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acoazlove · 1 month ago

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A New Place | part three

Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Summary: The Inner Circles dinner turned out far different than anyone could have anticipated.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Angst

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The Tavern is in chaos. All of your coworkers, spring from one side of the building to the next. Cleaning things that you didn’t even think needed cleaning. Moving chairs and tables this way and that.

Yet you don’t have a clue what it’s all for. Well, it’s because ‘someone important’ is coming in, as Benny had said two days ago. You just didn’t know who, you were being kept out of the loop, as per usual. Shoulders slump at that realisation. Sliding into one of the stools at the bar, chin resting on your hand, silently watching them fuss and argue about minuscule things.

Odessa’s black hair swished as she barked orders at Oberon and Tarian. The two of them grumble but follow her lead nonetheless. The absolute worst part was the fact that Dominic’s hulking form was nowhere to be seen. He never misses a shift and does not show up late. Made even worse because it’s already dark out. Shifting your gaze to the clock, and see it’s already 8:00. His and Benny’s absence was starting to stress you out.

A damp cloth gets thrown onto the counter in front of you, startling you from your thoughts. Swiping a hand down your face to remove any droplets that splashed onto you. You scowl up at the culprit, finding Adem grimacing. “Sorry.” Quiet and breathy as if he was trying to hold in a laugh. “No, you’re not.” Turning your head back to the scene behind you, a snort escapes him at your words. Choosing to ignore that, “Do you know what’s going on?”

Gaze meets his once again, finding him avoiding eye contact. “…No.” Too long a pause for you not to notice. Eyes narrowing in suspicion, “Yes you do.” an accusatory finger points in his face, which he slaps away. Face scrunching at the accusation, “Firstly get that out of my face. Secondly, fine, I do. But I can’t tell you.” he replies with an exasperated huff.

Brows furrow once again, “Why not?” Adem goes to reply but gets interrupted by two large hands clapping down on his shoulders, a wince leaving him. Dominic's scowling face appears over his shoulder, meeting your eyes. “Why aren’t you two working?” a brow raising at you. “Shouldn’t you be cleaning the glassware?”

You release a frustrated groan but move behind the bar. Grabbing a couple glasses to shine, “What’s going on?” voice taking an irritated tone. Sick of your questions being ignored.

Their eyes track something behind you, turning and following their gaze, you find Benny leaning against the kitchen doorway, arms crossed over her chest. You raise a brow questioningly, and she reciprocates it. Before you can repeat your question again. “Break time, y/n.”

You slam the glass you were shining on the bar harder than intended, causing all eyes to shift to you. “You’ll find out after your break.” Benny’s tone holds no argument.

“Fine.” You say through gritted teeth, and aggressively pull your waist apron off and shove it into her arms before you walk into the kitchen.

Once you’re out of hearing distance, Dominic gives Benny an incredulous look, “She’s going to be upset once she finds out.” A heavy sigh exits her, “I know. Let’s just finish cleaning up. They should be here in about 20 minutes.”

Dominic and Adem nod and turn to help the others, and Benny runs a hand down her face defeatedly.

─

The Inner Circle make their way towards Benny’s Bar, The boys leading the way. Elain and Lucien had kindly offered to look after Nyx for the night, giving his parents the night to relax. Amren also couldn’t make it, since she is away in the Summer Court. The family all dressed comfortably since the bar isn’t exactly the fanciest place.

Azriel’s hands wringing together as he walks behind them. A bad feeling sat heavy in his stomach. He shoves his hands in his pockets and pushes away that feeling as much as he can. He typically prides himself on being a relatively calm and confident male, but that calm is slipping into nervousness with every step closer to the tavern. Mor’s and Cassian’s excited voices only seem to make it worse.

The bell above the door rings loudly in his ears, as they all step into the Bar. His assessing eyes track each patron, and It surprises Az that no one even bats an eye, completely ignoring the big group that had just arrived.

Benny bounds over, a beaming smile on her face, that the lot of them reciprocate easily. Nesta and Feyre, having never met the blue female, eye her curiously, but grin regardless.

“Welcome! I’m Benny.” Introducing herself to the two females, who introduce themselves in return. “Let’s get you all seated.” Her smile never left her face.

Benny leads them to a more secluded corner of the room to give them as much privacy as the Inner Circle can get. And just like Benny had said a couple of days ago, two large tables were shoved together. Once everyone is seated Benny hands all of them some old menus that had hardly been used in decades, “I’ll leave you all to take a look, then I’ll come back and take your orders.” The group thanks her as she stalks away.

“She’s lovely.” Feyre voices to her mate next to her, while opening her menu.

“You should have met her when she first opened this place.” Mor snickers. “She wasn’t our biggest fan at first, but we managed to get her to warm up to us,” Cassian says with a proud grin, which Rhys snorts at.

Azriel peers over his shoulder, hardly paying attention to the conversation in front of him. His nerves spike once again when his shadows start darting around, whispering to him about who is nearby.

As he tries to shoo them away so he can see for himself, a deep booming voice comes from behind the bar. “Archeron! Get your ass behind the bar!”

The whole group's head snapped in the direction to find the source of those foul words. Nesta and Feyres' faces are set in a look of outrage, and the boys look about ready to kill. But as soon as they go to do something about it, a familiar head pops out from the kitchen door. You. Everyone’s mouths immediately snap shut.

Your own face is set in irritation. “What?” You growl back at the deep voice. Azriel’s dark brows raise a fraction, his gaze turning back towards his family, mouths dropped to the floor, watching you make your way over to him, while quickly trying to tie an apron around your waist. Az’s shadows now trailing across the wood flooring towards you, and he struggles to reign them back in.

Nesta's attention whirls on Cassian. “Is this why we’re having dinner here?” She snaps at him. Cassian shuts his mouth as he meets her eyes, “No, I had no idea.” His brows pull together as he turns back to look in your direction, at the same time Benny stops by Dominic and you. His frown deepens, “She did though.”

A slender figure obscures their view of you all of a sudden “I’ll be your server for the night.” The person's voice. Morrigan’s face lights up, “Odessa?” She questions, leaning back in her seat to get a better look at her. “Hi, Mor,” Odessa replies with a chuckle. Her head turns back behind her, towards you having a stare off with the male in front of you. You don’t know that they’re here, she realises as she scratches down their order.

─

Glaring at Dominic, who tilts his head towards the liquor, then throws a rag at your face. His silent way of telling you to hurry up. “I still had ten minutes left of my break.” you hiss, ripping the cloth off your face.

He shrugs, turning his attention back to the glass in front of him, “It’s busy.” You’re about to whip him with the towel in your hands before Benny’s blue form leans against the bar top in front of you. Raising a brow at the scowl on your face. “We have customers waiting.”

A rumbling laugh comes from your right, and a bottle of alcohol is shoved into your hands so hard you have to take a step back. You take a deep breath at the smug look on his face, he then hands you a note with a drink order scribbled on it in Odessa’s handwriting.

Without another word, you read the order, and step up to the shelf, take six shot glasses, and place them down on a tray, lined up. You pluck the lid off the liquor bottle and bump-pour the shots. Practically slamming the bottle down once done.

A low whistle is heard from the kitchen doorway, spinning on your heel, your eyes narrow at the blonde. Oberon has the gall to smirk at you. “What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Smirk widening as your face twisted further in frustration. Benny steps in before you can blow up, hand sliding onto your shoulder to try to get your attention. However, a flash of mousy brown hair slides in behind the male in front of you.

Tarian’s smile is almost smug as he peers over your shoulder, his focus catching on something, and he elbows the male next to him in the ribs, Oberon snorts at the observation. With a huff, you turn your head to see what is so interesting and find a dark shadow swirling by your shoulder.

All frustration leaves your body, knowing who it belongs to. Eyes widening, and panic setting in. Why is it here? Is he here? Are they all here? Your gaze lands back on Benny next to you. Who’s expression softens considerably upon noticing the flash of hurt that crosses your features.

Now you finally know who they were getting the place ready for.

Hesitantly looking around the room, and immediately lock eyes with hazel. Then the rest of your family, whose attention quickly turns to anything else, trying to make it look like they weren’t just gawking at you. You release a shaky exhale and push Benny's hand off your shoulder. “A bit of warning would have been nice.” You grit out. A guilty smile tugged at her lips. “I thought you would freak out and run.”

You can’t help but gape at her words. “Name one time I’ve done that.” She gives you a look, and you're reminded once again of how you started working in the bar in the first place. “Oh piss off,” you grumble before going back over to Dominic.

Choosing to ignore the fact that you have six pairs of eyes currently tracking your every move, you push a tray of shots to the edge of the counter. “Dessa.” Calling her attention away from a female sitting on one of the bar stools.

You point at the tray and she reluctantly leaves the female’s side to get the drinks. Giving you a wink as she heads in the direction of the large group. You send her a crude gesture as she turns, pulling a snort from the bulky male next to you. “Be nice.”

You throw the rag that you had been holding, at him. “You're lucky I didn’t whip you with that.” Turning towards a customer waiting to order. Shuffling comes from behind you, and in your peripheral you see Tarian ushering Oberon back into the kitchen.

Benny lingered by the doorway as well before following the two males. An unexpected breath of relief escapes you now that her eyes aren’t on you. Disregarding that realisation you keep yourself busy with pouring drinks, keeping to yourself for the rest of the night.

─

Azriel hasn’t taken his gaze off of you since you entered the room. Though that isn’t unusual for him. He had caught himself doing so since your first interaction in the human realm. An invisible force guiding his attention to you constantly, however, he always brushed it off as your charming personality. As far as he knows, you never seem to notice.

Scarred fingers twitch as he watches you move, strung so tight it almost looks painful. Trying with every fibre of your being to ignore the group of people who let you down. He let you down. He should’ve said something to them. He thought they would remember on their own. He was wrong.

He should’ve told you that he remembered. That could’ve helped at least a little, you would know that you’re not an afterthought, that he sees you. But he was a coward. Didn’t want you to think of him in that way, because it's easier for him. Did you end up even opening the present he got you? He wouldn’t blame you if you threw it out.

He gets pulled out of his thoughts by plates being cleared from the table. A red-haired male doing so as quickly and quietly as he could. How long had his self-deprecating thoughts distracted him? That question is answered by the Inner Circle standing from their seats and grabbing their jackets. Hardly conversing.

As Azriel starts walking out of the building behind his family, he looks over his shoulder, he sees you taking off your waist apron, muttering something to Benny while heading through the kitchen. A jacket hanging from your arm. He loses sight of you very briefly as the Tavern's door closes behind him, but then sees you exit out of the bar’s back door.

The rest of the group doesn’t seem to notice, already ambling in the direction of the River House, so he slips away over to where you’re standing.

He’s silent as he does so. He can tell that you know he’s there if the way you tense up is anything to go by. Stopping a good distance away from you to help make you feel like you’re not being cornered.

The silence that passes between you feels loud. “You didn’t seem surprised when you all realised I work here.” Pulling your jacket tighter around yourself, keeping your gaze forward. “Everyone else looked like they’d seen a ghost.”

Azriel studied your side profile, moonlight highlighting each feature, trying to decipher what you are truly feeling from your quiet, monotonous voice. He remembers you being far more expressive when talking. However, he knows three months can truly change someone. Especially with the way you were treated.

At his extended silence, you finally turn your head towards him, and the uncomfortable yet questioning look you give him prompts him to finally speak. “I saw you with Benny at the Cafe two days ago.” A heavy sigh leaves you at that. “Why didn’t you tell them?” He frowns at your question.

”Why would I tell them?” Now it's your turn to frown. “Because they’re your family. Plus work for Feyre and Rhysand. Doesn’t that mean you need to tell them everything?” Azriel shuffles on his feet, wings twitching at his back, shadows crawling across the pavements towards you, as if wanting to comfort you. Trying and failing to reign them in, He turns his attention to the Inner Circles disappearing forms, hardly in view anymore.

You follow his gaze “Not everything.” Brows pulling together, many questions on the tip of your tongue, but he continues before you can voice them. “Most things yes, but after what happened,” turning back to look at you, “You’re happy here. You should be able to keep a safe space. You found that with them.” He tilts his head to the Bar back door behind you, a curl falling over his forehead as he does so. Another sigh leaves you. “They all came anyway. So that doesn’t matter anymore.”

Thick brows pull together at the defeated tone of your voice. Opening his mouth to say something, but decides against it. You notice it though, deciding to ignore it when he stays silent.

A roaring laugh from the kitchen pulls both of your attention. A long exhale escapes past your lips. “I should get back to work.” Grabbing the door handle, almost hesitantly. “They miss you.” Azriel all but blurts out. Needing you to know. He cringed internally at the volume he spoke, not intending it to come out as a near yell.

You scoff. “If they missed me they would have tried to find and talk to me.” His shadows move sporadically, giving away his inner turmoil. “They wanted to give you time.” He tries to reason.

A sound of disbelief comes from you as soon as the words leave his mouth. “For three months? They wanted to give me time for three months?” Looking up at the stars to calm yourself. “For all I know they just forgot about me. It's not like it’d be the first time.” Azriel doesn't like the tone you’re using but understands where your anger and irritation are coming from.

Letting out a long exhale when he doesn’t respond. “I really should get back in there. I hope you enjoyed your night Azriel.” The sincerity of your tone makes Azriel’s shoulders slump, but he nods as you slip back inside. Leaving him alone with an uncomfortable silence. His shadows circled around him in frustration, whispering about the disappointed look on your features as you made your way back through the kitchen. They want him to go back in and keep talking to you, to try to get you to smile.

He’ll try again another day. Give you some time to collect your thoughts and feelings and accept the fact that they all now know where you are. No guarantee that they won't just show up when you need time to breathe. To turn your safe space into a place they visit often.

Maybe he can convince the Inner Circle to have a civil, grown-up conversation with you. Maybe you could get them to understand that how they treated you has affected you more than they could ever understand. That they hurt you. That you deserve better. You’re not a child anymore, you've been through stuff too.

He wants you to be happy.

With that thought, he jumps into the sky and flies home. But he’s finally realising that home feels different without you.

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a/n: There might be spelling mistakes. I’m sorry this took so long, I couldn’t get this right for a long time, and I’m still not the happiest with it, but I can always fix it in the future. The family confrontation will be in the next part. I’m sorry that the story is taking a while. I promise that the actual love story with reader and Az will show up really, really soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this regardless. <3

#azriel × reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x reader angst #azriel angst #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #acotar x reader #acotar #a new place #a new place series

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knoxic · 2 months ago

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Cycle of Greed

Azriel x reader | Lucien Vanserra x reader | p1 - p2 - p3 - p4 - p5

Summary: Reader and Lucien arrive at Day Court and go drinking. Azriel goes through some rough shit and gives Rhys and Cassian a new trauma.

wc: 6k

warnings: Alcohol, almost death experience, mentions of sex (?)

a/n: I wrote the Lucien scenes while drunk and sleepy, the next day when I went back to write I didn't remember half of it. It was a good surprise, I caught myself blushing at my own work.

After arriving at Day Court, Lucien took you to the inn where you'd be staying. Helion no doubt had a room ready for both of you, but Lucien didn't want to risk being stuck in his father's palace, not again. You understood his reasons, of course, the damage Beron had done to him was one Lucien would have to carry for the rest of his life.

The inn was cozy and entirely Day coded, embellished in white and gold. Your room was more of a flat, with a couple of bedrooms, a bathroom decorated with stained glass that reflected colorful lights, the kitchen was filled with white furniture, high arched windows allowed rays of sunlight to dance inside the living room, you could swear Lucien's skin seemed to glow with them.

Watching him in what was supposed to be one of his natural habitats was something special. Lucien had to learn how to fit into places that weren't ready to receive him in his true form, so he adapted. Although he still maintained some of his origins, the Autumn part of himself had mixed with Spring over the years, he kept some of the colors and habits, Day Court was only in his blood, hidden from everything and everyone, even himself for some time. While your wardrobe only contained Night Court clothes, Lucien had perfected his to fit into any court he had to visit.

Now adorned in white and gold, Lucien was breathtaking, striking male beauty only Helion radiated.

"When we get back, you should ask Feyre for a painting, it'll last longer." He didn't even lift his head to look at you. Your cheeks warmed, he caught you staring him up and down, but surely there was nothing wrong in admiring a friend right? Especially if said friend was Lucien, who deserved to be looked at with nothing but admiration and pride.

"Shut up." You rolled your eyes at him with no true irritation. Lucien barked out a laugh, throwing his head back, a smile curled on your lips at the sight.

"There's nothing wrong with looking," he turned his upper body back to face you, flashing you a smirk. "I even dare say I liked it."

"Gods, you're so full of yourself aren't you?!" you groaned, more at yourself for eyeing him like that. After over a century of pining over Azriel, admiring him, wanting only him, looking at another male felt weird.

You went back to your room, dropping on the bed and rethinking your decision to come. You didn't regret accompanying Lucien, but this close proximity suddenly felt strange, you shared an apartment with him for God's sake, why did you feel this way?

Being with Lucien never felt wrong before, but now it did. Because you were starting to see him as a male, not a friendly male, an insanely attractive male. When your body heated and a knot formed on your lower belly, you thought of Azriel. Not Lucien. Now you weren't sure who you'd think of when your hand drifted down your body, who you'd imagine between your legs when your eyes slipped close from pleasure.

Azriel had never left you unsatisfied, it always felt good to be with him, he knew what to do and you wouldn't deny that, and it was natural that you'd only find pleasure with him or yourself. But if he could want another female when he was still with you, then you wouldn't feel bad about wanting another male while being single.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" Lucien asked quietly, you hadn't even heard the door opening. You lifted your head to peer at him, he kept his head down while leaning against the doorway. "It wasn't my intention."

"You didn't," your head dropped back, "I'm just thinking." It was true, but he just didn't need to know what you were thinking. Lucien hummed and you heard his steps coming closer, you had closed your eyes for a moment when his weight dropped on the bed, instead of laying on the space beside you, he opted for laying horizontally above you, being careful to not lay on your hair but still close enough.

"Of him?" You would've laughed at the situation if you weren't so mortified. You wondered if Lucien thought the same, if he felt attracted to other females after Elain.

"Can I ask you something?" As embarrassed as you were, knowing that he felt the same would make you feel better, and if he didn't, then you'd just pretend you never felt anything.

"I didn't know we had to ask for permission, Ace," he tried teasing but his voice was as tense as yours. "Of course you can." You took a moment to find the courage you needed.

"Do you– ugh," it was harder than you expected, Lucien wouldn't judge you but he'd definitely tease you for being horny, and maybe that wasn't exactly what you needed.

"Just ask it." You turned your head up slightly, he already looked down at you, seeing him look so vulnerable and open eased your worries. Lucien was your equal, no matter what, he'd stand by you and some silly lustful thoughts wouldn't push him away. Not after everything you went through together.

