#because my laptop can't handle the game despite me getting it last year TO HANDLE GAMES

[findusinaweek]

Guava is the cure to depression

[risu5waffles]

You Gotta be Shit-TEN me

i swear to Entropy, if i tacked an extra year or so onto my laptop's lifespan through the judicious application of compressed air... well, i'll be happy, natch, but i will also be paradoxically pissed off.

Meh. We talked about this one last week. It's just as much now as it was then.

This is the original(? Still kind of mysterious there) version of The Land of Nod that we took a look at on LittleBite-sizedPlanet 263. i wasn't going to put this one up, but... like, i had the whole thing recorded for comparison purposed anyways, so, like, why let it go to waste? If you run this next to LBsA episode 184, you can see clearly the movement issues i mentioned in the LBsP review. It is just such a pain in the butt to get anywhere wivout the lower gravity in the LBP2 version. It makes me wonder even more, why did weirdybeardy bother publishing this?

This level is shockingly good for managing to maintain that LBP1 feel, while still actually being a good time. You can see the bits where LBP3 tech is used, and used to good effect, but it's really like having a run through a quite well-done bit of oldschool. i really hope God_Est_1983 (who i think is SiriusOculusCentrifuge7488 on YouTube, and i was pretty sure i was following here, but now i can't seem to find) sticks wiv this theme, 'cause they have a very solid grasp on how to do it right.

Ahh, roller coasters, who doesn't love roller coasters? Plenty of people for entirely legitimate reasons. i love roller coasters, tho', and it's been ages since i've been on one, so i am absolutely here for running into them in LBP from time to time. i do wonder what happened to the vehicles fad. i know there're still folx making them, but i hardly seem to run into a good vehicle centered level anymore. This one was nice in that it did give us some game play along wiv the ride, even if it's fiddly, kludgy, and promises a secret area i sure as heck couldn't find (despite breaking the level in two different places looking for it.

i really, really had a good time wiv this one. Just a straight race, no frills, but pretty well put-together for all that. The lighting is just bright enough to track the action, but plenty dark enough to give a bit of thrill (which is a bit surprising given how poorly LBP3 tends to handle lighting in LBP1 & 2 levels). Yeah, simple, sweet, fun. i bet this would have been a whole time wiv friends.

Wow... this one is. Kind of a lot? i mean it is impressive for the amount of stuff robbieeffect managed to cram in there, and i did appreciate all the secrets (and a counter at the end, always nice to see those in an LBP1 level). It is kludgy as all fuck, tho', and i'd argue some of the elements are a bit questionable. Still, i am never forgiving this one for doing 8 times the views of an average video, and all because of that silly ass Brian holding a martini that wound up in the thumbnail. i mean, i knew what i was doing, but i still hate that i turned out to be correct.

This was a nice one. Nothing too special to write home about, but decent platforming, and a pretty good look. The real neat point, tho', was how they actually tried to make some fairly dramatic changes if you replayed wiv the sticker you get for winning. Sure, it's just lighting and a little bit of camera, but it makes for a markedly different experience (one that, i don't think it was originally designed for, and some of the bits are near impossible, because there's no background to give a contrast to your silhouette) that i really appreciated. It's very seldom i run into levels that really try to pull that off at all.

We talked about this on Friday, and it's the same as it was then. i still can't believe Marmalade chops up the baked bean tree for fire wood. That's all kinds of fucked up (that's not in the level, that's in the short story, but still).

i had a real good time wiv this one. It's got a really good look to it, and manages to be pretty smooth and fun for an Oddsock level (i mean, the character is intended for smooth gameplay, i'm just not sure a lot of creators get how to pull that off well).

For a first level, this is really quite good. It ends a little abruptly, and i would have done a little bit more to differentiate the big swaths of cardboard for the walls (dephysed thin layer shapes and stripes, probably, if i were averse to using stickers), but the gameplay is fun, varied, and relatively zippy. That first set of jumps sets some expectations the level doesn't really live up to, so i think i might've had that bit later, if i weren't going to build on the precision aspect. Still, this is seriously solid work right off the chump.

--------------------------------------------

So that's our ten. i got a little done today, if not as much as i would have hoped. After i got that bombtest finished, i was just knackered for no reason? Got a nap in, then had to run around to get some air so i could fix the laptop and type all this up for y'all, you wonderful wonderful people. i mean that last part seriously. Thank you for putting up wiv my shite. Anyhoot. Gotta get this curry cooked, 'cause it ain't gonna do it itself. Maybe i'll get some more create mode in before Dead Cells tonight, but who knows. At any rate, have a great day, and keep yourselves safe, ok?

