#because kurt vs rachel is also iconic

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981

The X-Men, those back-to-the-future mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 141 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Brent Anderson, Dave Cockrum, Jim Sherman, Bob McLeod and Josef Rubinstein

While I also committed various fashion atrocities at the age of 14 (tye-die and fauxhawks, oh my), even Liberace would find Kitty’s outfits too much. (Uncanny X-Men 149; Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘81)

We dial back from the v. epic scope of the last few arcs. Instead, 1981 is just a lot of fun! We get:

Storm and Emma doing a Freaky Friday!

the X-Men vs. Magneto (again!)

A surprisingly effective Alien rip-off

An dystopian future! (OoOoOoOo)

Last year was the year of the Dark Phoenix, this is the year of Kitty Pryde. That’s not to say Jean’s death is swept under the rug: all throughout, we see her friends mourning her loss or remembering her fondly. (Scott even gets to have a demonic adventure about it.) But in general, Claremont puts Kitty in the forefront, fleshing out his YA-addition to the team. And what would a YA heroine be without a grim dystopia? Roll out the iconic Days of Future Past!

To be fair, 2013 was a dark time for all of us: What Does the Fox Say somehow got to the top of the charts and I was still watching Glee. (Uncanny X-Men 141)

How cool would it have been to see a name like Jonothon Starsmore or Eva Bell on those tombstones?

Anyway, that’s Kate. Kate’s had it rough. Mutants are at the bottom of the foodchain, most X-Men are dead and only a small cadre of resistance fighters remain, Sentinels dominate, and while she is married to Piotr, her children have been murdered. Bleak. Luckily, the rebellion has concocted the plan to shunt Kate’s spirit back in time to prevent this awful future from happening. (You’ve seen Days of Future Past, the last passably good X-Men film, you know what’s up.)

Let’s do the time warp again! 1981!Kitty’s mind gets taken over by 2013!Kitty, who promptly tries to convince the X-Men that a new Brotherhood of v. Evil Mutants will try to kill Senator Kelly, a presidential candidate who tries to put the mutant menace on the agenda. (Mutants tend to blow stuff up when he’s around.) Since the X-Men recently took a literal trip to Dante’s Infero and also befriended a cosmic world-ending entity, they basically shrug and go: “Yeah, this checks out.”

Off to Washington they go (zoommm) and there, they happen upon the Baddest Bitches in Herstory:

“How dare you hate mutants, senator Kelly! We’ll fix that by killing you!” (Uncanny X-Men 141)

This All-New, All-Different Brotherhood consists out of:

Destiny, a blind woman who can see the future. Definitely the eeriest member of this group. Badass lesbian, though that won´t be canon for years.

Avalanche. Greek who makes things shake. Is a long-standing member of the X-Men Rogue’s gallery, but rarely features in the spotlight. I think he got more characterization in four years of X-Men Evolution than he ever did in the comics.

Mystique. Shapeshifter. Ruthless and unhinged, the Cersei Lannister of the X-Men universe. Absolute legend, secretly the wife of Destiny, currently not as unhinged as she’ll be later. Immediately implied to be related to Nightcrawler: it’s the yellow-eyes-blue-skin-combo.

Pyro. Can manipulate fire, not create it. Absolute pillock, in all the best ways of the word. Originally intended as gay, but they decided to make him Australian instead. (?!)

Blob. Big, strong, immovable. We’ve seen him before.

One of the details in this fight I enjoy is that Storm is still struggling with her leadership, although she has a better grip on things than Cyclops:

Wolverine then proceeds to use those iconic but deadly claws about twice per issue for the next, oh, forty years. (Uncanny X-Men 142)

While the X-Men fight the Brotherhood in the present, we cut back and forth to the future. There, the X-Men consist out of some familiar faces - Storm, Colossus, Wolverine - and some surprises: Magneto (in a wheelchair), Franklin Richards (son of) and an unfamiliar ginger girl called Rachel. (She’ll be important later.) We even learn (one of) Magneto’s names: this is the first time he’s canonically called Magnus.

One of the strengths of Days of Future Past lies in its brevity, the way it tantalizingly taunts us with a brutal but familiar future without giving away too much. It’s single-handedly responsible for all those dark future timelines the X-lines are so fond of which will eventually culminate in time-displaced grandsons from alternative dimensions and the impossibility of a succinct answer to the question: “Who’s Cable?” Too much of a good thing and all that.

Still, what Days of Future Past does so successfully is:

Put the idea of the mutant menace back at the forefront, hammering home the metaphor of mutants being a minority. Mutants being put in camps and being forbidden to breed should - regretfully - make us think of all too many real life equivalents. (Specifically, all of the imagery harkens back to the Holocaust.)

It starkly shows what happens should the X-Men lose, reminding everyone of the stakes. The X-Men are here for a reason: bridging the gap between mutants and humankind. If they fuck up, we end up with mutant concentration camps.

It helps that the X-Men in the future almost all die horribly: Franklin is incinerated, Storm is impaled… It's brutal stuff. The only one to survive is Rachel, who wonders if their plan actually changed the future or if they created an alternative timeline. (It did the latter, sorry ‘bout it, Rachel.)

In the present, Kate chases after Destiny, who trains a gun on senator Kelly. I always wondered how this works: if Destiny saw the future, she knew that killing Kelly would trigger a terrifying future. What in the current Marvel timeline made her decide that the Days of Future Past was better? Did she see her own death? Did she see the Onslaught-crossover coming? The Chuck Austen run? What was it?

In any case, time-anomalous Kate stops Destiny from killing Kelly and the future is safe! For now. Kate disappears, Kitty returns to her body and some of the Brotherhood are apprehended. All is well, for now.

After being a key figure in DoFP, Kitty is also the main character in the Christmas special, which is basically a straight up horror and a pastiche of the Alien-movie.

Seriously, John Byrne still isn’t sure why he wasn’t sued by Ridley Scott for this. (Uncanny X-Men 143)

If you love Kitty Pryde? Read this issue. If you’re not convinced you like 80’s Kitty? Read this issue. It’s not continuity relevant and it’s basically Kitty playing the part of a Final Girl in a horror where she’s being chased by a demon, but it’s so good. It showcases all her strengths and her foibles. Kitty’s intelligent, cute (sometimes preciously so) and brave, but she’s also young, self-conscious and hot-headed. And it's not as if the other X-Men automatically adore her: Storm berates her all the time, she’s afraid of Kurt because of the way he looks (though she grows out of that) and she fights with Professor Xavier a lot. Moreover, she has a clever power-set for a young superhero who faces menaces on a daily basis: a thirteen year old who can go intangible is far less likely to have reality ensue on her and be dramatically offed because she's better at protecting herself.

I’m sure there are people who thought Sprite was hogging the spotlight, but I, for one, say she brings more to the table than, say, Angel. She’s not the Dawn Summers of this franchise.

