#because technicality is not how phobias work | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mellosdrawings · 4 months ago

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I'd like to hear more about Holden! Especially what his dynamic is with the Octavinelle trio and Noah, because y'know, pirate and merfolk, lots of fun there XD Captain Hook is like the Disney villain that I most want to see a twisted version of in game, so I always get excited when I see OCs of Hook

Oh, Holden. What a mess of a person he ended up being. I didn't expect him to end up being one of those with the most trauma. And I dunno if he's really what you'd expect considering I went a... certain way with him ^^'

Holden Jameson

[redacted age], 2nd year

Heartslabyul

Human from the Shaftlands

He/him

Boardgame club

Based on Captain Hook

Signature Spell: A Happy Little Thought

-this is a time spell that only works on his own body

-it allows him to revert back to a child or to age into an old man, and anything in between

-it technically allows him to heal faster, but should he become younger again there is a very real risk of landing on a time he was wounded if the wound was consequent enough

-should anything happen to a certain limb *wink wink* at a certain point in the past *wink* then reverting back to an age prior to it will give his limb back, but reaching the time he lost said limb and further will automatically make it disappear

-he cannot chose one body part to use his UM on, it only works on his whole body

Real life Peter Pan Syndrome

When he was 5, Holden was “kidnapped” by mischievous children faes. He lived among them for ten years before his sudden growth made the faes ostracize him. They abandoned him in a crocodiles’ pit and left him for dead. When Holden found his way back home, he had not aged a second despite everybody around him being ten years older than when he left.

This happened [redacted] years ago. Holden has since been stuck in a loop of his own making, inadvertently reverting to a child whenever he threatens to turn into an adult. This cycle has already happened at least [redacted] times. Holden's own mental age oscillates anywhere between 5, 15, 25, and 40 years old depending on his stability, and his physical body does not always reflect his mental age.

His mother enabled him too. Traumatized from having lost her child so young, she never questioned how he could be back looking exactly the same as when she lost him, raising him as she should have done all those years back. When he regressed for the first time, she went along with it and simply raised him all over again, feeding into this cycle. It only ended when she died of old age.

A proper gentleman who follows the rules

If one could claim the Queen of Hearts’ throne in Riddle’s place, it would be Holden. Ever since he lost his arm, he has been following a very detailed schedule to the letter and has considered rules as most sacred. Missing an appointment makes him meltdown, breaking a rule angers him. He is very picky on every single detail. While he doesn't hold others to the same level of perfectionism he holds himself to, he does get annoyed when others outright disregard common courtesy and he will take matter in his own hand(s) when big transgressions happen.

Tick-tock

Despite Holden’s obsession with proper schedule, he has a huge phobia of analog clocks. The mere sound of one is enough to have him panic into uselessness. He also has a phobia of scaly creatures, mostly crocodiles, and a near phobic approach to neatness and germs.

Faes

His past experiences with faes make him especially scathing towards any he meets, and the Diasomnia crew gets it the worst. Malleus constantly missing appointments and being unable to keep track of time especially gets on Holden's nerves. He also has a very hard time with Sebek who leans hard into his fae legacy and has enough crocodile elements to himself to make Holden uneasy.

Prosthetic

The day Holden loses his hand is the day his time loop inadvertently resets. After a... forceful wake-up call, he ended up getting a prosthetic in replacement. Holden absolutely despises it and tends to hide his hand under gloves or behind his back.

Sea and merfolk

Holden's father was a renown sea captain and has brought him on his adventures many times when Holden's mother calmed down enough to let him out of his sight. While everything else in Holden's life is the way it is out of necessity or propriety (or fear), ships and the sea are the one things Holden genuinely loves and actively attempts to learn more about. He knows how to pilot ships, know sea roads by heart, and has a very wide understanding of marine life. Contrary to his hatred for faes, Holden is always ready to hear more about merfolks. He still has a bit of a hard time with Noah and Floyd because of how carefree they are, but Jade's decorum and Azul's capacity to bend the rules without ever breaking them have all his attention.

Random facts:

-he's OCD. Completely.

-like, he's just anxious 24/7, his calm facade is just too good for people to realize

-he's a viscount from his mother's side

-he has many fencing medals and regularly trains with Silver

-he is rather sympathetic with Silver's situation but is completely baffled that Silver loves his fae entourage so much

-when he's panicking, he picks at his hair and scalp to the point he nearly tears chunks of hair off

-he is surprisingly good at sewing

-one of his (many) contradictory behaviors is that he both hates and loves cacophony

-he is VERY critical of childish behaviors

-he would be completely lost without his aide, Simon

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rainingfknhard · 2 months ago

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Elevator Affairs ; congressman!Bucky x Reader

** there are NO thunderbolts spoilers in this fic **

˖ ࣪⭑ prompt: the elevator stops working when you and bucky are on the way up to your floor, which just so happens to be your biggest fear.

˖ ࣪⭑ word count: 1,035

˖ ࣪⭑ cw : panic attacks, getting stuck in an elevator?

˖ ࣪⭑ a/n: thanks for reading :) hope to post more, my decade long love for bucky has strengthened (somehow) after thunderbolts lol

It was such a blessing that the subway was right next to your office building, because the box you were carrying was cumbersome. At this point, you felt like an idiot for packing so many things to bring to work. You started this job, working under congressman Bucky Barnes, about a month ago. It’s just been a trial period so far, but everyone in the office seemed to like you, so you wanted to bring in some things to spice up your desk and make it your own.

A cute mousepad, some photos of your friends and family, and random pieces of decor you liked. You were honestly confused how all of the bits and bobs made such a weighty package.

You ran through the door behind someone, unable to open it yourself. Once you arrived to the elevator, you struggled to reach your hand up to press the button. Thankfully, a person appeared on your right.

“I got it.” Mr. Barnes said, pressing the button for you both.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” You replied, catching your breath.

“S’That heavy? You want me to carry that for you?”He pointed to your box.

“No, no, I’m good.” You smiled, but he was already grabbing it. You were sure it weighed nothing to the super solider. You stared at him, giving him a defeated smile as yet another thank you.

The elevator dinged, taking you out of your daydream.

“Ladies first.” He gestured.

You stepped on, and pressed the button for your floor.

“So, how are you liking it so far? Everyone treating you well?”

“Oh, I love it here! Everyone is so nice. It’s a really great work environment—“

Your words were cut off by the elevator halting to a stop.

“W-What? What just happened—“

“Dammit.” He set the box on the floor. “This happened a few months ago but they said it was fixed.” Mr. Barnes walked over to the control panel, pressing the emergency button.

You tried to control your heartbeat, but you could feel it in your ears. You started to feel dizzy as he spoke to the person over the intercom, losing your breath.

“Okay, first responders should be here ASAP.” is all you could hear.

“Perfect, thanks.” Mr. Barnes turns around to see you, hand over mouth, very obviously trying to not freak out.

“Hey, Hey.” He takes a step to you, placing his hand on your upper arm. “It’s okay. We’re fine.”

“I- I can’t- I feel like-“ You words come out strangled. You felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Look at me.” He starts breathing slowly, in through the nose, hold it, out through the mouth. He’s staring at you, waiting for you to follow his unspoken directions.

You do, shakily, until after a minute or two when your breathing is as back to normal as it can be. Tears have formed in your eyes, but you keep breathing the same way, ignoring them as they roll down your face.

“Why don’t we sit down, yeah?”

You nod, and he helps you to the floor.

“That’s it, it’s alright.”

“Y’know… this is my biggest fear. Getting stuck in an elevator. Everyone always told me it was stupid but—“

“No fear is stupid. Even if you can’t rationalize it, it’s okay to be scared of something.” He interrupted.

“I guess you’re right… But I can’t exactly take the stairs to the 37th floor everyday so here I am.”

“Well, technically, you’re facing your fear. Right now. Albeit not on your own terms but you’re doing it!”

You sniffle, laughing. “Yeah. You’re right… Again.”

He pulls out his phone from his pocket, and quickly takes a photo of you.

“What was that for?” You ask in confusion.

“You’ll appreciate it, someday. Years from now, when you look back on this moment, you’ll wish you had a photo of you facing your phobia.” He laughs, lightly. His laugh makes you momentarily happy. It made you feel like there really is nothing to be scared of…

“Thank you. For everything.” You say.

“Of course.” He reaches over with his metal arm and pats your knee, lightly. You freeze, unintentionally.

By the look on your face, he thinks he did something wrong. “I’m sorry.” He pulls away.

“For what?”

“If this.. thing made you uncomfortable.” He raises the arm.

“No- No it didn’t. I just know you’re very.. cautious with your arm. Just caught me off guard.”

“Oh. Yeah… Maybe I’m trying to get over a fear, too. Subconsciously.”

You two smile at each other in silence before hearing shuffling outside the door.

“Fire department! Everyone okay in there?” A man yells. Mr. Barnes hops up to his feet.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Okay, stay as far back from the door as you can. We’re gonna pry it open, okay?”

“Got it.”

You stand up, stepping as far back as you can. Mr. Barnes stands in front of you, shielding you from anything that might happen, or that might scare you. It feels like forever, but eventually the door is open, and he moves aside ushering you both out of the elevator and on to the stable floor.

You immediately beeline for the chair, sitting down and pulling your knees into your chest. You hear Mr. Barnes thank the first responders, as you silently pray no one thinks you’re rude for not doing the same.

You feel tears prickling your eyes again. You try to blink them away as Mr. Barnes approaches you.

You start to breathe the exact way he did earlier. In through the nose, hold it, out through the mouth.

In through the nose, hold it, out through the mouth.

In through the nose, hold it, out through the mouth…

He rubs your back, “You got it.”

You blink up at him, trying to smile.

“Pull out your phone.”

You do as he says, confused, but then after a few moments, you see a text message from him, with the photo he took of you.

“God, I look terrified.” You laugh.

“Because you were terrified, but you were facing your biggest fear. That’s something not a lot of people have done.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.”

He smiles again, “You can call me Bucky.”

#bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #thunderbolts

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filmnoirsbian · 2 months ago

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Because you said you like being a hater and I think being a hater is mean. Why direct your emotions towards hate when you can just talk about the things you love instead and have the things you hate occupy zero brainspace? That’s a better insult I think, but nobody gets hurt by it. Win-win! Also, when I say “bad”, I don’t mean morally bad. I mean technically “bad”. If something has a “weak” story or “bad” art (1/2)

But doesn’t perpetuate any bad ‘isms or phobias (racism, homophobia, ableism, transphobia, etc.) then it shouldn’t be considered “bad” art, just art that maybe isn’t one’s cup of tea! That’s all you need to say. “Oh, not my cup of tea, thank you :)” and nobody gets hurt! But the ones that DO perpetuate the ‘phobias and isms? Those deserve no attention save for a warning. Hate them by starving them! No brainspace for you! And your brain will feel healthier too :)

Not to be "mean" but this is such a frustrating and obnoxious take for several reasons, the first being that it reduces creators to some nebulous, juvenile figure incapable of handling failure or critique, two of the most important steps in the creating process. Do you think we're all just blissfully unaware when something we do doesn't work? Do you think we're all snivelling children who must be catered to and patted on the head when we make mistakes, therefore condemned to never learning from them and growing as an artist and as a person? Making bad art is practically necessary for most artists because it is how we grow, just like falling down is part of learning to walk. Creators who cannot get back up, dust themselves off, take critique and learn from it are destined to have a pretty fucking bad time creating--save for those individuals who indulge in making bad art, whose tastes run towards that direction and create solely for themselves, and trust me, they'll have a good time regardless of any "haters" and will in fact probably delight in it.

