#because what if people are judging that I’m not part of the group cry or saying the right things are the right moment

[rainydetectiveglitter]

I'm roasting myself 😭

Pisces in the 4th House: Oh, look at you, always yearning for deep emotional connections, like you’re trying to create a spa retreat in your living room. How’s that working out? Still waiting for your “soul family” to show up? Meanwhile, you’re probably sitting there watching "The Notebook" and wondering why your group chat doesn’t have those cute inside jokes. Maybe because you're busy trying to merge with everyone’s feelings like a walking emotional sponge.

Gemini in the 7th House: You probably can’t commit to a single thought for more than 15 seconds, let alone a relationship. "I love you... but let's talk about this podcast first!" You’re the friend who, mid-conversation, wonders if you’re supposed to be hanging out or reading about the latest conspiracy theory. Seriously, stop switching personalities every time you meet someone new. You’re not auditioning for a role in "The Real Housewives of Overthinking."

Libra in the 11th House: You want everyone to get along, huh? The world’s not a Pinterest board, sweetie. I bet you’re the person who tries to keep the peace at parties and then somehow ends up hating everyone, including yourself. You probably judge every group chat emoji choice and feel personally offended if someone uses Comic Sans. Just admit it—you’re more interested in making everything look perfect than actually being part of anything real.

Lilith in the 3rd House in Aquarius: Oh, the rebellious intellectual, huh? I’m sure your genius insights have really changed the world. Too bad most people can’t hear your revolutionary ideas over your constant need to be “different” for the sake of being different. You think you're the visionary in the group, but let’s face it: you’re just the person who shows up at dinner parties with a new conspiracy theory you found online—and, no, it’s not as clever as you think.

Chiron in Leo: You want to be adored, don’t you? But you’ll never admit it. You’re the one who tries to "hide" the fact that you need constant validation, yet you can’t resist fishing for compliments like a catfish on a dating app. Maybe if you stopped trying to be the center of attention for two seconds, someone would actually notice how great you are without needing a spotlight to shine on it.

Moon Square Venus: Your emotional life is like a badly planned romantic comedy. You say you want to be loved, but you also want to keep your emotional distance, which leaves you stuck between making everyone feel like you're the one while also throwing a tantrum when they don’t read your mind. You're like that person who orders an elaborate drink at Starbucks and then complains that the barista didn’t know the exact temperature you like.

Mars in Cancer: You’re the passive-aggressive champion of the zodiac. Why say what you feel when you can silently stew and cook up a whole emotional storm in your head, right? You want to protect everyone, but no one can ever quite tell if you're offering a hug or planning their emotional downfall. Your idea of “assertiveness” is posting a vague meme on social media instead of just speaking up.

Sagittarius Rising: “Let’s go on an adventure!”—but you’ll probably be late, cancel last-minute, or spend the whole time questioning whether you should’ve just stayed home to think about how much better the adventure could’ve been. You’re the person who tries to live like they’re in a travel blog, but can’t even commit to where to eat on a Saturday night.

I'm going to go cry now 😢

[coffee-at-annies]

Excellent essay about what it means to be required to perform social media for jobs and why it can be exhausting.

A couple quotes stood out to me (and I’m quoting them below) as someone who struggles with wanting to participate in fandom whole-heartedly and also feeling like I have to participate in specific ways or I’m doing it wrong.

“I, on the other hand, have never desired a life lived out loud. I wish to put my energies into spaces that reward the quieter contemplations I find comfort in.”

I’m not gonna lie, it’s nice to see number go up on posts and notifications in my activity tab. It can feel disheartening when number doesn’t go up and I put effort into something. It’s hard to be loud and to do it constantly.

Idk there’s an evil little voice in the back of my head that says if I was just doing xyz better I’d have more followers. It’s evil because while I like interacting on tumblr I don’t have it in me to shout or post in the way that gets hundreds of thousands of followers. I’m happy with a quiet group of mutuals and chatting with whoever is online during game days like we’re hanging out at the same sports bar. I struggle sometimes with wanting to be big when really I’m much happier being small. This isn’t even for a job like the article, it’s just for me, and I still have that voice saying you should do more.

…”another of “performed” online interactions, where I must sift through the messiness of my not-so-great-for-the-interwebs feelings, thoughts and behaviors, in favour of something re-constructed, wiped down, pristine. “Succeeding” on a social platform (i.e. mapping onto their growth pathways) requires a steady stream of performance: whether that is goofing off in a short video, shooting off pithy or incendiary missives, or offering a treadmill of How-Tos in exchange for coronation of various titles—professional, scholar, activist. Whether this self we present is a curated version of our IRL selves or a completely made up one is moot. The game is performance.”

This right here hits at the root of some of my messy feelings about blogging. It’s all a performance. That’s not bad since all self is a performance anyway. The question is who am I performing for and am I happy about it? I struggle sometimes with the guilt I feel if I’m not performing; if my queue runs out; if I skip a game; if I’m not here participating in the group sad. I take a lot of my negative feelings offline and go quiet for a reason. That feeling of needing to perform, especially after bad games, makes the bad feelings linger and doesn’t improve my life. The need to be creating content constantly can be stressful. Letting my blog go quiet is self care.

One of my boundaries is I don’t owe my followers my feelings and if I don’t want to blog about it I simply don’t. Of course sometimes people get testy if you’re not talking about the issue of the week. (Sometimes that person is my own guilt complex because brains suck). Idk. There’s parts of me that feel like I owe the performance. That if I’m not creating or reblogging content then why am I on here? That by following me, my followers are obliged to get some sort of behind the curtain inner thought process or I’m required to comment on every little scandal or tragedy that comes out of fandom or the news or whatever. That’s exhausting. It’s so exhausting.

Idk. Getting a little bit personal and a little bit venty but it feels like fandom has a “you must be this active or creative to get noticed” goalpost and I’ve never felt like I could hit it. Even when I felt like it was in reach it’s always been further away than I think it is. The older I get and the longer I’m in fandom(s), the more it feels like something that’s not worth trying for. I’ll keep my 10 notes and getting yelled at (positive) by 5 mutuals cause “ouch how could you” and I’ll leave the performance to someone else.

Worth a read.

[steddieas-shegoes]

A little thing based on this post because it wouldn’t leave my brain:

“I just don’t understand why you won’t try to read it.”

Steve had heard Dustin say this exact sentence hundreds of times at this point.

“I mean, do you know how to read?”

Mike was an asshole. Steve loved him because he was part of the group and he’d been through the same things, but he was such a dick.

“Yes, I know how to read. I just don’t.”

Dustin rolled his eyes.

“If you don’t wanna read nerd shit just say so.”

Steve threw his arms up in frustration.

Steve was a nerd at heart. As a child, he would beg the nanny to take him to the library and the science museum that had real dinosaur fossils. There was something about the peace of exiting his reality and finding a new one among fantasy and history that was indescribable, even to this day.

But as he grew into his looks, he grew out of that phase. At least around others.

And with no nanny around to take him places, he settled for just being the popular guy who hung out with his friends after practice and threw parties at his forever empty house on Saturdays.

But secretly, he still found himself enjoying books late into the night. Never school books, or his grades would’ve been good enough for college, but always incredible novels that took him to other worlds with the most impressively brave people.

And then he lived a nightmare. A few times over. With concussions at every turn.

Now, anytime he tried to read, his head started pounding, his vision got blurry, and ears would start ringing. He stopped trying altogether after Starcourt, but he’d never really let go his love of books.

He occasionally let Robin read to him, but she would get distracted by a plot or character and go on a tangent, leaving Steve confused about what the actual story was. He hated being confused.

“Stevie, you got a minute?”

Eddie had been watching from his spot at the end of the table, where he’d been cleaning up the mess of D&D. He usually made the kids do it, but he’d let them off the hook tonight when they beat the monster and escaped his trap.

Steve and Eddie were friends, definitely. Maybe not close ones, but friends.

Steve had a little crush, definitely. Or a big one. Maybe.

So when Eddie shows him attention, he somewhat shamefully receives it like he’s dying of thirst in a desert.

Robin is the only one who’s noticed so far, but if he keeps acting like a dog being called by his master anytime Eddie talks to him, someone else will comment on it.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Steve asked as he made his way to Eddie.

The kids took this time to talk amongst themselves about the game and what they think will happen next week, and Steve couldn’t have been more grateful.

“You don’t have to tell me, but.” Eddie was tapping his fingers nervously against his leg. “Do you not know how to read?”

“Uh. No I do. I mean I graduated high school. I know it’s hard to believe.”

“Not judging if you can’t, man. I mean, I took three senior years. I’m the last person who can judge.”

“Yeah, but you’re smart. You just didn’t like school,” Steve replied with a pat to his shoulder.

Eddie glanced down at the contact, eyebrow raising and then falling back to normal quickly.

“Just seems like you’d have read something by now to get them off your ass.”

And that’s a really good point. Maybe he should’ve just suffered through a migraine so they’d leave him alone about it.

But migraines left him out for days sometimes, and he couldn’t exactly afford that right now.

“I guess it’s just not worth the migraine.”

He hadn’t meant to actually say it. He didn’t want Eddie to feel bad or for him to try to make him feel better about it or ask questions or talk about the concussion thing.

Actually, did he even know about the concussion thing? Things?

“You get migraines when you try to read?” Then realization hit Eddie hard. “Steve. Do you like reading?”

Something about the way Eddie was looking at him, like he was sad for him but not pitying him, made Steve want to cry.

“I used to, yeah.”

“Everyone out! Your parents are gonna have to come get you! No questions, no explanations, go!” Eddie yelled to the room.

Everyone stared blankly at him before they started protesting, Dustin loudest of all.

“Steve’s my ride!”

“Not anymore. Hitch a ride with Lucas.”

“But Lucas’ mom always squeezes my cheeks and tells me she hopes I never lose my baby fat.”

“She speaks for all of us. Get the hell out of here!”

Steve was actually impressed. Maybe a little turned on? God, he was a disaster.

As everyone cleared out of the room, Eddie patted the seat next to him. When Steve sat down, Eddie scooted his chair so close to him, his knees were touching Steve’s.

“Alright, so you’re gonna tell me about what books you like and what books you want to read and we’re gonna get started.”

Steve blinked at him. “Huh?”

“You have a list I’m sure.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Okay, then we better get started.”

“I mean, I’ve tried. I appreciate it, but even focusing on one page makes my eyes burn and my head hurt.”

“Got that. I’m not asking you to read.”

Sometimes Steve was worried the concussions had actually knocked some screws loose. He wasn’t getting it.

“I’m gonna read to you, Stevie.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure a lot of them will be movies and I can just watch them.”

“It’s not the same. You know it’s not.”

He was right. Steve didn’t have much patience for movies. And sometimes even those gave him migraines if there were a lot of bright lights and explosions.

“Yeah. But still. You don’t have to do that. You might not even like the books.”

“Ah, this isn’t a completely free service, my liege.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t have extra money to pay you, dude.”

“Not money. I get to pick a book to read to you when we finish the first book you pick.”

“Is it The Hobbit?”

“It is,” Eddie looked so smug.

“Well, that was my first choice,” Steve stared back, equally as smug.

“So, your house is empty.”

“Yep.”

“And I’m assuming you own this book.”

“I do.”

“And it’s getting late.”

Steve looked out the window at the pitch black skies.

“It’s late.”

“So I could stay and read you to sleep.”

“Won’t I miss some of the book?”

“I’ll stop when you’re asleep.”

Steve’s heart was practically begging him to say yes. Eddie reading to him in his bed? Possibly falling asleep together? Maybe even waking up together? It couldn’t be a better proposition. Well. It could.

“Will you stay even if I fall asleep?”

Eddie smirked. “If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d called Steve that, but it was the first time it felt like he meant it in a non-teasing way.

“Okay.”

So they both changed into some of Steve’s comfy clothes, got into his bed, and Eddie started reading The Hobbit.

Just as he was during D&D and real life, Eddie was animated, providing different voices for different characters and often giving long pauses to let Steve soak in what the words meant.

Steve didn’t even have to ask him to do that. He just did.

Steve fell asleep somewhere between halfway and the end of chapter two, but Eddie stayed.

And they woke up the next day with Steve’s head resting on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arms wrapped around him to keep him as close as possible.

