#because. like ending up in kirkwall. having the tome (and facing consequences for it) is part of isabella's story regardless of

[crqstalite]

9 for Evolet and Fenris.

oof this one got away from me a bit, but was interesting to get into evolet/fenris’ headspace, mostly because her own mirrors mine lol. less focused on their relationship and more focused on the fact that evolet both needs a nap and a little less instant trust in people.

for the angst prompt:  “People will only use you. They can’t be trusted.”

prompts!

word count: 2,428

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At first, it’s hard to figure what makes her tick. Moreso what doesn’t. But always with her heart on her sleeve in the same moment, emotions always flickering over her expression like a flame. There is not one person in Kirkwall that doesn’t know that, there is not one person that accompanies her during the day that doesn’t already understand that.

Evolet Hawke is...an enigma at times. Guarded, careful. Stepping quietly around as if she’s forced to as not to disturb a sleeping dragon. Analytical, if not also quiet.

And yet? Fenris still can’t wrap his head around her.

How is it that she keeps parts of her locked away with a key she has hidden somewhere, but nothing else is? How is it that everyone else seems to be more important than herself, as she takes hours and days out of her life to assist them with tasks she has no business getting involved with?

She wants to help every single person they come across on the street, she wants to never leave someone at the mercy of their attackers. They can never just turn a blind eye to anything. That is one of the few things she never has much difficulty thinking about.

Fenris lies in wait for the day that comes back to bite her. Not that he’d want anything to happen to Hawke, no, but he knows what she’s doing isn’t healthy. How often does he actually see her return to the estate? Sometimes the only response he gets is that Aveline needed help with this or that in a patrol. Sometimes Merrill needed something and she just had to give a hand. Or that she and Isabela had gone out by themselves to complete a task no one knew about.

Does the woman ever sit down to take care of herself these days?

He doesn’t get his answer, not for years. But little things start to shift under that smile of her’s. There’s an air of vulnerability when she arrives to his mansion a few odd times in that fateful year, but always a few words, phrases kept for herself. He never gets the full story, but then again he’d be a hypocrite if he asked the same from her but not from himself. Her company is always appreciated, and he never prys, but he has some concern for the woman anyway. It only gets worse the closer they grow.

What the terrifying bit is, is truly that she never considers that someone could be using her goodwill for their own gain. How often she doesn’t defer to her own judgement if someone makes a good enough case with her. He saw it with Petrice, saw how easily she coerced Evolet into helping under the guise the Chantry needed her. He saw nearly just how easily Feynriel’s mother convinced her to send him to the Circle for her own mind to be set to rest -- which he knows better than anyone that she’d hate to go there herself. However her only response is ever that they just needed her, and if she didn’t help, then who would?

He can think of about twenty people, all who’s names weren’t Evolet.

He sees the cracks starting to appear towards the end of her fourth year in Kirkwall. When her helping and trust in the City Guard towards the investigation into Quentin only leads to her mother’s death at the hands of a blood mage. The thought of one makes him shiver, almost enough that he doesn’t really want to accompany her much longer, but when he asks if she’s okay...that damn cheeky smile she gets whenever someone gets too close to the truth. The way she’s more despondent as the days afterwards drag on, but much too fast to cover it with a mask instead, refusing to acknowledge that she’s in pain.

They’re still on shaky terms then, while he might have her crest, they hadn’t spoken in weeks by that point. He doesn’t say what he needs to. Comforting her is out of the question -- he wouldn’t know where to begin.

When she discovers what Isabela had done, it is a day Fenris never thought he’d ever see. He’d never really thought Isabela would use her in such a manner, and yet, she just let’s her go. He sees her hands fall to her sides after she leaves, tome in hand and surely racing for the docks before the storm starts. Flames lick her palms before the mage puts them out, the only instance he’d ever seen her magic flare without true intention. Aveline had placed a hand on her shoulder, but Evolet had jerked it off, then running a hand through her hair.

“It’s fine. It’s fine! We can get them out another way, I wouldn’t just sell Isabela out, I couldn’t,” Her voice wavers before setting her face into one of slight amusement, “That one really came out of left field, didn’t it?”

“Hawke...” Aveline starts to chastise her, surely for the same reason he was about to, “This really isn’t a proper time to be joking about this.”

“I’m not ‘joking’ Aveline, it will be fine, as long as we keep level heads,” Her eyes are downcast as much as she tries to replace it with a smile, one he can see right through, “I just...wasn’t expecting Isabela to do that, is all.”