"Bad" remains an integral and existing qualifier for art for as long as there remain billions of artists will a billion different ideas and thought processes and capabilities. Bad art must exist for good art to exist. If "all art is good art" then the word "good" as well as any other descriptors used for it lose all meaning, but apparently that's what you want, which in turn means you aren't interested in either creating or critiquing because both of those things carry meaning in their soul. If, as you said before, "nothing matters," then neither does art, which I find a rephrehensible take, just as I find nihilism itself reprehensible. Everything matters, actually, because if it doesn't then there is no "morally bad," an idea which you cling to despite it not being able to coexist with your other main conceit. You cannot have both. You cannot say nothing matters and all art is inherently good by virtue of being art, but also there is some objective morality scale by which all art is judged to determine its goodness. Your two points are at odds with each other, and by waggling your finger against "hating" you are denying every artist the right to learn and grow and become better.

#asks

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hllywdwhre · 1 year ago

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Blurred Lines

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary: You come to Jonathan with a new idea that he’s more than willing to help you test.

Warnings: Ideas any psychological association would frown upon, Jonathan being Jonathan and getting off on fear, I’m gonna be honest I didn’t have the patience to write a lot of plot soo��. You’re getting enough to set up the story but that’s about it, needles, unprotected p in v, technically recording a sex tape but under the guise of ‘it’s for science’, lowkey (highkey) doctor/patient kink, bondage, dirty talk, degradation, light spanking, fingering

Word Count: 3.2K

Notes: I need help and a lot of it

You and Jonathan had worked together at the asylum for a couple months now. You were one of the only therapists that he could stand to work with, and it was purely because you took an interest in his… less than ethical ideas. Your interest in these ideas, mixed with the attraction you held towards him, lead to your own less than ethical idea.

The two of you typically stayed late at the asylum to work on paperwork. Usually, this involved you helping him with his and you teasing him about how you deserved a pay raise for being a psychiatrist and his assistant.

Tonight your teasing was absent as you thought over how to bring the idea up to him. You sat on the opposite side of his desk, sorting through a stack of papers. Deciding to bite the bullet and just spit it out, you cleared your throat and drew his attention to you.

“So, I had an idea about a way to overcome certain phobias,” you said, still looking down at the stack of papers as you flitted through them.

“And what would that be?” Jonathan asked, briefly glancing up at you before returning to his own stack of papers.

“It’s a mix of classical conditioning and exposure therapy.”

“Sounds like something that’s been tried before. Offer a reward to a patient so the patient associates their fear with a positive reinforcement instead of a negative memory,” he said dismissively, brushing you off.

“Yes,” you said, your voice turning hesitant, “but that’s not all for my idea… mine involves a different type of positive reinforcement.”

This seemed to catch his attention. He looked up at you, an eyebrow quirked.

“What type of reinforcement?”

“Well, what are the physical and chemical similarities between fear and arousal?” You asked. Both eyebrows raised as he seemed to catch an idea of where this was going, but he answered your question as if he was clueless just so you would continue explaining.

“They both release adrenaline and cortisol, and they both increase heart rate and breaths per minute.” His voice was calm as he answered, but the way his eyes remained glued to you as he answered revealed his interest.

You nodded your head and continued,

“And when you orgasm, the adrenaline and cortisol mix, along with hormones and chemicals specific to sex. You get a state of temporary bliss which can lead to the person experiencing the orgasm even developing fond feelings towards their partner. My idea would capitalize on those feelings of post-orgasmic bliss and use them to help people overcome their fears.” The words came out rushed but they had captured his attention even further.

Jonathan leaned back in his chair, the paperwork on his desk long forgotten now as he studied you and let the idea run wild through his mind.

“The theory is an interesting one, I’ll give you that,” he said, pausing for a moment before adding on, “but who would be willing to have this theory tested on them?”

A blush tinted your cheeks and you looked away from him.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it, it’s just a bit difficult to test… alone,” you said in a voice that was just barely audible.

He stood up from behind his desk and came to stand in front of you, one hand going under your chin to force you to look at him.

“I thought you had lost the ability to surprise me when you found out about my fear toxin, but here we are,” his voice trailed off as he continued to take you in. You could see his mind working a mile a minute behind his eyes as he went over your idea again and again in his head. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke again, “I’ll help you test this, but only on certain conditions.”

Your eyebrows rose in shock. You didn’t know what you had expected his reaction to be, but a willingness to test your theory with you wasn’t how you thought he’d respond.

“What are they?” You asked.

“Firstly, I’m not blind. I know you didn’t just come to me with this idea because of my own unethical ideas. This entire experiment involves sexual attraction being needed, and I’ve noticed the way you look at me.” Your cheeks darkened even more as he called you out on your attraction to him, and this only made him chuckle. “If we do this experiment, I’m the only one who gets to see you like that. No one else.”

You resisted the urge to tease him and ask if this was his way of asking you to be his girlfriend, knowing it would get you nowhere and somewhat fearing the answer. Instead, you nodded your head once to say you understood.

“Next, we’d have to record these sessions. Neither of us are going to be in a clear enough space of mind to pay much attention to anything else during the session,” he said.

You nodded again. You knew you definitely weren’t going to be able to concentrate on anything aside from him during the session.

“Lastly, we’d have to do these sessions at my personal lab. Meaning you’d be seeing where I live along with a multitude of other things that I’ll need your word you won’t say anything about.”

“I haven’t said anything about your fear toxin, have I?” You pointed out, causing him to chuckle again and shake his head.

“No, I suppose you haven’t,” he admitted.

“Not to mention that you’re literally going to have a sex tape of me. If I said anything about this, both of our careers would be ruined,” you added on.

“I take it that means you agree to my terms?” He asked.

“Yes, I do,” you confirmed.

“Then how would you feel about starting the first session tonight? It’s a long weekend so neither of us have work on Monday in case you need an extra day to recover,” he offered, causing another look of surprise to rise on your face.

“I-uh, o-okay,” you stuttered out, watching as the familiar smirk grazed his lips.

The two of you gathered your things and made your way out to his car with him telling you he would bring you by to pick up your car the next day, but that there were a couple more things he wanted to go over with you on the ride there. You both put in place a safe word, deciding to use the color system. If everything was okay and he checked in on you, the color was green. If you needed things to slow down, you could say yellow at any time. And if you needed things to come to a complete stop, you could say red. He also informed you that there were already security cameras recording his lab, so both of your every moves would be recorded the entire time.

When you arrived back at his house, you followed him inside, taking in the area while he led you to his personal lab. You followed him through the doorway and down to the basement, entering into a room that looked exactly like a lab. You could see where it was once just a finished basement, but now there were tables full of various chemicals and, in the corner, a doctor’s examination bed, along with plenty of other things scattered throughout the room.

Plenty of questions flooded your mind, but you thought better than to ask them. The less you knew about what he did outside of work, the better.

“You said your fear was needles, correct?” He asked, causing you to turn and look at him.

“Yes. No particular reason for the fear, though,” you answered.

“I’ll gather everything if you want to go sit down and get ready,” he said in a voice devoid of emotion, as if you were just another patient he was treating.

You stripped naked and sat on the table, feeling what you were sure was going to be a permanent blush on your face.

Jonathan walked over a moment later with a tray that was covered and set the tray on the table. Despite the way he was trying to remain somewhat professional, you noticed the way his eyes raked over your figure, taking in every inch of you.

“Do,” he stopped and cleared his throat, another sign that he was affected by this the same as you were, “do you think you’ll need to be restrained?” He asked.

This time you couldn’t stop yourself from letting the teasing comment leave your lips,

“I don’t think I’d need to be restrained, but I’m okay with a bit of bondage if you are,” you said, a smirk making its way across your lips as you spoke.

Jonathan’s eyes shot to yours and you felt a bit of smug satisfaction at the way you had been able to catch him off guard.

“Quite the little minx, aren’t you?” He asked in a teasing tone of his own.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Crane. Being tied up is just the tip of the iceberg.” With every sign of attraction towards you Jonathan let show, you felt your confidence boost, and this only seemed to spur him on.

He came to stand in front of your naked form, looking down at you and placing a hand under your chin again to keep you from looking away.

“Seems like it,” he agreed. His hand went from under your chin to the back of your neck, “maybe I’ve finally met my match,” he commented before pulling you to him.

Jonathan’s lips met yours in a hungry kiss and the last of your insecurity faded quickly. He kissed you as if he was a starved man and you were the only thing that could satiate his hunger. His tongue slid past your lips as he laid you back on the examination bed and crawled onto it himself. Your hands made their way to his hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a moan from him.

One of his hands went to your hair and pulled, exposing your neck to him. He left a line of kisses down it while nipping at random spots before he continued down further.

“F-fuck, Jonathan,” you moaned out when his mouth attached to one of your nipples.

His hand left your hair to play with your other nipple before he traded off and took your other one into his mouth, letting his tongue dart around it at the same time that his hand trailed between your legs.

“A bit of kissing and having your tits played with you gets you this worked up?” He taunted as he felt just how wet you were already, “Or did the idea of me strapping you to this table and doing as I please with you have something to do with it?”

Another moan fell from your lips as he teased you and began to rub gentle circles on your clit.

“Please, Jonathan,” you whined, your hips pushing against his hand as you desperately tried to get him to apply more pressure than the faint touches he was currently using.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he said in a voice of faux sympathy before pulling his hand away. Before you could protest, he was strapping your wrists to the side of the table and crawling off of you to do the same to your legs.

Your legs were hanging off the edge of the table and bent at the knee and he crouched down to strap your ankles in place. There was no way for you to close your legs from him, leaving you on display.

When he stood back up again, there was an almost predatory look in his eyes as he took you in.

“All tied up for me,” he commented, trailing his hand along your inner thigh as he spoke, “a perfect little toy.”

A shiver ran down your spine at the pet name and it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“All those times I caught you staring at me and I couldn’t figure out why,” be continued teasing, his fingers beginning to rub at your clit again and causing another moan to leave you, “who would’ve known it was you fantasizing about me tying you up and leaving you completely helpless to whatever I decided to do with you?”

With his free hand, he picked up something off of the tray he brought over earlier and revealed the object to you. It was an empty syringe and you felt your heart lurch when your eyes landed on the needle.

A slap was delivered to your inner thigh, causing your eyes to shoot back over to him,

“Eyes on me. You’re my toy, you watch me, not the needle. Understood?”

You nodded your head but another slap was delivered to the opposite thigh,

“Use your words.”

“Yes,” you replied, stopping yourself before you said ‘sir’ and giving him a sly smirk, “yes, Doctor.”

The firm look he had been giving you changed. His eyes darkened and you could see the way he hadn’t expected for the use of his title in that manner to affect him so much.

“Such an obedient little thing,” he praised after a moment before pushing two fingers into you. He immediately curled them upward and caused you to let out another moan. “Such an obedient and twisted little thing. I lead you into my basement, tie you down, and give you a couple slaps and you’re this wet already? I could only imagine how you’d react if I got to treat you exactly how I wanted.”

The entire time he spoke, he was thrusting his fingers in and out of you, making sure to curl them and hit that spot inside you every time while your pathetic moans and whimpers continued filling the space.

“Then again, judging by the way you’re reacting to this, you’d probably get off on it.”

His words should’ve caused some amount of shame inside you, but at the same time they registered in your head, you felt the cold touch of the needle trailing down your cheek and towards your neck. The sensation caused you to freeze for a moment, but when his fingers curled inside you and he used his thumb to begin rubbing at your clit, the shame left your mind.

