#because joey is a bad man who manipulates everyone

[queenofcats17]

His Perfect Lord

I saw this post and as usual, wanted to write something for it. 

So, here’s a perfect Bendy helping give Sammy hope.

Sammy’s Lord was perfect, both in form and behavior. His Lord was completely on-model, behaving exactly the way he did in the cartoons. He was true perfection, something they all should aspire to achieve. Although, Sammy would admit, he hadn’t expected to encounter a perfect little cartoon demon when he’d begun worshipping Bendy. He’d anticipated something grander, perhaps a true demon. Bendy’s influence was far-reaching, felt by everyone in the studio, and yet he was barely two feet tall. But Sammy was nonetheless satisfied with the Lord he’d found. Because above all else, Bendy provided hope. He gave Sammy a reason to keep going, a reason to live. The studio could be a hopeless place sometimes. It was easy to become disillusioned and spiral into depression. Bendy didn’t like seeing other people sad. This had become clear in Sammy’s first meeting with the little demon.

Sammy had been alone in his sanctuary, crying. It had been one of his more lucid days, when he remembered who had once been and all he’d lost because of Joey’s madness. He’d been sobbing into his hands when he felt a gentle tug on his pant leg. He looked down, unsure who it could be. Sometimes Jack would come and visit him, but Jack didn’t usually come by when he was crying. To his surprise, he found a small on-model version of Bendy. It was standing beside his chair, one hand holding his pant leg while the other was on its hip.

“Why’re you crying?” The small creature asked. It was trying very hard to look annoyed, but he could see the concern in its pie-cut eyes. 

“I’m...sad,” Sammy said slowly. 

“Why are you sad?” 

“Because I’m trapped in this body and this studio,” Sammy replied. “Joey stole away my whole life.”

“Oh. Right.” Its face fell. "’M sorry about that.”

“Where did you come from?” Sammy asked, turning to the creature. “I haven’t seen you before.”

“What do you mean?” It tilted its head to the side. “I’ve always been here. I don’t remember ever bein’ any other place.”

“So...Joey brought you into the world?”

“I think so.” The creature nodded, starting to fidget with its gloves. “I mean, I know he didn’t create me, but he brought me here.”

“So you’re...Bendy. Bendy the Dancing Demon.”

“Yep! That’s me!” It, no, he smiled wide. 

“My Lord!” Immediately, Sammy dropped to the ground, pressing his forehead to the ground. “I’m so sorry! I should have recognized you! Forgive my impertinence!”

“Hey...” Bendy hunched his shoulders. “Don’t...Don’t do that. It’s weird.”

“But you’re my savior!” Sammy kept his head to the ground. “You will save us all!”

“Not you too.” Bendy groaned. Sammy frowned, then looked up at him. The Little Devil Darling looked noticeably uncomfortable.

“What do you mean, ‘not you too’?” He sat up. Some deeper part of himself looked at Bendy and saw a child, not the least because of the little demon’s small stature. Sammy could be crabby sometimes, but he was never one to be cruel to children. He liked children, he always had. 

“Joey said stuff like that too,” Bendy said, kicking at the floor. “About how I was gonna save the company or something. But he was mean and he hurt people and I didn’t want to be around him.”

“That sounds like Joey,” Sammy replied without thinking, his voice shifting into the more put upon tone he’d had while still being human. “Always trying to pawn off responsibility onto other people.” Bendy stared at him for a moment before covering his face and beginning to giggle. Had Sammy still possessed blood, he was sure it would be rising to his face. 

“M-My apologies.” He cleared his throat. “I lost my composure. I should not be so insolent around you, my Lord.”

“No no! It was funny!” Bendy insisted, grabbing Sammy’s hand. Sammy flinched away, which made Bendy draw back a bit. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, letting go. 

“No, erm, it’s alright.” Sammy got back into his chair. “I was simply a bit surprised is all.” 

“Okay.” Bendy’s shoulders were still hunched, staring at the ground. Sammy reached out and took Bendy’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly. Bendy’s head snapped up, eyes widening. His mouth formed a little ‘o’ of surprise, which made Sammy instinctively smile. Bendy grinned back, although his smile quickly fell a bit. 

“I’ve heard some of your tapes.” He said. “You sound pretty upset in them. Did...Did you not like working here? Did you not like...me?” 

“That’s not it.” Sammy shook his head. “I liked working here, I think.” He pursed his lips, adjusting his mask a bit. 

“It’s hard to remember.” He admitted. “But I think I did like working here. Writing songs for the show was fun. Especially when I was writing for Susie.” He smiled wistfully before the smile vanished. “It was Joey I hated working for. He sucked the joy out of the whole thing.” He spat out Joey’s name as though it were poison. His mind was clearer than it had been in ages.

"All the other tapes I listened to seemed pretty mad at Joey too.” Bendy looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Sammy immediately replied. 

“But-”

“No buts.” Sammy gently cut him off. “You’re not responsible for Joey’s actions. Besides, like you said, it’s not like he created you. He simply gave you a physical form.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Bendy kicked at the ground a bit. Suddenly, though, a literal lightbulb appeared over the little demon’s head.

“Oh yeah!” Bendy lit up. “You probably knew Henry, right?” Sammy relaxed a bit now that the subject was no longer Joey. Even now, the thought of that man made him furious. Joey hadn’t been able to take his emotions from him, at the very least. 

“I did know Henry, yes.”

“What was he like?” Bendy clambered into Sammy’s lap, tugging on Sammy’s suspenders like an excited child. Sammy had to shift a bit so that he could hold Bendy properly. He was surprised by how large the little demon actually was. Bendy was about the size of a toddler. 

