless and cruel with the people in her life who love her?  Would a more inclusive creative team have made S4 Veronica less aware of the class and race dynamics of Neptune, yet more casually racist, in her mid-30s, than she was in high school?

- There are so many other examples from 2019.  Clint Eastwood falsely suggesting that a female reporter (who is now deceased and thus unable to defend herself) traded sex for tips from an FBI agent in Richard Jewell. Game of Thrones treatment/resolution of the Ceresi and Daenerys characters – where to even start.  Martin Scorsese’s decision to give Oscar winner Anna Paquin’s character a total of 7 lines in the 3-plus hour movie the Irishman.

- And, in real life, I wonder whether a Hollywood that empowered and supported female creators would make sure that people like Mira Sorvino and Annabella Sciorra got a bunch of work while also making sure that Harvey Weinstein never again is in a position of power or influence.   Same with female comics targeted by Louis C.K. Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose … the list is long, and Kate Manne’s work on what she calls “himpathy” is useful here.

To be clear, I am not saying that stories involving “ships” of whatever flavor, stories of suffering and self-sacrifice, and stories of finding (or losing) intimate relationships are “bad” or “wrong” or inherently exploitive of female characters.  I don’t think that at all.  I also don’t think that female characters have to be perfectly well-adjusted, virtuous, or free from bias, or that they should never be make bad choices or mistakes.  I want female characters who are flawed, nuanced.  I don’t mind lives that are messy, or romantic entanglements that are complicated.  Finally, I don’t think that that faulty, reductive, or unfair portrayals of female characters is a new thing.  Mary Magdalene was almost certainly not a prostitute, after all.  And classicist Emily Wilson – the first woman to translate the Odyssey into English – has brought a hugely important perspective (including an awareness of how gender matters in translation) and voice to the translation and study of canonical characters and works.

At the end of the day, I just want female characters to be able to speak with their own voices, from their perspectives.  I want them to have their own, chosen, narrative arcs.  I want them to speak, act, see, and feel as autonomous individuals, with agency, and not just in reference to others.  And, I think that more a more diverse and inclusive approach to staffing writers rooms and in choosing show runners, directors, and key positions in storytelling would help.  

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [2/5]

+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past.

+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Romantic Option #2: Warren Graham

Uhm.... Warren’s a person in this story, too.

He, uh, he’s really nerdy. He does some science shit. He has a huge crush on Max which is made very obvious by the everything about him. Uh..... he took a fist to the face and got a black eye because he was helping Max, uhm.... he took a picture that was pretty important to the plot... um....

I literally can’t remember anything else about him.

I couldn’t even remember his last name. I had to look up his wiki to remember anything about him.

That’s how forgettable he is.

Hell, fans of the game took his character and made him more interesting in fanart and fanfics than he ever was in the game! I remember more about THAT version of him than I do about the him in the canon of the game!

I gave you that whole bit about Chloe from memory. That’s how much more fleshed out and important she is within the game than Warren is. Everything I’m about to talk about here if from reading his wiki and remembering things that way.

We meet Warren and find out that he’s into nerdy shit like Max. He’s also obviously into her and does a shit job at hiding that fact, but then Nathan comes over and beats the shit out of him because plot.

When I first played, it was pretty obvious that Warren would be romanceable, and truth be told, I liked Warren. He was fine! He’s dorky and weird, but I thought he and Max could potentially be a cute couple, and so does the rest of the school since you can’t talk to any of the girls without them implying that Warren likes Max.

I kept waiting for Warren to be important, but it never really came! I mean, you could talk to him and help him with a science experiment [in which he fucking blows up] and you text him a lot. Oh, and you can go to a Planet of the Apes marathon with him which you never actually get to go to, but the game constantly reminds you that you’re going because Warren won’t shut up about it.

Let’s see, he also sends you instructions on how to build a bomb so that you can break into the principal’s office, and then he beats Nathan up, and then he shows up and takes a picture of him and Max that ends up being important in the final episode and then.... he doesn’t do much else.

Well, okay, he does talk about Max’s powers a little bit in ep5 and you can give him a smooch or hug him or disregard him completely.