“Fuck, darling, you might’ve been onto something combining fear and sex,” he said with a chuckle, “Especially if you clench around my cock the way you clenched around my fingers.”

You felt your mind and body battle with themselves as he continued to trail the needle down your body while his fingers continued to work at you. The needle’s presence sent your body into fight or flight, but with nowhere to go, you became keenly aware of every sensation. You could hear the rumble in his voice and the feeling of Jonathan’s fingers inside of you seemed to be amplified, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm already.

“There we go,” he coaxed, “let the pleasure and fear blur together. Cum on my fingers like the good little slut you are while I’ve got a needle pressed against you, and maybe I’ll let you cum on my cock.”

Fuck, you knew there was something wrong with you, but you couldn’t care less. Jonathan’s dirty talk, the unrelenting rhythm of his fingers inside you, his thumb rubbing circles over your clit, and the presence of the needle heightening your senses caused your orgasm to hit you full force.

Your head fell back on the bed as you moaned out and you felt the needle press against your tied up arm. The pace of Jonathan’s fingers never faltered as he pushed you through your orgasm and let you ride out your high.

When he finally did remove them, your head was spinning and your breathing was heavy. It was the sound of his belt hitting the floor that grabbed your attention and caused you to look down at him.

“You have no idea how much control it took for me to not ruin our first session and drop the needle and go ahead and fuck you,” he said, stepping between your legs.

“Thought you said I was your toy? Sounds like that makes it your decision on when you fuck me,” you commented through the haze of your mind.

“It does,” he said, dragging the tip of his dick through your folds, “and I wanted to see the way you looked when you couldn’t decide if fear or lust was going to win out before I fucked every thought out of that pretty little head of yours.”

Whatever response you had was lost as he pushed his cock into you. Your jaw fell slack and a pathetic mix of a whine and moan filled the room as he filled every bit of you. His hands gripped your hips and he gave you just enough time to adjust to the way his cock felt inside of you before he was setting a brutal pace.

A symphony of his name and curses left your mouth and he seemed to revel in the way you sounded and looked beneath him.

“God damn,” he swore, “it’s like your cunt was made for me,” he said while his hand came down to rub at your clit, watching the way your back arched off the table.

“Please, Doctor,” you begged, not even sure what you were begging for.

He sped up the pace of his thrusts and removed his other hand from your hip to begin rolling your nipple in between his fingers, going back and forth between the two.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He taunted, “for me to tie you down and fuck you? For me to use you however I wanted?”

“Y-yes, Doctor,” you stuttered out between moans, feeling your orgasm creep up on you again.

“Such a good little toy. Getting off on being reminded of your place with me,” he chuckled, “Go ahead then. Cum on my cock and prove how much you want to be my little fuck toy.”

It didn’t take much longer for your back to arch off the table again, his fingers still rubbing at your clit in perfect rhythm with his thrusts.

Once he was sure you had ridden out your high, Jonathan’s thrusts sped up and he began chasing his own, cumming inside you after only a moment longer.

The both of you took a couple moments to catch your breath and then he was pulling out of you. He undid your restraints and helped you to sit up, making sure you were okay before kissing you again.

“I meant what I said back at the asylum,” he said against your lips, “No one else.”

You shook your head the slightest bit, still kissing him in between his words, “I don’t want anyone else. I came to you with the idea for a reason.” You pulled away just enough to be able to look him in the eyes, a playful look crossing your face as you spoke again, “Besides, I can’t wait to see your reaction as you learn more of what I’m into if that was the reaction I got for something as simple as being tied up.”

Jonathan chuckled and shook his head slightly,

“You little minx,” he muttered, kissing you once more.

#jonathan crane x you #jonathan crane x reader #jonanathan crane x reader smut #jonathan crane imagine #Jonathan crane x you smut #Jonathan crane #cillian murphy

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olderthannetfic · 7 months ago

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I mean the long and short of "X-passing privilege" is that it's literally a eating your kind own type of rhetoric. This doesn't come from the typical racists, and the queerphobes, or the ableists. The calls come from inside the house, and that doesn't make it any less racist, queerphobic or ableist, but it's just able to slide under the radar. Especially when some idiot specifically from within that group spouts that bullshit.

Literally all those ideas are built on some leftists idea of how things works, and a specific chronic black and white thinking very specific to leftists spaces. Yeah something like that also exists also in rightwing spaces, but that one has a completely different identity and political flavor to it.

White passing as such, doesn't exist in righty rhetoric the way it does in lefty spaces. In leftists spaces white passing is constantly applied to people of a paler complexion, but it's not even needed that the person looks (American) white to be called white-passing. You can have a pale indigenous or black woman, but because she has looser curls and paler skin, she's white passing, despite never fitting in with actual white people. You know what concept makes more sense though? Colorism. But for some reason colorism, which was specifically about inter-ethnic discrimination based on complexion, got twisted and suddenly people have arguments about people who clearly don't look like white people look the most "white".

Straight passing. The completely pointless argument about how your identity as a queer person apparently can be revoked and you have no right to speak on queer issues anymore, and to deny your experiences. Suddenly being forced into the closet is a privilege. And for some suspicious reason that privilege applies 90% to people who're bi, pan, ace, or any other non-monosexual homosexuality. The pattern that this is also clearly aimed at specific groups within the queer umbrella also is painfully obvious when all is needed is that you have a "M/F" looking relationship. But the fact that the label straight-passing also gets applied to very queer looking couples is ignored. Or that it technically would apply to anyone in the closet, single, etc. There's so much about straight passing that literally just denies the entire experience of being queer, based on intercommunity-phobias.

And last but not least, able-bodied passing or NT-passing. Not exactly the biggest slice of the pie, but I don't even think it's called that. Pretending it's a privilege to not be immediately visually disabled, while ignoring how much bullshit the healthcare system heaps on people with invisible disabilities and never get help. As if there aren't positives and downsides to literally every type of disability. Suddenly getting your diagnosis and problems invalidated because you don't "look the part" or because you take away too much attention or whatever.

Honestly, I'm wondering if some of this was born from concepts like "passing" in transgender terms, and people completely missed the point of what it meant in the context of trans people, and then decided to be stupid and cause even more bullshit infighting in already struggling spaces.

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covid-safer-hotties · 9 months ago

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Also preserved on our archive (Daily updates!)

By Stephani Sutherland

Gentle nasal spray vaccines against COVID, the flu and RSV are coming. They may work better than shots in the arm

Alyson Velasquez hates needles. She never liked getting shots as a kid, and her anxiety only grew as she got older. “It really ballooned in my teens and early 20s,” she says. “It became a full-blown phobia.” She would panic at the sight of a needle being brought into an exam room; more than once she passed out. Velasquez says that she took an antianxiety medication before one appointment yet still ran around the room screaming inconsolably “like I was a small child; I was 22.” After that episode Velasquez, now a 34-year-old financial planner in southern California, quit needles completely. “No vaccinations, no bloodwork. For all of my 20s it was a no-go for me,” she says.

Then COVID showed up. “It finally hit a point where it wasn’t just about me,” Velasquez says. “It felt so selfish not to do this for the greater public health and the safety of our global community.” So she got vaccinated against the SARS-CoV-2 virus in 2021, although she had to sit on her husband’s lap while he held her arms. “It was a spectacle. The poor guy at CVS ... he did ask me, ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’” She very much did. “I’m very pro-vaccine. I am a rational human. I understand the necessity of [getting] them,” she insists. But today she still struggles with each injection.

Those struggles would end, however, if all her future vaccinations could be delivered by a nasal spray. “Oh, my God, amazing!” Velasquez says.

The amazing appears to be well on its way. Vaccines delivered through the nose are now being tested for several diseases. In the U.S., early clinical trials are showing success. Two of these vaccines have generated multiple immune system responses against the COVID-causing virus in people who received them through a puff up the nose; earlier this year their makers received nearly $20 million from Project NextGen, the Biden-Harris administration’s COVID medical initiative. Researchers are optimistic that a nasal spray delivering a COVID vaccine could be ready for the U.S. as soon as 2027. Although recent efforts have focused on inoculations against SARS-CoV-2, nasal vaccines could also protect us against the flu, respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), and more.

A few nasal vaccines have been introduced in the past, but they’ve been beset by problems. The flu inoculation FluMist has not gained popularity because of debates about its effectiveness, and a different vaccine was pulled from the market decades ago because some people had serious side effects. In China and India, nasal vaccines for COVID have been approved because those countries prioritized their development during the pandemic, whereas the U.S. and other wealthy nations opted to stick with arm injections. But this new crop of vaccines takes advantage of technology that produces stronger immune responses and is safer than preparations used in the past.

In fact, immunologists say these spritzes up the nose—or inhaled puffs through the mouth—can provide faster, stronger protection against respiratory viruses than a shot in the arm. That is because the new vaccines activate a branch of the immune system that has evolved for robust, rapid responses against airborne germs. “It may be more likely to really prevent infection from getting established,” says Fiona Smaill, an infectious disease researcher at McMaster University in Ontario. Such inoculations may also help reduce the enormous inequities in vaccine access revealed by the pandemic. These formulations should be cheaper and easier to transport to poor regions than current shots.

But nasal vaccines still face technical hurdles, such as how best to deliver them into the body. And unlike injected vaccines, which scientists can measure immune responses to with blood tests alone, testing for immunity that starts in nose cells is more challenging. But researchers working in this field agree that despite the hurdles, nasal formulations are the next step in vaccine evolution.

Traditional vaccines injected through the skin and into an arm muscle provide excellent protection against viruses. They coax immune cells into making widely circulated antibodies—special proteins that recognize specific structural features on viruses or other invading pathogens, glom on to them and mark them for destruction. Other immune cells retain a “memory” of that pathogen for future encounters.

Intramuscular injection vaccines are good at preventing a disease from spreading, but they do not stop the initial infection. A nasal spray does a much better job. That’s because sprays are aimed directly at the spot where many viruses first enter the body: the nose and the tissue that lines it, called the mucosa.

Mucosa makes up much of our bodies’ internal surfaces, stretching from the nose, mouth and throat down the respiratory tract to the lungs, through the gastrointestinal tract to the anus, and into the urogenital tract. Mucosa is where our bodies encounter the vast majority of pathogenic threats, Smaill says, be it flu, COVID, or bacterial infections that attack the gut. This tough, triple-layered tissue is specialized to fight off invaders with its thick coating of secretory goo—mucus—and with a cadre of resident immune cells waiting to attack. “Mucosa is really the first line of defense against any infection we’re exposed to,” Smaill says.

Mucosal immunity not only prepares the immune system for the fight where it occurs but also offers three different types of protection—at least one more than a shot does. Nasal vaccines and shots both mobilize immune messenger cells, which gather the interlopers’ proteins and display them on their surfaces. These cells head to the lymph nodes, where they show off their captured prize to B and T cells, which are members of another part of the immune system called the adaptive arm. B cells, in turn, produce antibodies, molecules that home in on the foreign proteins and flag their owners—the invading microbes—for destruction. Killer T cells directly attack infected cells, eliminating them and the microbes inside. This provides broad protection, but it takes time, during which the virus continues to replicate and spread.

That’s why a second type of protection, offered only by the mucosal tissue, is so important. The mucosa holds cells of the innate immune system, which are the body’s “first responders.” Some of these cells, called macrophages, recognize invasive microbes as foreign and swallow them up. They also trigger inflammation—an alarm sounded to recruit more immune cells.