Scott also gets a side quest. Poor guy can’t catch a break: first the love of his life dies, so he quits the X-Men, then he realizes he can’t do much else than be a superhero. He becomes a sailor on the ship of spunky captain Lee Forrester, is drawn into the sadistic plans of a demon unironically named D’Spayre and then shipwrecks in Bermuda with Lee.

The X-Men, meanwhile, are tormented by a team-up of Doom (who’s currently Latverialess and working on a comeback) and Arcade, that annoying crony. Locke, Arcade’s dom, has kidnapped the loved ones of the X-Men (Moira MacTaggart, Jean Grey’s parents, Illyana Rasputin and Amanda Sefton) in order to blackmail them into getting Doom to free Arcade. Apparently, Arcade accidentally insulted Doom and DOOM DOES NOT FORGIVE THAT FOLLY.

While the B-Squad (Polaris, Havok, Banshee and Iceman) goes to save Arcade’s hostages, the X-Men sneak into Doom’s castle. Well, except for Storm, who doesn’t give a single fuck and simply flies up to Doom, demanding an audience. Doom likes the cut of her jib and invites her to have dinner. (This is pre-Tinder, so this is a legit way of scoring a date.)

If Storm has a flaw (I said if!), it’s got to be her atrocious taste in men. (Uncanny X-Men 145)

The X-Men find Arcade’s cell empty, while Arcade casually saunters up to Storm and says hi. Storm realizes too late that this is a trap: while the X-Men are all trapped in Saw-like traps, Storm is encased in ‘living chrome’.

If you remember she’s claustrophobic, you know why this is a bad move.

While the X-Men free themselves from their traps - Polaris hilariously has to deal with a murderous merry-go-round - Storm is slowly driven mad in her prison, triggering a worldwide tempest. (She causes Lee and Scott to shipwreck.) Under the threat of Wolverine’s claws, Doom releases Storm - or rather, unleashes her.

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!” (Uncanny X-Men 147)

The memory of Jean brings Ororo back to herself and she starts undoing the superstorm she created. (If only climate change were reversed that easily.) Their confrontation ends by Storm easily forgiving Doom, because she apparently trespassed on his grounds without adequate cause.

Mkay.

All of Arcade’s hostages return to their homesteads, except for Illyana Rasputin, Piotr’s sister: she’s staying at the mansion for a while. Angel, who’s sort of been a part of the team since the Phoenix thing, has had it with Wolverine and his ‘tude, and decides to quit the X-Men : he doesn’t want to be a part of an outfit that has a killer like Wolverine on it. (Or maybe he’s just mad Claremont didn’t give him any storylines: his presence has been mostly pointless.) It’s too bad he left before Kitty started experimenting with her outfits: I bet he would have loved her ugly-ass costumes.

Equally inconsequential is the introduction of a brand new character, who then proceeds to disappear from the narrative for the rest of the year:

Black Tom has tried to kill you at least twice, but him sending you a long-lost daughter doesn’t give you pause? Ugh, Sean, you deserve Moira. (Uncanny X-Men 148)

Intrigued by Theresa? TOO BAD, WON’T SEE HER AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.

Another new character is the lonely, decidedly mutant looking Caliban, who can sense “people like him” and is on the lookout for companions. Like many lonely people who try and grasp at friendship, he decides to overshoot his shot and ruin the night of Storm, Kitty and Jessica Drew at a Dazzler concert. Because he tries to kidnap Kitty, the girls react a trifle aggressively. When they realize their mistake - the eerily pale Caliban is a simpleton rather than a menace - he’s already fled. No mention is made of the Morlocks yet!

There’s also another dull annual where the X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four to save Arkon’s dimension from the Badoon and yaaaaawn. Far more interesting is the landmark issue #150. Slowly, through the adventures of Scott and Lee Forrester, Claremont has been setting things up for the return of a favorite villain. While the X-Men investigate Magneto’s old base in Antarctica on a hunch of Professor X and tangle with Garruk, Scott and Lee survive Storm’s tempest, only to wake up next to a strange island that seems to have been raised from the ocean.

It’s apparently some ancient citadel from a long forgotten civilization with a fondness for squid statues. (I don’t know man, I’ve never been to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe this is just super-accurate.)The tentacles make Lee Forrester feel very amorous, but before Scott can tell her he is way too repressed to just have sex with an attractive someone he’s known intimately for a month or two, Magneto saves his ass by revealing he, in fact, raised this island from the seafloor.

Oh, Magneto. So extra.

My ambitious little mutant demagogue then proceeds to take the entire world hostage, showing how much he’s grown from the pompous, raving madman from the sixties. (Sure, Magneto is still a bit of a madman, but increasingly, he starts being on the right side of history.)

“I’m trying to make Magneto more sympathetic.”

“Just put him on a page with some bigger villains who are less noble, like the Vanisher, Count Nefaria, or…”

“Reagan, Thatcher and Brezhnov?”

“Er.” (Uncanny X-Men 150)

It’s obvious Magneto is being pivoted as a more noble villain, codified into the well-intentioned extremist we know and love today. Not only do we get the first hints at his past, fleshing out his motivations, he’s also not wrong. Humans are historically not great at taking care of the planet or each other.

When the Russians call his bluff and launch nukes at Magneto’s new island, he quickly disarms them. His retribution is swift and ferocious: the entire citadel is a machine that massively amplifies his powers. He sinks the submarine that launched the missiles, condemning the entire crew to death, and he casually erects a vulcano in a Russian city in Siberia.

Damn. Not messing around this time.

Despite his good intentions, Magneto is still definitely in the wrong: not only because of his methods, but as Scott points out: if Magneto unifies the world under his kind of benevolent dictatorship, all of that will simply fall apart as soon as Magnus dies.

In a way, Magneto is just as big a dreamer as Charles is: Charles believes in peace and integration, whereas Magneto believes his iron fist will be enough to make a perfect world happen. Both of them ignore the reality that acceptance is difficult and messy, because you’re trying to change essential human nature: the fear of the other. Magneto believes in big, sweeping gestures that will fix the world in move, while changing the world is also boring, hard work. One step forward, two steps back. Magneto just wants to leapfrog to his ultimate goal.

The X-Men fly over the citadel, returning from Antarctica, and their plane crashes into the ocean. (Magneto does not brook planes over his territory, humans!) The Professor is also nearby, looking for Scott with Moira, Peter Corbeau and Carol Danvers. The X-Men sneak onto the island, but to their horror, their powers are nullified by some machine of Magneto. They reunite with Scott, who formulates a plan to thwart the would-be ruler of the world.

While the rest of the X-Men go to trash the machine, Storm, Kitty and Lee infiltrate the control chamber where Storm finds a sleeping, shirtless Magneto. Once again showing her terrible taste in men, she is not weak in the knees at the sight of a sleeping Magnus: instead, she contemplates killing him.

Storm knows how dangerous he is, but she also knows that he’s a great man who’s fighting for ideals, no matter how misguided. She hesitates too long: Magneto stirs, suspects an attack and tosses her out of the window, to her death.

