#because she only ever saw him as a trophy to be won from leo

[fullsaw]

Has anyone considered that Jenna Begay might be gay

[tmnt-tychou]

Figure Out Your Own Shit

This scene wouldn’t leave my brain. And I have a huge writing boner for characters who care about each other having difficult conversations. Some brief notes on Ramona’s backstory for context. Set in the ROTTMNT universe.

@thelaundrybitch

****************

And there on his lab table, among all the half-finished projects and machine parts, she saw a familiar cover.

“You have my memoir.”

“Read it, too,” Donatello said as he finished soldering a wire into place. He then removed his goggles and swiveled his chair in her direction. “We all have.”

“I figured as much. Mikey and Raph have already unloaded on me everything they've had issue with. Anything you want to get out in the open?”

He regarded her thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair. “It's a very honest book,” he accused.

“It is. That's why it made so many people angry. It made your brothers a little angry, too. We each had a long talk about it.”

She waited for him to gather his thoughts. It was clear he wanted to say something. Usually, Donatello had no trouble putting his thoughts into words. This time, he struggled.

“I didn't know,” he finally said. “All the things you were dealing with at the time. You could have told us.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I didn't want to bring all the garbage down to the lair. You guys were my oasis. My safe haven from creepy producers and controlling, obsessive mothers. From people yelling weird slurs at me on the streets for being a mutant. I needed one place where none of that existed.”

“You should have told us. We would have supported you.” He paused and added. “I would have supported you.”

She raised a brow at him. “Would you have? Because before I left, all you ever did was fight with Leo. Both of you were so insufferable, so obsessed with getting the best of each other. It was miserable to be around the both of you at once. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't even a person to the two of you anymore; I was just some trophy you were trying to win.”

For a microsecond, she saw the hurt in his face before he schooled it. Maybe she was trying to get to that hurt. Trying to goad him into telling her what was really on his mind.

“I know,” Donatello said, his voice a little flat. “I read that in your book, too. You called me obsessive. You said I made you uncomfortable multiple times.”

“You were and you did.”

His voice raised in volume as his irritation finally won out. “Then your responsibility was to tell me. Not publish it years later to be read by hundreds of thousands of people!”

“I did tell you. If you would recall with that perfect memory of yours, I told both of you to knock it off several times. But the two of you are so competitive. It got to the point where it wasn't even about having me, it was about getting a one up on each other. How was all that fighting even worth it? I'm not even that great of a prize.”

Any retort Donatello had planned flew out the window at that last statement. He stared at her as if the thing she said didn't even compute to him. But he quickly recovered.

“I guess I remember things differently. I thought we had something together. I thought you and I were dating. And then Leo came in and screwed it all up. You let him screw it up. I was trying to be there for you. I was trying to be a good boyfriend.”

“I didn't need a boyfriend, Donatello,” she shot back with emotion. “I needed you to be my friend! My world was falling apart and you two were always bickering! There wasn't room for anything else but your petty fights and all your stupid nonsense!”

“Falling in love with you wasn't nonsense. It wasn't to me.”

Her breath caught, her heart skipped. Regret then filled her. “I'm sorry. That was wrong of me to say. I never meant to suggest that your feelings don't matter.”

Donatello clenched a fist in irritation and pressed it to his mouth. “I'm trying really hard not to be mad at you.”

“I can see that. You're doing very well.”

“Don't flatter me.”

She let out a long breath. “Donnie, we were all dumb kids back then. Only sixteen and having no idea how to be good at relationships. How to be good partners. I most definitely wasn't ready for anything like that. I have a feeling it was the same for you.”

Donatello sat in silence. Silence usually meant he agreed. If he disagreed, he let you know about it instantly.

“And what about now?” he then asked, surprising her.

Now it was her turn to gather her words. “I care about you,” she said sincerely. “And I care about Leo. And my answer now is the same as it was then: I will not ever put myself between you two. You're brothers. You are two sides of the same coin. You need each other; more than either of you will ever need me.”

“Ramona...”

“You know, when I left New York I thought things would be different if I ever saw you again. I don't know how they would be different, but they should have been different somehow. Instead, it's like you two just hibernated down here the entire time.

“Six years, Donatello. It's been six years. Your brothers have traveled the country, walked in the sun, met all sorts of people. If you weren't going to leave the city, I thought you'd at least try to meet people here. Date a little. A cute yokai, maybe? Even someone human. So then by the time I came back we wouldn't be right back to square one again.”

“Wait,” Donatello said. “You purposefully left for so long so I would give up on you and find someone else?”

That question made her angry. Probably because he was right.

Instead of admitting as such, she said, “You know what, Don? Figure out your own shit. When you've done that, you can come back and ask me where you and I stand.”

With that, she turned and walked out of the lab. “The same for you too, Leo,” she said as she passed the other turtle who had been lurking by the entrance way.

“What? How did you know I was there?” Leonardo demanded.

Mona did not give him an answer as she left.

“She didn't really know,” Leonardo insisted as he sauntered into the lab. “It was just a good guess. I'm very sneaky.”

He found his brother slumped in his chair, rubbing his temples as if he had a headache coming on.

“What do you want, 'Nardo?” Donatello asked tiredly.

Leonardo had his usual Cheshire grin in place, looking like he was about to say something snarky and obnoxious. But he changed his mind and sobered.

“I ruined everything? Is that what you believe?”

Donatello looked up, clearly annoyed. “That's not just my opinion, that's what you did. We were just fine until you had to say something.”

“What was I supposed to do, Don? Not tell her how I felt?”

“Yes, Leonardo!” he suddenly burst out as he stood. “That was what you were supposed to do! Be a good brother for once and keep your mouth shut! Why wouldn't you let her go? You could have had anybody!”

Leonardo blinked at him, surprised at the outburst, but Donatello wasn't finished.

“People like you, Leo. People gravitate toward you. You make friends easily. They like being around you. People don't like me. People don't get me. The only ones outside our brotherhood who ever tried to understand me were April and her. And you wanted to take that away.”

“I didn't want to take anything from you, Donnie. I just...” He paused. Sighed. Maybe that was a lie. Maybe he had been a horrible brother back then. “Do you hate me?”

Donatello deflated before his eyes and plopped back into his chair. “No, I don't hate you. Maybe I did once. Not anymore. Not after Raph left, then Mikey. All I had was you.” And when it was just the two of them down in the sewer for those few years, something changed. They had learned how to orbit each other without Raphael's mothering, without Michelangelo's peace-keeping. It had been a trial by fire at first, stuck with each other, but they had come out the other side different than when they went in. Mona was wrong. They had changed.

Leonardo put his hands on his hips thoughtfully. “Then I guess there's only one thing we can do now. We've got to figure out our shit.”

Donatello groaned and put his head in his hands. “I don't want to.”

Leonardo  laughed.

[jccham]

❝  my  friend’s  cousin’s  best  friend  used  to  work  as  one  of  his  maids  and  she  said  that  his  step-mom  used  to  pay  him  to  keep  her  affair  with  his  uncle  a ��secret  ❞  JORDAN  CHAMBERS  ,  who  resembles  KEITH  POWERS  and  is  the  PRESIDENT  of  BETA  TAU  RHO  ,  is  TWENTY-TWO  years  old  and  responds  to  HE  /  HIM  .  𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥  𝘣𝘺  𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦  ;  𝘴𝘩𝘦  /  𝘩𝘦𝘳  .

what  up,  i’m  julie,  hailing  from  the  gmt-5  tz  &  i’ve  been  out  all  day  ,  so  i’ve  been  unfortunately  been  a  little  late  to  the  party  buuuut  i  am  here  now  &  i  am  so  excited  to  share  jordan  with  you  all  !  

BASICS  :   full  name  —  jordan  dominic  chambers  .  preferred  —  jordan  .  nickname  —  jd  .  titles  —  captain  and  power  forward  of  the  mens’  kingshill  basketball  team  &&  .  president  of  beta  tau  rho  .  dob  —  august  first  nineteen  ninety  eight  .  astrological  sign  —  leo  .  hometown  —  new  york  city  ,  new  york  .  current  residence  —  kingshill  ,  new  york  .   MAIN  BACKGROUND  :

the  nineties’  basketball  scene  was  dominated  by  the  six  time  nba  champion  chicago  bulls  and  one  of  the  greatest  men  to  ever  play  the  game,  jay  chambers,  led  the  charge.  jordan’s  father  couldn’t  go  anywhere  in  the  country  without  being  flocked  by  fans,  in  awe  of  the  six  nine  legend  in  the  making  .

unfortunately,  this  came  to  a  halting  stop  when  jay  suffered  a  career  ending  neck  injury  that  would  forever  change  his  life  .  coupled  with  an  unwanted  pregnancy  with  darling  socialite  carolina  blair  ,  within  a  year  ,  jay  went  from  basketball  hotshot  to  stiff  businessman  and  father  .  a  shotgun  wedding  meant  financial  stability  in  working  with  the  blairs’  insurance  company,  which  jay  needed  with  no  job  and  years  of  wasting  millions  on  partying  and  luxuries  with  an  expiry  date  .

