#because they only get to be there for like five seconds before they're mysteriously Alive again

[backintimeforstuff]

obsessed with the fact that scully is canonically immortal but mulder's the one who's always dying and coming back from the dead ?? truly they are made for each other

[sssammich]

💚 true love's kiss / magic kiss / healed

i got you anon! sorry this took a while.

💚 true love's kiss / magic kiss / healed for supercorp*

ask meme

THIS ABSOLUTELY RAN AWAY FROM ME IM SO SORRY

---

"your true love is an alien."

well. there's certainly a lot to unpack from that, isn't there?

let's try.

first. this short and frumpy old lady with both hands on her hips is standing in front of her desk, somehow able to bypass security and her assistant, jess, who is mysteriously absent from her desk.

second. aliens aren't real. right? (right?)

third. the concept of true love is laughable. this is the 21st century and subscribing to these silly fairytale notions of true love is a lot of bullshit. let alone the idea that there is someone even out there for lena in that capacity. nevermind that apparently the only possible candidate for such a title is someone who isn't even human.

fourth. what does this even all mean? and why is she allowing her conference call to madrid get completely derailed by this woman who looks like she's more suited for the kitchen of a small hole in the wall italian restaurant and not the middle of a fortune 500 corporate office.

(all this to say that when lena eventually looks back at her life, she'll think that this is probably not even top five of the weirdest things to happen to her. it might just barely squeak into the top ten, though.)

still, she's faced with a strange predicament at this time. like how to get this lady out of her office.

yet instead of shooing this lady out, her mouth opens to say, "what's next, are you gonna tell me that magic is also real?"

the old lady in front of her just shrugs. "true love is magic, dearie. keep up, mm?"

when she opens her mouth again, she's just about to dismiss this lady, but it doesn't even matter because as soon as she blinks, she's alone.

-

something saves her.

no wait, it's someone. someone saves her.

her helicopter is crashing, the pilot is dead and dying beside her, and they're plummeting.

until, of course, they're not.

because someone is carrying her burning helicopter down on a hellipad and yanking the door out to check on them. lena's heart is in her throat and her lungs are somewhere in her stomach and she doesn't know if she's still even alive. but this someone is definitely hovering before she's holding lena securely.

"hi," the woman says, tentative, blue eyes and blonde hair and armsarmsarms and a red cape and--

something inside of lena's heart changes-transforms-evolves.

and then she passes the fuck out.

-

when she wakes, it's to dim lighting in a hospital room, the beeping of her heartrate monitor. distantly, she hears very little outside which means she's in a much more private wing of the hospital.

she sits up a little when a nurse comes in holding a tray.

except it's not a nurse at all. but the same lady from before.

"you."

"hello, dearie."

so many questions jump at the forefront of her mind. understandable and reasonable questions like hey lady what the fuck are you doing here? how did you get in? what do you want from me? are you here to kill me? stuff like that.

except the flashes of earlier appear in her mind and she recalls blonde blue red. she gasps.

the old lady smiles. "very good, dearie. they did say you were smarter than the others."

"what do you want from me?"

"nothing."

"then what are you doing here?" she asks, her voice gaining strength, her hands balling into fists by her side.

"just consider me an invested party."

before she can voice anything, the old lady places her cup of jello and plastic spoon by her thigh.

"take care, dearie. tell her i said hello, mm?"

lena's brows furrow, questions crowding her mind as she attempts to make sense of everything but failing to do so. the last she hears is a snap of fingers and she falls into a dreamless sleep.

-

when lena next wakes, she's back in her office. a week after the failed assassination attempt on her life.

the buzz of her intercom signals jess's voice. "miss luthor, your 2pm appointment is here. would you like me to let her in."

"go ahead."

she stands by her desk and brushes at her skirt just as the door opens to reveal a beautiful and bespectacled woman with her hair pulled in a ponytail.

blonde blue red.

lena's mouth dries and her insides do a somersault. she remembers the helicopter, the hospital, the old lady. the words your true love is an alien pinballing in her head (in her heart in her heart in her heart).

"hi, miss luthor. thanks for meeting with me."

lena looks at the offered hand. strong hands that have held her before. on a burning helicopter.

"of course..." she says, waiting for the woman to fill in the blanks.

"kara. kara danvers."

"well, kara, call me lena."

it takes five eternal seconds for them to let go of each other's clasped hands.

-

lena finds out about kara bit by bit. through interviews, through professional coffee meetings, through informal coffee meetings, through casual walks around downtown and the city parks, through casual lunches and dinners and desserts.

congregating around food so she holds a fork or a burger or an ice cream cone in her hand while she fights the urge to hold kara's hand.

lena learns about who kara is. a reporter by day (who moonlights as a superhero, lena muses, but kara doesn't share that information). an avid pop music lover and movie buff. a regular buff with hard cuts of muscles. arms arms arms arms--

kara is lame. a dork. goofy. foolish. beautiful. quiet. pensive. perceptive. deep. kind. loving. oh, so loving. so very loving.

kara is a hugger. a holder. an engulfer. an overwhelmer. she is the ocean and lena is the lone driftwood that crashes against waves. lena wants to be washed ashore only for the ocean to capture her once more because the ocean can't be denied.

she doesn't want to deny kara.

"lena?"

she blinks back to her present, washing away the cloud of her thoughts. right. they're at dinner. her fork held midair just before her mouth. they are in kara's apartment.

"yes, darling?"

kara smiles at her, though there is concern in her eyes. "where'd you go just now?"

she wants to say she went to the ocean but it's true either way when she offers her best smile to kara who mirrors it easily, breezily.

"i was just thinking that your cooking has gotten better."

kara ducks her head, her smile turning shy. "thanks, lena."

lena doesn't want to deny kara.

-

briefly, distantly, lena thinks that perhaps there's an inevitability to this moment.

this moment being:

kara is standing in front of her with her button down shirt opened to the fifth button where lena sees the S emblem over kara's chest.

"i wanted to tell you. f-for so long, i just--" she stops herself and takes a deep breath. "i'm sorry, lena."

lena is quiet. her vision unable to focus on any one thing. she looks at the blonde of her hair out of its regular ponytail. at the blue of kara's eyes. at the red of the symbol atop her chest.

blonde blue red.

"you're an alien." she announces it for the first time, despite the truth have sat carefully under her tongue for months.

kara swallows, then nods. "lena-"

what did that old lady say? she can't remember right now because her brain is buzzing, her heart is thumping, and the overwhelming urge to melt into kara is all she can think about.

she propels forward, pushing up on the tips of her toes, and kisses kara.

kara's arms are around her, hands holding her, body engulfing her.

soft lips slide against hers, press upon her, permanently transforming the chemistry of her body with the way that kara is now part of her.

when they break apart, she only grins at the dazed expression on kara's face.

"you...you like me too?"

she is beaming because of course she likes kara too, likes her more than like. so she answers by kissing kara again.

-

for their first date, kara takes her to a small italian hole-in-the-wall restaurant.

"this is my favorite italian spot in the city. in the state, actually. maybe even the country!" kara exclaims, excitedly talking and gesticulating but making sure that their hands stay interlaced with one another.

when they get there, they're seated right away, a young woman seating them in the back booth.

"hi, kara. table for 2?"

kara nods and lena watches. "you come here often?" she asks.

"yeah. i hit this place up at least a couple times a month. good thing my metabolism allows me to eat as much pasta as i want. the chef in the back makes it fresh every day."

amidst drinking wine and twirling their forks in their pasta, kara is leaning closer to her, the two of them sitting adjacent to each other, their elbows grazing each other on the corner.

when they finish, kara pays, insists on it, and asks if they can stop by the kitchen to pay compliments to the chef. with hands still intertwined, kara pushes the swinging door forward, and calls for chef nina.

lena watches as kara releases her hold of lena and approaches the short and frumpy old lady who only wipes her hands on a stained white apron before opening her arms up to receive kara's hug.

over kara's shoulder, the old lady winks at lena.

and lena?

well, she just laughs and laughs, kisses kara on the lips, and hugs the old lady.

[kadytimberfox]

Kady's Expanse (Re)Watch Blog

Episode 1.01 - "Dulcinea" (Pilot)

And here we go for my...fourth time I've watched this episode I think? It's a really wonderful pilot that does so much work with introducing you to the world, our cast of characters, and setting up the threads of the main plot and does it all perfectly in a very tight 45 minutes. It reminds me a lot of Deep Space Nine's pilot "The Emissary" which is similarly a masterclass in tight storytelling and how to properly kick off a new series.

And speaking of kicking off a new series, hey! I'm watching this show that I absolutely adore again and I'm going to take the time to spout my thoughts about it on the internet because that seems like a fun idea! I really enjoy thinking about media critically but I've never taken the time to write down my thoughts before. It's a style of writing I've always wanted to try so where better to do that than a Tumblr blog? I'll try to keep these Brief and Not Boring but no guarantees on either. Especially on this one. It's the pilot, after all.