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Walk Away (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello!

Double Lizzie! All I will say is be prepared for chaos. Enjoy! :)

Summary: How will Y/n handle developing feelings for Wanda and an intricate history with Leigh? Will it all boil over on their birthday?

It was a mistake. It had to be. That’s the only way you could rationalize the invitation glaring obnoxiously back at you from the screen of your laptop. You pinched the bridge of your nose to ease the tension that had built from being in the situation.

As much as you wished you didn’t, you couldn’t help but feel the familiar sensation of irritation that began to crawl under your skin. It seemed that no matter how many times you played this game, you were always the one at the disadvantage.

Again, and again, and again.

The routine of her pushing you away and pulling you close was familiar, but you expected things to be different this time around. That was your own fault. You were foolish to think that anything would change.

The cycle would never end because you would never have the strength to break it.

Figuring there was nothing to lose, you pulled out your phone and dialed the number you had memorized years ago. It wasn’t like you expect her to answer anyway. She hadn’t since your night together and you were quite comfortable with her voicemail at this point.

“Hello?” The surprise of Leigh actually answering caused you to choke slightly. In an attempt to breathe through the fit, you began coughing. “If you’re choking you should’ve called 911, not me.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

You adored the woman, but nothing would’ve given you more satisfaction than to be able to flip her off in that moment.

With a final cough you rushed out a reply. There was no point in beating around the bush with formalities. She might hang up before you got to the point. “Was it a mistake?” The words clumsily tumbled from your lips without allowing your mind time to process how they may sound.

“Are you seriously-”

“The invitation to your party.” You clarified over the sound of Leigh’s response.

There was a brief pause. “Oh. That.” You furrowed your brows. “No, it wasn’t. You should come. I mean, if you want to come. I know it’s last minute.”

If Leigh wasn’t infamous for her brutal honesty you would have thought that was the opposite of what she wanted. “I’ll be there. I think it’s only fair since I missed your last one.”

Her last birthday must have been much harder than this one and the guilt that you left her alone for it still weighed heavily on your conscious.

An awkward silence hung tensely in the air. “Right. Well... See you then. Bye.”

“By-” A small frown tugged at the corners of your lips when the dial tone interrupted your parting. “Of course.” Leigh was always an enigma but lately you had been getting whiplash from the uncertainty of it all.

You couldn’t help but feel like you always seemed to lose a piece of yourself to her whenever you spoke.

There was one person who's conversations didn't come wrapped in barbed wire. One person who stole all your words away in the best way possible. Just the thought of her eased the tension that pressed heavily against your chest.

It was as if she knew you were thinking of her because your phone began ringing almost immediately after thoughts of her began to float through your mind. You couldn’t help but smile that appeared when you saw her name flash across your screen.

Your spirits had been lifted before you even heard her voice. “Hey, I was just thinking about you.”

A quiet hum drifted over the line and you could see her soft smile so vividly in your mind that it was almost as if she was there with you. “Is that so?” You hummed in response. “And what exactly was it that you were thinking about?”

Absentmindedly you began fiddling with a pen that was on your desk. “Oh, just that I kind of miss you, Maximoff.”

The sound of her laughter made butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Only kind of? Guess I should ask them to extend my time over here until you fully miss me.”

You gasped in mock indignation. “Don’t you dare.”

“I kind of miss you too, Y/n.” She said softly, and the butterflies multiplied. “I was actually calling for a different reason though.”

Again, you gasped in mock indignation. “So, you mean to tell me you didn’t call just because you couldn’t bear to go another minute without hearing my voice?”

The laughter that floated down the line was even more boisterous than before which caused your own smile to grow. “That and I have a question.”

“I might have an answer.” You replied easily.

You could hear the sounds from where she was become louder, but she didn’t seem fazed by it. “Are you going to Leigh’s party tomorrow?”

The pen slipped from your grip. “Technically your party as well. Tomorrow is your birthday too.”

“Parties aren’t really my thing. It’s Leigh’s party.” There was a shyness to her words that you found so endearing. “You didn’t answer my question.”

You picked the pen up again. “I’ll be there. I wouldn't miss it. I wasn't around for her birthday last year and it was after she lost-” you stopped yourself, not sure of how much Wanda knew about Leigh’s life yet.