"Do you feel... Like, do you want–or think of other... females?" heat rose to your cheeks and ears, you averted your eyes from his but kept your head turned to the side, so you could see if he tried to hide a laugh.

"Yes." Your head snapped up, his face was as serious as you ever saw him, like it didn't bother him at all to admit it.

"Yes?!" You didn't mean to sound so shocked, you were just surprised by his lack of concern. If it didn't mean that big of a deal for him, who had a mate, then it wouldn't be for you either. "Like in a–"

"Sexual way? Yes, I think of another female." His eyes drifted away before he turned to look up, "It's easy not to think of Elain. She's my mate, and yet... I don't even feel attracted to her anymore." His mouth opened and closed, a sigh escaping him before he looked at you, his eyes pleading for something you couldn't place, "Would you think badly of me if I said she meant nothing?" You wouldn't, couldn't ever think badly of him. Elain never gave him a chance, he was completely allowed to do and think whatever he wanted now. At least he had tried.

"No," your hands twitched with the need to touch him, comfort him, "I understand." The relief in his eyes was clear, he needed reassurance.

Only a beat of a moment passed before you could stand being so far. Slowly you pushed yourself up, wiggling your head against his arm hoping he would understand what you wanted, fortunately he did, with an amused scoff Lucien lifted his arm, allowing you to push yourself higher and drop your head into his stomach. His arm dropped beside your body, his fingers brushed your own arm a couple times before he deemed it okay to rest his hand on it.

"Can I ask you something?" Hearing the same phrase you spoke to him before now really sounded weird.

"Since when do we ask for permission?" Lucien laughed, his stomach moved and your head bounced, you lifted yourself to glare at him for it and it only made him laugh harder. Before you knew it, a hot hand placed on your forehead pulled you back down, his arm dropping to your chest to hold you back from lifting again.

"Why did you ask me that?" His voice was gentle and warm, your cheeks burned at how fast your body filled with goosebumps, "Do you feel attracted to other males?" At your lack of response, his thumb caressed your cheek carefully. "It's okay if you do, it doesn't have to mean anything."

It doesn't have to mean anything.

There's something about Lucien that just soothes you, as weird as it feels to say it, his mainly nature allows you to be yourself, no hard shells. You didn't have to fight off males at bars because Lucien was there to do it for you. You didn't have to be the male. He radiated warmth and comfort.

"Come," he didn't give you a chance to respond to his latter question, the hand that wasn't on your chest gently lifted your head, "Let's go get drunk." For a brief moment his eyes settled on your body, before you could feel embarrassed under his gaze, Lucien spoke with a certain annoyance, "But it won't do with those clothes, honey."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "What's wrong with my clothes?" Even though your attire was rather simple, there wasn't anything particularly wrong or ugly about it.

"Funny, you never told me you had eye problems." The mocking smile on his face made you groan.

"Because I don't!" You yelled, sitting up so fast that your head spinned. Lucien blinked slowly, waiting for you to realize what was wrong, he only spoke when he noticed how lost you were.

"We're in Day Court, they're gonna kick us out of the bar if I take you out looking like this!" his hand gestured towards your dark clothes, "You're the perfect picture of a Night Court resident." Lucien stood up, snatching your hand and pulling you to your feet, you almost fell when he continued pulling you out of the room, towards the front door.

𓂃

When Azriel woke up for the second time, his chest hurt. A pressure he never felt before making it hard to breathe, his lungs burning as if he was drowning, the satin sheets scratched his sensitive skin. After he managed to fully open his eyes and look down at himself, he noticed red bumps on his arms and chest. When he tried to move, his whole body ached like he'd just fought the worst battle of his life. And the worst part was, he couldn't feel his wings.

In his half assed inspection, he noticed the dirty blonde hair sprawled across his sheets and he knew then that his shadows wouldn't help him. He tried to call for Elain, or anyone really, but he just ended up having a bad coughing fit. As he usually did when he couldn't or didn't want to speak, he called for Rhysand, hoping his brother would hear his desperate plea and help him.

'What's wrong?' his voice sounded annoyed but if Azrie wasn't so concerned, he'd notice how worried Rhysand actually sounded. 'Az? Answer me!'

When he woke for the third time, the room he was in wasn't his own, he recognized after a brief glance around that it was the infirmary.

"You're awake! Thank the mother..." The last part was uttered under his breath, Rhysand shot up to his feet, ruffling Azriel's hair with one hand and lightly patting his arm with the other. "I thought we'd lost you, brother."

Loud footsteps echoed through the hallway moments later, the door busted open and suddenly he was being pulled up, strong arms holding his body tightly.

"Idiot," sniffles and sobs muffled against his neck, "you scared me!" Cassian pulled back to look at him, wide and red eyes roaming over his face and body, taking in his features and wellbeing.

"What happened?" Azriel pulled back only to be taken by a different pair of arms, Rhysand nuzzled his head against his own, a shaky breath tickling his still sensitive skin.

"Madja said you had an allergic reaction, something you ate or drank or something overdosed..." Cassian spoke slowly, like the words felt weird on his tongue, "Azriel–" his breath got stuck in his throat, a choking sound filled the quiet room. Rhysand pulled back from the hug, violet eyes drifted between his two brothers, settling a while longer on Cassian. Azriel watched their silent interaction curiously.

"Az..." Rhysand called his attention, waiting for him to nod before continuing, "Your heart stopped beating."

𓂃

Shopping with Lucien was exactly how you expected. Trying on a bunch of different clothes only for him to roll his eyes and shake his head no, gesturing with a hand for you to get back inside the dressing room and try the next. You would've gotten annoyed at him if he didn't make up for his attitude.

"That's... By the Mother, Ace." He chuckled nervously, "Don't get me wrong! I mean—you're beautiful in any way, but in that... A Goddess would be outshined in your presence." You could swear the room had just turned a bit warmer and brighter at his words.

"Stop it–" you brushed him off.

"No, I mean it." That being the last dress you had to try on, Lucien got up from his seat, taking the basket with the clothes he'd approved and made his way towards you. His hand took yours gently, pulling you closer to himself, you were too busy trying to avert his gaze to notice the way he looked at you, the way he admired you. Trying to get your attention Lucien squeezed your hand, making you look up, for a moment you both just stared at each other, then he lifted your hand and made you turn slowly.

"Yeah, we're definitely taking this one." Lucien didn't give you time to be embarrassed, placing his hand on the small of your back and guiding you to the shoes section.

𓂃

"What?" His question was whispered under his breath, his sore throat made his voice rougher than it usually was.

"For a few minutes we–" Rhysand exhaled another shaky breath, "we lost you. You died." He waited for Azriel to show any reaction before caressing his mind with careful talons. Azriel allowed him with no more than just a blink.

"Az? Azriel!" Rhysand tried to shake him awake, feeling his brother's frigid skin made him recoil. "No..."

"Rhys? What's– Oh Gods, no, no, no!" Cassian pushed the High Lord aside, gathering Azriel in his arms and walking out in hurried steps. Being careful not to bang his wings, long legs or head against the door and walls.

He knew he hadn't checked Azriel's pulse or breathing, and refused to look down at his bare chest to know for sure, but he only had one thing in his mind at the moment, finding help. He would do anything to make sure his brother would live, but he knew he couldn't help him in this situation, and he also knew how Rhysand felt on death threatening occasions, so he went to the only other place that could give Azriel the type of help he needed.

Madja was always ready for anything, there was never a day or night where she wasn't able to help. Whatever it was, she always had the solution for it.

Until now.

"I am so sorry, High Lord!" she seemed as desperate as they were, "It seems his body is fighting something, he has symptoms of an allergy reaction, his organism reacted badly to something and is now trying to reject it. But I can't tell what and if I can't tell... then there's nothing I can do..." her eyes were filled with moisture, she couldn't meet anyone's gaze and wouldn't tear hers away from Azriel.

"We can't just sit here..." Cassian pondered, something came to his head and he glanced at Rhysand, noticing how he seemed to be on the verge of panic he stepped closer, "Brother, look at me! He's not going to die, you hear me?! Azriel's not going to die!" Cassian shook him, calling to him in his mind, showing him what he was thinking.

𓂃

Four drinks in and you couldn't take it anymore, it'd been so long since you've gotten drunk that you weren't sure if you knew how to handle alcohol, Lucien didn't seem like he'd stop any time soon. Now you realized how spoiled Rhysand had gotten you, unintentionally or not. You were used to his wine and the drinks at Rita's, which paled in comparison to what they had in Day. A little part of you that hadn't come out in so long, slowly slipped to the surface, new ideas about trying the rest of the unusual drinks or roaming the city trying a drink from each bar you could find filled your head.

"Didn't you like it? We can try another." Lucien tapped your arm with his fingers, bringing your attention to him.

"No, this one's fine," you took a sip of the coloured drink trying to make a point, grimacing as you did.

Lucien grinned, "Yeah? Then I'll get another–"

"No!" Your hand shot up to hold his arm when he moved to stand, his face told you you'd have to give him a good excuse if you wanted him to sit back down. You groaned and let go of him, your fingers lightly pushed the drink away. "It's not bad–Really! it isn't! It's just... I'm not used to drinks this strong." You muttered the last part, hoping he wouldn't catch.

"Sorry, what was that?" He leaned close, one of his hands cupping his ear. You rolled your eyes.

"I said, I'm not used to drinks this strong." Lucien cooed at you.

"Aw, baby! You could've told me!" the hand that cupped his ear fell to your back, gently patting and rubbing you, you waited for the moment he'd mock you, "I would've asked for a warm cup of milk–"

A loud smack echoed. Just in time for your hand to make contact with his arm, the talking and music quieted. A few faes turned to glance at you both, raised eyebrows and hushed whispers, your cheeks heated up at the embarrassment consuming you. Lucien threw his head back and barked out a laugh that had your head falling against the table with a tud, you wanted to cave a hole right there and bury yourself in it, only coming out centuries later when everyone had forgotten it, including yourself.

𓂃

"Thank you." Rhysand breathed out, after seeing some color return to Azriel's face he felt like he could properly breathe again, "Really, I'll be in debt with you for the rest of my life." Those were dangerous words for a High Lord like him, and still he pronounced them clearly, it was a promise.

"No need. You're my friend and I'm glad to help." Helion patted his arm and left after a brief nod in Cassian's direction, wanting to give them the privacy to be vulnerable. Cassian immediately took it, crossing the room and pulling Rhysand into a tight hug.

"He's okay, he's okay." He repeated. Rhys hummed against his neck in response.

Now that the worst part was over, that he was sure Azriel would live, the brutality of the situation hit him. Azriel almost died and Elain was behind it. He wondered if she knew what she did, if that was her intention from the beginning or if it was an accident. He wondered why. Even though he hated the idea, he thought she loved him, thought they loved each other, enough so that Azriel defied him. But this... this wasn't love. Her reasons to do it didn't matter.

Rhysand hated himself for failing his brother, but he hated her more. He wanted to go back to the House of Wind and make Elain pay, perhaps giving her the drug she had given Azriel and see what happened, a strong Illyrian male survived, with the right help, he wondered how a simple high fae would take it, alone.

While embraced in strong loving arms, Rhysand fantasized about the female who almost killed his brother, who threatened his family. Wild fantasies of her in extreme pain, deadly worry, agonizing her last breath filled his mind. He wondered if Azriel would want a turn with her, if he'd want to make her pay for almost ending his life, for taking away his choice, for destroying the life he'd built with you.

Ace. He had to tell you, even if you ended up ignoring him, even if it didn't change anything for you, you should know. But he had something to do first.

𓂃

Coming back to the inn felt like a dream. With merry eyes that place was heavenly. You didn't remember getting ready for bed but the oversized shirt you wore and lack of makeup on your face showed you had. After doing your morning routine, you left your room. You assumed Lucien was still asleep given that there weren't any sounds coming from the hallway, so with quiet steps you made your way to the kitchen, only to find the table already set.

You were too busy munching on a piece of bread to notice the presence behind you. Two fingers jabbing into your ribs and a weirdly attractive 'morning' uttered by your ear made you jump, the squeak the chair let out mixed with your yelp. When your heartbeat stopped deafening your ears, you heard Lucien howling.

"The bread!" He wheezed. You watched him with narrowed eyes but after understanding what he had said, you started searching for it. "Cei–" he tried to say something only to start laughing again.

"What?" You frantically searched for the bread and still there was no trace of it, glancing back at Lucien you noticed his finger pointing up. The piece of bread had stuck to the ceiling above your head, the splashes of jam started falling as you looked up. A weird wet sound and the smack of bread on the table had Lucien barking out laughter.

Someone knocking interrupted your silly moment, Lucien wiped the tears in his eyes and walked to the front door. The silence that followed was awkward, there was no sound after the door opened, no greetings. A few seconds later you got curious and decided to go see who it was, as you walked closer Lucien asked what was wrong, you would've waited fro the other person to speak if you hadn't caught a glimpse of black. As you fully turned the corner, violet eyes drifted to you.

There was something in him that just felt unsettling. Rhysand seemed disturbed, and you hoped it had nothing to do with you.

"I need to talk to you." His voice was quiet, worrying you even more. You nodded and Lucien invited him in, closing the door behind him.

"I'll be in my room if you need me." He walked away after a brief look at you.

You took Rhysand to the living room, pointing for him to sit before taking the other side of the couch. The High Lord leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, his fingers fidgeting.

"I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm going to show you," he hesitantly turned to face you, "if you allow me."

"Okay." Even if it had something to do with you, it was bad enough to make Rhysand nervous, and that wasn't good.

Images of the last three days filled your mind. Azriel's pale body limp and Cassian gathering him would haunt you forever. Seeing Rhysand's inner turmoil, Cassian fighting to stay composed for his brothers sake, the Archeron sisters yelling at each other, Mor and even Amren looking troubled, it was all too much for you. Minutes after the memories ended you still hadn't pronounced a word, there was not a single indication of what you were thinking or feeling.

"Helion helped heal him, Madja wasn't able to so we brought him here. We would've taken him to Dawn but given that it was a potion, we couldn't risk losing time only to be met with no solution, and since there's not a spell Helion doesn't know, it was a wise decision." With a glance in his direction, you noticed how he nodded absentmindedly, his voice quiet as if he was talking more to himself. "It was Cassian."

The thought of Cassian poisoning Azriel sounded horrifying and the most unrealistic thing ever, "What?!" It was a loud whisper, you would've yelled if your voice hadn't failed you, almost muted from shock.

"No! Gods, no! I'm sorry I made it sound like that, I meant that it was Cassian's idea to bring him here. He took over when I couldn't think straight..."

"Thank the Mother," you breathed out, relief overtaking you for a moment before another thought came to mind, "but, who was it?" you hesitated for a moment, Azriel couldn't have poisoned himself accidentally, and the thought of someone close to him doing that, was terrifying. If someone had the guts to harm The Spymaster of the Night Court, they were either out of their mind, or the most threatening person to enter that court in centuries.

"Elain." Your stomach dropped, that uncomfortable sensation of shock filled you, Elain!?

Out of everything your mind could have come up with, Elain harming Azriel wouldn't be one of them. Up until a few seconds ago you still thought they loved each other, thought she wanted him badly enough to push her mate aside, thought he wanted her badly enough to throw you away and go against his brother to be with her. She had him, how could she harm him like that? Why?

"When Azriel was stable, I went to interrogate her, to know exactly what her intention was." He started when he noticed you were lost in thought. "It was a love potion. She had been cultivating passionflower for months now, its tea is used to treat insomnia, anxiety and pain. but apparently it's also used on love potions. So every time she pretended to help him ease his anxiety and sleep better, she was also drugging him into being in love with her." You uttered some curse words under your breath, Rhysand nodded in agreement before continuing. "She was using the flower petals and concentrated syrup on the cakes and pastries she gave him, saying it was a new recipe or just a form of payment for his help. According to her, three nights ago Azriel started acting differently, she could see the way his behavior drifted from being obsessed and lustful to disgust and indifference, so she thought it'd be a good idea to triple the tea's dose. The thing is, Az already had a decent amount of it in his system, he just wasn't reacting to it, and after the triple dose... It made him relax and sleep as intended, but when he drifted off, his heartbeat slowed way more than normal and it only got worse. The soreness he was feeling from the past few days turned into extreme pain, the beating Cassian and I gave him, his wing... It all made him too sensitive, the bruises turned red and angry like closed wounds or rashes. He managed to wake up somehow," Rhysand gave a humorless laugh, "and he called me... when I found him..." he drifted off, for sure reliving the moment behind his closed eyelids.

"Rhys..." you tried to find what to say, but nothing came up, you couldn't think straight. Your lower lip trembled, your eye stinging with tears that you couldn't keep from falling. A hand rested over your shaky one, his body shifting closer to you, his other hand bringing you to lean on his chest, planting a kiss to the side of your head before resting his against you and letting his own tears fall.

"I know it's a lot to take in... it was for me too." He breathed shakily in and out. "I took care of her, Az is safe, no one will hurt him again. It's okay." He kept uttering words to comfort you both.

You didn't know what to think. Azriel hadn't chosen her, he didn't love her, didn't push you aside because he stopped loving or wanting you. It made sense now why he seemed so intrigued when you mentioned breaking up, why his change was so sudden, why you didn't recognize him. The Azriel you broke up with wasn't the same Azriel you had fallen in love with, and at the same time that it relieved a horrible weight off of your chest, it also laid another. Because even if it wasn't your fault, you hated yourself for not seeing it earlier, for leaving him and giving her the chance to have him, and more so for even for a brief moment, wanting Lucien.

"You couldn't have known." You immediately closed off your mind and pushed away from his chest, refusing to meet Rhysand's eyes. "I'm not judging you, I wouldn't ever do that. I hate myself too for not seeing it, I knew he was different but I was just so pissed that I didn't even consider... I'm sure that the Azriel we know wouldn't judge you either. And, can I tell you something?" His hands were still holding yours and rubbing your back.

"Yeah." You still refused to look at him, your cheeks tinged with shame, Rhysand lifted your chin, his face showed no signs of bad emotions anymore, and if you dared guess, it showed hope.

"First I want you to know I'm not prompting you to do anything, I just want you to acknowledge the truth, you don't have to do anything with it if you don't want to. Again, I'm not going to judge you." He waited until you understood and nodded before speaking. "Azriel never loved Elain. His heart belongs to you... his soul belongs to you."

You tilted your head in question, wondering why he looked at you so intrigued. Of course, hearing that Azriel never loved another from someone else's mouth comforted you, showed that you weren't so wrong in assuming.