I also want to keep this as light on spoilers as possible; again though, no guarantees. Also if you haven't seen this show yet just go fucking watch it it's so good.

Later in this post is a description of torture that happens in the episode. I marked it with a TW and formatted the text to make it distinct from the rest of the post.

With that out of the way, there's nothing left to do except pick apart this pilot!

---------------------------------------

Summary

We kick off with a bang (and then some more banging) as we see a young woman named "Julie" fight her way out of a locked compartment, explore the darkened hallways of her Completely Fucked Spaceship, and watch her friends get eaten alive by some evil blue space goop. Surely none of that will be important later.

Cut to the adventures of hard-boiled Belter detective Joe Miller and his new Earthling partner Dimitri Havelock. They're private cops for an Earth corporation who theoretically maintain order on Ceres Station in the Asteroid Belt, the biggest shithole this side of pretty much anywhere. They go to a murder scene and do basically nothing, antagonize and then arrest people minding their own business at a bar, and take a bribe to half-ass a health inspection. Y'know, classic cop stuff.

Back at the precinct, Miller gets an off-the-books job from his boss to find one Juliette Andromeda Mao, daughter of megacorp magnate Jules-Pierre Mao and coincidentally the spitting image of "Julie" from our opening scene. Apparently, her pro-Belter activism is starting to piss off dear old dad and they want her to come home before she embarrasses the family any further.

In the middle of his investigation, he finds out that those air filters he "inspected" earlier crapped out and poisoned some children. Instead of taking accountability for not doing his job, he decides to throw the sleazy air filter guy into an airlock and only lets him out after he promises not to fuck it up next time. And also to pay Miller double. I'll let it slide though because Sleazy Air Filter Guy is an asshole.

Back on Earth, United Nations Undersecretary Chrisjen Avasarala shows up for about five minutes in this episode. The only thing she does is torture a guy. End scene.

Meanwhile, the good ship Canterbury is on its way to Ceres with a big haul of space ice that the station needs to turn into water. Second Officer James Holden gets immediately promoted, much to his dismay, because his previous boss Mike Ehrmantraut went insane from being out in space too long.

Mystery strikes when the gang gets a weird distress signal from a ship called the Scopuli. Captain McDowell, probably having watched enough Star Trek episodes to know that this can't be anything good, decides to ignore it. Holden just can't stop himself from doing a good thing, though, and secretly reports the signal, officially making the Canterbury Legally Obligated™ to investigate.

He picks his away team (unknowingly also picking the people he's going to spend the rest of this show with) and takes a shuttle to investigate the drifting Scopuli, where they find everything shut down except for the beacon that brought them here. "Pirate bait", or so it seems.

Suddenly, McDowell advises the away team that a very scary ship has appeared out of nowhere and that they need to get the hell out of there. The gang gets back on the shuttle just in time for the mystery ship to fire not just regular torpedoes, but nuclear torpedoes at them. The torpedoes close to zero...and then continue streaking towards the Canterbury.

Holden tells McDowell to eject the space ice to form a protective barrier, but he refuses, apparently willing to die rather than lose his payday. The payday (and everything else aboard) is lost anyway, however, as the Canterbury erupts into the most beautiful supernova I've ever seen.

"She's gone. They nuked her. She's gone."

-----------------------------------

My thoughts

So this is where I actually have to do the analysis thing. Since the beginning of this show is split into three primary subplots that all deal with a different piece of the Julie puzzle (a narrative device that I fucking love, by the way), I'll divide things up by talking about each one individually because that just makes sense.

Before I do that though, I just want to briefly say that that opening scene with Julie on the Scopuli is just the perfect opening to this show. It immediately gives us a very brief glimpse inside the puzzle box that our main cast is going to spend all of this season (and most of this show) trying to open. It's quick, it's tense, it's completely terrifying, and it's unforgettable if you've seen it.

------------------------------------

Miller on Ceres:

And we follow up that perfect opening scene with a perfect choice for which of these three main threads to start with. The thing that's great about dividing up the characters like this is that each of them only has a piece of what's going on with Julie and the Scopuli, but no one has the full picture. Miller, though, gets the most information off the bat and is the only person in the main cast who's looking for Julie specifically, so it's only natural that we should start with him.

His story is also the inspiration for the title of this episode, "Dulcinea". For those of you who aren't big Don Quixote fans, it's a reference to Quixote's fantasy lover that he invents because he styles himself as a knight and, of course, every knight needs his damsel. He describes her in excruciating detail; she's royalty in a far-off land who is the epitome of feminine beauty, the ideal of Womanhood Incarnate--or his vision of it at least.

And the deeper Miller goes in his investigation, the more quixotic he gets with his idea of who Julie is. He's never met or spoken to Julie, but as he unravels her activities prior to departing on the Scopuli, he becomes increasingly obsessed with her, imagining what kind of a person she must be, picking apart every little detail and transposing it onto his vision of what her life must be like. I'm sure he would call it "being a good detective", but it's much more than that to him.

Throughout Miller's jaunt around town with Havelock, they banter back and forth, and through their conversations, we get a great sense of their personalities. Whereas Miller is the grizzled veteran who's had his morality thoroughly beaten out of him, Havelock is a by-the-book rookie cop who seems genuinely interested in learning about Belters, if only so that he can police them more effectively.

It's a very tried-and-true buddy cop pairing, but it works really well here. Havelock gets to be our audience surrogate for this story as we learn more about how Ceres and Belters operate.

This thread has the biggest worldbuilding burden out of the three and it pulls it off so well. We get so much about life in the Belt, the politics of the Solar System, the Outer Planets Alliance, or OPA (who will definitely be showing up later), and the logistics of maintaining a huge population of humans on a space station. And none of it feels clunky or awkward in the slightest. It's exactly the style of worldbuilding I loved in "The Emissary" from Deep Space Nine.

Ceres itself also has huge DS9 vibes, and not in a good way. The set design team did such a good job making this place look old, weathered, and completely falling apart. Except, of course, for the nice apartment buildings where the cops, off-worlders, and everyone else rich enough to ignore the seedy underbelly get to live.

There are a ton of fantastic, evocative lines in this arc, but I think my favorite is Miller's deadpan proclamation that "There are no laws on Ceres, just cops." A perfect summary of everything we see on screen about how power is wielded in this place.

-------------------------------------

Chrisjen on Earth:

This is the shortest thread where the least happens, but it will grow into one of my favorites. We don't get too much additional insight into what's going on, but we do get two important things: 1) Chrisjen Avasarala is a stone-cold bitch who thinks the OPA are terrorists, and 2) the OPA are apparently trying to get their hands on illegal stealth technology, which doesn't help with the whole "terrorism" thing.

This links up to both Miller's and Holden's subplots: we know about the OPA from Miller, and the ship that eventually blows up the Cant was using Martian stealth tech. Of course, since Holden and crew have no idea about the OPA, they immediately start thinking that Mars is out to get them, which will continue to play into the story going forward.

!-- TW: DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE --!

Also important to note is that Chrisjen is getting this information through the most brutal torture I've seen on TV in a long time: forcing a Belter whose body can't handle Earth's gravity to stand for hours on end by holding him up with hooks under his arms. After Chrisjen goes on and on about his "weak Belter lungs and brittle Belter bones", she coldly turns around and tells them to hold him up for another 10 hours. "If he survives, call me."

!-- TW ENDS --!

Fucking ghoulish, and definitely not a good look for Madam Undersecretary's first appearance. You're gonna have to trust me now when I say that she becomes one of my favorite characters in the main cast. This is about as bad as she gets, but she continues being manipulative and cold-blooded for most of this show. That's just who she is. To me, it's part of what makes this subplot of scheming at the UN so engaging.

We'll be seeing a lot more of Chrisjen going forward, and she'll get much better. At the very least, she will stop torturing this guy. But only because someone will tell her not to.

-----------------------------------

Holden on the Canterbury:

If Miller's story shows us life in the Belt and Chrisjen's shows us the politics of the Solar System, Holden's thread is all about life onboard a spaceship, which is important because we're going to be spending a lot of time on spaceships. This is also the part of the episode that has the most CG and honestly it holds up really really well. I know it's less than a decade old and they probably got a lot of money for the pilot but still! It looks great!

I'll drop a brief shoutout here as well for the ship designs in this show. They knocked it out of the goddamn park with the Cant's design: it's a big, boxy, dull gray, ugly thing that looks designed to haul ice and do literally nothing else. Everything is so practical and, above all else, plausible. They look like humans from the near future built them and that's the highest compliment I can give them.

There are shades of the first act of "Alien" here as we are essentially dropped into the Cant in the middle of its mission and get to see the camaraderie and hierarchy between all the members of the crew. We also get to know more about Holden, and immediately he begins showing us his defining character trait: he wields a lot of authority and respect, but he hates being in charge.

We see this in the very first scene onboard the Cant when one of the ice haulers, Paj, gets his arm severed while working outside the ship. He seems completely unfazed by this, though, since the company will send him a prosthetic and he's been working for them long enough to get a really good one.