Another part of this localized response is called tissue-resident immunity. These cells don’t have to detect telltale signs of a pathogen and make a long journey to the infected tissue. They are more like a Special Forces unit dropped behind enemy lines where a skirmish is occurring rather than waiting for the proverbial cavalry to arrive. This localized reaction can be quite potent. Its activation is notoriously difficult to demonstrate, however, so historically it’s been hard for vaccine makers to show they’ve hit the mark. But it turns out that one type of antibody, called IgA, is a good indicator of mucosal immunity because IgAs tend to predominate in the mucosa rather than other parts of the body. In an early trial of CoviLiv, a nasal COVID vaccine produced by Codagenix, about half of participants had detectable IgA responses within several weeks after receiving two doses. That trial also showed the vaccine was safe and led to NextGen funding for a larger trial of the vaccine’s efficacy.

It’s possible an inhaled vaccine may provide yet one more layer of protection, called trained innate immunity. This reaction is a bit of a mystery: although immunologists know it exists and appears also to be produced by intramuscular injections, they can’t quite explain how it works. Immune cells associated with trained innate immunity seem to have memorylike responses, reacting quickly against subsequent infections. They also have been found to respond against pathogens entirely unrelated to the intended vaccine target. Smaill and her colleagues found that when they immunized mice with an inhaled tuberculosis vaccine and then challenged them with pneumococcal bacteria, the mice were protected. In children, there is some evidence that a tuberculosis vaccine, in the arm, generates this type of broad response against other diseases.

Akiko Iwasaki, an immunologist at Yale University who is working to develop a nasal vaccination for COVID, sees two major potential benefits to nasal immunity in addition to better, faster, more localized protection. First, attacking the virus in the nose could prevent the disease from being transmitted to others by reducing the amount of virus that people breathe out. And second, Iwasaki says, the spray may limit how deeply the infection moves into the body, so “we believe that it will also prevent long COVID.” That debilitating postinfection condition, sometimes marked by signs of entrenched viral particles, disables people with extreme fatigue, chronic pain, a variety of cognitive difficulties, and other symptoms.

Making a new vaccine is hard, regardless of how you administer it. It needs to raise an immune response that’s strong enough to protect against future invasions but not so strong that the components of that response—such as inflammation and fever—harm the host.

The lining of the nose puts up its own barriers—literal, physical ones. Because the nasal mucosa is exposed to so many irritants from the air, ranging from pet hair to pollen, the nose has multiple lines of defense against invading pathogens. Nostril hair, mucus, and features called cilia that sweep the nasal surface all aim to trap small foreign objects before they can get deeper into the body—and that includes tiny droplets of vaccine.

And lots of small foreign particles—often harmless—still make it through those defenses. So the nose has developed a way to become less reactive to harmless objects. This dampened reactivity is called immunological tolerance, and it may be the biggest hurdle to successful development of a nasal vaccine. When foreign particles show up in the bloodstream, a space that is ostensibly sterile, immune cells immediately recognize them as invaders. But mucosal surfaces are constantly bombarded by both pathogens and harmless materials. The immune system uses tolerance—a complex series of decisions carried out by specialized cells—to determine whether a substance is harmful. “This is very important because we can’t have our lungs or gastrointestinal tract always responding to nonharmful foreign entities that they encounter,” says Yale infectious disease researcher Benjamin Goldman-Israelow. For example, inflammation in the lungs would make it hard to breathe; in the gut, it would prevent the absorption of water and nutrients.

These barriers may hamper the effectiveness of a nasal flu vaccine that’s been around for a while, called FluMist in the U.S. and Fluenz in Europe. The inoculation is safe, says infectious disease scientist Michael Diamond of Washington University in St. Louis, but it faces a similar problem as do injected flu vaccines: it isn’t very effective at warding off new seasonal flu strains. This might be because flu strains are so common, and people are frequently infected by the time they are adults. Their immune systems are already primed to recognize and destroy familiar flu particles. FluMist is built from a live flu virus, so immune cells probably treat the vaccine as an invader and demolish it as soon as it shows up in the nose, before it has a chance to do any good. This preexisting immunity isn’t such an issue in children, who are less likely to have had multiple flu infections. Nasal flu vaccines are routinely used to inoculate kids in Europe.

In other vaccines, researchers often use adjuvants, special agents that attract the attention of immune cells, to boost a response. Some nasal vaccines use adjuvants to overcome tolerance, but in the nose, adjuvants can pose unique dangers. In at least one case, a nasal adjuvant led to disastrous consequences. An intranasal vaccine for influenza, licensed in Switzerland for the 2000–2001 season, used a toxin isolated from Escherichia coli bacteria as an adjuvant to provoke a reaction to the inactivated virus. No serious side effects were reported during the trial period, but once the vaccine was released, Swiss officials saw a concerning uptick in cases of Bell’s palsy, a disease that causes weakness or paralysis of the facial muscles, often leading to a drooping or disfigured face. Researchers at the University of Zurich estimated that the adjuvanted flu vaccine had increased the risk of contracting Bell’s palsy by about 20 times, and the vaccine was discontinued. “We need to be cautious about using adjuvants like that from known pathogens,” says pharmaceutical formulations scientist Vicky Kett of Queen’s University Belfast in Northern Ireland.

To get around the challenges posed by the nose, some researchers are exploring vaccines inhaled through the mouth. Smaill is working on one of them. She and her McMaster colleagues aerosolized their vaccine for COVID into a fine mist delivered by a nebulizer, from which it rapidly reaches the lungs. Experiments in mice have shown promising results, with mucosal immunity established after administration of the vaccine.

Another vaccine strategy is to use a harmless virus to carry viral genes or proteins. Researchers at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City selected a bird pathogen, Newcastle disease virus (NDV). “It’s naturally a respiratory pathogen,” so it infects nasal cells, says Michael Egan, CEO and chief scientific officer of CastleVax, a company that formed to develop the NDV vaccine for COVID. A small early clinical trial showed the CastleVax vaccine was safe and caused robust immune responses in people. “Those results were very promising,” Egan says. People who received the vaccine also produced antibodies that indicated multitiered mucosal immunity, not simply the adaptive immunity from a shot in the arm.

Following that trial, the CastleVax project received NextGen funding, and results from a trial of 10,000 people are expected in 2026. Half of those people will receive a messenger RNA (mRNA) injection, and half will get the new NDV nasal spray. The data should show whether the new nasal vaccine can do a better job of preventing infection than the mRNA injections. Egan has high hopes. “We’re expecting to see a lot fewer breakthrough infections in people who got the vaccine up the nose by virtue of having those mucosal immune responses,” he says.

Florian Krammer, one of the Mount Sinai researchers behind the vaccine, engineered NDV particles to display a stabilized version of the spike protein that’s so prominent in SARS-CoV-2. “You end up with a particle that’s covered with spike,” he says. Spike protein in the bloodstream can raise an immune response. But the NDV vaccine works in another way, too. The virus particle can also get into cells, where it can replicate enough times to cause virus particles to emerge from the cells, provoking another immune reaction. Before moving into human trials, however, researchers had to complete clinical trials to establish that the Newcastle virus is truly harmless because the nose is close to the central nervous system—it has neurons that connect to the olfactory bulb, which is part of the brain. Those trials confirmed that it is safe for this use.

Nasal sprays aim directly at the spot where most viruses first enter the body: the nose. This type of caution is one reason a COVID nasal vaccine approved in India hasn’t been adopted by the U.S. or other countries. The inoculation, called iNCOVACC, uses a harmless simian adenovirus to carry the spike protein into the airway. The research originated in the laboratories of Diamond and some of his colleagues at Washington University at the start of the pandemic, when they tested the formulation on rodents and nonhuman primates. “The preclinical data were outstanding,” Diamond says. Around the time he and his colleagues published initial animal results in Cell in 2020, Bharat Biotech in India licensed the idea from the university. In a 2023 phase 3 clinical trial in India, the nasal vaccine produced superior systemic immunity compared with a shot.

Diamond says American drug companies didn’t pursue this approach, because “they wanted to use known quantities,” such as the mRNA vaccines, which were already proving themselves in clinical trials in 2020. As the pandemic took hold, there was little appetite to develop nasal vaccine technology to stimulate mucosal immunity while the tried-and-true route of shots in the arm was available and working. But now, four years later, an inhaled vaccine using technology similar to iNCOVACC’s is being developed for approval in the U.S. by biotech company Ocugen. Both inhaled and nasal forms of the vaccine are set to undergo clinical trials as part of Project NextGen. These new vaccines are using classical vaccine methods based on the virus rather than using new, mRNA-based technology. The mRNA preparations were developed specifically for intramuscular injections and would have to be significantly modified.

Codagenix, which is developing CoviLiv, sidestepped the need for a new viral vector or an adjuvant by disabling a live SARS-CoV-2 virus. To make it safe, scientists engineered a version of the virus with 283 mutations, alterations to its genetic code that make it hard for the virus to replicate and harm the body. Without all these genetic changes, there would be a chance the virus could revert to a dangerous, pathogenic form. But with hundreds of key mutations, “statistically, it’s basically impossible that this will revert back to a live virus in the population,” says Johanna Kaufmann, who helped to develop the vaccine before leaving Codagenix for another company earlier this year.

Because most people on the planet have now been exposed to SARS-CoV-2—in the same way they’re regularly exposed to the flu—some nasal vaccines are being designed as boosters for a preexisting immune response that is starting to wane. For example, Yale researchers Iwasaki and Goldman-Israelow are pursuing a strategy in animals deemed “prime and spike.”

The idea is to start with a vaccine injection—the “prime” that stimulates adaptive immunity—then follow it a few weeks later with a nasal puff that “spikes” the system with more viral protein, leading to mucosal immunity. In a study published in 2022 in Science, Iwasaki and her colleagues reported that they primed rodents with the mRNA vaccine developed by Pfizer and BioNTech, the same shot so many of us have received. Two weeks later some of the mice received an intranasal puff of saline containing a fragment of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein. Because the animals had some preexisting immunity from the shot, the researchers didn’t add any adjuvants to heighten the effects of the nasal puff. Two weeks later researchers detected stronger signs of mucosal immunity in mice that had received this treatment compared with mice that got only the shot.

“Not only can we establish tissue-resident memory T cells” to fight off the virus in the nose, Iwasaki says, but the prime-and-spike method also produces those vigorous IgA antibodies in the mucosal layer. “And that’s much more advantageous because we can prevent the virus from ever infecting the host,” she notes. The study suggests that this approach might also lessen the chances of transmitting the disease to others because of the lower overall viral load. Experiments in hamsters demonstrated that vaccinated animals shed less virus, and they were less likely to contract COVID from infected cage mates that had not been vaccinated themselves.

Although most of the new vaccine strategies are aimed at COVID, nasal vaccines for other diseases are already being planned. Kaufmann, formerly of Codagenix, says the company currently has clinical trials underway for nasal vaccines against flu and RSV. CastleVax’s Egan says “we have plans to address other pathogens” such as RSV and human metapneumovirus, another leading cause of respiratory disease in kids.

Vaccines that don’t need to be injected could clear many barriers to vaccine access worldwide. “We saw with COVID there was no vaccine equity,” Smaill says. Many people in low-income countries never received a shot; they are still going without one four years after the vaccines debuted.

In part, this inequity is a consequence of the high cost of delivering a vaccine that needs to stay frozen on a long journey from manufacturing facilities in wealthy countries. Some of the nasal sprays in development don’t need deep-cold storage, so they might be easier to store and transport. And a nasal spray or an inhaled puff would be much easier to administer than a shot. No health professional is required, so people could spray it into their noses or mouths at home.