Magneto quickly undoes the sabotage the other X-Men have wrought to his machine. A fight erupts. Storm, meanwhile, has managed to grab hold of a ledge. She crawls back up and smashes an important-looking computer, restoring everyone’s powers.

The battle turns grim, but Scott sends Kitty away to wreck Magneto’s machinery. She sneaks off, following Scott’s orders and destroying both Magneto's power-up device and all of his plans by phasing though the computer circuitry. Magneto senses this and furiously gives chase. Overcome by rage, he attacks Kitty and disrupts her phasing power with a magnetic bolt, seemingly killing her?

Everything about this story beat is great: mama bear!Ororo, mournful Magnus and even the fact that Kitty’s godawful outfit serves a narrative function: highlighting to us (and Magneto) just how young she is. The fact that Kitty’s Jewish is just icing on the cake. (Uncanny X-Men 150)

And thus, the softening of Magneto commences. 1981 might be a year with wildly varying narratives, but it has given us at least three enduring legacies to the X-Mythos: a new kind of Magneto, a fondness for dystopian futures and the character of Kitty Pryde, who's really come into her own this year.

Ugliest Costume: Kitty! Purposefully, but still. Best costume, by the way, goes to Destiny, with her creepy, creepy golden mask. Just imagine this lady casually strolling across a battlefield, eerily calm and collected, dodging everything you throw at her. Awesome design.

Best new character: I usually pick one character - what good is having a shared award when declaring the best of anything? - but this year, it’s going to one of my favorite couples: Mystique and Destiny. Can’t wait to see more of them.

Most audacious retcon: Blob somehow retroactively becomes a member of the original Brotherhood, which is not what happened. Ever weirder is Xavier pondering that he never met Magneto before his attack in X-Men #1, while their cordially adversarial relationship rooted in a youthful friendship would soon become a cornerstone of the X-Men.

What to read: Uncanny X-Men 141 - 143 and 150 - 152

[angelhummel]

Honestly Brittany is underhated in my opinion lmao. Like I was literally waiting for ages for someone to make a negative thread about I am unicorn on reddit so I could hate on her. Last time someone made a thread about that episode said "Kurt was an asshole to yell at Brittany. He could have kindly explained to her to remove the posters" like he did? But Brittany went to ahead and hung the posters anyway. :/

Oh hey we just watched that ep! And I hated it! I don't know if I'd call it the worse episode, but it made me more uncomfortable than Asian F and Pot o Gold, which we watched right after. Like I've never had that bad a reaction to that ep before but wow

KURT: Look, I don’t just want to be know has Kurt Hummel: Homo.

BRITTANY: What’s wrong with that? Look - 99% of the kids at school are either freaks or closet freaks. The captain of the football squad - he gets the job, but he doesn’t represent the people. That’s why we need a unicorn.

My sister asked me if I agreed with that sentiment (being sure to say "If it wasn't Brittany saying it, how would you feel?" bc that makes a difference lol) and my response was "What did she say? I just tune her out now"

I mean obviously the sentiment isn't wrong. How often do we say that almost any one of the glee clubbers would be a better leader or representative than flop hudson. I just feel like Brittany is feeding into a larger problem that I have with season 3 in regards to Kurt

Which is just how they make so many jokes about Kurt being more flamboyant and girly than he actually is. Rachel saying she wants to see Kurt in a bridesmaid’s dress. Finn saying "What's with the sparkly jacket i thought you were kurt" but then he also has a comment in s2 about "sequined riding pants". but when has kurt ever wore sequins or sparkles outside of mercedes's dreamgirls fantasy number?? and having actual adults talk about how he isn't sexy enough (call the police) and laughing him out of an audition bc he's sooo fucking gay ha ha. i kinda talk about it here if you wanna read more unrelated angry rambling

Anyway all that to say. Kurt is not straight passing! He doesn’t need to be! He’s bold, theatrical, he loves fashion, he loves Broadway, and that’s great! But the pink sparkly unicorn stuff is something Brittany tried to force on him.

Kurt loves Judy Garland. He wanted to pay tribute to her with his campaign posters, hearkening back to her Blackglama fur coat ad. Something that references a beloved icon of the queer community, and fashion history at the same time. Two things that are very Kurt

But with Brittany, all nuance and clever reference is gone. She puts ruby slippers in the goody bag, just because they’re sparkly and flamboyant. They reference Judy in the most cliche and obvious way possible. Even if someone wants to claim it was her own version of a clever reference, she still has more pointless stuff in there as well. Unicorns, a teletubby, hair bands?? What does any of this have to do with Kurt or what he likes or represents?

And obviously there is nothing wrong with being the most flamboyant gay person you want to be. Pink and sparkles and rainbows obviously aren’t bad on their own. Not trying to sound like the shitty old “Gay people I respect vs gay people I don’t respect” meme. It’s just. Every gay person is more than their sexuality. No matter how flamboyant they are, how they dress, how many rainbows they wanna slap on everything. That’s still a whole person. Just bc all YOU see is a giant rainbow flag, that doesn’t mean that’s all they are

Brittany thinks being gay is nothing but pink unicorns and rainbow glitter. How is that any different from the shit Karofsky or Azimio or any other bully says about Kurt?? At the end of the day it’s just someone trying to cram him in a tiny little box that he is far too big, too bold, too nuanced to fit into 

I mean god fucking forbid, but imagine if Brittany was “helping” Mercedes run for president like this. Telling her that being black should be her main personality trait, and filling a goody bag with items that are Brittany’s idea of what being “black” means to HER 💀💀 (I mean anybody with common sense could see it was insane, but her stans would react the same way and make Mercedes the bad guy when she reacted poorly bc what else is new lol)

And all her dumbass unicorn talk literally made Kurt start to dislike that part of himself! Like he’s always been bullied for it but he was still unapologetically himself. But Brittany’s campaign idea contributed to Kurt thinking he needed to change himself, and saying he was tired of being a unicorn. And in s3 he starts wearing more drab colors and all these sweaters and capes and he’s bundling himself up like he’s protecting himself and it makes me sad. And they bring in a completely new character that looks like Kurt just to call Kurt ugly and a girl and make fun of him. It drives me up a fucking wall! Season 3 is so awful to Kurt i literally can’t stand it. And it all starts with Brittany :) Thanks for that. Girl power!