They finished the The Hobbit in a week, and because Eddie was now committed to making sure Steve was well-read, they started moving through his list rapidly, falling for each other in new ways every time Eddie turned a page.

Part 2 (Angst)  / Part 2 (Fluffy) /  Part 2 (Explicit)

[vivmaek]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PART SEVEN (roast edition)

Libra Suns are soo oblivious sometimes. I can never tell if they’re doing it to get something or if they’re actually having a dumb blond moment. 

People with Mars in the 2nd house need to learn how to share. They become territorial over their possessions. As children, they were the types of kids to show off a cool toy and then go, “but you can’t play with this one because it's special.” 

Mars in Pisces are the types to make a passive aggressive comment under their breath, and then when someone calls them out, they go, “I didn’t say anything!” 

When people who have Mercury in the 8th house become obsessed about something, they will never shut up about it. Just when you think you’ve managed to steer conversation into a new direction, they will find a way to bring up whatever topic is plaguing their mind. 

Pluto in Sagittarius generation is so self-righteous. Everyone is overly aggressive with their opinions, everyone thinks they’re right, and everyone is under the impression that we’re going to be these revolutionary radicals who will serve justice to those oppressed when most spend their time on the internet trying to cancel people. Like seriously we get so heated over nothing sometimes. I think that's because this generation really struggles with misdirected passion. I’m excited for these Pluto in Aquarius babies tho 

Aries Moons and their temper tantrums, that's all. 

People who have their Mars in Taurus will destroy things when they get angry, literally like a raging bull. They make a mess and fling things around, like what is that accomplishing?? And then afterwards they clean it up like nothing ever happened. 

The uncomfortable look on a Gemini Moon's face when someone starts to cry, they wanna leave asap and are looking for the nearest exit. 

Leos will cry, scream, and throw a fit over their hair. DO NOT MESS WITH THEIR HAIR. It's the one quality they like about themselves. A bad haircut or color treatment will have them SPIRALING. Like a serious identity crisis. They die inside when someone goes, “It's just hair, it will grow back.” 

Mercury Libras and the lies they spread! They lie about the smallest things and it's usually in an effort to people-please. 

People with their Mars in Sagittarius are psychos when they're mad. They lack the foresight to see how they’re putting themselves and others in danger. I’d say they are the most likely to carry out some form of revenge.

If you’re dealing with someone who has their Venus in the 8th house, make sure to establish some firm boundaries. They will just keep taking if you let them.

Venus 11th housers cause so much drama every time they develop feelings for one of their friends, I never seen this not cause tension within a friend group. 

12th house stelliums and the way they always maintain distance, and everytime you get too close they pull back, actually super frustrating. Also the silent treatments they pull! They’re not even doing it to punish, they're just doing it because they’re uncomfortable, but it still ends up feeling like a punishment for the other person.  

Mercury in Taurus individuals are sometimes too blunt. I honestly really love this quality hehe, but I have to admit they’ve offended me just by pointing out the obvious. 

Aries 11th housers always feel like they’re in competition with their friends. 

Moon Trine Uranus and crying at the most unexpected things. I have this friend that I’ve known since middle school, never saw her cry once. Even when we graduated and said our goodbyes for college, nothing. Then a year later, we were watching the finale for Euphoria together, and this girl started bawling at the end. I was like out of all the things to make you cry this is it?? Haha, I love her. 

The Pluto in Virgo generation hands out criticisms left and right. If my friend's parents had this placement, I always felt like they were judging me. 

Capricorns and their obsession with money, and also how they fail to realize that not everyone else is driven by monetary gains. 

Aquarius’s love to act like their egos aren’t big. The only reason why Leos get checked more on this is because of their bold sense of expression. 

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ghost Part 4

AN: 💕

Synopsis: The two of you have finally gotten on the same page regarding Ace and Jack has shown you that he's all in when it comes to his and Ace's relationship. However, he ends up taking one step forward and a hundred steps backward when your safety is compromised

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Sitting in your car in front of your apartment building, you let out a loud sob that you had been holding in since the judge had made her decision.You were confident that she would rule in your favor, but the only thing or person on your mind rather was Ace.

He had gotten so used to seeing Jack often that you weren't quite sure how he was going to adjust to only being able to see him every other weekend. And you didn't know the first step in how to explain that to him and more than likely he probably wouldn't even understand. This was the last thing you wanted to ever happen, and you thought for sure that Jack would meet you halfway in order to do what was best for Ace, but once again his pride got in the way.

You had lost track of time and didn't know how long you were sitting in your car crying when you grabbed a tissue from your purse in order to wipe your face and make yourself look a bit more presentable. Blaire wasn't going to bring Ace back until later in the day and you still had some time to kill. It was simply decided that you would get into some comfy clothes and watch Disney plus because you figured that was probably the only thing that could somewhat lift your mood. 

Before you started watching anything, you sent a simple message to the group chat since you knew that they had been waiting to hear from you.

You- I got full custody of Ace 

Blaire- 👀👀👀

Nadia- As you should. What them child support payments looking like?

You- 40,000 a month

Liv- DAMN he actually got lucky. For a celebrity, I’ve heard of people paying a lot more than that.

Blaire- But how are you feeling overall?

You- Sad for Jack believe it or not

Liv- He got what was coming to him smh I don’t feel bad because he brought this on himself

Nadia- I second that 

You-  But now I have to tell Ace and I don’t know how he’s going to take it

Jack was in a daze driving home from the courthouse and the realization was hitting him that he didn't do anything but make things more complicated for himself. He had now driven a bigger wedge in between the two of you and knew deep down that no matter how much he apologized to you that it wouldn't be enough. He wanted to have a relationship with his son, but also wanted to have a healthy relationship with you too and at this point even getting you to talk to him was going to be a challenge.

He had gotten home and didn't realize that Clay had been following him and pulled up behind his car in the driveway. Jack sighed to himself not wanting to hear him say ‘I told you so’ again since he had a feeling that he would never let him live this down. He knows that he fucked up and doesn’t need to hear it over and over again. 

Once he stepped out of the car, Clay was next to him with his hands stuffed in his pockets and simply looked at him.

“Clay, not now. Please not now.” Jack said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I'm just here for support. What just happened was a lot to take in and even though you've been treating me like shit the last few months, you're still my big brother and I still care about how you’re feeling.”

“I know and I'm sorry. I just… There isn't any excuse for the way I've been acting and treating you as if you're not important to me when you know that you are. I just want that close relationship that you have with Ace and I’m jealous of it and not afraid to admit it. You've been in his life since he was four weeks old and I can't say the same thing. Y/N is never going to forgive me now. I wish I would have talked to her when she gave me the chance.”

“That is literally all she has wanted from the very beginning. She never wanted it to get to this point and she actually low key thinks that you hate her.” Clay quietly said as they both walked into Jack’s house.

“What? I could never hate her. I don't hate her. Why would she think that? Never mind, don't answer that. I… get it.”

“And you failed to realize how this would affect Ace because he's the one that's at the center of this whole thing.”

“And now I can't even see him how I want to.”

“You now have to make it up to not only Ace but Y/N too.”

“And I don't have any idea on where to start.”

“You already know what you need to do and no one should have to tell you that. You can start by being the best father you can possibly be to Ace. This isn't rocket science, but you damn sure know how to make things more complicated. Are we sure that you’re even the older one at this point?” Clay asked while smirking and Jack gave him a small smirk in return and shrugged his shoulders. 

Jack's mood had been off for the rest of the time that had passed until it was his weekend with Ace and he wanted to get himself together before you dropped him off. But he just couldn't shake this being his new reality. He knew now that he should have talked to you and simply let you explain, but his thoughts of you moving and taking Ace flooded his mind and that was the only thing that he could think of. But all in all, he just made a bigger mess. 

He had sent you multiple text messages with you responding in ten words or less and it wasn’t because you were being mean or trying to spite him, you genuinely had no idea what to say to him at this point. Until you did, there was no reason for you to give him a longer response. 

It was a little awkward when the person supervising the visit, Britney showed up at his house ten minutes before you were going to drop Ace off and knew that he had to prove to her and to the court that he could take care of Ace and take care of him properly. But most importantly, he wanted to prove it to you. 

Once he saw your car pull up, he went outside to meet the two of you as you were helping Ace out of the back of the car. You were grabbing Ace’s backpack that had all of his toys (and told him that he could only bring three because Jack had an entire playroom in his house specifically for him) and clothes when you heard his voice.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi.” You responded while barely looking at him and took a deep breath before continuing to talk.

“His clothes, shoes, and toys are in here and I'll come and get him Sunday at 5.” Was all you said as you handed him Ace’s backpack and Ace was simply looking between the two of you.

“Um, okay.” 

“Make sure he's ready by then for me to come and get him. Okay, Ace, give me kisses.”

You kneeled down to his height and he immediately embraced you and it seemed as if he was holding onto you as if he didn't want you to leave.

“Mommy, can you stay?” Ace asked as he pulled away from you.

“Ace, you're going to have fun with daddy and I'll see you in two days, promise.”

“And we can call mommy before you go to sleep.” Jack chimed in with an attempt to make it less awkward, but he knew that this was probably going to take a while.

“Will you sing to me when I do?” Ace asked, looking at you hopeful. Just about every single night, after the two of you read a book, you would sing him to sleep.

“Of course. Anything for my baby boy.”

—

“Daddy, you okay?” Ace asked Jack as he looked over at him and saw that he was staring off into space when they were supposed to be baking brownies. Peanut butter and chocolate, which he learned how to make from you which had now become his favorite.

“Oh, I'm fine. Now let's get this batter in the pan so we can watch a movie.”  Jack answered as he ruffled Ace's curly hair that resembled his.

“Can we watch Cars!?”

“Of course we can and when our brownies are done, we have ice cream to go with them.”

“But you still look sad. Are you sad about mommy?” Hearing Ace say that made Jack's breath hitch and he simply sighed before saying anything else. To only be three almost four, Ace was incredibly smart and picked up on a lot of things that went on around him.

“You definitely notice everything, don't you?” He asked as Ace simply smiled and nodded.

“I hurt her and I don't think that she's ever going to forgive me.”

“Just say sorry. That should make it all better. Mommy has a big heart like me.”

“That she does, but I don't think that's going to be enough.”

“Well, I still think you should try.”

“Ace….”

“For me?” Ace asked while looking up at his father with eyes that resembled his.

“Now you know that I have a hard time telling you no. And stop with the puppy dog eyes!”

“So you’ll do it!?”

“I’ll try for you.” 

The next few months came and went with the celebration of Ace turning four, and Jack having to do more and more appearances and fly around the country. When that happened, Ace would just stay with you until the next weekend that he was able to come and get him once he was back in Louisville, since he wasn’t allowed to take him across state lines yet. It was Friday afternoon and you were cleaning up your classroom as Ace was sitting at one of the tables coloring when he suddenly asked you about Jack.

“Mommy…”

“Yes?”

“Can daddy come over for a movie night?” He asked while turning around to look at you. 

“Um, Ace we have to see. Daddy might be busy.” You said while grabbing your purse from underneath the desk and taking out your keys.

“Can we call him?”

“Sure, we can call him once we get outside in the car. Come here so I can help you put your jacket on. We can finish coloring at home.”

Ace was secured in the back of the car when you slid into the driver’s seat and attempted to turn the car on. The only problem was that it wouldn’t. 

“You can’t be serious right now.” You muttered to yourself as you lightly laid your head on the steering wheel. Liv had taken a half day today in order to go to a few doctor’s appointments so you know that you couldn’t call her. Nadia would still be at work, and Blaire didn’t close the bakery until seven.

So, that left one person.

Jack.

You sighed as you dialed his number and he picked up on the second ring.

“Hello? Y/N? Are you okay? Is Ace okay?”

“Hey, we’re fine. But I need a favor. Are you at home?” You mumbled because you didn’t like asking him for help, but at this point you needed it.

“Of course. Yeah, I just got back in. What’s going on?” Jack asked as he was looking for the Chinese take out menu from his favorite spot. 

“I’m at work with Ace and my car decided that it doesn’t want to start.”

“Say less. Drop me the location and I’ll come get both of you.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry to ask, but….”

“No need to apologize. I’m on my way now.”

It took less than twenty minutes and you finally saw Jack’s jeep pull up beside you and this made Ace yell in excitement.