neither  parent  really  wanted  jordan  and  it  showed  through  the  revolving  cycle  of  nannies  filling  their  roles  .  even  with  hours  on  hand  to  think  about  it  ,  jordan  would  not  be  able  to  share  one  heartfelt  anecdote  from  his  childhood  involving  either  of  them  .

new  york  city  will  always  be  jordan’s  home  ,  his  birth  place  ,  even  through  his  years  of  european  boarding  schools  and  californian  summer  camps  .

basketball  came  naturally  to  jordan  (  no  surprise  )  and  it  was  one  summer  after  returning  from  boarding  school  ,  where  he  had  learned  the  sport  ,  when  he  learned  who  his  father  was  .  he’d  been  bothering  his  father  all  day  to  come  out  of  his  office  to  show  off  his  new  skills  ,  when  he’d  been  barked  at  for  picking  up  a  basketball  at  all  .  

at  first  ,  the  last  thing  jordan  wanted  was  to  upset  anybody  ,  so  he  stayed  away  from  the  sport  at  first  .  however  ,  as  the  years  went  on  ,  his  resentment  towards  his  parents  and  especially  his  father  grew  ,  and  so  ,  continued  playing  basketball  out  of  spite  .  he  was  damn  good  at  it  .

his  mother  paid  for  his  basketball  camps  and  programs  ,  since  she  was  always  so  willing  to  throw  money  at  jordan  to  make  him  go  away  .  he  will  claim  to  this  day  that  he  found  himself  through  the  sport  ,  as  it  taught  him  the  abundant  rewards  of  diligence  and  how  to  be  a  leader.  basketball  made  a  man  out  of  him  ,  something  his  family  never  did  .  

she  left  jordan’s  father  when  he  was  fourteen  and  that  point  ,  he  didn’t  have  any  shits  left  to  give  .  they  barely  had  a  relationship  ,  which  was  honestly  better  than  the  hostility  that  jordan’s  father  showed  him  ,  but  it  wasn’t  enough  for  any  tears  to  be  shed  when  she  declared  she  didn’t  want  custody  .  meanwhile  ,  his  father  accumulated  enough  status  and  wealth  to  branch  off  from  his  ex  wife’s  company  and  form  his  own  .

this  meant  nothing  to  jordan  ,  though  ,  because  as  long  as  he  kept  getting  his  allowance  and  freedom  ,  there  wasn’t  a  change  to  begin  with  .  he  was  used  to  getting  paid  by  his  parents  for  the  little  things  ,  like  a  new  car  when  he  didn’t  bother  his  mother  for  an  entire  month  or  when  his  father  sent  him  on  a  “vacation”  to  the  maldives  with  his  friends  for  christmas  break  .  even  his  new  step  mom  gifted  him  exclusive  sneakers  when  he  put  in  a  good  word  for  her  to  some  tabloid  that  followed  jay  chambers’  new  marriage  .  however  ,  he  drew  the  line  when  his  parents  asked  him  to  attend  kingshill  .  

jordan  dreamed  of  making  it  as  a  professional  basketball  player  .  not  only  that  ,  but  he  was  en  route  to  it  ,  having  scouts  watch  him  since  the  beginning  of  high  school  .  he’d  played  at  the  national  level  and  won  gold  on  endless  occasions  ,  in  addition  to  mvp  trophies  and  other  accolades.  by  senior  year  ,  all  of  the  top  d1  schools  and  agents  came  knocking  on  his  door  .  

despite  his  parents’  divorce  ,  their  two  companies  continued  to  work  closely  together  and  saw  jordan  as  their  sole  heir  .  therefore  ,  they  needed  him  to  be  groomed  by  the  best  school  that  money  could  offer  and  they  saw  kingshill  as  the  perfect  and  only  match  .  

everyone  wonders  why  jordan  has  turned  his  back  on  the  draft  for  three  years  running  .  he  clearly  loves  the  game  of  basketball  and  is  one  of  the  most  hard  working  people  you’d  ever  meet  ,  a  born  star  on  the  court  .  instead  ,  he’s  a  senior  in  his  business  administration  major  and  despite  the  charming  smile  and  affinity  for  partying  ,  is  miserable  .

jordan  chambers  is  a  little  more  than  intimidating  ,  due  to  his  naturally  abrasive  attitude  ,  his  six  seven  stature  and  rumours  that  have  floated  around  his  name  since  freshman  year.  after  all  ,  it’s  safe  to  say  that  he’s  gone  a  little  bit  more  than  wild  since  first  stepping  foot  onto  campus  .  whether  it’s  lashing  out  at  his  parents  or  his  own  development  of  a  coping  mechanism  ,  beta  tau  rho’s  incredible  partying  legacy  has  lived  on  because  of  jordan  .  work  hard  ,  play  hard  ,  and  you’ve  officially  become  a  beta  tau  rho  brother.

PERSONALITY  :  

all  in  all  ,  jordan  is  a  little  bit  too  much  .  his  ego  is  a  little  too  big  ,  cares  more  than  he  should  ,  his  bad  habits  are  a  little  too  intense  ,  and  he  works  harder  than  anyone  else  .  

as  mentioned  before  ,  he  tends  to  be  intimidating  upon  first  impression  and  usually  rubs  people  the  wrong  way  .  he’s  learned  to  become  stoic  and  cold  over  the  years  when  dealing  with  other  people  of  the  same  wealth  ,  afraid  to  be  used  or  manipulated  by  showing  anything  that  could  be  used  against  him  .  

while  jordan  is  a  man  of  few  words,  he  is  quippy  and  sharp  when  he  does  speak  .  his  charm  is  subtle  and  dry  ,  a  blink-and-you’ll-miss  that  part  of  him  type  thing  .  

unsurprisingly  ,  jordan  keeps  a  small  circle  .  he  loves  beta  tau  rho  because  they  all  understand  the  value  of  hard  work  and  constantly  improving  yourself  ,  which  is  why  he  genuinely  cares  deeply  for  his  fraternity  brothers  and  would  probably  do  anything  for  them  ,  even  if  he  doesn’t  seem  like  the  type  .  he  will  always  help  his  friends  ,  no  questions  asked  ,  and  would  do  anything  in  his  power  to  do  so  .  since  he  has  been  mostly  independent  for  as  long  as  he  can  remember  ,  jordan  cherishes  moments  when  he  can  spend  time  with  people  that  he  cares  about  .

though  not  particularly  passionate  about  school  ,  jordan  is  ambitious  .  he  strives  for  greatness  in  everything  he  does  ,  no  matter  how  small  .  he  will  stop  at  nothing  to  achieve  his  goals  ,  sometimes  even  unknowingly  jeopardizing  his  relationships  in  the  process.  

obviously  ,  he  loves  partying  .  jordan  always  cared  about  his  body  and  health  because  of  basketball  ,  but  since  coming  to  kingshill  and  having  his  vision  of  making  it  in  the  nba  tarnished  ,  he’s  loosened  his  old  ‘  no  binge  drinking  ,  no  drugs  rule  ’  up  a  bit  .  he  may  or  may  not  blackout  every  weekend  .  he  may  or  may  not  smoke  a  little  too  much  weed  .  some  things  simply  cannot  be  helped  . 

WANTED  CONNECTIONS  :

i  have  this  page  up  ,  but  i'm  always  down  to  brainstorm  !  especially  since  my  wc  page  is  hella  under  construction  whoops  but  yes  throw  your  ideas  at  me  omg  like  this  post  and  i'll  come  to  u!  

[nanyoky]

(oc questions - all - for the Mercys?)

You got it toots!

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Maxine Elizabeth and Leopold. Old family names.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

For the residents of the house, The Mercys is very much a title that’s used more often than either of their given names. Even in school their classmates probably referred to them together a lot of the time.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

Not many good childhood memories outside of each other and Charlie. Both have mixed and complicated feelings about parents. ((spoilers!!! no one cares nell this isn’t a real movie)) Leo doesn’t remember much of his biological dad except things were Not Good. Max remembers her mother, but mostly remembers her being sick and being scared at hospitals and such. Their best memories are the two of them with Charlie. They could sometimes be alone with her for days at a time and it was the most peaceful time they ever had.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