"Sweetheart–" he opened his mouth to continue but closed quickly after, thinking for a moment before meeting your eyes with a newfound determination, "Elain only resorted to that because she knew she was losing time, she couldn't make him fall for her naturally, and she knew she wouldn't have the chance to do it if Azriel found out." Rhysand shook his head when he noticed you didn't have a clue of what he was saying, his talons caressed you mind wanting to show you. It was a moment you didn't remember, and wouldn't ever because it didn't and wouldn't happen.

Both you and Azriel babysitting Nyx, who was snuggled in your arms, giggling from your fingers tickling his sides. Azriel watched the scene with adoring eyes, his shadows danced at the sound of your laughter, floating around you. The baby's back was turned to him, and the sight of his wings and black hair gave Azriel an image of what could be his future. His baby, giggling and snuggling with you, their eyes a copy of yours, nose the perfect mixture of you both, pointy ears half hidden behind black hair. Your eyes met his from behind his nephew's head, the light in them and your face glowing with happiness told him you were thinking the same. The love he cultivated behind his ribs bloomed, he could swear his heart pulsed so hard you could see it moving even hidden behind his shirt.

He watched you gently place Nyx down, making sure he entertained himself with some toys before making your way towards him. Azriel met you halfway, as always, locking his arms behind you and pulling you into his chest, your bodies fit perfectly.

"Can you imagine it?" You spoke softly.

"Yeah, I can." You could basically hear his smile.

Azriel pulled back slightly, his hand coming up to your head to make you look at him. Your eyes met hazel ones, the molten gold in his eyes, mingled with green and brown, glowed. The swirls they made resembled his shadows, you could spend hours staring into his irises and still they would fascinate you. Azriel blinked, when your eyes met this time, there was gold in yours too, a small thread growing brighter and brighter, his heart ached, a pull constricted his breath and he hissed, when your brows furrowed and your eyes watered, he knew you felt the same.

The thread became bigger and you finally felt your souls connected, Azriel's happiness was overwhelming, the tears fell. His forehead rested on yours, he sniffled and chuckled a moment later, shaking his head in astonishment.

"It's you..." he smiled, pulling back and caressing your face, "I always knew it was you." He whipped your tears while his own fell freely down his cheeks, your hands cupped his face, bringing him down for a kiss.

The memory ended and your heart broke. Seeing Azriel so close like that again, and so full of love, that was the male you knew and loved, knowing that perhaps you'd never get to experience that moment with him, absolutely wrecked you. Your throat tightened trying to hold back your sobs, fat tears rolled down your face, wetting your and Rhysand's shirt.

Azriel was your mate. It was you he was tied to. Not Elain, not Mor. You.

Your mind provided you with a thousand possibilities of how your life could have been, if only Elain hadn't interfered. Your heart ached for him, for you, for the family you could've built. You still wanted him, it was too soon for you to have stopped wanting, but it was also too early to tell what was the right thing to do. Perhaps such a thing didn't exist, you both have always walked a thin line between right and wrong.

What confused you most was also longing for Lucien. Right when you decided that it wasn't wrong to want him, this happened. How could you feel so much want, and for different people?

So you cried. For everything and everyone. For all the possible futures you could've had, and for the ones you still could have. For hatred, for love, for the blankness inside you. For not knowing if what you felt for Lucien was only lust. For still loving Azriel, enough that whatever happened with Elain didn't matter anymore, it wasn't his fault anyway. And most importantly, you cried for yourself. For the pain inflicted upon you, for the rough path you always had to walk, for the weight of the world that you carried on your shoulders everyday.

Rhysand didn't move, his arms never strayed from your trembling body. He never tried to stop your tears, he knew you had to get the pain out someway. He whispered gentle words right by your ear, everything he knew would help ease your worries and pain.

The tears stopped after a few minutes, Rhys didn't let go immediately, letting you make the first move and pull away first. After that you spent a little while thinking through your options, taking a moment to decide what you wanted.

“Do you think–” you glanced at him to see his expression, “do you think he'll want to see me?”

“What?!” Rhysand scoffed, “Sweetheart, of course he'll want to see you.”

This trip was supposed to be relaxing, a time for you to not think of everything that happened. Lucien has asked you to come with him, to be there for him. You knew that he'd be okay with you going to see Azriel, because that's just the way he was, he would put himself aside to make sure his friends were happy, nevermind that his own happiness was just as important.

If someone deserves happiness, a happy ending, it's him. Lucien overworked so he wouldn't notice how alone he was, he used to avoid going home before you went to live with him. You both had become so much closer in the past few days, taking care of each other, having more fun than you've had in years.

You weighed your options, you could stay with him and continue with your original plans, you could go see Azriel out of respect for the time you spent together and worry for the male you loved, you could just send a letter, and you could go back to him, because none of what happened was his fault.

“I need some time to think.”

Taglist: @going-through-shit @crazylokonugget @meritxellao @cleverzonkwombatsludge @paintedbyshadows @mp-littlebit @rcarbo1 @that-one-little-soybean @scatteredstardustt @littlepippilongstocking @lorosette @minnieoo @hailqueenconquer @azriels-shadowsinger @blessthepizzaman @chelsiemp @saltedcoffeescotch @thestartitaness @historygeekqueen @sillyfreakfanparty @entr4p3 @warmdragonfly @clementine111002 @azriel-shadowsingerr @amiime @anuttellaa @loulou0101 @acourtofbatboydreams @xmalfoyweasleyx @anna-reader-blog @melmo567 @buttermilktea11 @helo1281917 @thelov3lybookworm @cazrielsfairygf @hanatsuki-hime @st4r-girl-official @feiwelinchen @fhgsvbnh

#azriel x reader #lucien vanserra x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel

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thehighladywrites · 11 months ago

Text

ACOTAR MEN X READER, USING DOE EYES ON THEM

summary: you give them doe eyes in order to persuade them into whatever you want

warnings: nsfw, suggestiveness

amara’s note: i love them holy shit but my fav one this time is eris🥹🥹

Rhysand:

Looks down at you with amusement

He knows what you’re trying to do

“ come on rhyssssss, just one tiny mission. I promise I’ll be super careful, baby”

Unbeknownst to you he agreed the second you asked since he can’t really say no to you

But he loves to see just how desperate you’ll get, how much you’ll beg him.

And paired with those docile eyes? Yeah he’s a goner.

He might seem composed and calm on the outside, but trust me that man is panicking

Rhysand knows he’ll say yes to anything, obey you in every way when you flash him those eyes.

“Okay, but please be careful. If you feel your shoulder hurt again, come home. Abandon the mission and prioritize yourself, do you hear me?”

The moment the words leave his mouth, it hits him like a brick that he agreed to give you a mission when you've barely recovered from an injury.

He never fails to be surprised by your ability to controll him

You words and eyes are powerful indeed…

Azriel:

You’d think he’d have some sort of resistance or something but no

If anything, he folds the quickest of them all

“ Az, could i please-”

“ Yes ”

He doesn’t even let you finish talking, he just looked into your begging eyes and said yes to whatever it is you wanted

There isn’t a thing on this planet that he wouldn’t do for you

But when you pair it with those doe eyes, standing shorter than him as you look up through your lashes with a slight tilt in your head, lips pouting, he gets hard

You look so submissive and innocent, it sparks something primal in him.

“You don’t have to ask me for things, my love, just tell me whatever it is you want and need.”

He’s grabbing you by your waist, pullling you in closer as he kisses you with need.

I’m so serious, this man is down bad

Cassian

He's been working late every day for two weeks, and you've had enough. You miss your mate, and you want him close.

Clad in a slutty little nightgown that screamed ‘give me attention’ , you sauntered into his office

At first, irritation crashes over you like a rogue wave because he isn’t even bothering to lift his head when he greets you. So, you declare it's time for a hands-on approach to spice up the scene.

Rounding his chair, you stand behind him, and with expert hands, you start giving his stiff shoulders a massage. His groans reverberate through the room.

"That feels so good, sweets," his voice is raspy and laced with exhaustion.

Smiling to yourself, your hands travel further down to his chest, where you attempt to unbutton his shirt.

He grabs your wrist, smirking, and drags you so you’re in front of him, raising an eyebrow at your bold move.

Cassian's brain short-circuits as you stand there with big eyes, begging for attention, and then lower yourself to your knees, looking up at him.

“ baby, i missed you so much. Please let me take care of you…”

Stunned, he's left speechless, resorting to a simple nod in response.

Safe to say, you were both pleased and relieved by the end of it all

Lucien:

He isn’t stupid, he KNOWS you use your eyes to get your way

But he literally doesn’t care, he’ll give in to you

He likes watching you work for it though

Standing before him, hands innocently behind your back, you arch your back, pushing your chest out, your eyes widening with a mix of need and desire. Your lips form a seductive pout, silently pleading for him to sweep you away to The Continent.

“is that how you ask for something, my love?”

He's feral, a teasing smile playing on his lips as he watches you, curious to see how far you'll go for a yes.

Little do you know, he's already packed your bags, setting the stage for a surprise journey.

“Please, Luc, I really wanna come with you. Let me convince you.”

You got him WHIPPED, like he’s panicking inside, fucking sweating

“Yeah? How will you convince me?”

Stepping closer to him, you whisper your deprived thoughts, reveling in the way he shudders

Yeah…

You were limping on your trip

Eris:

Eris had never felt so… conflicted in his life

He had never bent over backwards for someone or even let anyone occupy his mind the way you do

The first time you used your eyes to persuade him, he nearly stumbled backward, then attempted to ignore you because he felt weak.

Eris had no idea eyes could be so powerful, and he had a feeling he’d say yes to absolutely everything and anything you wanted

After a few times, he stopped feeling so conflicted and started looking forward to your little manipulation sessions

You had attempted to seduce him all day, but he insisted on working, especially since he had recently ascended to the position of High Lord and had a mountain of paperwork to tackle.

Walking into his office, you strutted around, touching his belongings and casually perusing through the documents on his desk.

Eventually, you got closer to his table and bent over, acting like you needed something.

Eris looked up only to be met with a sight full of your tits. Sighing, he looked up at you with a secret smile,

“I know what you’re doing, sweet thing.”

“ What? Is it a crime to help my mate with his work?”

You look at him with round eyes, your head slightly lowered as your eyes do the talking

His eyes, simmering with desire, traced every curve of your form as a sultry smile played on his lips, creating tension that sizzled with heat.

“Do you remember the last time you gave me those eyes, love?”

Fuck yeah, you do. He had fucked you stupid for hours, in every part of the Forrest House, showing you new levels of pleasure you hadn’t even considered, eyes rolling into the back of your head everytime he pumped into you

Your body shuddered at the memory, body aching for more. Giving him your most desperate, doe-eyed expression, you ask your mate for more

“What if I want it to happen again?”

Giving you a once over with raised brows, his handsome face breaks into a foxy smile as he signals you to come closer

Biting your lips to hide your smile, you oblige, helping him relieve his tension and stress

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scorpioriesling · 7 months ago

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Ideal Mate + Ideal Date HC

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Reader x Rhysand / Cassian / Azriel / Lucien / Eris / Tamlin

Warnings: fluff, some light allusions to smut and brief suggestive scenes, light swearing

Summary: Headcannons/drabbles for (my idea!) what the "ideal" mate for each character is, with an ideal date for the two of them as well.

SR’s Note: Just another little idea I had, pls don't hate on me <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Rhysand

You would have to catch his eye because you're "different" in some way from other females

Whether it is because you are human, you are creative, you are undeniably brave and don't care who sees it... he is enraptured by you

All of these things intimidate him a little bit, which is why he has to learn about you from afar first before he can finally meet you

He is so nervous when he finally introduces himself, but unashamedly peers inside your head to see if you're even the least bit intrigued in him as he is by you

He's glad he did, and had nothing to worry about; you've fallen at first sight

He makes a point to learn things you like; he has tried to teach himself how to paint, but gets frustrated that it is one of the only things he can't master

He already asked you for an evening by the sidra to paint and have a picnic; too early, though as now he is realizing he is no good at the skill you excel in

"I just want you to know, painting isn't something I'm very talented in doing..."

You get butterflies realizing the most powerful and dangerous High Lord could be so nervous on a first date with a human female

"Allow me to help you, then."

He melts when your fingers hold his on the brush, only using one canvas as you paint a picture together instead of two separate ones

He can barely focus, your jasmine scent so close as you sit side by side on the soft grass by the river in the moonlight. He's not even focusing on the painting, but on your side profile instead, so intrigued in your work, the way your brows furrow in concentration

The moonlight illuminates the soft freckles on your nose; he wants to lean in and kiss each one of them

"No wonder you do not paint very well; you don't seem to have a strong sense of focus," you smirk

Cassian

He didn't want to like you when he met you, but somehow... he couldn't help himself

Your icy stare, the way you carried yourself, your strong sense of independence... you made it clear you didn't want any man

But he wanted you

At first he didn't know how to act around you, usually the fae he took interest in were kind and welcoming... but you had a bite that would send every male in Prythian screaming. He wasn't sure how to make you like him

He tried kindness; he earned a scowl. He tried buying you things; another sour look. He even tried inviting you to things, so you'd feel less isolated; all that got him was rejection, every time. Finally, he'd had enough

"What is it with you? Why won't you let anyone in? I get it, your family sucks, but-"

"Oh, please. You know nothing about me or my family." You'd spat

"Yeah! You're right, I don't," he heaves. "I don't... you don't tell me. You don't let a single person in. You don't talk to me, or tell me anything, or," he huffs a laugh. "Gods, I mean. You wouldn't step back and realize that someone cares so much for you, or see that I've just been trying to get you to love me back all along!" He'd throw his hands in the air, and they'd fall to his sides

You stand there, frozen in shock. You really could not believe what you were hearing, coming from Cassian, of all people

One minute, you're contemplating how to go about all this. Then, the next minute, you're not thinking at all

You're closing the distance, two steps at a time, throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips onto his. His large hands grasp your waist, holding you tight to him

You pull away and stare up into his wide, hazel eyes, boring into yours in utter disbelief

"Y/N... I can't do this if you're not serious about-"

"Take me out then. I'll show you just how serious I can be." His chest rises and falls, and he just shakes his head and lets out a suprised chuckle

"You'd really go out with me?" He asks, playfully. You roll your eyes in response, your usual irritation returning to your face

"Rita's in 30." You pull away from him and saunter off toward your room in the House of Wind, feeling his gaze on your swaying hips. You were already planning out a rather scandalous outfit for tonight, involving a tiny red dress hanging in your closet...

"You better stop staring at my ass, Cassie, or I might just change my mind." You call over your shoulder. He prectically clutches his chest with his hand

You were going to be the death of him

Azriel

Hear me out -- Azzie is attracted to someone who is originally viewed as very naive and harmless, but has a confident and brave side as well

He would see you from afar, wearing a pretty dress, a big bow in your hair while you walk along the streets in Velaris with your friends

Your smile has this man blushing!! and he doesn't even know you yet, but he knows he must have you

"You okay man?" Cassian asks, and Azriel cooly plays it off as being too hot in the mid-day sun. Cassian just gives a confused "whatever", but Rhysand says nothing as he knows exactly what is happening here

"I need a drink, and since Azriel is so warm," Rhysand side eyes his friend, smirking. Azriel immediately starts sweating. He knows Rhys is up to something, and Azriel has been casually observing you the whole morning that he's been in Velaris. You'd just gone into the small coffee shop, the one adorned with peonies outside; one Rhys was guiding the group of bat boys closer to. "...why don't we stop in here for some refreshments?"

He thinks his heart is going to fall out of his ass right now. He couldn't go in there -- you were already in there, and he was in no position to be talking to you right now

"Rhys, I uh, I don't know if I want coffee right now," he stutters quietly. Rhys chuckles, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Cassian looks between the two, still confused

"Ohhhhh Az," he sighs. "I'm sure they have water in there, and I am rather thirsty myself. Say, Cassian looks parched too -- why don't you go in and get us three waters, hmm?" Rhysand asks. Azriel glares at Rhys

"I know. What. You're doing." He says, voice clipped. Cassian scrunches his face behind the two of them.

"I mean, I'll go in and get 'em, I am kinda hot now that you mentioned the sun-" Cassian starts. Rhys puts a hand up, stopping his Illyrian friend and shaking his head. A wicked smile plays on his lips.

"No no, Azriel said he would go. We'll just wait outside..." He slinks over to a small table, and Cassian plops down in a chair, seeming to ask Rhys what was going on. The High Lord only stares between Azriel and the front door, silently ushering him to go inside. Azriel growls, forcing one foot in front of the other before he is finally opening the door and entering the small shop

The scent of roasting coffee beans and vanilla cream wafts through the air, the smell intoxicaitng and fresh. It only takes Azriel a moment to spot you, the blue and ivory sundress hugging you stunningly and the cream bow a stark contrast against your rich, flowing hair. He glances toward the window, and meets the eyes of both Rhysand and Cassian. Cassian gives him a cheesy thumbs up, and Azriel rolls his eyes as he heads towards the front counter. You're at the other end, waiting on your order

"Hi! How may I help you?" The cheery older woman behind the counter greets him. He can barely focus on anything, let alone the fae in front of him engaging in conversation when you're closer than you've been all day to him

"Three waters..." he says. The older lady follows his line of sight, a small smile pulling at her lips as she begins to chuckle

"I'll have those right out for you," hes still staring, and she shakes her head, continuing to smile at him. "Her name is Y/N."

This snaps him out of his daze. He looks to the cashier once more. "Y/N?" He repreats. The name has never sounded so lovely. Maybe it wouldn't have, but now he knows it belongs to you. The woman nods her head

"Yes, Shadowsinger." His lips part, but no words come out. "And, she is here every day around lunch time. Unwed. So... I'd suggest you go over there and do something about that, hmm?" Azriel can't hide the heat on his cheeks as the woman winks at him, turning to get working on a few orders. That was his turn to walk away, walk over to you...

As he approaches your side in the waiting area, his breath quickens. He can't help but notice you're alone, your friends have gone outside and oh-so-conveniently struck up a conversation with his two brothers.

Bastards.

"I don't think I've ever waited this long for a drink from here in my life," you say quietly, chuckling at the end. He only blinks, not sure if what he was hearing was true. Were you really speaking to him?

He turns to you, only to find you already gazing up at him. He can't help but smile, revealing his perfect teeth as he fumbles for what to say back

"Do you, come here? Often?" He asks. He already knew the answer, but...

"Almost every day!" You beam. "And you?"

He shakes his head. "First time in."

You nod slowly. "Oh... my. Well, I hope you've tried something delicious for your first experience." You grace him with another small grin, and he feels like he might melt at the sight. He hadn't realized how close you'd stepped, or maybe he had? Only mere inches separated-

"Three waters!" The cashier calls, setting down the three glasses in front of Azriel. His cheeks heat as he stares at them, the wide-eyed expression from his new crush not going unnoticed. It isn't long before the most lovely sound is filling his ears though.