“Looks like you get to see daddy after all, huh?” You said as you peeked at him in the backseat and he excitedly nodded towards you.

Jack hopped out while coming over to you and opening your door.

“Thank you again for doing this.” You said and Jack simply waved you off.

“It’s not a big deal, Y/N.”

“I didn’t take you away from anything did I?”

Jack immediately shook his head no as he opened the back door and unstrapped Ace from his car seat and picked him up.

“Hi daddy. I told mommy to call you because I missed you.”

“I missed you too, bubs.” Jack answered before kissing his cheek and putting him in 

His car seat in the back of his jeep. Jack then opened the passenger side door and helped you up, while putting your purse and work bag in the backseat. Once he slid in the driver’s seat, he started making his way back to your apartment.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat? I was actually going to order Chinese food for dinner. Did you want that?”

“Yes! I want an egg roll!”

Only now you noticed that he was going in the opposite direction.

“Umm? Jack? My apartment is that way.”

“I know.”

“Then where are we going?”

“I want to show you something and I figured that this was a good time in order to do it.”

He glanced over at you and saw the look on your face and couldn’t help but to laugh.

“No kidnapping involved, promise.”

It was another fifteen minutes when you noticed that all of you were literally a few streets over from where Jack’s house was. He then pulled in front of a modern looking house and it looked as if it had just been built and no one had the chance to live in it quite yet. You looked around and saw that there were others similar to it and that it looked like they were building more.

“Jack? What is this? Where are we?” You asked not having the slightest clue on what was going on.

“This is your house.”

Your eyes went wide as you looked at him in disbelief. You looked out the window at the house before looking back at him and was clearly confused. 

“I…”

“I don’t want you two in that neighborhood anymore because it’s not the safest. This way, Ace can go outside and play all he wants and I don’t have to worry about you two not being in a safe environment. This is a gated community so unless you have the passcode, you can’t get in.”

“Jack….. You bought us a house?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t accept this, how in the world am I going to pay for it?” You asked as a million things started going through your mind.

“No one said you had to pay for anything. You need more space, even if it’s just the two of you.”

“But….”

“Y/N, it’s a gift. No strings attached. It’s fully furnished and everything.”

You sat there for a minute before glancing back at Ace who was too busy playing with one of his toys to notice you.

“Come on, let’s go inside so you can at least look at it.” He said while holding up the keys and smiling at you.

“Is this a ploy to get me to stay in Louisville?” You asked, suddenly getting defensive because of his previous actions.

“No, not in the slightest. If that’s what you eventually want to do, then okay but this house will still be here and still be yours. Just while you’re here I figured that the two of you should be as comfortable as possible. And also that you would have probably said no if I asked the two of you to move in with me so it would be safer knowing that you would probably want your own space. You don’t have to move in immediately, but come on so we can at least look at it.”

“Okay.” You quietly said before taking off your seatbelt and getting out the car as Jack did the same thing while tending to Ace after.

All three of you walked through the house and you were in awe. Ace’s bedroom had a Louisville Cardinal theme since that happened to be his favorite team right along with his dad, while your room had a black and gray theme. Ace had his own playroom filled with toys and even a mini kitchen with a working stove that was perfect for his height.

“Ace, don’t you like this house and want to live here with mommy?” Jack asked as Ace had begun examining the stove and the little apron that was hanging to the side that had his name on it which was similar to the one that you bought for him.

“Yes! I like it.”

All Jack did was look at you, but you still had hesitations in the back of your mind. It was true that you and Jack were growing close again and working on being good co-parents to Ace, but you couldn’t take him possibly doing something to mess all of this up all over again. Before either of you made a decision regarding him, you would call each other and discuss it first. This just seemed all too much for you and you were overwhelmed.

You remained quiet as Jack simply laid the keys in your hand and closed it.

“Whenever you’re ready, there is absolutely no rush. Please understand that. And also understand that I’m trying to do my best to make up for what I’ve done or what I haven’t done rather. I just want to do right by the two of you.” He whispered so that only the two of you could hear and all you did was nod in response before Jack went to scoop Ace up in his arms.

“Bubs, you ready to go to daddy’s house and eat Chinese food?”

“As long as we watch Cars!”

“Uh? Again?”

“This is nothing compared to his Lion King phase.” You muttered as all three of you made your way back downstairs.

“Oh, one last thing. Let’s go this way.” Jack then led you both in the direction of the garage and your jaw dropped once you set foot in it.

“Didn’t realize that your car was going to give out on you today, but… surprise.” was all Jack said as you were now staring at a BMW SUV. When you and Jack had first started talking, you told him that this was the car that you eventually wanted to buy for yourself and had no idea that he actually remembered. 

“Jack….”

He didn’t say anything and instead slipped his hand in his back pocket to get the keys and hand them to you.

“Ace can ride with me while you test out your new car.”

About another month had passed and the temperature was beginning to warm up and you couldn’t wait to be able to take Ace out all summer and was trying to think of where you wanted to go and wanted to do. You also made sure to include Jack in your plans if he wasn’t too busy. You had the night to yourself since Ace was with Jack and you were currently fiddling the house key in your hands that Jack had bought you. He told you that it was no rush and you were deciding to take your sweet time. As far as the lease for your apartment went, Jack said if you wanted to break it, he would pay for it. But at this point in time, you feel that he already did so much for you already and would probably just ride it out until it was time for it to be renewed again. However, just about every day after you were finished teaching, you would take the long way home to pass by it.

It was around midnight when you had gotten a text on your phone from Nadia and it seemed urgent.

Nadia- Go look at Jack’s instagram…. NOW

You- Why? What’s wrong?

Nadia- HE POSTED YOUR FACE, THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG!

Your heart was now doing backflips as you logged into your instagram app to see that he did indeed post you and now thoughts were beginning to run rampant.

Liked by urbanwyatt, estgee, champagnepapi, 2forwoyne, taylorrooks, saweetie, and 1,200,154 others

jackharlow: Y/N, thank you for being just an amazing mother to my son who has wanted for nothing ever since he came out of the womb. I'm thankful that we're in a better place with one another and keeping him at the center of it because at the end of the day, he's the most important part of this. I can't change the past and what went down between us, but I can move forward and do what's best for the both of you.

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You wasted no time in texting him wanting to address this and how incredibly dangerous it was.

You- Jackman, I’m coming over because we need to talk

Jack- Is everything okay?

You- No, everything is not. I’m getting dressed now

Jack was waiting at the door for you once your car pulled behind his jeep in the driveway and he could tell that you were fuming. He simply stepped aside to let you squeeze past him as you went to sit down on the couch in the living room. All Jack did was come and sit next to you waiting to hear what you had to say.

“Y/N?”

“Why did you post that?”

“Because I figured you deserved a public apology. I just wanted to show how appreciative I was of you and how important our relationship is.”

“Do you not understand what you just did? First, those pictures that were taken were for your birthday and for your eyes only and I actually forgot that I even took them until now. Second, Jack, I have an Only Fans. Did you not put two and two together?! NOW PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE AND MAKE THE CONNECTION! I hardly show my face on there, but I have some videos where I do!”

“I….”

“I could lose my job over this! And that’s exactly what I was afraid of! Even if it was a few years ago, they aren’t going to see it that way.”

“Wait, your Only Fans is still active!?” Jack asked curiously, but all you did was roll your eyes.

“Is that really all you got out of that?! Yes, it’s still active! Any time if I was in a bind or needed money, I would upload videos to get paid for it!”

“Why, when you could’ve asked me?! You need to deactivate it and how was I supposed to know you still had it?! All I was trying to do was something nice for you. I swear that I can never win with you!”

“I’m not deactivating anything because that would literally be how me and Ace would eat some days when you were nowhere to be found.”

“Well, I’m here now! You don’t have to worry about that anymore! Anything you want or need, I’ll get it!”

“Every time I need something, I’m not going to run to you and ask for it. We’re not in a relationship anymore or did you forget?”

“I… well what if I want us to be?!”

This had you taken aback and you simply looked at him in disbelief as you shook your head. 

“Jack…..”

“Please Y/N, just give me another chance. I’ll delete the post and make this right and I’m sorry for doing that without clearing it with you first. I compromised your safety and you know that was never my intention.”

“It is literally only a matter of time before someone finds my account.” You muttered without giving Jack an answer.

“I can delete it.”

“But not before almost a million people liked it. The damage is done so it doesn’t even matter at this point.”

Taglist:

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[lunajay33]

Home🤍

Summary: Reader gets separated from everyone when the prison falls and almost loses hope she’s been looking for the group for 2 years

•Masterlist•

The prison was attacked by the governor 2 years ago, well atleast I’m guessing it was around that time since the world ended keeping track of time was hard

I’ve been wandering around ever since looking for Daryl, I missed him more than ever, being without him hurt me everyday but I still had a part of him

“Mama!” Willow called as I walked with her in my arms, she was almost 2 years old now, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks before the prison fell I didn’t even get to tell Daryl and he may never know now

“What’s wrong baby? We have to be quiet remember” I whispered

Thankfully she was never a loud baby

“I’m hungry mama” she said as she laid her head against my shoulder

“I know sweetie, here I’ll give you the can a peaches only if you promise to give me one!” I said as I reached into my pocket to give her

She opened up the lid and chewed on the peaches I found in an abandoned house

“Here mama!!” She smiled as she pressed a peach against my lips

“Thanks love!” I said with my mouth full

I’ve been so hungry I’ve given her most of the food because she was at a crucial stage of growing and I’d do anything for her

We came to a stop at the end of the road to a big metal wall that circled something but I heard voices in there! Maybe they’d take us in

“HELLO!” I called out that’s when I heard guns clink and people above the wall looking down at me with guns raised

“What do you want?” A guy with ginger hair called out

“Do you have room for two more? We’ve been wandering around for 2 years” he looked at me then at Willow in my arms

He disappeared, that’s when the gate opened

“How did you find this place?” He asked

“I was just walking hoping to come across another house to get some food, it’s just been me and her for a while I just want a safe place for her to grow….please” I said as I looked down at willow who looked scared she wasn’t use to other people

“Okay you can come in but you’ll need to talk to our main guy he says who can stay” the guy said as he stepped aside and let me in as he closed the gate behind me

I was shocked, this was actually a normal town this is the perfect place for willow, and there were kids running around

“Look Willow! You can have friends here baby!” She smiled as I placed her down on the ground

“Is she safe to play with them?” I asked

“She’ll be okay! It’s safe here”

“Go on willow go play!” She was excited and ran off with the kids they looked excited to have another kid to play with

“I’m y/n by the way!”