“He was a good man.” He said. “Always patient and kind towards others. And he loved you a great deal.”

“Then...Why did he leave?” Bendy’s voice was small. “Joey said that Henry didn’t care about me or Boris...And that was why he left.” He started playing with Sammy’s suspenders. 

“Joey drove him away.” Sammy’s lip curled in distaste. It was an instinctual reaction more than anything else. He’d grown disillusioned with Joey’s talk of dreams, especially now that he knew it was just that. Talk. Nothing more. And now, learning that Joey had been poisoning the little demon’s mind, making him feel unwanted. Joey really did manipulate everyone around him.

“Drove him away how?” Bendy tilted his head to the side. 

“He put a lot of pressure on Henry. Gave him a ridiculous workload.” Sammy explained. “It was all Henry giving and Joey taking. Eventually, he just couldn’t take it anymore. Especially since Joey kept stealing all the credit for the work.” 

“So...Henry did care about me and Boris?” Bendy asked hopefully. 

“He did.” Sammy’s expression softened and he reached up one hand to pat the space between Bendy’s horns. “Henry loved you both with all his heart. He would have taken you with him if he could.”

“But Joey wouldn’t let him.” Bendy finished. 

“Exactly.”

Bendy fell silent, snuggling into Sammy and laying his head on Sammy’s chest. Sammy stiffened a bit at this sudden contact. He hadn’t held anyone in years. Least of all someone who was essentially a child. Awkwardly, Sammy raised his arms and gently patted Bendy’s back.

“Can I stay with you?” Bendy asked after a moment or two of silence.

“Why would you want to stay with me?” Sammy pulled back a bit. “My sanity isn’t exactly guaranteed. I might slip back into worshipping you.”

“I don’t want to go back to Joey and Alice doesn’t like me.” Bendy started to wring his hands. “But, um, I can leave if you want me to. I-I don’t want to bother you.” Sammy could see tears welling up in Bendy’s eyes as he flopped off of Sammy’s lap and began to slink away.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you here,” Sammy said quickly, standing up. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You don’t like being referred to as a savior or a lord.”

“I just...I can’t save you.” Bendy kept his back to Sammy, kicking at the floorboards. “I can’t do the kinds of things that Joey can.”

“The things...Joey can?” Sammy asked curiously.

“He can do a lot of scary stuff.” The little demon was beginning to shake. “He did the bad stuff to Alice. But she thinks we’re the same.”

“So Joey is the Ink Demon.’ Sammy murmured, his eyes narrowing. Bendy nodded, turning back to look at him. 

“Do you still want me around, even if I can’t save you?” He looked so small at that moment. Hope was hard to come by in the studio. Sammy tried to provide hope to all he could. He knew he couldn’t save his congregation himself, but he could at least provide them with something to live for. 

“I do.” Sammy knelt in front of him. “Because even if you can’t save us, I know there’s something you can do.”

“Something...I can do?” Bendy echoed curiously.

“You can provide hope.” Sammy smiled and opened his arms for the little demon. For a moment or two, Bendy just stood there, staring at him. Then his face split in a grin and he threw himself into Sammy’s arms, starting to cry. Sammy closed his eyes, holding Bendy close. He had a feeling things would be better from now on. 

.

Things weren’t perfect. Not by any means. But they were better. With Bendy there to ground him, Sammy’s bouts of madness were fewer and farther between. The Lost Ones and Searchers were delighted to have Bendy in their presence, his antics raising their spirits and keeping them from falling into despair. He even managed to rope a few of them into pranks against Alice. Things weren’t perfect...But they were better. 

Sammy woke to Bendy sitting on his chest like a cat. The little demon’s eyes lit up upon seeing Sammy’s open. Bendy’s sleep schedule tended to vary far more than Sammy’s own did, so he was usually awake before Sammy was. 

“Good morning, my Lord.” Sammy smiled softly. “What would you like to do today?”

“I wanna mess with Alice!” Bendy bounced up and down on Sammy’s chest. Had the prophet still possessed lungs, this might have hurt. Instead, Sammy just laughed.

“Of course.” He sat up, moving Bendy into his lap. “Why don’t you tell me your plan while I make some soup?”

“Okay!” Bendy hopped off to go sit on a stool and watch Sammy work. Sammy got out of bed, moving to find some soup. He still held out hope that someone would save him and the others. But he would have to find his salvation elsewhere. For now, though, he had his hope. And that was all he needed.

[inkdemonapologist]

So from what I understand about your understanding of Sammy both in canon and the escape au, a lot of his hesitation about leaving this awful situation was due to the stigmas of the time(mental illness/health and homosexuality)/ his demeanor. If the game took place in more modern times that were/are more accepting and less bothered towards people with Sammy’s temperament, do you think it would end better for him? Everyone? Would Joey have any real power over him in this scenario? Or would Sammy’s inner turmoil doom him to same fate as canon.

Living in modern day doesn’t mean Sammy would suffer no stigma for his pretty visible neurodivergence, or that he would even necessarily accept being autistic, or get medication/therapy for whatever mental disorder is making him certain that a cartoon mascot is Watching Him. I do think Getting Therapy That Works For Him would be the most likely to make a difference in his life, but that’s more because Sammy… has a lot of self-sabotaging behaviour that he could really benefit from unpacking.