Not only does this happen often enough that the company just buys prosthetics as a cost of doing business, there are literally tiers of coverage depending on years of service. What an optimistic future this is turning out to be.

Paj pleads with Holden to make sure the company doesn't send him a "used" arm (a frightening thought), to which Holden replies with something that he will continue to say, in so many words, over and over: "I'm just another clock-puncher like you." Holden knows he has authority on the Cant, but all he wants to be is a clock-puncher, which he makes very clear to pretty much everyone he talks to, including Captain McDowell when he essentially forces the XO job onto him.

Later on, we get our first glimpse at Holden's other primary personality trait, that being that he is The Main Character and therefore the most kind-hearted soul that can exist in this cold, selfish world. He logs the distress signal they received from the Scopuli, thereby ensuring that they'll have to divert from Ceres (and lose their on-time bonus) in order to investigate.

He shares this privately with Chief Engineer Naomi Nagata before the shuttle mission, to which her only reply is to tell him to keep that to himself. Fair play, considering she was just talking about how she wanted to strangle the little fucking do-gooder before she realized it was her new XO. Excuse me, Acting XO.

Before the shuttle launch, we're briefly introduced to the rest of the away team: the aforementioned Naomi; her mechanic Amos Burton, whose defining character trait is doing whatever Naomi tells him to do; ship's pilot Alex Kamal, who we previously saw being an annoying blabbermouth on the Cant; and Med-Tech Shed Garvey, who sewed up Paj's arm and wants everyone to know that he does not want to be here. Yes, his first name really is Shed.

Most of this part of the episode is setting up what'll happen next so we don't get a lot of time with any of these guys, but we'll have time for some great character work in the coming episodes.

----------------------------------

And that said, what a great setup for what comes next! Nearly all of the people we just got to know on the Cant are vaporized by a mysterious ship, there's a cloud of space debris hurtling toward Holden's little shuttle, and we have a hell of a puzzle box to dig into. Did Mars blow up the Cant? Did the OPA? Why would either of them want to? What does it all have to do with Julie and the Scopuli? And what the hell was that fucking space goo??

Despite covering so much ground in this pilot, The Expanse makes it very clear that we've barely scratched the surface. And even though I've already seen this whole show and know where it's going, it took everything I had to not hit the "next episode" button.

I will be doing that very soon though because I had a blast writing this up and I definitely want to keep doing it! Apologies that this one ran so long -- I assumed I was going to write a lot with this being the first episode and everything but I had so many thoughts that didn't make it into this post. I'm sure I'll be refining the format as we go along as well.

If you read all the way to here, I'm genuinely flattered and I hope you have a wonderful day.

~ Kady <3

[heyclickadee]

Tech's Alive, Part Four: Placement and Structural Purpose (okay, so this is waaaaaay more rambly and nonsensical than I thought it would be, but, here ya go)

So, the placement of Tech's fall in “Plan 99”is...weird. It happens around 6:30 into the episode, and given that the logos and title card take about forty seconds to get through, that means it happens less than six minutes into the action. And it would be one thing if the rest of the episode was dedicated to the other characters processing their grief or dealing with the aftermath, sort of like if Kanan had died in the first few minutes of "Dume" instead of the last few of "Jedi Knight" and then the rest of "Dume" proceeded exactly the same, but that's so completely not what happens.

Do we get small moments of everyone grieving? Sure, we get those shots of Wrecker looking broken(1) and wiping away tears, Hunter's face when he tells Omega the news and again when he picks up the goggles, Omega's disbelief, and Echo sitting by himself in the marauder looking at that empty pilot's seat(2), but these are all just snapshots. The episode acknowledges their grief, but doesn't allow them to process it, because "Plan 99" is packed and they don't have time. Not thirty seconds after Tech falls, the train crashes, Omega almost dies, the gang goes back to Ord Mantell, Omega's thankfully okay, Hunter and Wrecker , Cid rats them out, Hemlock shows up, Omega gets captured, the marauder's practically empty now and Hunter's out for blood, Omega's reuinited with Crosshair, who's still unconscious on a slab, Emerie's Omega's "sister," cats and dogs are living together, mass hysteria—

It's. A lot.

And that's, again, weird. That's not typically how main (or main secondary, I sort of consider the bad batchers all mains) character deaths in genre fiction work.

See, typically, unless the whole story is about the mystery of why a character may have died, a main character deaths happen towards the end of an episode or chapter, and they usually function as either a conclusion or emotional climax to whatever story they're in. Take, for example, Fives's death. Fives dies at the conclusion of a multi-episode narrative arc, and his death functions as both the conclusion and emotional climax of that arc. Or Thorin’s death towards the end of The Hobbit. Or Richardson's implied imminent death at the end of "Underbridge." Main character deaths are exclamation points, or full stops at the very least, before things continue.

Tech's “death” doesn't work like that.

Despite following up on some ealier foreshadowing leading up to the team having to adapt to things without Tech, and despite following up on the repeated thread of Tech loving his family so much he'll sacrifice himself for them at the drop of a hat(3), Tech's “death” concludes nothing. Not in the episode, and certainly not in the overarching story. Far from being a natural ending to either his own character arc or a larger narrative thread, Tech falling figuratively and literally throws everything off the rails. The whole thing the narrative was driving towards—the reunion of the clone force 99 family and these clones being able to choose a purpose besides the “fighting and dying and being lab experiments” they were manufactured with—breaks down. It happens early and then the episode keeps driving and just doesn't stop.

In fact, not only is Tech's fall NOT the only dramatic thing to happen in the episode, it's not even the emotional climax of the episode. Omega getting taken by Hemlock is. Even the soundtrack suggests this. The theme which plays during Tech's sacrifice is the same theme that plays when Omega is taken, and that theme has even more tension and drama in it when played that second time. Her getting taken, and that moment of Hunter running out to the edge of the platform only to have to helplessly watch as Hemlock's ship looms out of reach and take his daughter away—that's the emotional climax(4).

Furthermore, Tech's "death" isn't a rallying cry for the team to rally and get revenge like main character deaths in genre fiction typically are. Instead, it's one loss too many. It's the thing that makes Hunter and Wrecker want to take Omega back to Pabu and just never leave again, because they can't take risking anything else like losing Tech. It's the thing that makes them want to throw in the towel for good.  

So, if Tech, who's one of the six main characters of this series and was more or less the lead along with Omega this season, had a death scene, and his death scene doesn't serve as a conclusion to either his or any other arc, if it isn't the emotional climax of the episode, and if it isn't a rallying cry the team can get behind, then what purpose does it serve in the structure of the episode? To be completely honest, the closest thing that I could come up with is that it's either the catalyst or the inciting incident, because Tech falling is the thing that makes everything else in the episode happen.

At the start of the episode, the train car is stalled and without power. Tech restores power to the car, but it’s being pulled away from the track and still can’t move. Tech cutting the connection and allowing himself to fall is what allows the train to start moving again—but it's moving too fast. It derails and crashes through the barrier on the other side. And the train crashing is how Omega gets hurt, Omega getting hurt is what necessitates them having to go back to Ord Mantell, going back to Ord Mantell is what allows Cid to rat them out, Cid ratting them out is what gets Hemlock to show up and take Wrecker and Hunter prisoner, Wrecker and Hunter being taken prisoner (and Omega being griefstricken about losing Tech) is what causes Omega to disobey orders and go back for Wrecker and Hunter instead of leaving with Echo, which is what leads to Omega getting captured, which leaves Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo doubly bereft by the end of the episode. What I'm saying is, the train is an intentional stand-in for the narrative here, and Tech falling is what allows it to move forward, but in such a way that everything it was building towards is completely broken derailed.

And, again, this is weird, especially if this is supposed to be a genuine character death, because it’s not about the death—it’s about what Tech letting himself fall puts into motion. And so little of the focus of the episode is on the “death” itself, because there's so little time in the episode, and what little there is is less on Tech dying (because sure as hell don’t see it happen) and more on the other characters grieving or being manipulated by it in the very little time that they're allowed because, again, things are moving too fast and they're not allowed to really stop and process anything.

Now, there is actually a main character death in The Clone Wars that works pretty much the same way, and which is actually similarly placed towards the beginning of an episode, and that's the "death" of Obi Wan Kenobi in "Deception." Granted, we know that Obi Wan's fine, because it's Obi Wan and he has to show up in A New Hope or at least Revenge of the Sith (though it's possible some of the kids who had never seen either movie didn't know that), and even if we didn't know that, we find out it's a fake out almost right away because we continue following Obi Wan's perspective in a way we don't continue to follow Tech's. Tech falls into the mist and then we're back with Omega and the rest on the train and hurtling towards a broken future. But Obi Wan's fake death does function in a similar sort of "get things moving/flips the domino to get other things happening" sort of way.