Not Good ™. On all counts. The exact details of the family backgrounds would ultimately depend partially on casting, but the ones I’ve toyed with most have been: Dirk is the old fashioned sort to expect his wife to care for children and for him to pat them on the head occasionally and pay for their upkeep. That never worked out so well, since Max’s mother got sick when Max was very young, then after she was gone, he was alone, then Marlene and Max did NOT get along from day one. So his and Max’s relationship was always distant and begrudging and strained. Then Marlene I’ve sort of pictured as an immigrant from somewhere- coming to the US with her first husband, then leaving him and marrying Dirk. She saw this as a lateral move at the time, but had a rude awakening upon finding that everyone in her new country sees her as an “exotic” trophy wife (she bleaches her hair but still has a strong “foreign sounding” accent). With her first husband, she was distant due to a toxic relationship and Leo didn’t receive a lot of attention. Then Marlene starting taking barbiturates and nothing ever improved. Sometimes, she would occasionally try to strike up a closer relationship with Leo, but her efforts never lasted long so he learned not to get his hopes up.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Their relationship with Charlie is an odd mix of siblings and parents/child. The age gap wasn’t enough for them truly to act as parents, but the older they got, the more they felt responsible for her. Charlie always idolized and trusted them unlike anyone else and they had an enormous sense of responsibility to live up to this. So, naturally, they have always viewed her death as their own failure more than Dirk or Marlene’s.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Both of them were not exactly anti-social during school, but had only small circles of friends that shifted and changed gradually as they aged. They had kind of a reputation for being “stuck up” because everyone knew they had money, but they didn’t know much else about them. Were actually pretty normal, if a little reserved from a lot of social neglect early in life. They dropped out after Charlie died and Dirk and Marlene left and never finished high school. Both were average students. Max was that kid who had a different book with them every day. Leo didn’t pay enough attention to be a good student, but he was always a good writer and pretty logical, so he got by.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

They always had a few friends, but none were lasting. After Charlie’s death, they deliberately cut ties with everyone they knew and moved around for a few years before returning to Duluth. None of their school friends would likely recognize them now.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

The Mercys have always had a cat or two. They’ve had Katherine for a couple of years now. It’s good for them to have something outside themselves to care about and look after.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

Both of the Mercys are pretty good with animals as they are usually pretty calm and affectionate with them.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

They are both very good with children, though they have actively avoided them since Charlie’s death. Their thoughts on the possibility of parenthood are…. complicated. When they were younger, the idea was terrifying- because of what it would mean for them. Teen pregnancy freaks a lot of people out, but they were next level paranoid. Then, after Charlie, they couldn’t bear to think about it for a long time. Gradually though, they both started to consider the idea. Part of them wants to, in a way, recreate the “family” they had with Charlie, but the idea would mean considering a child to be her replacement. Which they fully realize is fucked up. So… they sort of want a kid, but don’t want to open that emotional can of worms without some delayed grieving they really don’t have the energy for.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

They have both cut out red meat since their teens.

12. What is their favourite food? 

Max loves wild rice soup and it’s the only thing she knows how to make from scratch. Leo loves going to late night diners for waffles.

13. What is their least favourite food?

The smell of ham makes Leo gag and Max hates potato salad

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

They remember everything they ate the day Charlie disappeared. Max had the last of the cheerios for breakfast, so Leo had to make oatmeal. They had school lunch of chicken and gravy. Then they got takeout for dinner on the way home- eggrolls and lo mein from Taste of Saigon in Canal Park. They got an odd number of eggrolls and rock paper scissor-ed for the last one. Max won, but they ended up splitting it.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Nope. Thus plot and Autumn. They tried to cook between the hired chefs, but meals were absolutely heinous in those times because Anabelle used their bad cooking as just another excuse to criticize them. Mina tried as well but didn’t have any better results.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

Since they were became homeless as teens, Leo’s become sort of a packrat. He’s that guy that saves everything “just in case” he might need it or make it into something useful later. Max has to regularly go through all their stuff and throw out the real garbage he saves.

Max has an extensive collection of boots- since shoes are the one article of clothing they really can’t share. She also has like- twenty different silk and satin fancy slips and negligees but if you tell anyone you’re dead.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

No on all counts. Aside from drivers licences (expired now), no pictures probably exist of them past age 14.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Max is an epic adventure reader. LOTR, Dumas, you name it. Leo likes more modern lit. Realistic fantasy/scifi- David Mitchell and the like. Max loves classic films- cinema icons from 60s or earlier (their cat Katherine is for Katherine Hepburn). Leo is a total weirdo who is obsessed with live action/animation mashups. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is his alltime fave. They don’t watch a ton of tv, but when they do, it’s something weird like Pushing Daisies or something tame like National Geographic.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

They really can’t handle any of Charlie’s favorite movies anymore.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Not much for musicals. They listen to music in the yardhouse or while they’re working out in the stables or garage. Both very much into the classics as far as rock and some old country (cash and williams and the like) but Leo also likes indie alternative rock.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Max has a quicker temper- or rather, gets angry more easily. Any little comment from Anabelle sets her seething and in a bad mood for hours. It takes a lot more to set Leo off, but he goes from 0 to FIGHT ME in no time at all. ((See: Mr. Thackary mentioning his mom))

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Definitely “if i insult you to your face, it means we’re friends, but i can’t say it if I mean it because then it’s awkward” people. Will call each other and Autumn names all the time. Pretty generic and mild for the most part. “Dumbass” and “Bastard” and the like. Mina is a weird one because they know that’s not how she operates so they don’t want to upset her, but also she can tell they joke around with Autumn that way, so she feels a little left out. They try more gentle ribbing just to make her feel better.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Max has a terrible memory and Leo has a good one. Drives Max crazy if they ever have an argument about something that happened more than a few days ago.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Both of them are huge babies about having a soft mattress and lots of pillows. Even in their own bed, they both have trouble sleeping sometimes. Sadly enough, it’s the good dreams that keep them awake- dreams they have Charlie back and everything is fine again. 

Leo sleeps on his back and if he’s alone- STARFISH. But when Max is there more floppy easy cuddles. Max, on the other hand, is nothing but knees and elbows in her sleep and it is a Problem.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Both the Mercys have a pretty dark sense of humor at times. Leo can be markedly darker, but also sillier in his humor, whereas max is more dry.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

Both usually get more comfortable and friendly with others when they’re in a good mood. If it’s just the two of them, they’re just stupid affectionate and playful. Lots of snuggles and movies and snacks and giggling like kids.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

They are sad most of the time. Max only cries when she wakes up from a dream about Charlie- Leo hasn’t cried since Charlie’s death. Max would probably fight anyone who saw her cry.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing one another is definitely their biggest fear now. Max tends to sort of freeze up when afraid, while Leo usually takes action in the moment, then freezes up when he pauses to think to hard about his fears.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

It depends on who that person is. But they have very strong protective tendencies, so they would have to REALLY hate someone to mock or use someone else’s fear.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

They stay pretty active for work, but they would never “work out” for the sake of it. They’re both pretty strong, but don’t do much in the way of cardio.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Ahhh yup. The drunk scene with Autumn is a regular occurrence if they can’t sleep or want to celebrate something. Max is more cheerful when drunk and definitely very snuggly. Huge affectionate drunk. Fun Fact: Leo getting overheated and taking off his jeans in that scene is 100% based on one of my roommates at university. When she drank, she would always complain about how hot it was and strip down to her underwear. Sometimes her head would get stuck in her shirt. So that’s drunk Leo. Max being an affectionate drunk and Leo taking his clothes off drunk means there is a lot of giggly clumsy drunk sex in the yardhouse and it is very stupidcute. They’re both pretty standard hung over- grumpy and slow. When Autumn or Mina drink without them, they go full on mom friend.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

The Mercys share the same wardrobe (aside from undies and shoes). They have picked up a collection of layers from thriftshops and such throughout the years. Max’s checkplaid coat is a prized possession. It’s the warmest thing they’ve got. When they left the house the first time, max bleached her hair a goldy-honey blond and kept dying it. But since Mina hired them, it’s been growing out ever since. She wears hats most of the time anyway, so the dark roots are barely visible, even tho it’s gotten past her earlobes. Leo has been thinking about cutting his hair again, but Max is trying to talk him out of it because she not so secretly likes it long. No makeup in years. Max misses it sometimes.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

From Autumn’s trips to the yardhouse we know this: Leo is a boxers and undershirts kinda guy, and Max is all about the lace and silk and satin. That makes it sound like this story is much sexier than it is.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Fairly fit from all the physical work, but in an average sort of way. They are about the same height-pretty average. They both have moments of vanity in between not really thinking about their own body much at all.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Max and her silky intimates. Leo sometimes watches the same movie over and over again just because he doesn’t want to get up to change it. THeir relationship with one another is…  complicated. They both feel guilty and decidedly unguilty about it.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

They both have gotten pretty good at auto repair throughout the years. Max is stupid good at climbing. Trees, rocks, buildings. She sits out on the roof of the yardhouse when she’s annoyed with Leo and it is very frustrating. She’s also an amazing speed reader with high retention. If they ever need to look up how to do something, Max will read an article or book- paraphrasing outloud to instruct Leo as he tries it. Secret time: way back when he was very little, Marlene made Leo take dance and piano lessons. He hated it and found ways to skip out on the lessons pretty early on, but he still retained quite a bit. Now he just likes dicking around with weird little diy projects- fixing things and improving things around the yardhouse- making new candles out of the drippings and blunt ends of old ones.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Max reads constantly- and fast. She’ll read anything, but has a soft spot for epic adventures. Tolkein, Dumas, that kind of thing. Leo likes to read, but he’s slower and prefers quick, fun genre pieces.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

I think they admire people who have found their place and are comfortable in their lives. They realize what a rare thing that is and are struggling so much to find some sort of homeostasis, they really appreciate those who are self aware and self assured at the same time.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Definitely phonecall or text people. If communication other than face-to-face is necessary at all.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Coffee drinkers. But there’s a case of redbull in the yardhouse basement for emergency situations.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Max is definitely bisexual because she and Autumn will not stop with the ust no matter what I do. These bisexuals. I can’t take them anywhere. I assume Leo is straight, but he doesn’t interact with any men other than the accountant, so this could very well be a case of my characters keeping secrets from me.