There’s a lot of factors to the composer’s demise, but I think some of it was just… personality. I tend to read Sammy as, deep down, preferring “safe” to “happy,” and tbh I don’t think he treats happiness as a high priority. Since TIOL, I’ve definitely read into the song Lawrence & Fain perform – a song explicitly about sticking with a bad friend because at least you know where you stand with him – and I think that attitude fits with what we know of Sammy already from BatIM. Trapped in a violent world of monsters, Sammy invents a religion and willingly becomes a loyal disciple of the monster that seems most powerful, remaining faithful as that monster ignores him for years. This is a man who desperately needs structure and something to believe in, who doesn’t believe he can survive on his own – and I think that was still true when he was human, even if it manifested differently.

Joey absolutely could still have power over his employees. And, like, even if you took Sammy out of the closet for a modern day incarnation, abuse hasn't exactly stopped being a problem in the entertainment industry today. Relationship or not, I don’t think Sammy would be one of the people coming forward; I think he’d be one of the people defending Joey’s mistreatment and manipulation as part of a normal, tough workplace… because otherwise, he would have to admit to being a victim, and he would have to cut off his own safety net. That’s not to say he’s doomed, but things sure could play out the same.

I guess the real question is, if Sammy lived in a world where he was significantly more free to fully be himself, would he then be able to value himself, trust himself, enough to leave? It would still be a really hard choice, I think.

[youretoomuchweretiger]

be the cowboy belongs to susie campbell

let me explain.

geyser: this song isn’t about joey or sammy or anyone else. this is about alice angel. this is about her being alice angel. being alice angel is all she wants, the thing that she can’t be without.

why didn’t you stop me?: if you ship susie and someone else, this song works perfectly. her and sammy? perfect. her and joey? perfect.

old friend: her a joey. look i don’t ship them, but i definitely think something happened between those two. he CANONICALLY takes her out for lunch. he also canonically replaces her with allison. i think you get what i’m trying to say when i say this song is them.

a pearl: this one is probably the one that works the least for her tbh only because i don’t see there being anyone who actually likes her for the right reasons.. look i love susie and sammy as much as the next person but i honestly see them as more of a fling… i mean the song would work really well for her if she had a canon love interest (other than like joey drew)

lonesome love: HER AND JOEY. all these songs are just her and joey. look i actually hate them together but that doesn’t change the fact i think they were canon. susie was in a very venerable state and joey is a very manipulative man. it was not a good situation but one that i still very much think occurred.

remember my name: yeah this song just screams susie. i don’t even think i need to explain it. this song is just so susie campbell.

me and my husband: from what we know, susie was not married, therefore this song doesn’t work THAT well. however, if you, like me, believe that her and joey were at one point together than you can see how this song would work for their relationship, at least from susie’s point of view.

come into the water: i mean this could work for her and joey or her and sammy. it could be super cute if you ship her and sammy, or really sad and a bad situation if it’s about her and joey.

nobody: the susie kinnie in me is crying. i have a fun little headcanon that after allison got the part of alice angel susie shut herself out from everyone out of fear of them all hating her, which just made them all think she needed space, while she just felt like they all didn’t care to check up on her ha ha ha

pink in the night: i mean i used to be a hardcore sammy and susie shipper and this fits them a little do well. now i’m sad.

a horse named cold air: to be honest, i don’t have the energy to analyze this song. just imagine susie transforming into alice ouuuu

washing machine heart: here we are folks the most susie campbell song on this album. i don’t even need to explain. this was literally the first song on my susie campbell playlist ever. why not meeee why not meeee

blue light: another song i don’t have the energy to analyze i am getting sleepy, but it’s fineeeee. just pretend i said something profound about her and joey.

two slow dancers: i don’t care if you don’t ship her and sammy imagine twisted alice and ink sammy to this song you will cry.

also i am tired and not proofreading this so accept many mistakes

[bigskydreaming]

AU where the DickKory wedding doesn’t happen as planned like in the comics, but here its because their friends, instead of just gossipping to each other about ‘what Dick did’ and how this is a mistake because he’s just trying to prove something and Kory’s just going along with it because she was shaken up by what happened too and kinda feels a need to feel/see it proven by him....

And instead, the other Titans (specifically looking at Wally, Roy, Garth and Donna, seeing as how those were the four who had plenty to say to EACH OTHER about their concerns but without any - except for Donna to Kory, and I maintain it wasn’t exactly the RIGHT thing to say - actually saying it TO them)....

No, instead here, they sit Dick and Kory down and ask why they’re really doing this and what's it all actually for, and when it comes out that Dick literally proposed in the heat of an argument about trying to convince Kory he never would have slept with Mirage if he’d known she wasn’t Kory, that she’s the only one he wants to be with and he was just desperate for her to believe it....well FINALLY this clusterfuck of chuckleheads pulls their heads out of their collective keister and starts looking at how FUCKED UP Dick is over all of this, and thinks back to the many, MANY times and ways he’s clearly displayed feelings of being deeply violated by what happened and how he was tricked, manipulated, didn’t want any of this, etc, etc. 

And because they’re actually superheroes who are familiar with victims of all kinds and not dumbasses who are so quick to blame the lifelong friend noted specifically by everyone who meets him for his enduring LOYALTY at all times, in all cases - in fact, how often do these very same people give Dick shit about being TOO loyal to people even when they don’t deserve it, like when has an ability to commit EVER been this man’s problem, like who are you even talking to here - and like.....they finally get their heads on straight and go hang on, let’s take a beat. I feel like we maybe rushed to judgment and didn’t totally think through what happened here and now we’re thinking it sounds a lot more like rape which means Dick did nothing wrong and has nothing to prove and Kory can reaffirm what she’s always believed and only had shaken for a time, that Dick’s love for her is real and honest.