Now all this, despite the closest structural parallel I could find in star wars being a fake-out death, isn't proof that Tech falling is a fake out. But it is worth noting that the supposed "death" here isn't placed like a normal main character death and doesn't serve anything close to the same purpose a main character death typically does. And that is probably why, as @cross-my-heartt pointed out in this excellent post, it doesn't really read as a character death to anyone who isn't either heavily invested in the story or the character (hello there) or who isn't an edgelordy dudebro who thinks it has to stick so that there are "stakes" (get off my lawn). And while I don't think The Bad Batch is a perfectly written show, I do think that it is very well written overall, and written thoughtfully and deliberately, at the least. What's happening here is very much on purpose. It’s just a question of what that purpose is.

(1) Jennifer, ma’am, I don't know what I have to do to make sure I never have to see Wrecker's face crumpled in despair like that ever again, but I'll do it. Let him be happy.

(2) *sobbing*

(3) I have so much to say about the foreshadowing and how it points to Tech’s absence and selflessness but absolutely not to his death I am gnawing on the foreshadowing here

(4) And this might have to be one point where I have to admit that the writers did err, just a little. Not necessarily in the writing, pacing, or in the placement of Tech's fall, because if this really is a fakeout, then all of that was brilliantly done. The episode doesn’t feel rushed to me the second time around, because I know what happens and I can breath. Less so the third. But I think they may have slightly underestimated just how attached some of us are to this particular character. I mean...okay, I get the impression that the people working on this show love every one of these characters as much as we do. I really do. Are they going to put these characters through hell? Well, yeah, because otherwise we wouldn't have a story, but I get the genuine impression that they really love these characters. But working with characters in a story is about three-quarters knowing and loving (or hating) the characters and having them bounce around and do their thing as though they are real people who live somewhere outside of your head, and one-quarter having to maintain enough of a level head about them that you can use them as tools to tell your story. And that last quarter can add a little bit of...not emotional distance, but something like emotional distance, especially if you, the writer, know that the character is going to be okay in the end no matter what it is you're putting them through in the moment. You, as a storyteller, have an assurance that your audience doesn't. Because when I saw Tech fall the first time, my whole heart shut off and I couldn’t access my emotions for about three days. It wasn’t until I watched it the second time that I realized that it wasn’t the emotional climax of the episode.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 27

Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things

"Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I have not opened myself up to potentially experience this level of heartbreak in a long long time (not romantically anyway). So I'm good, baybeeeee

I really hope Neil isn't looking for anything beyond friendship right now from her. Like, it's one thing to provide a friend with chocolate and beer and the right music for their mood when they...have broken up with their partner? are fighting with their partner? But istg if I hear the term "friendzone" in this episode, I'll scream.

PINK MOTOROLA RAZR HELL YEAH! Aw, poor girl. Though there doesn't seem to be anything supernatural about her death on the surface

It's weird seeing Sam be sentimental about the mom he never really got to know and the dad he spent his whole life fighting with, but grief works in weird and mysterious ways

What is going ON in this cemetery?? Unholy ground, apparently

Man, if the the Winchester boys could stop vagueblogging each other during this in person conversation with the victim's dad, that would be cool

That plant said "this guy's vibes suck" OH SHIT OH SHIIIIIIIT Dude got got by his girlfriend's ghost. And I'm not mad at her

Jesnsen makes the best facial expressions. When he's lying as Dean, it's just....perfection

What. the. fuck. Is...did the dad do some kind of...magic to bring back his daughter? But, wonderfully, she came back wrong??

Dean bringing up pop culture references during a monologue in a fit of rage shouldn't make me chuckle, but it did

Oh, this guy is worse than any "friendzoned nice guy." HE must have brought her back and has been keeping her in a sweet, pristine white dress IN HIS BASEMENT (though i guess SOMETIMES she's allowed to come to the first floor). Man...fuck this guy.

"NEIL! It's your grief counselors! We've..come to hug!" Probably one of Dean's worst lies so far

Coming to the conclusions the boys do BEFORE they do (because I understand basic story telling) maks me feel good. I realized the roommate slept with our zombie girl's boyfriend like 15 minutes ago. Because the only real characters were: Angela, Neil, Angela's dad, Angela's boyfriend, and Angela's (female) roommate.

Also how would you explain your dead-from-a-car-crash roommate being found in your living room with scissors stabbed through her heart days after her burial? You know, if that had actually worked

"How are we gonna get Angela back to the cemetery?" Please tell me you're lightly kidnapping Neil to make this work...or maybe the roommate? Neil it is!

I'm so glad you're scared of your zombie girlfriend, Neil. You should be. Yeah, you bring a girl back from the dead to play house with you, you don't get to leave her like that, NEIL

I feel like this isn't the first time recently that Dean's said "What's dead should stay dead." And I'm curious how that's gonna come back this season. (It's gonna be so difficult to not spoil myself.)

It's not your FAULT Dean. John made his own choices, and I wish you could know that right now.

I didn't think we'd get follow up on "what's dead should stay dead" THIS immediately, but maybe I'm giving the writers too much credit. "I was dead and I should have stayed dead," but you weren't fully dead. You were MOSTLY DEAD. And MOSTLY dead is SLIGHTLY alive! Or have you not watched The Princess Bride in fear that it was a kissing movie.

"Been On My Mind..." Everyone else's lives were too messy for the Winchesters to be getting entangled with anyone, plus they're still too busy fighting every other second over who is handling John's death worse (it's Dean.)

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 16

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The sun glared through the thin sheet of the tent, making your listless self stir beneath the blankets draped over your naked body. Cautious not to wake Bucky, who had his arms wrapped around you, you carefully buried your face deeper in his neck but he wasn't that much of a deep sleeper as you thought he would be.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." He said, pulling you closer.

"G'morning." You replied, smiling against his skin. "Have you been awake this whole time?"

"Yes. I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful sleeping."

"Someone tired me out last night."

Bucky chuckled, sending a low vibration on top of your head. "Hmm, how was he?"

"He's pretty good in bed." You chuckled. "But pretty creepy when he refers to himself in the third person."

You stayed right there for another hour — in each other's embrace, in heat, in thin sheets, in profound silence, still taking pleasure in the afterglow of what had transpired last night: the intimacy in each other's skin, of each other's mouths, of each other's everything. A kind of intimacy you never dared share with anyone, not even with your serious ex-boyfriend.

Before the both of you got up and headed down the fire escape and then to the apartment, you had looked at him one last time and asked yourself the same question you had asked Bucky the first time you were here on the rooftop:

"Have you ever felt that kind of feeling?" You asked.

"What feeling?"

"The afterglow feeling."

Was this the kind of afterglow you sought after?

You shook your head, suddenly feeling ridiculous. Perhaps it was the sex; just that. The most amazing, mindblowing sex I ever had in my life, you thought. The more you described it that way while descending down the stairs and entering the apartment through the window (while wearing Bucky's shirt which looked huge on you, by the way), the more you believed it was just because of that. Besides, it was something that had given you sweet, sweet pleasure, something that made me feel like you were high on drugs, something that made you feel alive, something that made you feel things you didn't even know you could — the after of it all, of course, was worth so much more.

You both went straight to the bathroom to wash your faces and brush your teeth as soon as you got in. Of course, you took way more time than he did. He soon went to the kitchen to prep breakfast. You approached him afterwards, his bare back exposed to you while cracking some eggs into a bowl.

Without any hesitation at all, you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. You caught a whiff of his scent, even though he reeked of sex, the vanilla-lavender hint never faded.

"Whatcha cookin', good-lookin'?" You asked, taking a peek on the table.

"I was thinking of making you Japanese omelettes today." He stopped whipping for a second to face you. He placed a finger on your chin, tilting it upwards, and proceeded to kiss me.

"Have I told you you have the softest lips?" He whispered after.

"Yes, you did." You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. "And you kept reminding me last night."

"Good. You should be reminded of all the beautiful things you possess." He rested his hands on your hips. You wanted to shy away from the mention of the word beautiful but you didn't.

You have always received compliments, yes, but you never learned how to respond to them unless they tell you how to: "Oh for god's sake, just say thank you." Most people compliment you just because they have to, because social convention dictates them to (especially when you're at a party). Some, perhaps only five percent, genuinely compliment you.

But the spontaneity of last night — all the compliments Bucky kept giving you, all the "beautiful" being said over and over and over, were playing in your head like a broken record. Even after he saw all the folds, the rolls, stretch marks, scars, and acne marks.

It wasn't just that. He admired every single one of your photos down at the bar, photos you worked hard for, photos people kept neglecting. He talked about them like how you imagined someone actually talking about them. He talked to you about the beauty of art like how you wanted to talk to someone about it (Weirdly so, you picked friends you had nothing in common with: Nat just wanted to gossip, Steve preferred to be mysterious, Peter was all about business, Wanda was the one person you could talk to about these but you chose not to anymore, and Nick... was just Nick). It was like reading each other's minds.

You treated each as a compliment.

The five percent you were talking about? Bucky was it.

He pulled you out of your thoughts by sliding his hands to your ass, squeezing the cheeks for a bit, then placing them on the back of your thighs. You smiled then jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist. He placed you on top of the counter next to all the ingredients he had prepared.