You were giggling beside him.

"Oh... my..." you say between breaths. Azriel sighs, leaving the three cups on the counter and facing you. He can't help but let loose a chuckle himself, and your cheeks redden at the sight of him

"Well, it seems I'll need to come back and actually try something next time..." He says. You continue to giggle, trying hard to calm down and peer down at the floor, shaking your head.

"Hey, I've got a lot of great suggestions, but..." the cashier silently sets down your drink in front of you, and you pick it up. "...plain water maybe isn't one of them." You grin. Azriel grabs his water, taking a long swig and you wished that perhaps it was you on his lips instead-

You turned to walk toward the door, your new companion keeping up with you and holding the door open for you to exit. You open your mouth to thank him, but he beats you to it

"Maybe you can show me what you'd suggest? Next time?" Your wide eyes gaze up at him, his hazel ones squinting in the midday sun. The breeze lightly brushes his black hair across his tanned forehead, and you try really hard to supress the grin spreading across your face

"I'd meet you here tomorrow, but;" you hesitate. "Well, uh, I have ring training tomorrow at this time... but maybe the day following?" You look at him sheepishly. He looks as if he is ready to fall to his knees in front of you

"I'll be here, the day following." You rise on your tippy toes, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before skipping off to meet your friends. His eyes trail after you, his cheek tingling from where your lips made contact. He doesn’t register his brothers rising from the table and approaching him

“So uh… where are our drinks, Az?”

Lucien

Classic, but Lucie is going to fall for someone (kind of like Az) who is very soft and kind but can also hold her own

He is also going to rizz the shit out of you... but I feel like that is already a given

I feel like he would actually meet you in the Day Court when he's there on an assignment, and you'd be one of Helion's advisor's daughters and he would immediately be drawn to you

The gold and white dress and accessories you'd appeared in... oh he's down bad

He saw you at first in a group setting, not really being able to keep his eyes off of you but then later he spotted you near a pond of sunlight and couldn't walk away

He was walking closer, and noticed you actually weren't alone but were actually comforting a small child who appeared upset near the pool's edge. The boy stood, peering down at you on your knees as you ran your thumbs across his cheeks. Lucien leaned against a nearby tree, not wanting to interrupt, but also so intrigued by the scene in front of him

"There is no need to worry, sweetheart," your tender words pulled at something deep in Lucien's chest, though you weren't speaking to him at all. The little one sniffled and nodded, staring deep into your eyes. "I know it is frightening when we are lost, but look," you give the boy an award winning smile and Lucien feels like his heart is singing for you already. "...I've found you, and you're safe here! You know?" You say. He reaches out his little arms and braces them around your neck, hands tangling in your cascade of curls. You pull him in close, not letting go until he does

You take his precious fingers in yours, and he walks closely beside you as you make your way back to the palace. "Now, let's go find your mommy, okay honey?"

Lucien swears he could cry, hes never seen anyone so kind and gentle. He couldn't imagine having someone like that to love, and made the decision then that he would be introducing himself to you later that evening, properly

And when he does... ohhhh he charms you. It wasn't hard for you to fall for Lucien as quickly as he fell for you; he practically screamed "husband material"

He'd taken you on many dates, but the one that was the most special was when he brought you to a waterfall on horseback, just before sunset. He tied your shared horse to a tree, and led you to a small alcove where a small picnic was pre-set, the sunset streaming through the falling water just right (thank you, Helion). Apple pie, roasted turkey, and autumnal wine adorned the small blanket, as well as a little golden box in the middle. Your hand flew to your mouth

"I know the sunset and these falls make you who you are in the Day Court," Lucien says sheepishly as he guides you to the spread. You take your seats and he doesn't let go of your hand. "I wanted to show you a little bit of what makes me who I am too..." he trails off. You can't help the silver lining your eyes as you take in the scene around you

"Autumn and Day... who would've thought." You smile at him, and he reaches for the box. Opening it, he pulls out a thin golden necklace with a sun symbol on it.

"I love you to great lengths, Y/N," You only then notice as he is unclasping it that he already adorns one of the same around his neck.

"I don't want to leave you, or this place anymore," he says, reaching behind your neck to fasten the clasp. He breathes in your hibiscus scent, and his fingers trail down the side of your cheek. You can't help but let a tear slip free, realizing you'd never have to say goodbye again

"I won't ever leave you, or this court, again."

Eris

You caught the attention of Eris because you were plain

Literally

Eris was so excited (but, confused?) because he'd never genuinely loved a female beyond his sexual encounters, then he'd met you and you'd absolutely ruined everyone else for him

You were overlooked by everyone, which made you feel horrible most of your life, but Eris treated you like a queen, and he appreciated your simplicity and liked how uncomplicated you were

You were not even High Fae; which didn't go over well with Beron, but Eris didn't care. You made him feral. He'd kill his own father for you if it meant spending the rest of eternity with you.

His father was always trying to marry him off with other High Fae or noble females, but they were always too much to handle or too bratty and stuck up to Eris

He also didn't appreciate his father telling him who he would be allowed to chose and who he couldn't

But boy oh boy, did he choose you

He liked to keep your outings private, so no one would be able to swoop in and ruin the time you had together

But, that did not stop him from going all out for you and giving you all of the things you did not get to indulge in

He definately used his status to his advantage...

Your favorite date to go on -- a repeat date, as it was a shared favorite -- was to the orchard. Eris would spoil you by taking you shopping the day prior (you'd almost always choose a crimson or maroon sundress with matching flats) for a new outfit, and you'd wear said outfit the next day

You'd always wear one of his rings, though the two of you were not yet properly wed, and the sight of it made him weakkkkk I am telling you weak

He'd reserve the orchard for the day, and the two of you would ride on the wagon, share warm cider, and walk along the treelines as you both did when you were just young children

Obviously there would be apple picking, and he'd purposefully wander near a tree with ones dangling higher than you could grasp

"Eris, I can't-" you huff, stretching an arm up and dancing on your tip toes in search of the hanging fruit on a branch out of your reach. His eyes would wander, taking in your bare legs as your short dress rode up higher on your thighs-

Ughhhhh, this is not the place, Eris

"Allow me, my love." He would bend down, hiking you up on his shoulder and standing at his full height, arm bent and wrapped around your knees as you sat atop his shoulderblade. You'd wobble a bit, but, now you could reach the Honeycrisp you'd been going for.

Reaching toward branch, you grab on and yank. Seeing it glimmering in the warm September sun, you can't help but to bite into it, a satisfying crunch as a tiny drop of juice trails from the corner of your lips. A satisfied "hmmm" escapes your throat as you close your eyes, but the male beneath you catches on to what you're doing

"Heyyy," Eris slides you off his shoulder, hands firmly gripping your hips and gently setting you on your feet. Your spun around to face him, and he smirks down at you. Your now wide eyes stare into his amber ones as he leans in, licking the drop near your mouth and then leaning in close to your ear

His breath was warm on your neck, and a shiver ran down your spine as goosebumps appeared on your arms. His warm hands trailed up and down your upper arms, his voice low and husky. "These are for picking -- I thought we could eat... later..."

Tamlin

So... stay with me here on this one. Tam Tam is getting a mate that has a power dynamic that is going to absolutely match his okay

Whatever energy you give me, I'm matching it... that is the dynamic that this duo is giving here

Also... I feel like after Feyre, he would pull a complete 180 and be with someone who would put him in his place from the very beginning

His previous relationship really messed him up, but after he healed from that... he absolutely changed for the better I feel like. I think he would be with someone who would keep him in check, remind him when he's acting out, and almost maybe scare him a little? Kind of like Cassian and his ideal mate lol

Except... his ideal girlie would also be maybe just a tad unhinged

Just like him

It's alright... we love to see it

Anyways

His mate would be very modernly beautiful, I feel like; what comes to mind when you think of "society's beautiful". Not fake, however. Just very blessed, and just born this way -- lucky her! Lol

This, of course, caught Tamlin and the entirety of the Spring Court's eye

He was not very intimidated by his ideal mate, at first, but when he got to know you a little bit better, he wanted to do everything right and not screw anything up like last time

If he did mess up, or do things that were genuinely wrong or out of line... oh did he hear about it. You definitely kept him in check

Yet, another reason the Spring Court loved you

He did get easily jealous of other males, High Fae and lesser faeries alike for looking at you too long, talking to you, and fawning over you of course

Who wouldn't?

He'd wrap his arm around you a little tighter when in public, or kiss you literally right on the mouth in the middle of the square if people were staring at you for longer than he'd like

But, you honestly didn't care. You reveled in it, the attention you got from others, which in turn, drove him wild and would lead to his posessiveness of you taking over-

Phew... yeah uhm

Dating... he wouldn't even bother making dates private. He liked showing you off, even though other guys looking at you made him nuts

You liked public dates, because you liked to be shown off, and again, his posessiveness was so sexy and would usually lead to a great time (in PRIVATE, of course) once the nice lil date was over

You'd make it even better by wearing something fun for him when he'd take you out. Let's say... dinner, for example

You'd start sitting across the booth from each other, both recieving polite hello's and compliments from every faerie who passed your table. You'd of course return them; one thing he'd picked up from you was your politeness and manners

After a little while of spending time together and him gazing into your eyes, he'd seem a little... distracted... and slip into the same side of the booth with you instead, just to be closer to you

It didn't really help his case, but he really liked the smell of wildflower and honey that seemed to radiate from you

He'd have one arm around your shoulders, tracing small circles on your skin with his finger and you’d giggle because it tickled

But it also distracted you from his other hand slowly tracing up your thigh...

...and under your short, oh so short skirt...

Finally, you'd caught onto what he was doing and sat up straight, the corset top you'd expertly paired with this outfit for this reason alone doing you justice as his gaze flicked down to where it curved low below your collarbone. A soft growl graced the shell of your ear, and you only chuckled as his hot breath tickled the side of your neck

"You didn't put anything on under this... did you?"

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elainsgirl · 1 month ago

Note

in regard to your 'shadows hide from elain' post,

yes that's what i was wondering as well, the whole vanish aspect, because that means azriel's shadows (metaphorically also his darkness and demons and everything) just go poof in front of elain, which is obviously a good thing in the way that he can fully be just azriel without the bad, she makes him that comfortable.

but as far as that goes the shadows are a part of azriel (as has been said multiple times) and if they feel comfortable enough to reach out and sing and dance with gwyn, doesn't that show that azriel with all his darkness and shadows, is accepted by gwyn and she in turn by his shadows?

besides i also thought that in all of az's descriptions of elain, he just talks about her physical beauty and the lust he feels towards her, which i thought showed just physical, bodily attraction and in elain, the desire to make her own choice instead of the one that had been made for her (lucien) with gwyn, he i think talked more about her as a person along with her hair, eyes etc.

im curious to know what u think of those descriptions! im not trying to negate you or pick a fight, just stating my perception of that chapter <33

Hey anon!

Thank you for sending your ask, I appreciate hearing other peoples interpretations.

Let’s start off with understanding exactly what Azriels shadows are - condensed form of sentient magic.

Let’s also recap: That Gwyn does have some form of magic within her - whether you want to consider her a LS or another potential magical being, it doesn’t matter, she does have magic. In acosf - when Nesta is around Gwyn, she feels a crackling sort of energy around Gwyn which her powers grumbled in answer too, We also know that gwyn’s magic is intertwined with her singing/music in some form. A single shadow - not shadowS, darted out, danced with Gwyn’s exhaled breath as if it heard some silent music before coming back to Azriel. The thing is, does this really give you a sense of playfulness? Or is it clear Azriel’s magic - just like Nesta’s- is reacting to Gwyn? Here is a link of a post I made where I compared this with scenes of other mates where musical imagery is used: Feel free to check it out. Another thing Id like to say is: The shadows don’t sing with gwyn but they hear singing - and simply respond back. Each time, the shadows are responding to something about Gwyn. Just like Nesta’s powers respond to whatever magic Gwyn has - both these scenes are parallels with the same context. If one is romantic so is the other which we know can’t be the case since…well im pretty sure Sjm didn’t set up Nesta x Gwyn to be romantic in acosf, haha.

I would say the shadows are curious about Gwyn and Gwyn was definitely more interestsed in Azriel’s shadows and title then the man himself- but none of this is definitive to be romantic. Nesta was curious about Gwyn in acosf, as readers we are also interested to see what magic Gwyn has to have both Azriel & Nesta react to her - I think the shadows, which are another form of magic, reflect that too. Because there IS something magical about Gwyn.

I disagree with the shadows accepting Gwyn, I think they’re curious about her thats all. It isnt bad thing or a good thing. If Sjm truly wanted it to be romantic we all know she’s more then capable of giving us more then a single shadow reacting with Gwyns breath, for example, she could have had Az notice how sad gwyn looked so his shadowS darted out to play, twirling around her. Weaving in and out of her hair - gwyn laughs and the shadows swayed as if enjoying the sound etc.

Another thing- Elain has not once shown fear or rejection at Azriel’s shadows/advances.

This is the same woman who looked at his scars/armour and called it beautiful, who stepped out of shadows herself to stab the king. Who took Azriel’s hands without hesitation- Just from the books, Id say its made more clearer that Elain has accepted Azriel where as with Gwyn…she’s just seems to be interested in the shadows. Another thing: Az is more then his shadows. Elain fell in love w Az for who he was, it had nothing to do with his shadows. Isn’t that more romantic? As for the second half: Azriel describes Gwyns molten hair, he attempts at conversations which end up being mundane as both Gwyn and Az give half-hearted answers, he lies to Gwyn which she doesn’t detect. With Gwyn, he needed a distraction which was provided. What I find interesting is AFTER the session, not once does he think about Gwyn. It would have been so much more romantic if Az had intended to go to the library to specifically give Gwyn the necklace. Instead he finds himself there, wouldn’t call her a friend. The only potentiallly romantic thing id say happened is when he feels the spark and glow in his chest for the image of gwyns smile yet Nothing after solstice changes between Gwyn and Az. I mentioned this before: Sjm didn’t need to show us how much they care - even in the bonus, Elain & Az can read each other without words, we find out he’s been staring at the powder every single day, he laughs at Elains new earplug gift, we find out how much he’s struggling to stay away from Elain and then how eluciens’ bond is affecting him. Like with Cassians bonus’ the point of Azriels was to confirm to us readers who he is attracted too. Which is Elain. I understand people expected more, but we have 4 books + a bonus of elriel scenes that show us how much they like each other. If it was just lust & superficial - Az and Elain would have done it already.

Let’s remember- elriel’s love confession & how they feel about each other will be written for their book available to everyone. Not in a partially available bonus,

To end off, If Elain doesn’t love Azriel but is chhosing him to make her own choice: Sjm could’ve written Elain being conflicted and still drawn to Lucien to show she isn’t fully into Az - ofc I have more thoughts on this but this has already gotten way to long and im pretty sure ive lost your interest.

Im so sorry this is long but this is just my interpretation ✨

#gwyn berdara #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acosf #elain archeron #anti gwynriel #azriel bonus chapter

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kristeristerin · 2 years ago

Note

Hello, I really love how you came up with a collection of drabbles for ACOTAR x Taylor Swift (what an amazing idea!) - is it ok if I request Lucien x reader x You Belong with Me? Thank you very much!

AN- Thank you for the prompt! <3 I hope you like what I wrote.

As always asks are open for prompts!

Song: You Belong with Me

Pairing: Reader X Lucien

Content Warning: None

Words: 1K

I frown as the scene before me unfolds. Lucien is standing awkwardly beside Elain, holding out a gift. She silently takes it and mumbles her thanks before moving her attention back to Azriel.

She doesn’t even open it.

When my eyes slide back to Lucien he is already looking at me. I raise a brow, but he simply shakes his head and exits the room. I sigh, closing my eyes and counting to 20 before getting up to follow him.

I find him in the kitchen, leaning up against a counter. He turns as I enter the room and lets out a relieved sigh when he notices it’s me. “I’m fine”

He looks anything but fine. His hair is falling from where he usually has it gathered at the nape of his neck and his eyes are rimmed in red.

“Want to get out of here?” I ask, bumping my shoulder into his as I come to stand beside him. He nods and reaches down to intertwine his fingers with mine before leading me toward the front door of the River House. We barely make it to the road before he winnows us to the middle of Velaris.

I let out a content sigh as we walk hand in hand through the empty city square. I shiver when Lucien squeezes my hand. He mistakes it as a reaction to the cold winter air and lets go of my hand long enough to shrug out of his coat and wrap it around my shoulders.

“Are you not going to be cold, Lucien?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.

He chuckles and leads me toward the bench at the edge of the Sidra. “Nah, Autumn Court, remember?” He winks at me and pulls me down to sit beside him. “I have fire in my veins.”

When he wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side I can’t help but lean further into his warmth. We sit and watch the river for a few minutes, seemingly lost in our thoughts before he breaks the silence.

“It’s stupid, isn’t it?”

I move so I can look up at him, “What’s stupid?”

He runs a hand through his hair and pulls at the locks as he sighs. “It’s stupid that after all of this time, I keep trying. I keep thinking that maybe this bond will be more than a cruel joke, and maybe Elain will deign to look at me. Instead, here I am wasting the attention I could be giving to someone who might actually love me on a female who doesn’t even see me.”

“Why do you do it?” My voice is quiet, but he pulls away from me as if I’d burned him.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Lucien shakes his head as he stands up from the bench. “I used to think that it was because I truly care about her, but now I’m afraid that I’m only still here due to a warped sense of loyalty.”

I want to reach out to him, but something about the way he’s shaking has me thinking better of it. I purse my lips and contemplate my next words carefully. “If you were to break the bond and stop pursuing her, would you still come to Velaris?”

He seemed to think about that for a moment before he shook his head. “I don’t think so. I feel like they barely tolerate me as is, and if I broke the bond there isn’t anything else drawing me here.”

“Oh,” my shoulders sag and I look away from him. “I should probably get back to the party. Feyre will be wondering where I got off to. Will you stop by and see me tomorrow before you leave?”

A strange look crosses his face, but it’s gone before I can discern what it means. “Of course. Good Night. Happy Solstice.”

“Happy Solstice, Lucien.” I whisper back before abandoning all thoughts of the party and instead winnowing back to my apartment.

When I realize I still have his coat I just pull it tighter around me and head toward my bedroom. I lose myself in his scent as I cry myself to sleep.

—------------------------

It’s early the next morning when a banging on my door wakes me up. I grumble as I pull myself out of my bed and toward the front door. I’m rubbing the sleep from my eyes when I look up and see Lucien staring at me wide-eyed.