“I’m Abraham!” The ginger said

~~~~~~

I was waiting with them by the gate for their leader to come back and judge if we could stay that’s when the gates opened and I heard the rumble of a motorcycle

A car and motorcycle came in and I couldn’t believe my eyes, I ran up to the motorcycle as he got of the bike

“Daryl is that really you?” I asked as he turned to look at me

He looked at me and pulled me into a hug, I could hear him cry

“I can’t believe it’s ya, I’ve missed ya so much, I looked everywhere for ya” he cried as he pulled back to look at me

I was crying now too, I placed my hands on his face and pulled him into a kiss

“I looked for you too, I’ve been looking everyday, but I found you” I smiled as he wiped my tears away

“Mama! I made friends!” Willow screamed as she latched into my leg

“Awe I’m glad baby!” I said as I kneeled down to her

Daryl kneeled down in front of us and looked confused and a little hurt

“And who’s this?” He asked but he had to know she looked just like him, his blue eyes and dark brown hair

“Mama is this daddy, like from the photo you showed me?” Willow asked before I could answer him

“Yes willow this is your dad, Daryl meet willow, she’s almost 2!”

Daryl looked like he was gonna cry again, she jumped in his arms and he held her tight

“It was scary being pregnant and alone out there and then I gave birth to her alone but she’s always been a good quiet kid! She takes after her father for that” I laughed as willow pulled back and giggled

“I’m sorry I didn’t find you”

“It’s okay daryl I’m home now”

[residentfromnowhere]

| NOTICE |

ModernAu!SanemiShinaguzawaXReader

TW: Language, Angst, Unresolved Issues

Note: Not Proofread

“Love you, babe but sometimes you talk too much”

You pause, smile slowly fading as the words start registering in your head. Continuing he says, “Like at first, I was glad that you finally came out of that phase to where you only spoke a few words but no it’s becoming insufferable!” He says while he and some of his friends laugh more. He glanced at you for a split second before continuing to laugh. Some people in the group glance between the both of you in disbelief while others give him a death stare. All the while you just sit there, silently with your mouth parted.

I’m insufferable? I talk too much? That’s how he’s been thinking of me this whole time?

Your eyes start to water as you run back all the interactions with him and his friends and you can hear your heart slowly breaking. Your throat goes dry with ever second you sit there and listen to him rant about how insufferable and annoying you are. To him, it was just lighthearted jokes but to you, it was the start to you slowly drifting away from and he had no idea.

You and Sanemi have been dating for about two years and you thought that you could finally be yourself with someone and not feel as though you were a burden. Though he could be a total jerk at times, he made you feel safe. Beautiful. Utterly at peace. But after that night at a mutuals get together while on the rooftop sitting on the couch he completely embarrassed you in front of all of your mutual friends, something changed. The person you thought you could rust and thought highly of you actually thought the opposite and the fact he would say such things in the guise of a joke made it worse.

Something in you changed that night while you sat there not saying a word while listening to his mini rant or “jokes”. It was as if the person who you swore to protect and promised after all these years that they finally found their safespace completely stabs them in the heart in front of everyone they knew. You felt betrayed and you also felt like you betrayed yourself by trusting him. He knew how hard you worked to get yourself to open up and genuinely feel whole again so why would he break you that way?

This downward spiral started that night when you both got home. You were radio silent as he continued to talk about how he had an amazing time at the party. He kept looking for you to agree or at least nod but he received nothing. Continuing thinking that maybe you didn’t hear him, he proceeds to ask why you stopped talking. “You know I love your voice, why didn’t you talk?” Didnt you say that I was annoying? That I talked too much? And now you love it?

You pause, not knowing that your face twisted into a mixture of anger and disbelief. You quickly turn around and head to the bedroom, not wanting to cry in front of him. He was a bit tipsy sure but aware enough to know when something was wrong and when he saw your face briefly change, there was no denying that something was up.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” He says while following you to the bedroom. Since at this point you completely shut down, he wasn’t getting a peep out of you and this is something you haven’t done in over a year due to thinking he was your safespace. It’s now like you and through a factory reset and can or want to no longer talk.

You are what’s wrong.

You continue to take off your jewelry and then do something you haven’t done since the beginning of the relationship, you take the clothes you picked out for bed and go to the bathroom which snaps Sanemi out of his tipsy state. You used to do this due to the fear of being judged but slowly got comfortable with him to undress in front of him because he always made you feel like your body was the most beautiful thing on this planet. Now though, you wonder if all of that was a lie to shut you up about your body images issues you used to mention to him.

You’re questioning everything up to this point. Every word, every gesture, everything. You slam the door behind you before he could get another word in, leaving him there with a confused. Not leaving the bathroom for the rest of the night while he after a few persistent knocks, gave up and passed out on the bed. He thought that maybe you were just tired and had nothing to say at that moment. But little did he know that the weight of his words will soon be the consequences of his actions.

The next couple of weeks were quiet. Usually, you would happily wake him up in the morning with breakfast in hand and talk about yours and his plans for the day but not once did you do that. Besides the cause “morning” you basically became a ghost. He didn’t notice it at first due to usually spacing out or focusing on other things but around the end of the fourth week, he started noticing.

Your blank stares, short “yes” or “no” answers, the lack of conversations throughout the day and most of all, your voice. The one thing he thought would always be there was your voice. He worked so hard to hear that beautiful voice of yours wether you’re laughing, crying, arguing or just making silly noises and once he got to hear it, it was if he forgot how hard he worked, how much trust he had to earn to hear it. He won’t lie, you would talk his head off at times but never did he ever think you would just stop.

He sat at the kitchen table, wondering what happened or if he did something wrong to make you stop talking. To make you stop everything and then it hit him. Since the party a couple of weeks back, you have completely stopped interacting with him in the ways you used to and that he must have done something stupid in order for you to do so. Suddenly, he hears you unlocking the door to the apartment and he jumps up, shocked that you didn’t call him and that he just now noticed how distant you have been.

I’m a fucking dumbass. How did I just now notice?

Without hesitation, he walks up to you and grabs your shoulders. You look at him in shock, not anticipating what he was going to say next. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He says while watching for a reaction. You stand there and as if your mouth had a mind of its own says “Why? So you can tell everyone how I’m back to being insufferable?” And with that you could see his eyes widen. He scoffed in disbelief. “When did I say-“ before he could finish, you cut him off with a quiet “Forget it” and push by him. He froze in place by the sudden realization of what he said back then. He never meant to hurt you nor make you feel like this but of course he had to say some stupid shit and ruin what little confidence or faith in him you had.

The next hour is a one sided conversation. You silently clearing your things and he pressing you for answers. There were several things that he said that made you want to cry and furthered your desire to leave but the straw that broke the camels back is when he said in a fit of rage over your lack of response says “Actually, I’m glad you finally got the hint and stopped yapping so much. It’s been peaceful since you stopped”.

As soon as it left his mouth, he regretted every single thing he said. Tears started falling down your face and his heart dropped. “Y/N, wait i-“ you grab your bags and push by him, not leaving him any room to say anything else. You feel yourself being tugged backward by your bag. You don’t know what possessed you to do so but when you felt your hand connect with his face and the sound of it echoing across the apartment you once shared with him, but whatever did made you realized that the decision of leaving was the best one. You took one last look before uttering “we are done” and leaving, slamming the door behind you. You didn’t stick around long enough to see him trying to rush out and stop you because by then, you were in your car and long gone. Maybe it was for the best so why are you balling your eyes out, wishing you would have stayed?

[everlastinghistory]

Hating children isn’t normal:

I’ve noticed a trend in recent years of people genuinely hating children. No, I’m not talking about people who just don’t want kids. That is completely fine. What is not fine is the people who truly think children should not be allowed in public. People who think children should not be allowed to behave like children.

Personally, I think this has ties to iPad kids issue. People hate when children act like children in public. So, parents have started giving their kids cartoons and games in public. If they don’t, they get judged and harassed for simply being in the space they are in.

Children are a part of society. People seem to have completely forgotten this fact. Children are people too. They have real feelings that are deserving of respect. Yes, that baby is crying. If you were hungry and physically could not feed yourself, you would cry too. Yes, that toddler is crying, that is the age stage where children are being taught emotional regulation.

“Kids need to be banned from public spaces.” Do you hear yourself? Do you hear how insane that sounds? Replace “kids” with any other group, I dare you.

This also expands to people hating parents. People get called selfish for having kids. For doing the very thing human bodies are designed to do. (No I am not saying everyone has to have kids. I’m saying from a biological standpoint your body is made to procreate). I’ve seen people make comments about parents essentially saying they must be miserable because they “have to” watch their kids activities. Because they go to sports games, they go to school talent shows. Like okay, it’s not for you. But I would do anything to get to give a child the happiness of their mom watching them participate in the things they love. And so would so many other women. And that’s okay.

Mothers are not miserable. Fathers are not miserable. If they love their child they are happy with getting to do these things. They don’t view it as “I have to go to my kids soccer game tomorrow” they view it as “I get to go to my kids soccer game tomorrow”.

Don’t start with the “what about ism” that constantly gets thrown into these arguments either. Yes I’m aware there’s people who have kids who don’t love their kids. That does not mean nobody does. You are taking a minority and generalizing it to the whole group. Another thing I would love for you to replace with any group other than kids and see where you stand.

You are allowed to not want children of your own. Of course you are. That is a personal decision. However, you do not get to choose for the entire world whether they have kids or not. You are entitled to a child free life not a child free world. People are allowed to do things you personally would not do.

Children aren’t even old enough to have done anything to hate them for. They are perhaps the strangest group to hate. Children are the very definition of innocent. Yet you still hate them.

If you hate children, you are the problem in that equation. Children have hardly even existed yet. You don’t have a real reason to hate them. You just hate seeing people be happy with choices you wouldn’t personally make.

[artsybelle1015]

Vil x Anxious!Female!Reader

A short fic about Vil being worried for the prefect.

warnings: reader is a female and uses she/her pronouns, also is Yuu, panicking and anxiety, spoilers for book 5!!! not proof read!

•••

“You,” Vil snapped to her. “Get up and fix your posture, you own this place now act like it.”

Life had been bothersome for [Y/N] ever since the SDC group had to intrude on her home. First off is Ace and Deuce, they were loud and hurt her ears, she loved them but couldn’t be around them too long because of the pain. Then, there was Kalim and Jamil, who always were arguing one sidedly. Kalim was loud as well, but Jamil was scary, he seemed like he would snap at any second. Lastly, surprisingly took the cake for the worst scenario of people who could live with him, the Pomefiore trio.

Firstly, Epel wasn’t as bad as the other two, but he was always making semi-sexist remarks and miserable around the house. Second, Rook was straight up creepy and had a vibe, he may mean well but at the same time she felt some privacy to be gone. Him even looking at her made her feel like he knew her darkest secrets.

Vil was the worst of them all though, making a strict eating plan, strict bedtime, and always judging everyone for anything. She was a frightened soul always, his stares made it no better. Those eyes were filled with disgust. Despite that, she could never be the confident manager he wants, she can’t support them the way he wishes.

She didn’t want part of this, it was the other three of her friends who did, but Crowley forced this on her. How cruel can someone be? Grim was already enough to deal with!

Although he had the best intentions, everyone was scared of Vil (apart from Rook) and thought he was out of line for his training. Deep down, everyone knew he was right and had the best intentions in mind, they all had a goal to win and he knew what to do.

He wasn’t a bad person, but she crumbled in the corner of the hallways, his figure looming over her. She had been triggered by Ace and Deuce arguing and just wanted some quiet, not to be interrogated. A cry broke out from her which caught even Vil by surprise.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, pushing the front of her body more towards the walls. Everything was getting to her, she just wanted some peace.

Instead of getting angry, he only sat down beside her. “I agree they are being horrendous now as of currently though, if it weren’t for them I promise you this would be a respectful house. You though, need to calm down and go somewhere more appropriate instead of breaking down in the hallways.”

This made her feel worse, shying away from him more.

He sighed, “Okay, how about we go for a walk.”

This surprised her a bit, she wasn’t used to that forward of kindness, she shot a look to make sure he wasn’t fooling around. He wasn’t, of course he wasn’t he is Vil Schoenheit, a celebrity dedicated to his crafts.

“May I hold your hand?”

She slowly nodded, still stunned. He merely just grabbed her hand and walked her to the downstairs and outside, ignoring any comment being made. His skin was silky and smooth as expected, and the dorm uniform sleeve felt like a comforting velvet.

“Listen, although crying isn’t a solution, I don’t wish for you to feel unsafe,” he declared, taking them to the main street. “You may or may not have realized this, but we rely on you too, so I need you to be in your best shape.”

“Rely on me?” she sniffled, tears may have calmed down, but her voice was still horsed.

He didn’t say anything, just held tighter onto her hand and continued to stride forward. Although he spoke the truth, he didn’t want to admit her he wanted to see her happy and well for peace of mind.

•••

a/n: ik this is bad and not long, but it was practice for me with my own yuu basically and also because i haven’t completed my other two fics i’m working on since they’re long and detailed augh

[xreaderbooks]

Paradise on Earth (15)

Chapter: 15. The Darkest Hour

Pair: JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Language and violence (drowning, choking)

Summary: JJ and Y/n visit John B in jail while also planning on how to get him out.

A/N: Are you surprised? Me too baes. Enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments. Send me a message or comment if you wanna be tagged ;)

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Masterlist - Series Masterlist - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Rage fueled in your veins at the injustice of the system your brother had fallen victim to. John B was charged with murder in the first degree with aggravated circumstances and the possible death penalty. You sat throughout his trial, silently praying for the downfall of everyone sitting in the courtroom staring and whispering ill wishes his way.

Everything leading up to this moment had formed a deep pit that your heart just wanted to scream into. This didn’t make any sense, this wasn’t fair and the true cause of this was sitting a few feet away from you playing the part of the distraught victim. You didn’t realize you were staring and that they were taking John B away already.

There were no words of comfort that you could give him, there was no use, you would visit him as soon as he was processed into the system. Sarah called out to him and reached with her hand but was quickly pulled back by two officers standing in her path.

People filed out of the courtroom with praise to the judge and jury, grateful that ‘that criminal is finally off the streets’. Each word spoken in disrespect to your brother shortened the very short leash that your patience was on.

‘Justice is served’ ‘He had it coming’ Murmurs that were not made to be subtle were heard all around you. Each phrase made to jab at your brother was a tick in the timer of a bomb waiting to explode- you were going to explode. It wouldn’t do any good, of that you were sure, that was why you kept your mouth shut throughout the trial and as you walked outside with your friends.

Sarah's eyes and face were puffy from crying, you were sure she cried enough for the both of you, as soon as you got home you would be right next to her with tissues with matching tear streaks. “I should have never come home,” She stated.

“They’re gonna kill him, I know it” JJ commented.

“I am so sorry for what you and your family have gone through,” You heard an older kook say to Ward. “Thank God the system works.”

You turned from the direction you were walking in to face the voice that ignorantly spoke, “Can you shut up?” You walked their way and made your voice strong, “Of course, you think the system worked because it was made to protect you and people like you.”

“He’ll have his day in court and a jury will decide,” The man with peppered hair and fancy suit replied.

“He shouldn’t even be in court!” You exclaimed.

Kiara walked up from behind you a bitter look on her face, facing Ward and pointing directly at him as she spoke. “You should, ‘Cause you’re a murderer.”

You placed a hand on her shoulder and stepped forward, “You have a lot of nerve showing up to court. Showing your face while my brother is in jail with the possibility of the death penalty, because of you!”

Ward held out a hand like he was trying to calm a dog from attacking, “I know you’re upset. I understand you’re upset-”

“Upset?” You seethed. A couple of police officers had made their way to where the group that formed was standing. Against your better judgment, all the pent-up emotion came out as you lunged for Sarah’s father. “No, I’m not just upset!”

Shoupe from your left had gotten a hold of your elbow, Officer Thomas grabbed your right. They forcefully backed you up, Pope was behind you steadying you by your biceps warning Officer Thomas to get off of you. JJ, Sarah, and Kie blocked their way to you as soon as you were released.

“Why don’t you take the kooks down for a change Shoupe?” JJ asked the officer.

“You wanna get arrested?” Shoupe stared you down, He pointed at your group “Get out! You need to go.”

You saw red, you didn’t care if you went to jail or got the death penalty so long as Ward was dead. Whatever awaited him in the afterlife had better be something worse than hell for everything you and your friends had to go through. You inhaled hoping it would help the ongoing anger.

Sarah put her arm around your shoulders, “C’mon. It’s not worth it.”

“I'm so sorry, you shouldn’t be going through this,” Deputy Plumb’s voice was heard consoling the Camerons. You shook your head and rolled your eyes refusing to look over, thankfully Kie spoke up for you.

“It’s not a coincidence that your daughter’s sitting with us!”