He doesn’t say anything, even though he probably should. If Kirkwall hasn’t been destroyed by the end of the night, he’d have to sit her down proper and talk. Since no one else would, and no one else seemed to see the lesson she was so desperately missing.

She’s in pain, and she won’t even say a word about it. She and Isabela had been friends if their interactions were anything to go by, and Evolet had put her trust in the pirate. He tentatively asks how she’s handling it shortly after her duel with the Arishok, but she brushes it off in favor of wrapping a bandage around his hand -- ignoring the question. A beat of silence that goes on much too long until she launches into another attempt at humor.

Her eyes are darker than usual. Her hands tremble more, and yet, she says she will still be friends with Isabela anyway. Because that is simply who she is. Good, loving and caring Hawke.

It wasn’t until three years after that does he finally get the conversation going, while they’re preparing for a trip into the sewers no less. Anders is walking some ways behind them, talking to Varric. He might as well say it now, away from prying ears and air his concerns, “Hawke.”

She looks over her shoulder, slight smile already on her face when he sighs, “Yes, Fenris?”

“Do you not wonder what the mage has us doing?”

“I...why would I? I wouldn’t want to remain possessed if I didn’t have to. If there’s a will, then surely there’s a way, right?” She asks, gently bumping into shoulder. He flinches, though he would admit it’s a welcome touch. And yet she’s ignoring every red flag that the abomination has set up since they left the clinic. In favor of what, remaining friends?

Mages. Though...she’s just naïve. Or ignoring the issue entirely.

“And if this isn’t it’s intended purpose?” Fenris queries. He has his own suspicions about Anders, one’s that were never properly taken care of over the last few years, mostly because he had begrudging respect for the man and second, because Evolet would never let him hear the end of it.

He knows that the people they go out with are using her -- whether for her status or the friendship she hands out like candy, or in her case, sovereigns to little street children, “You’re aware he is using you? Because you can not say no to him, it is no wonder he came to you first with this issue.”

A look of veiled shock crosses her eyes, yanking at her sleeve as if she’s considering his words. Good, she understands him then. She glances over her shoulder, then back up at him, “He wouldn’t do that, Fenris. I thought you were better friends with him, you don’t need to be so suspicious,” He bites the words back, but she powers on anyway, “What if I ended up possessed? If Anders had a way to undo it, to save my life, wouldn’t you do the same?”

He doesn’t answer that, enough so that he thinks she knows the answer. He’d never heard of such a way, though he could attribute that to not being a mage. Considering that she’d mulled it over herself though, and that Anders spoke of it like it’d never been done before -- to say the least he doesn’t trust this course of action.

And yet, she does. It never matters to her, she’s always looking for the best in people, even if they don’t deserve it. No matter just how tired she is, no matter just how much she should really take care of herself first -- she always puts everyone else before her. He can’t ignore either, with how much she toes the line between nurturing and foolish these days, so he does what he can so that she doesn’t end up paying for it later down the line. The mage and dwarf slip past him in the sewers, but Evolet pauses while he holds the trapdoor for her, “Please trust me, Fenris.”

“I am by your side, Hawke.” He means it, that part is entirely genuine. However, it is still unsettling how all she does is give him a grin and disappear into the depths.

Whether Evolet trusted him or not, no one could’ve expected something so miniscule and unsuspecting to cause the civil war that began in Kirkwall some weeks later. She’s beyond upset, beyond terrified when she has to choose a side between the Templars and Magi ruling the city -- Meredith has never been all there, but he’s grateful when she chooses her anyway.

And to deal with the mage -- the bloody abomination. She’s hesitant, and he can see the thoughts rushing through her head like a tidal wave in her shaky movements. Most likely wondering how he could ever do something this, mirroring her companions thoughts.

She trusts far too easily. Finally he’s able to put it in words, and...finally she sees the consequences of it. Fenris highly doubts Anders would’ve been capable of such a crime without her help. Without any of their help. Without her help, he doubts Merrill would’ve gone down her path with the Eluvian. Without her help, he doubts Isabela would’ve gotten away with stealing the tome all those years ago.

He can catch snippets of their conversation, his voice resigned and her’s shaking ever so slightly. Poised and graceful, as she always was, but she’s trying to convince him to help. Trying to convince him to right his wrongs and stand with her.

He refuses.

Fenris can pinpoint the exact moment her demeanor changes. When her trust has been snapped in two, and she sees the ugly reality -- the truth behind what she’s enabled.

