#because like i certainly dont wanna be perceived as typically feminine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewhizzyhead · 9 months ago

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anyways on this episode of izzy's gender fuckery crisis we have this update: oki so like being referred to as a girl and solely a girl and being forced to be feminine because "syempre babae ka kailangan ka maging babae (ofc since u r a girl u have to act like one)" irritates me to death. Other modes of feminine presentation aka skirts and dresses and anything that makes me appear too much of a feminine person also legitimately SCARES ME TO DEATH especially when I'm forced to do so.

however, that being said, upon further introspection on the chick i once really really liked that is now presenting more masc than ever, I have realised that I am not too comfy presenting myself as too masc either. like, I don't want people to look at me and perceive me as a duuuuude , but I don't want to present myself too femininely either as it legitimately makes my skin crawl. like, I find myself comfy in men's clothes and styling but if I imagine/see myself presenting way too much like a man, then I feel very weird and not in a good way - which is weird kasi I thought I would like being more masc presenting given my absolute panic attack-inducing aversion to appearing typically feminine. So anyways the gist is androgyny is my best friend and I would rather be perceived as a blob than as a specific gender

#like fjdj LOOK THIS STARTED WITH TWO THINGS:#a.) the chick i once really liked becoming more masc leaning by the hour #and b.) eloise davies. please do visit her instagram and you'll see what i mean #so like i've figured out my type and its once-femme-presenting women embracing more of their masc side #but while looking at eloise's insta page i thought to myself: oki so like eloise's clothing style screams comfort to you #but do you wanna dress like them in public though #like do i want the world to perceive me as more masc #because like i certainly dont wanna be perceived as typically feminine #so like shouldn't i be more comfy and more accepting of myself if i stylized myself more masculinely and everything #and um the answer to that is no because i feel weird either way like fjdnd #its like i look into the mirrors with both versions on display and yet both say the same thing: this isn't you #like its like id rather not have my gender perceived...at all. like i just want people to ignore that shit when they see me #like just perceive me for what i choose to highlight - my traits and whatnot- but ignore the ones i dont deem too important to who i am #i may be rambling rn but its just because I LEGIT DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE EVEN TO MY IRL FRIENDS #bECAUSE I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND THIS GENDER CRISIS ON MY OWN LIKE fjdjd i dont know what i want #other than just being perceived as a living organism that does not give a fuck about gender #and would rather not be bound by the constraints and expectations that come with compliance #anyways i hope this made sense esp to my fellow gender crisis fuckery bros because like. tbh i kinda need solidarity here kasi #i cant understand shit gjcjd #personal shit

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