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melminli · 1 day ago

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ex, for a reason

summery - your boyfriend was the sweetest guy in the whole world, but maybe that was the problem.

pairing: kang dae-ho x fem. reader

word count: 1.4k

contains: modern au, angst w/ comfort, fluff

the request.

He really shouldn't worry about it as much as he did right now because the whole thing was just totally stupid, and all the stuff that had been going through his head was irrational. Dae-ho knew that and yet, he just couldn't stop himself from imagining multiple crazy scenarios in which you were breaking up with him - he didn't want any of this, why would he? The only heart that got broken in the process was his and it was all because of nothing.

Well, maybe there was this one thing, and that was that Dae-ho had been feeling a bit - well let’s just say - insecure about your relationship. He was very much aware of the fact that he had zero resemblance to the guys you usually date because he wasn't, well - he wasn't an asshole. You and even most of you’re friends make fun of it now that you two are together and it actually turned into some kind of inside joke that you broke the curse with him. Though, Dae-ho didn’t really feel like laughing about it right now.

This whole thing is so stupid, he thought to himself as he absently watched some show on the TV before he suddenly heard you laughing next to him. He just looked at you shortly and knew that it was probably because of something funny you saw on your cell phone. But, he just couldn’t restrain himself and had to remember the conversation you had a few days ago. He sighed again with a heavy heart at the memory because apparently, your last ex - some guy named Thanos? - had messaged you out of the blue and asked you what you were up to.

"Hey, look who just sent me a text. I thought I had blocked him everywhere?" you exclaimed, laughing as you shoved your cell phone in his face. Dae-ho just looked a bit confused at the message after he read it because he didn’t really get what you were talking about. He read it one more time, though, he was still kind of lost because it honestly just looked like a normal message, how was he supposed to figure out what was going on?

You then decided to reveal the whole thing since your boyfriend just continued to send you confused glances. "It's my ex. You know, I told you about him. The one I dated before we met."

Yeah, he could remember bits and pieces of that. "So, what does he want?" he asked, still not quite sure what was going on.

You sighed at his innocence. "He obviously wants to get back together.“

"Does he?" Dae-ho asked and was seriously surprised. He pointed at your phone while he talked. "But he just asked if you still had his old sweater, that could mean anything."

You waved as you laughed. "Oh, trust me. I know what that means.“ you assured him and thought back to the old days, which was something you didn’t like to do. „We were pretty much on and off in our whole relationship because I always tried to break things off after fighting - but then always take him back afterward. So, it just started to turn into a really bad cycle at some point, I guess.“ you tried to explain. „Anyway, he used to text me about some meaningless thing as soon as he wanted to get back together and this is one of those texts since he's also not the kind of person to send you a message if he doesn't want anything from you. I’m just surprised that he would try this again because I broke things up with him for real the last time, trust me.“

Oh. It felt like Dae-ho should be laughing at your ex's desperate attempt to get back together with you now, but he felt more like ugly crying, to be honest. „Yeah, that is pretty funny.“ he just decided to say with a forced smile on his face.

Since then, the whole situation just wouldn't let him go. No matter how hard he tried to. The way you told it, made it seem like you two got back together a lot and who was to say that maybe a part of you wouldn't want to try again - purely because of muscle memory? He wasn't the type to get irrationally angry over something like that, but he'd be lying if he said that all these negative thoughts didn't make him incredibly depressed the past few days.

"Hey, I know I've asked you this a few times now, but are you sure everything's okay?" you finally asked him when you noticed how he wasn't really paying attention to what was going on in his show. It was unusual for him to be so quiet when usually some comment about what was happening would leave him every minute.

He just nodded under his breath. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he said, feeling guilty again for being the way he was right now.

You moved a little closer to him and hugged him lightly from the side. "You're lying and I'm tired of waiting for you to come to me on your own because, as you know, I'm not the most patient person on earth."

He avoided your gaze guiltily. "It's stupid."

"It's clearly not, because you've been acting like a depressed housewife for days."

He laughed lightly along with you at that little joke of yours. "And how is that supposed to look like?"

You smiled. "You know, you're like you always are - you make dinner, you bring me my favorite tea, but you sigh very loudly every now and then plus you're also a bit distant." you continued to broach the subject in a slightly joking manner to get rid of the heavy air around you two.

Of course, you would be aware of his bad mood. "Well, I just noticed that I'm not like the other guys you've dated before," he whispered casually while playing with the fabric of his shirt. Even though, you both knew that it seemed to be a topic that was bothering him.

You nodded. "So?" you just asked him, thinking something other would follow since you couldn’t see what the problem was. Though, there didn't seem to be anything more coming. "That's all? You’re upset because you're not like my shitty boyfriends in the past?" you repeated a bit in disbelief.

Dae-ho looked to the side, embarrassed. "I told you it was stupid..." he whispered. "I just don’t want you to think that I’m boring or something…"

You just took him in your arms and tried to suppress your laughter so as not to add salt to the wound. "I didn't mean it like that, but I'm telling you this now because you obviously to need to hear it," you said as you placed a kiss on his head. "You're not boring. You’re the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world and I would never trade you for any of my past relationships. I love you and I've never even said those words to any of my exes, did you know that?" you asked him, watching as he slowly looked up to you. "…really?" he asked you shyly, even though you had been together for a while now.

You smiled. "Really," you assured him and were glad to see your boyfriend in his normal happy state again. However, you then remembered the conversation you had a few days ago. "Was this whole thing about Thanos? You don't have to worry about him. I hate that guy, he like probably cheated on me more times than he admitted." you laughed and stopped when something else came to mind. "Besides, I think he also stole some money from me..."

Dae-ho looked at you worriedly as he held you even tighter. "Oh my god, are you serious? You never told me that, is that why you broke up with him?"

You looked away a little embarrassed yourself this time and didn't dare to confess to him that it had unfortunately taken a lot more than that for it to end between the two of you. Those weren't your proudest moments in your life. "Yeah, sure..."

But who cared about all that, right? You were the happiest you could ever be with Dae-ho and that was all that mattered. Maybe you should remind him more of that because he really didn't deserve to feel inferior to someone like that damn Thanos.

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pixiekiwi · 1 day ago

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love your works! How about lokixreader (friends to lover). Where the reader decides to try to get over loki by going on a date because she thing loki doesn’t like her like that. So how loki finds out about her going out on a date and I’ll leave the rest up to you!

You Mischievous Little Thing | Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Reader

HELLOO!!! Thank you so much for this ask :3 I may have not written exactly what you were imagining, however I had a lottt of fun adding to this prompt. I also... wrote quite a bit more than I was expecting, the words just kept coming!! I hope you enjoy!! :D Reminder, asks are still open <3

Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist

Description: Loki finds you on a date, with another man, wearing his colors.

Warnings: Slight NSFW content, no set timeline, jealous Loki ;), feminine reader, no use of (Y/N), slight knife play.

Word count: 3.8k

mea columba: my dove

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

All Mother Frigga was not only known for being one of the smartest and beautiful women of Asgard, but also for the grand soirée’s hosted almost every other week. Typically they were hosted for events, however Frigga also loved to host gatherings, this being one of those times.

Usually you loved the grand events, however, this time you dreaded going. You had actually managed to get a date for this ball. It wasn’t an accident, you were trying your best to move on. To get your mind away from your childhood best friend. The Young Prince, Loki of Asgard.

You had recently come to the realization you had feelings for the man. You noticed your heartbeat would speed up at the littlest of glances, the smallest of smiles, the sweetest of looks.

How you had come to this conclusion was finding your cheeks the brightest of red in the mirror while allowing your mind to fall to the idea of the Prince. You cursed yourself that day, and cursed the God of Mischief for fooling you into these feelings.

You couldn’t help it however, his bashful smiles, his bright blue eyes that seemed to just do things to you - you couldn’t get him out of your mind.

And you knew, he did not feel the same way. I mean, he was Loki of Asgard, and you were you, of… Well, nothing really.

You had met him in the gardens when you were young. Your father was a nobleman on the war council and you had been visiting the castle for a few weeks when you had bumped into the boy. Immediately the two of you clicked, it was easy. You had the same curiosity for the world, the same mischievous and playful spirit, the same yearning to know more, to be more.

And now, centuries later, you lived in the castle. You had moved to the castle at Loki’s request, to help him with his studies to become the Crown Prince for when his brother finally was crowned. Now, you had a rightful seat at the war council - just as your father had.

It had been years of the two of you being side by side, you had become inseparable. Everyone knew it, everyone saw it.

You had both dated others, but nothing ever stuck for either of you. You didn’t mind, until you realized you had feelings for the Young Prince.

So now there you were, down in the Ball Room as hundreds of other Asgardians danced around you all the while awkwardly standing next to your date. Ironically, the only dress you had at the moment to wear was a dark green gown, laced with gold ribbon.

The man you stood beside wasn’t terrible, he was sweet, but just… Boring. It was nothing against him, he was handsome, but he didn’t get your jokes, your sarcasm, or even your compliments. It seemed he truly didn’t have a brain.

You smiled at him as he spoke about battle, in a dramatic fashion - explaining something about decapitating an enemy. You had stopped listening minutes ago, but yet you sipped your drink politely, letting your eyes wander slightly, looking for… Well you know who you were looking for. To your dismay, you had yet to see the blue eyed man.

So you moved your eyes back over to your date, whose name, you actually could not remember for the life of you. He had seemed to now be distracted by one of his friends who had come to speak to him. Seeing as they were now enthralled in a conversation, you took this as the best moment to step away.

You moved quickly, giving a quick muttered excuse to leave and moving carefully to the large banquet table. The foods and deserts upon the table made your mouth water. You reached for a rosatum, thankful for the sweetness that dissolved upon your tongue.

You let your eyes wander again, you watched as couples danced happily upon the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s. Your heart panged in an odd manner, was that jealousy? Yearning?

You didn’t know, and preferably, you didn’t want to.

As you were finishing one off of the many drinks you had tonight, you felt a pair of eyes studying you from afar. Your own eyes snapped to them immediately.