~~~

By the time the pogues were settled in the Chateau, the weather had matched everyone's mood. It seems like everyone had gone through the five stages of grief within the hour. On the way to your house, furious comments were made by Kie and JJ in your defense, in John B’s, and on the audacity of the people who had no fucking clue what was actually going on. Silence took over for a good twenty minutes, surprisingly not a word from JJ, the only sound coming from the rain pattering on top of the roof.

“I’m gonna testify under oath, I was there” Sarah announced. “I just need to get a hold of my sister.”

“Sister?” JJ muttered under his breath.

“I was there too,” You said. “His sister and his girlfriend, they’ll discredit us without a thought Sarah.”

“We would be under oath, they can’t just arrest us if they think we’re lying. We have to try,” She responded. “Kie, Do you have your phone? Wheezie is the only other person that knows Rafe wasn’t home that day.”

“Wheezie?” JJ breathed incredulously.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Kie hands Sarah her phone. “I got us into this mess, I’m gonna do my best to get us out.”

Wheezie was a smart girl but if she was the only hope to get John B out of jail, you didn’t know if you would put all your eggs in that particular basket.

“Yeah, that’ll work.” JJ scoffed. “Well, she’s right about one thing. We gotta do something, Our boy is held captive by the enemy right now, maybe even scheduled for execution. Are we just gonna sit here?”

“What’s the plan then?” Kiara stood from the armchair in the corner of the porch. “We start by kidnapping Shoupe?”

“That’s not the worst idea actually.” The scary part is, he looked deadly serious. You couldn’t help but cackle, exhaustion and delirium were what kept you going. 

You love him, in moments like this when everything was so utterly fucked, it scared you how much the feeling overwhelmed you. The way he kept fighting for your brother made you feel safe. Although it was the most outrageous idea but that was JJ.

Kie and JJ stopped their bickering to give you an odd look, the silence and a full minute of laughing like a crazy person to the point of tears falling out of the corners of your eyes, you stabilized yourself. You wiped the tears from the corner of your eyes.

“That is the worst idea you’ve ever had,” You told the blue-eyed boy.

“It’s pretty bad.” Sarah agreed from inside the house as she typed away at Kie’s phone.

“Just stay out of this, okay?” JJ’s annoyance with Sarah was obvious.

“No, honestly though,” Pope’s features were stern. “What is the actual plan? You’re gonna storm a jail, guns a-blazing?”

“All I’m trying to get you to understand is they got our boy,” Pope and JJ are face to face now. “Are just gonna sit here and do nothing? No! We’re gonna get his ass, we’re gonna do something about it!”

The enthusiasm was encouraged but so was logical thinking. You watched as Pope tried to keep JJ from ‘thinking’ out his plans.

“We’re not storming a jail, it’s not happening.”

“Fine, man. Sit in your comfy chair and do nothing.” He looked you in the eye in full seriousness, an invitation to follow him in his plan yet his words trying to shame you all for not wanting to take immediate action. “I’m gonna see what I can do, make something happen. Even if I have to do it by myself.”

JJ runs out of the front porch, straight for his bike.

“Should we be worried?” Pope asks.

“Yes,” Kie sighs and shrugs. “I’m gonna git up my parents and see if I can get money for a lawyer.”

You decide to let Kie and Pope talk amongst themselves about the logistics and go after JJ was sitting on his bike, almost like he was waiting for you.

“Change your mind, Princess?” He takes off his cap and places it on your head to shield you from the rain even though it’s pointless now.

You swing your leg over the bike to straddle it and wrap your arms around his waist. “Just go before I change it again.”

~~~

“Now where exactly are you taking us?” You say in his ear as he whips past all his cars on his bike.

“We’re going to visit a certain jailbird!”

You weren’t sure if it was even allowed considering it had only been hours since he was sentenced but you knew that JJ would find a way.

Turns out his plan was fucking stupid, not reckless for once, and for that, you were thankful but definitely stupid. He parked by a tree in front of the Kildare County detention center, and two officers walked down the steps and right past the both of you. JJ being extra, stood at attention and saluted them as they walked. You look at him annoyed and he simply smiles, you push him in front to follow his lead.

JJ did some thoughtless acts but Jesus he looked good doing them. He stopped by his house to change from his wet clothes that were soaked from the rain to a pair of dry jeans and a clean white shirt. He also grabbed his headphones and mp3 player. He fixed his hair, put on a pair of sunglasses and suddenly he was giving James Dean. It was bad timing for your heart to stutter the way it did when you saw him change his shirt in front of you as if you hadn’t seen him shirtless before.

It was over when he pulled out a shirt- your shirt- from deep within his messy closet. It was from when you slept over that one time, you must have left it here and forgot to pack it. The moment felt so domestic, too domestic, it messed with your emotions and you already have too many with everything going on.

You trained yourself to focus on the task at hand, ignoring the wrongness you felt from the sleepover with JJ and then actually having sex with Rafe (with some feelings that you’d rather not get into), the treasure, John B in jail… it was all too much.

“We’re here to see John B Routledge,” JJ said loudly. He had his headphones on with the volume to his music all the way up.

“No music, and get rid of the toothpick.” The man at the front desk enunciated his words.

“I can’t hear what you’re saying man, these things are on full blast.” JJ tapped on his headphones, not caring at all what the officer had to say. “We’re here to see John B Routledge.”

The officer looked to you, “Can you get your friend to take his headphones off? There’s no music allowed and you both need to clear your pockets if you wanna see the inmate.”

“Can do, sir.” You place your empty wallet that only had a couple of bucks and your permit, and your phone (that was dead). “He, unfortunately, has a mind of his own.”

He took a breath and mimed what he wanted JJ to do, taking off the headphones and toothpick.

JJ glanced at you then at the man and took off the headphones hanging them around his neck, “I mean, I thought it was a free country and all but I guess you don’t like freedom very much. Now do you, cupcake?” He smiled slyly, leaning on the desk with his forearm.

Now you supposed you shouldn’t be surprised by what he had the balls to say but your jaw fell open anyway, you covered your mouth and looked around to see if anyone else had heard that.

Turns out the Officer had enough of JJ toying with him and took JJ by his biceps and pinned him to the wall. You picked at your nail nervously, until the Deputy came and told the front desk guy that it wasn’t worth it.

JJ kept a wide smile as he saw her, “Good to see you Plumb. Nice to have something in your mouth, you know.”

“Take off your hat and empty your pockets.”

“Yes, ma’am.” JJ finally did what was told and placed his things next to yours winking at you when Plumb led the way to where you can see John B.

You flinched as you passed by a prisoner who slammed a fist on the window of his cell. He called out to you, “Why don’t you come in here?”

Next to you, JJ guided you to go in front of him through the threshold of the visitation area, Plumb told you both that you only had five minutes.

There he was, in an orange jumpsuit, wrists in cuffs. You wanted to hug him, tell him it was gonna be okay and that you were gonna get him out of this. The only one of those things you were gonna be able to do is the latter and only if you were able to figure out a plan which you didn’t have.

You sat to John B’s right, getting a good look at him now, his eye was still bruised from the beating they gave him when he was first arrested. The anger came bubbling back that formed in tears until you all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“I thought it was gonna be me,” JJ chuckled.

“I think we all did,” You sniffed.

“Welcome to my humble abode.”

“When you said you had a new apartment, I had no idea,” JJ fidgeted with the visitation card they handed you both as you were officially signed in to visit.

You patted the top of the metal table, “It’s cozy. A little aluminum theme.”

“Yeah, I like to go for the cold, dark…”

“Alone, kind of theme?” JJ continued John B’s description for him, they nodded in sync. “Look, I would love to sit and chitchat but I’m on the clock and I’m here for one reason only, okay?”

Your eyes widened as you thought about the jailbreak idea JJ was playing with earlier. Was this it?

“Operation liberation, baby.” You facepalmed once the words came out of his mouth.

“Hear me out though, step one; piss off the cops so badly they don’t see what’s coming.” He waved at an officer that walked by the window looking in. “Check.”

“Was that what that whole thing was?” You slapped his arm, “A warning would have been nice.”

“Your right, I could’ve used some backup but your reaction was hilarious so it’s fine,” JJ was delusional. You ignored the fact that he really thought he was gonna pull this off as he laid out his plan. “Step two; at exactly 11 p.m. this evening, you’re going to have an attack of acute appendicitis.”

John B looked like he was doing the same thing you were, “Do you even know what appendicitis is?”

JJ’s pupils were dilated as he explained, “Remember eighth grade, algebra final?”

“Jesus Christ,” John B breathed. JJ faked appendicitis once before a test in eighth grade and was able to get away with it and this was the plan he was going with. You were glad you knew how it worked to visit JB in jail now since you were gonna have to get used to the process.

“It worked like a charm, to sell it, you gotta actually look sick though okay?” Not an ounce of a joke was heard in his voice. “You got some of that ghost face sunblock in here?”

“Be so fucking for real right now,” You kept your face in your hands stressfully, your head shaking in disbelief.

“JJ, I’m in jail. I have a block of soap, that’s it.”

“Is it white?”

Hesitantly John B replied “Yes-”

“Perfect, that’ll work. Take some of that, rub it into your face well, got it? You don’t want that shit rubbing off when they check your vitals.” JJ added. “After that, run your hands under cold water for five minutes. After that, you’re ready. Showtime baby, stumble out and collapse. Once you’re down on the ground squealing, they’ll rush you to the infirmary. There, you just have to convince the nurse that that sucker’s about to burst.”

He began to visually show John B the details of where the nurse will check him, John B’s acting skills would have to be absolutely flawless and without any doubt to pull all that off.

“I get it, I get it.” John B glances behind his shoulder and leans in closer, “Then what?”

“No fucking way, John B,” You stare at him in disbelief. “JJ he’s not doing this.”

JJ didn’t acknowledge you, “They’re gonna eject you to the hospital. Remember Cousin Ricky?”

“The weed dealer?” You questioned.

“He’s an EMT.”

“He sold us our first dime bag,” John B mentions.

“So? You can do both. It’s a gig economy, bro.” JJ shrugs. “Now, step three is extraction.”

“This is the dumbest freaking idea you’ve ever had.” John B states, at least you weren’t the only one thinking it.

“Yeah, you’re probably right but you know what’s even more dumb? You thinking you got any other way out of this.”

“JJ, this is a fortress.” John B explains, “They've got barbed wire, cinder blocks, guards on every corner-”

JJ stops John B from shutting him down further. “Don’t, you’re not the detail guy. Leave it to the professionals.”

“If you think that we’re the professionals in this you’re so mistaken,” You shake your head in disapproval.

Plumb was by the door telling you both that your time with your brother was up.

“You gotta trust me on this one,” JJ says and moves out of his seat giving John B his last words. “Nothing to lose now, 11 P.M.”

John B stares at you with a silent question, you squeeze his hand before leaving the visitation area behind JJ. Plumb led you down an unfamiliar path to the exit. She scans her badge before opening a metal door, JJ goes through first and goes towards another door to the right. It was an inmate basketball court, his dad was dribbling and blocking against another prisoner.

“Dad!” JJ pounds on the door trying to get Luke’s attention. “Dad!”

“Let’s go,” Plumb shoves JJ away from the door. If you didn’t know any better you would say she brought you both this way on purpose to get a rise of him. It was her way of giving him a sign that said ‘You could just as easily end up here.’

Seems like JJ caught on as well, he clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly as he noted, “I see what you did there Plumb.”

Your jaw tightened as you saw the way she was handling JJ, forcing him out of the center. “I just have one question before we leave. How much are you splitting with Shoupe?”

She shoved you harshly into JJ, “You’ll be back here one day, both of you. It’s in your blood.”

JJ started to walk away defeated but you wouldn’t, you couldn’t. This wasn’t what your life would be, not yours, not JJ’s. John B was wrongly accused and JJ was not his dad, “Fuck you, bi-”

“Y/n, come on.” JJ put his hand on the small of your back to lead you away from the officer who was meant to ‘protect and serve’.

“What a bitch!” You spat. The nerve of her, you had taunted her but deep down you knew that she was probably getting a major payday from Ward. Instead of letting you see your brother in peace, she just had to bring you down even further as if she wasn’t breaking major laws. “She’s a hypocrite JJ, she's not a fucking fortune teller to tell us what our future will look like.”

He didn’t say anything in response solely making sure you were ready before revving up the bike and driving away from the detention center.