And they can then without any hurt feelings or implications as to the longterm viability of their relationship, call the wedding off as they recognize the proposal for what it actually WAS, aka part of Dick’s literal ongoing trauma response as he tried to reconcile his deep-down knowledge that he was a victim here, he’d been victimized, violated and betrayed by someone he had trusted to be a teammate, not unlike other times he’s been betrayed by people like Terra or had to feel the visceral feelings of betrayal even when it wasn’t their fault, like more recently when it was a possessed Joey who was mocking Dick while holding him captive and then y’know, getting murdered right in front of him, and Dick is very much not OKAY because of all of this. 

Because its all hitting him in places where he is PARTICULARLY vulnerable because of parallel experiences he can’t help but associate with betrayal and manipulation and the subsequent experiences/feelings of being turned on and blamed by his friends for what he feels then is his responsibility to take sole accountability for, so all of this is very familiar, hits right to the bone of a lot of Dick’s core issues, and this time it just happens to all be compounded by the betrayal/victimization being deeply personal in a way none of the prior situations were, as well as being compounded by how nobody else seemed to even recognize he’d BEEN a victim.

And then by focusing on THAT instead of just gossipping about the SYMPTOM of his not being okay that was his shotgun proposal - which they all literally agreed only happened because Dick wasn’t okay - Dick and Kory can just mutually agree that they aren’t actually ready to get married, something both of them actually were very aware of and just trying to pretend otherwise, but they can further agree that its not a BAD thing they’re not ready to get married, it doesn’t mean they’ll NEVER be in the right place to get married, that this just isn’t it. Them not being actually ready to get married here and now, that has nothing to do with their RELATIONSHIP and everything in the world to do just with the specific reasons the proposal even happened, and their feelings and what they hoped to prove/be convinced of because of all that.

Meaning they then take a step back, Dick can get the help he needs with the support of Kory and his friends, and at some future point in his recovery, he and Kory can shift their focus back onto their relationship, mutually, leading to them eventually reaching the stage where they ARE ready to get married and one of them proposes to the other for the actual right reasons (which are really just, hey I love you and I want to marry you, its exactly that deep) and then they do get married and eventually start a family and things are still dramatic and chaotic and superhero-y but DUH, that’s because they’re SUPERHEROES, but they can still have a happy, healthy family life, the Kents do it all the damn time, and so can they....in this case they literally just needed a little help from their friends, so AU where that’s what they give them for their wedding gift. A ‘hey, call off your damn wedding,’ share circle.

Bonus points of course are that if the wedding never happens, DarkSide!Raven is left waiting in the wings and never gets her dramatic entrance moment to be like “Why yes, I object!” and so she misses her window and Kory and Dick are from that point on so surrounded by friends she never gets a good opening to possess Kory with the demon seed, so Kory never has to deal with ANY of that nonsense, because the LAST thing either Kory, Dick or their relationship needs to deal with, is MORE possession/brainwashing/mind control bullshit. Like enough already. They more than filled their quota. Let another happy couple dabble in the Being Possessed or Mind Controlled field for a change. Dick and Kory are MORE than happy to share. They aren’t going for a monopoly here.

[dcbutinamrev]

Tag Yourself: The Helpless Trilogy Edition

~Was inspired by @the-reynolds-pamphlet to make this due to their tag yourself oc edition so I thought why not try it with the Helpless Trilogy characters? The main characters, at least~

Alexander Hamilton:

-bi/poly (??? I mean, he adores Eliza but he's in a current relationship with Laurens and lives him dearly but also loves Andre?)

-your average angsty teenager

-an introvert

-workaholic

-lives on coffee

-three to four hours asleep per night

-smol

-complicated relationship

-loves his brother dearly

-may look small and fragile but can actually kick ass

-cranky in the mornings

-heavy trust issues

-Complete summary of: "This is how I enter my house: WUSSAP FUCKERS!"

"Just because I'm small or just simply delicate doesn't mean I can't kick ass"

John Laurens:

-gay

-military man

-tries his best to protect his dear boy at all costs

-rough childhood/daddy issues

-terrified of Lafayette, Hamilton's older foster brother

-always tries to do everything right

-typical prince charming high school student

-tall af

-easily paranoid

-complete summary of: Hey, how you doin' well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside-

"I have one hell of a boyfriend."

Gilbert Marquis de Lafayette:

-your typical older brother

-loves his little lion dearly, would do anything for his little brother

-very much an extrovert

-kind and sweet

-would be your bff any day

-your average Frenchman

-adores Mulligan but also his fellow college classmate back in France, Adrianne

-overprotective af

-respects George

-actually sleeps unlike Hamilton

-Complete summary of that one vine where the guy is dancing on the couch and the coffee table slips underneth him

"That's my little brother!"

George Washington:

-your typical Dad

-protective of his family

-loves his wife, Martha

-would do anything for his boys

-trust issues

-also a workaholic

-worries over everything

-complete summary of: "ALRIGHT THAT'S YOUR IN TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!"

"Home by midnight!"

Martha Washington:

-your average Mom

-beautiful

-kind, sweet, the perfect friend to a have a shoulder to cry on

-would support you no matter what

-loves her three boys dearly

-devoted to her husband

-very much like Mrs. Hudson in Sherlock Holmes (BBC)

-complete summary of: "To heck with diabeties, I'm having choclate cake...and drinking beer...and having choclate cake- "

“Of course, dear.”