He grabbed your face and continued to make-out, leaving the eggs on the bowl raw and unwhisked.

"You should," you said in between kisses, "go back to cooking. I'm starving."

"Y'know, you could just eat me."

"Sorry, I want cooked eggs."

He pulled away from, yet his hands stayed on your waist. With a cute pout on his face, he said: "Mean."

You broke into laughter after that and you watched him cook this Japanese omelette he kept talking about.

"I would make you the most amazing Japanese omelette — and the most complicated one, by the way. It took me months to perfect that — but I'm too lazy to prepare the rice." He chuckled, grabbing an apron. "So, I'm just going to make you the normal one. It's called Tamagoyaki."

"Hmm, interesting." You commented. "I just do mine sunny-side up. Crack an egg on a pan. That's it. It's an underrated hack, really."

He laughed. "It's a good thing I'm here then." He proceeded to heat the pan, and throw some butter on it once the heat was good enough.

"You told me you only know how to cook breakfast, right? Why is that?"

"The same reason why you cook your eggs sunny-side up."

"It's easy?"

"Not just easy." He replied. "It's the easiest of all meals! Toast, eggs, bagels, bacon — see, they're pretty easy."

You frowned, tilting your head. "You know, most times, you say the most profound things but you do say the weirdest, silliest things sometimes."

It was like two people were fighting against each other inside him: the child, and the man.

He laughed at your comment and said nothing further as he concentrated on cooking. You watched him move around the kitchen as the minutes passed by. And while you talked about the small things in life, you couldn't help but wonder how this Bucky, standing right in front of you, kissing you, holding you, was much more different — way more different than the Bucky you knew in Peter's stories.

The thing you liked about it though, was that both versions excited you. You longed for spontaneous adventures, ones that you’d keep forever, ones that would remind you of the days of your youth, ones you too stuck up to do, and you longed for conversations like this, and the ones you and Bucky have had before, conversations that made you see more of life's beauty and appreciate it.

That same afternoon, you spent it lying down on a couch in each other's arms, watching a movie he guilted you into watching: Roman Holiday. You made side commentaries while you watched, how lame the lines were, how cheesy they all sounded, but at the same time, amazed at how things have changed since then.

"Ugh, I love me a vespa." You said, watching the vespa speed away on the streets. "I would just love to ride around New York city in a vespa and just pull off some Roman Holiday in this bitch."

"I have to admit, that does look fun."

And somewhere halfway through the film, when Bucky was making small circles with his finger on your waist (igniting fire within you, and at the same time, making you weak on your knees), you ended up making out, grabbing and touching each other beneath your clothes, and taking them all off, sending them flying all over the living room floor, and repeating what you did last night — except it was in broad daylight and Bucky dominated over you, over and over and over, flesh on flesh. You kept screaming each other's names. He kept fucking you into oblivion, taming the mad woman in you.

You laid there on your back, pulling down his neck with your right hand, making your foreheads touch, locking your eyes together, telling him to go "faster, deeper", digging deep and scratching into his back with your nails, making him hiss out your name, and at the same time, crying out his name repeatedly like a chant, making you forget your own.

You felt the droplets of his sweat on your skin, mixed with your own. You watched him ravish you, watched the pleasure consume him wholly, and watched his eyes roll back as he came inside.

"I really can't get enough of you, babydoll." He growled, and kissed you one last time before you showered and headed down to work.

-

"You look different." Nat observed, sitting on one of the high stools across you. "Did you do something with your face?"

"No, I didn't." You grimaced, shaking your head.

"Then, why are you glowing?"

"Quit staring."

She chose not to listen to you and kept on following you with her eyes as you moved around the counter. "Oh my god, I know what it is — "

"Goddamn it, Nat — "

" — you had sex!"

She cackled, gesturing you towards the booth with a sharp tone: "Booth. Now."

You followed suit. It was crystal clear in that moment that you had no other choice, that she held the upper hand in this friendship. You were starting to think that perhaps this friendship you were pursuing with Nat was a mistake as she kept on berating you about the information she just acquired.

"There's no way in hell I'm telling you all about it." You huffed, sitting across from her.

"I'll tell you one thing, though," she said, "I'm a fucking prophet."

"Don't be such a smug bitch." You rolled your eyes. "No one likes a smug bitch."

"What did I tell you about this Bucky thing, huh?" She smirked, ignoring you. Again. "Come on, spill the beans! I wanna hear everything!"

You shook your head unamused. "Nope. No way."

She groaned. "Please? Nothing exciting is ever happening in this bar but now I have this! You!"

"How about you and Steve humping each other like bunnies?" You bit your inner cheeks to prevent your lips from smiling. "That's gotta be exciting."

"Let's not talk about me and Steve."

"So, it's okay if we talk about my sex life but not yours?"

"Exactly."

You frowned. "You're a weird friend."

"No." She leaned in. "I'm a miracle-worker that happens to be your new best friend, by the way — "

"Parker's my best friend — "

" — and you should at least thank me. I am more than welcome, by the way."

"Nat, if you don't stop I swear to God I'm gonna out you and Steve to the whole ass bar." You groaned, knocking your forehead against the table. Coincidentally, you could actually out them of the closet knowing they were actually doing it in one of the closets here in the bar (yes, you found a condom wrapper lying around one time. Knowing what had transpired in that small space, believe you me, you sprinted the fuck out of there).

"Ugh fine, fine." She said, making you stop banging your head and forcing you to look at her. "Just tell me this... Was it good?"

You rolled your eyes. "Fine, yes, it was good."

"Just good?"

You sighed in defeat, leaning back on the cushioned backrest of the booth. "It was the best I ever had." Nat bit her lip, hiding a squeal. "There. Ya happy?"

"Now, I'm curious! Please, y/n, you have to tell me. I gots to know! Okay, tell me, how big was he?"

"What?! No, I'm not gonna tell you that."

"Come on, I'll trade you Steve's."

"Ew, Nat! Gross!" You cringed. "I don't wanna know that!"

Then, she proceeded to move her hands in the opposite direction slowly, "tell me when to stop." You shook your head and just watched her in plain amusement as she continued to do it. Her jaw dropped. "Oh my god, this big? Seriously?"

"I'm not telling you anything."

"Come on, you told me about the time you kissed!"

"That's different." You scoffed. "This one's... intimate."

"Ooohhh, intimate. Well, I've never heard anyone describe sex that way."

"It was just different, okay? Good different." You replied. "And that's all I'm telling you."

She heaved a sigh, finally accepting the fact that you won't go anywhere past what you just told her. "Okay, at least you gave me something. Do you mind if I ask you something real, though? I swear this is the last time. It's not about sex, I promise."

Convinced, you nodded. "Go ahead."

"So, are you guys dating now? Or is it just, ya know, fooling around?"

You sat there, undoubtedly floored by the question. You had never even given it a thought. It never crossed your mind until Nat just made you realize the consequences of yesterday, last night and this afternoon, the inevitable. Were you dating? Will you ever talk about it? Is he even considering it? Or will you just continue to have sex without ever talking about dating?

"I, uh, I don't know. We didn't talk about it."

"Well, clearly there's gotta be something, right? That it's not just fooling around. I mean you said it was intimate, that it was good different — whatever that means." said Nat. "There's gotta be something deep?"

You looked at Natasha with astonishment, baffled by the things coming out of her mouth. Apparently,you were still on cloud nine to think about any kind of repercussion, to think about what could happen next to afterglow.

"I guess?"

"Do you like him?"

"Clearly, I do."

Unlike Nat, you were stunned by your answer. You answered that question faster than the speed of light.

She smirked at you in response. "You are so gonna fall in love."

"Shut your hole, Nat."

The door flew open suddenly, revealing Bucky and Sam, which got you up your feet. Instinctively and ignoring Nat, you approached him halfway and greeted him with a kiss which he gladly reciprocated, all the things you and Nat just talked about disappearing into this sweet, sweet kiss.

"Hey you." You breathed after pulling away from his lips.

"Hey, babydoll."

"Oh hey, Sam."

"Hey, babydoll." Sam mocked, a smirk playing on his lips. "That's a cute name. What is that? French?"

Bucky smacked his friend on the stomach, making Sam groan and glare at him. "So, it's not French?"

"Sam." Bucky warned which Sam only found funny.

Bucky kept his hand on your waist as you approached the booth, with Sam behind us. Nat, who was still sitting on the booth, cocked her head on the side and eyed Bucky up and down. "Bucky, Sam... This is Nat from the night before." You introduced them to each other before you made them sit in the booth.

"Do you boys want anything to drink?" Nat asked.

"We'll have scotch." Bucky replied, giving Nat a friendly smile. "On the rocks."

"Actually, I don't know how to make drinks, I just asked to be nice."

You rolled your eyes at Nat, laughing lightly. "Don't worry, I got them." You approached the counter and prepared the drinks while Nat followed your trail.

"Babydoll?" She asked. "Steve doesn't even have a nickname for me."

"Okay, I have to ask this since you already did it to me anyway." You said, pouring scotch on the glasses. "Are you and Steve dating? Or is it just, like you said, fooling around?"