And that’s about it.

........Wait a minute.

A boy with boyband hair who has extensive chemistry knowledge, knows how to make bombs, uses said bombs for pranks, gets fucked up by one of the antagonists AND was a throwaway character that the writers threw in there to further the plot along but doesn’t really do much so the fandom took him and made him better than the game ever gave him credit for...?

.....Welp, that’s a whole thing that I’m not gonna get into. One post at a time, folks.

ANYWAY

Back on topic, Warren’s a romanceable character, apparently. You can agree to go on a date with him and smooch him. You can tell people you think he’s cute. It’s fine.  

With all that about these two choices in mind, compare Warren to Chloe.

There is no comparison because Warren’s “romance route” is... is nothing! It’s a whole lot of little things that don’t amount to much! With Chloe, Max has all this chemistry and you spend 90% of the game with her! You forget that Warren exists until you get another text from him or another character brings him up!

You know what Warren feels like? He feels like a character that the writers threw in because they were worried that players wouldn’t want a tragic wlw love story between two best friends, who reconnect and fall in love over the course of five episodes.

Which, fair, because people are idiots.

Could they have made Warren more important? Sure, but like with Skybound and Telltale, they didn’t have an unlimited budget to pack everything they wanted into the game to make it better, and that’s not just limited to the relationships, that’s clear in the endings we got. And I’m sure that some Warren stans will read this and retaliate and tell me that he’s just as important than Chloe, I just don’t understand because I’m a shithead.

And maybe that’s true, but look me in the eye and tell me that if you took Warren out of the game, it would have drastically changed the story beyond repair.

Now, what does all this mean?

Compare Chloe and Warren to Louis and Violet as far as love interests go and how they were handled.

In TWDG, Louis and Violet are fairly even.

In LIS, Chloe and Warren aren’t even in the same universe. It doesn’t matter if you like Warren more, or if you like Chloe more, Chloe got more time and effort put into her story and romance than Warren did.

Think of it like this: Chloe is at a 90% and Warren 10%.  Louis is at 48% and Violet’s at 52%, and that’s depending on how you look at it.

If TWDG did the routes like this, then Violet would’ve been way more important, would’ve have ten times as many scenes with Clementine, and if you took her out of the story, the whole thing falls apart because she’d be 90% of the plot, while Louis over here would’ve been used as background noise and plot convenience once or twice. Sure, we would’ve gotten to know him a little bit, but not nearly anything substantial and not nearly as much in comparison.

That’s what we could’ve had, okay? The writers could’ve given us a single love interest and said: “We want you to pick this person... but we’ll also throw in this other person just in case y’all are homophobic/racist/fucking stupid/whatever.”

In conclusion: We were blessed with Louis and Violet who each got an arc and love story, both of which are fairly even. 

Have I made my point yet? No? You need more examples? Fine. I’ll give you another alternative to what we could’ve had, or rather, what we could’ve missed out on.

[Note: I want to add that I haven’t played Life is Strange 2, but I know that its playable character is also bisexual and can choose between a boy and a girl to romance, but I can’t comment on how well it did because I’ve yet to play it.]

[persona 4 and the relationships you can’t have]

This one time I tried to romance my partner but he was too busy trying to convince everyone that he’s straight to even notice.

Persona 4 is a game that came out in 2008, then re-released with new content in 2012 under the name Persona 4: Golden. The game follows your nameable protagonist who has just moved in with their uncle and cousin. During his year-long stay, he becomes involved in investigating mysterious murders while harnessing the power of summoning Persona. 

Great game, one that took over my life for about a year. Great characters, great voice acting, great story, great antagonists, and great romance and romanceable characters. 

While the romance is more of a side thing depending on if you decide to take that route with one of your social links, it’s still nice to have special moments with them to break away from all the TV murder and whatnot. 

And you have several great options to choose from! You’ve got Chie, Yukiko, Rise, Naoto, and then you’ve got several other girls around the school that you can start a thing with, but they’re not as important as those core four. 

Each of the girls has an incredibly well-written story and share a deep bond with you, the protagonist. So, the reason I’m putting this example here is that the choice between all these great girls is super hard, right? 