~~~

You told him you weren’t going to join him in his plans, he looked disappointed but since he was off from earlier he left you at the Chateau without a fight. You felt guilty knowing JJ definitely had a lack of support but you would only be a hindrance to the plan if you did go along with it. Instead, you found Sarah in one of John B’s shirts already several feet away from the house.

You ran up to her and asked her if she got in contact with Wheezie to which she said she was on her way to meet her.

“We’re here,” She whispered to herself clutching her gunshot wound as she checked the other side of the dock.

Wheezie apparently had texted her to meet her at the harbor. You went straight and paused, Rafe came around the corner. “Sarah,” You said in a small voice backing away slowly.

“Nah not wheezie.”

“Where the hell is Wheezie?” Sarah questioned from behind you.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rafe stepped closer with his hands half up in surrender. “Listen, it’s all good. I- I just needed to talk to you for a little bit.”

The stutter in his voice concerned you, he was out of it and it was only you and Sarah out here on the docks at night with this psychopath. Every step he took to close the distance between the three of you, you and Sarah held hands and stepped away.

“Is that okay?” He asked looking at you and then at Sarah. He reached for you “Y/n-”

“Don’t come near me,” You held your hand out in front of you defensively.

He sighed and focused his attention on Sarah, “What you do affects me, you don’t think of that, do you?”

“You shot me, Rafe.”

“That’s it, right?” He exasperated. “It’s always my fault like you know, I wanna keep what’s mine. That I got by my work and I’m the bad guy for trying to- to hold on to it?”

His pacing and waving of his hands while he talks make it clear that he’s unhinged. In comparison to the way, you and Sarah are frozen in your spots waiting for Rafe to make one move.

“It’s not yours,” Sarah tries to express.

“Like I’m wrong to protect what’s mine, huh?” His voice raises a couple more octaves. Chills run up your arms at his projection. Your mind takes you back to the night you spent together and you suddenly feel nauseous. His voice softens as he approaches Sarah, “Listen to me. The cops are going to talk to you and I need to make sure the story’s straight.”

Sarah speaks up, “You killed Peterkin. My story’s straight, listen this would go so much better for you if you would-”

His eyes roll to the back of his head in a lazy drug hazed way, “Who are you trying to protect here?”

“I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“You doing the right thing is the reason that you got shot because you were following John B.”

“John B might get the death penalty because of you!” She snaps.

“That!” Rafe points as he backs away and sits on a barrel. “That right there is exactly what I’m talking about Sarah, you’ve always been against me!”

She shakes her head, no, A threatening tone takes over “Don’t shake your head, you still are. You’re not just against me, you’re against us and you know, Dad always takes your side. Cause you’re gonna cry in front of him like you cried in front of me, but you- both of you listen to me. I am a proactive type of person and we have a problem, and I gotta solve that problem tonight.”

You glance at Sarah who’s shaking where she stands, you inch to the right, and Rafe follows your movement with his eyes.

“Do you understand?” He asks then shouts it at the both of you again, “Do you understand!”

You and Sarah took that as the queue to run. He runs after you, you were faster as you got a headstart but that meant that Sarah got caught by Rafe. He slammed her against a large blue plastic container that held water.

“Rafe!” You screamed, “Rafe!”

“Back off Y/n, I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

You heard Sarah begging Rafe to stop, you ran back and tried to push him off of her but with one hand he backhands you to the ground.

With a hand on your left cheek, he made you bleed with a ring he was wearing, “You’re drowning your sister!”

“She’s not my sister!” He shouted back at you with a harsh tone. “Not anymore.”

Sarah’s tears flowed freely, she let out a whimper as he tightened his grip on her throat. “Rafe, please.” You begged.

“Y/n I swear to god!” His voice was close to a growl.

“You swear to God what?” You lifted yourself up from the ground and came closer to where Rafe was drowning Sarah. You were hoping to bait him into letting Sarah go and focus his attention on you. If he was distracted enough to taunt you or hurt you then maybe Sarah would have a chance to breathe. “You’d hurt me? Cause you already have, Rafe.”

He screams as Sarah struggles, she gasps with two seconds of air before she is submerged again.

You try to pry him off of her but he releases her instead and grabs your wrists as he had many times before. “I would never hurt you, Y/n, she brought this on herself!”

His fingers were white and you felt your bones being compressed from his hold. His nails were digging into your skin making you want to kneel and clutch your arms but he was too strong. Sarah was free and coughing up the water in her lungs, exhausted from her fight. His right hand comes up and clutches your throat.

“I loved you,” You whispered.

His forehead was on yours, stray fell from his eye and onto your cheek, “I love you too, Y/n.”

You kept his eyes trained on yours without giving him doubt despite the fact that you were getting strangled by your former lover. You attempted to breathe air but the hold he had on your throat prevented your airways from being able to inhale properly.

Topper- who you had no idea where he came from- has a finger to his lips as he inches closer and whacks him in the head.

Rafe fell onto his back and you wheeze, able to breathe again, you go to Sarah who holds an arm out for you.

“Sarah, are you okay?” Topper rushes to her side and asks her, “Can you breathe?”

She nods and hugs him, your hands were on your knees, and you look at Rafe on the ground and sob. All your previous moments with him, your confession to him, his confession to you. What had just happened. He drowned Sarah and strangled you while confessing to being in love with you.