"We're friends... with benefits."

"So, just fooling around then?" You asked.

"Yeah, you can put it that way."

"Aren't you worried he might want something more than that? Like a relationship? He does seem like a man who wants to settle, y'know."

"Aren't you worried your new boy toy might want something like that too?"

You fell silent just as you were about to finish the drinks. You weren't worried about that, no. You were worried about you, wanting something more, something you haven't had in a long time, something Bucky hasn't had.

"The chances of me and Steve getting even serious are very slim." She whispered. "But you and Bucky? Now, that's a big fat chance. It doesn't even matter how long you guys have known each other. If there's chemistry, then you can't do anything about it, and the way you described your whole thing with him? Babydoll," she smirked, proud of herself, "if that's not chemistry then I don't know what is."

"As far as I can remember, you're the one who told me to just 'go where the river takes you' and now you're confusing me with these things!" You hissed, looking over at the booth and making sure Bucky won't hear your little banter.

She rolled her eyes at you. "Okay, okay, okay... Allow me to paint you a picture, y/n."

"Paint me a picture — ?"

"Do you know where the river takes you? A waterfall." Nat cut youoff. "Now, right now, you're still on a boat, just gliding through the river, going where the flow takes you. Then some time now, you're gonna hit a fast stream until boom, waterfalls, and when you reach the top of the falls, inevitably, you're gonna fall... fall in love, that is, with the hunky rich man over there. See? Painting a picture. I can be smart too."

You kept Nat's words in the back of your mind until you gave Bucky and Sam their drinks, saving them for later. Nat had to go out for a while to smoke outside, leaving you, Sam and Bucky in the booth, discussing the project you had with Sam's line, updating you with all the dates and details. Seeing as you'll soon be leaving the bar by the end of the week, you offered to start first thing next week.

"But I could actually give you a little pitch presentation just before we start shooting," you added, "idea decks we can work with, like styles, and some mood boards that fit your whole apparel aesthetic. But first, I need to know your brand bible, like your target audience, the tone of your business — stuff like that — just so I can prepare for the presentation."

"Wow, you know a lot about the business industry." Sam replied, amused.

"I used to major in business and finance." You sighed. "It does come in handy with my photography."

Under the table, Bucky reached for your hand, interlacing your fingers together and squeezing your hand three times which elicited a smile.

"Oh, I can give you a tour!" Sam enthusiastically said. "We can go to the office and to some of the stores; maybe the one in Fifth Street. We've actually received the shipment for the new designs. We could discuss everything then. How does tomorrow sound? Bucky can come with ya."

"Tomorrow works, yes! Tomorrow's perfect." You agreed.

You broke out in a smile, leaning on Bucky's side who was more than glad to see you discussing with Sam about the project, squeezing you hand once more, three times.

"Then, it's settled!" Sam boomed. "Now, where's the toilet? I think I got a little too excited."

You threw you head back, laughing. "Right down the hall over there." You pointed.

As soon as Sam was gone, Bucky turned towards you and held your face with his hands, planting a soft kiss on your lips. "You sound so hot talking like that."

You chuckled, sliding closer towards him, your thighs brushing past each other. "You and your weird mind, Bucky I swear to God."

With his lips pressed on yours, you didn't even notice the door open, didn't even notice Steve walk in. You pulled away, hearing Steve clearing his throat. With your hands still on Bucky, you turned towards Steve, who was clearly entertained, and sent him a huge smile.

"H-hey, Rogers." You chuckled nervously. "You remember Bucky."

"Mr. Barnes." Steve nodded at Bucky.

"Mr. Rogers."

You frowned at their formal exchange. "Bucky's actually here with his friend, Sam Wilson. I'm starting a project with him for his business that'll start next week. We were just, uh, discussing the details."

"In his mouth?" Steve smirked.

"Steve." You hissed. "Not cool, man."

"So, where's this Sam Wilson?" Steve asked, looking to his right.

"On your left."

Steve turned around on his left at Sam's voice. Both men stared at each other for a while before introducing each other and shaking each other's hands. Weirded out, you turned to Bucky and asked if they knew each other, if the three of them knew each other (as you now remembered that time when Bucky and Steve met here in the bar).

Bucky shook his head no. "Maybe he's just one of those familiar faces you see on the street." He whispered, but as Steve went straight to his office, and as Sam got back in the booth, a weird tension surfaced that was cut off by Nat entering the bar, together with some customers who were more than happy to be the first ones here.

"That's my cue." You sighed, standing up and letting go of Bucky's hands before going to the counter and greeting the customers.

You felt your phone vibrate against your back pocket after a few seconds. You opened it, and on the screen was a message from Peter:

Sorry couldn't get to you sooner. Lost my charger on the way to the cabin! Schmidt didn't want me to borrow his until I did everything he told me to. Everything's great! I'll send you pictures when I can.

Hope Bucky's taking good care of you. Miss you, y/n. I'll see you in a few days!

Your fingers hovered on the screen as you glanced at Bucky who caught your eyes. He winked at you while taking a sip from his drink and licked his lip afterwards, eyeing you up and down.

Tell Schimdt I'll beat his ass when he comes back. See you in a few days, Parker!

A series of what happened between you and Bucky flashed in your mind, making you bite your lip.

And don't worry, Bucky's taking good care of me.

... such good care.

[alesreadings]

Crave by Tracy Wolff.

2.5 stars.

“There’s not much to be afraid of when you’ve already lost everything that matters.”

I'm warning you: if you haven't read the book and don't want any spoilers, don't read further, because my review is filled with spoilers and sarcasm. I am conflicted with this book. I hated it, it was cringey and the romance was ugh (but I shelved as romance, AND as "this shit has no romance"), the characters were stupid as fuck and the plot was not interesting but predictable, and the villain, oMG, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? However, it was fast paced. It took me a while because I was on a reading slump and having constant breakdowns, lol. Anyhow, it amazed me how quick I read this book and how fast many chapters went... Which is good, because my reading slump was stick to me, and I guess I gotta say thanks to this book ¿? Ok, let's start the review! Grace lost her parents due a mysterious accident (as your typical avergage normal YA girl) and she has no more family, except her uncle, who lives in Alaska and runs an Academy. So, Grace moves on to Alaska to live with him and her cousin, Macy. Everything is normal, until Grace realizes that something is not right. Surprise! Vampires, dragons, witches and shapeshifters are real! And she might be one of them! Plot: It was predictable as fuck. I could guess many things that were going to happen and I wasn't surprised. Also, there were many plotholes, that left me with many many many questions that were not answered in the entire book. Lia killing Grace's parents has no sense. I mean, beside of being senseless, it's stupid and has no point. No one could saw that coming (let me explain you why before you think "uhm, yeah, well, that's the point of a plot twist") because there was no hint that Lia had something to do with it. Lia is barely in the book, and appears only when it is convenient for Grace, not to give us hints that hello! she is the "villain". Lia being the villain is a crime. I'd rather be a good villain for this book. I mean, I get it, you want your "mate" *insert gags* back and you're suffering, but, sweetie, why you didn't kill Grace inmediately? It was ridiculous and lame. Why Grace was left alive? What specie does she belong? Is Hudson alive? Why is she a gargoyle now? Why we had Jaxon's pov? (I dind't read them all tho, lmao) What was the real purpose of Lia for wanting Grace, a simple human, to her sacrifice? Will Grace have some braincells in the second book? We'll never know. Also, I think everything goes really quick in the span of 2/3 weeks. And I mean it: everything. Characters: Oh, this one is gonna be amazing. Get ready. Grace: I always liked to think: "what would happen if I find out that vampires are real? how would I react?" and the answer it's totally the opposite to what Grace did. Grace isn't smart, let's face it. Any of the mc with vampires involved is it. They're more interested on the hot dark haired guy who's telling them to stay the fuck away from them because, they're dangerous. *stares at Edward Cullen* But, the girl is drooling for the vampire since the moment they make eye contact and then it's insta love. uGH. I mean, Jaxon is telling you to stay away from him, to scare you and in the first moment you're touching him because why not? he's hot and totally not like the other guys you've met before, and oh, also the scar that makes him look like a true fucking bad boy. Yeah, no thanks. For some reason, she's the one who summons problems and Jaxon is "saving" her. She's convinced to it and despite of what he's done, she thinks he's the good guy, the victim, the hero and the most powerful dude in the world. Ugh, ugh, ugh, cringe. What amazes me of Grace is the fact that she wasn't scared to see what Jaxon can do... Sweetie, are you ok? Anyone in their five senses would have left the dude when he warned the first time. Anyone. And you can think "if a guy like him told me to stay away from him, I wouldn't do it, because he's hot", yeah, but hE'S CREEPY AND A STALKER AND A MURDER, WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I can't blame Grace for all the shit going in her life tho. I feel pity for her tbh. The fact that she said "Jaxon was never

