#because the first 31 evilwizards were taken
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what im getting from this is the guy would love ao3
Merasmus canonically writes fanfiction
#prolific multifandom crossover shipper merasmus#he'd probably name himself some shit like evilwizard32#because the first 31 evilwizards were taken#either that or he would just use his actual name and see nothing wrong with this like the fucking turbo-boomer he is#he'd name his ao3 account fuckin 'merasmus the great and powerful wizard bringer of doom tremble mortals'#and insist everyone write out the whole thing every single time#the only possible alternative to these two options is that he names his account something embarassingly sappy about his fav ship#like fucking 'lumityfan5500' or 'klance5ever'#like the username equivalent of finding out a cartoon villain is wearing underwear with hearts on it#his entire account would be shrek x obama type shit but entirely unironic#or those big pileup crossover ones that have every tag and fandom imaginable because the creator just puts all their oneshots inthe same fic#accidentally uploading evil spells to the burt lancaster x reader x buzz lightyer smut fic#click next chapter and whoops that's not lightyear dong that's a curse#a prolific commenter on everything he reads that always does so in theater kid evil wizard speak and everyone either loves or hates him for#he shows up regularly completely unprompted in people's comments sections with long-winded rants about the local fandom's equivalent#of 'why bella should have ended up with jacob' discourse#'GREETINGS mortals! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MERASMUS apologizes for his extended leave of absence#'Merasmus was as result of a matter pertaining to his divorce briefly deprived of living form! a temporary setback i assure!'#'requiring only the lure of thirteen virgin sacrifices. TO THEIR DOOM! only twelve of which met their end by merasmus' ghostly power-#for merasmus' own departed form was counted among their number! However MErasmus' personal problems are NO excuse#for depriving the world of the thrilling conclusion to this most illustrious work of fiction. So strap in mortals!#COWER! fools! for you have found yourself on a one-way bumper car ride... TO ANGST!'#'A/N: The Great Merasmus extends his gratitude to the witch 'Raven'. for her contributions to this tome's grammatical fortitude.#Merasmus could have done it himself though! Really!'#'A/N: Little do they suspect what merasmus has in store for them NEXT chapter! (draco): oh no please have mercy! A/N: Merasmus GLOMPS YOU!'#A/N: If you are reading this; FUCK YOU SOLDIER!#eventually he gets sucked into hockey rpf#actually someone needs to introduce this man to ao3 immediately i would absolutely read a fic where this happens
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