For these reasons, needle-free delivery matters to the World Health Organization. The WHO is using the Codagenix nasal spray in its Solidarity Trial Vaccines program to improve vaccine equity. The CoviLiv spray is now in phase 3 clinical trials around the world as part of this effort. “The fact that the WHO was still interested in a primary vaccination trial in the geographies it’s passionate about—that’s indicative that there is still a gap,” Kaufmann says. CoviLiv was co-developed with the Serum Institute of India, the world’s largest maker of vaccines by dose. The partnership enabled production at the high volume required for Solidarity.

The CastleVax vaccine with the NDV vector provides another layer of equity because the facilities required to make it already exist in many low- and middle-income countries. “The cool thing is that NDV is a chicken virus, so it grows very well in embryonated eggs—that’s exactly the system used for making flu vaccines,” Krammer says. For example, for a clinical trial in Thailand, “we just shipped them the seed virus, and then they produced the vaccine and ran the clinical trials,” he says. Many countries around the world have similar facilities, so they will not need to depend on pharma companies based in richer places.

Even high-income countries face barriers to vaccination, although they may be more personal than systemic. For very many people, the needle itself is the problem. Extreme phobia such as Velasquez’s is uncommon, but many people have a general fear of needles that makes vaccinations stressful or even impossible for them. For about one in 10 people needle-related fear or pain is a barrier to vaccinations, says C. Meghan McMurtry, a psychologist at the University of Guelph in Ontario. Needle fear “is present in most young kids and in about half of adolescents. And 20 to 30 percent of adults have some level of fear.” A review of studies of children showed that “concern around pain and needle fear are barriers to vaccination in about 8 percent of the general population and about 18 percent in the vaccine-hesitant population,” McMurtry adds.

Some people are wary of injected vaccines even if they’re not afraid of needles, Kett says; they see injections as too invasive even if the needle doesn’t bother them. “We’re hopeful that something administered by the nasal route would be less likely to come across some of those issues,” Kett says.

In the U.S., however, sprays and puffs won’t be available until they are approved by the Food and Drug Administration, which requires clear evidence of disease protection. As Diamond points out, standards for such evidence are well established for injections, and vaccine makers can follow the rule book: regulations point to particular antibodies and specific ways to measure them with a simple blood test. But for nasal vaccines, Iwasaki says, “we don’t have a standard way to collect nasal mucus or measure antibody titers. All these practical issues have not been worked out.”

Iwasaki is also frustrated with a restriction by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that stops researchers from using existing COVID vaccines in basic research to develop new nasal sprays. The rule is a holdover from 2020, when COVID injections had just been developed and were in short supply; people had to wait to get vaccinated until they were eligible based on factors such as age and preexisting conditions. “That made sense back then, but those concerns are years old; things are different now,” Iwasaki says. “Now we have excess vaccine being thrown out, and we cannot even get access to the waste, the expired vaccine.”

Today scientists want to contrast the effectiveness of nasal formulations with injections already in use. “Those comparisons are really important for convincing the FDA that this is a worthy vaccine to pursue,” Iwasaki says. But the restriction has held up studies by her company, Xanadu, slowing down work. (The CDC did not respond to a request for comment.)

Despite the bureaucratic and scientific hurdles, the sheer number of nasal vaccines now in clinical trials encourages Iwasaki and other scientists pursuing the needle-free route. They say it seems like only a matter of time before getting vaccinated will be as simple as a spritz up the nose.

Velasquez, for one, can’t wait for that day to arrive. The circumstances that finally forced her to reckon with her fear of needles (a global pandemic, the prospect of parenthood and the numerous blood tests that accompanied her pregnancy) were so much bigger than her. If not for them, she might still be avoiding shots. “So having vaccines without needles—I would get every vaccine any doctor wanted me to get, ever. It would be a complete game changer for me.”

#vaccination #mask up #covid #pandemic #public health #wear a mask #covid 19 #wear a respirator #still coviding #coronavirus #sars cov 2 #get vaccinated #vaccinate your kids

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kikyoupdates · 4 months ago

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Leave Your Mark ⭑˚🧪⭑ 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑔

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You didn’t accomplish anything in your previous life. Looking back on it, you feel nothing but regret, and you yearn for the chance to do things differently. As it turns out, your wish is answered, and you are reborn into your favorite fictional world. This time, you resolve to make a change, and you have the means to do it. You won’t be content with just sitting on the sidelines and letting life pass you by. You will live boldly and vibrantly, as if every moment is your last. No matter what it takes, you are going to leave your mark.

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Several years have passed, and much to your immense relief, Chisaki hasn’t done anything that warrants being called a villain.

You’re ten, and he’s now seventeen. Unfortunately, it seems like his mysophobia is here to stay. You’ve tried to get him to see reason more times than you can even count, but without professional help or the willingness to stop being so goddamn stubborn, this isn’t something that will just magically disappear.

But it’s okay. Having a phobia doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll go on to do bad things. There are plenty of people living with phobias in this world, and even though you feel sorry that they have to suffer, they still find ways to cope and move forward with their lives. There’s no reason the same can’t hold true for Chisaki. He’s got a convoluted way of thinking, that much is an indisputable fact, but he can still be a decent, law-abiding citizen.

Nothing else has really changed. Chisaki refuses to remove his mask—as well as his gloves, which he started wearing a while ago—unless he’s around either you or Pops. He’s just about as moody and condescending as always, but you’ve made peace with the fact that it’s simply his crappy personality at work.

You don’t have any overly idealistic expectations for him. It’s not like he has to be an angel.

He just has to not be a total psychopath.

Anyways, other than the fact that his phobia remains uncured, everything’s been fine for the most part. In canon, you recall that he used to go around picking fights with people if they ever disrespected the Shie Hassaikai, but so far, that hasn’t happened. Perhaps it’s because you’re such a strong advocate for resolving things without resorting to violence. It may be that he’s making an effort to control himself on your behalf.

Whatever the case, he has yet to do anything truly fucked up, and you can only hope that it stays that way.

Besides, you’ve got other things to focus on right now. Namely, the fact that Eri’s mom just showed up with a visibly pregnant belly.

“Big Sis!” you cry out excitedly, wasting no time before rushing towards her. True to her word, she’s made an effort these past few years to be more involved in your life, and you feel confident about the fact that you’ve cultivated a decent relationship with her.

She giggles when you latch onto her and start nuzzling your face against her round stomach. “Hello, [Name]. You’re as cute as ever, I see. Based on how you’ve been growing up, I get the feeling that you’ll be a heartbreaker when you get into your teens.”

“I am pretty gorgeous,” you reply smugly, flipping your hair for added effect.

“And I see your ego’s been growing as well,” she laughs. “It’s nice and healthy, just like your older brother’s. Actually... maybe that’s a bit of a stretch.”

“No one’s ego is as big as Kai’s,” you agree with a sigh. “Even this one blonde dude I’m thinking of is no match for him.”

“Blonde dude?”

“Um... it’s nothing. Don't worry about it.” You gently press a palm against her belly, waiting to see if you’ll feel a little kick. Nothing happens, but it’s amazing to know that you’ve technically met Eri before she’s even been born.

When this sweet, innocent girl comes into the world... you desperately hope that nothing but happiness awaits her. You’ll do anything in your power to make sure that’s the case.

“Do you know the baby’s gender yet?” you ask, feigning ignorance.

“We actually just had an ultrasound the other day,” she replies happily. “I’ve got a baby girl growing inside of me. We've been trying to come up with some names too, but I wanted to run a few of them by you.”

“Of course,” you beam. “I’d love to help name the baby.”

“Well, what do you think of Hana?”

“It’s alright, but I’m not really feeling it.”

“What about Akane?”

“Same as before, it’s just kind of alright.”

“Hikari?”

“I don’t know. Not exactly a home run.”

She pauses for a moment, then parts her lips one last time. “Okay, then... how about Eri? I’ve been holding onto that name for a long time. My husband seems to like it too. As of now, it’s probably our number one choice.”

Almost immediately, you’re grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Eri sounds perfect. That one’s definitely a keeper.”

“I was really hoping you’d say that,” she hums, rubbing her belly. “I guess I’ve made up my mind, then. Baby Eri. I can’t believe that in just a few months, I’ll have a child of my own. It feels like it’s all happening so fast.”

You stare at her intently, and even though your expression doesn’t show it, there’s a tightness in your chest that makes it feel like your heart might explode.

“Please take good care of Eri,” you say, eyes clear and solemn. “She’s going to be your little girl, and I’m sure you’ll love her very much, so... stick with her, no matter what happens. Can you promise me you’ll do that?”

She tilts her head at you, visibly confused. “Well... of course I will. What a silly thing to say. Why wouldn’t I look after my own child? Your big sister isn’t quite as unreliable as you seem to think she is.”

It’s obvious that she thinks you’re just saying random, nonsensical things, and she even pinches your cheek and chuckles. You can tell that she hasn’t really taken your words to heart. After all, why would she ever assume that she’s going to abandon her daughter?

But it’s precisely because you know that she already has abandoned her daughter that you’re so worried. If only she’d taken better care of Eri. If only she’d made sure to always watch over her and keep her as far away from Chisaki as possible.

You suppose there’s no point in dwelling on a different timeline, one where you don’t even exist. So long as things go better in this reality, that’s what really matters.

“I can already tell that Eri’s going to be super pretty, just like you,” you smile.

“Aw. Aren’t you such a darling?” She pokes the tip of your nose and pulls you into a quick embrace. “Since we’re technically siblings, once Eri is born, that means you’ll be an aunt. Auntie [Name], just a little kid herself. It’s quite funny to picture it.”

“I’ll be the best aunt ever,” you proudly declare.

“I’m sure you will. Honestly, I can’t help but worry that Eri might end up liking you more than me.”

“Sorry,” you shrug. “It’s not my fault I’m amazing.”

Eri’s mom laughs, and she squeezes you close one last time before pulling away, using a hand to support her belly.

“Well, it was very nice seeing you, [Name],” she says. “I promised my father I’d go say hi to him too. Things are getting quite hectic, so I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to visit during the pregnancy, but I promise to send word as soon as Eri is born.”

You nod happily. It’s good that she seems so excited. Surely, that bodes well for the future. If she truly loves her child, then nothing will scare her away, even once Eri’s Quirk manifests. You wonder if there’s also a way to prevent the death of Eri’s father, but given that you have no clue when her powers will appear, it seems fairly impossible.

Still. Whether or not Eri’s father remains in the picture, you hope that in this life, at least one of her parents will be there to look after her.

“This is Kurono,” Pops announces. “He’s around your age, Chisaki, and starting today, he will be joining the Shie Hassaikai.”

Ah. There he is. You were actually wondering when Chisaki’s devoted right-hand man would make his appearance. It’s kind of funny, though. In the canon series, you recall Kurono being loyal to a fault, willing to do anything so long as it would further Chisaki’s ideals. Calling him a fanboy isn’t even that big of an exaggeration. When it comes to Chisaki, this guy is whipped.

That’s what makes this whole thing so ironic. The way that Chisaki is glaring at him as if he just spotted a steaming turd.

“Kai, play nice,” you laugh, then you turn towards Kurono with a smile. “Sorry. You’ll have to forgive my socially inept older brother. He doesn’t get out much.”

Instead of responding verbally, Kurono just lifts a brow. Meanwhile, Chisaki appears to be mashing his teeth in frustration. It’s easy to tell, even with the mask he’s wearing.