You could sense him from what felt like miles away. You were not one for magic, but his magic you could feel. You didn’t know why, you assumed it had something to do with the time you had spent together. However you didn’t mind, he wasn’t able to sneak up on you anymore - he had done it enough.

As your eyes found his, a velvety feeling filled your lungs. A small smile crept up upon your face as you gave him a small curtsey, a running inside joke between you two.

You could see a smile creep up his expression as he bowed his head to you.

You could almost see his eyes graze your figure, but he was too far away to truly tell. Standing the upon golden steps across the room his aura bled confidence, something you could tell from hundreds of feet away. He was wearing a beautiful dark green and gold suit plated with golden armor, a show of his status.

You wanted to wave him over, and you almost did - until your date grabbed your shoulder.

“You disappeared back there,” he smiled politely, pulling your attention, albeit begrudgingly, away from the Young Prince across the hall.

You didn’t see how his face fell.

“I apologize,” you smiled half-heartedly.

“I was just getting to the best part,” He laughed, his face red and flushed from alcohol, “I hadn't told you about the beheading!”

He did, a thousand times already.

You hoped your true emotions were not showing upon your face, as that would be quite rude. But truly, you could not stand to be around this man anymore. You had already listened to enough battle re-telling while on the council. You wanted to come up with some excuse to leave, maybe that you had fallen ill - but before you could even get another word out, the hairs on the back of your neck stood.

“Would you care to dance My Lady?”

You spun to the side, unaware of your date’s narrowing eyes upon the man now in front of you both.

“Loki.” you had almost gasped out in relief, he was finally here to rescue you from this horrid date.

His sharp features seemed to soften as they took you in, admiring the gown you had put yourself in. Loki’s eyes met yours again and his feathery gaze fell into a stoic wall you could not not break through. He smiled politely at your date before holding out his arm for you to grab.

You took it willingly, wrapping your arm with his.

You didn’t even glance back to your date as Loki took you through the crowd, finding a perfect spot for the two of you to dance. You felt yourself become relaxed at the mere presence of him. His familiar oaky and leathery cologne invaded your senses, sending your heart into a frenzy of beats. His hold upon your arm was sturdy and powerful, almost as if proving something. You didn’t question it, happy you now had space between you and the man you were just with.

“A date?” The black haired man finally spoke out. His voice was solid, there was a strong lack of emotions behind his question, throwing you off.

You nodded.

“Y’know, Adrián is one of the stupidest Asgardians I’ve ever met.” He quipped. His tone was void of the typical teasing you were used to, but you smiled and laughed anyway, moving your body with his as you turned to dance with him.

“I realize that now, I actually didn’t even remember his name. I’m not sure he does either, he’s had enough mead for a lifetime.” You smiled, a genuine smile as you gazed up to Loki. Truly taking in his striking features. You had danced together time and time again before, however you always jumped at the chance to admire him. His hair was slicked back and styled, and his blue eyes almost looked green from the reflection of your clothing. “I think I could only handle the same story twice, and I have heard it enough already for a millenia.”

A small smile crept up to Loki’s face at your comment, but yet his stoic facade still stood between you and him. He spun you around once, stepping into place with the others dancing around you.

There was an odd silence between you two at this moment, it made you uneasy. Quiet was normal between you two - time spent together reading by the fire, studying in the archives, or even just spending time going on walks in and around the palace - but this quiet, it was different.

You kept your eyes on him as he failed to meet yours, “Is there something wrong?” You finally asked, your voice filled with genuine concern. You wanted to reach and brush the stray hair from his cheek back behind his ear, but you refrained.

Loki shook his head, licking his lips as he danced your body with his own. His eyes finally falling upon yours as he spoke, “It’s insulting for you to parade yourself out here in my colors, with your arm around another man.”

His words held a certain… frustration, that you could not decipher.

Your lips parted in surprise at his words, your eyes staying upon his as your eyebrows raised, “What?” A small nervous laugh escaping you.

His own eyebrow perked up, spinning you around with him as he scanned the crowd of people beside the group dancing, “Did you do it on purpose?” The irritation in his voice was certain as his eyes met yours again.

You had seen Loki frustrated before, angry even. However this was different - it was an emotion you had not seen upon the man. Your mouth went dry at the accusation, you were confused as to what he was implying - had you understood, you’d probably faint.

“I’m sorry?” You asked again, your voice still holding the nervous laugh from before. Avoiding his gaze you spoke again, “I do not understand what you are insinuating.”

While you failed to meet his gaze, you didn’t fail to notice the pink that seemed to climb up upon his neck. His own eyes flickering away from you to the crowd that surrounded you, he seemed… Nervous.

Suddenly, as if seeing something in the crowd - his eyes glowed with frustration once more before snapping to you again. He spun you around again, your gown glittering under the soft light from the chandeliers. Before pulling you close to his body, leading you two into a gentle waltz. The dancing had now become the background of your focus, giving Loki the authority to lead you was easy.

“Look at you, mea columba. You are adorned in gold and green.” Loki’s eyes scanned you up and down, a dangerous emotion flickering through his blue eyes. “You’re practically mine in those colors.”

Your eyes snapped to his blue ones in surprise. You opened your mouth to respond, but you had nothing on your mind to respond with, you were still mulling over his words in your mind.

Practically his.

You gulped as you closed your mouth, your eyes flitting from his eyes down to his lips, where a small smirk had begun to form upon them. Of course, he was playing a game with you, it seemed he always was. As your eyes met his again, you found the wall that was once there was now broken. You could see his frustration now melt into something different, confidence.

You hadn’t noticed Loki had led you both near one of the many exits of the ballroom. You now had stopped dancing, his arm still leading you two wherever he pleased. You looked around finally, seeing you had stepped past the beautiful archway leading you both down a quiet hall. You didn’t mind, the music was becoming overwhelming.

“It was the only gown that was decent enough for the ball.” The words tumbled from your lips haphazardly, it was the first response you could manage. You cursed yourself internally for drinking as much as you had. Deep down you knew that wasn’t the key to your flustered state, however it was easier to blame.

Loki’s eyebrow perked again at the excuse, leading you to an open isolated balcony looking upon the beautiful Gardens lit under the moonlight below. He turned to you, his arm unlacing with yours and taking a few steps away - keeping his eyes trained to your figure he spoke, “I thought you wore those colors for me.”

You froze, the soft chill of the wind sending shivers up your spine, or was that from him? You couldn’t tell. Swallowing thickly you moved to the edge of the balcony, looking down upon the gardens. Your nerves were on high alert, feeling his gaze upon you as you attempted to ignore him.

You couldn’t, his presence overwhelmed you in a way you couldn’t properly comprehend.

Wearing colors for him? Why would he care? Has he ever cared before?

You couldn’t recall a time where he had.

The silence enveloped the two of you, the only sound being the laughter from the ball room and the soft melody of music that echoed down the hall. Loki’s eyes fixated on you, and your own refusing to meet his. It was a silent battle of push and pull - a simple game which you knew you were losing.

You didn’t notice him pulling nervously at his fingers behind his back.

Knowing you couldn’t just let yourself lose, you pushed back. You felt confidence consume you, as you had played this game with him many times before. Straightening your posture you turned to him, your eyes finding his already upon your form.

They hadn’t left.

And finally - you spoke, bringing the silence to an end.

“I hadn’t realized you laid claim upon a color.”

As the jest fell from your lips, excitement flashed through the prince’s blue eyes. His hands falling to his sides as he moved closer. His body was now mere inches away from yours, you could feel the unusual cold chill from his body that you had grown to find comfort within. His hand reached to lift your chin, his eyes meeting yours.

It seemed as if lightning struck as they connected, your body tensed as the confidence you had just felt faltered for a moment.

A knowing smirk slowly made its way upon Loki’s face. “And anyone that wears it.”

Your breath hitched at the implication, your eyes flicking down his figure before meeting his eyes once again. You gazed at him through your eyelashes, your teeth finding your bottom lip as you returned his playful, smirk.

“Well,” You paused, taking your time to mull over your words as a certain heat rose in your lower half, “If I must, I may just have to - take it off?” You glanced away briefly, “If that pleases you,” you met his blue eyes again, “Your Highness.”

You lowered yourself into a curtsey, your head now below his abdomen. Before you could sink any lower, his cold hand grabbed your upper arm - pulling you back up to him. He was leaning over now, your faces just threads apart.

You could feel Loki’s breath upon your lips as he spoke, “Oh you mischievous little thing,” his tone low and rasping.

Lifting you and setting you upon the bench like railing of the balcony, one hand finding your lower back, his grasp the only thing between you and the gardens below sending a wave of adrenaline through you. His other hand - crawling up your leg under the flurry of skirts you adorned, your own hands finding his neck. He whispered finally, leaning over so that his lips now at your “You know I would like to do that myself.”

Stunned by his sudden actions, his declaration, and the closeness of the two of you - it had seemed as if you had suddenly lost the ability to speak. Your lips parted in surprise, his strong grasp steadying you just enough.

Your nervous gaze fell upon him - his attention fixated upon you. Your lungs shook as you took in a shuddering beeath, searching for the words to say, to continue this game.

But you couldn’t find those words, in fact, he didn’t even give you the chance to - as his lips were now on yours.

Your heart skipped eight beats at once and a small gasp escaped you. His kiss was hesitant at first, but when your eyes fluttered closed, and your hands found his hair, pulling him closer - as if giving him permission - he didn’t restrain himself any longer.

Loki’s hand on your lower back was now moving up to your shoulder blades, moving your body flush to his. The hand that resided within your skirts gripped your thigh tightly - as if he could sink claws into your warm flesh.

As he leaned closer, you broke away - your nervousness from being mere inches to the edge causing your momentous pause. Breathless and shamelessly warm, your lips parted, ready to warn him of your anxieties. His hungry eyes met yours and he spoke for you.

“You think I'd be so foolish as to let you fall?” He clicked his tongue teasingly as he spoke, “The only foolish thing I’ve done is let you be seen in this dress while not by my side.”

A wild glimmer flickered through his icy blue gaze, desperation clawed through them as they trailed down to your gown. As they flicked back up, the mischievous smirk you were used to took hold of his expression. You could see the gears turning in his mind - you knew his next actions would be bad news.

