#because whyyyyy would i like. not have something else going on lolllllll | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gnc-tits · 8 hours

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like girl why dont i just run away from anything + everything forever lol. if i cant even rely on the ppl closest to me who know me the best to like. not interpret the messy ways my bottled up 22 yr old anger/grief/WHATEVER is spilling out then i mean like. whats even the point of it yknow

#not talking abt killing myself just like running away into the mountains. oh ms appalachia after all these years yr still the only one who #understands me. fuckiinngngngngnyv SHUT up gay fucking poet bitchckfngnfnmvmf #i have therapy twice a week this week tho 😏#just like. man i havent even been in therapy two yrs at this point. i rlly connect with my therapist and i feel comfortable with her but #even she acknowledged the other day that we’ve only scratched the surface of Tha Big Stuff and. we’re gearing up to getting more into that #now but i couldnt have gotten to this point otherwise like it just. takes me a really long time to open up. not just with her but with #anyone. it just doesnt come naturally like i live in my head all the time i got mad dissociative shit goin on #and THATS something ive only just realized in like. the past week!!! like i knew i did it but i didnt process like. i dunno i guess the #extent to which i do it. like i know i overrationalize my feelings and i dont think i dissociate all the time but its deffo a big one of my #ptsd symptoms if not a symptom of fuckin. something else #because whyyyyy would i like. not have something else going on lolllllll #makes me feel bad like ive been lying to her or i havent been honest but i just get so. trapped in my own world #omfg THATS what tht short story i wrote was about. wow #anyways fucking whateverrrr i just get stuck yknow like!!!!!!!! autism x lonely isolated child syndrome = maladaptive daydreaming x 10000000 #and i dont realize that thats whats like. happening. good grieffffff #okay whatever back to actually journaling #side note: rlly been fucking w the thought of journalism lately. like admittedly i havent given much thought to it but its smthn id like to #look into in terms of writing. hurmmmmmmm

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