And after dealing with the pain and humiliation of literally being laughed out of an audition BY MEMBERS OF THE FACULTY for being “too gay” Kurt is faced with the bright pink unicorn posters with his face on him that say “This is your box! This is all you will ever be!” and wow i can’t imagine why he’d be upset with Brittany for that!! Who’da thunk??? Brittany was a selfish idiot for hanging them up. Kurt had every right to be upset. And Santana was an idiot for invalidating Kurt’s feelings and just boosting Brittany up when she was obviously in the wrong. But that’s Br*ttana for you :)

I’m not even happy about Kurt “accepting” the posters and hanging them up himself and making that his campaign theme. That’s the version of Kurt that someone else made up in their head. That’s not him. He is so much more than Brittany’s tiny little brain could ever even comprehend lol. So yeah. I hate her :)

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot)

Sung by: Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson w/New Directions Original Artist: Journey

Here we go - the first time we see Glee’s most iconic performance number.  And unlike a good half of you (and half the cast) I still really, really love this song and this performance.  I’ll be honest with you - the Pilot of the show didn’t do much for me, but the first time I heard this - I got chills.  This arrangement is fantastic.  The kids are so earnest here.  And it’s the first time I sat up and thought - oh, this is going to be good... 

The funny thing about this number is that it is rough, in a way.  These kids definitely look (more than they sound) like novices.  And while infamously show choreographer Zach Woodlee had a tough time of getting these non-dancing kids to move together - I think the roughness of the these kids just having fun and coming together to make a good number really is the heart of what this show is about.  Connecting to each other through song -- even if they don’t dance very well, lol. 

It’s kind of hard to articulate why this song resonates the way it does, but there’s a couple of factors going on here.  

First of all, the way the song is written - without getting into the musical theory of it all - it’s meant to evoke that positive dreaming kind of emotion.  The song is about, quite literally, not giving up on yourself, even if your circumstances suck.  And, again, that’s really what’s at the heart of this show.  That these kids, despite the fact that they live in a small town in Ohio, aren’t going to give up on their dreams.  It’s a theme that’s going to carry all the way through the length of the show.  

Secondly, I think the song evokes a strong sense of nostalgia (at least for us older people?).  It’s an 80s power ballad, and thematic for a show that’s steeped in 80s nostalgia.  And while I didn’t go to high school until the late 90s, it still takes me back to being a teenager - when these kinds of songs really emotionally resonated, and I think pairing that feeling with a group of new and earnest kids who are just starting out on their own dreams, really resonates.  

Some interesting things to point out -- 

This song is a New Directions song, but Finn and Rachel take the lead.  This not only to signify that these are the main characters, but to highlight that these characters are going to be in a romantic relationship.  Did you notice that they spend most of their time quite literally dancing around each other? Pulling away and coming back to each other? I’m sure that’s intentional.  

Also their opening lyrics are quite resonant with who Finn and Rachel’s characters are.  Finn is a small town kid, and despite being popular - is a bit lonely and lost.  While Rachel, being a city bound girl, just wants to be where it matters.  And then they find each other - which is really where our story begins. 

Meanwhile, I love Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, (and Artie) in the background.  While Finn and Rachel take the lead - they’re along for the ride - the colorful accents in this story.  I love that each character gets its own style of movement in the song -- especially Kurt, who completely pulls focus.  It’s noticeable (to me) because Kurt is going to end up pulling focus as the story begins to shift from this story of two lonely and sad teenagers falling in love to this strange kid dancing in the background.  

But also, importantly, this is the first group number the kids do.  It’s about them all coming together - all these “strangers” meeting up for the first time and creating something special -- again a theme of the entire show -- and how they’re going to try to make their dreams come true, but can only do so if they rely on the special thing they’ve made together.  

I should note that most of the time I’ve talked about music in the Pilot being used for comedy - but like Rachel and Will’s solo - this song is very much about the emotion it evokes, and that’s purposeful.  This is a real, and full number, because the show wants you feel those real emotions of these kids finally bonding over the music.  

Two more musical asides -- a) this song has a ton of layering of tracks to make it sound fuller.  If it were just the six of them, the sound would be much, much smaller - but maybe not as resonant.  b) You can tell there was choreography but mostly - the kids are a bit stiff because they aren’t dancers, and end up just roaming around the stage.  It’s kind of funny, but works for me, because these kids are not supposed to be professionals.

I also like that their costumes are simple.  I’m not sure if I can go into color theory the way @snarkyhag can (maybe she can shed some light on it!) but the solid colors can mean that they’re stripped down to the basics.  

I should also add that this song is important to Will’s character, too.  This song, evoking memories of his own childhood, and his own dreams, is what brings him back to teaching.  The kids are literally singing about not giving up on their dreams - and Will is very touched by that.  

On top of that - there are deliberate pans to Sue (and Quinn and Santana) and Puck off on the side -- representing the antagonists, and how they’re waiting in the wings for the future stories where they’ll challenges for our characters.  

Fun Fact: There is no such place as South Detroit.  I’ve always joked that South Detroit is Ohio - but according to Journey it’s Windsor Ontario.  And now you know. 

vs. Studio Version: There’s really not much difference between this and the aired version.  There are a couple of extended musical moments in the studio version, but the song is, intentionally, left mostly intact on the show.  Since it’s the final group number - these songs aren’t as cut down as some of the other ones.  

vs. Original Version: Something I didn’t really notice until they’re played side by side, but the original Journey version is much slower and in a lower key. The tempo change might be due to the fact that it’s being used for TV - and TV has time mandates.  The key is probably because the kids needed to singing it higher.  One neat thing to notice - this song is known for its infamous piano chords played at the beginning (and throughout).  In the arrangement for the show - they gave it to the background singers (Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie) for great effect.  

[starpunchsoup]

top 5 glee eps? :)

quick confession before i actually answer this: i actually have a little notecard written with all of my favorite episodes (or ones that just make me really happy i guess) and it’s color coded and it’s a little embarassing just how hard i went on that

ANYWAY LMFAO

5) Blame It On The Alcohol - listen. this episode has a lot of problems. not a huge fan of kurt being defensively biphobic (although it’s not a deal breaker for me - a lot of people REALLY hate that scene and it ruined kurt for them which i can sort of understand but i don’t think it was a huge deal) and. god i kinda hate will’s plot line in this episode LMFAO. the voicemail always makes me die a little bit. HOWEVER - this episode is FUNNY AS HELL. ‘why don’t you crack open a fourloko, count boozy von drunk a ton’ is always a one hit KO for me. sue pushing the aural intensity coach down the stairs is so fucking funny. this episode is honestly mid tier at best, but idk. i think it’s funny and i love seeing kurt pine and the music was super fun and this episode just makes me smile (and i love beiste being there for will!!! i wish beiste would’ve been will’s best person at his wedding instead of finn tbh 👀)

4) The Power of Madonna - this episode is so good!!! i feel like some of the more musical themed episodes fall a little flat on plot, but i adore the plot of this one. and there are some super iconic lines from this one (my growing feminism will slice you in half like a righteous blade of equality! mercedes is black, i’m gay - we make culture). and jesse st james???? like admittedly sometimes he gets on my nerves but he’s actually so genuine in this episode, it’s clear he actually cares about rachel by this point. “come out so we can talk. or at least sing about it.” like yes he’s also a dramatic theatre nerd but that’s always how rachel gets her feelings out so offering to sing about it (i think, at least) is so sweet. also i mean. it’s MADONNA. the music is PHENOMENAL. listening to 4 Minutes genuinely makes me feel like the gina linetti headphones meme. express yourself is so fun and cute. THE VOGUE RECREATION IS SO GOOD AND ICONIC. definitely a comfort episode for me