“Good morning,” he said slowly as he pulled a cup of coffee from the carrier he held in his left hand. “I was hoping we could talk. I brought coffee.”

I took the offered coffee and turned back into my apartment, leaving the door open for him to follow. It wasn’t until we were seated on my couch that I realized I was still wearing his coat. I began to shrug it off but stopped when he held a hand up and shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke after a moment, “I didn’t mean to upset you last night. Honestly, I hadn’t considered that you’d be upset about the idea of me not coming back to the night court. I have spent so much time being the best friend that I hadn’t considered the idea that you could return my feelings. I was too scared to voice those opinions and risk losing the one person in this court that didn’t look at me with either pity or contempt. I was stupid, but if you can forgive me for my thoughtless words, I’d like to make it up to you.”

I blinked several times as the meaning of his words sunk in, “Your feelings?” I finally managed to say.

Lucien nodded, a soft smile spreading across his face. “I love you.” he ran a hand through his hair and left it to rest on the back of his neck. “I’ve loved you for a while now if I’m being honest. I pursued Elain because I thought that’s what was expected of me, but we aren’t what the other wants. After I break the bond with Elain, can I still visit you? Can I come to Velaris and walk with you along the Sidra and take you on dates to all of your favorite spots?”

I brushed away tears as I nod, “I’d love that, Lucien.”

#lucien vanserra #lucien x reader #lucien x you #acotar fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar fic

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daydreamingatnight209 · 4 years ago

Text

Okay so this was a passion project that I really wanted to write, I probably won’t do another and I still don’t feel comfortable writing smut for other people so please do not request it!

Minors please do not read or engage with this post as it is for 18+ only!

Also a big thank you to @erin-bo-berin for helping and encouraging me to continue this project!

Feedback is always welcome! ✨💕

“Alpha-Male Bullshit”

Part 1

Azriel x Female Reader - Part 1

Fandom - ACOTAR

Warnings - Violence, sexual themes, 18+ only, minor spoilers for ACOSF, angst and fluff! 💞☁️

———————————————————————

Lucien Vanserra was a terrible flirt; not because he wasn’t good at it, but because he was constantly flirting with me.

In the beginning I went along with it; I was bored and felt lonely. Cassian had Nesta, everyone knew Rhys had Feyre and Nyx their sweet baby boy, Elain kept busy with her garden and I barely saw our spymaster.

I split my time between training and reading in my chambers.

So, what harm could a bit of flirty banter do between friends?

I didn’t think it would do anything, but Lucien is certainly consistent.

I had a rare free day and found myself in a quiet corner of the library ran by the High Priestess ,Clotho.

It was one of my favourite places to be. The noise in my head stopped, all the pressure and responsibility’s for the court just faded away. I am transported to a land far away.

I was halfway through a steamy romance that Nesta had given me a couple of days ago. We stayed up most nights talking about books and how Cassian had made it his mission to try each technique in the book for Nesta’s pleasure. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what he was doing, Nesta made that very clear but it was certainly good fun. It made me laugh but it also flushed my body with an incredible sadness. These books were about as close of a love life that I had.

I was lost in my head and the fictional visions that I created with the words on the page when I heard a familiar voice. It made me jump slightly and I heard his deep laugh.

“I knew Nesta loved smut, but I didn’t think your innocent little mind liked it...but then again, I’m sure that pretty little mouth isn’t all that innocent is it?”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and turn to face him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, my dear”

I smirk and snap my book back open.

“Are you hoping to live out some of those scenes in those books of Nesta’s like she now is?”

I don’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. A moment passed and I feel his breath on my neck.

“If so, you know where to find me.” He whispers in my ear, before pressing a nimble kiss on my neck and spinning on his heel to walk away.

I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and groaned in frustration.

Placing my bookmark back in between the pages, I rose from the chair and left the comforting walls of the library, waving goodbye to the passing priestesses.

I wander aimlessly around the property, taking in the cool atmosphere. The training ring was empty, or so I thought. As I approached it, I spotted a familiar stature. His shadows swirling around his figure as he went through his training exercises.

I sat on the rocks beside the ring as he comes to a stand-still.

“Are you okay Y/N?” He asks softly.

I smile and rub my eyes.

“Yes, I’m just hiding from Lucien. He’s definitely spending way too much time with Rhys and Cassian. He sounds exactly like them.

But , maybe flirting with him could be fun. No one else pays much attention around here to me anyway”

Wherever Azriel goes in his head, my remark seemed to snap him away from his flyaway thoughts.

His eyes blazed and he took a warrior stance. He chest puffed and looked ready to fly at a moments notice.

“Do you need me to have a word with him?”

I couldn’t help but giggle at his overprotective response.

“No Az, it’s okay. I don’t think he fancies losing his other eye. Thank you anyway”

He just nods and returns back to his exercises.

I take this as my cue to leave.

————————————

Nesta finds me in my room later that evening and informs me that Rhys has planned a family dinner and I am required to attend.

She then prances off to her own chambers.

I rummage through my closet and pick out a gown that had fallen down the back.

It was a deep blue, that sparkled in the correct light. It plunged, exposing more of my breasts than usual and the slit started just passed my thigh, with the material of the dress hugging my body tightly.

Mor had gifted it to me last winter solstice but I hadn’t had a chance to wear it yet. No time like the present, I suppose.

I didn’t have time to style my hair dramatically, so I let my long light brown curls fall loosely down my back.

I fiddled around to find a matching bag and heels before slowly descending down the glass staircase.

All eyes were on me as I entered the dining room. The room was eerily silent.

Panic slowly begins to envelope me.

“It’s not too much is it?” I squeak.

Lucien stands and almost knocks down his chair.

“Absolutely not! My god Y/N I thought the wine would be what loosened my tongue tonight, but it looks like that dress is what’s gonna do it instead.

Unbeknown to me, Azriel’s shadows swamped around, doing their best to keep my modesty protected from Lucien’s lewd comments.

“All bark, no bite Lucien. What a shame” I shoot back and take my place beside Elain.

Azriel was seated across from Elain and did his best to contain his rage against Lucien.

I noticed this sudden shift of tension in the room between the two males but decided that now was not the time to bring it up. Especially not in front of the family.

Elain however didn’t seem to have this incentive and piped up.

“Are you okay, Az?” She asks sweetly. She attempts to take his hand. Azriel lets her hold his hand for a millisecond, before quickly pulling away.

I knew he was insecure about his hands and how they have seen years of battle, yet that wasn’t what bothered me most.

What bothered me most, was hearing my nickname for Azriel fall out of Elain’s mouth so casually.

It wasn’t that I disliked Elain, in fact I was happy for her. She is happy and healthy, was quick to adapt to the ways of Fae and everyone in the court had watched her confidence grow tremendously.

Yes, I was happy for her. Yet every time I caught her talking with Azriel, a wave of jealousy would come over me.

Elain didn’t want Lucien and Azriel didn’t want me, not in that way at least.

Everyone was on their way to a happy ending... everyone but me.

I let out a small cough and continue with the evening. Lucien kept up with his filthy ways and I kept up my responses. Cassian laughed with Rhys and Feyre discussed baby clothes with Nesta.

It felt as time had stopped, as I drunk in moment.

Eventually everyone slid off one by one. Amren and Varian first and soon the rest followed.

Mor invited me to her room so that we could spend some time together. I respectfully declined, desperate to climb into my bed.

——————————

Azriel couldn’t sleep. He stood on the balcony and stared into the distance. It was a clear night, the stars shined brightly above him.

As trained as Azriel was, he was still no match for his High Lord’s stealth.

Not that he would admit it to anymore, but his heart missed a beat when he suddenly heard Rhysand’s voice boom behind him.

“Okay Az, what the hell is going on around here? Seriously I have Elain basically drooling over you, Lucien Vanserra flirting with y/n and she’s flirting BACK, and you’re strung tighter than an Illyrian bow”

Azriel wasn’t ready to admit the truth but if he didn’t soon then he had no idea how the hell he would cope, especially after seeing you at dinner earlier. It took all of his strength to remain seated and not knock Lucien from his seat. His cock had strained against his pants so much that it had become painful. He felt Ferrell and you didn’t have a clue.

So Azriel turned around, folded his wings, and stood straight.

“Y/N is my mate”

It took Rhysand a moment to adjust to what he had just heard.

He clapped his brother on the shoulder and cheered, but his celebration was short lived when he saw the sour look on Azriel’s face.

“Okay ... so why do look like you’ve just been slapped in the face with a fish?”

“Because she’s absolutely oblivious! You’ve seen it yourself, the way she is around Lucien. Just because his mate doesn’t want him doesn’t mean he is entitled to mine!” Azriel explodes and doesn’t give Rhys a chance to respond before he launches himself into the night sky.

He spends the night flying around the city before returning at early dawn.

He is surprised to find Y/N stood outside his bedroom door.

She spins around before he could call her name.

You flash a smile that could bring him to his knees.

“I felt your shadows behind me.” You giggle.

“Anyway, I am only here to tell you that Rhys and Feyre are heading down to the cabin for the night. I said we would look after baby Nyx. Is that okay?”

Azriel tried to focus on what you were saying and not your scent. He just nods in response and as you hop towards him. You fling your arms around him and hug.

Azriel just prayed to the saints that you couldn’t feel his member begging to be released beneath his trousers.

————————————————

Nyx was certainly a handful, he was growing quickly and wanted to explore the world. It didn’t take him long to figure out how to crawl which meant keeping him away from pretty much everything in the house. I was just glad he hadn’t learnt how to use his wings yet.

Eventually he powered down and settled in my lap, he was fed, clean and happy. Meanwhile I learnt that I definitely wasn’t ready for children yet.

“How is he?” Azriel yawned as Nyx’s eyes slowly dropped shut, his thumb in his mouth.

I cradled the small boy in my arms as Azriel sat beside me.

“I will go put him to bed in a moment, he just looks so peaceful” I whispered.

Az just laughed.

“You weren’t saying that before when he was destroying the place”

I roll my eyes and gently lift my body up from the sofa before walking to the nursery.

When I entered the living quarters again, I found Az with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Want one?” He asks.

I shrug. “Sure, why not”

We sat in a comfortable silence before I was brave enough to speak up.

“So, are you going to tell me why you have been so uptight lately? Is it work?”

Azriel’s comfortable posture, stiffens and he is back on high alert.

Seeing this, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

I shouldn’t force him to talk, it’s not like he’d want to open up to me anyway.

I decide to change the subject.

“Is it true that the bigger a wingspan, the bigger the dick?”

I watch as Azriel splutters and does his best not to leak his drink over the cream coloured carpet.

“I erm... what?!”

I laugh at the reaction and start to inch closer to him.

I’m high on liquid courage, no way would I ever do this sober.

“Feyre told me that fae wings are super sensitive”

I wrap my legs over each side and place myself down on his lap. He grips me in place and grunts slightly but doesn’t say anything.

I delicately run two fingers down his right wing, they are soft, almost like velvet, yet they shine when the light is right.

“Nesta even said that some men cum from a single touch... if in the right place” I whisper in his ear, placing small light kisses down his neck as my fingers continue to dance over every individual feather. His hips buck upwards involuntarily, and I smirk.

“Well it was something like that anyways”

I remove myself from his lap to drink from my wine glass. Azriel sat grinding his teeth, showing incredible restraint.

I head over to the kitchen and place the empty dishes and glasses in the sink, staying in just the right places so Az still got a full view.

He suddenly springs up from his own seat and follows me into the kitchen. He corners me and I try to remain stoic.

He picks me up like I weigh nothing and rests his body in between my legs.

He uses one hand to brush my hair out of my face and the other to casually trace patterns on my thigh.

His voice was low, and his shadows danced behind him.

“Rumour has it, the bigger the wingspan the bigger dick, right? Well Rhys likes to claim he has the biggest but one drunken night we measured... I’m forbidden to tell anyone this but… I won” he winks and suddenly pulls away acting so very nonchalant.

“The wing thing, I personally don’t know because apparently I haven’t had the right bed mate for that”

There was no stopping me after that. I hook my feet around his knees and use all my strength to pull his body back to mine.

Our faces crash together as we kiss and our tongues battle for dominance. My hands roam his body as I slip them under his shirt. His hands copy my actions and I couldn’t help but groan into him as he gets familiar.

Eventually we pull away for air and our eyes lock for what felt like forever and a day. This unfamiliar feeling of euphoria rushed over my body, attacking my senses. It attacked every inch of me. It felt as if my soul would burst open for the world to see.

The sudden panic that came straight after snapped me back into reality. I broke away from the male in front of me as I gasped for air. Silent tears ran down my face.

I pushed Azriel away with force and ran from the room.

“I’m sorry, I am so sorry I can’t-“

I ran to my room and collapsed down the back of the door.

What was happening?

———————————————————

PART 2 is on its way!!

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sodamnradd · 4 years ago

Text

After reading ACOSF I have an unpopular ship prediction for Nesta *SPOILERS BELOW*

Okay so I just finished ACOSF and I don’t think Nesta x Cassian are endgame...

Long-winded explanation with quotes for proof below!

I think Nesta and Eris are going to happen.

Here are the reasons why (my opinions of course and I could be totally wrong but):

Maas is the queen of jumping ship and Cassian was the perfect set-off for Nesta. She needed to train and heal, just as Dorian and Chaol filled that void for Aelin in Throne of Glass.

Nesta’s mother always told her she’d end up with a prince. If Feyre’s mate is the most powerful High Lord, does it really make sense for someone as powerful and badass as Nesta to end up with a General? I love Cassian-- but is he epic enough for Nesta? PLUS Lanthys’s vision showed Nesta on a throne, ruling a kingdom. Foreshadowing?

Which leads me to when Az and Cassian tell Rhys he should be High King but he refuses. What if it’s not Rhys’s place? What if there should be a High Queen and it’s Nesta?

Besides making Cassian jealous what was the point of Nesta dancing with Eris? It’s a waste of a scene solely for the purpose of Cassian’s jealousy. The reader is well aware he’s into her at this point you don’t need a jealous scene to prove it. (See quotes below to show all the details jammed into Nesta and Eris’s dances for proof).

I suspect Rhys is aware of the possibility of Nesta and Eris, which is perhaps why he is so weary of Nesta in the first place. She may very well crush Cassian’s heart

In Azriel’s bonus chapter, he mentions that it doesn’t make sense for Elain to be mated to Lucien while Nesta and Feyre’s mates are in the Night Court. But, what if Nesta’s place is also in Autumn? The Cauldron Made Nesta more than a High Fae, it’s not out of the question for her to have more than one mate. Especially because Elain was also Made and is Lucien’s mate.

At the end of the book, Cassian and Nesta don’t do the mating ceremony yet which means there’s a chance it won’t happen. OR if it does, it’s not to say Nesta doesn’t have the fiery spirit to walk away from her mate.

BESIDES so much can be done with Eris’s character! He is misunderstood, just like Nesta. She is constantly telling herself that Cassian is too good for her, would she feel that way with someone like Eris? Is it healthy to feel that way about your partner? I think Eris and Nesta have a lot of commonalities and will ultimately bond on a far more emotional level. Nesta and Cassian’s relationship is mainly physical, I think Nesta needs a deeper emotional connection.

Quotes Worth Mentioning

Chapter Forty-Three, Eris tells Nesta “When you get tired of the animal, come find me, I’ll show you how a future High Lord plays.”

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “She held his eyes throughout each step, let him feel her supple body, how pliant it was as she arched into a cluster of notes. His hand tightened on her, fingers digging into the groove of her spine, and she let a small smile rise to her red-painted lips. She had never worn such a color on her mouth. It looked like sin personified.” -- what is the colour you automatically associate with Eris and the Autumn Court? Red, red, red! Also, this scene is hot. Too hot and descriptive for the purpose of simple jealousy.

Chapter Fifty-Seven, Nesta’s inner-monologue, “She’d seen a Queen of the Night. As merciless and beautiful as the god Lanthys had wanted to make her.” -- comparison to a Queen again, why mention it so much if it isn’t going to happen?

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “[Nesta’s] gaze locking back to [Eris] exactly as the music returned to the melody. Flame simmered in his eyes, and he spun her again.” -- they are dual flames, one is fire and the other is ice.

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “Eris had her hand again, spinning her three more times, his red hair glinting like fire as if in echo to the unchecked, dark joy bursting from her.” --Mention of red again, only a few paragraphs after describing Nesta’s red lips. Unchecked joy bursting from Nesta as she dances with Eris? My oh my.

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “Nesta’s mother had wanted a prince for her. Cassian now thought she’d undervalued her daughter. Only a king or an emperor would do for someone with that level of skill.” -- Ding, ding, ding! Even Cassian has put it together. ALSO Nesta associated with a crown again.

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “Eris dropped to a knee before [Nesta] and held up a hand” -- he is literally on his knee for her. A parallel with Rhys and Feyre?

Chapter Fifty-Seven, Eris tells Nesta, “Don’t believe the lies they tell you about me.”

Chapter Fifty-Seven, “Nesta’s mouth twitched to one side. ‘And you? Who do you love?’ His smile sharpened. ‘Are you inquiring about my eligibility?’ ‘I’m merely saying it’s hard to find a good dance partner these days.’ Eris laughed, the sound like silk over her skin. She shivered.” --ummm if that’s not chemistry idk what is

Chapter Fifty-Seven, Eris tells Nesta, “You’re wasted at the Night Court... absolutely wasted.” -- He’s right, Nesta should be ruling her own kingdom, not living in Feyre’s Court.

Chapter Fifty-Seven, Rhys and Eris discussing Nesta becoming Eris’s bride. “‘And it seems foolish for you to offer me anything I want in exchange for her, anyway.’ His jaw tightened. ‘I have my reasons.’” --Cassian assumes Eris wants Nesta because of her power, but what if it’s deeper than that? So deep he’s willing to offer almost anything for her, except his firstborn.

THEREFORE, I’m convinced Eris x Nesta is going to happen-- or another character that is a prince/king/something epic of some kind for her.

Cassian is hot af, don’t get me wrong. I love him. But he’s not enough for a glorious woman like Nesta who needs to be pushed further so she can conquer much, much bigger things.

Eris or not, I don’t think Nessian is endgame.

#nesta #nesta archeron #a court of silver flames #acosf #eris #eris vanserra #nesta x eris #eris x nesta #predictions #sarah j maas #book review #neris #cassian #anti cassian #acotar

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onceupona-chaos · 4 years ago

Text

Shackles and bridges: SJM and the mating bond

I know there are a lot of posts about this, but I wanted to do one myself, so here we go.

DISCLAIMER: This is my interpretation as someone who is a very new member of this fandom and has more contact with “common readers”, since I was one myself until a couple of months ago. Everything here is based on textual evidence and my experience as an avid reader, so take a step back from any ship. But I will talk about the probability of a rejected mating bond, so if that's not your cup of tea, be warned. English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

Be kind!