You felt yourself flush with amorous excitement.

Loki’s hand upon your back lowered once more - all the while still holding you sturdy - and his other hand loosened from your thigh. “We wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong message now,” his eyebrow perked as he cocked his head to the side slightly, his tone low and commanding, but yet far from his usual Prince-like-regality, “Would we?”

You felt a cold sharp object graze where Loki’s hand once was. Your breath hitched as you heard the sharp ripping of fabrics.

Your eyes snapped down, your skirts now cut away, revealing your bare legs and a dagger gripped between Loki’s palm. As he conjured the dagger away in a fluff of green particles, feathery gasp escaped your lips at the sudden coolness of the breeze against your skin. His hand found your thigh once more - however much higher than he had before.

“Much better now,”, he pulled you against him and wrapped your legs around his lower half. His dangerous gaze never seemed to falter.

“Don’t you agree?”

You wanted to disagree, in fact you wanted to yell at him for cutting up such a beautiful gown. But hungry excitement flooded your veins.

“Loki…” You whispered out a warning. You wanted to say more, tell him that this game had gone too far - but the yearning for more clawed through your chest and down through your lower half. Something else told you this wasn’t a game anymore. Your tongue flitted over your lips - Loki’s eyes falling to them - watching as you bit back the words you truly wanted to say.

“Oh mea columba,” He practically groaned out - his voice coated with desperation, “As much as I love seeing you in gold and green, I think I’d much prefer you with nothing on.” As he spoke, his hand on your upper thigh crawled farther up - reaching the hem of your panties.

A soft whimper escaped your lips as his cold fingers played with the hem “If that pleases you, My Prince.”

As the words left you, his gaze shot to yours. His eyes glowed with hunger, so much so that even you could see that he was starving.

“What would please me, is the idea of you never wearing another man's arm -” He paused, his fingers slipping under the hem, his hand grasping the side of your hips. He lowered, his lips finding your jaw - you stretching your neck to give him access. The kisses started slowly, giving you time to move your hands around to his neck and lowering them further down his chest.

“However,” he began again - his lips now lowering down to your neck “You can wear my colors-” He stopped again, his teeth now grazing your collarbone, unbeknownst to you his piercing gaze stared up at you, “As long as I get to claim you as mine.”

You shuddered at his words, realizing this was not a game anymore. This was desire. Your hands found the back of his head once more, his once styled and slicked back hair was now a mess - his natural curls now showing through.

The goosebumps that raised on your flesh was telling enough for Loki, he smirked against your skin. Straightening himself into a stand, all the while kissing you feverishly up your neck and collarbone.

Tightening his grip upon your hip - hovering his lips just breaths away from yours he spoke, “Should we take this to my bed chambers then,” he paused, his sensual gaze now upon yours, “My lady?”

You gazed up at him through your lashes - your body warm with desperation, with the want - no - the need, for more.

“Please-” the plea was barely a word, but instead a hushed moan that you couldn’t control.

At the sound Loki’s eyes flashed - both hands now at your hips, lifting you from the railing. His arms wrapped around you, flushing you against him. You barely had time to register the green particles that surrounded you both, before your head was upon a pillow and soft silk sheets beneath you. Loki’s arm released you gently as he leaned back, now straddling you.

He whipped his hair back, brushing it away from his face as he took a steadying breath, his eyes finding yours again. You noticed he no longer wore gold armour, but just his shite undershirt and black pants that he wore underneath.

Your heart seemed to stutter as you watched him, his biceps flexing as he moved to unbutton half of his shirt. His sensual gaze looking you up and down, sending shivers through your spine, and velvet through you.

“Now,” He spoke finally, pulling your hands that laid at your sides up, above your head onto the headboard. His face now inches from yours once more, “Let’s get this torn gown off of you.”

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atcharachara · 2 days ago

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Just a sketch again to try out some new (inbuilt) brushes. Pencil brushes have lovely textures. I was dreading coloring a Kazilik because I didn’t think the colors would look good together, but it seems like my fears were unfounded! The spines however…

I went by with what I remembered, so it might not be accurate. Did it have nose horns? I don’t know, actually. I didn’t even check my notes or the book. The next dragon page will be Turkish dragons because of this. Of which, like, only two is described. The Kazilik (lots of material for these guys) and those cow guard dragons near the capital (one scene and as usual, just barely). We do have egg descriptions for the Akhal-Teke and Alaman, and eggs at least seem to correspond to dragon colorations… usually. So… Fun.

#dragons #temeraire #kazilik #sketches

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kingofthering · 1 day ago

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november-december 2024

(With a little delay because of you-know-what but here we go. Big thank you to all the authors who used their time in 2024 to produce things that made me have a good time, you're the best.)

ao3

rosquez

you look like someone I remember by @vanillow

I'm of the opinion that you can rarely go wrong with a time travel fic (and the options are endless) and of course Maddie didn't disappoint with that one. For a fic that's like, 50% Explicit, it sure still managed to give me feelings.

postscript by @kingofthecotas

Sometimes all you need is something soft and sweet and very domestic.

Lex Ferenda by @tartquez

I know I technically already recced the Bicameral series last time but we got a bunch of beautiful additions since then, so. Go binge it all is my advice.

learning to fly by @moonshynecybin

Go tell Callie that this is great and that we all need the rest 🫶 One good argument to read this? The enigma that Valentino is but in a good way, not a mean way (for once). And never fucked pre divorce Rosquez insane concept, come on.

#FF0000 by @le-chevalier-au-lion

First of all, the title of this fic is brilliant. Second of all, jealous Valentino in this context is a thing of beauty. Valentino's sensations (and how his feelings translate in his body) were so beautifully described and the vibe in this made me feel like I was with them at the club, ready to cut the tension emanating from Valentino's body with scissors.

the flight of a one-winger dove by @vanillow

Soulmates AU. Dialogue that just hit like that. Another Maddie masterpiece, if you will.

the laughter, the plunge by @yekoc

Fun fact : my reblog of the tumblr post of this fic was the last post I was able to reblog before my account had to take a forced holiday. But what matters here is how this fic made me feel : proud of Marc, hot, with a squeezed heart at the end (in a good way).

dovquez

here and now, undaunted by @le-chevalier-au-lion

It's Dovquez and it's soft and domestic and the banter works so well and is very them. 10/10.

nearly, nearly, nearly by @le-chevalier-au-lion

!!! This had me deceased. I was right there with them all along and the tension is so delicious.

others

the greatest thing we've lost (santi/marc) by @le-chevalier-au-lion

You know when you have to pause every 2 sentences to process everything being written because it's a lot but in a good way? Yeah.

Coterie (casey/dovi) by @tartquez

That moment when you fall in love with a side pairing even more than the main pairing of a universe (me with Casey & Dovi in Bicameral). It's just, they work so well together and I adore being in Casey's head in this and his internal monologue is interesting and the dialogues between Casey & Dovi always make me wanna scream. And they're obviously hot together but that's a detail at this point.

somewhat so outlandish (pecco/enea) by @vanillow

Swear to god the writers of this fandom turn me into a real empath because you can't imagine how much I was feeling for Pecco by the end of this. The dialogue is, as usual, chef's kiss.

these are the games of weekend (santi/vale) by @lestelledreams

Underexploited pairing as evidenced by Elle. Young Vale is always a delight and this works beautifully.

cannot dream of returning to dust (marcnaia) by @le-chevalier-au-lion

My tags on the tumblr post said "#‘oh’ in italics#like!!!!#‘They’re both very good at miserable. In opposite directions.´ !!!!#oh so much more" so, I will leave you with that.

get quiet (casey/vale) by @vanillow

I feel like I could enjoy any fic involving Casey right now but also, this was a very needed and mandatory fic after Casey's ranch visit. Their dialogue in this, the scenes on the porch, the way Valentino is written, the progression of their physical proximity, yes baby.

tumblr

rosquez

time travel au by @tartquez

black widow marc + agent vale by @tartquez

lies by @astronicht

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au thoughts by @moonshynecybin

gladiator marc by @vanillow

on vale re: marc's diplopia by @yekoc

dovquez

I wonder what's it's like to be so beautiful by @lastlatebraker

forehead kiss by @lestelledreams

model marc / designer dovi by @lastlatebraker

#motogp #rpf #favereads #the shortest list I've ever made #but I wanted to finish 2024 with this post instead of doing like nov-jan #like I've mentioned I haven't been reading much #we have had more diversity authors wise but I'll never deny I have favorite (my bad)

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bigassmoth · 17 hours ago

Text

continuation of this here

It's been a week and a half and Leo is already complaining again.

Sho half-listened to Leo as he polished Bonnie in the garage. Just five minutes ago, although it felt much longer, Leo had flopped onto the couch and launched into a rant about his comment feed.

"It's been foreeevvveerrr and they are STILL calling that NPC a gold digger- as if they have the brains to dig! Our ~Honorable Senpai~ doesn't even know about designer labels- one time they complimented my jacket only because-" Leo changed his voice to mock the honor student, "-it looks very nice with your hair."

Sho remembers that incident, Leo met your casual compliment with aggression when he assumed that you recognized the brand and was vying for scraps. Your response was confused and then to sheepishly admit you hadn't realized it was a luxury brand and just liked the colors. Leo spent a good 10 seconds being too flabbergasted to speak and then later called Romeo to gossip about how much of a country bumpkin you are.

"Uh huh." Sho gave a disengaged comment while Leo paused in his ranting.

"Ugh, that gorilla is saying they are coming back from doing recon. I can't believe I keep getting left here- especially when senpai knows how bad Mido fumbles every interview."

"Didn't they leave 3 hours ago? I bet Sasquatch got them lost" Sho joins in on the discussion with passion this time, sharing a smirk with Leo as they imagine the likely scenario that Mido confidently leads you to dead-end after dead-end.

Leo sends off a text and a few seconds later Sho's phone vibrates in his pocket. He puts down his shop cloth to pull it out and after reading the text he frowns at Leo.

"You asked them to stop at Starbucks and didn't tell me? What if I wanted something you asshole?"