Wrong. 

Because when I played the damn game, I didn’t romance any of them. Not because I didn’t like them or because I didn’t want my character to have a romance, but because the asshole I WANTED to romance wasn’t an option. 

Because I’m not allowed to romance the dudes. 

And that includes this dude. 

Yosuke Hanamura

Remember that pin I mentioned about how great it is that Clementine’s bi because not only does it give us well-deserved representation but also allows the player to romance both girls and boys? 

The Protagonist of Persona 4 is not bisexual. 

I can only romance the girls because he is straight. 

But not really, because MY Protagonist pursued and sought after Yosuke despite the fact that the game would not let me romance him. Which is bullshit, because he clearly feels the same way, and no, that’s not my crazy brain making shit up. 

My entire playthrough was pretty much 

I won’t get into it because Persona is a long game and a complicated one to even try and explain to someone who hasn’t played it so that’s another rant for another day, but know this: 

Yosuke was the perfect opportunity to tell the story of a boy dealing with internal homophobia, falling in love with his best friend [PARTNER] after the girl he cared about died horrifically and faced his shadow learned to accept himself and his insecurities. The potential here was wasted. 

There are a shit ton more layers to that, but on the barest of bare-bones, that’s what I wanted. 

Hell, according to a bunch of people, Yosuke was going to be a romantic option, but they scrapped it! Insult to injury, I’ll say!

Comparing this to TWDG, you could argue that Clementine only gets to romance Louis and Violet, but some wanted to romance Mitch, Aasim, Brody, ect. 

Fair enough, but what I’m saying is this:

It sucked that I couldn’t romance the person I wanted to when I played Persona, and it still sucks every time I play a game and my person of desire is unattainable. This isn’t just Persona, that’s just the first game that comes to mind when I think about characters I always wanted a romance, but that includes all the other missed opportunities from other games, as well.

The Final Season is different. 

The writers of TFS could’ve said, “Oh you want to romance Louis/Violet? Oh no, sorry, we were gonna do it but we changed our minds! But, don’t worry, we’ll leave hint after hint that they have feelings for you but you can’t actively pursue them. Allow us to tease you with the wonderful romance that could’ve been! Midnight piano lessons! Conversations under the stars! Lots of smooches! You’ll never see it in canon!”

Or, they could’ve only given us one of them, but that’s the topic of the next game. 

In conclusion: They didn’t have to give us Louis and Violet or make them romanceable. If you want Clementine to have a relationship with them, you have the option to do that, which is something you can’t say with other games.

Continued in Part 3

[thesleepingxdragon]

Let’s give a warm Hogwarts welcome to ROSE WEASLEY, the daughter of Ron Weasley and Hermione Weasley (nee Granger). She is a Gryffindor from the class of 2024. This role is CLOSED. You can learn a little more about her below.

a quick look:

Her wand is a Pine wood with a unicorn hair core, 10″ and hard flexibility.

Her patronus is a mink.

She does not have an animagus form.

She played chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Her amortentia smells like new parchment, the smell of the air before it rains, and unbeknownst to her, the scent of Scorpius Malfoy.

She has been described as ambitious, bossy, dauntless, and overly competitive.

a deeper look:

Rose embodies just a little bit of her mother; Rose is ambitious, and since her mother is Hermione Granger, she has a lot to live up to. They’re quite similar in the fact they put a lot of pressure on themselves and that Rose just wants to do the right thing. Rose is like her mother, but more secure, more grounded; She was born to wizards and knows her place in the world. Bossy, but deeply lovable, Rose is said to have inherited her mother's intelligence, such as Hermione's rumored photographic memory. She also goes as far as to put on her robes before needed, like her mother did at her age. Her father's encouragement to beat Scorpius Malfoy academically makes a deep impression, and she turns out to be rather competitive and academically excellent like her mother. During her time at Hogwarts, Rose becomes fairly popular. She excels in all of her classes, as well as Quidditch. Her natural born leadership capability sets her up to become Prefect, Quidditch Captain, and inevitably Head Girl. She is close to several of her cousins, specifically; Dominique, Louis, and Lily.