3) New New York - this episode is a favorite partially because the first time i saw it, i was hanging out with an old friend of mine and while i don’t talk to her at all anymore, whenever i watch this episode i remember being in her room and petting her cat and it was a very good time! but also this is just such a solid episode top to bottom. we see rachel enter queen diva mode yet again, but this time it’s artie who helps her wake up from it which i think was smart and helped make the NYC friend circle feel a little bit more cohesive. also the klaine content! the blam content! the kelliott content! glitter rock vampire!!!!! mercedes showing up at the end!! what’s not to love

2) Never Been Kissed - listen i’m aware i’m a klaine stan first and foremost but that’s actually not the main reason why this is ranked so high. genuinely, it’s the music. this is the ONLY boys vs girls mashup episode where i feel like both teams fucking KILLED IT. every time i watch this episode, i change who i think won. and i know a lot of people hate the original ‘teenage dream’ because yes it is kind of overproduced and it is annoying when the music shows blaine singing two lines at the same time. however - i do not care, that song is so fucking good imo. i really hate the acoustic version in s4 just because it sounds so sad, the context really makes it hard for me to listen to. but blaine singing teenage dream the first time him and kurt meet………poetic cinema!!! i hate the beiste plot point because a. it’s just kind of uncomfortable but b. beiste always deserved better!!!! sometimes i forget that the main plot point IS everyone thinking about beiste because genuinely the music is the main highlight of the ep and i try not to think about how disrespectful that was to one of my fav mckinley faculty members ever

1) Original Song - this will never not be my favorite episode. this episode has EVERYTHING. it’s funny, it’s sad, it’s romantic, it’s awkward, this episode is honestly peak glee to me. season two is probably my favorite season because of that, i feel like the whole season did a very good job of staying in its lane and i love that. i love the sadness of pavarotti dying and santana feeling rejected by brittany, to the absolute hilarity of ‘only child’ and ‘trouty mouth’. i love how this episode flat out has quinn saying “rachel deserved better than to live in lima being stuck by finns side, i’ll take that bullet for her so she can go be a star.” and honestly “get it right” is one of my favorite glee songs ever. when rachel sings “so finally someone will see/how much i care” i literally get goosebumps every single fucking time. also i love how “loser like me” was more of a love song to kurt than it was a ‘fuck you’ to sue? like “i’ll get you back when i’m your boss” i headcanon was written by puck because he always admired how kurt knew he was destined for greater things than being tossed into dumpsters. the girls are wearing doc martens which kurt wears all the time!!! can you imagine the ND girls going thrifting to try and find shoes so they can support their bestie from the stage 🥺🥺 and that’s why kurt is the first person to jump to his feet and dance along!!! they’re all besties!!!! like deadass klaine getting together isn’t even a top three moment from this episode for me, which should tell you a lot considering how much i love those two. also MCR gets mentioned a bunch??? like i have never listened to their cover of ‘sing’ in its entirety because it kills me inside - i genuinely love my chemical romance a lot. so whenever they get mentioned i always kind of giggle about it lmfao

i’m sorry this was a whole ass essay but thank you so much for asking anon!!!! 💞

[mdverse]

Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that Rachel’s former bullies treated her better and did more for her then her boyfriends? Quinn, Santana, kurt ( wasn’t a full on billy but scorned her because she was annoying) they all did more

full disclosure: this is not something i usually think about so maybe i am the wrong person to be talking to about this lol

i kind of agree? though to me it's probably more sad than hilarious. you're probably right, because while rachel did have sweet moments with finn, he didn't really treat her all that well. their relationship was a hot mess and i don't really get why it lasted as long as it did (even as an on and off thing). i can't remember if rachel and puck ever officially dated but when they did have a thing going on in s1, he was very much not into her anyway. i will disagree when it comes to jesse, because from what i can remember, he was actually really nice to rachel up until she betrayed him first with the iconic music video that was run joey run ,and the stuff that happened in funk stemmed more from the VA vs ND dynamic as opposed to him specifically wanting to hurt rachel. i can't remember much about brody other than that he should've been honest about the fact that he was sleeping with other people.

as for her former bullies... again, i don't remember much so people who are more invested in rachel and her friendships are welcome to weigh in. i think part of the reason we see them all treating rachel better than finn and puck did is in part because they're just... actually present on screen? aside from quinn, but the faberry dynamic had a lot of growth in s3 from what i can remember. on the other hand, you have finn, who was in lima and then whose story was unfortunately cut short due to real-life tragedy, and puck, who was heavily side-lined like quinn was. without really delving in to the actual storylines, i think just the fact that we have rachel living with kurt, then also santana, is a big part of why those friendships end up getting better development in the show. admittedly you'd think the writers could've done better with finchel in s2 and s3 but i just don't expect much from them in general.

[sugarcarnation]

rank the season 2 new directions (including kurt)? (:

ohh okay im gonna rank them once on how much i like them and another time on how much of an important member i think they were

here’s my totally objective ranking of how good the characters are

1. kurt

sorry but this is a kurt hummel stan account before everything else. also his season 2 arc was so good

2. rachel

this is also a rachel berry stan account. and season 2 rachel was hilarious. i love her

3. tina

are we surprised by this ranking? no we’re not. i love her and this season features football player tina so it’s automatically amazing

4. mercedes

i love her. she didn’t get as much plot as she deserved but she was still the best

5. sam

he was very good in the his season. it’s nice to have a guy who isn’t constantly awful to everyone

6. santana

i love that her plot about figuring out her sexuality starts here. and overall it’s way better handled here than in season 3. also she wears a bunch of amazing outfits

7. brittany

season 2 is by far my favorite season for her. i think the writing was still good enough to not make her seem unnecessarily mean to other people and her and santanas relationship was so interesting to me. she also wore very good outfits

8. lauren

she’s a queen and we were robbed of her having more storylines. unfortunately she didn’t do enough for me to justify putting her higher than this

9. quinn

idk what her motivations for pretty much anything are in this season but she’s a girl on a mission and i appreciate that

10. artie

he was actually pretty good. he had some plot and was pretty fun most of the time (i am kinda bitter though that his plot ended with him being the bad guy even though he didn’t do anything wrong. like yeah he wasn’t the nicest but also brittany repeatedly cheated on him. what was he supposed to do? congratulate her?)