Also, minor spoiler for CC.

The mating bond is the most important element in SJM’s books and it's present in most of the main endgame couples. Aelin and Rowan, Feyre and Rhys, Nesta and Cassian, for example.

It’s described as this precious, sacred bridge between souls - or is it?

SJM is a very formulaic writer. We can draw several parallels with her writing, due to the way she structures her scenes and chooses her words.

We saw this explicitly with Nesta and Cassian in the Solstice scene, which is very similar to the one between Feyre and Rhysand: an emotional discussion, kissing tears away, lovemaking with “say it” and “you’re mine”, mating bond glowing between them, on and on.

Different characters, but same scenario, same process, same wording, almost the same scene.

However, considering that every mated couple until now ends up together HEA, I have the feeling that SJM is starting to explore the mating bond in different ways, otherwise every one of her books would be too… similar? In a way that the reader wouldn’t be surprised anymore, it would be the same story over and over.

To the ones who are faithful to those characters and to her books (her fans), this isn’t exactly a problem, but we have to consider the other readers as well, the bigger audience (SJM sold millions of copies, so not everyone who reads her books is engaged online).

For that exact reason, to approach a narrative element in a different way is very common among writers.

I’ll give you an example with Cassandra Clare and the parabatai bond (SPOILERS from TDA): the parabatai bond is an oath between friends who swear to protect each other. In TMI and TID, we have this bond between friends (Jace and Alec/ Will and Jem) that are almost brothers. However, in TDA, we have two parabatai (Julian and Emma) falling in love with each other, which is extremely forbidden.

The different ways a writer can approach the same elements are important to keep the readers engaged - not the reader who is a fan, but especially the occasional reader. Otherwise, it would be the “if you’ve read one, you’ve read them all” kind of thing, which is no bueno.

With that in mind, I really think SJM is starting to explore/ approach different sides of the mating bond.

Mate—not husband. The Fae had mates: an unbreakable bond, deeper than marriage, that lasted beyond death. (Heir of Fire/ ToG)

“But if they’re blessed, they’ll find their mate—their equal, their match in every way. High Fae wed without the mating bond, but if you find your mate, the bond is so deep that marriage is … insignificant in comparison.”

Another proof that SJM is formulaic: in both ToG and ACOTAR, the bond is presented for the first time in comparison to marriage, as something deeper and sacred.

However, Bryce, main character of CC (SJM book published before ACOSF), looks at it very differently:

“And at least he’s not some psychotic alphahole who will demand a three- day sex marathon and then call me his mate, lock me in his house, and never let me out again.” Which was why Reid—human, okay-at-sex Reid—was perfect.

This is such a contrast. To Bryce, the mating bond would take her freedom away (keep that in mind).

I’m not saying Bryce won’t have a mate or anything like that, but we don’t start reading CC with the same vision about the mating bond presented in the other books: a sacred bond, deeper than marriage. Bryce couldn’t care less about that, not once she wondered if Hunt is her mate.

Therefore, I don’t think SJM finally writing a different story about the mating bond so unthinkable. On the contrary, we see writers doing that all the time.

Also, I’m not saying Elain will reject it, but SJM is not only approaching the mating bond in different ways now, but she already structured a very solid base for a mating bond rejection to happen if she wants to:

ACOWAR

“You said your mother and father were wrong for each other; Tamlin said his own parents were wrong for each other.” I peeled off my dressing robe. “So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

“A mating bond can be rejected”.

SJM already wrote a whole scene to explain the mating bond and how, for some people, is not this sacred thing and it can be rejected. Not only that, she directly approached that Elain could reject it if she wanted to, and that scene involved Lucien and Azriel.

“You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?”

“It means nothing,” Elain said, her voice breaking. “It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—”

“You belong to him.”

“I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you.“

Also in ACOWAR, Elain makes herself very clear: she would have ignored/ rejected the mating bond right there if Graysen still wanted a future with her, because she loved him. She would have chosen to follow her heart without hesitation.

The funny thing is that Azriel - Elain's current love interest - never saw that scene, never saw how Elain vigorously rejected Lucien for someone she loved or the way Graysen rejected her (I’ll leave this information to you).

ACOFAS

Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them.

“And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”

“No.” I blinked.

Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

Months go by and Elain is still uncomfortable with the bond.

ACOSF

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort.

Her brown eyes were wary. Usually, that look was reserved for Lucien.

Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

At this point, it’s clear: the question "what if the Cauldron was wrong?" didn’t come out of nowhere, not only for Azriel, but in the narrative as well.

SJM had been slowly hinted at for three books now. I know she can change her mind, but if she wants to write about it, she made sure to write the perfect opportunity:

SJM already wrote a scene about the possibility of Elain rejecting the bond, that involved Elain, Lucien and Azriel, so it’s not coming from nowhere;

Lucien compared how different Elain is from the female who he had really loved;

They are both uncomfortable around each other;

Elain is romantically interested in someone else, who was part of that scene back in ACOWAR when we were presented to the possibility;

This someone else (Azriel) is interested in her;

SJM made sure to tie the romantic plot (Elain’s mating bond) with a political plot (Blood Duel);

The political plot is connected to the overarching plot (Autumn Court, Beron and Eris/ Koschei);

Mostly important: Elain is showing for three books that she doesn't want the bond;

"I don't want a mate. I don't want a male."

She literally said that with all the letters.

We can see this dichotomy between shackles (no freedom) x bridge (a connection) regarding Lucien as well.

"(Jesminda) She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him."

He said that Elain had been thrown at him and also that they were shackled.

“Give her time to accept it.”

“To accept a life shackled to me?” (ACOFAS)

And then right in the next book (ACOSF) we have this:

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

The declaration slammed into her. Shackled.(…)

Shackled.

Words beckoned, sharp as knives, begging for her to grab one and plunge it into his chest. Make him hurt as much as that one word hurt her.

SJM emphasized what that one word meant by repeating it and using italics. It’s another side of a mating bond: not a bridge of connection, but shackles with no freedom, no choice.

If Nesta was that hurt when Cassian (someone she loves) said that he didn’t get a choice in being "shackled” to her, can you imagine how is it for Elain and to actually have this bond with someone she don't love? And to Lucien as well?

The thing is in terms of storytelling, and by that I mean the plot, it’s undeniable that we already have everything that’s necessary to approach the matter of the mating bond in a way the reader has never seen before.

It’s a huge possibility, one that would make the regular readers interested (we have to remember that, not everyone who reads those books is engaged. They read them when it’s appealing).

If you want to look deeper, we can see little clues that point to that narrative path, too:

Elain shall wed for love and beauty.

The bond Elain had chosen.

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

Now, why hasn't Elain rejected the bond?

Because a writer doesn’t waist a good plot like that. Simple as that.

Let me tell you: SJM won’t waist that plot because a part of the fandom doesn’t like Elain, because 1) the online fandom itself is just a part of the readers; 2) inside the online fandom there are people who dislike Elain, who are neutral about her and people who like her; 3) SJM already know some people hate Elain, otherwise she wouldn’t have wrote this:

You think Elain is boring?

I think she’s kind, I’ll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven’t seen all she has to offer yet.

SJM already told us she likes to write about disliked characters. She will write the story she wants to write and ACOSF is the major proof of that. If it’s a rejection or not, only she knows, everything could happen.

But SJM has been writing about mating bonds for years, do you really think the first time we get to see a rejection it would be for someone else’s POV? Or in a minor plot as if it isn’t a big deal? Especially when this rejection is directly related to a political plot and to the overarching plot?

No, not when SJM has enough material to write 700 pages and more, not when she has the opportunity to make a whole book out of this, one that is something entirely new for the reader, not when SJM built the perfect opportunity herself.

#pro elain #mating bond #pro elain archeron #acotar 5

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highfaelucien · 3 years ago

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I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex. Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta. And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic. The whole mor/az situation really fucked me up. As someone who is also a lesbian and an abuse survivor, it broke my heart to watch the situation unfold in acowar. It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character. And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him. Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

I'm going to quote parts of this/chop it up and reply to them a chunk at a time. because there's a lot going on here and I want to try and reply to as much as I can because I resonate with.....all of it. Please forgive me for the length of this.

I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex.

He feels like a different character? There was always an anger simmering under the calm surface, we knew that. But it was an anger born of love, deep down, and the desire to protect his family, and his court, at the expense of himself. Az was always the first to volunteer himself for dangerous missions, to spare the others.

Now that anger is directed at his family, and at the world, for not giving him what he feels he 'deserves'. That has NEVER been Azriel. Azriel's deepest issues and insecurities have always stemmed from the feeling of being unworthy, and undeserving of anything.

She's just made him into......Every other dude in this series tbh. Snarling, and possessive, and wanting to fuck anything in a skirt that moves.

Azriel was actually somewhat of an original, complex character initially. It's unusual that we see trauma affect men in the way it did Az. Usually it makes them angry, and vengeful, and eager to prove they are the alpha etc. Seeing them withdraw, and think less of themselves/that they're unworthy is something not explored often enough. But bye bye nuance hello #Drama.

Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta.

I feel this. I found a lot of comfort in Az's character. Particularly the way he reacted with Mor. I was a big fan of their relationship, and I wrote a few 'missing scenes' style fics in the gap between ACOMAF and ACOWAR. One of them was where Az went to her when she had pushed everyone else away, including Cassian, and comforted and calmed her.

I hate that Maas took that away from Mor. I hate that Az no longer does that for her. I hate that Az was the one to betray her along with Rhys and bring her abuser into her safe space behind her back. I hate that he is no longer a symbol of calm, stable, dependable comfort and support for Mor, but is instead a threat. I HATE it.

Every now and then Az has lovely, gentle moments - his friendship with Nesta is a good example, and something I hoped we'd see. But also quieter times with Rhys, and their similarities being explored. And I adored the flying lessons with Feyre in ACOWAR, and the training he did with Cassian and the others in ACOFS.

But then she goes and twists him and does something else that just makes me want to fucking scream. Like the High Lord scene where he 'frightened' Mor. And his entire POV chapter which is frankly fucking gross.

And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic.

I agree.

I don't know how she can write a series that explores the effects of emotional abuse so well with Feyre and Tamlin...And then write what she did with Az?

The possession to a traumatised, still impressionable and desperate young woman, who likely finds the same comfort and safety in him that Mor did. Before that got shot to fucking pieces.

He sounds like a whiny toddler 'Cassian has a mate, and Rhys has a mate, where is mine!?!?!?!?' I DESERVE Elain, because I'm your brother and you guys have her sisters and what the FUCK. Who let that shit get published holy mother of god.

It's just...It's so unhealthy? Like, not even talking ship wars here (which I'm aware are rampant, and which I'm trying my best to stay away from). But that just.

How can that ever be a healthy foundation for a relationship? A man who thinks that he deserves, not only to be in a relationship with her, but to be bonded to her. Not because of HER, not because of who she is, or how she makes him feel. No. Purely because her sisters are mated to his brothers?

The whole thing made me feel so uncomfortable. It's predatory and toxic, just as you said. It's not right, it's not fair. Forget alliances and Lucien, even if none of that was a factor, that sort of thinking is still not right. And it's completely unfair to Elain.

But it also just. It didn't read like Azriel. The first part, where he struggles to sleep, and pushes himself until he passes out, and the insight that his shadows are basically hovering beside him screaming SELF CARE YOU DUMB BITCH at all times was very pleasing.

And the part where he goes to Clotho and leaves an anonymous gift for Gwyn. No fanfair. No audience. No pressure on either of them to react/perform. That felt like Az, too.

But everything in the middle. Everything with Elain, was just...Gross and out of character. And this is not because I dislike E/riel as a ship. I could get on board with it, tbh, if it wasn't written the way it was.

But it's not about ships, for me. It's just. Everything felt out of character. The predatory way he was with her. The fact he lies awake and gets himself off to fantasies of her. How apparently quickly he was aroused by putting a necklace on her. Idk, maybe it's my ace ignorance, but that doesn't sound normal/healthy to me.

Nor does him having to leave a room because he can scent her mating bond with Lucien. Or not being able to control himself to sit and eat dinner with her?

This is the same dude who has, apparently, been in love with Mor for 500 solid years, and who never did a damned thing about it. Who always kept himself in check. Even while she's had other lovers. But he can't control himself through one dinner with Elain?

It just. It doesn't feel like him. It feels like...Honestly not even Cassian. It feels like Tamlin on horny, predatory steroids. And that's not something I ever wanted to see from Azriel's POVs.

She could have explored a darker side to him without making it sexual? And misogynistic. And having him treating Elain as little more than a fucking object that he feels entitled to because 'everyone else got one, where's mine?'. What the FUCK???

The more I write it the more angry I get.

Because SJM has consistently put Az in the position of saving women when they were in danger? He was the one who found Mor near death at Autumn. He was the one who rescued Gwyn from her attackers during the war. He was the one to retrieve Elain when she was taken.

She always puts him in this position and, for better or worse, presents him as a safety figure for these women. The first person who they saw come for them, and fight for them, and protect them.

And on the inside she makes him this vile, predatory monster who just thinks constantly about fucking them? Who isn't actually safe at all?? It's sad. And it's infuriating. Because this isn't about ships anymore. This is about female survivors who have an apparent safe person who's presented as almost as dangerous as the people who attacked them in the first place. And that makes me feel so sick and sad that we've gotten here.

It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character.

This is yet another vile thing SJM has done to queer readers with this whole fiasco. Because it puts me in a position where I want to call out her shitty writing, and what she's done to Mor - sidelining her as soon as she became queer. Undermining her power and her strength. Undermining her role as the survivor to look up to. Saying her power is truth but then making her seem like a liar. Which is all shitty, shitty, shitting writing.

But I'm also a queer person. And I will always always ALWAYS want to defend a queer person's right to remain closeted. Regardless of their reasons for doing so. But in this case it's a concern for their safety/a fear of how those around them will react. And I will NEVER condemn that. I will never say Az is suffering more than Mor for her being closeted. I will never call Mor a liar/a manipulator/two-faced when all she's doing is trying to survive.

I WILL condemn SJM for making this a scenario. For putting homophobia in her world purely to cause pain for queer characters, and drama for her straight ones. And for sidelining Mor as soon as she can't write graphic scenes with her fucking men because now she's a lesbian so we best get her off the page so the guys can get their cocks out some more.

And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him.

This is going to sound sarcastic but I actually mean it fully and completely genuinely: 95% of the drama inducing problems in this series could be fixed with some fucking therapy.

But I agree with you. I think it's high time Azriel worked on his own issues. Even if they've apparently made a complete 180 from what they were in ACOMAF.

I...Like the concept of Gwyn/Azriel, but I'm not sold on the ship. Not with the way Maas has been writing Azriel lately. That kind of man shouldn't be with any woman right now. But especially not a rape survivor who sees him as one of the first men she's been able to trust in a long time.

Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

"he used to be a character that made me feel safe" - This shit hit me like a tonne of bricks because this is EXACTLY how I feel about Az, too. You just managed to say it in a few words instead of 12 pages of rambling, like I do.

And I think this was intention. Azriel was presented as a very dependable character. He rescued Mor, and was respectful enough to keep his distance, despite his feelings, for 500 fucking years. Because he didn't think she was ready/interested.

He had a very calm, and calming air about him. Always in control of himself. Without the expected bursts of aggression and temper we'd seen from...Every other male character in this series. He was stable, and solid, and that was comforting. An anchor. And someone who would quietly, and without fuss, seek out Mor/others when they needed someone to talk to or comfort him.

That was a very soothing, reassuring presence in the book, I felt. And now she's made him seem...volatile, and unstable. With this dangerous anger that he can't control, that he uses not to protect, but to intimidate, and to fuel his entitlement and desires.

it's just sad. It's sad that she's taken this away from Mor, but also from other survivors who found comfort and safety in Az. Because I'm sure we weren't alone in that regard.

I miss him. And I mourn the character he was, and feel anger for the character he should have been. but instead he's become yet another possessive, entitled, snarling cardboard cutout dude like...everyone else.

And I ache for the Az/Mor dynamic that we had in ACOMAF. Even without it becoming romantic, there was no reason for that to be destroyed/ruined.

She could have written it that Az is the only one who knows about her sexuality, and that he pretends he's still in love with her as a shield/buffer, so no one looks too closely/to protect her and make her feel comfortable.

Instead she turned it into a soap opera style drama. And wrote it almost as though her sexuality was her cheating on him? Denying him what he deserved. And now she's just...just pussyfooting around it. And apparently he's just. Just moved on. Without them having any kind of conversation or closure at all. He just wanks off to the thought of Elain instead of Mor, now, problem solved /s

I miss what they were. I miss what he was to Mor. I miss when she had that support system, and that safety net. I miss when he protected her. And looked out for her. And understood her in a way that no one else, not even Rhys, did.

Mor deserved that. Azriel deserved that. WE deserved that. And she nuked it for some fucking twisted drama that punishes a lesbian because a man is thirsting after her. it's a fucking disgrace. I'm so fucking done with SJM, y'all. So fucking done.

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 4 years ago

Note

For the Fanfic Ask thing: either U, K or X.

They're all incredibly entertaining 😆

Ooo, let’s see!

U. A pairing I might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

Um... I think I’ve written all of them?

Like, if nothing else just look at “A Peaceful Night”. I’ve written 24 versions of that fic. I’ve covered every pairing I could with that one LMAO!

I’d kinda like to write more Elorcan, but not enough to... write more Elorcan XD

K. What’s the angstiest idea I’ve ever come up with?

I think like in general the entire concept of “Velaris”?

Or the Archeron mother killing her own daughter in “The Feast of Souls” and that being the origin of a lot of Nesta’s hatred and wrath.

Or Rhys standing in the snow in “Velaris” and stifling his sob when Azriel calls out to him (30 years into the whole thing I think)

Or that scene I just wrote in TSON

Or in “Velaris: Fury and Ruin” when Mor realizes the Suriel is Rhysand’s mother

Or the fic about Rhys leading up to his crashing of the Feylin wedding

Or the fic about Lucien losing his eye

Or- christ on a cracker- you haven’t SEEN half the stuff I make myself delete from smut fics because it’s angsty and off topic and threatens to derail the whole thing.

I’ll open this to my readers to comment/reply with what they think my angstiest moment is LMAO

X. A character I enjoy making suffer.

Well, if Azriel survives TSON he’s going to come for my hide, let me put it that way XD

Ask Thing: Fanfic Asks

#ask #ask thing

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battlestar-royco · 5 years ago

Text

Let’s settle this once and for all: are the Illyrians MOC?