[healisms-blog1]

❝ the good girl is always a ghost, the body is always a wound. ❞

( katherine mcnamara. 23. she/her. ) we spotted MARIELLA CAULFIELD around toledo today, just another gear in the machine of the apocalypse. i heard she is a MEDIC for CAMP SEROTONIN. i guess it fits, seeing as she is known to be + resilient & + charitable, as well as - impatient & - naïve. they often have fade by lewis capaldi in their head while they work. i wonder if they’re prepared for what’s coming ? ( faye. 22. est. she/her. n/a. )

life as she knew it,

Born to Louise Brodeur and Darby Caulfield in the midst of a very cold winder night in Leavenworth, Washinton, Mariella Caulfield was the product of a unconventional relationship. Despite their new addition, both refused to settle down into an indifferent, loveless marriage and instead agreed they would work to raise their daughter separately. Once she was able to walk she would spend time split equally between Washintong and New Orleans, Louisiana. It was often that her parents fought on what values to instill into her, their core values and expectations never quite lining up.

Her father wanted her to be raised to live life as she pleased, whereas her mother would have preferred she was brought up in a more traditional sense. As a result, Mariella had very different relationships with her parents. To her dad, who she mirrored in more ways than one, she could do no wrong. Her mom on the other hand, she had grown to detest her daughter more and more with every visit. She reminded her too much of her father, a man she loved more than anything to hate.

The friction between she and her mother eventually came to a boiling point at age ten when child protective services were called to their townhouse by a neighbor. The elderly women next door often overheard screaming between the two of them and worried she might be abusing her child. The charges were investigated and eventually dropped, but the memory of being ripped from everything she knew and ( while briefly ) shoved into foster care has always stuck with her. While Louise was technically not guilty of anything, she did very little to prove otherwise once her parental rights were restored.

Even as a young child Mariella was the type who wanted to get out and explore, to meet as many people as possible and learn from them as she went. Being raised by two teachers really set her love for learning into motion. Knowledge above all else was something her childhood was rooted in, and the fever to learn stuck with her well into her time in school. There was no one subject she enjoyed more than the other, but she had a particular penchant for STEM classes. She went through all the changes in potential career growing up; from wanting to be a ballerina, an astronaut, to even considering following in her parents footsteps and becoming a teacher; which is how they met.

On a particularly hot afternoon in the middle of summer, her father began complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath. At first he assured her that it would go away, he would be fine. But as the night persisted and he wasn’t getting any better, she dialed 911 in the hopes that emergency response would make it on time. From the minute she arrived at the hospital she was captivated by the process and found herself asking questions to anyone who would speak to her. Mariella was thirteen then, and everything seemed to have fallen into place. Funny as it was, she found her calling through her father’s heart attack.

It wasn’t until she reached university that she really started experiencing the world for what it was, and she quickly felt like a fish out of water among the masses. As such it was rare you’d find her without at least two books tucked under her arm. Being a medical student took up the majority of her life, the courses work-heavy and requiring immense concentration, but she tried to be as social as she was dedicated to her education. Given she graduated high school at fifteen, the girl pushed herself to mingle with people across the board rather sticking to one fixed set of friends. At her core she believed all people had something more to discover beyond what was shown at face value, thus she made connections wherever she was able.

Graduation from Med school arrived in a whirlwind of emotion, mostly exhaustion and relief. While as happy as she was to be finished with the bulk of her studies and onto the next stage of her impending career, Mariella knew this was one of the last times she’d have to well and truly enjoy being young before fully engulfing herself into the workforce. So, rather than sticking to her typical plan, she decided to celebrate on an impromptu trip to Ireland, setting off with nothing but a quickly packed suitcase and whatever money was left in her bank account.

the start of the outbreak & onward,

September 25th, 2015. Crowded among a group of strangers underneath an airport television, word of the outbreak begins spreading on television. Everyone within the confines of the Louis Armstrong airport in New Orleans were on edge following the story dropping, numerous people began panicking. Rather than feeding into outcry, as nothing around her seemed to be out of the ordinary, she pushed it from her mind as she boarded her connecting flight to Europe. Only, the plane never left the ground.