You felt nausea come back up again, you couldn’t hold it. Your insides came up and out through your mouth, you vomited in the dark water at the edge of the dock.

~~~

Next Chapter

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(If your name is crossed that means Tumblr won’t let me tag you.)

[akkrosu]

Thank you, @recentadultburnout, for tagging me and asking for my nine favorite TV shows! I might have gone a little overboard because I haven’t been tagged a lot before, but please indulge me.

This is going to be limited to QLs, if only because I couldn’t think of a single piece of Western (or straight) media I love and/or remember well enough to be able to put on this list. The ones I have chosen are below, in no particular order.

1. The Untamed

This one belongs here both for being a fantastic story and for being the reason I even discovered any of the other series on this list. My entire “obsessed with Asian queer media” thing started all because a friend once told me, “Let me show you what I’ve been watching recently.” What can I say, drunk Lan Zhan got to me.

2. Moonlight Chicken

One of the most beautiful, thought-provoking and mature series I’ve ever seen, QL or otherwise. P’Aof is a genius and I would have to hide in shame if I didn’t have at least one of his works on this list. He created a narrative of six real people trying to figure out life and how to be happy and there is so much strength in every single one of them.

3. Not Me

With at least three watchthroughs one of my most-watched BLs. I mean, OffGun and the social commentary and political action and the queerness of it all and the characters. Ugh, I love this show. Plus, the music and musical editing were phenomenal.

4. Where Your Eyes Linger

Probably my favorite Korean BL ever? Also the KBL to really get me into KBLs, so it already deserves a medal for that (I was missing out on so much). I’m a sucker for good yearning and forbidden relationships, and this series gave me everything I wanted. And, again, the soundtrack. The instrumental of See U playing as Kang Gook storms Tae Joo’s dad’s house lives rent-free in my mind.

5. HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

Yes, it’s the other HIStory 3, the one everyone ignores because ‘he went out to buy salt’. Look, don’t judge me, I own up to my love for this series. It’s not the show’s fault all anyone ever remembers is the tragic ending. It’s also such a beautiful story about a total dork falling in love with a lonely nerd and defying all odds to be with him. Plus, the best sibling relationship ever. And (spoiler) said dork dying doesn’t invalidate everything else the series tells us. Yes, it was sad, but I can deal with the sadness. And sometimes, the sadness is as much part of a show as it is of life.

6. The Eclipse

This series haunts me to this day. I was obsessed with it, and I still am. Akk is one of my favorite characters ever written, and First portrayed him beautifully. So did Khaotung with Ayan. The sheer existence of P’Golf baffles my mind to this day. These 12 episodes gave me everything I’ve ever wanted.

7. The Eighth Sense

I take back what I said about Where Your Eyes Linger. This is my favorite KBL. I’m not even sure I can explain why. It’s just so honest. And so, so queer. It made me cry so many times, and the storytelling was magnificent. Plus, it’s one of the few full-length KBLs we have.

8. We Best Love

The cups in my profile picture are the ones Yu Zhenxuan and Pei Shouyi drink out of in the flashbacks of the second season, so... yeah.

This was my very first QL that wasn’t a bromance, and so I’m very biased. I’m almost mad at myself for making this my first one, because sometimes it feels like nothing else could ever live up to it. I admit to having a special love for season 1, even though season 2 seems to be the one people talk about a lot more. It’s just perfect, everything about it. Especially Gao Shide’s mom.

9. My School President

What a phenomenal show. I remember how much I was looking forward to Fridays during the time this was airing, and each week it gave me everything I wanted. Gemini and Fourth are fantastic actors, the friend groups made me cry all the time, it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen, and there are some absolute bangers in there, musically speaking. Gun and Tinn will always have a special place in my heart.

Some honorable mentions because it’s really hard to pin down exactly nine:

Never Let Me Go – I spent a lot of time debating whether to put this or MSP in this list because I love them both equally. And because they aired around the same time, they are sort of irrevocably tied together in my mind.

Big Dragon – I loved this significantly more than I ever expected to, and I can’t be impartial about Yai to this day, because I love him with all my heart. This was such a messy, weird, chaotic show, and yet it somehow gave us such beauty and sappy people in love.

Step by Step – It doesn’t get to be on the list because it hasn’t finished airing yet, and so it could still fuck up, but if it keeps going like this, it is definitely going to become one of my favorites. (Same with Be My Favorite, honestly.)

I don’t know many people around here, and certainly not many I wouldn’t feel awkward tagging, but I’ll just be awkward anyway and kindly ask @ellaspore and @biochemjess if they feel up for it. I wanna know! (No pressure, though.)

[arabian-batboy]

in your opinion, which stans of the Batkids are the most toxic?

Short answer: All of them, when a character has hundreds of thousands of fans online, then there bound to be a portion of them that is toxic. They might be a small percentage of the over-all fanbase, but their toxicity makes them appear larger in numbers than they really are, but for the most part there’s really not a huge margin between how toxic different fans of the Batkids can be.

Long answer: I have been in the fandom for a couple of years now and I have interacted with my fair share of people across the fandom, so based on my own personal experience, from most toxic to least toxic, they are:

1- Tim’s stans:

To be fair, when Tim’s fans are cool, they’re REALLY cool and very fun to interact with or talk about comics. Unfortunately though, cool Tim’s fans that don't take themselves seriously are hidden gems and a huge amount of them are very very very obnoxious and their shortcoming is that they view Tim through main-character-lenses where everything has to be centered around him and everyone else is a secondary character.

The biggest reason that makes them #1 in my ranking is that they have a serious issue with thinking that Tim is simultaneously the best character to exist while also being the most oppressed character to exist, even though he’s definitely neither of those things and its just really annoying to hear someone go on about how their favorite character is so perfect and better than everyone at everything, while also crying about how their favorite character doesn’t get any love and are constantly mistreated (especially when in reality they actually get more love from DC than anyone in Gotham beside Batman & Harley)

2- Dick’s stans:

If you asked me this question a couple of years ago, they would have definitely been way lower in the list, but I don’t know what happened in recently years that made Dick’s fans so overly-defense and hostile. I understand that fanon Dick has done more damage than any other fanon interpretation of any Batkids, but attacking everyone who make the smallest light-hearted joke about Dick isn’t it.

There’s also those who are so desperate to portray Nightwing as an A-class superhero who’s a master at everything he does and is a total loner edgelord who doesn’t need anyone or has anything fun or cheerful about him and...... just stop, what you’re doing isn’t that much better than fanon portraying Dick as overly-bubbly and I know you think it makes Dick sounds cool, but in reality you just make him sound like a discount Batman.

3- Cassandra’s stans:

They’re very similar to Dick’s fans in that they used to be chill, but in recent years they decided to make their dissatisfaction of DC’s treatment of Cassandra to be everybody’s problem, which includes them popping up to anyone who’s makes the smallest complaint about how their favorite character is currently being treated to yell: “YOU THINK THEY HAVE IT BAD??? LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO CASSANDRA!!!” even if the character they’re talking about literally has ZERO things to do with Cassandra’s character.

Basically their anger is always misdirected and rarely has any positive results or discussions coming from it.

4- Damian’s stans:

I’m a Damian’s fan myself, so I might be biased, but its honestly hard to judge them because I feel like Damian’s fanbase has the most “variety” of any Batkid’s fanbase and it reached a point where some groups stan completely different versions of the same character with each group being toxic in their own special way, so I decided to put them in the middle.

I’m not gonna talk about each of them, but I feel like what all of them have in common is that they tend to over-react to things, even if they are in the right about something, they usually end up pushing too far in the other direction to the point where it blows out of proportion (but to be fair, if you leave them alone, they generally will not bother you)

5- Barbara’s stans:

Lets talk about the elephant in the room from the get-go.........almost all toxic Barbara’s stans are DickBabs shippers, I don’t know why that is and I don’t think everyone who ship them is inherently toxic, but boy are they a loud minority.

If we’re just judging Oracle’s fans then they would probably be the lowest in the list, but stans of Batgirl!Barbara and DickBabs shippers really pumped them up, especially during TT’s run of Nightwing.

6- Jason’s stans:

You know what, I never noticed this before I sat down and wrote this list, but have you noticed how most Jason’s stans are surprisingly very chill? There might be some inner-fighting going on between them, but for the most part they usually stay in their lane and don’t bother anyone unless you came for them first.

7- Duke’s stans:

Again, for the most part they are very chill and usually have great takes for all characters equally, but I feel that just like Dick’s fans, their frustration about Duke’s treatment can get the best out of them and sometimes they might go off on someone who didn’t deserve it because they didn’t like what they were saying.

8- Stephanie’s stans:

I don’t have much to say about them, but I mean come on, when was the last time you saw a Stephanie’s fan-account picking fights with other fans or insulting other characters? I personally haven’t seen one do such a thing before and while similar to Cassandra’s fans, they might give you a sob-story about Stephanie’s treatment, I feel like they’re much better about directing their frustration to DC instead of random people online or other fictional characters.

[discocannon8002]

here’s a little story for you, I need to just vent something that happened, so…

tw: being talked about behind back, brief sh/harmful stimming, self depreciation, lots of angst and not much fluff if any.

if there are ANY tw I missed. Please please please tell me, even if it’s not a common one, you probably aren’t the only one with the trigger. Anyways enjoy!

Lily is my sister the not real life name I’ve chosen for her THERE MIGHT BE A PART TWO if you guys want a fluffier resolution I can write that but this one for venting sake is just mainly if not purely angst.

summary: Bee realizes that her sister might not be as happy or close with her as she thought when she overhears something she says to a friend.

Maybe I was wrong

I’m on a youth group retreat with my church right now. I’m happy because we all chose the restaurant I wanted to go to, chili’s. Of course, if I had full control over where we went, it would’ve been Chick-fil-a, but out of the options I had I’m happy with the decision.

were staying in a rented cabin type house. It’s huge, but the only closed doors are closets and bathrooms and the master bedroom. Everything else is right out in the open. There are six sets of stairs, I counted myself, but two lead to the garage so if you’re already inside you only have to climb four to get to the girls bunk room. There are no bunk beds, so I don’t understand why it’s called that, but it has so many beds. We still had to share one bed between two people. Me and Evie shared a bed at a sleepover already so we were the ones who shared the bed. Going back to the stairs, the last set is a spiral with small steps. It’s rickety and to me terrifying to climb. I can do it, though. I sort of have to just suck it up and push through my slight fear of heights.

this time though, Lily’s friend, Sophie, is trying to go down as I go up. I panic, and since I’m elevated I can’t communicate that I want her to stay upstairs until I get up because it’s already terrifying to climb this spiral without two across. So she comes down and I just hug the pillar in the middle of the spiral and let out one of my unhappy vocal stims.

“are you okay?” She asks when she gets down, seeming worried and even after I tell her that, yes, I’m fine, she still keeps asking because she’s worried.

I head downstairs and out the front door after grabbing my bag, we choose cars and I choose the more spacious one, with Lily, Sophie and Evie. I’m happily enjoying the view out the car window, until I catch a snippet of Lily’s conversation with Sophie.

“she’s always like that, it’s like it’s 24/7. But less at school.”

I hear these words and immediately know who they’re about: me. I can put the pieces together, Sophie was probably telling Sammy something about what happened when I freaked out on the stairs, and Lily got annoyed with me. Still, I thought Sammy and I were on better terms than she thinks, which I now know.

the last thing she’d done that had really hurt me was this summer, and since then I thought she had been done with whatever phase my mom said she was going through. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I’m still not good enough. Does she talk about me this way to other friends too?

but does my autism really bother her this much? I mean I know I don’t mask at home. That’s because I trust them because I trust Lily. Because I trusted they’d not judge me, because I felt safe stimming in front of them. But maybe I should stop if Lily is that bothered by it. Maybe I should mask more around her.

I tear up and try to stop myself by digging my nails into my legs and telling myself to stop caring about what she thinks of she’ll just tear me apart like this in front of her friends who I love and really don’t want to only know the bad parts about me.

it’s like this off and on up until the restaurant, a never ending cycle of me trying to convince myself to not care what she thinks and not to cry and show her that she got to me and stimming that sometimes hurts because that hurt stops me from crying.

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

Fuck buddies XI

Warning: swearing, drinking

You spend the rest of the party trying to not think about Colson’s promise. When you come back downstairs together, no one but your group of friends seems to notice. Rook can’t hide his goofy grin. Ashleigh looks confused for a second but then you see her slowly piecing things together. Colson ducks off and returns with a drink for you. He hands it to you with a kiss on the cheek before joining Rook at the pool table. Sophie tries to ask you how it went but neither of you can hear over the music so you decide to head out to the backyard. As you sit down near the firepit, Sophie immediately begins apologising.

“I’m so sorry about dinner the other night,” she begins awkwardly. “If I’d known that Kells was just using it as an excuse to be a dick, I never would’ve pushed for you and Jacob to come.”

“It’s ok, I don't think he planned to be a dick. I think Jacob being there kind of threw him off. I don’t think he expected my date,” you shrug with a chuckle and she blushes bright red. “Wait, did he expect me to have a date?”

“No, it’s just…Well I knew he was bringing Carly and I know how she fucks with you so I kind of planned it so Jacob would be there to mess with Kells.” 

She throws her drink back to avoid eye contact with you and you let the new information bubble in your mind. No wonder Colson was so pissed to see Jacob, it wasn’t part of his messed up plan to make you jealous. The whole evening backfired on him in an epic way and there was nothing he could do about it. Does it really bother him that much to picture you dating someone else? Deep down you know the answer to that question but you find it hard to fathom.

“Can I ask you something?” Sophie fiddles with her red solo cup as she speaks, only glancing at you briefly for your response. You nod timidly and she continues. “How come you didn’t tell me about you and him…”

“If I’m being honest, I wasn’t very proud of what we were doing. I didn’t want anyone to know because I didn’t want anyone to judge me the way I was judging myself.”

“I’ve never judged you,” she whispers indignantly. “I just…I didn’t like being blindsided at dinner and then when I found out the Rook already knew-”

“I didn’t tell Rook. I was shocked that Colson told him just as much as anyone else.” you grab her hand and hold it between the two of yours, trying to convey everything you’re saying with as much force as possible. “I want you to know that I didn’t think anyone knew until Rook told me. I know I probably should’ve said something to you and Ashleigh but by then, it was over so I just…I don’t know. I was still ashamed of the whole thing and I thought that maybe Colson was too.”