Eliza Schuyler:

-the best friend everyone could ask for

-shy sometimes but mostly outgoing

-a dog lover

-dedicated to her school work and other work she may have

-loyal to her friends

-trusting, kind, and sweet of course.

-actually sleeps a full 8 hours

-would be the type of person who has created a full morning and night routine

-a morning person

-the Mom friend

-has Monica's personality and character

-complete summary of: "I will always want you- YOU! *flips on sunglasses and starts vibin'*

“Boys…”

Angelica Schuyler:

-big sister/friend vibes

-sassy sometimes

-protective of her friends.

-partier

-the rebel sister

-good grades and responsible

-complete summary of: "You spilled lipstick in my valentio white bag?!?!"

"Oh. My. God."

Peggy Schuyler:

-sassy

-a jokester

-definetly has Phoebe's personality in Friends

-also a partier and a rebel

-prefers mall shopping, tiktoks, youtube, instagram, tumblr instead of school

-complete summary of: "And they were roomates! Oh my god they were roomates- "

"So who was top and who was bottom?"

Richard Kidder Meade:

-chaotic

-annoys his friends

-binges on Friends

-doesn't have his life together

-prefers gaming on his switch instead of school

-loves his friends dearly though

-hilarious

-the jokster of the friend group

-Definetely Chandler's personality

-complete summary of: "SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! EVERYBODY!"

"I'm Chandler could I be wearing any more clothes?!"

Tench Tilghman:

-actually has his life together

-good grades

-your typical normal high school student

-prefers binging on youtube and hanging out with his friends

-would love to be your bff

-sweet and outgoing, a little bit of both an extrovert/introvert

-complete summary of: "Zaaaam! You got a bae, or nah?! You got a bae, or nah!"

-Definetly either Joey or Ross personality

"You must be lucky to have Laurens as your roomate, Hamilton. At least you don't have to deal with Meade acting as Chandler Bing for 24/7--"

Robert Hanson Harrison:

-the dad friend

- complete summary of "I don't get no sleep cause of yall! Yall never gonna sleep cause of ME!"

-prefers books and writing short stories than school

-introvert

-even though they're annoying sometimes, he still loves his friends

-not much a partier but would go to school dances or stuff like that

-would support you and his friends always

-dedicted to his education and career in the future

-loyal to his friends

-looks after you

-Ross vibes

"Children. I'm friends with absolute children."

Benjmain Tallmadge:

-a normal teenager

-football star

-Definetly Joey vibes

-also tall af, could be mistaken as Laurens's identical twin

-loves his friends dearly

-supportive

-big brother of the friend group

-complete summary of: "I WON'T HESITATE BITCH- "

"Have some leomanade~"

John Andre:

-bad boy

-typical villan

-would be the type of person who would punch you in the face if you talk to them before their first cup of coffee

-jealous af

-manipulative

-in love with Hamilton or rather crush

-is basically like Simcoe from Turn

-deciteful

-the type of character that everyone including readers would want dead

-a lot like Jim Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes (BBC)

-plays the flute and used to be artistic

-complete summary of: "Hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage!"

"Hello Laurens, did ya miss me?"

[popanalysis99]

Toxic Men in TV Series who are the absolute worst.

(TW: R*pe and Sexual Assault)

While there are some men who seem to be interesting, let’s not deny the fact that there are most male characters who act like their “toxicity” is cool but honestly, it’s horrible and something not to root for. So here are the toxic male characters who are the absolute worst, excuse my misandry:

Kevin McRoberts - Kevin Can F**k Himself

We had to start somewhere from the bottom of the underworld. A recent entry on this list, Kevin is the lead character Allison’s husband who...let’s just say has the brain of a dumb frat bro who is extremely high on pot and hasn’t recovered since then. While most of the sitcoms in the past would portray these so-called goofy and dim-witted husbands as “big fun” and lovable, Kevin is not like that, at all. In this anti-sitcom nightmare, Kevin literally believes that the whole world revolves around him. He plans such stupid unrealistic schemes to seize the day, recklessly spends the savings on stupid irrelevant sports merchandises and doesn’t even let Allison have her own agency outside of his life. Plus he is so petty and spiteful to the point he destroys one good thing that any of the women in the series have, like Allison’s dream job and Patty’s love life. And that latter was because she didn’t bring him a burger! All of this makes him look less funny and more tyrannical. No wonder poor Allison got spurred into wanting to kill him.

Ross Geller - Friends

Ross may seemed like a “nice guy”, but let’s just agree it was a facade. Ross believes that he knows what’s best for the women he dates in the series and thinks he is superior and is always right about everything. He is seems extremely disturbed over the fact that his ex-wife, Carol is a lesbian and is jilted towards her current wife, Susan and snarks at the latter for it. And then there is her extreme control and jealousy towards Rachel, especially in her career. While Rachel is no saint either, Ross jumps to the conclusion that the man who got her a perfect job wants to sleep with her, then goes out of his way to humiliate and mark his territory on her and even if it’s revealed that the said guy has a girlfriend of his own, Ross still doesn’t abandon his theory, unless he believes that the guy is cheating on his girlfriend with Rachel. And then there is the fact that he joined his student girlfriend on a spring break just to have her all to himself, not caring about the fact that what if one of his students or colleagues would’ve seen him on TV with her and that could’ve put him in a huge scrutiny.