Well, the two of them are in the rare situation of finding their soulmate at a very early age, so really, the venn diagram of “qualities I find attractive” and “qualities of my partner” for both of them is pretty much a circle.

I think they get a lot of what they need from one another, but they could stand to work on their relationship and their lives outside of one another. Even when it’s fairly stable, codependency is pretty damn unhealthy.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Goals are really just to keep one another safe and hopefully work back towards something resembling the people that Charlie loved so much.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

I always thought Marlene came from a very traditional Catholic family. She only seemed to go to church when things were going well and she was feeling stable tho, so Leo has mostly good memories attached to religion. After Charlie disappeared, he leaned hard into Saint Philomena icons and such because it felt better to pray than do nothing.

Dirk, and Max’s mom, were never religious so she doesn’t have many feelings on the subject either way. She might have some bitter thoughts towards it from time to time, but won’t badmouth anything she knows is comforting to Leo.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Definitely winter people. *Stefano from SNL voice* Hot food. Stiff drinks. SNUGGLES.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

That’s a hard one. Obviously people find them a bit off putting and weird most of the time. But Mina and Autumn at least also trust them and believe them to be capable, and in that, sort of develop fondness for their weirdness. I think for both of them, their sense of self is wrapped up in their sense of one another, so they aren’t very objective about themselves as individuals. That is a very wishywashy answer but here we are.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

They have never been very good with the first impressions, but they are pretty accurate to their typical behavior. Whether others warm up to them after getting used to it or not is up to that other person.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

In my constantly running mental “Charlie lives!au,” the mercys are expected to attend all kinds of high end social gatherings. They hate them on principal more than actual dislike of being at them. But they find ways to make them fun for themselves. Embarrassing Dirk and Marlene in any way they can mostly. subtly needling people they don’t like. Etc.

Leo doesn’t like dressing up, and Marlene is always trying to tell Max how to dress so it’s a point of tension. Max will always do the exact opposite with her clothes that Marlene wants, so if she gets the “show some leg and pop some cleave- we need these people in a good mood” order, she shows up in high necks and full skirts; if it’s “keep it classy, we need to be a wholesome all american family here,” she’s nothing but slink, open backs and thigh slits.

Once Charlie gets older and starts to attend these gatherings as well, they are on constant alert, making sure she doesn’t interact too much with the wrong people.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Well, as the story stands they don’t attend any parties. The closest they get is drinking with Autumn in the one scene in the screenplay. They like that just fine. 

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Leo still has a picture of Charlie and a Saint Philomena charm in his truck that he’d freak if he lost. Max has a beaded bracelet from her mother that only Leo has ever seen. She never wears it, but keeps it in a go bag just in case they have to make a quick run for it.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? 

They definitely have a go bag. Big wad of cash, basic survival materials in case they have to keep off the grid. fake ids. They’ve got it covered.

[kristallioness]

A few days late, but as promised, I'm finally answering this. Thanks goes to @hailkuvira and @mindatworkk for tagging me! ^_^

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Forest berry (including strawberry, raspberry and blueberry) flavoured Nestea, yum! A new brand of Nestea that I bought for the first time this weekend. Reminds me of regular berry juice. 2. Phone call: My mother. 3. Text message: Does the messenger on Facebook count? Cause then it'd be a chat about how we're doing with my former classmate, K.H. 4. Song you listened to: "Stay" by Hurts, their last song during the concert at Õllesummer. 5. Time you cried: Last week during a senseless row, after which everybody made up.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Not yet. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No. 8. Been cheated on: No. 9. Lost someone special: Yes, of course - a close family member, a schoolmate from our parallel class, famous Estonians who were and continue to be close to our hearts. 10. Been depressed: I haven't had depression (as in the mental illness that needs medical attention), but I've been through some hard times, sure. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No, and this is something I'm proud of. I've never been drunk and intend to keep it that way because I simply don't like alcohol.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Red, blue, black (black especially when it concerns clothing because it makes me look thinner).

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes. 16. Fallen out of love: No. 17. Laughed until you cried: Definitely, many times! Most likely while watching/reading something funny. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't think so. 19. Met someone who changed you: Again, I don't think I've changed. 20. Found out who your friends are: I've always known who they are. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I believe, since I don't have many friends and I don't add random strangers who I know nothing about. 23. Do you have any pets: No. I wanted to get a dog or a parrot when I was a little girl though, so whenever we passed our local pet store, my mom and I would go inside to look at those pretty colourful birds in the cages on sale.

24. Do you want to change your name: Definitely not, because it's really beautiful (for a reason)! I'm worried that my future husband and I would have a serious talk about which surname would stay, ha-ha! (Nah, I'm always ready to discuss our options.) 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Just stayed home with my parents, ate some special cake and enjoyed my day.. Wait, WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING!? It was another Kataang Week, for goodness' sake! I was busy participating and browsing through the quality content! 26. What time did you wake up: Today, around 2:45 pm. Just in time to see the start of the Formula 1 Austrian GP. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Putting away most of the stuff I brought home from my rented apartment/bought yesterday. 28. Name something you can't wait for: Umm.. Kataang Week (+ my birthday) in two weeks? Also, the first part of "Turf Wars" coming out soon. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: She's sleeping in the bedroom, so an hour ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: If I were younger, I would've answered by listing a dozen things. But honestly, nothing, because then it wouldn't be my life. I've learned to accept things as they are and that I can only change them when I do something about it. 31. What are you listening right now: Nothing. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I.. think.. not. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The state of the world, the current American President, minorities not being taken seriously (such as the LGBTQ+ community and their human rights; smaller countries and their people not being respected like the bigger ones - what Jean-Claude Juncker said when Malta was handing over the presidency to Estonia in the European Union last week), politicians provoking unnecessary xenophobia or hate towards refugees (the EKRE party in Estonia - gosh, I HATE THESE MORONS!), the political situations in many countries, how our certain neighbour is trying to restore its former glory by occupying small parts of its neighbouring countries (one by one) and we're all LETTING IT HAPPEN IN THE FRICKING 21ST CENTURY!.. Politics in general. 34. Most visited website: Ooh! I have so many: Gmail, Facebook, Neopets, YouTube, Tumblr...

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I have quite many all over my skin. 36. Mark/s: I have my dad's birthmark on the inside of my right thigh. 37. Childhood dream: To become a doctor. 38. Haircolor: Blonde. 39. Long or short hair: Long, very long. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: No. 41. What do you like about yourself: That I'm well-educated and intelligent, I worked really hard to get a gold medal and graduate with straight A's during secondary school. 42. Piercings: None, and I have no intention of letting any be done. 43. Bloodtype: A+, I think? Definitely A. 44. Nickname: Don't have any. 45. Relationship status: Single. 46. Zodiac: Leo. 47. Pronouns: She/her. 48. Favorite TV show: "Avatar: The Last Airbender". 49. Tattoos: None (yet). 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Twice - to have my adenoids and tonsils removed. 52. Hair dyed in different color: No. 53. Sport: Chess (I've won a trophy, 5 gold, 3 silver and 1 bronze medal from tournaments). 54. (question wasn't here) 55. Vacation: I always looked forward to my summer vacations during school/university. 56. Pair of trainers: Black and white Nike ones, though I have a few more in the cupboards.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I try to vary my menu, but recently it goes like: main dish, fruit and dessert along with milk, juice and tea. 58. Drinking: Anything non-alcoholic. 59. I'm about to: Finish answering these questions. 62. Want: To find a job, finish my WIPs. 63. Get married: I hope I will in the future. 64. Career: An IT-specialist, my second choice will always be a doctor.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. 67. Shorter or taller: Any height is okay. Though when it concerns me, then I've always liked that I'm much taller than most of my friends. Also, it gives me the advantage to seem more threatening. 68. Older or younger: Umm, both are okay? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Probably arms. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No. 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope, already covered that earlier.. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: It's not even possible because I don't wear any. 77. Turned someone down: Yes. 78. Sex on the first date: No. 79. Broken someone's heart: I'm not sure.. Maybe unintentionally? 80. Had your heart broken: Yes. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: Without him knowing and me getting over those mixed feelings - once.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes. 85. Miracles: I suppose in a way, yes. 86. Love at first sight: Yes. 87. Santa Claus: Yes, because I know there is a person like that who lives very near - in Lapland, Finland! 88. Kiss on the first date: Is this really something to believe in? If two people really match so well or have known each other for a long time before even going out on a date, then yes, it could happen.