So, in writing the answer to this ask, I FINALLY put two and two together on something: another reason why SJ/M’s constant use of “golden-brown” to describe the I/llyrians doesn’t sit right is because that’s literally the only indication that they are MOC. Looking at fan art, it’s clear that some artists are going for a non-white skin tone. If so, then why don’t they look like MOC? Why is there so much contention and confusion around whether or not these men are white? I have been subconsciously baffled by this phenomenon for years, since AC0MAF came out in 2016. I don’t know why this took me so long to conclude, because people have been essentially saying the same thing about POC in SJ/M’s books since AC0MAF dropped, but here is the reason: in both the books and the art, their complexion is the only thing that indicates they are MOC. There’s a lot, as they say, to unpack here. This is gonna get long (seriously, RIP to your thumbs. I promise it’s half photos). Snip.

The Golden-Brown Suitcase

So. We have descriptions such as these (all emphasis mine; special thanks to @longsightmyth for pulling many quotes and citations!)...

1. about C/assian and A/zriel: “Like their High Lord, the males---warriors---were dark-haired, tan-skinned. But unlike Rhys, their eyes were hazel...” (AC0MAF, pg. 140 B&N ebook).

2. “Cassian surveyed Rhys from head to foot, his shoulder-length black hair shifting with the movement” (140).

3. about A/zriel: “But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two... Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face” (140).

4. “I could have sworn Rhys’s golden-brown skin paled” (AC0WAR, pg. 223 Kindle edition).

5. “Color bloomed high on Azriel’s golden-brown cheeks” (254).

6. “I tried to catch Cassian’s gaze, but he was monitoring them closely, his golden-brown skin unnaturally pale” (280).

7. “But Nesta’s pale fingers gently probed his golden-brown skin” (514).

... spawning fan art en masse like this:

art courtesy: x x x

What’s wrong with this (these) picture(s)? They are white men with the complexions of MOC. The fandom (and thus artists) have nothing but “golden-brown” (a term that is notably introduced in AC0WAR, one installment after the I/llyrians first appear) to go on, so they default to imagining the I/llyrians as tanned Henry Cavill, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Viggo Mortensen types. You could simply lighten the value of the above artworks (but please DO NOT do this) and have white men. THIS is why, despite the golden-brown descriptor and the Darker-Than-Fayre skin tones in the fandom art, there is so much debate and confusion around whether or not the I/llyrians are MOC. Golden-brown skin with straight black hair, straight noses, and round light eyes do not a man of color make. Why not? Because “golden-brown” is a very nebulous term that can apply to countless skin tones and ethnicities. Some examples (... your THUMBS I’m so sorry slafajklsk):

^ Indian,

^ Mexican,

^ Guatemalan,

^ Hawaiian,

^ Afro-Caribbean,

^ and Filipino. For starters.

Now, why is it that upon first glance, you can tell that all the men in these photos are not white? Because race is constructed such that we can immediately identify it, whether subconsciously or consciously. We’re socially conditioned to recognize this in other people and immediately ascribe our own perception of their race and ethnicity onto them. Not only can you tell they are not white, but you also have a ballpark idea of where in the world they are from. Note the wide variance in thickness and texture of hair (head, facial, and body); the cool and warm undertones that change by the person; the wide, ridged, and/or downturned noses; eye shape, body type etc. So why can’t we put a finger on what the I/llyrians are supposed to look like as MOC? Why do so many people perceive them as white? Because SJ/M has no target ethnicity for the I/llyrians, meaning that they have no clarifying features to imply one specific ethnic background in the text or fan art. All we know for sure about the I/llyrians is that they are dark-haired, darker complected than the A/rcheron sisters, and they pale and blush. Vagueness regarding race always causes fandom to default to white, thus the general “tan white dudes” interpretation of the I/llyrians.

The Illyrian Suitcase

We’ve now come across another suitcase within this entire I/llyrian Ethnicity Moving Truck of stuff we need to unpack: the smidge of evidence that the I/llyrians are inspired by somewhere in the MENA region. Given the harem pants and henna-reminiscent tattoos that appear in the Nite Court, plus the mosques and clothing that appear in fandom edits and art, general “MENA” may be the closest approximation to I/llyrian ethnicity. However, the problems snowball from here.

1. The MENA label is far too general to treat as one single race/ethnicity. General fandom perception/depiction of I/llyrians does not nearly encompass the multitude of appearances someone could have if they are from the MENA region. Harem pants and henna are used in multiple countries, so it is impossible to pin down a non-monolithic appearance with just the Nite Court attire and “golden-brown” description.

2. The Nite Court and the I/llyrians are two separate entities. Not all V/elaris residents are I/llyrian, not all Nite courtiers are I/llyrian, and not even all Inner Circle members are I/llyrian. Therefore, we cannot conflate the Nite clothing and tattoos with I/llyrian culture.

3. This leads me to my next point: we still have white and non-I/llyrian characters wearing harem pants and tattoos. Fayre, M0r, and A/mren’s attire is not culturally meaningful to the Nite Court. It also clashes with sweaters and leggings, dresses made of chiffon, bell sleeves, and Elie Saab-reminiscent designs (ie Starfall, Court of Nightmares). Thus, the attire loses all internal consistency and meaning beyond the mood SJ/M wishes to set for a given scene, making the implication that their outerwear is meant to be sexy or aesthetic rather than culturally significant.

4. The I/llyrians as a race of POC meaninglessly perpetuate stereotypes. Granted, sexism exists in high fae society (ie Fayre being paraded as “Rice’s whore” in the CoN, M/or being treated as a commodity and broodmare, the lack of High Ladies), so the misogyny and violence against women are not unique to I/llyrians. We also get more than one I/llyrian main character, so they are not a complete monolith. But there are still issues. One, the I/llyrians are oppressed by the high fae. It is well documented that the high fae are the dominant race and look down upon lesser fae. This dichotomy has yet to be unpacked by SJ/M. Two, I/llyrian women are oppressed by I/llyrian men (wing-cutting, commodification, gender roles, etc). There are absolutely zero fleshed out I/llyrian women, so the only information we have about their experience and existence is through Fayre’s eyes and Rice’s word. This framing is white feminist at best, white savior-y at worst. Three, we only know I/llyrians who have assimilated into high fae culture. Rice, the High Lord, is half high fae and half I/llyrian. Only he and his friends, I/llyrians who have been “elevated” from bastard/oppressed I/llyrian status, know better than the other more “savage” I/llyrians. Coincidence? I think not.

The Lucien Suitcase

All this gets even more confusing when you consider the fact that SJ/M uses “golden-brown” as a blanket non-white coding tool. In the T0G series, at LEAST the following characters are described as golden-brown: S/artaq (T0D, pg. 345 Kindle edition), Nesrin (K0A, 180), and Irene (403). In AC0WAR, at LEAST the following are described as golden-brown: the I/llyrians, Vassa (685), and L/ucien (183, 302, 456). Our best approximation is that S/artaq and Nesrin are South Asian given their southern continent origin, Irene is part-black given her E/yllwe father, Vassa is... golden brown, and L/ucien is part black and part white. The term is used so frequently that it is meaningless as an indicator for race. We’ve again found the golden-brown suitcase, which in SJ/M’s novels encases allll the aforementioned ethnicities and more. Again, this causes very anglicized and/or inconsistent looks to pop up in fan art:

Conclusion

it seems that the I/llyrians are MOC, based on the fact that they and other POC are frequently described as “golden-brown.” That said, the golden-brown descriptor is not enough. The I/llyrians do not serve their purpose as representative characters because they are not easily identifiable to their target demographic, nor are they a positive representation. In a social context where we are so trained to recognize these things, explicit media representation is much preferred, if not necessary. It is the reader’s prerogative---namely, non-white readers’ prerogative---to interpret these characters how they wish. We’d be unpacking a whole other house if we were to go into the meaning behind L/ucien as a black man, Irene as a black woman, Nesrin as South Asian, etc, and that is for another day. Thanks so much for reading all this way if you got this far. I know I’m extra, sorry. The creative writing/women’s and gender studies major jumped out lmao. My inbox is always open if you want to parse that out or if you have any further questions!

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti tog #anti sjm: illyrians #anti sjm: rhysand #anti sjm: lucien

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a-forgotten-spirit · 6 years ago

Text

I Make Things - Lucien x Reader

This story was requested by @abbadbitch . Based on Lucien having the reader as a lover in the Day Court and finding out Helion is his father.

Lucien P.O.V

Smiling as I raced down the stairs of the House of Wind, it seemed nothing could ruin this day. I was all over the place with happiness a real smiles spread across my face as I grabbed things from around the house I had left placing them in a bag. Bringing extra for my Mate, my heart fluttered at just the word and a thought came to my head of her beautiful face. Cauldron I loved her. Thinking I have finished I pull up my sleeves and pushed my hair back from my eyes, she always loved to play with my hair.

“What’s got you so happy Lucien” I heard the voice of Feyre and turned the smile still firmly on my face, my cheeks began to hurt from the muscles being overused. I never smiled this much, I was over the moon to see her again, It had been three weeks since I last saw her. Sure I could her thoughts and we spoke as much as possible but it wasn’t the same.

“I am headed to the Day Court” Even my voice sounded happy it was an odd feeling if I was honest but I never wanted it to leave. The ‘gang’ knew of my Mate but they hadn’t met her, that I knew of. I loved her with all my heart.

“Why,” she asked and I watched as Rhysand and Cassian walked in talking lightly, I was sure Azriel was going to walk from a wall any second and make his appearance. Just as the thought went through my head he walked from the wall and stood next to them. Feyre looked interested at my answer the sparkle in her eyes showed.

“I am going to visit my mate for a few days,” I said and all went quiet. I was confused for a few seconds as I looked to the boys whose eyes seemed now interested in Feyre and I’s conversation.

“Mate” she questioned and then nodded her head in remembrance and smiled “When was the last time you saw her” she questioned with a light smile on her face.

“Three weeks” I sighed and really thought over the time period. It had been three weeks, twenty-one days. Almost a full month I went without my mate, her voice was the only thing that kept me going but around here I couldn’t keep my barrier down long and she could only stay for a few minutes at most. I missed her, I felt my chest clench at the thought but I smiled thinking I’d see her today. “I really should be going” I spoke and began to walk away.

“Well. We were just heading there to discuss tactics with Helion so we leave now to make it a little easier on the guards who will panic who is coming into the Court” she smiled and walked to Rhysand and smiled as she walked into his arms.

“You have a mate Lucien,” Azriel asked his voice sounding soft and planned. It always did it was like he had planned his words out hours before any conversation he indulged in, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. His hazel eyes were half-lidded and seemed to be calculated as they always did.

Nodding my head as I looked out of the window and smiled thinking of the way her lips curved into a smile and the way when she talked her teeth showed sometimes, the way her hands moved as she spoke of something she was passionate about. “Yes,” I breathed out.

“Do you love her” he questioned and seemed to look through me, Cassian looked to Azriel in a way that was concerned and interested why he cared so much. I was too. Why did he care? I watched as his eyes stared at me with so much emotion the most I had seen ever.

“Yes. With all my heart” I whispered as I looked to the ceiling the memory of how I found out she was my mate. “The day I saw her jump in front of those children, the look of happiness in her face as the blade ran through her own flesh and not them. And then the look in her eye as she struck him and collapsed to the ground” I spoke lowly remembering that scene “The minute my world shook and my heart stopped. The day I ran her to Helion in his Court and watched as she opened her eyes after hours of low breathing. Yes, I love her with all my heart” I answered honestly, without a second thought or hesitation. Azriel nodded and smiled at me a genuine smile, which I returned. “I’ll see you there” I smiled and began winnowing.

The way the wind whipped through my hair and I clung to my bag as I winnowed, it always felt weird. I had learned it years ago but the feeling I never got used too, it was strange to feel the world slow to the bare minimum as I ran. After some time I came to be at the edge of the Day Court and walked in. I heard the flapping of wings and knew they had followed shortly after I had left.

I walked down the bond and gently ran my fingers over her barrier. It was like nothing I had ever seen it was a like a black hole, it was misty and seemed there was no way in and if you did make it in you wouldn’t get out. It was beautiful nonetheless. “Love” I questioned and felt her mind gently swam around my own. “I am here,” I said simply and saw the house of Helion as I smiled knowing she was only a few moments away.

“I am coming” she stated in that beautiful angelic voice of hers. I couldn’t get enough of it, every time she spoke I never wanted it to end. I almost begged her to continue talking. It’s like I was addicted to it.

Going back into my mind and leaving the misty beauty of her mind I sped up instinctively. I saw Feyre and the others land and walked over. I was looking around not knowing where she would come from. I could see they were looking at me as my eyes scanned the areas of the Day Court.

Then I saw her. My breath hitched and I dropped my bag, my eyes widened in advance and she walked down the steps of Helion’s home and looked around her eyes I could see from my spot they were too bright and I watched the smile curve its way to her face as she rushed down the stairs a little faster than before. She was in a white dress that flowed to the ground in long lace-like fabric, a gold belt adored her waist and hugged it tightly. I finally breathed as I watched her lightly run over the short distance and I did the same. She was ten meters away, then five, four, three, two and finally one. I felt her body collide into mine, her arms around my neck as mine went around her waist. Pulling her body as close to mine as I possibly could I smiled into her neck and breathed in her scent as much as I could. I had missed her so much and her skin against mine felt like nothing I had experienced.

“Lucien” she sighed and held me tighter her voice light and happy as I moved to look at her, she hadn’t changed the loved danced in her eyes and I'm sure my multicoloured eyes did the same. One may be metal and I hated the scars but she never seemed to mind. A smile took up her face as she pulled me forward into a kiss and I swear if anyone would interrupt they wouldn’t be alive for much longer. This is everything, her lips on my own felt like the world had meaning and it did now because of her.

“My love” I whispered and rested my forehead on hers, she was shorter then I and I wouldn’t have it any other way, Cauldron I loved her. “It has been so long” I whispered my hands laid against the small of her back as I pulled her lower self to mine. Standing up straight I looked down in love.

“How long are you here for,” she asked lightly and worried, she had anxiety that was obvious since I had met her, having to convince her I did want her as a mate and then convincing her my heart belonged to hers. She needed reassurance but I was more than happy to give it to her every second of the day if it meant she was mine.

“For as long as you wish. I have clothes to last about two weeks but if I wash them I can stay as long as you wish for me to stay” I couldn’t help the way happiness took up my face as she looked up in such bliss at my words. “I brought what you asked” after those words, her e/c eyes shone so brightly I swear they reflected the sun. “I dropped my bag come and then we shall go to your room and then you can show me your new inventions,” I asked.

“You want to see my inventions,” she asked as we walked to my dropped bag her voice showed the surprise and I got a little sad that no one seemed to look at the things she was passionate in and I promised myself I would always be interested in the things she loved. Nodding my answer her face lit up once more and she continued “I made weapons I need a big strong Fae to test them out” she looked to me in interested and I nodded once more.

Getting to my bag I lifted it from the ground as saw the ‘gang’ looking to me Cassian had a very surprised expression and then I heard my mate speak “Azriel” she whispered and then ran to his arms which were held out. I wasn’t jealous, I was interested.

“You know Azriel” I questioned as best I could and she turned leaving his arms which I was thankful for and he looked down to her as an older brother would and I understood the relationship quickly.

Nodding enthusiastically her voice came out smooth as though the words meant nothing “He helped me after my parents” I knew of her parents and to say the least and in its simplest form. I was glad they were dead. Nodding as I understood why they had that relationship, I knew Azriel’s past and I saw the similarities.

She moved back to me and I noticed Helion walking over his skin dark and white covered his body as well as gold. Nodding to him as I walked past with Y/N. He knew I was her mate and being his number one inventor he was pleased she had someone ‘Nice that would help her’ were the words he used. I was grateful he allowed me to stay in his land even if it was only for her. I walked down many halls and came to a door, she opened it and walked inside. It was neat and all pastel, light blues and purples her bed was large and sat against a wall as she said she was scared someone would come in. So she wanted to be able to watch the entire room.

I placed my bags down and noticed a new shelf decorated in books and little things she had made, a little boat being her favourite. She loved the ocean and made cute little things to remember it. I unzipped my bag picking up her gift. I turned around seeing her playing with something “My love” I asked and she looked to me placing it down.

I watched her eyes dart over me and then noticed my hands were behind my back and her face morphed into curiousness, her nose scrunched up a little as she tried to peer around walking closer “What is it” she bit her lip seeming anxious.

Moving one of my hands forward “Its the jumper you asked for. I wore it to bed for a few days” I smiled and she immediately began to strip, letting the dress fall to the floor in a heap as she gently put the jumper over her head and moved the sleeves to her nose and inhaled deeply sighing happily. It was way too big but I didn't mind and neither did she from the look of it. I watched as she cuddled it to herself and sighed happily once more. “I also have something else for you” I whispered and felt the feeling of the other item behind my back. Tilting her head adorably I wanted to hug her instantly. “I know you have been looking for this for a while” pulling the book from behind me I showed her and the look on her face was worth everything I did to get it.

“How” her voice was low and soft as she looked it over, “I thought they had all been destroyed” she whispered and opened it seeing the pages and looked to me in amazement “Where did you find it,” she asked her eyes glowing, “I thought they were all destroyed” she repeated.

“Rhysand has a library in his Court but do not speak of it, very secret. I asked if you could come to see it and they said you were more than welcome” I rose an eyebrow in question as her head moved quickly indicated her nod for a yes. “I asked one of the women who took me to the spoke and as I talked about you she gently placed it in my hands and there is a note in there for you from her” I smiled lightly and as she was about to combust from happiness and go looking for the note. “Wait until late my love Helion wanted dinner. We talked before I came to warn the guards of my entrance” I explained as she placed the book down and brought me into her arms.

“Thank you” it was more than I wanted her soft voice was seeming to shake as those two words came out. Getting past everyone who lived in the Night Court and the Inner Circle. Than spending hours finding this book, it was all worth it for those two words and the smile that came to her lips.

We removed ourselves and she went to put on some plain pants but didn’t bother with shoes only the light pastel pink socks. Y/N looked adorable in my jumper the sleeves too long and down to the thighs. I loved it, she would now smell like me and I couldn’t get enough.

Leaving the room hand in hand we walked to the dining room and ate with Helion as well as Feyre, Rhys, Cassian and Azriel. The dinner was calm and we all had a light conversation. Feyre tried to get to know Y/N but she kept to herself, my hand never left her and if it did it was gently placed on her thigh.

It was a lovely dinner and as the plates were cleared and the small conversations continued Y/N looked to Helion and I then back and forth a few times “You guys look similar” she said and examined my face.

“Well yeah Helion is his father” Feyre’s voice broke out and I turned to her in shock and confusion as she covered her mouth and her eyes went wide. That wasn’t meant to come out. Helion looked to me and his eyes went wide in realization.