meant to be the hero of my story... because I was always meant to be the hero of his." killed me, but not in the good way. For some reason that is beyond of my comprehension, it's like Grace believes that she can fix Jaxon, that she can make him see that he's a "good guy" and that he doesn't have to carry the weight of the world. (what the actual hell??) Jaxon: The great, handsome, vicim, hero, powerful, hot and mysterious Jaxon Vega. He's a fucking dick. He's a stalker (in his chapters he clearly says it) and a prick. Oh my gods, I truly hate him. The only good with him is his taste in music (because it's written by a women), but the rest? ugh, he reminded me of the average vampires who think they're the heroes of the story and the world depends of them (Edward, Hawke, Rhys but he's a fae ik, and who knows who else, ewwww). He's disgusting in so many levels that I can't explain. I still wanna know something: what had to do Jaxon in Lia's plan to kill Grace? I know that boy ain't something good. My ace ass was cringing everytime he appeared in front of Grace and I was relieved when he was gone. I don't have much to say about him, beside that I don't like him and hIS ONLY EXISTENCE IS A FUCKING RED FLAG. My boy Flint deserved better tbh. I was most interested on him beING A FUCKING DRAGON, THAT'S AWESOME, that in Jaxon being a typical vampire. And I will never get tired of say that Flint is way fucking better than Jaxon. He's my boy, ok? ok. Macy was irrelevant, even tho I loved her a lot, even more than Grace. She deserved better and if she is not endgame with Flint, I'll riot. Romance. Nope. No. NO. nO. The fuck no. How you can fall in love with a guy you barely met 2/3 weeks ago? And even more, say that you love him. On the first day in Alaska, Jaxon warned Grace to stay away from him, and she touches him like they're something ??????? And on the third day, she's drooling at the sight of the guy because he "saved" her. Everything was so rushed and it was like it existed a "love triangle" bUT FLINT DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE LIKE JACOB IN TWILIGHT, LOL. We all know from the beginning that Jaxon (Edward) is gonna be the champ, the winner and the endgame. You can predict that from the beginning of the book. Also, MATES???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!?!??!?! This trope is so used and boring that makes me sick. I mean, please, give me something built from zero. Not the "they're meant to be and that's it. suck it" nOPE. Give me plot twists. Hype. Like with From Blood and Ash this book is so overhyped. I mean, I read it because I like vampires and the academy trope. But literally, many people told me "this book is everything" "you're gonna love it" "Jaxon is so wonderfu, sexy and you'll love it"... Yeah, well, you can see now how it went. This book isn't thaaaaaaat bad, but isn't good either. It's fast paced, yes, but not something that I would recommend. You know? I think age is hitting me like a bitch and saying that many of the YA vampire books are not my thing anymore, and I really love vampires, lol. ANYHOW. This is my opinion, I'm not saying that this is purely trash or something like that, and you know why? Because I'm gonna read the second book of this one to see if my boy Hudson still alive, yep.

[shittyfanfic]

I have a marvel request. If you don't mind, may I ask for a fic about Peter's twin who survived the blip, how they handled the five years without their twin? Maybe they're a hero? Any gender is good! And maybe a little reunion when everyone who was blipped returned between the twin and May and Peter?

GUYS THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST IM SO EXCITED

The Future’s Not Ours to See

Warnings: Angst, Crying

Word Count: 1,692

When the ship landed and you stood amongst what was left of the Avengers, you felt hopeful.

You felt a sense of hope that your dorky twin brother would come stumbling down the stairs and say something dumb like, “Star Wars made space seem less terrifying” and you would punch him in the arm for scaring you and hug him with all of your super strength.

So when Tony and a mysterious blue woman came trudging off the ship, you were beginning to feel that hope turn into horror and sadness.

When Tony told you and Steve that he had ‘lost the kid’, you fell to your knees.

You expected yourself to scream and cry, hell, everyone did, but you just sat there and stared at the grass wondering where you went wrong.

Tony hugged you on the ground and kept apologizing for what had happened, saying he would trade his life for Peter’s if he could.

You kept thinking that you would do the same.

***

After mourning for another hour or so, Steve picked you up and carried you inside, your legs not being able to hold you up at the moment. Normally you’d be flipping out and bragging to Peter about how Captain America is carrying you like a princess.

Now you felt like an empty paper lunch bag, tearing at the bottom from an invisible weight.

You sit in one of the chairs spread around the table, listening to Natasha explain how Thanos did what he said he would and watched as pictures of those who had vanished slowly fade in and out.

When Peter’s popped up, you buried your head in your hands and tried to keep quiet.

Everyone continued to talk about how to reverse everything. You wanted to joke about how no one has ever listened to Que Sera Sera, but that thought was crushed by the title wave of negative emotions in record time.

Even as the team planned and Tony blew up at Steve, you stared into space.

Everyone jokes that twins are a half of one another and that they complete each other. Sure, you and Peter fought sometimes and were mean to each other over things both big and small, but you honestly felt like you were only half alive. Your brother is gone.

What ever will be will be.

***

When the team returned with the news about Thanos and their backfired plan, you felt the same as you had when you found out Peter was initially gone.

You held no hope for the Avengers getting the stones and redoing what that psychopath had done.

Sometimes even the best have to lose.

You half expected them to try and think of something else to do. After all, they’re the Avengers and they don’t take no for an answer.

But it seemed like their journey through the stars had sucked all hope and emotion out of the group and left shells of people behind.

Everyone seemed to get the memo that what was happening was just how it was gonna be, some later than others, and one by one the once perky and hopeful bunch disbanded off to try and rebuild from the rubble or just wallow in it instead.

***

Aunt May had picked you up after you called from the compound. She was too choked up to respond, but you managed to hear that she was coming to bring you home.

“Oh my gosh!”

When she got out of the car, she left the door open and launched herself into you for the strongest hug she could muster. Everything that you needed to say and that she couldn’t convey was said through that embrace.

“Hey May,” you buried you head in the crook of her neck. “I’m home.”

*Five Years Later*

You had gone through all the emotions and processing you needed after what has now been labeled ‘The Blip’...almost. Only took half a decade.

You had gotten over the fact that you should’ve gone on that spaceship with Peter rather than sit on that dumb lamppost nearby and should’ve been on Titan with him instead of panicking on Earth.

In his absence, you became the new Spider-Man. You found an old suit of his, AI and everything, and did patrols like he did. You even knew his old routes and advice he’d given you when he would ramble after a night of crime stopping.

When you initially got your powers along with your twin, you didn’t want to have to use them because being a superhero and dealing with the responsibility that comes with it wasn’t something you wanted at the time. Maybe you’re doing it now to honor your brother. You don’t even know anymore.

You had to adjust to your powers as well as the webshooters and the suit as you had never used your abilities much before, save mundane tasks like getting a snack without getting caught by May.

Once you got the hang of it, you went around and tried to help. It was less action and more basic work like helping a family get food or getting a cat out of a tree.

Every time you donned that mask, you wore it with pride as well as a weight. You had to live up to Peter.

***

When you got called to the compound, you were confused to say the least. Mr. Stark, as you remembered Peter calling him, came to your apartment to let you know that they had a way to get everyone back.

At first, you laughed and offered him a cookie you had made, saying if he needed someone to talk to, you’d listen.

After realizing he wasn’t going through a rough patch, talking and running through logistics, you began to realize this was a chance that you couldn’t pass up.

You told May, and while she was against you going, she knew that you would be devastated if you didn’t.

So you and Mr. Stark arrived at the compound a few hours later and were met by a team of somewhat optimistic heroes.

***

You couldn’t breath.

You tried sucking in air but got dust instead. Your coughs echoed off the concrete.

The weight of the collapsed compound was crushing you down and you were afraid.

One minute you think all life has been restored and the next an alien ship is launching missiles at you.

You tried calling out, pushing yourself up and clawing at metal sheets, but nothing seemed to work.

Just as you were ready to accept that you would die here, Bruce came stomping over calling your name.

“I’m here! B-Bruce I’m here!”

He quickly ran to you and threw what was pinning you down off to the side like it weighed no more than a cardboard box.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You coughed and nodded as he helped you up.

You didn’t like what you saw.

The compound was leveled. The once lush, green surrounding area was scorched with dust covering the sun and sky. Trees burnt black had flickers of orange embers and craters splotched the land.

You could hear yelling through the comms but couldn’t listen as you took in the sight around you.

Bruce quickly picked you up with his good hand and set you on his shoulder.

“Hang on kid!”

He raced over to where Cap said he was fighting.

Seeing him fight Thanos by himself was terrifying. Seeing him wielding Thor’s mighty hammer quelled the fear a bit, but you were still afraid for him.

You attempted to jump off of the giant green man’s shoulder only for him to pull you back and shake his head with a scared look.

“Bruce I can’t sit here while he fights an all powerful titan by himself!” You try fighting his grip again.

“Kid, running in there is suicide.”

“So is fighting Thanos alon-”

A loud roar rang through the sky as creatures began appearing. An army rallied behind Thanos. Hundreds upon hundreds of aliens lined behind him, each willing to die for his insane cause.