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I don't think I have a best friend (just a lot of close friends), but the girl I met during 1st grade and who was my main deskmate during school throughout the years - J.K. 91. Eyecolor: Light greyish blue. 92. Favorite movie: There are so many! Mostly I like cheesy romantic comedies, plain comedies, good dramas or cartoons. How about "Cars" since its 3rd part is coming out in Estonian movie theatres on my birthday this July? (And yes, I'm thinking of going to see it as a birthday present.)

Tagging: @aconfusionoffandoms @cassidy-alice @chel-burr @cutiecount3 @erinchaaaa @eskalations @feelz-this-moment @interessantisanders @iroh-is-god @jinoras-light @jooliescorner @kataracy @kyeshirosaki @letthepickaxedothetalking @nautiscarader @obbsessedturtle @reducetoabsurdness @satanonatoilet @snotpup @teammeganftw

(Btw, questions 54, 60, 61, 69 and 89 are missing!)

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: A Wedgie for Wedgewood, Inflamed Calgary Fans, & Espo's Night

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: This Hawks/Panthers glitch – I won't lie, I've probably watched this three dozen times and I enjoy it more each time through.

The second star: This Coyotes fan – Apparently she likes Scott Wedgewood? I really hope that's what this means.

(Needless to say, he was thrilled.)

The first star: Jozy Altidore – He's a soccer player, for MLS champions Toronto FC. That's what got him invited to handle the ceremonial faceoff before the next Maple Leafs game. And, uh, the handshakes did not go well.

Altidore was too busy on his phone to notice that he left Maple Leafs alternate captain Leo Komarov hanging on a handshake. (He later apologized, and it was accepted.)

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

The NHL is celebrating the 100th anniversary of the league's first ever games this weekend. The main event is in Ottawa, where the Senators will host the Canadiens in the season's first outdoor game. It's a rematch from that very first opening night back in 1917, when the original Senators hosted the Habs and George Vezina outdueled Clint Benedict in a 7-4 Montreal win.

It's a pretty cool. There's just one minor problem: Saturday isn't actually the 100th anniversary. That would be December 19, which is Tuesday.

You can understand what the league is doing here, of course. They want these outdoor games to have as big an impact as possible, and that means holding them on weekends. Sure, you'd make the history purists happy by holding the event a few days later, but you lose out on ratings and revenue. Besides, as everyone who lives here could tell you, Ottawa is closed on Tuesday nights.

So yes, of course you have the big outdoor game a few days early. But check out the schedule for the league's official anniversary on Tuesday. Do you notice anything unusual?

Neither do I. It's basically a typical Tuesday night slate. And that's kind of odd, right?

The league's only other surviving original team, the Maple Leafs, are at home that night, but it's against the Hurricanes. The Senators are hosting the Wild. And even though the league launched with half its teams in Montreal, the Canadiens are on the road, in Vancouver. They couldn’t have given us a Leafs/Habs game as a nod to the other opening night matchup from 1917 that saw Toronto beat the Wanderers in the league's very first game? They didn't even do that NHL thing where they pretend that history started with the Original Six and give us one of those matchups.

It's not like the league hasn't spent the last year bathing itself in history. They've done ceremonies and fan votes and Top 100 lists dating back to last season. And for the most part, it's been great. I'm the last guy who'll ever complain about a league celebrating its history.

But when it comes to the two anniversary dates on the calendar that really matter—the formation of the league on November 26 and the first games on December 19—the NHL just kind of shrugged. It's weird. It's like your annoying friend who tries to turn their birthday party into a week-long event, then forgets to schedule anything for the actual day.

Throw us a bone, NHL. At least make the Leafs play by 1917 rules, with no forward passes or backup goalies and three-minute minors. Have half the Senators sit out the first period in a contract dispute. Burn down the Montreal arena. Something.

Or we could just have a few pre-game ceremonies on an otherwise typical Tuesday. I guess that works too. It just seems a little anti-climactic after all this buildup, no?

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Other than the 100th anniversary, the NHL's other big news this week is that it now seems inevitable that Seattle will be getting a team at some point in the next few years. Let's combine those two stories with this week's obscure player: goaltender Harry "Hap" Holmes.

Holmes isn't necessarily all that obscure in the big picture sense, or at least he shouldn't be—he's in the Hockey Hall of Fame. But it's probably fair to say that most modern fans don't know him. After all, he played a century ago, and his name isn't often remembered in the same tier as stars from the era like Joe Malone or Cy Denneny that at least some of today's fans may recognize.

In fact, most of Holmes's success as a pro came before the NHL existed. He won his first Stanley Cup in 1914 as a member of the Toronto Blueshirts of the NHA, the predecessor of the NHL. But it was his second that made history, as he backstopped the Pacific Coast Hockey Association's Seattle Metropolitans to a 1917 win, the first time the Cup had ever been captured by an American team. (Feel free to see how many of your hockey expert friends know that Seattle won a Stanley Cup long before places like New York, Chicago or Detroit.)

That 1917 Cup also marked the last one before the NHL arrived, and Holmes initially joined the new league's Toronto franchise. (That team didn't have a formal name, although they'd later be known as the Arenas.) That team went on to win the league title as well as the Stanley Cup, Holmes's third. He'd play just two more games for the team the following year before heading back to the Metropolitans, and later joined the Victoria Cougars of the Western Hockey League. He made some history there too, winning his fourth Stanley Cup in 1926 by beating the NHL's Montreal Maroons. It was the last time that the Cup was won by a team outside the NHL, who gained exclusive control of the trophy beginning in 1927.

That made it four Cups for Holmes with four different teams; to this day he remains the only NHL player to ever do that. (His former teammate and fellow Hall-of-Famer Jack Marshall did it too, but never appeared in the NHL.)

Holmes eventually returned to the NHL for a two-season stint beginning in 1926 when the Cougars moved to Detroit and joined the league after the WHL disbanded. In all, he played 103 games in parts of four NHL seasons, one of the five major pro leagues of the day he suited up for.

And perhaps my favorite Hap Holmes fact of them all: According to Wikipedia, he sometimes wore a cap when he played to protect him from objects thrown from the stands by the era's fans, who found that "his shining bald dome presented a tempting target."

Outrage of the Week

The issue: With expansion to Seattle looking like a done deal, the Flames seem intent on making Calgary fans think that a move to Houston is looming unless a new arena deal gets done. The outrage: Nobody seems to believe them, and fans aren't happy that the subject is coming up at all. Is it justified: The idea that the Flames could move if they don't get an arena deal isn't new—Gary Bettman suggested as much a few months ago, although he was vague on specifics. That was part of an effort to turn Calgary fans and voters against the city's mayor, who was seen as an obstacle to an arena deal. It didn't work.

The story resurfaced this week thanks to a column from Eric Francis of the Calgary Sun that skipped the subtleties and went straight to outright predicting that the Flames would be in Houston within three years. We don't know how much, if any, of that piece was based on information coming directly from the Flames. But even if Francis was simply presenting his own views, the fact that the Flames didn't immediately push back on the report suggests that, at the very least, they don’t mind having this stuff out there. (Full disclosure: Francis and I both contribute to Sportsnet.)

Seeing such a bold prediction of an imminent move had to make Flames fans nervous. But plenty of others took issues with the Francis piece, with Kent Wilson posting an in-depth takedown at The Athletic. Wilson's argument, in a nutshell, is that a move just doesn't add up, financially or otherwise. Calgary is a great market, and it wouldn't seem to make sense for the Flames to abandon that for an unknown market like Houston. And as Wilson points out, plenty of teams have played this game before that we now know were bluffing.

And that's the big problem here. Even if the Flames really are eying a move and trying to send warning signals to their fans before it's too late, this ground has just been trod too many times. NHL fans have heard this before—in Pittsburgh, in New Jersey, in Raleigh, and in just about every market that ever wanted a new area and didn't get it right away. It's a game that's playing out to varying degrees right now in Ottawa, Brooklyn, and (as always) Arizona. Once those situations are resolved, it will be someone else's turn.

This certainly isn't an NHL problem, and if anything the league has been more stable when it comes to franchise movement in the last two decades than the NFL or NBA. But when it comes to dropping threats, the NHL seems to view them as just part of how business is done in this league.

And that gets exhausting. The Flames aren't going anywhere unless this whole situation is misplayed by all sides so badly that it goes completely off the rails, and they'll end up with a new arena that will be partly funded by taxpayers. And within a few years, most of us will have forgotten all about this.

Most, but not all. Because you have to wonder how many diehard Flames fans, who've been with the team through good times and bad, are feeling just a little less enthusiasm for the team right now. The NHL is a business, as we're constantly reminded. But it's a business that charges a lot of money for an inconsistent product, and that means it relies on an awful lot of loyalty. Putting even a fraction of that at risk is a dangerous game.

That would be worth thinking about for NHL teams. It might already be too late for Calgary. If so, we'll have to wait and see whether their current threats come with a cost. And if so, whether the next teams in line learn any lessons

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last week marked the 30-year anniversary of one of my favorite moments from the 1980s. It didn't involve a goal or a save or a fight, or anything else that had anything to do with the game being played. But it did take place on the ice, and you won't hear a building get much louder than the old Boston Garden did back on December 3, 1987.