"Ehh that's not my fault, I figured if your precious bff really cared about you that much then they would reach out. And lo and behold..." Leo looked at Sho with a faint glimmer of envy in his eyes before directing his attention back to his phone. He scoffs. "Seriously, what's the point of posting that NPC is the 150 thousand followers I gain are all annoying as fuck?

"Your account really grew that much just from pretending you have a toxic relationship?"

"Duh. Everyone loves watching someone elses relationship go up in flames."

"You have issues, dude." Sho sighs and types you a reply with his order.

"We're back." Alan announced himself as usual, walking past the two ghouls while carrying a cardboard box presumably full of files for them to comb through for the next day. You were a quick step behind him, holding a drink tray and several paper bags.

"Hey." Sho greeted you while Leo only grunted in acknowledgement. You handed Sho his drink and bag- which he opened to reveal a chocolate muffin he promptly split with Bonnie. You set the remaining treats onto a nearby toolbox and turned around.

"Could you unzip this real quick?" You tilt your head forward so Sho can access the covert zipper at the top of your neck. With a face full of muffin, Sho hums and deftly yanks down the tab so you can free yourself of the cop costume.

Leo watches the casual exchange with crossed arms.

"Can you hurry up and give me my stuff already?" His voice is flat with irritation. You step out of the second-skin as it dissipates and hand Leo his drink and a paper bag.

"Mido senpai." You call out simply and, as Leo would make fun of him for later, Alan appeared like a dog hearing his name.

"Hm?"

"Turn around, please." He follows your instructions without question and you quickly reach up and unzip him as well. Job complete, you grab your drink and treat and sit on the couch near the center.

"Thanks." Once upon a time Leo and Sho would have assumed that Alan was just adept at hiding his embarrassment but time has proven that such deference to you made no blemish on his ego.

Alan sat down next to you, the sink of the couch almost pushing you into his lap as you instinctively scooch further into the center.

"Oi, idiot." Leo claims your attention as soon as he is able, "This isn't starbucks. And this isn't a whipped rose latte either." He thrust the cup into your face, making you recoil into Alan.

"Starbucks tastes awful." You offer a half-explanation as Leo lowers the cup and instead presses his face into yours.

"How the fuck am I supposed to post this boring shit on instagram, huh?" He was razing you, Alan stopped his delicate sips on his black iced coffee to say something but you beat him to the punch.

"Then don't post it." You sigh and put a hand on Leo's head, pushing him away from you. Without him practically breathing down your neck, you are able to unstick yourself from Alan and get properly comfortable on the couch.

"You don't really get this whole influencer thing, do you?" Leo grumbles and slumps into the arm of the couch, stretching his legs onto your lap. You adjust easily, lifting your paper beg to rest it on his knees so your precious baked good didn't get squished.

"They didn't have any rose latte's, so I go you a chai. I figured you would like it beca-"

"Chai? Chai tea? Isn't that just black tea and milk?" Leo kicks his heel on Alan's leg.

"Actually 'chai' means tea." Sho chimed in 'helpfully', bemused by the display in front of him. Leo was a professional at riling people up, capable of getting the most extreme reactions with just a few words. But Alan was an immovable rock, so caught up in his own head and goals that everything in his periphery seemed worthless to pay attention to. You didn't have Alan's temperament but have gained an elusiveness that made you float above Leo's tactics. It was interesting for Sho, watching Leo vie for your attention and Alan's acknowledgment.

"I don't give a fuck." Leo looked at Sho as if he betrayed him.

"I think you will like it." You begin again, "I asked them to make it extra spicy." Leo had seen the 'xtra spic' written in sharpie on the cup.

"Ugh, whatever. This cookie better be good."

"It's peanut butter." Alan interjected now, without looking up from the file in his hand.

"I- What!?" Leo gaped at you as you sipped your drink. You shrugged.

"I was in charge of drinks, Mido senpai picked up the snacks."

"You need the protein."

At Alan's (unwanted) comment Sho erupted in laughter. Leo scoffed and fully laid back on the arm rest.

"This is so stupid." He muttered and without thinking, took a deep drink from his cup. The mixture warmed his bones, pleasantly sweet and spicy.

The conservation turned to details about the case as you and Alan relayed what you had learned on your excursion. Leo listened while tapping blankly on his phone notifications, not even taking in the information on the screen while he thought about how one would go about catching an anomaly. It was reflexive, that he took a selfie as he sipped his drink and posted it with the generic hashtags: #latte#girlfriend#bestgfever#couplegoals.

Everyone returned to their rooms after making a plan for tomorrow and sending you off to your decrepit dorm. It was only in the bath that Leo realized what he had posted would become an issue- because someone had made a video about it.

"-As we all know, Leo only likes light floral drinks. Which we love about him- but apparently his girlfriend bought him this drink which is an EXTRA SPICY CHAI. She doesn't even know his taste preferences-"

The comments were predictable: This is the same one boring girlfriend that is using him for money.

Leo rolled his eyes so hard he swore they got stuck in the back of his head for a second and shut his phone off before throwing it onto his pile of clothes on the floor.

"Seriously, that NPC brings in way more trouble then they are worth."

#tokyo debunker #leo kurosagi #alan mido #sho haizono

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miange1 · 7 hours ago

Note

YAY

okay so i wanna request something where donnie is talking about his crush on reader(male) to his therapist and it's sorta like the situation where he almost jerks off in her office yk?

but he starts to spill too much saying that he's basically a really gross and stalker pervert towards you😪

maybe add something a little cute at the end after all of that :3

DONNIE DARKO

male reader, perverted tendencies, donnie starts seeing reader in hallucinations, wet dreams, stalking, taking underwear and 'using' it, reader has a crush on donnie but doesn't know what he does, a full fic instead of head cannons for once, slight homophobia even though donnies friends were talking about a gay smurf

"Donnie.." his kisses trailed along your soft skin, grabbing hold of your waist harshly to keep you still and close to him. He loved moments like these with you, moments where he could have you all to himself and use you as you pleased because you would never say no to him, right?

You loved him, and he loved you. "Hm." He hummed, glancing up at you a bit as his kisses stopped at you hip, and his hands moving towards the bottom of your pants.

"Donnie no," He was confused, why were you saying no? You never say no, what was wrong now? "What, why? You're hard for me, why are you.." you shook your head and shushed him. "It's time for school."

Of course it was a fucking dream, he could even remember himself sighing and realizing in his head before he had woke up.

He was in no mood to deal with anyone today, more than usual. The boy was so close to punching his friends in the throat if they made fun of that girl one more time. He just wanted to get on the bus and be able to see you for the few seconds he could, and then for the hours he could stare at you through eyes you couldn't see.

"Guys, just leave her alone. Bus is about to come anyway." Even as he spoke he was only thinking of you, the cigarette burning to the bus right before the bus had pulled over to the curb, and he'd let the stick fall onto the concrete.

Neither of you had classes together, you'd just see each other in the hallways and it was a miracle you had looked over and waved to him. First thing that went through his mind was that you were the most beautiful boy he had ever seen.

First thing that went through his friends minds was that you were a faggot. "He's into you man." Donnie scoffed, head shaking in disbelief, "All he did was wave at me, I mean we barely even know each other." Which was only partially true, he knew almost everything about you. Knew of your interests, knew what you liked to watch and read, knew what kinda porn you liked, knew what brand your boxers were, and could probably guess which you were wearing right now.

Even last night he had watched you be confused as to why half of your pairs were missing. Sometimes he wished you could see it, see his eyes rolling back as his own hands were working at jerking himself off— taking in your scent and feeling so high off of it.

"Donnie!" He jumped up a bit, realizing he had been in class. Jesus, when had he gotten here? "I said do you have a pencil for me to borrow?" Blinking a bit, he nodded his head. "Yeah..yeah, here man."

"What's gotten into you, snap out of it." He wished he could, if he hadn't met you everything would go somewhat smoothly and he could continue along with his day.

"Hey Donnie!" Hearing your voice, he instantly turned his body around and started walking next to you. "Hey," he felt shy, itching to hold your hand but he just shoved it in his pocket. "I'm gonna be going to the movies later, you wanna come?" God, he wanted to say yes, say yes so so badly— but he couldn't. The hope in your eyes slightly went away as he said no, "Ah, I understand." No, no you didn't understand. He didn't want you to understand it that way, he needed you to understand how badly he needed you.

"Hey, hey, look." He blocked your way, standing in front of you as the gravel crumbled underneath his feet. "Look.. I have a therapist, and that's the reason I can't make it tonight." His heart skipped a beat as you smiled slightly, this time actually getting it. "Oh, then there's no worries! I just thought you didn't want to hang out with me." Never in a million years would that be possible, not now or ever.

"Of course I wanna hang out with you." He grabbed your face, almost till it hurt. "What makes you think I don't?" You laughed, your cheek squishing together more as you did so. "Well, maybe the fact you're trying to pop my head open."

His hands let go, heading to his sides while he tried to laugh it off.

Hypnotherapy. Donnie wasn't sure how to feel about it, each and every time he'd 'wake up' hard, and his dick almost out.

"So..Donnie." Dr. Thurman walk back and forth around the room, "Have you met anyone new?"

Donnie nodded, taking a bit before answering. "I met a boy.." he muttered, already feeling a slight twitch in his pants.

"That so? ..Is he like Frank?" Donnie shook his head, no. "No..no, he's nothing like Frank, he's.." He bit his lip, slightly giggling. "He's real." Dr. Thurman took that as a note to most likely stop. Because if Donnie liked this boy, then his pants would be unbuttoned again.

"Do you have any romantic interest in him?" Donnie looked over at her, eyes practically closed but not too much. "You gonna call me a fag if I say I do?" Dr. Thurman shook her head. "No, if you have interest in him we should discuss it." She almost felt the need to say 'For his safety' but she kept it shut.

"Would you mind explaining more?" Bad idea.

"Mh.. well.." His body shifted on the couch a bit. "His body..I love it..I wanna be all over it." Taking a breath, he continued on. "And fuck him..really really hard, feel him squirm and moan out my name." His hands went to his pants, unbuttoning somewhat slower.