11. mike

i feel bad for putting him this low but what did he even do this season besides dancing? the dancing was pretty amazing though

12. finn

okay he ended up pretty low on my list mostly just because i think the writing of him wasn’t great. all the concepts like him struggling with popularity vs being himself are very interesting but not new. like he learned his lesson in season 1. i would like his plot much better if he didn’t totally forget all his character development between the seasons

13. puck

his relationship with lauren was actually cute but besides that he really didn’t do anything interesting this season

and now my how useful were they to the club ranking

1. rachel

i mean yeah. she’s their lead singer and she was the one who came up with the idea of writing their own songs and she even wrote some of the songs they were performing herself

2. mercedes

she probably deserves first place but alas the writers suck and didn’t actually let her do anything

3. santana

i think she really started to realize how much she enjoys performing this season and putting herself more in the spotlight was well deserved and good for the team. she gets minus points for being mean to other people though. that’s not good for the team spirit

4. mike

danced them to victory and didn’t cause any drama. iconic of him

5. brittany

danced them to victory but also caused drama which is why she’s lower than mike

6. kurt

hes in the middle because on the one hand he just left for half the season and only joined them again once they were already going to nationals but on the other hand he supported blaines singing candles at regionals idea and i’m pretty sure that counts as sabotage

7. tina

shes as always underappreciated by everyone. justice for tina. would probably be higher if i didn’t suspect that she’s the one who’s responsible for the awful dresses at regionals

8. artie

honestly the new directions would be lost without artie and it’s time we acknowledge that. hes doing the most singing and no one ever appreciates him. also he’s the one who gave brittany the confidence to dance in front of a big audience so go artie

9. sam

his singing was boring but at least he was a good teammate

10. quinn

her singing was also mostly boring and she was the cause for most of the drama. which is iconic but her trying to sabotage the team unfortunately puts her pretty low on this list

11. lauren

she made the new directions cool

12. finn

hes mostly this low because he kissed rachel at nationals. like buddy that was not the right time. besides that he also caused a bunch of drama and was kinda a dick to people. as the self appointed leader he should do better

13. puck

he brought lauren to the team and i appreciate that

[neversatisfiedwithlife]

hey babe! what's your ranking of the adults on the show?

Hi my love, thank you for the ask. Sorry this took soo long

I will do tiers(hopefully I won't forget anyone):

God/Iconic Tier-

Burt

Carole

Santana's mom(yes she appeared for like 10 minutes total at most but she was very supportive)

Brad

Bryan Ryan

Cooper (does he count as an adult? Lol why am I asking that)

Cassie July (sorry she was iconic, that's all)

David Martinez

Some mistake(s), overall you're a good fellow:

Carl (I mean he didn't do anything wrong, he was wronged more than wrong, if I do recall)

Isabelle (uggh such an amazing support for kurt)

Mike's mom (she tried to give him support and a positive push inspite of how negative his dad was)

Emma

Beiste (the thing in west side story 🙄)

Goolsby (idk where to put him, he was pretty iconic, a pot stirrer)

Roz (please remind me if I'm missing something horrible she did, the Becky vs Sue's kid thing is🤢 the way she went head to head with sue though is iconic of her)

You're on thin ice:

Carmen (not accepting Kurt is like a bigshot mistake tbh, but she will go here for being iconic with Rachel)

William

Get some therapy and come back:

Figgins (tbh I didnt know where to put him, he was virtually useless while the glee club was being bullied, he had his few good moments, also was horribly terrorized by sue)

Mike's dad (easy to put him lower, but though his means weren't good, he was trying to do the best for his son. In the end he came around, thankfully)

Terri (I think away from william she could start to grow, they weren't good for each other; obviously- she could possibly go in stay away from kids tbh...because yaaaa)

April (at the beginning she was very stay away from kids, she's still kinda on the verge but ehh, I think being around the glee kids helped her)

Stay away from children-

Santana's grandmother

Quinn's mom (really would've liked to see more development instead of just Quinn having to go back and live with her, then seeing nothing else from it)

Sue Sylvester

Ken Tanaka (I guess he wasnt HORRIBLE with the kids perhaps 😐 but no)

Sandy (ughhsjk)

Kendra(Terri's sister)

Shelby (sorry if you like her, yea she had some minor cute moments with Rachel, but all in all majority of her was not okay)

Holly (she just gave such horrible advice overall, and the shaming of children just because they didn't want to be sexually active?? Also what is teaching.)

Cooter (need I say anything)

Quinn's dad

-now tell me who I forgot because I feel like there's someones.

[genderless-consul]

Ok but the more I think about it the more I can’t get over how brilliant of an arrangement Don’t Speak actually is. 

Like, the way it takes full advantage of all four of them, the way it changes up the vocal pairings to accentuate the way these characters are inextricably tangled up in each other’s lives. 

Starting with Blinn (Flaine?) vs Hummelberry (Lima vs NYC), moving to Klaine vs Finchel for the chorus (the couples, so gloriously passive aggressive as they sing into each other’s faces), and then finally escalating to Raine vs Furt to drive home the new divide: the one who cheated vs the one who didn’t (yes I know Finchel were more complicated than that don’t @ me). 

The way all four of them come together with that iconic split screen (though I still insist it looks like they’re all lying on one very large bed singing four part harmony, ngl). The way Hummelberry get the last word of all the duets in the bridge, because they have each other and they have New York, so they’ll be able to move on (YES I KNOW I’M PROJECTING STORY ELEMENTS ONTO LINES THAT ARE ONLY ON THE STUDIO VERSION DON’T FUCKING @ ME).  The way Rachel takes it over down the stretch because she’s been hurting for months and she’s the one who’s least prepared for her plan to go sideways. 

The way it’s literally the only time that Finn, Rachel, and Kurt all sing at the same time and yes I will die mad. 

Idk I just really love this stupid fucking scene, it’s the rare galaxy brain Glee musical number that’s also narratively coherent and thematically powerful, and I’m so very grateful to Darren for making them do it. 

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 1

1: The Quarterback

Written by: Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk (with special assistance from Lea Michele) Directed by: Brad Falchuk

Overall Thoughts: This episode is not number one because it’s my all-time favourite. It’s not number one because I watch it again and again. It’s not number one because my favourite characters have storylines, or because the music is particularly incredible. No, this episode is number one because I have never seen Glee get anything so damn right. The whole way this episode is structured is emotionally devastating, an incredible catharsis for both the actors and the fans. It’s been years, and I still weep watching it. There’s a reason it’s the highest ranked episode on IMDB, and the most well-known. I’ve always said that when Glee does things right, it does them right. This was completely and totally right.

What I Like:

The choice to focus on six characters, while still giving everybody else a little bit of something to do. I find Glee is always at it’s best when it keeps the focus small, while still allowing for the ensemble elements to bleed in. Getting to specifically watch Kurt, Santana, Puck, Will, and Rachel’s grief process was gutting, but worked so perfectly.

This is one of the most genuine episodes of Glee, in terms of acting, because a lot of what is being seen is not actually acting. It’s the actors grieving, and it packs such an emotional punch.

That scene where all the newbies are putting stuff around Finn’s locker and Kitty says “this is kind of cheesy” and Rachel says “no it’s not, it’s beautiful” is so fucking powerful.

Honestly, every scene with Rachel in it is so goddamn powerful. I always watch and feel so much respect for Lea Michele for doing this.