Yes, it's the legendary Phil Esposito jersey retirement. Our clip begins with Ray Bourque being called on to "make a presentation." That's fitting, since not only has he assumed Esposito's mantle as the Bruin's best player, but he wears the same #7 that's being retired. For a few more seconds, at least.

By the way, if you're thrown off Bob Wilson announcing Bourque as the Bruins captain but wearing an "A," he shared the duties with Rick Middleton that season. Middleton wore the "C" at home, while Bourque got it on the road.

It was always kind of weird that the Bruins gave Esposito's number to Bourque as a rookie. But it was even weirder that they also gave it to guys like Bill Bennett and Sean Shanahan in between. Remember, there was some bad blood between Esposito and the team after he was traded to the Rangers in 1975, which might explain why it took six years after his retirement for the Bruins to get around to officially honoring his number.

But to their credit, they eventually do it right. Bourque skates over and shares a few words with Esposito, then hands him a No. 7 jersey. You kind of sense Esposito accepting the gift with a "Yeah, thanks, I already have dozens of these" sort of vibe, but it's just the setup for the bigger moment to come.

With Esposito momentarily distracted, Bourque yanks his own No. 7 jersey off to reveal a second one underneath, this one bearing what would become his iconic No. 77. It takes a second for everyone to realize what just happened—Esposito didn't know this was coming, and seems genuinely stunned—and the crowd goes nuts once they clue in.

The back story here is that apparently Esposito thought Bourque was going to keep wearing No. 7, and was fine with that. But Bourque had never wanted the pressure that came with the number, so he jumped at the chance to swap it out while honoring an all-time great.

I feel like we don’t give Bourque enough credit for (literally) pulling this off so smoothly. You put me on live TV in front of 20,000 people and tell me to take a sweater off, there's a 100 percent chance it's going to end with me showing my bare tummy to the world for an awkwardly long period of time. Not Bourque. He sheds his jersey with near-Baumgartner speed, and still remembers to do a little pirouette so everyone can see what just happened. He wasn't one of the all-time greats for nothing.

Esposito throws on the jersey and starts his speech. Man, Phil was as cool as they'd come. How cool? Oh, roughly "wears tinted shades at his own retirement ceremony even though it's being held indoors" cool.

He thanks Bourque, and then mentions the Rangers, who are the visitors for this game. At the time, Esposito was their general manager, and whoo boy was that ever a fun time. I'm pretty sure that this two-minute speech is the longest period of time he managed to go as Rangers GM without making at least one trade.

Espo gets the cheap pop from a Bobby Orr mention, mentions exactly nobody from management or ownership, and then thanks the fans. We end with a shot of his number going up to the rafters. It's helpfully labelled "Philip A. Esposito," just in case some other Philip Esposito came along and everyone got confused.

At one point, the number is going up so crooked that it's nearly sideways, but they get it straightened out by the end. Near miss there. That would have been right up there with the night the Canucks honored Markus Naslund, shone a spotlight through his No. 19, and turned it into a giant frowny face.

To this day everyone's favorite Bourque memory is the Cup handoff from Joe Sakic, and rightly so. But the Esposito number swap should absolutely be a close second. If Gordie Howe gets to be Mr. Hockey, Bourque might have to start going by Mr. Ceremony. He's like the polar opposite of this guy.

Years later, Esposito would be on hand when the Bruins retired Bourque's #77, although he did not disrobe during the ceremony. At least as far as we know.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: A Wedgie for Wedgewood, Inflamed Calgary Fans, & Espo's Night published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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DGB Grab Bag: A Wedgie for Wedgewood, Inflamed Calgary Fans, & Espo’s Night

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: This Hawks/Panthers glitch – I won’t lie, I’ve probably watched this three dozen times and I enjoy it more each time through.

The second star: This Coyotes fan – Apparently she likes Scott Wedgewood? I really hope that’s what this means.

(Needless to say, he was thrilled.)

The first star: Jozy Altidore – He’s a soccer player, for MLS champions Toronto FC. That’s what got him invited to handle the ceremonial faceoff before the next Maple Leafs game. And, uh, the handshakes did not go well.

Altidore was too busy on his phone to notice that he left Maple Leafs alternate captain Leo Komarov hanging on a handshake. (He later apologized, and it was accepted.)

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

The NHL is celebrating the 100th anniversary of the league’s first ever games this weekend. The main event is in Ottawa, where the Senators will host the Canadiens in the season’s first outdoor game. It’s a rematch from that very first opening night back in 1917, when the original Senators hosted the Habs and George Vezina outdueled Clint Benedict in a 7-4 Montreal win.

It’s a pretty cool. There’s just one minor problem: Saturday isn’t actually the 100th anniversary. That would be December 19, which is Tuesday.

You can understand what the league is doing here, of course. They want these outdoor games to have as big an impact as possible, and that means holding them on weekends. Sure, you’d make the history purists happy by holding the event a few days later, but you lose out on ratings and revenue. Besides, as everyone who lives here could tell you, Ottawa is closed on Tuesday nights.

So yes, of course you have the big outdoor game a few days early. But check out the schedule for the league’s official anniversary on Tuesday. Do you notice anything unusual?

Neither do I. It’s basically a typical Tuesday night slate. And that’s kind of odd, right?

The league’s only other surviving original team, the Maple Leafs, are at home that night, but it’s against the Hurricanes. The Senators are hosting the Wild. And even though the league launched with half its teams in Montreal, the Canadiens are on the road, in Vancouver. They couldn’t have given us a Leafs/Habs game as a nod to the other opening night matchup from 1917 that saw Toronto beat the Wanderers in the league’s very first game? They didn’t even do that NHL thing where they pretend that history started with the Original Six and give us one of those matchups.

It’s not like the league hasn’t spent the last year bathing itself in history. They’ve done ceremonies and fan votes and Top 100 lists dating back to last season. And for the most part, it’s been great. I’m the last guy who’ll ever complain about a league celebrating its history.

But when it comes to the two anniversary dates on the calendar that really matter—the formation of the league on November 26 and the first games on December 19—the NHL just kind of shrugged. It’s weird. It’s like your annoying friend who tries to turn their birthday party into a week-long event, then forgets to schedule anything for the actual day.

Throw us a bone, NHL. At least make the Leafs play by 1917 rules, with no forward passes or backup goalies and three-minute minors. Have half the Senators sit out the first period in a contract dispute. Burn down the Montreal arena. Something.

Or we could just have a few pre-game ceremonies on an otherwise typical Tuesday. I guess that works too. It just seems a little anti-climactic after all this buildup, no?

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Other than the 100th anniversary, the NHL’s other big news this week is that it now seems inevitable that Seattle will be getting a team at some point in the next few years. Let’s combine those two stories with this week’s obscure player: goaltender Harry “Hap” Holmes.

Holmes isn’t necessarily all that obscure in the big picture sense, or at least he shouldn’t be—he’s in the Hockey Hall of Fame. But it’s probably fair to say that most modern fans don’t know him. After all, he played a century ago, and his name isn’t often remembered in the same tier as stars from the era like Joe Malone or Cy Denneny that at least some of today’s fans may recognize.

In fact, most of Holmes’s success as a pro came before the NHL existed. He won his first Stanley Cup in 1914 as a member of the Toronto Blueshirts of the NHA, the predecessor of the NHL. But it was his second that made history, as he backstopped the Pacific Coast Hockey Association’s Seattle Metropolitans to a 1917 win, the first time the Cup had ever been captured by an American team. (Feel free to see how many of your hockey expert friends know that Seattle won a Stanley Cup long before places like New York, Chicago or Detroit.)

That 1917 Cup also marked the last one before the NHL arrived, and Holmes initially joined the new league’s Toronto franchise. (That team didn’t have a formal name, although they’d later be known as the Arenas.) That team went on to win the league title as well as the Stanley Cup, Holmes’s third. He’d play just two more games for the team the following year before heading back to the Metropolitans, and later joined the Victoria Cougars of the Western Hockey League. He made some history there too, winning his fourth Stanley Cup in 1926 by beating the NHL’s Montreal Maroons. It was the last time that the Cup was won by a team outside the NHL, who gained exclusive control of the trophy beginning in 1927.

That made it four Cups for Holmes with four different teams; to this day he remains the only NHL player to ever do that. (His former teammate and fellow Hall-of-Famer Jack Marshall did it too, but never appeared in the NHL.)

Holmes eventually returned to the NHL for a two-season stint beginning in 1926 when the Cougars moved to Detroit and joined the league after the WHL disbanded. In all, he played 103 games in parts of four NHL seasons, one of the five major pro leagues of the day he suited up for.

And perhaps my favorite Hap Holmes fact of them all: According to Wikipedia, he sometimes wore a cap when he played to protect him from objects thrown from the stands by the era’s fans, who found that “his shining bald dome presented a tempting target.”

Outrage of the Week

The issue: With expansion to Seattle looking like a done deal, the Flames seem intent on making Calgary fans think that a move to Houston is looming unless a new arena deal gets done.

The outrage: Nobody seems to believe them, and fans aren’t happy that the subject is coming up at all.