“I am not socially inept,” he mutters. “I just don’t like people.”

“Tomato, potato,” you shrug. “All I know is that whenever someone comes out of a conversation with you, they’re not smiling.”

Chisaki balls his gloved hand into a fist, makes a big show of shaking it at you, and the whole time, Kurono stands by and watches with an incredulous expression.

“Um, this is a yakuza group, isn’t it?” he frowns.

Pops belly-laughs. “Yes, yes. But you’ll find that our organization is quite respectable. Although [Name] and Chisaki certainly do a good job of brightening it up even more.” He pauses for a few moments, then narrows his eyes. “Well... mostly [Name], if I’m being honest.”

“Pops,” Chisaki gasps. “Not you too!”

Now it’s your turn to laugh, and you practically jump onto Chisaki, reveling in the warmth of his embrace. Now that he’s nearly an adult, the difference in height between the two of you is downright staggering. He looks identical to how he appeared in the anime and manga. But because the past few years have gone off without a hitch (minus his pesky phobia), you are still able to find comfort in his arms.

“Don’t worry,” you grin. “We like to tease every now and then, but we love you lots, Kai. And I love you the most out of anyone!”

To emphasize your statement, you push up on the balls of your feet, tug Chisaki’s sleeve to pull him closer, then plant a sloppy, exaggerated kiss on his cheek.

Unsurprisingly, he recoils, and you’re worried that you might have upset him. He’s comfortable enough around you and Pops for hugs and that kind of stuff, but you fear that a kiss may be crossing the line.

You look up at him with a guilty expression. “Um, I’m sorry. Maybe I should have thought that through a bit more...”

You wouldn’t blame him if he got mad at you right now. He can’t help the way his phobia works, and it’s highly likely that you’ve pushed him too far.

But much to your surprise, instead of looking disgusted or snapping at you, he just stands perfectly still and blinks.

Are you imagining things right now, or did his face just turn red?

“Oh my,” Pops chuckles. “Are you blushing, Chisaki?”

“D-Don’t be ridiculous,” Chisaki dismisses, but for all his self-assuredness and usual composure, he’s doing a very poor job of being convincing.

Chisaki Kai just blushed and stuttered. Did I bump my head earlier or something? Am I actually trapped in a long-ass dream?

You pinch your cheek, and sure enough, it hurts. Not to mention the fact that you’ve already been reincarnated into a fictional world. Perhaps you should suspend your disbelief, because clearly, all kinds of crazy shit can happen around here.

Pops folds his hands into the sleeves of his kimono and smiles warmly. “As you can see, we are a very tight-knit household. By joining the Shie Hassaikai, you can consider yourself an extended family of sorts. So long as you act in a way befitting our values, we will always make sure that you’re taken care of.”

Kurono glances back over at you. Chisaki is still blushing, and being the little rascal that you are, you refuse to stop teasing him about it.

“I see,” Kurono says. You don’t notice it because you’re too busy annoying the crap out of Chisaki, but for just a moment, Kurono smiles as well. “Thank you for having me. I think... I’ll really enjoy my time here.”

And he does. Well, you think he does, at least. Just like Chisaki, he’s not exactly the most expressive of the bunch, but you still have a pretty good sense of whether or not he’s happy.

You expected as much based on how things turned out in canon, but Kurono quickly becomes attached to Chisaki, and makes it his mission to help him out as much as possible.

“I made sure to buy the extra-soft toilet paper that you like,” Kurono says, bowing his head as he extends the toilet paper out like some sort of offering.

Chisaki gives him a deadpan stare, and it takes all your strength not to laugh your ass off.

Kurono’s attempts to win Chisaki over don’t stop there, though. You can tell that he’s making a conscious effort to discern what Chisaki likes and dislikes. And, well... since your older brother is a picky son-of-a-bitch, the list of his dislikes goes on and on.

“Absolutely disgusting,” Chisaki grimaces, pointing to an unwashed plate that someone left out earlier. Someone who will remain unnamed. It definitely wasn’t you, though. No. Definitely not.

Kurono nods fervently, and you imagine him writing a mental note to himself that Chisaki can’t stand the sight of dirty dishes.

“That’s disgusting too,” Chisaki says. “And so is that one over there. Ugh.”

To be honest, you’re not even really paying attention anymore. You’ve listened to Chisaki rant about things more times than you can count. Since you’ve lived with him for roughly eight years now, you feel like you’ve done your due diligence. It’s Kurono’s turn to suffer through Chisaki’s tireless droning, and luckily, he seems perfectly happy to do it.

“Understood,” Kurono nods again, focusing so intently it’s a miracle steam hasn’t come out of his ears. “Don’t worry, Kai. I’ll make sure to clean up around here and keep everything tidy, just the way you like it.”

Alright, alright, we get it. You’re in love with him. Try dialing it back a notch, buddy.

“Please don’t expose me to anything inappropriate,” you hum. “I’m still only ten years old. I don’t want to grow up with trauma.”

Chisaki and Kurono both stare at you in confusion. The joke has clearly gone way over their heads, which honestly makes it a million times funnier.

Anyways, long story short, Kurono takes his position in the Shie Hassaikai remarkably seriously, and since Chisaki is the same age as him, you can tell that he’s hoping to form some sort of kinship. The poor bastard hasn’t yet realized that Chisaki is about as friendly as a bear who’s just come out of hibernation, but hey, he’s welcome to keep trying.

For a few good weeks, there’s nothing much to report. Kurono sticks to Chisaki’s side like glue, even when Chisaki snaps at him and tells him to piss off. You actually admire Kurono’s diligence, and their interactions are usually quite funny to watch, too.

Still. Kurono’s progress is marginal at best, and Chisaki is nowhere near ready to accept him.

Then, one day, an opportunity lands in Kurono’s lap.

You’re having a good time. Since you’re still only ten years old, and your mind is several years more advanced, you can afford to slack off when it comes to studying. This means that you have a lot of free time on your hands—time which you devote almost entirely towards honing your Quirk.

You’re pleased to report that you’ve gotten better with it. Using it to perform telekinesis still isn’t easy, but there’s definitely a considerable improvement from how you were a few years ago. The crappy part is that you have to hide your Quirk training sessions from Chisaki, because he usually makes a big stink about it. Nothing exhausts you more than being nagged by him for inordinate periods of time.

So, you train in secret. It allows you to focus more clearly, and you like having the space to properly reflect on your mistakes.

Everything is going well. Really well, as a matter of fact. Perhaps that’s why you get so excited. You just can’t help yourself. Living in this world and getting to meet all these characters, and also having big dreams and aspirations for the future... it’s kind of impossible not to get carried away.

“I’m kick-ass!” you cry out in a fit of glee. Today’s training session went so much better than you expected, and before you can take a breath to collect yourself, a few fateful words leave your lips. “I might seriously become a hero at this rate!”

You collapse to the ground, exhausted, but immeasurably happy.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last.

“...you’re going to become a what?”

Just like that, your mood plummets faster than you can even blink. You turn around, barely stifling a gasp, and your eyes land on a young man standing by the doorway, who has clearly just overheard everything.

It’s not Chisaki, and for that, you thank your lucky stars. Still, you didn’t intend for anyone to find out about this, and based on the way Kurono is glaring at you, he clearly isn’t happy with what he’s just discovered.

You press your lips together, trying not to show how fazed you are. Dammit, dammit, dammit! What is he doing over here?! You specifically chose this location because he and Chisaki were on the opposite end of the building, and they seemed occupied enough for you to sneak in a quick training session. You were convinced that he would be glued to Chisaki for the rest of the evening, just like he usually is.

“Hi, Kurono,” you reply weakly, straining a smile. “What’s up?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” he snaps.

Ugh. Just like Chisaki, it’s impossible to calm him down once he’s riled up about something. Still, you most certainly can play dumb, and that’s precisely what you intend to do.

“Huh? Oh.” You chuckle sheepishly and scratch your cheek. “I guess I got a little excited there, didn’t I? Sorry. I was happy that my Quirk was cooperating for a change, but I definitely didn’t need to yell out that I’m kick-ass or whatever...”

“That’s not the only thing you said,” Kurono glares. “I heard you. I heard you say that you’re planning on becoming a hero.”

You tilt your head to the side and pretend to look confused. “What are you talking about? I know I was acting kind of cringy, but that’s taking it too far.”

“You said, and I quote, that you might seriously become a hero at this rate. I know what I heard.”

“Um... no, I didn’t. I think you might need to get your ears checked. Seriously, is everything okay?”

“I know what I heard,” Kurono insists, and he steps closer to you, narrowing his eyes until they’re scarcely more than slits. “I’m not an idiot, so you’d better come clean while you still can.”

Oh my god, just shut up and let me gaslight you, for fuck’s sake!

“Kurono, you’re acting weird,” you frown, fully intent on sticking to your story until the very end.

“Ha.” The chuckle that leaves his lips is humorless at best, and for a few moments, he just stares at you, as if he’s pondering his next course of action.

Suddenly, his eyes widen.

“Kai won’t like this,” he mumbles. “Kai won’t like it one bit. But... I’ll be the one to tell him. I’ll be the one to nip this problem in the bud. And he’ll thank me for it. He’ll thank me for bringing such a serious issue to his attention.”

Your heart drops into your stomach, and as much as you try to play it off and act cool, on the inside, you are freaking the fuck out.

“You’re just making things up,” you say, voice trembling slightly. “Why are you lying and trying to create conflict for no reason? It’s pointless, anyways. Kai won’t believe you. I’m his little sister, and he’ll take my word over yours any day.”

Some strange emotion glints in Kurono’s eyes. You can’t tell if it’s cruelty, amusement, or a twisted combination of the two.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. He’s already made up his mind.

“Whether Kai believes me or not... let’s find out for ourselves, shall we?”

More chapters are available on Quotev, Ao3 and Wattpad!

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pigeonstab · 4 months ago

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!!!!French question!!!!

Can you use juste in the same kind of ways as in english or is it different? Like, instead of saying "je n'ai que sept chats" could you say "j'ai juste sept chats" or does that not really make sense?

Also!! Is college au Cross still afraid of cows? I don't assume there would be any around a college campus so I don't think it would come up unless they went somewhere else during break or something really weird happened lol

AND!!!!! If Epic found out about the whole blood oath thing (assuming he and Cross are back in contact) do you think he would make Killer do something too? Like maybe not signing something in blood because ew gross but some kinda goofy ritual to be worthy of his bruh and so they're even?

FINALLY!!!!!! Good morning c: Je vais au travail dans une heure (méchant) je t'aime et à plus tard!!

Hullo Charlie!!

To answer you... Yes and no? Technically it works but it just doesn't sound very natural? The combination of two J words with the end of juste in s following right into the beginning of 'sept' makes it kind of a tongue twister lol like I'm slurring my words tryna get this out X'D but that might just be a me thing.