"He's so sweet to me..wonder if his moans are sweeter..if his hole is as tight as my fist when I—" "Donnie. I need you to..explain something else." She didn't want to hear that.

"Explain what..how I look at him while he's asleep and awake? Sniff his clothes? Fantasize about using his body how I'd like? That what you wanna hear?" Dr. Thurman clapped her hands.

"that's enough for today Donnie."

"Morning Donnie." You gave him your usual wave, smiling over at him. He reciprocated, before reminding himself of something.

"Oh— hey, wait a minute." He stopped you, grabbing your arms. "Do you wanna..go out? Somewhere? Sometime?" He went silent as you seemed dumbfounded, his heart feeling heavy and he felt sort of angry.

Why were you looking at him like that? Confused? Did you not want him like he did? "Like, today? Sure why not." Then you smiled at him, and he felt himself get less tense.

"Great."

#bottom male reader #donnie darko #donnie darko x reader #donnie darko x you #male reader #bottom reader #donnie darko x male reader

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echantedtoon · 3 days ago

Text

A Lover's Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch26 Red Means Many Things

Taglist: @shadyd3ar @jcrml

@tengensangel @miniverse-zen @mysteri0uz @jjamsbangtan

@the-unknown-fandom

@lavenderdropp @mimisweetz. @purplesoulsapphire

@kksmush @denkpanda18 @whomisi @lessthanimperfect @silver-rin

@namis-noodlebox

@k1ttyluverz @akiramente

@rascalraccoon @ravenclawkae1

@gilded-sunrays @crescent-blades

@yukari1k @bloodymarysgirl21

@artbyrebel @abaker74 @lunarluna9482

@rainbowidol @lanabanoms @whatarewe-choppedliver

Remember if you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

(The dress Y/n wears to the dance is above. Not mine. Found on Pinterest.)

"Gyomei. Y/n. Will you do us the honor of going to the dance with us?~"

There was absolute silence as you both stared at Tengen still on one knee(or in Gyomei's case blindly facing their general direction). For a full awkward minute there was nothing but silence all around other than the distant squeals and yells of children down the hall behind you and the clock to ticking on the wall.

You blinked as you stared at the men and women before you. Once. Twice. Shaking your head to be sure you saw what you were actually seeing and it wasn't a daydream or something else. But no. They were still there. Tengen on one knee and the others looking expectantly in suspense or nervousness. What was going on?

"What on earth do you all think you're doing?"

You ended up jumping as the deep voice of your boyfriend came out but it wasn't his voice that made you jump but the tone of it. F/c eyes glanced up at him as your neck craned to look at him and you stood there stunned by the deep frown set on his face. Eyebrows furrowing and lips tight as they turned down at the ends. You were not the only stunned person in the room because Tengen had also been rendered speechless by his sudden shift in personality.

"I-.." He started unsure of what to say as were you. "We-Well she mentioned that she never had a good experience with a dance so...I figured it would be a good time to ask her out?" Slowly he stood back up free hand rubbing his head with a nervous grin.

However his explanation had the opposite effect of what he was hoping because the taller man only narrowed white eyes harder at him. "Ask her-...What on Buddha's green earth are you going on about?"

"Well...I mean .." And for once the usually composed and confident Tengen faltered under the intense gaze of the taller man looking everywhere but his blind gaze and your shocked expression. "It ..was way more romantic in my head."

"I think what Tengen means is that we wanted to express what we feel now." Kanae mediated in the voice she usually uses when having to talk down Sanemi's temperamental spats or convince Iguro to not do something rash. With a calm smile she held up her hands. "The fact of the matter is, Mei...I think keeping it under wraps any longer would just hurt everyone in the long run by not telling her."

The much larger man crossed his arms still clearly unimpressed by the sudden bombshell dropped on you both. "And you all thought announcing it like this in public and without discussing it with ME first would be a good idea?"

"Oh. We didn't come to confess." Tengen once again held up the flowers as if he could smell them better. "We wanted to do that later. We just thought it'd be fun to give Y/n a good dance for once."

"..Is-...I-Is that what this is all about?" You had finally found your voice through the shock and immediately your boyfriend snapped his head to you in question. You glanced at him, then at the others, before sighing and gesturing to Tengen. "Um..Last month I mentioned that I.. wasn't going to the dance. Then Tengen asked me why and we'll.." You guiltily shrugged. "I happened to mention the only dance I've ever been to was just another bad date in my book of a bad dating life."

"Yeah! Exactly! I think you deserve to have a good time!" He struck a pose. "And what other flamboyant time would you have than with us?~"

Gyomei was silent continuing to stare at you before he sighed and reached a hand up to rub his face. "....You should have at least ASKED me first."

"We know. We're sorry. We just wanted it to be a surprise for you both."

"Well I won't deny it's really sweet of you guys to offer to go with me, but like I said I really wasn't planning on going." A disappointed 'Oh' left Mitsuri's mouth and you immediately felt bad that they had literally gone through all the effort to ask you. Getting you and Mei flowers and taking time away from classes and work to ask you in person. "But..." Immediately their heads perked back up. "It would be fun to hang out with friends for a night."

"SO YOU'LL GO?!," Mitsuri yelled out making Sanemi since next to her.

You shrugged. "Sure. It's not like I'd be doing anything else that night." Your head then turned up to Gyomei. "But only if you want to go. I'd hate to go without a date."

He hummed loudly. "..Agreed." white eyes turned back to the group of people who stood there. A firm hand pointing at them all. "But if you all are accompanying her, it's going to be strictly just as friends. Do I make myself perfectly clear on the matter?"

"Oh yeah. Absolutely. Totally fine."

"Good. Then if you all don't mind we have to get back to work." He turned half way before pausing in seeming quick realization before turning back to point at them firmly again. "Tomorrow evening all of us are going to have a VERY important talk. Whether everyone likes it or not."

Everyone exchanged looks similar to spooked children knowing that they had done something wrong and were going to get scolded by their parents. You rose a brow confused at all of them but before you could say anything a large pair of hands was already turning you around by the shoulders and ushering you back to the nursery and daycare. Your neck craned to look over your shoulder at the quickly disappearing people before confused you turned back to the irritated giant.

"Mei, what just happened back there?" You jabbed a thumb over your shoulder. "What did Tengen mean by confessing?"

He didn't say anything at first before he sighed tiredly. "I'll explain everything to you but let's wait until after work so we can properly talk."

You were highly bewildered about everything that was going on right now but didn't have a chance to say anything else about it when your boss poked her head out of the daycare in question to what was going on, holding a little girl sipping on a juice box on her hips.

"Is everything ok? Lacey said there was a big commotion outside."

"Everything's ok," you assured her holding up a hand. "Some friends just wanted to stop by is all."

Her brows furrowed. "Well tell them they can't just visit you during work hours. Those parents pay for good childcare and we can't just drop everything for some chit chat!"

"I'll make sure they know."

"Good. In the meantime come help me pass out this veggie platter. It's snack time, and you get back to the nursery before those babies start crying."

For now you both got back to work handing out the little snacks and taking care of the babies, but you were highly concerned about what happened just a little while ago...You HAD a good idea now of what was going on and it made a rock form in your stomach at the thought of it. But you were PRAYING that you were wrong and just overanalyzing things.

You really, REALLY hoped you were wrong.

It felt like forever as you both worked trying to get your mind off what just happened but you couldn't, especially when Sanemi came to get Koto as usual. Only this time he gave you a large smile and lingered a little bit longer before he had to move for a tired dad holding a cup of coffee coming to pick up his daughter. Oh no. You had a bad feeling about this. The nervous rock in your stomach grew from a pebble to a rock to a boulder through the entire routine of cleaning up and leaving, only to run into the giant man waiting for you in the lobby.

The sight of him took you aback. You hadn't seen him so dead serious before as he turned to you the moment he heard your familiar footsteps. There was no room for dilly dally. Your mouth opened to say something but found nothing came out. Instead he only silently reached out to put an arm around your shoulders and guided you outside.

The drive back to your home was silent, felt like an eternity driving back in the awkward silence even though it really wasn't more than maybe fifteen minutes or so. But with each stop sign or red light, your worry grew more and more intense with each passing moment. Until you finally got back to your house and walked through the crunching snow towards the door. Each crunch was like glass breaking in the silence between you both as you just silently fumbled with the keys and eventually was able to unlock the door before letting yourselves inside.

"Are you hungry?," you finally decided to break the silence going to remove your coat and scarf.

He shook his head. "No. ...I think we should talk now and not stall the inevitable."

"Right. Right."

His head turned following your movements as he listened to his girlfriend shuffle on over to the sofa and sit down. After a moment he joined her walking on over to slowly sit down with a sigh, both hands reaching up to rub his face. There you both awkwardly sat in the silence with him bracing himself for what was ahead until he eventually gave up and just turned to her worriedly.

"Well there is no getting around the subject. I want you to know that no matter what happens next, I very much love you and enjoyed our time together." A large hand patted around until he found one of yours and grabbed it. "And if you want to break up after this then I will completely understand that and respect your decision-"

"Whoa there!" You held up your other hand to stop him from spouting anymore. "You're jumping the gun there, Mei. Why would I ever want to break up with you? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Perhaps not but you may change your mind once I tell you what I've been dreading to tell you ever since I spoke with Kyojuro."

"Mei." You squeezed his large hand with both of yours in assurance. "Whatever it is I won't get mad. I promise. You can literally tell me anything and I'll listen. I promise."

He stared at you for a long silent moment before he shakily inhaled and exhaled. "Alright then. But I must warn you to brace yourself. The news will greatly..shock you."

"Tell me. I can take it."

"Alright. I'm just going to say it how it is." He looked dead at you more serious than ever before. "My partners have fallen in love with you."

Silence.

Gyomei say there face still facing you and serious. You sat there holding his hand and smiling still, f/c eyes cartoony wide. The processing of words hung in the air between the two of them as the pregnant silence continued to go on and on.

".......... Come again?"

"My partners fell in love with you."

"......Define love."

"As in they are VERY romantically interested in you." More silence came from the darkness in front of him causing him to tilt his head at you. "Y/n?"