Is it justified: The idea that the Flames could move if they don’t get an arena deal isn’t new—Gary Bettman suggested as much a few months ago, although he was vague on specifics. That was part of an effort to turn Calgary fans and voters against the city’s mayor, who was seen as an obstacle to an arena deal. It didn’t work.

The story resurfaced this week thanks to a column from Eric Francis of the Calgary Sun that skipped the subtleties and went straight to outright predicting that the Flames would be in Houston within three years. We don’t know how much, if any, of that piece was based on information coming directly from the Flames. But even if Francis was simply presenting his own views, the fact that the Flames didn’t immediately push back on the report suggests that, at the very least, they don’t mind having this stuff out there. (Full disclosure: Francis and I both contribute to Sportsnet.)

Seeing such a bold prediction of an imminent move had to make Flames fans nervous. But plenty of others took issues with the Francis piece, with Kent Wilson posting an in-depth takedown at The Athletic. Wilson’s argument, in a nutshell, is that a move just doesn’t add up, financially or otherwise. Calgary is a great market, and it wouldn’t seem to make sense for the Flames to abandon that for an unknown market like Houston. And as Wilson points out, plenty of teams have played this game before that we now know were bluffing.

And that’s the big problem here. Even if the Flames really are eying a move and trying to send warning signals to their fans before it’s too late, this ground has just been trod too many times. NHL fans have heard this before—in Pittsburgh, in New Jersey, in Raleigh, and in just about every market that ever wanted a new area and didn’t get it right away. It’s a game that’s playing out to varying degrees right now in Ottawa, Brooklyn, and (as always) Arizona. Once those situations are resolved, it will be someone else’s turn.

This certainly isn’t an NHL problem, and if anything the league has been more stable when it comes to franchise movement in the last two decades than the NFL or NBA. But when it comes to dropping threats, the NHL seems to view them as just part of how business is done in this league.

And that gets exhausting. The Flames aren’t going anywhere unless this whole situation is misplayed by all sides so badly that it goes completely off the rails, and they’ll end up with a new arena that will be partly funded by taxpayers. And within a few years, most of us will have forgotten all about this.

Most, but not all. Because you have to wonder how many diehard Flames fans, who’ve been with the team through good times and bad, are feeling just a little less enthusiasm for the team right now. The NHL is a business, as we’re constantly reminded. But it’s a business that charges a lot of money for an inconsistent product, and that means it relies on an awful lot of loyalty. Putting even a fraction of that at risk is a dangerous game.

That would be worth thinking about for NHL teams. It might already be too late for Calgary. If so, we’ll have to wait and see whether their current threats come with a cost. And if so, whether the next teams in line learn any lessons

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last week marked the 30-year anniversary of one of my favorite moments from the 1980s. It didn’t involve a goal or a save or a fight, or anything else that had anything to do with the game being played. But it did take place on the ice, and you won’t hear a building get much louder than the old Boston Garden did back on December 3, 1987.

Yes, it’s the legendary Phil Esposito jersey retirement. Our clip begins with Ray Bourque being called on to “make a presentation.” That’s fitting, since not only has he assumed Esposito’s mantle as the Bruin’s best player, but he wears the same #7 that’s being retired. For a few more seconds, at least.

By the way, if you’re thrown off Bob Wilson announcing Bourque as the Bruins captain but wearing an “A,” he shared the duties with Rick Middleton that season. Middleton wore the “C” at home, while Bourque got it on the road.

It was always kind of weird that the Bruins gave Esposito’s number to Bourque as a rookie. But it was even weirder that they also gave it to guys like Bill Bennett and Sean Shanahan in between. Remember, there was some bad blood between Esposito and the team after he was traded to the Rangers in 1975, which might explain why it took six years after his retirement for the Bruins to get around to officially honoring his number.

But to their credit, they eventually do it right. Bourque skates over and shares a few words with Esposito, then hands him a No. 7 jersey. You kind of sense Esposito accepting the gift with a “Yeah, thanks, I already have dozens of these” sort of vibe, but it’s just the setup for the bigger moment to come.

With Esposito momentarily distracted, Bourque yanks his own No. 7 jersey off to reveal a second one underneath, this one bearing what would become his iconic No. 77. It takes a second for everyone to realize what just happened—Esposito didn’t know this was coming, and seems genuinely stunned—and the crowd goes nuts once they clue in.

The back story here is that apparently Esposito thought Bourque was going to keep wearing No. 7, and was fine with that. But Bourque had never wanted the pressure that came with the number, so he jumped at the chance to swap it out while honoring an all-time great.

I feel like we don’t give Bourque enough credit for (literally) pulling this off so smoothly. You put me on live TV in front of 20,000 people and tell me to take a sweater off, there’s a 100 percent chance it’s going to end with me showing my bare tummy to the world for an awkwardly long period of time. Not Bourque. He sheds his jersey with near-Baumgartner speed, and still remembers to do a little pirouette so everyone can see what just happened. He wasn’t one of the all-time greats for nothing.

Esposito throws on the jersey and starts his speech. Man, Phil was as cool as they’d come. How cool? Oh, roughly “wears tinted shades at his own retirement ceremony even though it’s being held indoors” cool.

He thanks Bourque, and then mentions the Rangers, who are the visitors for this game. At the time, Esposito was their general manager, and whoo boy was that ever a fun time. I’m pretty sure that this two-minute speech is the longest period of time he managed to go as Rangers GM without making at least one trade.

Espo gets the cheap pop from a Bobby Orr mention, mentions exactly nobody from management or ownership, and then thanks the fans. We end with a shot of his number going up to the rafters. It’s helpfully labelled “Philip A. Esposito,” just in case some other Philip Esposito came along and everyone got confused.

At one point, the number is going up so crooked that it’s nearly sideways, but they get it straightened out by the end. Near miss there. That would have been right up there with the night the Canucks honored Markus Naslund, shone a spotlight through his No. 19, and turned it into a giant frowny face.

To this day everyone’s favorite Bourque memory is the Cup handoff from Joe Sakic, and rightly so. But the Esposito number swap should absolutely be a close second. If Gordie Howe gets to be Mr. Hockey, Bourque might have to start going by Mr. Ceremony. He’s like the polar opposite of this guy.

Years later, Esposito would be on hand when the Bruins retired Bourque’s #77, although he did not disrobe during the ceremony. At least as far as we know.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: A Wedgie for Wedgewood, Inflamed Calgary Fans, & Espo’s Night syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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DGB Grab Bag: A Wedgie for Wedgewood, Inflamed Calgary Fans, & Espo's Night

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: This Hawks/Panthers glitch – I won't lie, I've probably watched this three dozen times and I enjoy it more each time through.

The second star: This Coyotes fan – Apparently she likes Scott Wedgewood? I really hope that's what this means.

(Needless to say, he was thrilled.)

The first star: Jozy Altidore – He's a soccer player, for MLS champions Toronto FC. That's what got him invited to handle the ceremonial faceoff before the next Maple Leafs game. And, uh, the handshakes did not go well.

Altidore was too busy on his phone to notice that he left Maple Leafs alternate captain Leo Komarov hanging on a handshake. (He later apologized, and it was accepted.)

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

The NHL is celebrating the 100th anniversary of the league's first ever games this weekend. The main event is in Ottawa, where the Senators will host the Canadiens in the season's first outdoor game. It's a rematch from that very first opening night back in 1917, when the original Senators hosted the Habs and George Vezina outdueled Clint Benedict in a 7-4 Montreal win.

It's a pretty cool. There's just one minor problem: Saturday isn't actually the 100th anniversary. That would be December 19, which is Tuesday.

You can understand what the league is doing here, of course. They want these outdoor games to have as big an impact as possible, and that means holding them on weekends. Sure, you'd make the history purists happy by holding the event a few days later, but you lose out on ratings and revenue. Besides, as everyone who lives here could tell you, Ottawa is closed on Tuesday nights.

So yes, of course you have the big outdoor game a few days early. But check out the schedule for the league's official anniversary on Tuesday. Do you notice anything unusual?

Neither do I. It's basically a typical Tuesday night slate. And that's kind of odd, right?

The league's only other surviving original team, the Maple Leafs, are at home that night, but it's against the Hurricanes. The Senators are hosting the Wild. And even though the league launched with half its teams in Montreal, the Canadiens are on the road, in Vancouver. They couldn’t have given us a Leafs/Habs game as a nod to the other opening night matchup from 1917 that saw Toronto beat the Wanderers in the league's very first game? They didn't even do that NHL thing where they pretend that history started with the Original Six and give us one of those matchups.

It's not like the league hasn't spent the last year bathing itself in history. They've done ceremonies and fan votes and Top 100 lists dating back to last season. And for the most part, it's been great. I'm the last guy who'll ever complain about a league celebrating its history.

But when it comes to the two anniversary dates on the calendar that really matter—the formation of the league on November 26 and the first games on December 19—the NHL just kind of shrugged. It's weird. It's like your annoying friend who tries to turn their birthday party into a week-long event, then forgets to schedule anything for the actual day.