Evolet surprises him when she unsheathes her knife from where she carries it on her hip. Swift and silent, it finds a home in the mage’s back, shoved in between his shoulder blades. Merrill gasps behind a hand, shocked by her friend’s actions, surely.

It’s destroying her on the inside, he knows that it is. Her eyes are downcast and watering when she eventually picks up her staff again, leaving the knife where it was. She doesn’t give it a second glance, and merely nods to Aveline’s suggestion to head to the Gallows. Once they’ve made it through the mage’s that are putting up a true fight on the Docks (he nearly feels some semblance of regret, leaving them behind like that. He tries not to look at Evolet, how she’s struggling to throw out her more lethal attacks against people who were just like her), it’s silent.

Evolet stands in the back of the small boat they’d procured, back turned from the rest of her party. Whispers, quiet discussing what they’d do when they got there. Merrill, softly sobbing into Isabela’s arms over the loss of Anders is all he can hear. Her arms are gently wrapped around herself, eyes out to the burning horizon when she leans against the mast.

He’s careful, quiet as not to startle her. And yet, there’s still a sad smile, quirking the corners of her lips up when she glances over her shoulder. It’s not real, he’s learned to see past it now, it’s a buffer so no one sees her at her worst -- or sees her for who she is.

He’s never seen her cry before. Not when her brother was taken to the Wardens, not when her mother died. She’d always been so strong, helping everyone else through their own tears, their own fears. She’d been there with him when Danarius had died, and had generously accepted him back into her heart. Evolet had been there for Merrill, when her Keeper died and stayed for days with the younger Elven woman in her home in the alienage, even if she looked genuinely exhausted herself. All these things, no matter the toll they took on her, she simply accepted.

Piled onto her were responsibilities beyond her years, piled onto her were problems she couldn’t always solved but tried to, piled onto her were people that depended on her like no others. And never did she ever show that true emotion that came with the stress. He’d thought she liked the guise, liked to act.

But with the fires illuminating her face, and the world forever changed, tears are slipping down her face ever so quietly. Her hands are wrinkling the clothes she wears, stained with blood and clutched like a grounding force. Ice is under her boots, if not a testament to just how little control she has over her will now.

Evolet goes to him, leaning her head against his chest first then her arms go around him, grasping at the fabric on the back of his tunic. He’s never been one for outright touch, but it’s comforting instead of unwelcome, regardless of the circumstances.

He chooses his words carefully, knowing he’ll only shatter her further if he doesn’t, “People will only use you, Evolet. They can’t be trusted.”

“I know,” She murmurs, “I know.”

[beautiesandheadcanons]

I've been planning this post for a while, but just haven't had a chance to sit down and compose it until now, so here we go! Also, my spell-checker absolutely hates me now, so you’re welcome.

This week, I wanted to talk about one of the most intriguing and unique races of Dragon Age. Other games, of course, have Elves and Dwarves a plenty, but the Qunari stand out as being a creation all of their own. While they may bear passing resemblances to other fantasy races (and even those are few and far between, from my person experience) between their looks, their language, and their culture, it makes for a complete experience separate from any other mythos.

The word "Qunari" is an interesting word in and of itself, because while most use it in general to refer to the race of grey-skinned, horned giants, it's only translated to mean "People of the Qun", and as a result there are those who are Qunari in race but don't follow the Qun's philosophy, and there are others who are not of the race but who convert to the Qun (they are typically referred to as Viddathari). Those of the race who are born outside the Qun's influence are known as Vashoth ("grey ones"), while those who rebel are known as Tal-Vashoth ("true grey ones"). Vashoth and Tal-Vashoth are terms that, in game, are used pretty interchangeably, but in experience there is a difference. Tal-Vashoth are rebels, usually fighting directly against the Qunari, while Vashoth simply exist outside of it.

The Qunari as a race descended from an unknown race of people known as Kossith, which predate the Qun philosophy. There was a settlement of them in the Korcari Wilds in southern Thedas, but they were overrun by darkspawn during the First Blight (and it's assumed the darkspawn's contact with them is what lead to the creation of ogres). While there is no records of what they looked like in relation to modern Qunari, it is said that they are different, not just in society. Why there was a split from Kossith to Qunari isn't completely clear (and possibly is shrouded in secrets for the purpose of propaganda, though that's just my personal opinion). What is known is that a Kossith philosopher, Ashkaari Koslun, developed a school of thought that became the basis of the Qun, the laws and guide that set down the rules of society for the Qunari, which is wildly different than any other in Thedas. Qunari do not marry or have families, but are bred and the children are raised and brought up in groups by Tamassrans. These Tamassrans also educate them and help to designate their roles in the society, which they are expected to fulfill to the letter. However, they don't see themselves as limited in their roles, they believe that from birth they are given a purpose in their nature and their lives are spent fulfilling that nature. To rebel against their nature is to rebel against order, is to become Tal-Vashoth, is to fall to chaos. Whenever they have led campaigns into Thedas for the purpose of conquering, they see themselves as liberators bringing the Qun to free them from their torment.

