#because this stupid apartment complex wont allow individual units to have a washer and dryer
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I hate having OCD.
Every time it gets to where I think I am managing and can at least pretend to be normal, something comes up and nope. Not normal.
#winter speaks#ocd#actually ocd#everything (from my pov) is either clean or not clean#and anything that causes issues with those makes me hella anxious#for example is i take a book outside#its now unclean and i can't use/read it while im in the clean space#until a very long amount of time as passed (that's if i can *ever* convince myself its clean again)#and its VERY FRUSTRATING#i want to use an actual tarot/tarokka deck for malrius (my latest dnd oc)#but if i take the tarot deck outside its forever unclean#and i cant use it when im clean or on clean surfaces without experiencing anxiety#which is even more problematic because i dont have a desk rn#so my bed is where i do tarot things#and if my bed clothes get dirty i have to take them to a laundromat#because this stupid apartment complex wont allow individual units to have a washer and dryer#ughhhhhhhhhhh
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