"...Oh. Is that all?"

"Are you alright? You sound.. shocked."

"I think I am in shock."

"I'll go get you a glass of water."

"Yeah..thanks."

You continued to sit there staring off into space as he slowly got up to go fetch a glass of water. Leaving you sitting there, alone, and staring wide eyed at the wall. If was quiet for a very long, LONG moment before a sound that could only be described as a cross between a choke and gasp escaped your throat.

What?! How did-..Why were they-....HUH?! You didn't hear that right! You couldn't have POSSIBLY have heard that right! There was absolutely no way a whole bunch of your friends just happened to fall in love with you! No, no, no! That must've been a mistake! You must've misheard him! They loved you.. platonically! Yeah! Like how you loved Murata As a brother figure! Or how you loved your Aunt Dakita! Or-...Or Gyomei was playing a joke on you! Yeah that must've been it! Just one big joke and he was going to say sike any moment-

You blinked as a glass of water was suddenly held up to you and you blinked before slowly looking back up to you. "Here." Gyomei slowly sat back down on the sofa making it dip under his weight. "This might help calm your nerves."

"T-Thank you." You shakily took it from him and just stared at it for a long moment. "...This..is t a joke. Is it?" There was still a shred of hope that it was but that ship sank as he slowly shook his head.

"No. I'm afraid I'm quite serious. However I didn't think they'd want to make a grand gesture like that."

Wait..

You snapped up to him again. "Wait. You KNEW how they felt the whole time?!"

In turn he quickly held up his hands. "I was not aware of them all feeling this way. As far as I was aware only Mitsuri, Kyojuro, Sanemi, and possibly Kanae had feelings but they agreed to not overstep any boundaries when I had spoken to them. There wasn't any real changes in behavior with anyone else so I assumed that they had just started to view you as a very good friend."

"So you weren't planning on telling me that at least four of your partners liked me?" You raised a brow at him and for once he looked guilty.

"I-...*sigh* No. They were all in agreement with me to not overstep because they wanted to support me in the first successful relationship I've had, and you all were getting along so well that I was afraid of what might have happened if I ruined everything by scaring you with this."

"You wouldn't have ruined anything!" You insisted frowning with annoyance. "I'm dating YOU, Mei. Even if they confessed..Uh..I guess they had. But nevermind that. I want YOU. I like them too but I'm gonna have to let them down. I'm more mad that you didn't trust me with this."

The man's face blinked in surprise from where he sat but it quickly became guilty again. "I know. No amount of apology is going to make that alright. I'm-.. I'm so very sorry."

You inhaled deeply and in response chugged down the water making him blink as you placed it hard against the coffee table with a thud. Standing up, he blinked more turning his head following as you began to randomly pace and rub your face.

"This....Is crazy."

"Im very sorry. If you wish to call things off I completely understand."

"Mei, I'm not breaking up with you over people having a crush on me." You clarified firmly rubbing your temples still. Why did all these complicated dating things happen to YOU?! WHY?! WHAT DID YOU DO IN A PAST LIFE THAT WAS SO BAD THAT YOU WERE CURSED WITH A TOPSY TURVEY DATING LIFE?! "I'm just... processing everything right now."

"Oh." He sounded completely surprised at your response. "You are taking this rather well."

"No..I'm just very numb to sudden stressful things happening to me by now." You slowly inhaled before exhaling. Ok. Think about this logically. "Ok. They all have feelings for me right?"

"I think we have already established that yes."

"And if I reject them then they'll completely understand right?" You turned to his puzzled face.

He slowly nodded. "Of course. They are not bad people."

"Then our problem is solved!" You brightly smiled. "I'll just let 'em down gently and see can all move on like nothing happened!"

"Would you agreeing to go with them to the dance not contradict that?"

You waved him off with a PSB sound. "You already established that we'd all go as friends. There's nothing to worry about."

He didn't look like he believed you for a moment. "How about we calm down?" His head glanced at your still pacing feet. "A movie and pizza sound nice?" Something that could distract from this awkward situation right now.

"Yeah, yeah." You nodded taking a deep breath in. Pizza sounds pretty good right about now. "I'll order us some wings and some drinks too. And maybe some of those chocolate cakes from Pizza House."

"Sounds delicious."

Spoilers alert!! You in fact did NOT forget about anything that had happened to you that day even with the small date night you both had. You just kept the entire thing in your mind and kept you up late that night making you tired all next morning on the drive there and even as you plastered on a customer service smile to greet the awaiting parents and kids. Feeling that dreaded feeling elevated once a man with white hair came walking in.

"HI, NICE LADY!!," Koto announced loudly waving his tiny arm at you with a bright smile.

You did smile genuinely to the toddler. "Hi, Koto. Are you ready for another day here? Ms. Lacey is gonna be reading another chapter of Pete Rabbit today."

"Yay!! Bunnies!!" He cheered reaching out to you as you easily heaved him out of Sanemi's arms with a smile.

"Oh. You getting to be so big." You spoke adjusting him on your hip before looking at his big brother expecting to be handed over the diaper bag of extra clothes, personal toys, and anything else Koto needed.

Sanemi did plop down the black backpack onto the front desk, but you were also surprised when he placed down one of those giant gift bags you'd buy at the local store for big birthday presents or something. "We forgot to leave these with you yesterday." Sanemi spoke to you with a smile before reaching out to ruffle his brother's head, smiling brighter as Koto giggled. "Right. You be good, Big Man. I'll be back and then we can go play at the park for a little bit."

"Yay! Snow!"

"And I-" You jumped as he looked back to you and pointed smiling. "-will definitely be seeing you later, Babe.~"

You froze staring wide eyed as Sanemi turned and just left without another word walking out as happy as can be with his little brother waving a hand to him. "Bye bye, Nemi!"

You continued to stare at where he left, holding the door open for a young mom and her baby before he really left, before stiffly turned to the giant gift bag and slowly reaching out a hand to pull back the top. You saw a whole bunch of flowers, mostly red roses but there was a bunch of different colored ones too, that peeked up to you. The same flowers they had been holding just the other day.

It was definitely hard to pretend to get through the rest of the work day and greet Sanemi again once he came back to get his little brother and of course your boyfriend noticed despite not being able to see you. Guess you weren't disguising your voice well enough to hide your nerves because he pulled you aside before you had a chance to go out to your car.

"Y/n, are you alright?"

"I'm...fine. I-I think I'm still nervous about this whole situation, and confused. Bu-But I'll be ok." You put the bag of flowers behind you hoping he wouldn't be able to smell them. "I think I'm just going to go home and take a hot shower and long nap."

He hummed raising a brow before slowly nodding. "Alright. It's understandable you'd need time to process this entire situation. Do you want me to walk you home?"

"No. I can drive. Do you want a ride?"

He shook his head. "No. I still have that long talk to give to them." Oh yeah. You'd forgotten about that. "I'll be seeing you later. And, Dear."

"Yes?"

"You might want to put those flowers in some water before they start withering."

Crap-

You decided that you did not want to stick around for whatever fireworks would come from Gyomei talking to them and did go straight home with your unlikely gift. Also you had decided to not bring up Sanemi's little flirt to Gyomei in order to spare him from whatever further trouble might arise from it. Instead you tried to just forget everything else was going on but was not meant to be because the very next day you had to face Sanemi again and you were a nervous wreck going to work and changing into your pink apron and awaiting the arrival of Sanemi as usual. Except the white haired man came in with the most guilty expression you'd ever seen on him as he walked up to you, Koto absentmindedly playing with a toy in his hands.

"Hey," you greeted him with a smile.

"Hey...Look. About everything that happened this week," he started looking guilty at the countertop. "We're all really sorry for springing everything on ya."

"Oh." You guessed that whatever Gyomei said must've stuck with them, or at least for Sanemi it did. "I-It's ok." He rose a brow glancing back to you. You raised your hands. "Really. I'm not mad. Actually I'm more shocked about it and confused than anything else."

"Yeah. Well Mei didn't seem too thrilled about it last night. He made us all promise to apologize to ya before he could forgive us."

"Well it's understandable. You guys should've talked to him first before doing anything, but I'll him know that you apologized and see if I can get him to calm down. Ok?"

He looked surprised. "Wait. Really?"

"Yeah. All's forgiven. Do you still wanna be friends?"

"Hell yeah! I mean-" He quickly cleared his throat before glancing around. "I mean yes. That'd be great..Thanks. I mean it."

"I know you guys do. While I appreciate the whole-" you gestured between you both. "-gesture, I think it's best we all just stay friends."

Sanemi sighed. "Yeah. I figured that'd probably be the result of this."

"Don't be upset. I'm happy you guys were honest with me, just maybe next time go about it a different way. Will you tell everyone else no hard feelings and we can stay friends?"

He nodded slowly handing over his baby brother. "Yeah. I'll drop a message in the group chat before class."

You lit up brightly glad things would go back to normal. "Thanks, Sanemi. I'll see you later."

"Um. Ye-Yeah." He turned to go. "You too."

You watched him start to leave before a cheeky idea crossed your mind and you smirked. "Oh, Sanemi." He stopped to raise a brow back to you in question. You smiled evilly. "You're absolutely ADORABLE when you're shy.~"

"EH?!"

In an instant his face went from pale to a dark cherry red as he stared at you making you instantly start giggling. He sputtered out something that sounded like a flustered peacock noise before quickly turning to leave, accidentally running into the door with a loud THUD, before frantically scrambling to shove the door open and run out.

You couldn't help but giggle louder at his flustered state. "And to think people find him scary."

"Nemi not scary," Koto piped up in your arms.

"No. You're right. He's actually pretty cute.~"

You turned to go take Koto to the daycare and got halfway down the hall before you stopped. A realization dawning on you. You thought Sanemi...was CUTE. ..Uh oh. Well that's fine. You can admit someone was attractive without being attracted to them. For example Murata was a decent looking guy, and your aunt was very lovely looking for her age.