“Her husband.” Wanda finished quietly. You nodded even though you knew she couldn’t see it. “Why weren't you there last year?”

On reflex your fingers formed a fist around the pen. “It’s a long story. A story for when you’re not who knows where.”

You dreaded the day you’d have to explain the complicated web of history that you shared with Leigh. The thought alone filled your body with anxiety.

It was as though Wanda could sense your discomfort, as she changed the subject. “I’m pretty sure I told you where I was.”

“I’m positive you didn’t. Keeping up the mystery.” You teased lightly. “Will you be back in town in time for the party?” The obvious hope that slipped into your words made you bite back a groan. You hoped she didn’t think you were desperate as you sounded.

There was a bit more commotion coming from Wanda’s end. “I actually should be touching down right before Leigh’s party begins. I wasn’t sure if I should go or not.”

“You have to go. Please. Then I can give you your present on your actual birthday.”

For a moment there was silence. “You got me a present?” She asked quietly.

Again, you nodded even though she couldn’t see. “Of course I did. You’re- I- We’re friends.” You stuttered out nervously even though friends was the last thing you wanted to be with Wanda.

“Oh.” She mumbled and suddenly the commotion became even louder. “Hey, Y/n, I have to go, but I’ll be there. I can’t wait to see you.”

A small blush spread across your cheeks. “I can’t wait to see you either, Wanda. Safe travels.”

Maybe tomorrow wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it was going to be.

_______________

From the sound of it, the party was in full swing and you couldn’t help but feel nerves build in your chest as you knocked hesitantly on the door. “Y/n!” Jules greeted happily as she ushered you into the home.

“Hi, Jules.” You mumbled, still feeling the residual embarrassment from the last time you saw her.

She nudged you playfully. “If you plan on sneaking out tonight after your extracurriculars with my sister, just make sure you plan ahead.”

You shifted uncomfortably. “That’s no-” But she had walked away before you could finish your sentence. Looks like that ran in the Shaw family.

With a sigh, you ambled out into the backyard where it seemed everyone was gathered. You didn’t see a point in lingering inside when the memory of the last time you’d been there was still so fresh in your mind.

It only took a moment, but you finally found Leigh by one of the tables speaking animatedly to one of her friends. Your heart dropped at the sight of her in that black dress. You almost wanted to turn around and leave rather than run the risk of saying something you know you shouldn’t.

When she looked like that you knew you probably would.

The opportunity disappeared when she looked up and met your eyes across the yard. You took a steadying breath and made your way over to her, listening to her excuse herself from the other person. “Hey. You look lovely.” You said with a small smile, hoping that even if it was just for a night, everything would be okay.

The storm in her eyes seemed more subdued. Maybe you’d be able to stay afloat. “Thank you, Y/n. You look… nice as well.” The small smile and compliment she returned nearly sent you into shock.

“Happy birthday.” You offered her the wrapped package timidly. You ignored the small tingles that arose on your skin from where her fingers brushed.

The intricate design on the front of the gift appeared as Leigh slowly tore away the wrapping paper. “Is this what I think it is?” She asked quietly as she turned the book over in her hands.

You nervously rubbed your forehead. “It’s okay if you don’t like it. I just figured since In Time of Daffodils is your favorite poem, it’d be nice to have a first edition. Which, thinking back now, was kind of ridiculous since I’m sure you have a copy already and-”

Your rambling was brought to an abrupt halt when you felt Leigh’s arms wrap around your waist as she pulled you into a gentle embrace.

Despite everything in your mind telling you to leave, you couldn’t help but melt into her as your hands hovered tentatively over her waist. “Y/n. I love it. This might be one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone’s ever given me. I can't believe you remembered my favorite poem.”

The smile on your face was inevitable when she spoke to you like that. "Of course I remember." You mumbled softly. When she stayed in your arms, you allowed your hands rested lightly over the middle of her back.

You could feel your heartbeat racing in your chest when you felt her arms tighten around you.

“Hey, lovebirds. Break it up. You’re not in Leigh’s room yet.” Jules joked in passing as she made her way over to the snack table.

As if coming to her senses, Leigh abruptly stepped back and tossed the book on the table like it had burned her. The storm in her eyes was back in full force. You mentally cursed Jules. “I’m going to go mingle. Enjoy the party, Y/n.” Before you could say anything, she had rushed off.