'Juste' can work like 'just' but it's maybe not the word francophones will run to? It totally works sometimes like in "it's just that-" -> "c'est juste que" but I do think a ne que negative tends to be more common. 'Just' isn't as used or popular in French I'm afraid (this feels very subjective so take that with a grain of salt, I think stuff like that is something you learn by hearing the language in action, how often people use it and where, all of that)

College AU!! Cross is afraid of everything. Yes he is still deathly afraid of cows, not in a phobia way? Just in a 'there is a huge animal and it is looking at me and moving towards me and I don't like it' way. He's like that with most animals. Once Killer maybe gets new cats he's panicking as soon as one gets onto his lap like 'Killer- Killer your cat is on me- Killer can you get it off-- stop laughing and help me!!" He's all tense and he doesn't wanna touch it so he can't get it off himself X'D

I do think College au Epic is really protective of Cross, almost to make up for the time in Cross's life that he couldn't be? He wouldn't go to Killer though, probably straight to Nightmare, because y'know he's the reason for the blood oath and stuff. I think he'd give him a very piercing shovel talk and then follow it up with a stupid joke. Nightmare may be old but he's not one to take a threat lightly even from a normie (I don't remember if I made Epic a vampire or nah, I think he was a normie, I'll go look and edit it if needed)

He doesn't think someone that seems weaker isn't capable of causing him real harm and he takes extra measures to make sure not to get on Epic's bad side. Cross gets ice cream out of it. (And an eternal vow of protection from an almost two millennia old vampire, but that's not that important) there are enough people he cares about that don't want harm on Cross. So Nightmare takes him into the fold.

Good luck at work I love you too byeeee

#answered asks #Charlie Somegrumpynerd #college au #Vampire Nightmare Sans #Werewolf Cross sans #Half-Spirit Epic Sans #don't look at that tag #College au rambles #French lessons

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v4ngelix · 2 years ago

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Here’s Part 2 of some ideas I’m doodled for my Winx rewrite

Last post seemed to do better than I expected and I’m glad a few people enjoyed it. So here are some more things I want to work with.

I like Artu and Roxy’s relationship but I would have also liked some backstory on them and more depth. Like Gantlos said “it’s just a dog”. How did Roxy get Artu? Is he adopted or bought? Is there a reason he doesn’t like anyone outside of Roxy and Klaus?

In my rewrite, yes. Abandoned as a puppy, a kid Roxy took him in after her mother left her dad unexpectedly. She basically raised Artu and he means a lot to her, but she never socialised him since she herself isn’t social with people (so while Artu may tolerate someone’s prescence he doesn’t like being touched or seen upclose). Roxy raising Artu is also why she gets pissed and earns her fairy form but doesn’t want the fairy gig since it ended up hurting her dog, because as a fairy the wizards are after her and Gantlos hurt Artu.

Speaking of Gantlos

Gantlos my beloved you’re so fucking bland the only personality trait you have is having fucked up pointy hands and a cool hat <3

Ok in all honestly I like his apathy to animals and the Winx in general, but that also applies to the other wizards to some extent. At least you can say something about the other wizards; Orgon’s voice is top tier, Duman has really cool powers and design, Anagan’s banter with Flora’s entertaining. This one’s technically a headcannon I made cannon in the rewrite. I did my research btw.

Gantlos has a pretty intense fear of deers also called Elafiphobia, even asking Duman to not shapeshift into one. It’s pretty bad, seeing a deer gets him pretty close to a panic attack. I’m not going to spoil why but I’ll say it’s a consequence of the Great Fairy Hunt. In fact all the Wizards despite being the cause have been affected by the fairy hunt, either overall or because of a major event. Gantlos’ deer phobia is also why he doesn’t like/care about animals initially, I mean, why should he like them? Just cause they’re cute? Hah!

Apart from Riven and Musa I hate the melodrama in season 4 it’s so shit. Since in my version Sky isn’t in the story cause king stuff, Mitzi is narratively cremated and Nabu doesn’t die, on top of planning to expand on Anagan and Flora’s relationship as rivals and Anagan “flirting” with her, it’d be weird for Helia to be like “eh”. Like even if Flora can hold her own I think he’d at least be a little concerned and annoyed at Anagan.

So yeah, Helia’s conflict is having a case of Impostor syndrome because Anagan’s a foil to him; confident, extroverted, confrontational, and actually bounces off of Flora really well. (Like, I don’t ship Anagan and Flora but the people who do I don’t blame them, it sounds more interesting) Even if Flora doesn’t reciprocate Anagan’s feelings, Helia feels inadequate and is anxious Flora will lose interest and might even break up with him since he’s the anti-social poet of the group. Timmy could even help after his confidence arc in Season 2. He’s not overprotective of Flora like wanting to fight Anagan since it kinda goes against his pacifism but the narrative doesn’t care about that as much as I do :/

And lastly I think it’s be neat if we saw a more fleshed out dynamic between the Wizards, the best I can think of is when they’re protected by Syllia and Duman almost slips their plan to which Anagan says he’s being whoosy, Orgon complains about being protected by fairies while Gantlos is fine with it.

A lot of the rewrite is focused on fleshing out the wizards because I want complex villains grr, and they’re perfect for it. The Earth Fairies? They’re good but they’re dead in my rewrite soooo-

I like to think Orgon is pretty manipulative of them. Was he always like this? No, but he’s desperate to secure the disappearance of magic from Earth, and his manipulation gets worse and worse as the episodes go on, in the end being threats and guilt-tripping. He still cares but mostly how the wizards can be of service to the Black Circle. And yes Duman is his favorite because he has the best powers. Shapeshifting will always be OP and the best power in my heart.

Anyway that’s all folks. If I make a part 3 it’ll probs cover some other stuff like Jason Queen, which I like his character, it’s perfect for Musa’s development (until they made Bloom the fucking main singer like WHYYY) or perhaps talk about Klaus or Morgana, Tecna and Timmy and more about Nabu. Anyway I’ll go watch some more nostalgic minecraft videos and webtoon rants. See ya!

#winx club #winx rewrite #rewrite #winx roxy #winx gantlos #winx helia #winx orgon #winx duman #wizards of the black circle #winx specialists #art #fanart #digital art #doodles #fanfiction

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lemotmo · 2 months ago

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So. Oh my god. That was an episode.

It was a really good episode though, good mix of character interactions and cases, interesting character relationships that we don't typically see on screen - Henren&Eddie, Athena&Karen, Buck&Tia Pepa, etc. And the character conflicts! Chimney's desire to support Athena, while Athena only sees him as a living reminder that her husband died? Buck and Eddie's fight?

Also, Hen turning down the position of Captain is interesting because it only leaves room for a new person or Chimney to take over the station. I'm honestly not surprised by this because they made a point of Athena stating that she didn't want the promotion because it meant paperwork and less saving lives, and that's what Captain is. You call the shots and supervise and other people do the work. We'll see, but I'm excited to see how this plays out - will Hen go back and decide she wants Captaincy or will it go to someone else?

Also. This episode was really heavy handed with the callbacks - they've been doing it all season, but there were 2 former calls back on screen (3x10 and 8x08), references to Full Moon AF, Stuck, Fear-O-Phobia, 5x02, the Eddie Bobby conversation and the wedding photo from 5x18. Like I feel like I've forgotten some because there just that many. Season 8 has been playing hard with the callbacks, which makes me wonder, what is it that they are doing with the finale? They were doing subtle callbacks at the start of the season - the guy dangling from the ladder, the well, but this? This is just an insane amount of callbacks in one episode. Which then makes me question: Which episodes is the finale reflecting? It's obviously reflecting the Earthquake with 8x17 closing on Athena, like in 2x01 plus the whole damaged building thing, and 5x16 with building is on fire because of infrastructure and Eddie working when he's technically not apart of the 118, you could also probably parallel it with 6x18 with everyone getting trapped. What's interesting though is that they're not injured, putting this more on par with 2x03 than 6x18.

A note on Finales: the show does two types of finales, (I'm ignoring the Pilot season here) they either do a big emergency that concludes half way through the episode and the rest of the episode is used to wrap things up, or a big emergency that persists almost all the way to the end. Seasons 5,6,7 are the first option, seasons 2,3,4 are the second. Judging by the looks of the emergency, it looks like it'll be closer to the 2-3-4 emergency finales, but who knows. Season 6 likely played out in a similar way where it was thought the bridge collapse was going to take the majority of the episode, but instead concluded half way into the episode. What the 2-3-4 (and 7) finales do have in common is that the big issue was introduced in the penultimate episode - the bomb threats being advertised on television, Abby calling in, Eddie getting shot, the house being on fire. 5 and 6 don't have this, their finales are stand alone.

This has gotten far too long, so I'm going to send in another ask with more character and plot line specific stuff. Have a great day!!!!

HI!!!

Oh that episode was so good! I agree!!!!

I still think Hen will end up calling the Chief and taking the position of Captain. I think she might end up playing a very important coordinating role in 8x18 and it might make her reconsider her decision to say no.

My theory is also that the disaster will only take up the first half of the episode (or maybe a bit more) and they'll end on more character driven scenes.

I'm very excited about this finale. I hope it'll deliver!

You have made some great points here! Food for thought!

You have a great day as well!

#honeysblooms #answered asks #911 8x18 speculation #911 8x18 #911 abc #911 spoilers

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ao3feed-piltovers-finest · 4 months ago

Text

QT Interval

by Champagne_out_of_plastic

Vi looked at her heart rate monitor and saw the numbers rapidly climbing. And it had everything to do with the fact that her nurse was quite possibly the most attractive woman she had ever seen. The beautiful woman put the stethoscope in her ears and Vi could feel her heart fluttering.

"Okay Vi, now if you could loosen your gown a little for me, I'm going to take a listen to your heart and lungs."

Oh god. This gorgeous woman was going to be touching her tits. She untied the top bow of her gown, pulling it away from her chest.

Caitlyn stood close enough that Vi could smell a subtle perfume, as she pressed the silver end of the stethoscope to her chest.

"Now I'm going to need you to take a deep breath in and out."

Vi suddenly forgot how to breathe.

----------- Vi accidentally overdoses on her meds because of her ADHD. She hates hospitals, but maybe it won't be so bad if the hot nurse keeps distracting her.

Words: 5122, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends), Jinx (League of Legends), Ekko (League of Legends), Jayce (League of Legends), Viktor (League of Legends), Mel Medarda, Sevika (Arcane: League of Legends), Loris (Arcane: League of Legends), Grayson (Arcane: League of Legends), Tobias Kiramman

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: Background Jinx/Ekko, Hospitals, Medical Trauma, Panic Attacks, Needle Phobia, Anxiety, likely PTSD, medical setting, prescription medication overdose, Overdose, accidental prescription medication overdose, it's not super violent but vi has flashbacks, Past Medical Abuse, PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, ADHD related self esteem issues, anxiety related self esteem issues, Vi has a needle phobia, Anxiety Attacks, Autistic Caitlyn (League of Legends), Adhd vi, patient!Vi, Nurse!Caitlyn, AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drug Use, technically, they're all prescribed drugs though, Medical Jargon, college student Ekko, College Student Jinx, Professor Viktor, Doctor Jayce, please excuse any inaccuracies in regards to medical stuff and how hospitals work I only worked at one for maybe an hour a day for three months, Medical Inaccuracies, Past Medical Trauma, vi and jinx both have past medical trauma, jinx became jinx because she dissociated so hard after a medical incident, meet cute, caitlyn is vi's nurse, Useless Lesbians, Slow Burn, because they cant date while vi's a patient there thats super unethical, but theyre both really attracted to each other, Vi Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Vi Needs Therapy (League of Legends), Vi Needs a Break (League of Legends), Hurt/Comfort, mentions of vi being in prison, corrupt cops doing corrupt cop things that result in vi having a felony, vi works at an animal shelter, and pictures of animals make her feel happy, cait knows exactly what to do to calm vi down, vi witnessed parts of her parents dying, thats partially where the medical trauma comes in, vander is alive but he's on a camping trip with milo and claggor and they dont have reception, so basically you won't see them but they'll be referenced, some fluff some angst, its a fancy expensive hospital so maybe thats why its not overcrowded idk, Seizures, vi has temporary heart issues

Read onA03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’