Mitsuri and Suma was absolutely adorable with their bubbly personalities. Shinobu and Kanae were both very radiant. The rest of Tengen's wives were absolute knockouts. And speaking of the flashy man he's absolutely gorgeous! No wonder he's a successful host. Kyojuro was absolutely handsome too! His personality only heightened that. Sanemi was very handsome in that rugged bad boy way even though he was nothing but a sweetheart. Obanai was similar to Sanemi, but he was more charming in the tsundere sense all shy and cute when he gave you that poem and...And. ..

"...Crap."

A small finger poked your cheek as Koto scolded you. "Bad word."

You needed to talk to someone else about this, but it's not exactly like you could just talk to the people who like you because they might take your mixed feelings as a miscommunication. Gyomei was definitely an option but he might be upset again with them or you. Your first thought was Murata but knowing how he felt about your friends/boyfriend previously he'd probably just insist on breaking up with Gyomei. No. You needed someone who would be unbiased. Who'd listen to what you had to say. Someone who was REALLY good at helping people with their complicated feelings about love!

"-and I think I'm starting to lose it."

It had been the Saturday before Valentine's Day. You had to painstakingly wait the entire rest of the week between work and classes to get a chance to go talk to your aunt again. In the meantime dealing with the awkwardness of seeing Sanemi dropping off Koto, the girls at the cafe, asking Giyuu or Shinobu for class notes you missed, and Gyomei still being a little annoyed with them all. He'd mellowed out definitely hearing that Sanemi apologized to you and hearing you get like a million texts that night from multiple people asking for forgiveness but it was still awkward to an uncomfortable extent.

So now here you were. Sat down on your Aunt's sofa worn out from years of use but she refused to throw it away only gluing patches of fabric over the years so it looked more like a quilt than a couch. Head in your hands and groaning

The older woman in the room hadn't spoken a single word since she greeted you upon opening the front door and giving the go ahead to explain everything to her. The entire time she had all but done the usual thing. Instead of sitting down and looking at you like a normal person would when listening to someone poor their hearts out, she was busy humming away with a smile on her face and using a cloth to polish a few of her crystals. Her pet tarantula, Sir Fuzzykins McSpiderweb the Fourth, was absentmindedly crawling around the table she was standing at stopping when his owner placed down the rose quartz near him.

"Wow. This is way better than any romance novel I've read," she said waving a hand. "You can't make up this kind of stuff -"

"Can't you be serious for once!?" You shot her a scowl. "I'm starting to lose my mind here!"

"What's there to be lost over?" With a few twirls of her legs like a ballerina she held up her arms. "You've fallen in love at long last!"

"Yeah. With Gyomei! My BOYFRIEND?! You remember him. He's the guy who you told embarrassing stories too like the time I got stage fright in the school play." You scowled harder as she sighed in nostalgia.

"Oh yes. Such fond memories. You were the cutest butterfly." She waved her hand again turning back to the table of crystals. "But I know you're not going to stop howling like a dog until I get back on topic. So you say that these lovely young people proposed to you?"

"No. They didn't propose but they asked me out to a dance and confused their love." Your head fell into your hands again. "Now my boyfriend is made at them, and they're all... awkward. And now I think I'm going crazy thinking about them. But I can't possibly return those feelings because I'm already in love with my boyfriend!"

"Just to be clear-" She looked over her shoulder at you with a look that something should've been obvious. "We're both talking about the same boyfriend who is in love with eleven other people right? Why would he be upset if you also fall for them or they all fall for you? I mean doesn't that just make things more easier for everyone involved?"

"I'M NOT POLY!!" Your voice echoed out ringing off the walls and scaring Sir Fuzzykins into climbing up your Aunt's arm whom was completely unphased by your outburst. "GYOMEI IS!! Which I'm fine with that but I made it clear to everyone else that I was only dating HIM not his partners and everyone else was fine with that! But now I'm scared that I-..."

"That you might be polyamorous after all?"

"No! That I might upset Gyomei even further! And I don't know that! I can find someone attractive without being attracted to them! Like your favorite movie actor you think is really good looking."

She nodded in agreement. "That's true. But, Honey, I think you're misunderstanding something." Her hand reached out to rub Sir Fuzzykins's abdomen to calm him down from where he rested on her shoulder. "From what you told me, it doesn't sound like your man is mad at his partners FOR having feelings. More so he's angry about how they went about expressing those feelings without regarding him first."

Your brow rose. "You think so?"

She nodded humming. "Honey I see it ALL the time. It's like proposing to someone. There's factors you got to ask them about before you even think of proposing." She counted on her fingers as she listed off reasons. "Do they want a public or private proposal? Do they feel like they've been together long enough to propose? Is there a time or place they want to get proposed to? Do they want a gold or silver ring? Would that person even WANT to be married?" She looked at you. "Those friends didn't ask before making the leap and now they must deal with the consequences of it."

"Then what do I do to get Gyomei to stop being mad at them?"

"Nothing."

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused." You deadpanned looked at her again and she sighed before turning around to face you with Sit Fuzzykins in her hands. "Look. The fact of the matter is, they did that to themselves. There's literally nothing you can do to make him not mad at them. He's going to have to stop being mad in his own time. Don't worry. He's the understanding type so it won't be too long before everything blows over but you shouldn't push it. Relax and let everyone settle down."

You inhaled before slowly exhaling. "You're right. Mei's not the one to stay mad at anyone for too long." Especially people he loved. That's at least two things you didn't have to worry about. "But what do I do about my feelings?...If they even are feelings and not me overthinking things or me thinking I like them when I really only admire them or something."

"Oh that's easy. You tell them."

A duck sound went off in your head. "What? You're kidding me right?"

"Nope! If you want to resolve your feelings you need to tell them and your man and discuss things." She turned to go put Sir Fuzzykins back in tank. "Then together you decide what you want to do. Do you wanna explore these possible feelings or do you want to remain friends?"

"But I already told them that I want to just be friends."

"Ah. And THAT is why you need to have a talk. Because nothing gets resolved until people talk. I don't get why people avoid the most obvious solutions and play the beating around the bush until it's too late game?" She slowly placed the spider down on a heated rock before turning to you. "You wanted to know what to do? Sit down. Talk. And then decide what YOU want to do from there. THAT is what must be done. "

"But-" You groaned and ran a hand through your hair. "It's not that easy."

"Of course not. No one ever said it was easy. The phrase easier said than done is a phrase for a reason. But then again nothing about love is that simple."

"I know. I know but-...*sigh*" You deflated. "You're right. I just hope it's not going to backfire on me."

"Oh trust me. Everything's going to be ok in the end. Just be sure to do it as soon as possible. The longer you wait the harder it usually is."

"Yeah. I'm going to do it but I'm not gonna like it." You slowly stood up feeling both relieved and more dread. "Thanks, Auntie. I really needed to talk to someone."

She waved you off with a shrug. "Ah. Forget about it. What are family for? OH!" She suddenly perked up remembering something with a loud snap of her fingers. "That reminds me." The same fingers pointed at you. "You're going to the dance next week right?"

You paused staring wide eyed at her. "..How did you-"

"I told you my cards never lie," she said matter of factly before turning to start walking towards the den, her hand gesturing for you to follow her towards. "I know how important it is to you so I got you a little something to celebrate your first college dance."

"Got me something?" You were confused but followed her.

She walked on over to the door to said den before just opening the door and walking inside without a care in the world. You followed up to the doorway before stopping dead in your tracks at what was inside. Inside was a model mannequin, the kind you'd see in display windows at clothing stores.

But it was ON the mannequin that had you staring.

A beautiful silver and purple ball gown was draped over the mannequin delicately as the fabric fell to the floor and the ruffles sparkled in the right, as realistic roses held onto the waist and start of the parting of the first layer of fabric. Your aunt just lifted the entire thing up by the waist and brought it on over to you without a care in the world.

"You remember Mr. Satoshi right? The man that owns the bridal and tailor shop." She placed the entire thing in front of you. You knew Mr. Satoshi. Your aunt had helped him gain a lot of business from brides searching for that perfect wedding dress to teenagers who needed a prom dress before graduation to simple business men who just simply wanted a nice suit for that next business trip overseas. But you didn't pay attention to that too transfixed on the gorgeous dress. "He owed me a favor and I still had your measurements from when you were a bridesmaid for your cousin's wedding you remember that. So I cashed it in. Do you like it? I think he did a wonderful job."

"Oh my god. Is this real?" You felt like you were looking at another one of Tengen's paintings come to life. Your hand reached out to gently touch the soft fabric to make sure it was real. "It's real."

"For the amount of business I give him it better be!," your aunt laughed before smiling at you. "You're going to look beautiful, Hun. Take it with you. You'll need it next Friday."

"I don't... know what to say." You looked at her in awe. "Thank you."

"Ah. No need to thank me, Kiddo. But if ya really want to make it up to me, take a picture and give it to me for my scrapbook."

"Scrapbook? Since when have you kept a scrapbook?"

"Since you were that cute butterfly in the play."

"...I thought we agreed to not ever talk about it again."

You never knew how nervous you ever felt just by picking up your phone that night and staring at your phone's contact numbers in it. You hadn't really texted them since they bombarded you with apologies a couple of days ago, since then it had been nothing but dead silence other than the few times you had spoken to them in person. Perhaps Gyomei had told them to give you space or maybe they felt extremely guilty about what happened? Either way your Aunt Dakita was right. If you were going to solve this dilemma then you had to break the ice first. But who would you talk to first?

Someone who'd be the calmest of them all.

Sanemi was a bit too temperamental. Mitsuri too emotional. Kanae seemed like a good mediator but Sanemi might be with her. Shinobu seemed really calm but she might take it too seriously. Your first choice was Kyojuro but Tengen or his wives would be wife him and this was all Tengen's idea to begin with. He might take it the wrong way again and decide on another flashy gesture. In the end you decided to text who seemed the most calmest, most neutral, most patient person that wasn't Gyomei in the group.

Y/n: Hi, Giyuu. R u awake rn?

You sent the text and then waited. After a few minutes of pacing and checking your phone every few seconds you thought maybe he was asleep or something when a response finally came through.

Giyuu: Good evening, Y/n. Do you need some more class notes?

Whelp. No going back now. Taking a deep breath you sighed and continued writing.

Y/n: no. Is Shinobu there with you?