All you could do was breathe out a heavy sigh as you rubbed a hand down your face. You looked around the party and recognized a few acquaintances, but no one you could actually talk to. They were all Leigh’s friends. Jules was your only other friend there, but you didn’t think you could handle the teasing.

With nothing else to do, you picked up the book Leigh had carelessly thrown aside and began reading. You just needed to pass the time until Wanda arrived.

You were lost in one of the poems in the book when you heard the volume of the white noise around you shift, almost like everyone began talking all at once. You decided to ignore it.

“Hi.” You heard a quiet voice say by your side.

That voice. The one that had begun to infiltrate your dreams. Your head shot up as your eyes met the sparkling emeralds before you. “Wanda.” You breathed out happily as you gently placed the book to the side.

She’s a dream that keeps coming back and I don’t think I ever want to wake up. You thought to yourself dazedly.

The corners of Wanda’s lips turned up in a genuine smile. A subtle hitch of her breath caught your attention. “Y/n.” Before you could even process what you were doing, you leaped in her arms. The sound of her surprised laughter filled the air around you as her arms pulled you closer.

“Happy birthday. I missed you.” You said into her shoulder, allowing yourself to relish in her touch.

In response Wanda buried her face in the crook of your neck, her lips lightly brushing your skin as she spoke. “I missed you too.” The warmth of her breath fanning across your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

I think this is happiness. Was the only thought in your mind as you remained wrapped in her embrace. You could feel Wanda shiver as her arms tightened around you.

Eventually Wanda pulled away and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of emptiness. “You look beautiful.” You said sincerely, allowing your thoughts to escape the confines of your mind for once.

Wanda ducked her head bashfully. “Thank you. You look quite beautiful yourself.” Your cheeks burned with her words.

Reaching into your jacket pocket you pulled out a small, neatly wrapped box. “When I saw this, I couldn’t help but think of you.” You explained as you bashfully offered her the box which she shyly accepted.

You watched with bated breath as she opened the box and pulled out the dainty necklace with a small crescent moon attached to the chain. “It reminded me of the night we spent at your spot. When we looked at the stars.” You added after a moment of silence, feeling your nerves build the longer she went without saying a word.

“Y/n. It’s beautiful. I love it.” Wanda finally said as gaze shifted to meet yours. There were constellations in her eyes. Your heart thudded heavily against your chest at the sight. “Can you help me put it on?”

Wordlessly you took the necklace from her hand and moved to stand behind her. Your breath became heavy when she pushed her hair to the side. You clasped the necklace and quickly moved to stand in front of her again. “Beautiful.” She blushed.

The rest of the night was much easier to get through with Wanda by your side and the hours passed by in a blur. “So, what exactly is it you do?” You asked with a quirked brow. “I mean, I know you get sent crazy places, but you always avoid saying what you do exactly.”

Wanda shifted uncomfortably at the question which you didn’t understand. “Oh. I do humanitarian work.” She began to play with her fingers which you now knew was a nervous habit. “With a really obscure company.”

You could sense that she was desperate for you to drop the subject, you just didn’t understand why. “Okay, Wanda.” You couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that she didn’t want to tell you whatever it was she was hiding.

There was a brief moment of silence. “You know, I hadn’t acknowledged my birthday since I lost Pietro. I expected this night to be so hard.” Wanda admitted suddenly, her eyes clouding over.

You took her hand in yours. “We celebrate him today too, Wanda. Even if he’s not here with you now. He’s here.” You pointed to the center of her chest with your free hand, “And here.” Your pointer finger lightly tapped her temple. “And he always will be.”

A shaky breath escaped her lips and your heart hurt for the woman before you. “I know. I miss him. Everyday. Especially on days like today.” You squeezed her hand lightly in comfort. “But being here with you made today a little easier.”

“I know there’s nothing I could say that could ever fix the hurt, but I’m here for you.” You told her quietly. “You deserve the world, Wanda.”

A small smile formed on her lips, “Thank you. Hopefully we’ll see it together.” Wanda’s eyes widened slightly as if she wasn’t meant to say that out loud. You heart fluttered.

Almost immediately she ducked her head, her hair falling gracefully in her face. You reached a hand out to gently brush away a piece of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes.

Your hand lingered as your thumb lightly caressed her jaw. Wanda leaned into the touch, her eyes fluttering.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to kiss her. How can I be just friends with someone who I want to kiss? You thought to yourself as you became lost in her eyes. Wanda’s cheeks flushed as she raised her hand to rest over yours.