The scene with Kurt, Burt, and Carole is also a stand-out for me. It does frustrate me a little bit that they tried to re-write the history of the iconic and really important scene from “Theatricality” (though not enough to list it as a negative to this episode), but it works in the context because that’s how things happen. When somebody dies, you want to see the best in them, and that often causes you to change the way you viewed things before (and Burt’s realization that it was less about Finn and more about himself is like, ouch). But really, Carole is the one who steals the scene. She makes me sob so damn hard. The emotion is so raw. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

The end scene with Will crying over the jacket was the absolute perfect way to end the episode. We finally get to see everybody grieve, and it feels (not to reuse words, but) cathartic. He held it in all episode long, but couldn’t any longer. We don’t have to either. We don’t have to be strong. We can hurt, and we can express that hurt. It’s okay.

What I Don’t Like:

The scene with Tina in Emma’s office always struck me as poorly thought out. Mainly because it’s the only scene Jenna Ushkowitz really gets in this episode, and she isn’t really allowed to show her grief, because they wanted to make at least one attempt at humour in this episode, and obviously it had to be made at Tina’s expense.

This isn’t about the episode itself, but ever since all the MS stuff happened, I feel very little emotion watching Puck’s scenes in this episode. Usually I can separate Puck from MS, but because this episode is so raw, and so much more the actors than the characters, I have a hard time sympathizing with him. But like I said, this is not as much about the episode as it is about my own personal feelings about that situation.

The fact that this episode had to be made at all.

Songs:

Seasons of Love: An amazing way to star the episode.

I’ll Stand by You: I’m so thankful that they reprised this iconic Finn song, and that they had Mercedes do it. I remember when this episode came out, people were confused about why Mercedes was singing it, but I think it made sense. Mercedes and Finn were always closer than people seemed to believe.

Fire and Rain: It does make me a little sad that this is the only thing Sam and Artie get to do in this episode, but I feel like their moment (especially Sam’s) comes more in “City of Angels”, and this is powerful enough to forgive them not having a larger role.

If I Die Young: This scene is so gutting. For some reason, I always think of this vs “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and it’s just… fuck me. It’s so emotional.

No Surrender: I always felt this was the weakest number in this episode, and, well, as I’ve already said, I have a bit of a hard time with the Puck aspects of this episode.

Make You Feel My Love: Fuck, this song. The second I hear the opening chords I start crying. I’m a fucking mess. Absolutely heartbreaking and raw as hell. So incredibly done by Lea Michele. Fuck.

Final Thoughts: I know it’s a bit of a sad episode to end the ranking on, but every time I considered putting an episode higher up than this one, I couldn’t do it. This is the absolute best episode that Glee has ever put out. They did absolute justice to both Cory and Finn, and it’s devastating to watch, but also cathartic as hell (I’m sorry I keep using this word) and just overall incredibly well done. Bravo, Glee. Bravo.

[frnknteen]

continuously updated important links pinned here !!

rules + verses + biographical info , also linked in the description , found here.

interest tracker found here.

main points of canon divergence found here ( and also in the bio linked in the description ).

where else can you find katie?

@riveir​ : river barkley of netflix’s the politician , headcanon / au - based ( primary )

@girlgilmore : rory gilmore of gil.more girls ( secondary )

@redbedroom : peyton sawyer of one tree hill ( teritary )

@worldsalight​ : multi - muse ( low activity )

important things to note under the cut.

i do prefer writing finn in au scenarios vs. gl.ee canon, whether it be exploring the rest of his college life / what things would have been like for him in the later seasons, adulthood things, or crossovers with other fandoms. this also means that i do prefer interactions to be plotted; if you ever wanna chat about something please just send an IM, or ask for my discord!

i’m iconless but that doesn’t mean you have to be. whether or not you use icons in our threads is totally up to you and i literally do not mind either way, i just get nervous that people think i’m expecting them not to or whatever and that’s totally not the case. if you worked hard on your icons and you think they look super cool feel free to use them. i bet they ARE super cool and i’d love to see them :)

i do have canon divergences that are both included in finn’s bio in the description and listed specifically in a separate post linked in the pinned post that i like to stick with. i’ve been kinda lenient about it if stuff i stay away from has come up but i do diverge from those things for a reason and it’s because i just don’t want to write them for one reason or another, and if you want to plot something otherwise please just let me know <3 otherwise, just please be aware that there are some things i change / exclude.

i am totally open to shipping, as long as our muses have mutual chemistry. the only hard no-ship i have on here in terms of what goes around the glee fandom is finn + kurt; the bottom line on that one is that they are brothers and refer to each other as such. i don’t really ship finn’s canon ships (finchel/fuinn) as they’re written on the show, but i’m totally down for writing shippy stuff for those relationships as long as it’s plotted with some divergence from canon we can both agree on. if you write quinn or rachel and send a shippy meme or stuff i’ll answer it in canon context as a default because i’d want to open the door for plotting / shipping, but i’m way more comfortable getting some depth going and stuff before it goes beyond that. an important note on that can be found here.

[yourstreetserenade]

santana and kurt would totally be drag race superfans and no one can tell me otherwise

You know what I was thinking, there really should be a Kurt/Santana friendship fic set during the high school years in which their relationship is explored through their mutual obsession with Rupaul's Drag Race.

Because if there were any two Glee characters who would become Drag Race superfans, it would absolutely be Kurt and Santana, undeniably.

Like they'd somehow find out they had the same favorite show. I think one day during glee Kurt and Rachel would probably be harmlessly bickering with each other, going back and forth about some song or costume choice and early-Rachel's tendency to dress like a toddler until he pointedly says ''you'll never be glamour''. Of course no one else in the room gets the joke/reference, except Santana who laughs inwardly. She and Kurt have a quiet, playful moment where they look at each other from across the room and realize they share something.

And then they sort of start this game together for a couple of weeks where they slyly throw out random lines and catchphrases from the show in front of the glee club. ''Go back to Party City where you belong'' Santana says to Sam for no apparent reason. Kurt tells Tina ''your tone seems very pointed right now''. Randomly approaching Finn Santana asks ''may I call you Jiggly?''.

No one has any idea of course but each time they get away with it Kurt and Santana always give each other these really adorkable pleased smiles. Then, after some time Santana just conveniently shows up at Kurt's place on show night, but tries to play it all cool and nonchalant acting like she only dropped by to pick up sheet music or his notes for class or something. Kurt however can totally see right through that of course and gives her what she asks for but also invites her down to his room because he was about to watch some TV. And Santana's all like ''fine whatever I can waste a few minutes'' when really she's secretly kind of giddy and delighted to have a Drag Race watching buddy.