Giyuu: No. She's working a late shift. Why?

Y/n: I wanted to talk to someone about something important. Do you remember the day you guys asked me to the dance?

Giyuu: Yes...Are you made?

Y/n: Not at all. I just wanted to talk to everyone about it.

Giyuu: Why? Did you change your mind about going?

Y/n: No. But I did change my mind about the conditions of going.

He didn't respond right away. You continued staring at the phone holding your breath for what seemed like forever until he finally sent something back.

Giyuu: I'm confused. What do you mean by that?

You hesitated before breathing in. Well might as well be honest since you had already set the table.

Y/n: Do you remember when Mei said we'd only go as friends?

Giyuu: He made that very clear.

Y/n: Well I changed my mind about that bit.

Giyuu: You want to go with just Mei then?

Y/n: What if I said that I was thinking about going with you guys more.. romantically?

Again there was a longer pause. You were pretty much expecting this actually and why you chose Giyuu to send this too first because he'd hopefully have a calmer reaction to the news than everyone else. There was a good ten minutes as you watched the screen nervously before there was finally a response from him.

Giyuu: This isn't a joke right? Like to get back at us or something?

Well should've expected that question.

Y/n: No, Giyuu. I'm dead serious. Is everyone free tomorrow so I talk to you all face to face?

Giyuu: YES. WHERE AND WHEN?!

Y/n: everyone knows where Tengen's is right? I'll get Mei and head over there tomorrow to meet everyone. Will you please let everyone know?

Giyuu: Absolutely! I'll be waiting there tomorrow.

Y/n: Ok. See you then.

With that you breathed a sigh of relief out before taking a moment to breath. That was one thing down..only there was one other thing to do. Guilty picking up the phone and going through the contacts again before you stopped on one, pressing the call button before holding it up to your ear. It rang a few times before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mei. It's me. You got a minute? I gotta tell you something pretty important."

***********************

"Are you sure you're not mad at me?"

"For the twenty third time no. I am not angry with you, but I will say that I certainly am surprised. This was not what I had expected to happen at all."

The ground was still caked in snow being February and the cold outside nipped everyone outside. For now it was just yourself and Gyomei squished uncomfortably in the passenger seat next to you but he didn't complain, in fact he seemed to be quite calmer now. Not annoyed like he had been the past few days, so maybe he was finally done being mad or the sudden news of you telling him you'd want to try giving this dating poly idea a chance was shocking enough to make him forget about ever being mad in the first place. Either way you were glad he was back in a normal mood.

"Well I just wanna be sure. Cuz I know it's really sudden and I know that I said I wasn't interested before..but something popped up and I really think I'd at least see what happens. I figured that the worst thing that could happen was that it doesn't work out and we can just go back to being friends." You turned to him. "Right?"

He nodded. "Of course. But are you SURE it's because it's something you want to do yourself and not something you're doing just to try and appease everyone?"

You nodded firmly. "Yes. I had like a week to think about it constantly." And you got help processing your feelings with the resident love expert. "I'm certain that it's at least something I want to try. If nothing comes off it, no harm no foul. But I wanted to make it clear to everyone else that's what I'm doing and not jumping into that kind of relationship before testing the waters."

He nodded. "That's a good idea."

As you drove, the familiar two story house came back into view. Tengen's home. The familiar knot in your stomach formed again as you slowly pulled up right in front of the home to a stop. Slowly forcing yourself to get out and hear the snow crunching under both your feet as you nervously stared up at the house.

"Are you nervous?"

"Is it that obvious?"

He chuckled walking around the car towards you. "It's quite alright. I felt the exact same way when we all spoke about trying this relationship, but I will be here for you if you need me."

You smiled at him already feeling better. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

He chuckled at him. "Plenty of times, but we shouldn't keep the others waiting."

Yeah. It wouldn't be right to bail on them after you just asked them all to be here for you.. Steeling yourself, you walked with him right behind you up to the door where you knocked and then waited. You both didn't have to wait long before the door opened up and eleven pairs of eyes stared at you both.

"Hey, Everyone. I think we need to talk."

****

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smytherines · 3 days ago

Text

I had a lot of fun writing this one. I think reintegrated Tatiana Slozhno sort of necessitates a different style of writing than what I usually do, so I got to be very spontaneous and informal with it and just get out of my own way for once, and I'm really happy with the result

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She blinks. She doesn't know. She blinks again. Shouldn't she know? The voice on the intercom is cheery, and the room she's in is clean and well-appointed, and shouldn't she know the color of her mother's eyes?

Panic curls in her stomach and dread creeps up her spine as she realizes she cannot remember. She can't remember her name. She can't remember picking out the blouse and skirt and heels she is wearing. She can't remember how she got here, or where here is, or what here is.

The voice on the intercom says something, but she can't hear it. She launches herself at the door again, banging at it until her fists are sore. Screaming. Begging to be let out. Threatening and cajoling, kicking until the toes of her dark blue pumps are scuffed and deformed.

The voice on the intercom speaks again, but all she can think about is leaving. She steps out of one mangled shoe, holding it in her hand like a weapon, ready to strike the moment the door--

"Jesus, what the fuck?" It's Curt. His voice is high and loud and alarmed. Curt is here in front of her. In his house, his hands held up in front of his face like he's about to be--

Tatiana notices the boot in her hand, inches away from smashing into him. But that can't be right. She was just...

Shit. Reghabi told her to stay put, but she had to see him. Curt. Her friend, Curt M.

Mega. His name is Curt Mega.

And he's staring at her, equal parts confused and irritated, because while she knows him, he does not know her. For part of her, he's the only friend she has. For part of her, he's a stranger. For this version of him, she's nothing but the lunatic who accosted him at the automat.

Her head hurts.

She slowly lowers the boot until she ends up dropping it onto the floor. Curt relaxes, sort of. He runs his hands through his hair. He checks it a lot, or at least the other one did.

But it is him. Not the same him, but it looks like him, and talks like him, and has the same red-rimmed eyes as him. So it must be him. And if it's him, she can trust him. If it's him, she'll be safe.

Tatiana follows him down the stairs, into the basement, watches as he takes the cover off of a large brown couch and hands her a sleeping bag. And the whole time she can still hear it in her head.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She doesn't know.

"Well-- uhhh--," One of his hands rubs anxiously at the other, "you can sleep down here tonight. And tomorrow we can..." He nods, but doesn't finish.

The basement is sparse, just the couch and a few boxes piled up, but it's warm. And she is so tired.

There's a cigarette case-- silver filigree-- and a matching lighter on the little makeshift table near the couch. She reaches for it on impulse, because who wouldn't want a cigarette after the night she's had? Curt snatches it off the table, clutching it to his chest.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a smoker," she manages. She can spot nicotine stains better than most. She was trained to be observant.

"I'm not." His face twists uncomfortably. "It's... someone I knew."

Curt opens the case reflexively, clearly familiar with it. He examines the contents carefully. And finally, reluctantly, he hands her a cigarette and lights it for her. The case and the lighter go into his pocket.

"I always wondered why you were so sad." She takes a drag. The tobacco is old and stale, and it stings her lungs.

"What do you mean?" Curt asks, his voice oddly low and rumbling, shifting his weight back and forth between his legs the same way her friend does. Restlessness spilling out of him like a pot boiling over.

"Down there." She takes another drag, the pain in her head overwhelmed by lightheadedness and nausea. "Sometimes when you came in, your eyes--"

She ashes her cigarette.

"You're even sadder here." Tatiana finishes quietly.

He looks away like he knows.

Tatiana wonders if that is the kind of thing you're only supposed to say to a friend. It's been so long, she must've forgotten the rules.

Curt clears his throat. He won't meet her eyes now.

"Okay, well... if you need anything I'll be upstairs."

Upstairs with the empty liquor bottles. Upstairs with the reason why Curt M. always smells of alcohol, why he shakes and sweats at the end of the day. Upstairs with whatever thing is haunting him. She knows the feeling well.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She still can't remember. She isn't sure if she ever knew. How old do you have to be to remember a detail like that?

If she thinks carefully, she can remember golden red hair shining in the sun, a faint melody ringing in her ears, deft fingers braiding her hair.

She can remember the state facility, with its grey walls and the stench of antiseptic. The way light twisted and warped the dark hallways.

She can remember the sweater with her initials hand-stitched into the collar, burned in front of her for failing an objective.

She can remember the people she has killed and the ways that she killed them.

She can remember taking a job with Chimera to protect a family which exists only vaguely in the corners of her memory.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

But not that.

Curt is fiddling with the boxes, like he wants to leave but doesn't know how.

Tatiana takes a final inhale, stubbing the cigarette to save the other half for morning. She crawls into the sleeping bag, pulling it up over half her face. She wants to disappear in it. She wants to go back.

She hears Curt moving something as her eyes drift closed.

When she opens her eyes it is pitch black.

She struggles out of the blankets, wearing her older brother's boots with newspaper stuffed inside them, and even in her coat and her boots she is the coldest she has ever been.

She can just barely make out the shape of the room now. She creeps along, hands held out in front of her, needing to find her way out.

She steps into the doorway and she can see a faint light. One of the kitchen chairs her grandfather made is in the fireplace turning to ash. She moves toward it in a trance. It looks warm.

"Tanechka, you should be in bed." Her mother's golden red hair takes on the glow from the fire as she approaches.

She kneels down in front of Tatiana, and sweeps her hair back, and presses a kiss to her forehead.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She watches as Curt's shadow disappears up the steps, and she whispers.

"Blue."

#r/russian said tanechka was a nickname for tatiana so hopefully I got that right?#also sorry but this one will probably only make sense to the people into spyverance or reading the posts #when I did my severance rewatch that question about the color of your mothers eyes got me thinking about tatiana #when I first said Tati should be the Petey I just wanted to give her an interesting role but hadnt thought too much about it #but the more I think about reintegrated Tati the more perfectly it fits #being mentally unstuck in time and thus being a prisoner of her past #getting to unravel her is very interesting to me #OH! And automats are kind of like a vending machine but restaurant sized? theyd put meals in glass displays #and you buy them with coins or tokens #spyverance

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