#because you fell in love with robby & now hes betrayed you. & you dont know how to deal with the fallout in a healthy manner
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something something miyagi!ethan full-well knowing that he's genuinely happy, & so in love with, other versions of robby in alternate lives (verses), & robby loves him in those alternate existences, while s4!him is Absolutely Fucking Suffering
#unknowingly to (mostly) everyone else it drives you further into depression & dangerous coping mechanisms/people (auryn)#its why your nonhuman friends are furious with robby. they know full well the sacrifices you made bc of robby. (he obviously Cant know)#hes the /entire reason/ why your Creators are hunting you down like an animal in every lifetime. to suffer for breaking their Divine Laws#because you fell in love with robby & now hes betrayed you. & you dont know how to deal with the fallout in a healthy manner#& that love you have for him drives you to eventually confront with silver. which is basically a suicide attempt#its KNOWING that youre happy with the man you love in alternate/simultaneous existences. but youre not happy in this current (main) reality#your main reality which started Literally Everything. it made you start to actively FIND HIM in alternate lives & refall in love w/ him#you think you hate him because of the perceived betrayal he just did. he might even think you hate him & you just assume that he hates you#the thing that really kills you is that you fought so hard for him in this lifetime. against the whole valley. you /continue/ to#so for him to just turn around & betray you sends you spiraling#also not to mention: youre Not Human. Youve Never Been Human#& you have a very vicious emotional feedback loop that twists everything you feel into something worse & then amplifies every single shred#look at it this way:#robby is the light at the end of the tunnel. but that light leads to hellfire. & hellfire leads you straight to terry silver.#its all driving me insane#arc.: season 4.#// suicidal thoughts#// suicidal tendencies#// long post#saved.#ooc. / mia speaks.
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