Their naming practices are the most unique in the game, because strictly speaking, Qunari don't have names in the traditional sense. They are assigned a series of numbers at birth - similar to a social security number of sorts - and their "name" is simply their profession. And, since their profession can change over time, with promotions and such (especially in, say, the military) then their "names" change as well (more on that later, as there is an interesting specific example).

Magic is seen as dangerous, and they treat mages far more severely than even the Chantry in southern Thedas (which, considering how abusive some Circles were, should tell you how seriously they treat it). Qunari mages are named Saarebas ("dangerous thing"), and their lips are sewn shut, their horns cut off, they are collared and shackled, and they are kept under strict control by a special soldier named Arvaarad ("holds back evil"). If at any point a Saarebas is separated from their Arvaarad, they are executed upon return because the danger that they have been possessed in the meantime is too great to them to risk. In Dragon Age 2, when Hawke escorts a lone Saarebas, if they fight for them then they are referred to as Basvaarad, a non-Qunari who controls a Saarebas (since "bas" is the Qunlat word for non-Qunari).

Physically, they are known as giants for a reason, since they stand taller than any other race in Thedas. While they commonly have grey skin and are usually called as such, their actual skin tone can vary, but is usually darker, like variations of gold or bronze (or even other colours, potentially, as we see in Inquisition). Most Qunari seem predisposed to having white hair, but that's by no means across the board. Their ears are pointed, but smaller than an Elf's ear typically is, and obviously their most prominent feature is their horns, which vary from Qunari to Qunari. Said horns have no nerves, so if they're damaged or even removed, that causes no problems. The horns are said to get irritated in some way (possibly itchy due to growth, at least that's my headcanon) and so they've developed a balm for themselves (otherwise I like to imagine a large, hulking Qunari rubbing their horns against a tree like a deer to relieve the sensation). However, not all born Qunari develop horns, and it seems the chances of that happening are akin to red hair occurring naturally in humans for us. Instead of being shunned or shamed, however, those without horns are revered as special and usually given high-ranking, prestigious roles in their society. For a race that is large and imposing and who typically sport horns, for them, not having horns is seen as scary or dangerous. This is the reason that Saarebas have their horns removed, as an indication of the danger they possess. In fact, the first Qunari we get to meet in the game is hornless, and if recruited, can become quite the powerhouse companion for the Warden.

In the first Dragon Age game, Origins, the first Qunari we get to encounter is Sten (which, again, is his title more than his name). He can be found locked in a cage in Lothering, imprisoned for slaughtering a family after waking up post-battle to find his sword missing (a shameful crime for a Qunari warrior, the consequence for which is execution). The Warden can free him or leave him to die, but there is no reason to leave a perfectly capable powerhouse warrior behind. He is very blunt, to the point, and obviously military born and bred from childhood. He is even puzzled by female-identifying fighters amoungst the group, as for Qunari society, warriors are male only (female Qunari who are adept at fighting are known as Aqun-Athlok, and enter the warrior caste as males and identify as such, since gender is a secondary trait that is considered less important than their duty to the Qun; again, Sten is obviously a fighter and not a philosopher and isn't as flexible in his thinking). Sten's personal quest involves retrieving his sword, which means after the Blight is over and he leaves the Warden's side, he can return to Qunari society without shame. If the Warden has a high enough approval, he'll even refer to them as "Kadan", a term normally associated in later games with a romantic connotation, but which simply means "where the heart lies" and can technically refer to close friends as well as a romance partner.