Her lips parted slightly, and your eyes were almost immediately drawn to the action. Your breathing became more ragged as you fought against every instinct to stop yourself from leaning in and feeling her soft lips against your own.

Am I dreaming or is she leaning in? You wondered in disbelief.

“Alright, sis! Time to sing happy birthday!” Leigh interrupted with a clap of her hands. Both you and Wanda sprung apart, matching blushes on each of your cheeks.

Your brow furrowed at the overdramatic smile on Leigh’s face. It was obviously fake and being fake was so out of character for her. “Looks like the spotlight is calling, birthday girl.” You whispered in Wanda’s ear with a playful smile.

A quiet laugh fell from her lips as she met your eyes. “Looks like it.” She bit her lip shyly. “To be continued?”

Your body vibrated with excitement. “To be continued.” You promised.

Leigh took Wanda by the hand and dragged her away just as she opened her mouth to respond. You could see Leigh’s jaw was clenched from where you stood.

A moment later everyone in the yard was singing to the two women and you couldn’t, for the life of you, tear your eyes away from Wanda and the way she shifted uncomfortably under the all attention she was receiving.

When her eyes met yours, her shoulders visibly relaxed and you played up the way you were singing in hopes of easing her discomfort. The smile that overcame her features made making a fool of yourself in front of all of Leigh’s snobby friends more than worth it.

As you were making your way over to Wanda after the cake had been distributed, you saw Leigh storms off out of the corner of your eye. You worriedly watched her disappear into the house.

“Hey, do you mind if I go check on Leigh? She looked upset.” You asked Wanda when you were finally stood in front of her.

Wanda shook her head with a small smile. “Not at all. I’ll go talk to Jules while I wait.”

You easily returned her smile. “I’ll be back.” You assured her as you turned to head inside, following the path you had seen just seen Leigh take.

When you walked into the kitchen you saw Leigh slam a bowl into the sink, the glass shattering on impact. Your eyes widened in concern. “Leigh!” Instead of answering, she took a plate and threw it into the sink as well, the shattered pieces mingling with the fragments of the bowl. You rushed over to her as she picked up another plate. “Leigh, stop.” You took her hands and gently pulled her away from the sink.

Her breathing was shallow, and her jaw remained clenched angrily, but no words left her lips. “Look, I know today is hard for you.” You began cautiously.

Leigh ripped her hands away from yours. “You don’t know anything.”

“Let me help.” The words bordered on pleading as you could see that all her defenses were up.

“I don’t need your help. You can’t do anything for me.”

Going against your better judgement, you continued. “I know you’re suffering, Leigh, and I know that you feel suffering is all you are but you’re more than that-”

Her words were so faint you could barely hear them. “Stop.”

“It can be a part of who you are, but don’t let the pain push away the people who care about you.”

“STOP!”

You recoiled in surprise, taking an involuntary step back. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help.”

Leigh pushed a frustrated hand through her hair. “Well you’re not helping! Stop trying to fix me!”

“I’m not trying to fix you, Leigh.” You insisted as you took a cautious step forward.

“You are though!” Her eyes were wide with fury.

The last thing you wanted was to make her feel like she needed to be fixed. You just wanted to help ease her pain. “I really wasn’t, Leigh. I was worried, and I wanted to see if there was something I could do to-”

“You’re pathetic! I just use you and you keep coming back.” A dark chuckle fell from her lips. You flinched. “I’m not yours! I was never yours and I will never be yours! I’m never going to want you back so just stop!”

There was a heavy silence in the air as Leigh’s chest heaved from the force of her words. It was a low blow and she knew it. You’ve had plenty of experience being burned by Leigh’s words, but this time felt different though. It was final. She finally said how she truly felt. You were done avoiding that.

You schooled your features and nodded slightly. “Okay. I’m sorry. Have a good rest of your night, Leigh. Happy birthday.”

Leigh was a hurricane, what more did you expect than to be caught in the downpour?

“Y/n-” You left before she could say another word, so you didn’t see the way her face dropped as tears welled in her eyes.

If Wanda wasn’t still there you would have left and never looked back, but you knew you couldn’t leave her without an explanation. In a useless attempt to gather your emotions, you paused before entering the backyard and took a deep breath, clearing your mind.

The sight of Wanda’s smile brought you a small sense of peace, but it couldn’t take away from the fact that your precariously healed wounds had been ripped open. Ashes within yourself had been set ablaze in anguish once again. You needed to tend to the flames on your own.