Before them stood one man, tightening a broken shield on his arm, ready to fight.

***

The portals had opened, so many ready to engage in a fight that would determine the fate of all life, and the battle began at Steve’s battle cry.

Chaos erupted as the two sides clashed. You webbed up as many mindless space gremlins and activated instant kill for the first time, piercing several of the creatures through the heart before repeating, all while looking around in amazement at the array of allies around you.

Pegasi flying across the sky, magic shields being placed in front of people, aliens and creatures you’d never even seen.

He would love this.

***

When you saw Peter land with the glove and Captain Marvel take off with it, you sprinted to him and skid on your knees in front of him.

“Peter?”

He had blood on his face, covered in dirt and sweat with messy hair and a terrified expression and you made sure to commit every detail and curve to memory.

“H-Hey. Long time no-”

You slammed into him and began to cry into his shoulder. Nothings else mattered except that your brother was in your arms and he was safe.

“If y-you ever pull anything like this again, I will melt your legos into a sword and stab you.” Your voice trembled with sobs.

“I missed you too.”

You both laughed and cried as you clung to each other for dear life.

***

After the battle, you took Peter back to May and watched as she crushed Peter in her arms and refused to let go.

She eventually grabbed you and smushed you into the hug as well, keeping her family in her arms and not daring to waste a second.

You all attended Tony’s funeral. Both you and Peter were trying to keep it together and failing miserably.

Once the service concluded, you all went back to the apartment and laid on the floor. No one said anything because no one had to.

You were back together and that needed no words.

[fateother]

#06: Poison Heart Part 6

”Uhm...” Charlie looked at the old house in front of her. Helenah had taken her to the outskirts of Rosebridge after having showed up at Charlie's house and offering an alliance between the two Masters. Charlie had agreed, and now stood in front of the abandoned building. Rider and Caster were there as well, but Caster was hiding in spirit form. Rider was wearing Charlie's mother's clothes, and had told Charlie that due to Charlie's novice level as a magus, Rider was unable to enter spirit form. ”So why are we here...?” ”Caster traced and calculated the source of the second arrow to be around this area. If that is the case, then this would be the place.” Helenah shrugged. ”This is the only building in the area, so it's either here our out in the woods. If we investigate this building first, we can move on to the woods.” Rider coughed. ”So we are here to take out Archer, then?” Helenah looked at Rider. ”Perhaps.” ”Perhaps?” ”They're trying to conceal their presence, but they're inside. Likely Archer and their Master.” It was Caster's voice. ”Please give me a moment.” Charlie stood quiet for a few seconds before speaking. ”Ehr... so what are we doing?” Helenah looked at her. ”Waiting.” And wait, they did. After about five or ten minutes, Charlie heard Caster's voice again. ”We can come in.” Helenah gave Caster a ''Thank you'' and made her way to the front door, Rider following and Charlie hurrying to keep up. Charlie coughed as she entered the dusty old house. It was, in every sense, run down and abandoned, and it looked as if no one had lived in it for at least 10 years. ”Upstairs,” Caster directed, and the group carefully made their way up the creaky old stairs. By Caster's directions, they navigated the hallway on the second floor, ultimately standing in front of a door. Helenah knocked. ”Enter.” Helenah swung the door open and took a step inside. Charlie peeked out from behind her back, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark room. It looked sightly less abandoned, and it was clear that someone had made it their home. The old couch had a blanket draped over it, and various pieces of junk probably salvaged from trash cans and such were gathered in a pile in one corner. The most noticeable thing was the man standing in the room, though. He was over two meters in height, dressed in animal pelts and wearing a stag mask. The upper part of the mask was part of a stag's skull – antlers and everything. An owl was perched on top of his head, staring intently at the visitors. ”Come in.” From behind the man emerged a boy who seemed to be around Charlie's age, probably no older than eighteen at most. He was dressed in rags and wore a slightly too big old hat. Charlie realized it was he that had told them to enter. She followed Helenah and Rider into the room. The tall man's face was obscured by his mask, but it seemed almost as if he was studying Rider. The young man spoke. ”Your Servant told me you were looking for an alliance.” Helenah nodded. ”That is correct, yes.” The young man seemed to think for a while, then spoke again. ”Sure. But on one condition.” ”And that is?” This time it was Rider who spoke, in a commanding tone. That was when Charlie noticed that Rider was now wearing her robe again – she had been to busy worrying about herself that she hadn't noticed until then. ”There is someone I have to kill. That's why I entered the Holy Grail War.” ”So you're not interested in winning?” Helenah seemed surprised. ”No,” the young man glanced at his Servant, ”but I'm going to. It wouldn't be fair to my Servant if I didn't see it through.” ”So you want to kill this person yourself, I take it?” ”Yes. Her name is Gertrude Claimthorn, and should be a participant of this Holy Grail War.” ”Claimthorn... that is the name of a powerful family of magi. Yes, I would be surprised if they weren't participating in the war.” Rider looked at Helenah. ”So it's an heir?” ”No. Gertrude Claimthorn is the matriarch of the family.” The young man spit on the floor. ”She's an old hag, that's what she is.” ”That, too. My name is Helenah Kendall, the Master of Caster.” Caster manifested next to Helenah, and bowed slightly. ”I'm Gerard. Just... Gerard. And this big guy here is Archer.” Archer grunted, and Charlie shuddered. What a big spooky guy. She then realized that all eyes were on her. ”E-ehr...! I-I'm Charlie Fairsworth, and uhm, this is Rider...” ”Archer, Caster, and Rider...” Gerard said, deep in thought. ”Three Servants on the same team is amazing enough, as long as the remaining four don't team up. Plus, Archer is one of the knight classes, and Caster will do good with his magecraft.” ”And?” Rider didn't sound happy. ”And I guess Rider is good for front-line fighting.” Rider sighed, and Charlie couldn't help but to giggle. -TEN YEARS AGO- Jenna Kendall, eight years old. She was standing in the study of her grandfather Ulric Kendall’s associate, said grandfather and associate in the room with her. The two old men were having a discussion about something Jenna didn't fully understand. She knew that it was important, and that her family had been preparing for it for a long time. Something that was full of holes? She quietly snuck out of the room, carefully closing the door behind her to not disturb the people inside. She plopped down on a couch near the room, and looked out at the cloudless sky through the window. It was already noon. Another person sat down next to her. It was a man that Jenna had been told was helping her grandfather with something important, and her older sister Helenah had told her he was a familiar. Jenna didn't think too much about it, but knew she would probably have to learn more about it in the future - Helenah had been unable to use magecraft since birth, leaving Jenna the role to inherit the role of family head. The man had a stubbly face, and looked at Jenna with a kind smile. ”Jenna, are you getting bored?” ”Not really. I think it's interesting following grandpa around, but I don't understand everything yet, so I would just get in the way.” The man ruffled Jenna's hair and chuckled. ”Really?” ”What about you, Armstrong? Don't you get bored following grandpa around?” ”Not really. I was summoned so me and your grandfather could help each other out, since we want the same thing. And hey, I thought I told you to not call me Armstrong. It's Rider to you.” ”Hehe... It's your own fault for telling me your name.” Rider sighed, but didn't seem to be mad at the little girl. And it was true, what Jenna had said – ever since she overheard that Rider was just a classification, she had been bothering the man over and over until he finally gave in, on the condition of not using the name. Something about Rider made Jenna calm. Perhaps it was because he looked like he would be as old as Jenna's father if he had still been alive, or that he was generally a nice person - but either way, Jenna liked being around him. She knew that he wouldn't be around forever, but had decided to not think about it. She wasn't a fan of sad things. ------- The same night. The fire had engulfed the Kendall manor completely, and Jenna lay on the grass in front of it. She could barely hold her tears back – somewhere in the burning inferno was her grandfather. Her sister was away for the night, so it had just been Jenna and Ulric Kendall at home. Jenna was in a state of shock. She remembered fire, someone in the room with her grandfather, her grandfather telling Jenna to run, Jenna running, and someone chasing her. Then, she was out on the grass a bit away from the burning hell that up until tonight had been her home. The sound of footsteps in the grass made Jenna look up. It was Rider, covered in bruises. His clothes were stained red and burned, and he held his left side where Jenna could make out the biggest red stain of them all. ”Rid-” Jenna didn't have time to finish calling his name, because he was already down on the ground with her, holding her close. ”It's okay,” he murmured, ”It's okay.” That's when Jenna burst. Tears welled from her eyes, and she could do nothing but cry. Rider kept stroking her head gently, but she could tell he was having a hard time doing so. ”It's okay.” That's when she noticed a faint light surrounding the man. She looked up from his chest and was met by his gentle, smiling face. White particles of light were emerging from his body, and Jenna immediately realized he was starting to fade away. ”N-no! Rider!!” ”Jenna, always remember. Mystery creates wonder, and wonder... is the basis of man's desire to understand.” With those last words, he faded away. Jenna yelled out his name. ”Armstrong!!!” But it was too late. Rider was already gone, and wouldn't come back.