Throw us a bone, NHL. At least make the Leafs play by 1917 rules, with no forward passes or backup goalies and three-minute minors. Have half the Senators sit out the first period in a contract dispute. Burn down the Montreal arena. Something.

Or we could just have a few pre-game ceremonies on an otherwise typical Tuesday. I guess that works too. It just seems a little anti-climactic after all this buildup, no?

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Other than the 100th anniversary, the NHL's other big news this week is that it now seems inevitable that Seattle will be getting a team at some point in the next few years. Let's combine those two stories with this week's obscure player: goaltender Harry "Hap" Holmes.

Holmes isn't necessarily all that obscure in the big picture sense, or at least he shouldn't be—he's in the Hockey Hall of Fame. But it's probably fair to say that most modern fans don't know him. After all, he played a century ago, and his name isn't often remembered in the same tier as stars from the era like Joe Malone or Cy Denneny that at least some of today's fans may recognize.

In fact, most of Holmes's success as a pro came before the NHL existed. He won his first Stanley Cup in 1914 as a member of the Toronto Blueshirts of the NHA, the predecessor of the NHL. But it was his second that made history, as he backstopped the Pacific Coast Hockey Association's Seattle Metropolitans to a 1917 win, the first time the Cup had ever been captured by an American team. (Feel free to see how many of your hockey expert friends know that Seattle won a Stanley Cup long before places like New York, Chicago or Detroit.)

That 1917 Cup also marked the last one before the NHL arrived, and Holmes initially joined the new league's Toronto franchise. (That team didn't have a formal name, although they'd later be known as the Arenas.) That team went on to win the league title as well as the Stanley Cup, Holmes's third. He'd play just two more games for the team the following year before heading back to the Metropolitans, and later joined the Victoria Cougars of the Western Hockey League. He made some history there too, winning his fourth Stanley Cup in 1926 by beating the NHL's Montreal Maroons. It was the last time that the Cup was won by a team outside the NHL, who gained exclusive control of the trophy beginning in 1927.

That made it four Cups for Holmes with four different teams; to this day he remains the only NHL player to ever do that. (His former teammate and fellow Hall-of-Famer Jack Marshall did it too, but never appeared in the NHL.)

Holmes eventually returned to the NHL for a two-season stint beginning in 1926 when the Cougars moved to Detroit and joined the league after the WHL disbanded. In all, he played 103 games in parts of four NHL seasons, one of the five major pro leagues of the day he suited up for.

And perhaps my favorite Hap Holmes fact of them all: According to Wikipedia, he sometimes wore a cap when he played to protect him from objects thrown from the stands by the era's fans, who found that "his shining bald dome presented a tempting target."

Outrage of the Week

The issue: With expansion to Seattle looking like a done deal, the Flames seem intent on making Calgary fans think that a move to Houston is looming unless a new arena deal gets done. The outrage: Nobody seems to believe them, and fans aren't happy that the subject is coming up at all. Is it justified: The idea that the Flames could move if they don't get an arena deal isn't new—Gary Bettman suggested as much a few months ago, although he was vague on specifics. That was part of an effort to turn Calgary fans and voters against the city's mayor, who was seen as an obstacle to an arena deal. It didn't work.

The story resurfaced this week thanks to a column from Eric Francis of the Calgary Sun that skipped the subtleties and went straight to outright predicting that the Flames would be in Houston within three years. We don't know how much, if any, of that piece was based on information coming directly from the Flames. But even if Francis was simply presenting his own views, the fact that the Flames didn't immediately push back on the report suggests that, at the very least, they don’t mind having this stuff out there. (Full disclosure: Francis and I both contribute to Sportsnet.)

Seeing such a bold prediction of an imminent move had to make Flames fans nervous. But plenty of others took issues with the Francis piece, with Kent Wilson posting an in-depth takedown at The Athletic. Wilson's argument, in a nutshell, is that a move just doesn't add up, financially or otherwise. Calgary is a great market, and it wouldn't seem to make sense for the Flames to abandon that for an unknown market like Houston. And as Wilson points out, plenty of teams have played this game before that we now know were bluffing.

And that's the big problem here. Even if the Flames really are eying a move and trying to send warning signals to their fans before it's too late, this ground has just been trod too many times. NHL fans have heard this before—in Pittsburgh, in New Jersey, in Raleigh, and in just about every market that ever wanted a new area and didn't get it right away. It's a game that's playing out to varying degrees right now in Ottawa, Brooklyn, and (as always) Arizona. Once those situations are resolved, it will be someone else's turn.

This certainly isn't an NHL problem, and if anything the league has been more stable when it comes to franchise movement in the last two decades than the NFL or NBA. But when it comes to dropping threats, the NHL seems to view them as just part of how business is done in this league.

And that gets exhausting. The Flames aren't going anywhere unless this whole situation is misplayed by all sides so badly that it goes completely off the rails, and they'll end up with a new arena that will be partly funded by taxpayers. And within a few years, most of us will have forgotten all about this.

Most, but not all. Because you have to wonder how many diehard Flames fans, who've been with the team through good times and bad, are feeling just a little less enthusiasm for the team right now. The NHL is a business, as we're constantly reminded. But it's a business that charges a lot of money for an inconsistent product, and that means it relies on an awful lot of loyalty. Putting even a fraction of that at risk is a dangerous game.

That would be worth thinking about for NHL teams. It might already be too late for Calgary. If so, we'll have to wait and see whether their current threats come with a cost. And if so, whether the next teams in line learn any lessons

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last week marked the 30-year anniversary of one of my favorite moments from the 1980s. It didn't involve a goal or a save or a fight, or anything else that had anything to do with the game being played. But it did take place on the ice, and you won't hear a building get much louder than the old Boston Garden did back on December 3, 1987.

Yes, it's the legendary Phil Esposito jersey retirement. Our clip begins with Ray Bourque being called on to "make a presentation." That's fitting, since not only has he assumed Esposito's mantle as the Bruin's best player, but he wears the same #7 that's being retired. For a few more seconds, at least.

By the way, if you're thrown off Bob Wilson announcing Bourque as the Bruins captain but wearing an "A," he shared the duties with Rick Middleton that season. Middleton wore the "C" at home, while Bourque got it on the road.

It was always kind of weird that the Bruins gave Esposito's number to Bourque as a rookie. But it was even weirder that they also gave it to guys like Bill Bennett and Sean Shanahan in between. Remember, there was some bad blood between Esposito and the team after he was traded to the Rangers in 1975, which might explain why it took six years after his retirement for the Bruins to get around to officially honoring his number.

But to their credit, they eventually do it right. Bourque skates over and shares a few words with Esposito, then hands him a No. 7 jersey. You kind of sense Esposito accepting the gift with a "Yeah, thanks, I already have dozens of these" sort of vibe, but it's just the setup for the bigger moment to come.

With Esposito momentarily distracted, Bourque yanks his own No. 7 jersey off to reveal a second one underneath, this one bearing what would become his iconic No. 77. It takes a second for everyone to realize what just happened—Esposito didn't know this was coming, and seems genuinely stunned—and the crowd goes nuts once they clue in.

The back story here is that apparently Esposito thought Bourque was going to keep wearing No. 7, and was fine with that. But Bourque had never wanted the pressure that came with the number, so he jumped at the chance to swap it out while honoring an all-time great.

I feel like we don’t give Bourque enough credit for (literally) pulling this off so smoothly. You put me on live TV in front of 20,000 people and tell me to take a sweater off, there's a 100 percent chance it's going to end with me showing my bare tummy to the world for an awkwardly long period of time. Not Bourque. He sheds his jersey with near-Baumgartner speed, and still remembers to do a little pirouette so everyone can see what just happened. He wasn't one of the all-time greats for nothing.

Esposito throws on the jersey and starts his speech. Man, Phil was as cool as they'd come. How cool? Oh, roughly "wears tinted shades at his own retirement ceremony even though it's being held indoors" cool.

He thanks Bourque, and then mentions the Rangers, who are the visitors for this game. At the time, Esposito was their general manager, and whoo boy was that ever a fun time. I'm pretty sure that this two-minute speech is the longest period of time he managed to go as Rangers GM without making at least one trade.

Espo gets the cheap pop from a Bobby Orr mention, mentions exactly nobody from management or ownership, and then thanks the fans. We end with a shot of his number going up to the rafters. It's helpfully labelled "Philip A. Esposito," just in case some other Philip Esposito came along and everyone got confused.

At one point, the number is going up so crooked that it's nearly sideways, but they get it straightened out by the end. Near miss there. That would have been right up there with the night the Canucks honored Markus Naslund, shone a spotlight through his No. 19, and turned it into a giant frowny face.

To this day everyone's favorite Bourque memory is the Cup handoff from Joe Sakic, and rightly so. But the Esposito number swap should absolutely be a close second. If Gordie Howe gets to be Mr. Hockey, Bourque might have to start going by Mr. Ceremony. He's like the polar opposite of this guy.

Years later, Esposito would be on hand when the Bruins retired Bourque's #77, although he did not disrobe during the ceremony. At least as far as we know.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

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