You truly believed that Colson was happy to keep the whole situation a secret from everyone and maybe if he hadn’t been drunk or angry at you, it might’ve stayed that way. It never once crossed your mind that he would share it with any of your friends but you were always so worried that you’d let it slip by accident. You had nightmares that you would all be sitting together one day at someone’s house, talking and laughing, someone would make a comment and the words would just come tumbling out of your mouth. Everyone would stare at you, different shades of horror on their faces and Colson would be fuming. He’d yell and tell you it was over and you’d leave, crying. You’d wake up in a sweat, panicking and sobbing into your pillow.

Every time you were all together, the nightmare would play in your head, stressing you out. You were so guarded at times that you were worried people would think you were rude for not speaking. You felt torn between pushing your feelings for Colson down and keeping your mouth shut that paying attention to the conversations going on around you was difficult. No one will truly understand how relieved you feel now that everything's out in the open.

“So, what happened upstairs?” Sophie asks, breaking you from your deep concentration.

You immediately dive into a recount of everything that happened in Colson’s bedroom, from your conversation with Rook, to Colson’s confessions. You leave out colson’s slutty comment just before you left the room, figuring that was just for your ears only. Sophie doesn’t ask too many questions but her expressions throughout are priceless. By the time you’ve finished, both your cups are completely drained. Sophie offers to get you a refill and you eagerly accept, handing her your cup.

You sit outside by yourself. You close your eyes, soaking in the warm California breeze. After everything that’s happened, you somehow feel lighter. The burden of secrecy you’d been carrying around for the last few months had been weighing on you harder than you’d realised. You’d gotten so caught up in Colson that you didn’t even think about the emotional toll it was having on you.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” the grinding sound of Carly’s voice fills your ears and you immediately recoil at the sound. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you,” she grins and practically sits on top of you as she takes a seat on the bench you’re occupying.

“That’s ok,” you grit between your teeth. “It was my fault for thinking I’d be alone out here.” you scoot closer to the other edge of the bench.

Where the fuck is Sophie?

“So you and Kells looked pretty cosy coming down the stairs together earlier,” she says and you can hear the edge in her voice. The thought of you and Colson always did send her into a jealousy spiral. “What were you two being so chummy about?”

You want to tell her to fuck off and that it’s none of her business but you also don’t really know how to answer her question. It’s not like you and Colson put a label on things. You haven’t even had a real date. It seems weird to think about given how intimately you know each other but it’s the truth. You decide to stop pressuring yourselves and for once in your life, just go with the flow.

“Oh you know us, we always have some inside joke to keep us entertained,” you smile sweetly at her and now it’s her turn to recoil.

“I thought maybe you two had started up with your fuck buddies situation?” she twirls a strand of her hair to seem nonchalant but her intense stare tells you she’s desperate to know.

“I think that’s something you should talk to Kells about, not me.” You try to stand and walk away but Carly jumps to her feet and grabs your wrist to jerk you backwards.

“Don’t fucking walk away from me,” she spits at you, getting as close to your face as humanly possible. “You are just such a fucking hypocrite! You would get so pissed if I so much as looked at one of your boyfriends but here you are trying to steal mine out from under me!”

“Woah!” you jerk away from her and try to control your temper. “First of all, you did way more than just look and second of all, Colson hasn’t once mentioned that you two are seeing each other, so again, talk to him and leave me the fuck alone.” 

You turn and walk away before suddenly you’re on the ground and Carly is on top of you, screaming, scratching and punching any part of you she can get her hands on. You’re paralysed for a few seconds as your brain tries to comprehend what the fuck is happening. Carly has considerable size in comparison to you but you can hold your own physically. It’s not long before you have her flipped and restraining her from being able to hit you. She thrashes under you like a feral animal, cussing you out and calling you every name under the sun. You push off her and haul yourself to your feet but the crazy bitch will not let up. She comes after you again, this time landing a very precise fist to your jaw and you hit the ground, whacking your head as you land.

You’re dazed. The world is spinning and your head is pounding. You feel a kick to your side that winds you and you feel like you can’t breathe. You can hear screaming and suddenly the kicking stops. You’re trying so hard to breathe that all you’re really doing is gasping. You try to sit up but a firm hand pushes you down gently.

“It’s ok baby, stay down for a second,” you hear Colson’s deep voice and you immediately feel calm. “Here, drink some water.” 

He hands you a cup filled with cold water and you gulp it down. The water and his firm voice calms you and the world stops spinning. Your head is still sore but now that the fog has lifted, you feel it less than before. You sit up and everyone is looking at you, concerned filling their eyes. Someone big is dragging Carly out the side gate and she’s thrashing and screaming as she goes. Half of the party seems to have migrated outside and suddenly you’re super embarrassed by all the attention. You stand to your feet and stumble slightly, six different hands reaching out to stabilise you.

“Did she lose consciousness?” Ashleigh asks, taking charge of the situation. “Because if she did, she needs to go to the ER right now.”

“No!” you shout above everyone’s voices. “I didn’t lose consciousness and I am not spending all night in an ER waiting room. I just need to sit down.”

Colson wraps his arm around your waist and leads you back inside. Now that the commotion has died down, everyone goes back to enjoying the party. A few people have now begun to jump in the pool and the sound system outside is now pumping the music. Some guys carry a few kegs outside and now everyone is following the crowd. Colson pushes against all of the herding bodies to get you into the living room. You sit down on the couch, wincing at the slight pain in your side. He stares at you with scrutinising eyes so you plaster a fake smile 

across your face.

“I’m fine, really. Go back and enjoy your party,” you encourage him with a flourish of your hand and a big cheesy grin.

“After what just happened when I wasn’t looking, I’m not letting you out of my damn sight for the rest of the night.”

“I don’t want to ruin your night by making you think you have to babysit me,” you pout and he places a finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“I want to be wherever you are because I don’t have to be careful when I’m around you,” and he plants his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

You want to deepen the kiss but you know after what just happened that he’ll scold you for even trying. You want him to keep his promise and no right hook to the jaw is going to stand in your way. He pulls back and puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his side. Your group of friends begin to pile into the living room to join the two of you. Rook hands you a bag of frozen peas and you smile appreciatively. It’s such a strange mix of emotions to be able to be affectionate with Colson in front of other people. You don’t know what to do with your hand and you’re trying so hard not to overthink it. You take a deep breath and place it on Colson’s thigh, holding your breath for a reaction. The conversation continues on around you like normal and you release your breath.

“I know it feels weird but we’ll get used to it,” Colson whispers in your ear and you smile up at him.

“Deal,” you whisper back, planting a soft kiss on his jaw.

[suckitsurveys]

Who’s the first person you talk to via text in the morning? There isn’t one specific person I text as soon as I get up but some time throughout the morning I’ll usually send a message (or vise versa) to Mark, Lolly, and Margo.

Was that person your significant other? Mark is.

Does it take a lot for you to cry, or does it happen easily? It depends on my mental state.

What was the last reason you cried? I got a package last night and it was a Benny The Bull (the Chicago Bulls mascot) beanie that I have had my eye on for AGES and I had no idea who sent it and I finally figured out it was from my best friend. I told her about this hat like a year ago and she fucking found it and sent it to me out of the blue and I just got really emotional and grateful for her because I love her so fucking much and she’s the sweetest person in the world.

What’s hurting you right now? My back is bothering me a little.

Do you have someone who you can tell anything? Yeah.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? I don’t know.

Do you like vanilla? I do. I prefer it more as a flavor than a scent, though

Do people who judge bother you a lot? I'm more bothered by people who have to announce every judgement and opinion about everything all the fucking time. We all judge to an extent but people who are super vocal about it piss me the fuck off.

What about arrogance? That is also super annoying.

Do you tan easy? Eh.

Do you have two of the same pair of pants? I do. I have the same pair of jeans in two colors and the same pair of work out leggings in two colors.

Do you know anyone with Type 1 Diabetes? Yes.

Are you familiar with John Mayer? Yes.

Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? I have a good handful, sure.

What did you have for dinner last night? Tacos.

Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? Nope.

Where is the last beach you went to? Foster Ave Beach in Chicago.

Have you ever been rock climbing? Nope.

Do you own a bean bag chair? No.

Are you allergic to anything? What? Some medications.

Would you be willing to be examined for medical research? No while I’m alive, no.

Where is your phone? Next to me.

What is two feet from your right arm? My desk phone.

Do you own any vinyl records? I have one. It’s the Little Shop Of Horrors movie soundtrack that I found in a thrift store in Jackson, TN, when I was 15. It’s framed on my wall as part of a gallery wall with other movie posters and stills. Are you the one in a group to talk a lot or do you listen? I'd say that I listen more, but it depends on my mood and what the topic of conversation is.

Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Yes.

Do you enjoy staying at hotels? I do, but lately it’s been SO incredibly hard for me to sleep in places that aren’t my own bed.

Have you ever met someone famous. Who? Do tell! A handful of stand up comedians lol.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? I drove for about a mile without a seatbelt oops.

Is there a guy/girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yes.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mark.

What is one thing you would love to see happen today? I'd love for them to finally announce the host/mg line up for SNL’s premier.

Have you kissed any friends on your Facebook? Well, my husband, lol.

What’s irritating you right now? Work.

Who else is in the room with you? My coworker.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? I’m technically “in public” right now.

Can you recall the last time you really liked someone a lot? Yes, right now.

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Crown: Chapter 23

Location: Outside ES Dome Characters: Hiyori & Nagisa

Nagisa: …One of your subordinates should be in that car you prepared, correct?

…You’ll kidnap and dispose of me, the mastermind assumed to be behind everything, in secret.

…After that, you’ll transform into the “Support Idol”, “Lucifer”, and step in for me.

“Priest”: ………..

Nagisa: …You’re the mysterious “Support Idol”, “Lucifer”.

…”Lucifer” is a fallen angel and in Latin, it refers to the “morning star” – in Japanese, that would be “akehoshi”.

…Judging by that name, I assume you would have pretended to be Subaru-kun’s father, “That Akehoshi” – the biggest stain of the idol industry – on stage.

…You’ll pretend you’d been captured by Father or I all this time, like a tragic hero in an attempt to fully become “That Akehoshi”.

…You could even insist that you’ve changed because of the horrible treatment you’ve received. Perhaps you even planned to hold Subaru-kun tight, crying and letting tears fall from your eyes.

…With that, people will sympathise with you and it would have been the best performance befitting Subaru-kun's father.

…You would have immediately found the letter I had left behind, followed what was written within it and would have completely taken my place.

…With your emotional story, you would be accepted as a member of “Eden” with a resounding round of applause.

…There isn’t much time until the new year. The “SS” Finals will continue with the problems pushed to the backside.

…You’ll stand on stage in my place as the “General Leader”. And you’ll gain the highest possible recognition while being blessed by everyone around you.

…By doing that, “Eden” would – no, you would be applauded as the “best idol in the country”.

…You’d stand at the top of the idol industry.

…That was your plan, right, “Priest”?

“Priest”: …………

Nagisa: …I’m sure you would have come up with a few more schemes, but you chose the one where you kidnapped me.

…It was your first time framing someone for a crime, so you were worried if you could pull it off.

…But I, too, was part of “fine”. I was once a member of a group of outstanding people who attained victory after victory.

…That experience made me stronger. You should rejoice – there are things one can gain from tragedy.

“Priest”: ………!

Nagisa: ...Oh, you’ll run away. In that car.

…You’ll run and run, transforming into someone else.

…I’m sure you’ll commit even more crimes in the future.

…Then, even though I’m just a human and nowhere near God, I’ll pretend to be God to judge you and the sinful crimes you’ve committed.

…You have no place in heaven with that corrupted soul.

…Burn in the raging fires of hell for eternity.

“Priest”: ……! ……!?

Nagisa: …Hehe. That car is indeed something you prepared.

…But inside is one of “Gatekeeper’s” private guards.

“Priest”: ………!?

Nagisa: …I don’t blame you for not noticing. He and I teamed up behind the scenes.

…There was a message from “Gatekeeper” apart from the diary and documents in the temple I was holed up in.

…Ibara probably wouldn’t have believed it, but I did.

…I placed my faith in him and took his hand. We decided to work together to hunt you down.

…You transform into others and lurk in the darkness, so it was difficult to find you.

…But you were caught in our trap and will meet your end right here.

…Our interests overlapped on that point.

…You were a common “enemy” we both despised.

…So we’ll crush you. You’re our “enemy” – an evil in our eyes.

…You won’t say that’s cruel, right?

…You were the one who brought forth these negative emotions, such as hatred, within me and made me human.

…Humans will devote their body and soul to crushing the enemy they detest.

“Priest”: –––––––

Nagisa: …Farewell, “Priest”. Our “enemy”. The ghost of the past.

…At the very least, I’ll pray for your happiness in the next world.

…Shadows should return to being shadows. They should return to oblivion where they cannot be perceived.

…………

Hiyori: Nagisa-kuuun!

Nagisa: …Hiyori-kun.

Hiyori: What was that about? A car just sped out of here!

Nagisa: …Who knows.

…In any case, what are you doing here? Weren’t you looking after Touri-kun with Jun and Ibara?

…That’s what I asked you to do, right?

Hiyori: Yup! I’m happy to do whatever you ask me, but it couldn’t have been helped, right? After all, I’m the one who worries about you the most!

Jun-kun was acting strange so when I asked him about it, he told me that you look like you might do something reckless!

I couldn’t have sat there twiddling my thumbs if that’s true!

I decided I won’t ever leave you alone, after all!

Nagisa: …Oh. I borrowed a little something from Jun.

Hiyori: Why Jun-kun? You should rely on me more!

I want to do everything that I can for you! I even did something I don’t usually do and ran around looking for you everywhere, breaking a sweat!

Nagisa: …There was nothing you could have done, Hiyori-kun. This time, anyway.

…You’re someone who belongs in the light, after all.

Hiyori: What are you talking about? I don’t understand you! Be sure to explain it properly to me!

Nagisa: …I will. Later.

…Anyway, the “SS” Finals are still going on, so let’s return.

…And work as idols. Let’s sing and dance with everything we have to make everyone happy.

…In order to live as a person in this world.

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