Joe Goldberg - You

The show is basically built around how toxic Joe is, but this didn’t stop him from having his own fanbase apparently, with most of them glossing over his actions. But Joe is not a dream boyfriend at all. Once he sees a woman in front of him, he immediately gets obsessed with her and believes she belongs to him and him only. And to achieve that, he stalks her, he checks everything about her, kills people he believes are harmful to her when he himself is the same and when the woman finds out about him and rejects him, he kidnaps and kills her and the cycle begins again.

Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl

What is it with the teen drama industry’s obsession with the “Bad Boy who can be redeemed with love” trope? Chuck Bass is “the bad boy” of Gossip Girl. If his attempted rape of Serena and Jenny didn’t give fans an indication that how deranged he is, his violent and emotional abuse of his girlfriend Blair cements him as this. He slut-shamed women around him, hit Blair once and even traded her for a hotel ownership and somehow he gets a happy ending with her at the end! What?

Nate Jacobs - Euphoria

Nate is a star quarterback of his high school football team and seems like he has it all, but underneath, he is fucking deranged. His untamed manly rage causes him to physically and emotionally abuse his girlfriend Maddy and blackmail Jules, who didn’t do anything wrong but just sleep with his father, which makes me think that Nate is blackmailing her into lying to the cops about his assault on Maddy when she wasn’t even there when it happened just because it’s fun for him. Honestly, I’d like to see the imagine Rue and Jules had of killing him become a reality someday.

Dawson Leery - Dawson’s Creek

Just because the show is named after him since he is the protagonist, doesn’t justify his actions. Dawson sees himself as some sort of a Nice Guy hero who believes he is entitled to everything. He has this extreme view on women and how they should fulfil his fantasies of his Rom-Com world. He is extremely critical of Jen when he finds out about her promiscuous past and tells her that she should be ashamed of herself for it, and gets jealous when his two best friends Joey and Pacey begin dating. And when he was briefly in the movie business, he was a rookie but was already a primadonna with the director and crew of the movie was working on and insulted a film critic for criticising his movie which was actually bad.

Kilgrave - Jessica Jones

Kilgrave is the main villain of the Marvel-Netflix series Jessica Jones. He becomes obsessed with the titular heroine when she breaks off from his mind-control. Before that, he spent years treating her as his sex slave and raping her constantly, which left her traumatised. He begins to stalker and believe it will be a “lover’s reunion” when he will see her again someday. He manipulates and brainwashes everyone around him to his whim and treats most women as objects but despite all that, sees himself as the good guy of the situation. Even after Jessica finally gives him his just desserts, he still haunts her everyday.

Fernando Vera - Mr. Robot

This spawn of satan is the reason why I decided to write this list in the first place. Where do I even start? He is first introduced into the series when he forces Shayla to go on a date with her and later rape her. This is what causes the misandrist vigilante Elliot to sell him out to the FBI and this apparently turns on Vera and moves his unhealthy obsession to Elliot. He has Shayla killed when he tricks Elliot into breaking him out of prison, then returns to have him all to himself by kidnapping his therapist Krista and forcing information out of her about Elliot so that he could “break him and build him back up”, like a fucked up version of The Taming Of The Shrew. He psychologically abuses Elliot into remembering being sexually abused by his father as a child and proceeds to gaslight him into thinking that he was just helping him. The huge problem with Vera is that he sees himself as some sort of Christian Grey who believes that his abuse towards both Shayla and Elliot is charming. Whenever someone failed his desires, he immediately gets bored of them and moves onto someone else, like when he got Shayla killed and moved onto Elliot. That’s why it felt so cathartic when Krista killed him.

Tate Langdon - American Horror Story

Apparently, he is Tate Langdon and he is...hot?? While most of the AHS fans glorified him due to his emo bad boy nature, let’s not forget the fact that he was a school shooter who murdered innocent students and staff and was in general possessive and toxic towards Violet. So no way he is boyfriend material!

Don Draper - Mad Men

Don Draper was the main protagonist of Mad Men. He was an advertisement and marketing executive who had a lot of vices and did a lot of horrible things such as cheat on his wife and treat almost every women and colleagues like crap.

Dexter Morgan - Dexter

While Dexter might seem like the serial-killer killer, there are a lot of things about him which are unadmirable. He gaslights those he is close to so that they could get off his back, obstructs evidence pointing out to him, captures those who didn’t even fit his victims like Doakes and caused the deaths of LaGuerta, Rita and finally his sister Debra. Yeah I think you should stay away from him.

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Aaah..the worst of the worst. Walter White is the protagonist of the series Breaking Bad. He first starts off as a pushover high school teacher who isn’t respected by anyone. When he gets diagnosed with Lung Cancer, he gets into the meth business so that he could support his family, but we all know that it’s not true. He relishes on the power and glory from being a drug dealer and then kingpin and because of that he ends up abusing both Jesse and Skyler, emotionally abusing and selling out the former to the sadistic Nazis and raping the latter several times. He is so petty and spiteful that he kills anyone insulting his ego, just ask Mike. And even after all this, he still claims that it’s all for his family. Like what?