“Hey.” You softly called, your hand on her elbow. She turned from Jules who quietly excused herself. “I'm sorry, but I have to go. I’m not feeling well.”

Wanda’s brows furrowed, and her eyes filled with worry. You mentally cursed yourself because you knew she didn’t buy it. “Are you okay?”

You nodded in hopes of reassuring her, your lips quirking up halfheartedly. “I really am not feeling well.” Which wasn’t entirely a lie. “Do you maybe want to do something this week though?”

The worry never faded from her eyes as she nodded faintly. “That sounds great, Y/n.”

“Perfect. I’ll call you. Happy birthday, Wanda. I hope it was a good one.” You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, smiling slightly at the blush that was left in your wake.

Wanda began fidgeting with her fingers. “It was. Bye, Y/n.” She said shyly as you walked away. When you had disappeared out of view, Wanda turned to face the house. If something had happened with you, she figured she should check on Leigh. She was her sister after all.

When Wanda entered the kitchen, she found Leigh leaning against the counter, her face buried in her hands. Wanda knocked lightly on the wall to get her attention. “Hey, Leigh. Are you okay?’

Leigh’s head shot up, her posture relaxing slightly when she saw it was Wanda. “Why? What did Y/n say?”

Wanda blinked in surprise. “Nothing. I just wanted to check on you.”

A smile that didn’t reach her eyes formed on Leigh’s face. “Right. Well, I’m fine.”

“Okay, I just wanted to check.” Wanda eyed Leigh skeptically but didn’t push. “I think I’m going to head home, it’s been a long day. Thank you for inviting me. I had fun.” Leigh just nodded as Wanda began to exit the kitchen.

“Hey, Wanda?” Leigh called. Wanda stopped and turned to face Leigh, her eyebrows raised in question. “Look, we’re sisters now, right?”

Hesitantly Wanda nodded, unsure of where Leigh was going with her words. “Yes…”

Leigh shifted slightly. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Of course. What is it?” Wanda worriedly walked over to the other side of the counter, so she was face to face with Leigh.

There was a brief moment of silence before Leigh met Wanda’s eyes again. “I need you to stay away from Y/n.”

The surprise of the statement made Wanda laugh. Her laughter quickly faded away when she realized Leigh wasn’t joking. “You can’t be serious.”

Leigh rubbed at her temple, avoiding her twin's gaze. “I am. I need you to stay away from Y/n.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” Wanda eventually replied, her head tilted slightly. Leigh’s eyes hardened when she met Wanda's determined stare.

And we have concluded part 3! Chaos has ensued. Thank you all so much for all the positive feedback this story has been getting! I hope you all enjoy this part just as much. Are we team Leigh or team Wanda? I would love to read your thoughts!

As always thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

Tag list: @khiaraaa-in-spacee // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @halobaby //@madamevirgo

// @aimezvousbrahms //@trikruismybitch // @marvels-writings

// @izalesbean // @imdreamingblo // @i-choose-you-cyndaquil

// @helloalycia // @scarlets-maximoff //@cantcontroltheirfear // @women-am-i-right //@funnysoldier //@myfavoriteficss //@imapotatao

[vicmeep]

For awhile I wanted to force myself to write and draw certain characters from things I wanna make.

Outside of my bunni and other sonas, I wanted to draw characters from my writing like this most recent story I wanna release I started making back in November of 2021.

Or from this video game I wanna...make one day, and the Rebellions.

I tried forcing myself to. Attempting to make a chapter 2 of the video game story months ago despite ...the pain and bad memory that kept popping into my head from my teen years because of some scumbag.

Began writing the newer story and recently was trying to force myself to write the final (kinda) draft of the Rebellions but barely got anything down.

I had art ideas for a while for all of them especially the video game one and the Rebellions but like I said.. with the video game one, the one bad memory and only today there was a part of me after seeing my older brother's posts, that was like "we should do it now!"

Why now AFTER he said that?

I didn't plan on giving up at all...I was still thinking about getting a good strong laptop that can handle game development, and writing and drawing the concepts and characters. Even wanting to make an animatic for a while as a vent with the main character.

Almost everyday despite the bad... looping memories, I still think about my work and things I wanna make with them. Art concepts, concepts for the game, for the stories.

Stuff like that makes me wanna hurt myself. That I allowed people to taint things. Something I broke down about last year to my older brother, when I never doubted myself before even back then when this situation happened, but only did last year.

It also makes me feel selfish and even more mean...

Idk...

I can't do anything right...