In Dragon Age 2, there are no Qunari companions, but there is a group of Qunari stranded in Kirkwall that is interacted with several times. They are headed by the Arishok, the general military leader for the Qunari people. At first, their staying there is chalked up to them waiting for a ship to come for them, however it's later revealed that the real reason they haven't left is because they have lost the Tome of Koslun and cannot return without it (which, surprise surprise, Hawke's pirate companion is involved in its theft). The Arishok, like Sten, is stoic and rigid and uncaring for the plight of Kirkwall itself. After spending a few years there, however, the chaos becomes too much for Arishok to handle and he leads his Qunari on a campaign through the city, executing the Viscount in front of the nobles and confronting Hawke, the protagonist of DA2. Hawke has a couple of ways of dealing with him, which include giving back the Tome of Koslun (which means giving up Isabella, the companion involved in its theft), they can fight Arishok and his company, or if Hawke has done enough to earn his favour as "basalit-an" (an outsider worthy of respect) or if Fenris is in the group, the Arishok can be encouraged to settle the matter in a duel one-on-one with Hawke. The duel itself is difficult, especially for squishier characters like mages, but from personal experience, a little strategy and patience can net a win over the Arishok, killing him and ending the Qunari hold on the city. Even if Arishok is given the tome and Isabella and leaves peacefully, however, Isabella later escapes with the Tome again and when he returns to the Qunari homeland of Par Vollen, he faces a court martial and is removed from his role as Arishok.

The interesting bit is, however Arishok is removed from his position, Sten from the previous game is given the role of Arishok, thus changing his name from Sten to Arishok. This can create a little confusion sometimes in referring to the characters, because Sten is no longer Sten at all and to Qunari he is Arishok only. As a result, in talking about him, the fandom has varied ways of referring to him. Some stick to more lore-friendly names - as in the Arishok post 9:34 (the year he was made Arishok), New Arishok, the Hornless Arishok - and others either make an amalgamation of the names such as Aristen or Stenishok, and others will just give him a nickname of their own to personally refer to him. We even get to see him as Arishok in the lovely comic “Dragon Age: Those Who Speak”, and I gotta say, he looks much better with the facial hair. 

In Inquisition, we get the first chance to not only romance a Qunari companion, but also play as a Qunari! If one chooses to play as the Qunari race, they are technically Qunari who were born outside the Qun are Vashoth (though the game keeps referring to them as Tal-Vashoth, as if they rebelled and rejected the Qun). Their default last name is Adaar, which means "weapon", which our lovely Qunari companion comments on appreciatively. As a Qunari, the class options are the same as most races, and the player can be a warrior, a mage, or a rogue, though Solas and Cullen are excluded from their romance options (Cullen is locked for female humans and Elves only, Solas is the most restrictive with female Elves only). There are also unique dialogue options that can both be selected and that can be heard both in direct conversation and in passing … and not all of it is friendly and accepting. I currently have two Qunari Inquisitors that I play with, one a female rogue assassin named Katari (in Qunlat, "one who brings death"), and the other a male mage necromancer named Talan (in Qunlat, "truth").

The Iron Bull, I admit, is the whole reason I bought Inquisition first, because I wanted to romance him. When the player meets him, he is heading a mercenary band called The Bull's Chargers. While he appears to initially be Vashoth or Tal-Vashoth, in truth he works as a spy for the Ben-Hassrath, an arm of Qunari society that act as enforces and protectors of their law and also disseminates information and even sends assassins. The Iron Bull is not his "name" under the Qun (he's known as Hissrad to them, "keeper of illusions" or, colloquially, "liar") and is simply a name he took for himself when sent to spy in southern Thedas. To his credit, he is upfront with the Inquisitor about this, and passes on information from the Qunari along with sending information back to them. As mentioned, he can be romanced, and race and gender does not matter to him. If the Inquisitor doesn't romance him or Dorian, however, and their party banter reaches a certain point, the game will put The Bull and Dorian in a romance of their own (known to fans as "Adoribull"). His personal quest involves a mission given by the Qunari to stop a shipment of red lyrium. At a critical point, the Inquisitor will have to make a decision to either sacrifice The Chargers and forge an alliance with the Qunari, or to save The Chargers and forgo the alliance. This has a large impact on his character, as if his company is saved, he is branded as Tal-Vashoth and he is expelled from the Qun and everything he knows, but if his company is sacrificed, he becomes even more loyal to the Qun. In game, only a few dialogue and cutscenes are different, but in the DLC Trespasser, if The Bull is Qun-loyal or if his quest wasn't done at all, then he will turn on the Inquisitor and the player will have no choice but to kill him, even if they are in a romance.

With Dragon Age 4 being hinted to take place in/near/around Tevinter (who is in a constant slap-fight of a war against the Qunari) it's my hope that we get more of a peek into both of these cultures that we don't get much of a glimpse of in game. While their society and how they work and function is far from perfect, I find it's an interesting juxtaposition from the other cultures present in Thedas, and thus a refreshing change of pace from a lore perspective. I also hope that the Qunari remains a playable race, as while I prefer playing as an Elf, being a tall, imposing Qunari is a lot of fun, too.