[anotheronechicagobog]

My One Chicago Headcannons Part 1

Cornelius Rhodes either killed his wife or orchestrated it somehow, and Connor found out or saw and knows his dad covered it up and he can't do anything about it

Connor gives 90% ofhis income away to charity cause after he was exposed to the injustices of the world he felt like he really had to do something and is well aware that money actually does have a lot of effect on social justice and change

Helen Manning (Natalie's MIL) showed up to her son's wedding in a white dress and had some weird attachment to her son

Natalie is fluent in Italian and has been teaching Owen

Maggie was blocked from her family group chat after she sent her 1,000 meme and her aunts and uncles got tired of feeling old so her cousins and nieces and nephews created a group chat called Maggie’s memes cause they think she’s hilarious

Will Halstead violated people's DNRs because he wasn't there for his mother when she was sick/dying and he feels really guilty and needs therapy

Sharon loves heavy metal, she listen to one song like 30 years ago by accident and fell in love with the genre and when Maggie one day walks in and sees her bobbing along to Black Sabbath she looks really surprised but then Sharon shrugs, pauses the music, and asks whats up, and Maggie just kinda tucks the info away and is just happy that she knows Sharon even better now

Dr. Charles has a therapist, but isn't completely honest with her I don't think because he did some seriously bad shit to Reese that was obviously connected to his failures as a father to his daughters

Reese would have been better suited in literally any other practice of medicine but psychiatry but she made a rash decision after a bad day, encouraged by her manipulative bf, and just accepted psychiatry cause it was the best thing that came along after she dropped pathology

Joey was a POS who purposefully dated med students cause they were so naive

April Sexton wanted to be a doctor but was bullied into being a nurse by her family because they thought that her make brother deserved a better job than her because of their genders

April is so holier than thou because she found some power in social standing at her job and holds onto it for dear life to deal with the failure of her personal goals

Kevin gets invited to all of Kim's family functions (so did his siblings when they lived with him) and the entire family has basically adopted him as an older brother

Kim and Adam (separately) mail presents to Vinessa and Jordan for their bdays and holidays

Jay was totally a mommas boy and was taught to cook and bake by her (Will burns water somehow and it's shocking that he's a functional adult) he also knows how to sew and knit and made baby blankets for Owen Manning when he was born, Louie when Gabby started fostering him, Terrance Boden when he was born, and Makayla when Kim decided to foster her

Hailey can also cook and bake but it's almost strictly Greek food and the basics (she tried making bouef bourguignon once and it tasted like pigeon farts, don't ask) she;s also an amazing singer and Jay swears that she’s part siren

Platt has a vacation house in Southern France that she tells no one about, but it’s where she and Mouch went for their honeymoon, and she let’s the Hermann’s and Boden’s use it for vacations every once in a while but they’re sworn to secrecy

Voight is bi and secretly had a crush on Al almost the entire time they knew each other and he’s been taking care of Michelle since he died and Olivia (his DIL) got remarried and he hates her new husband but won’t say anything cause he knows it’s just because Justin’s dead

Voight likes some people in the world, like Platt and intelligence, but Daniel (his grandson) is the only person he actually loves and lives for at this point (if Olivia asked him to retire and move close to them for Daniel he would at the drop of a hat but he knows she wants space after what happened to Justin)

Severide’s favourite drinks are the fancy fruity ones but doesn’t drink them cause he doesn’t want to get teased about it (one of the only things Benny instilled in him, internalized toxic masculinity) so Sylvie orders them and gives them to him sometimes as a sign of friendship after he divorced the blonde he married in Vegas cause she didn’t go with him

Matt was in the foster system after his mom shot his dad not becasue he didn’t have any other family, but because no one in his family wanted him, so he actually has a massive family with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins that he hasn’t seen since he was fifteen

Matt keeps in contact with Louie and his dad (Gabby just couldn’t and everyone understood) and gets invited over for Sunday dinner sometimes, and Louie’s grandma makes him call her ‘mom’ and treats him like a son and Matt is so grateful

Stella LOVES cars, she’s super into them and Top Gear is one of her all time favourite shows

Sylvie would be okay with getting pregnant and having a biological child but she really wants to foster and adopt kids cause even though she was six she remembers just how bad the foster system was

Sylvie has a green thumb and knows carpentry cause her grandparents taught her

Mackey loves country music and knows how to play guitar cause she likes to play along

Joe is really good at painting, some of Chloe’s favs are his acrylics but he prefers watercolours

Mouch actually became fluent in Japanese and does part-time work as a translator for the CPD

Hermann hates silence. He works in a firehouse and then goes home to a house filled with his wife and five kids, if he ever actually gets a moment of peace and quiet he blasts music, sometimes he dances too and it turns into dance parties whenever his kids catch him

Boden carves and paints wooden birds after his dad died and asked Casey to make a mobile for Terrance out of the ones he’d made and makes a special carving for everyone he loves on their birthday they’re Donna’s favourite gifts and she literally has a specific shelf for them

Gallo only likes cheese on pizza and quesadillas and the real reason he and Violet broke up was because cheese was her favourite food and she’d put it on everything (even though he gave an impromptu marriage proposal after the green eyed monster made an appearnce, she actually liked him and wanted to work on the relationship after she obviously said no, but cheese was a deal breaker for him)

Ritter is 100% a Dog Dad, Tuesday has five different beds, far too many toys to count, and he buys her gourmet dog food and treats, but it;s okay becasue Eric spoils her too

[thetriggeredhappy]

I absolutely love your writing! If you're taking requests, could you maybe do a speeding bullet soulmate au?

thanks a lot pal! and sure thing, i’ve actually had something half-finished in my drafts for soulmate!au for a while. in this AU, it’s the classic “your first words to your soulmate are written on your wrist”, with a minor twist–if your soulmate’s words are on your left hand, that means you will need to speak first. if it’s on the right, then your soulmate is the one who has to speak first before you say your words. this adds a little bit of clarity in-universe, since you can see your phrase is something simple like “how can i help you” and if you’re speaking second you can shoot them back with something buckwild. it can lead to people being more or less extroverted–knowing your line comes second means you can say whatever without being worried that it’ll be written on some poor sap’s skin, and knowing your line comes first means you don’t have that luxury. also limitations like “must be speaking exclusively to that one person” (unless polyamory), “can’t be through a phone or writing”, and “must be identifiable as the person” (do with that what you please). anyways, i like soulmate AUs and put a lot of thought into them.

actual fic is below the cut, and again, you’re very kind

”Are you doing alright, mate?”