#caitvi #ao3feed-piltovers-finest #a03feed-piltovers-finest #caitviarcane (league of legends) fanfiction

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transfemme-shelterdog · 2 months ago

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what do i do if i might be gay for trans men but i don't want to be gay or come out? i can't even feel straight and morally superior by going "well technically-" like with trans women because it's disrespectful misgendering to associate them with womanhood to feel better about myself, and because it's inaccurate to the reality of my attraction to them. i... i like them *because* they're dudes :(. i *prefer* when they medically transition and/or are manly. i like trans men better than cis people for sure, male (thank god) or female (unfortunately). i honestly find all trans and gnc people to be quite alluring, but of course i gotta end up liking the dude ones the best :(. there's no way to de-homoify these thoughts and it's too late to stop now (i've tried) because it's been like this since before i even knew about being gay or trans people. (i have uh. quite the imagination. i also wanted a nonbinary kid which. how did i come up with that independently? i guess it really is something humans discover over and over, not something we recently invented for the first time.) i've done a lot of work to get people to stop calling me gay and a sissy and a radical left lunatic as much, i don't want to give that up just because i want a bromance where i can suck a guy's tdick like a pacifier and to have normal shirtless bro time together until the day i can trace his top surgery scars with my fingers in the sunlight and so on. i'm worried that they'll use the dynamic to call us both girls and gay and lesbians and incorrectly straight and etc. all at once, i'd be very upset by that. the few times i've seen gay trans men, that's always what's said about them, their boyfriends (cis or trans), and their relationships (and they say more things too). i didn't know porn videos could be thumbs downed and hate commented on by so many people until i looked up trans guys, either (Very different from when it's about cishet sexual relations, i must say). not that it matters, because i wouldn't know how to find a trans guy who likes me OR how to maintain a secret gay relationship while i'm still a young man that i don't tell my future lately-acquired wife about ever anyways... oh the horrors of this predicament... at least now i know there's someone else out there that sees them the same way i do (really cool and hot, manly, everything about them is attractive, genuinely good men that are worth having in your life, a real option you're allow to actively desire). should i give up or do you think i should try it one day? should i wait and see if i can stop being afraid of homosexuality first? (i'm the opposite of when people say "i'm not homo/transphobic because i'm not afraid of them!" i strongly believe in lgbt rights, but it's definitely a phobia for me. i'm very scared of the idea that i'll never be able to escape from being [seen as] queer, especially if it's because i couldn't resist a man [which threatens my manhood].) also, is it transphobic of me to have such a strong preference for trans men, but dislike cis men the most? or am i cool because i see their manhood as more valid and certain and earned than a typical cis man's? or is that worse? idk i just have more respect for the guys that think for themselves and are making proactive efforts against the world's judgements to do what they want and need (erm what the sigma? alpha male moment), and they just so happen to be my version of the ideal male body. and i like their penises for their dick qualities (because that's what they are: dicks.) (i'm sorry this is long and intense, but you're the liking trans guys expert so...)

Ok wow, lot of text there. I'll do my best to answer everything you asked:

what do i do if i might be gay for trans men but i don't want to be gay or come out?

I mean, you don't have to adopt the label of gay. There's androsexual, and achillean. Maybe these fit you better? Take a look. There could be more labels, but I'm not super well versed in MLM sexualities, so I'll let someone else deal with that.

Also, you coming out as whatever sexuality you want is your call. You don't need to ever if you don't want to.

i'm worried that they'll use the dynamic to call us both girls and gay and lesbians and incorrectly straight and etc. all at once, i'd be very upset by that. the few times i've seen gay trans men, that's always what's said about them, their boyfriends (cis or trans), and their relationships (and they say more things too).

Yeah, people can be assholes. But those that would call you that would find any other reason to be cruel. You're (I assume) a trans guy, you're into trans guys, that's not lesbian by any means (unless you both identify as transmasc lesbians). Ignore the haters, they don't mean shit.

i wouldn't know how to find a trans guy who likes me OR how to maintain a secret gay relationship while i'm still a young man that i don't tell my future lately-acquired wife about ever anyways

Ok... so you're a trans man, married to a woman, and want to also be intimate with trans men on the side? Word of advice, don't keep it a secret. That's not going to end well. I'd advise you that if you really want to hook up with a trans man, tell your wife. Talk to her about it. Maybe she's ok with it, and that way you can get permission to sleep around. If she's not, then you should have a talk about the future of the relationship. It won't last if you're fucking men (or anyone) in secret on the side. She will find out.

should i give up or do you think i should try it one day? should i wait and see if i can stop being afraid of homosexuality first? (i'm the opposite of when people say "i'm not homo/transphobic because i'm not afraid of them!" i strongly believe in lgbt rights, but it's definitely a phobia for me. i'm very scared of the idea that i'll never be able to escape from being [seen as] queer, especially if it's because i couldn't resist a man [which threatens my manhood].)

If you wanna try it, go for it. Just talk to your wife and get permission first. Don't be a cheater. Also, fucking a guy, as a guy, has no bearing on your manhood. Do you think cis gay dudes are being turned into women when they fuck a guy from Grindr? Who you sleep with doesn't change your gender, or the validity of it.

also, is it transphobic of me to have such a strong preference for trans men, but dislike cis men the most? or am i cool because i see their manhood as more valid and certain and earned than a typical cis man's? or is that worse?

I don't think so. Being t4t is a thing, and it's totally valid for a number of reasons. If you're a trans dude and only wanna bang trans dudes, that's your call and it's totally valid. I myself find trans men more attractive than cis men, and I'm one of the least transphobic people around. You're totally cool to have that stance.

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emiplayzmc · 10 months ago

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Aaaaand... finally a ref sheet for Gabriel Lecter, my Deltarune Human OC! HE LOOKS SO SWEET IN THE LIGHT WORLD FORM ACK

Also thank you to @turntableart for helping with the skin + hair colour of Gabe'a Dark World design because I was STRUGGLING with it hjgfss- ty Turnip 🙏)

The Lecter Lore:

-37 years old, standing at 5'8, he/him

-3rd year medical student in Hometown, automatonophobic*

*Fear of robots - technically automatonophobia refers to HUMAN-LIKE robots and figures, but that was the closest fear I could find that encompassed SPECIFICALLY the appearance of robots rather than just 'the advancement of AI and technology in general' or 'the fear of robots taking human jobs' - technophobia and robophobia, respectively. If I'm able to find a more accurate phobia to just 'the appearance of robots in general' that's being changed.

♤~~♡~~♤

Gabriel fell into the Dark World in the Librarby computer room while he was studying for an exam and needed to do online research. When he arrived in the Dark World, his appearance enhanced and cyber-fied the looks of his college uniform and bag - as well as some of the colouring and traits of Ambyu-Lances, mainly the giant needle and the red-blue colouring.

Unfortunately for Gabriel, he had ended up in a world full of robotic creatures - his first encounter was with a Werewire in the Cyber Fields, launching him into a battle where he sees and feels his literal SOUL leaving his body to fight - a purple heart. Terrified of his new surroundings and unsure of whether he's having an incredibly elaborate nightmare or not, he fled the battle and subsequent ones with other Werewires, a few ViroViroKuns, and ESPECIALLY from Sweet Cap'n Cakes.

Meanwhile, the medical Ambyu-Lance named Ware is ALSO in the Cyber Fields, having chased after a ViroViroKun that he was supposed to watch for a law enforcement Ambyu while they called in backup. Searching for the Viro, he comes across Gabriel cowering on the other side of a puzzle. Being the impulsive Ambyu-Lance that he is, Ware got ECSTATIC to meet a Lightner, and also immediately launched into a battle with him. Unable to escape the puzzle area since Ware is blocking the entrance (unknowingly), he tries (and mostly fails) to dodge Ware's attacks.

Gabriel eventually gets to very low HP, hit with cuts and scrapes and electrical burns, and Ware finally notices that the former isn't attempting to fight back and seems to be trying his hardest to get away. Ware ends the battle and approaches Gabriel carefully, wanting to heal him and understand why he wasn't fighting back. After a while, Gabriel VERY reluctantly relents to letting Ware heal him, and Ware figures out that Gabriel has absolutely NO idea what's going on, meanwhile the human is panicking and hyperventilating and seemingly trying to pretend that he's in a very intense nightmare. After some deliberation, the Ambyu-Lance hesitantly offers to bring Gabriel to the main city so that he can meet with QUEEN and attempt to leave the Cyber World, to which Lecter (equally as hesitantly) agrees.

Skip to a while later, Gabriel Lecter figures out that he can't go home. A Lightner can only leave the Dark World if their current Dark Fountain is closed, or if they're near a Grand Fountain (aka, Castletown's fountain). Since Gabriel doesn't have the power or KNOWLEDGE to close a Fountain, nor do any of the Cyber World residents know where exactly a Grand Fountain IS... he's stuck in the Cyber World.

Ware, feeling like he's now RESPONSIBLE for the Lightner's safety, offers to let Lecter stay in his apartment and allow him to work at the Cyber City hospital, while also offering to teach him about the residents of the Cyber World and how to fight / live there. Over time, Gabriel becomes somewhat of a nurse to the hospital, and grows more comfortable around Ambyu-Lances and learning to be around other Darkners (Addisons and Werewerewires, especially, terrify him and take him the longest to get used to - the humanoid appearance of Addisons and the sheer size and strength of Werewerewires doesn't do favours for his phobia).

♤~~♡~~♤

Gabriel is a Perserverance SOUL, since even despite him being thrust into a terrifying world, he ends up trying to push through and make the best of his worst situation. His casual clothing tends to lean more towards light academia and comfortable clothing, although he certainly hasn't been opposed to walking around his house in scrubs all day - he doesn't really care about the texture of clothes as long as it's stuff that he regularly wears (in other words... he can sleep in jeans.).

He's almost always seen wearing an Alzheimer's Awareness pin on his clothes and with his messenger bag. In the Cyber World, the pin translates to two ribbons on either side of his coat, a golden button on the bag strap turns into a small gem on his breastpocket (as well as three smaller blue ones turning into gems that dot the perimeter of the bottom of his coat, and his bag and syringe pin turn into a strap for his main weapon - a syringe that can shoot out streams of liquid-based attacks and defense.

He's more of a reserved person, but he was a well-liked student in his class in the Light World with two or three close friends, and he got good grades. In the Cyber World, at first he's quite terrified of going around the city by himself, or even going out at all besides the hospital and Ware's townhouse. Eventually, he learns to somewhat step out of his comfort zone, and at first goes out with Ware, then slowly going on to do his own thing in the city as long as it's on a set route (such as to and from the hospital, shops, or the park).

He's also got a little bit of voice blindness (phonagnosia), which makes it hard for him to discern between voices - that's not made easier by the fact that Ambyu-Lances all have very similar voices: think of the Turrets from the Portal games, and that's very close to what I imagine for their voices (Ware, specifically, with a malfunctioned Turret voice). Gabriel noticed that a lot of Ambyu-Lances had distinguishing decals and stickers over their bodies, but he still ended up losing Ware in a crowd of them, especially if Ware took off his little moon decoration. So, Gabriel decided to put a large, glittery golden star on Ware's syringe-head (with the latter's permission, of course) so that he could identify his ally / friend easier.

♤~~♡~~♤

Aaaand there's the Gabriel Lecter lore!! I actually love him now lol.

#art #deltarune #digital art #drawing #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital artwork #fanart #deltarune fanart #deltarune fan character #deltarune human oc #fallen lightner: gabriel lecter #oc artwork #oc drawing

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