“Your mother and I” he whispered and I seemed to understand the gist of it. Y/N’s eyes were wide as she swallowed all the alcohol in her glass in one clean swing. This was new to everyone but Feyre.

It was silent for a while as Feyre apologized and I was so confused as I stayed silent. Y/N rose from her seat she looked panicked in this awkward environment “I make things, I am Helion’s inventor” she started and it brought a smile to my face as she tried to change the subject for me. “Lucien my mate please come look at the things I make” grabbing my hand she pulled me from the table and I smiled as I was pulled down the hall.

I smiled and jokingly stated “I make things” she smiled and shook her head as we walked into her working room.

“I make things”

________________________________________________________________

I am currently still taking requests send me a message if you have another you would like to request Thank you for reading.

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comprosedreviews-blog · 6 years ago

Text

A Court of Wings and Ruin (finally) with Monica

Rating: 4/5 (goodreads)

With a great (new) laptop, comes great responsibility.

And no one knows that better than me. At least after the seven hour, where-did-all-my-files-go-and-why-didn’t-they-transfer-correctly debacle.

SO while I had an almost full review finished for this book, it has gone MIA. Go. Figure.

But that’s Karma’s way of getting back at me for not publishing this a few months ago, you know, when I actually finished reading the book.

But y’all didn’t come here to listen to me complain, you came for a book review, so without further RAWRS and GRRs, here’s the review:

You should read the book.

Yes I know, you’re probably sitting there glued to your screens, mouth agape because somehow, after loving the first two books of this beloved series I also managed to love and recommend the third. GOOD GRACIOUS MONICA!!! YOU’RE CRAZY!!!

In all seriousness, the book did fall a little bit behind the first and second in the list of favorites for me, but still managed to keep me coming back for more page turns and laughter and fear.

Before writing any further, I want to warn those of you who stumbled upon this review thinking that ACOWAR was the first in a series from reading the rest of this post. You see, young ones, if you continue to read you will be spoiled for the first two books... because well, this is the third and final in its little trilogy.

So turn away, avert your eyes, and direct your feet to the nearest Barnes & Nobles (or wherever you satisfy your book reading needs) and purchase A Court of Thorns and Roses. You won’t be sorry.

THE BRIEF NON-SPOILERY: I can confirm that there are areas of overwriting in this finale. In fact, much of the beginning dragged on or felt unnecessary, to the point where 100 pages or so in, I finally felt like we began the story. The beginning is important for foundational stuff about new characters, old characters and new threat lines, however. It probably could have just been done with far fewer words and scenes.

I also think that there are several areas that just lagged. I could easily put the book down in those moments and do something else... which for me isn’t a great reading experience. And before you wave your fists and say BUT MONICA, books can’t be all power and action and romance all the time, know that I understand that. I mean, I read a lot and love books a lot, but this was an excessive amount of hmmmmmmm don’t need to be reading this right now. I want to be fully pulled in, I want something to make me think I CAN PUSH THROUGH THIS SECTION TO FIND X OUT... but there were whole chapters where I was like... whelp. Nothing interesting happened.

THAT BEING SAID, other moments in the book were done spectacularly and kept me immersed in the world even when I had to put the book down. I was like... No. Nope. Okay Mr. Reporting-Professor, you can talk all you want about the inverted pyramid, but understand that all I’m hearing is fanfic poetry about the love between Rhysand and Feyre.

You get all the characters you love back and all the resolutions you could ask for, which is why lovers of the series must finish it. Don’t let yourself feel the unresolved feeling of ending on ACOMAF (because we all know that ending left us SHOOK).

That’s all I can offer for you folks out there who haven’t finished ACOWAR. I hope these words of wisdom have helped you settle on the right decision of reading the book for yourself. If it didn’t, well, sorry. I’m a mere hufflepuff.

WARNING!! SPOILERS!!! AHEAD!!!

You know, I really enjoyed this book, I swear I did, but as I’m thinking back on it, the things I remember best are the things that annoyed me. Like the father’s convenient return right as the battle was being lost, the constant magic draining, the convenient return of Rhysands angel looking friends, and all the character death bluffs. So for the interest of ending this review on a positive note (because, wtf my brain, we love this book??) I’m going to talk about these things and then swing into the good.

1. WHATS WITH ALL THE CONVENIENCE?

Did we just get written into too tough of a plot to get out of? No, I don’t think we did. Why? Because Sarah J. Mass is brilliant. I’m sorry, but did you see all the foreshadowing with the mirror? Or the awesome trials in the first book? Or the link between the stars of Feyre’s drawer and Rhysand??? This girl can write the tough writes.

But this ending was riddled with oddly convenient and seemingly unnecessary helps. The island with the Seraphine and the wards that worked a little too well... like why didn’t Rhysand and friends check super hard? Why didn’t they shout a bunch. WHY DIDNT THEY REALIZE, oh yeah, we protect our sacred city with a bunch of wards too... Why didn’t the angel beings think to look outside of their wards ever? And how come they were able to get notice of the battle at all? Like... HMM, yeah we couldn’t really reach you BUTTTTTTTTT now we’re here because we found out about it?? No. I need a better explanation.

And maybe there is one to come. Maybe the second series will shine some light on the topic, but if that’s the case then writing that entrance for these guys was a super risky move because--I’m just going to say it--it came across as a Deux ex machina (which are endings I frankly hate).

GAHHHH and the whole book we were like

Reader: Oh no!!!!! Azriel is going to die! His wings are shredding, he went on a kill mission, he’s the misplaced love angle...I knew he shouldn’t have gone with them! I knew it!!! I knew it!! This is Sarah offing him isn’t it--

Feyre: actually we got him back in time so it’s all peas and--

Reader: OMG YOU ONLY GOT HIM TO SURVIVE BECAUSE TAMLIN IS DEAD NOW AND HE HAS SACRIFICED HIMSELF JUST AS HE REDEEMED WHATEVER TERRIBLE DARKNESS HE WAS BATHED IN AS A SMA--

Tamlin: Actually, no. No. I come back in the end. They kept me alive. I’m good.

Reader: HOLY MUFFIN GUACAMOLE YOU DISTRACTED ME SO THAT I WOULDN’T SEE CASSI--oh actually cass is fine wow. Good job Ness--OMG NESSA AND CASSIAN ARE GOING TO DIE AHHHHH

Elain: NOT. In. My. House!

Reader: Oh dang. Nice slashy slash. Wait so everyone-- OMG ARMEN NOOOOOOOO

Ocean: psht. She’s fine. I’ll spit her out as a high fey, no worries

Reader: Oh. Oh. Okay, wow. That’s um, good then?

Cauldron: *Gargles*

Reader: *Sobbing hysterically* RHYSAND!!!!!!!!! Actually, he’ll be fine too probably... yep. Okay.

It got to the point where I was like, well there’s no real need to worry because any character I actually give an emotional teardrop about is protected by all the force of the pen forever. So. Yeah.

I mean, I’m not complaining that all my characters made it out unscathed, just that they made it out and each and every one of them had their life thissssssss close to being torn away... and somehow I’m still expected to buy Rhysand’s near death at the end as our final hurdle to overcome. Which. I didn’t.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE BAD, let’s talk about the good.

The very beginning had me so upset. But in a good way. When it wasn’t going on too long we got to see a darker side of Feyre, the side that decided to kill a fairy for revenge, the side that isn’t afraid to ruin lives if it means saving the people she cares about.

AND I HAVE TO SAY I HATED IT AND LOVED THAT I HATED IT.

Like, I do not like Tamlin. I will never like Tamlin, there is no redeeming Tamlin. But, still, as Feyre began to turn his armies against him and used Lucien (who I do like!) to tear a rift in the spring court I felt the feels. Like... no. This isn’t how we do things.

But. It. Is.

Feyre don’t mess around.

When the bond between Rhysand and Feyre started to go quiet I was SOOOOO worried that Tamlin had secretly discovered a way to shut it down and was working with Ianthe that I just... I was like STOP WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING SPRING AND START FOCUSSING ON THIS CLEARLY WRONG THING!!!!! But it wasn’t that.

No. No, it was her magic, being drained from her.

And for someone with SO MUCH MAGIC in the book before, I was so taken aback by how many times her powers were literally drained from her.

Was anyone else impatiently waiting for more Feysand? Because I was. I wanted it sooooo badly. Maybe that’s the real reason everything dragged. Maybe I just needed them to be together again, especially because she was now lady of the night court and I wanted to see some night court shenanigans with the gang.

Good times. That would have been good times.

But I had to wait. And when we did get there

STUFF//WAS//FALLING//APART

I’m sorry, what do you mean Elain is miserable???? And mad???

I’m sorry, what do you mean Lucien is coming with??? (because I might like him but yeesh, I was annoyed with his “how could you betray me” thing).

I’m sorry, what do you mean IN GENERAL????

Can’t we just like... Idk, ignore our wounds from the other book? CASS got to! His wings grew back//were healed. We should all be like Cass!

For real though, when everyone was talking about how Elain had gone crazy I was sitting here thinking... *raises hands* um maybe she’s like... seeing the future? Did we think about that guys?? But nooooooo. Everyone was all pity filled and I was all :(((((((((((

My greatest regret is we never got the resolution of Cass and Nessa. I want them together and I want it yesterday!

I felt like we were there. We were so close. They almost died together and Cass and Nessa BASICALLY SAID THEY LOVED EACH OTHER and then...

poof. Same old same old rawr.

And then are Elain and Azriel going to be a thing??? I don’t know if I want that or don’t want that???? Are Lucien and bird princess going to be a thing???? Who is a thing, who isn’t a thing, why???????

Like, last book I was here for Lucien and Elain. I mean I figured they’d have to like, get to know each other, fall in love, etc. but I’m a sucker for a falling in love story// enemies to lovers sub-arch.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Now I can’t even bring myself to root for that. They are just wrong for each other. And I don’t like it. I don’t like that our thing that set up our two main characters can be so imperfect. Rawr, I just want resolution!!!!!!

And did everyone catch that Lucien isn’t related to the monster that was previously believed to be his father??? WHO’S GOING TO EXPLAIN TO DADDY HELION THAT HE IS A FATHER???? WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK???

I’m sorry but all signs for me point to the next series following Elain, Lucien, and Bird princess lady// whatever horrible deal she made to be able to come and fight. I’m not against that. I do want to know more about why the cauldron gave Elain so much power, and how her ex-fiance is feeling now, and how her prophesies/// Azriel thing/// Lucien thing is going to pan out !!!BUT!!!! But here I am wanting to know what happened to giant nightmare cloud, wanting to see baby Feysand, wanting to have Mor find love, wanting to know more about Nessa’s link with the cauldron...

ARE WE SURROUNDED BY I NEED TO KNOWS RIGHT NOW OR WHAT???

*sigh* when is Sarah going to release the next series beginner? I need it. Otherwise, I might combust. And I need these answers. Not in this order but... like in the next book please?? Please???? PLEASE????

So this review turned more into a mindless ramble of happenings and wants than anything else. If you feel I left things out (which I most certainly did thanks to writing this months and months after reading smh) please comment below! I’d love to hear what Y’all think// what y’all want from the next book.

And gosh if you read this far, you’re a saint.

Until next post,

Monica

#ACOWAR #sarah j maas #acotar #acomaf #feyre archeron #Feysand #booklr #book #books #bookreview #comPROSEdbookreviews

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the-suriel · 8 years ago

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which parts of acowar did you dislike/didn't sit so well for you? i don't want you to get hate or anything but like what did you wish sjm didn't do? x

Hey Nonnie!

Ok. This turned out to be a REALLY LONG list so I’m putting it all under a cut, that way people don’t feel obligated to read this if they are tired of ACOWAR hate.

If you are one of those people that are really tired of ACOWAR hate it’s totally ok to just scroll down, you do not have to read this.

Here we go…

1) Mor.

I feel that she was so mistreated in this book. Even in the beginning when Rhys pulls the whole Eris scheme on her and letting her in the dark??? Why? I don’t understand. Why couldn’t he just sit her down before the meeting, explain the situation and ask for her input? Or at least let her know what is happening and give her the choice to stay if she is not ready to face what is possibly the two people that hurt her the most in her life.

It felt so OOC for Rhys to do that to her. SJMaas is always reinforcing how good he is for always giving everyone a choice, but with Mor that didn’t happen at all. Not only was it cruel to put he in that situation, but as his third, she should have known. She is the Queen of Hewn city she is supposed to know these things before they come into action.

I hated so much the way she came out. Don’t get me wrong here, I was so so happy to see that we finally get LGBTQA representation, but it was executed so poorly. I mostly agree with what a lot of people have been saying, it felt like a last minute decision on Maas’ part.

I was also really sad that with the way it was written it almost makes it seem cruel that she didn’t tell Azriel about it for all those years. I just really really hate that? I am not supposed to blame someone for not coming out, everyone takes their own time until they feel comfortable enough to take that step. I feel like it was not ok for SJMaas to write her into that situation.

And plus it was just kind of unrealistic?? I remember someone on Tumblr pointing this out, now I can’t remember who, but are you really trying to tell me that Mor kept this a secret from her cousin the deamati and her friend the shadowsinger and spymaster for 500 years!!?? They should have found out by this point honestly.

2) The Resurrection

This is more of a personal pet peeve than anything. Maybe this is because I watched TVD for so long, but I really, really hate when people come pack to life like that. It’s fine when it’s someone that was never introduced to the story and was believe to be dead, or when we don’t know for sure if they are dead but when someone drops dead on the ground I expect them to stay dead.

I could swallow it when it was Feyre back in ACOTAR, I cringed when Jurian was resurrected but I draw the line at Rhys. It felt like cheating, and that’s not something I want to feel a few chapters before the book ends.

3) Tamlin

Tamlin was a wild ride. His character shifted so much throughout the book, and I understand a fair amount of that is due to the fact that we read the story through Feyre’s point of view. I really wanted to see some closure on the Tamlin plot line. He was such an essential part of Feyre’s arc, and he kind of got brushed to the side in most of ACOWAR. I really wanted to see a scene when they sit down and talk about what happened, I wanted him to recognize his mistakes and perhaps, I dunno apologize. I felt like Feyre still needed to say a few things to him to truly move on (same goes for him honestly). Obviously she has no obligation to have a conversation with her abuser if she does not feel like she is ready, but I think that it would have been a good way to complete her arc.

4) Lucien

Why did she get rid of him???

I started resenting Lucien a bit after the end of ACOMAF but I was so sold on him again by the start of the book.

Again Why did she get rid of him??

He had so much to add. why???? It felt like a cop out for not having to deal with elucien in this book.

His absence made me sad :’(

5) The Threads

I know, I know, this is just the end of feysand’s arc and there are going to be more books, but the number of unanswered questions I have is very annoying. I have more questions now that I finished the book than when I first started.

There are going to be more books but that does not change the fact that this is supposed to be the closing book in a trilogy. She should have ended a few more threads instead of leaving it all so open. ACOWAR almost felt like a week second-book-in-a-series. it felt more like a bridge book than the resolution to this section of the story.

6) Papa Archeron

Although I did appreciate that he died and stayed dead, I wish SJMaas had explored his relationship with his daughters a bit more. I wanted to see his reaction to them being Fae, or the inner circle’s reaction to meeting the man that gave up on their High Lady when she was a child. It would have been such good character conflict. I also felt like the Archeron sisters deserved more closure than just a last minute funeral.

7) Mor & Nesta

Why was Mor so mean to Nesta???

That felt so OOC of her. Can she not see that Nesta is going through some shit right now? They all expect Nesta to be very cruel and cold (which I would even argue is just a front [Feyre had literally told Cassian before that she thinks is a front but anyway not the point]) but I really didn’t expect Mor, a 500-year-old woman who has also seen some shit in her lifetime, to act that way to someone. She could have really used Mor’s help. Mor has no obligation to be there for Nesta when she is very rude towards most of them, but it would have been nice to see that friendship blossom.

8) Explanations

This point kind of relates to the previous point on threads. There was so, soo, so much thrown into this book, and not much of it was explained. People have already mentioned the lack in world building in the magic department, but even the subplots were lacking in context and explanation.

The continent territories that were briefly mentioned were just that, briefly mentioned. I don’t really know what the king’s Ravens were all about (why were they called the Ravens? why did they look like all black and white? was it coincidence? was it just for the aesthetics?) The cauldron was also not developed enough for something that is so significant in the story, we still don’t know what power Mor holds, (The power of truth?? What does hat even mean?) and apparently Azriel can turn into shadows, I think, but like how ???? how did he become a shadowsinger? do the shadows speak to him? And Elain being a seer? Was that explained? How do the death gods work? I thought they couldn’t die. I mean obviously not.

SO MANY QUESTIONS

9) Moriel

If you were a Moriel shipper you are put in a position where you either resent Mor’s sexuality (WHICH IS NOT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL, SPECIALLY FOR A BOOK THAT IS SOLD AS YA, A GENRE THAT TARGETS A YOUNG AUDIENCE) or you feel like your feelings toward the ship are/were invalid.

Moriel, to many of us, was written with the intention of being end game. I don’t think it was even a question for most people. It was almost heartless to give so much hope for a ship and then completely squash it, I don’t think that it was fair to the readers. She should have hinted at it a little more or just written this situation differently so that this didn’t happen. It was sad to see that something that was supposed to be such a positive representation, this strong independent woman that is also a member of the LGBTQ community, get caught in the middle of this. Sarah should have written this better.

10) Feysand

It was nice to see feysand happy but I wish we still got some development in their friendship. They have only known each other for a year, they have only really gotten to know each other 6 months (ish), I felt like their relationship could have been further explored maybe bringing in new sides to their personality.

11) Grammar and Diction

Ehhh well, there is definitely some improvement to be done in this section. It wasn’t horrible and it didn’t damage my understanding of the plot or the character but I have to agree with what people are saying, this book was severely under-edited.

The most prominent things that drove me insane were the sentence fragments, the use of –dashes– and …ellipses… in almost every page. Oh and the diction. The diction especially though. The one that stuck out to me was how many times she use ‘the former and the latter’ in her sentences. It is a good way to describe thoughts or action, but not when it is used every 3 chapters (I have the ebook, I checked). In my version of the book there is even a quotation mark missing (page 461 I believe). I understand that mistakes happen especially when writing a book this size, but this is a sequel to a best-selling series, and she probably has a whole team of people helping her with things like this.

Again, it just felt lazy. For a best-selling author, she should not have mistakes like these in her work. It became such distraction that I am now writing about it.

Anyway, this got a bit long but here are my 2 cents. I hope I didn’t offend or insult anyone, and if I did that was never my intention.

#acowar spoilers #anti acowar #writing this was so therapeutic honesty #I literally feel lighter #ask #anon

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