It happens one week, and then the next week, and then the next and the next and after awhile all of Santana's pretenses drop. It's just sort of a given that on new episode days she'll just find her way over to Kurt's, they'll sit in his bedroom totally enraptured. Their friendship is a slow build at first, making silly bitchy chit chat with each other about the challenges and the queens but by mid season they're all in, having loud but playful, passionate debates about their favorite queens and runway looks, shouting when someone they love goes home, shaking their heads at Untucked scenes while they scarf down snacks, clutching their hearts when someone gives a really good lip sync. Together they can effortlessly reenact/recite Shangela vs Mimi Imfurst's iconic fight, although Kurt and Santana always bicker over who gets to play act Shangela cause neither of them ever want to be Mimi.

Also! Because Kurt likes to host you know he would try out all of his recipes on Santana during their Drag Race sleepovers.

They don't talk about it at school, they don't talk about it in glee, but it becomes like the crux of their friendship. And even though the visits still revolve around watching the show together, they start sharing other things too. I think Santana would appreciate Kurt's collection of vintage Vogue magazines. Santana would probably be willing to sit and critique all of Kurt's new wardrobe haul. I imagine they'd probably also get into this routine of buying random beauty/exfoliating products and trying them together (which they would then Toot or Boot!)

Drag Race becomes their special thing. It brings them closer. And at the end of every episode they have a mandatory dance off to The Beginning, dancing along with the queens on their TV. Because Kurt and Santana are those kinda dorks.

Eventually though I think there would come a day where Santana sat Kurt down and was like ''so Brittany and I are kind of official now and I know Drag Race is sort of our thing but I was wondering if maybe it would be okay if next time I come around, I bring her with me.'' And Kurt just smiles and tells her of course and that that he's really happy for them. And Santana's all ''whatever stop hugging me, Hummel''.

That's when this blond little cupcake enters the picture.

And here's the thing, Brittany would probably walk into that first Drag Race sleepover excited to see what the show was all about and to see Santana enjoy herself but because they’re a couple the dynamics would be get all screwy for awhile.

Kurt sometimes would probably feel like a third wheel sitting on the couch with them, especially when is Brittany gets all kissy and handsy with Santana who would try to focus. Like ''Brittany, not that I’m not enjoying this but after the show, okay? The judges are about to critique! Oh that feels good.'' 

It's not so much that Santana and Brittany pull that behavior at every Drag Race sleepover, it's that sometimes it's just plain awkward for Kurt to be their third wheel when the girls decide to get all cuddly and couply beside him. So he has an idea. ''Santana, if I have to listen to you and Brittany make those gross slurpy kissy sounds all night I should get to bring a friend to Drag Race night too!'' Figuring that it'll probably be Blaine or Mercedes Santana tells him to invite whoever he wants.

And that's when this annoying little muffin shows up.

And Santana is not pleased. Drag Race night is sacred and she doesn’t want Berry being a part of it at first. I imagine Rachel falling asleep during her first episode and Santana deciding that anyone who dares fall asleep in the middle of an episode will automatically get painted in their sleep. So the next day Rachel wakes up painted like Trixie Mattel (thanks to Santana, Brittany and Kurt because it was a group effort really). And Rachel is surprisingly a good sport about it that Santana is okay with Berry taking part.

I just imagine lots of kooky friendship moments.

I also have some headcanons about which queens would resonate with which characters. Like I totally see Kurt rooting hard for Jinkx Monsoon because he would appreciate Jinkx's quirky theatricality and the fact that Jinkx is an underdog who refuses to be dismissed. Rachel would totally identify with Alyssa Edwards because they both have that loud personality, you kinda of want to roll your eyes at them but you love 'em anyway. Meanwhile Brittany would be ALL about Katya. Why? Because Katya is batshit crazy in a way Brittany would find wonderfully delightful. Brittany and Katya are both such weirdos so it would make sense that she'd be Britt's favorite queen.

I strongly feel that all of the characters would gravitate towards queens with personalities similar to theirs. That said I'm still not entirely sure which queen would be Santana's #1. I go back and forth but I think maybe in the end I have to say Willam would be the queen Santana most felt connected to. ''Y'all wish for me to be nice and I'ma try''. I mean that quote just screams Santana.

Sure there are plenty of shit stirring queens throughout the season but I feel like Willam was more subtle and calculating where so many others were messy and chaotic. So I think Santana would totally get that and appreciate that about Willam who has a certain kind of bitch magic that appeals to her.

Man, I need someone to write this fanfic! 

[angelhummel]

Kurtcedes, Kurtana, Kurtina, Hummelberry, Kuinn

Oof okay that’s so hard cause like they’re all gold but canon hates us and doesn’t want us to be happy so it’s hard to rank them but here we go

5) Kuinn. Sorry I know everyone’s on their Kuinn shit lately but yall know I’m not the craziest about Quinn period. Plus I think we actually got the least from them in canon. But I still cherish the one little hug or the handful of times they were partnered together during a number. They’re still cute, obviously, and there could’ve been something there

4) Kurtina. Still love them but Blina is supreme. Think we could’ve gotten a cute Klina triad friendship in s3 if they weren’t pushing so hard for Hummelberry. I especially love them in s1, with Tina dancing with Kurt, him picking her first as his fake gf, him sticking up for her when the bullies hurt her. And then they had one line in s2 about sweaters and then never spoke again until he insulted her at the wedding reception in s4 so...

3) Hummelberry. This goes here just because it’s what they forced on us, so in the end we did get the most content. Looking past any “best gay” bullshit it’s really not that bad. Even that scene in s1 where Rachel sees Finn and Quinn walking by and she just stands and stares after them and then Kurt walks into frame and watches them too before looking back at Rachel and then they give each other that little wave. It’s so cute and I get emotional over it. Also “You may be lonely, but you’re not alone” and Rachel being the only one to really try and do something about Karofsky in s2. And in s4 when she hypes him up before his NYADA audition. And s5 when she tells him that he shouldn’t try to be something he’s not and that he’s going to be a success no matter what bc he’s so unique and amazing. I know there’s the best gay bullshit and I know Kurt shoulders most of Rachel’s bs in the friendship but there’s still a lot of good to be found there.

2) Kurtana. Ahh this is hard I really feel like the top two are tied. It’s basically s4-5 of Kurtana vs s1 of Kurtcedes (and then some sprinkled in for like 4 and 5). Like the power they did have and the power they could’ve had are just astronomical and we were truly robbed here. But I still love a ton of stuff we did get. Buuut also even when Santana was at her best she was still insulting Kurt every two seconds with Lady this and that. Which Kurt litcherally said is bullying but I guess people don’t careee. But idk they still had lots of good moments and they were iconic and I also love the Kurtcheltana threesome <3 

1) Kurtcedes. You already knooow. I don’t care how dirty they were done, they were still the most iconic. They were unmatched in s1, they had all the power. Being besties the second glee club started, joining the Cheerios together, all their little jokes and asides. Literally everything out of their mouths is iconic. Also Kurt got so precious few duets with non-Blaine or Rachel people and he got two with Mercedes and they were great. 4 Minutes is one of the most iconic numbers on the show periodt. They were just amazing and we deserved so much better but they were still the best end of story

give me 5 glee things to rank!