Ten minutes after their plane finishes boarding, all of the passengers find themselves face-to-face with one of the creatures. Being small and quick on her feet played in her favour as she quickly maneuvered through the plane, narrowly escaping the bloodbath with her life. A good few of them survived the ordeal and decided to stick together, spending the initial night of the outbreak holed up in a supply closet. The group separates the next morning, each hoping to return to their respective families. She, however, blindly decides to make a run for it.

Alone, unarmed, and terrified, she did the best she could for someone in her situation. They—whatever they were—began surrounding the gas station she holed herself up in, making any chance at escape very slim. Convinced she’d die there, whether by starvation or from being attacked when the reinforcements on her door gave way, Mariella began plotting an escape route. She knew very little about the outbreak as it stood, but was observant enough to notice that if they were distracted by a loud noise, she could make her way around without much trouble.

The next week or so is spent coming in and out of abandoned houses and scavenging whatever she can carry. Mostly everything she took was medical supplies, building herself quite the kit should she need to help someone in need. By that point her initial adjustment to the new world went by quite horribly. As time passed she quickly found that the more ‘savage’ way of living was not the one for her.

At first of the mind that the creatures were still people underneath the dirt and decay, Mary refused to kill them. To her, they could still be saved. There would be a cure. There had to be, right? Before she joins a group or finds a solid place to call home, a close encounter with a hoard is what changes her mind. Someone steps in to save her, and she’s felt indebted to them ever since. The near-death experience acted as a wake up call, and from that point on she stopped avoiding the inevitable; to survive, the undead had to be exterminated. The possibility of a cure ( or at the very least a vaccine to help the remaining humans ) still plays in the back of her mind.

The person that rescued her disappeared as quickly as they swooped in to aid her, but she got lucky shortly after and found a few people to travel with. Everyone within her group seemed to be handling the transition with relative ease — whereas she found herself keenly aware that she would not survive long if not for having capable people surrounding her. Though she may not be the greatest in combat or of much use when it comes to scavenging, she knows she’s a valuable asset in other ways, happily putting her medical knowledge to good use.

January 14th, 2016. Catching wind of a camp called Serotonin beginning a slow recruit of people with varying abilities, Mariella is among the first to offer her expertise. Thankfully she’s welcomed with open arms and feels she may have found herself somewhere much more permanent to call home. Trust doesn’t come so easily in their new world, though she’d certainly lay her life on the line if it came to down to protecting her people. Any people, actually, because prioritizing human life above all else is her number one goal. When she’s not tending to the ill or injured, the young woman proudly acts as a morale boost, doing whatever she can to keep everyone around her going. Where most people have seemingly given up hope on there ever being a way out, let alone a real chance of survival to the end, she remains fixed in her belief that there are better days ahead of them.

misc,

Basically, she’s kind, gentle, soft, dedicated, passionate, thoughtful, stubborn.

She’s a certified Mom Friend™ and proud of it.

Would literally go to any length necessary if it means keeping those she cares about safe. She honestly just wants to save people in general !!!

She tends to see the best in people, even those who don’t deserve a moment of her time, and tbh, she’s not to be trusted when it comes to making allies; she’s liable to take in the wrong people and get herself killed.

She’s not helpless, she can get things done when needed, but she can’t fully defend herself. Aka, she ABSOLUTELY needs training.

wanted connections,

I’m not very picky, I’d love any and everything under the sun, but here are a few potential ideas:

Maybe someone she met travelling between baton rouge and the reservoir, who helped keep her alive and she aided them medically

Friends and/or a close/best friend

A good influence, someone who brings out the less tense, more relaxed version of herself

Maybe an ex or a past fling??? idk

Someone to help train her!! homegirl really needs to learn how to use a gun and fight (honestly, bc Kat has good content from Shadowhunters and Arrow and I rly want to use it)

People outside of her camp that she helps, bc honestly she wouldn’t be able to resist doing whatever she can to  aid people, especially helping a rouge if they came to her

idk just pls gimmie all the connections/plots AhH!