To be honest, that wasn’t the worst line that Jeremy could’ve gotten, but fuckin’ seriously.

It wasn’t as bad as his brother Joey, he had “Your shoe’s untied” on the left, and Petey got the nightmare scenario and just got “Hey, how’s your day?” on the right, but the thing that really frustrated him was that it wasn’t even the reaction phrase. That was the opening phrase, meaning they had to say that to him first before he could respond with his own line, and if they were asking if he was doing alright that had to mean something bad was gonna happen and he’d probably look stupid in front of his soulmate and not have a good response or whatever because he’d just, like, fallen in the harbor or something.

Turned out, by the time Jeremy was twelve, he was starting to find out that bad things happening to him was gonna be a consistent issue. He had bad luck, worse than all his brothers combined, and over the course of all that time he got an awful lot of “Are you okay, dude?” and “Are you alright?” from a lot of people. But none of them ever got it exactly right,

missing the crucial few words, nobody ever saying “mate”. Nobody ever asking him that in a voice that felt dark orange.

“Y’know,” his Ma said to him one day when he was sulking, twenty-two and still soulmate-less and with a terrible time at job hunting to boot considering his most recent cast, luckily on his left arm so he could still glare at his mark. “It does have a hint at least.”

“That I’m gonna be a total klutz forever?” Jeremy sulked.

“That your soulmate isn’t gonna be an American, sweetheart,” his Ma corrected gently. “He’s probably gonna be British, or Irish, something like that. They’re the only ones who say “mate”, right?”

“Didn’t you also think my dad was gonna be a Canadian?” he asked suspiciously.

“Honey, I’m not magic, I don’t know everything. I thought it was unrealistic to think it would be someone actually from France,” she said, a little haughty.

She was one of the lucky people to get a really specific phrase, in a language that wasn’t her own no less. It was in French, and when he’d asked as a kid what it said, she’d laughed and said it meant “I promise I had a much more intelligent line to say, but I’m afraid I’ve forgotten it.”

She always said his dad had died, and worn the traditional covering to show that someone’s soulmate was dead, to hide where the words had gone black. But once or twice he’d glimpsed her wrist, and to be honest, the words looked more navy blue.

“Why the heck am I gonna talk to a British person?” Jeremy asked, sulking again.

“World works in mysterious ways, J-Bear,” his Ma shrugged.

She was right. Because a few months later, he was in a particularly terrible situation, and he received a phone call asking if he wanted a job.

-

”I’m seriously, actually, 100% going to murder you.”

It hadn’t shown up until he was four years old, which Mick’s parents had a bloody field day with, and once they were good and tired of dealing with that conundrum they moved right along to address the fact that in reply to whatever their son was going to say, he was going to promptly be threatened.

Great.

He ended up baking under the sun just like everyone else in his god-forsaken country, which only made the bright, cherry-red phrase stand out all the better. His mum tried to be supportive, honest she did, but even getting bullied at school every other day never led to him finding anyone, and she wasn’t all that surprised when at age nineteen he packed up the bare essentials and left home without a word.

He had an idea in his head. He’d heard before of people, terrible people, who used the idea of soulmate to do… bad things. To manipulate people, to make them stay in bad relationships because they thought this one person could and would solve all their problems. And if his soulmate’s first words to him were a threat…

He’d admit if he was asked that he was a lonely person. He didn’t ever seem to fit with anyone. Nobody ever seemed to understand what he meant once he started actually talking, being honest. And he didn’t know if he would have the strength to get out of a bad situation if he was promised up front that this person would understand him. He was pretty sure he would put up with a lot of bad things just for the sake of genuine connection.

So he decided he wouldn’t ever find his soulmate. He’d go off to do hunting and tracking in fuckall nowhere and nobody would ever bother him and he’d never need to deal with a soulmate. He didn’t need one. He’d be fine alone.

When he eventually turned to killing people for money, some part of him deep down wondered if he was just getting too lonely and giving in to what fate had in store for him. If becoming an assassin was the most pathetic, fucked-up bid for someone’s love that had ever happened in history. People did threaten to kill him a lot in that line of work. And more often, people actually tried.

Eventually he got a job offer out in America, more consistent pay and all for the same job, less moving around required, and he took it. He was getting up there in years, and he had a feeling that if he hadn’t found his soulmate by the time he hit thirty, he never would.

-

Jeremy got a new name: Scout. And his new coworkers—“teammates”, as the very pretty lady who unfortunately didn’t ask if he was doing alright had specified to him—were from all over the place. And he’d had high hopes for a minute as he realized one of his teammates was Scottish, but when he spoke face-to-face with the guy he’d instead greeted him with a cheerful “Pleasure to meet you, lad!” and his reply of “Yo, so you’re the Demoman?” had elicited exactly no response, so that was a bust.

He spoke to the Pyro, as briefly as possible since they freaked him out, but they’d similarly not seemed to react to what he first said to them, and neither had any of the rest of the team. Hell, the Heavy had outright brushed him off up front and the Sniper had given him exactly one up-and-down before he’d left entirely.

So cool. Great. New job with people who didn’t care. Nice.

And he found out more and more as time passed that they very much didn’t care. Most of the team could hardly tolerate him for more than ten minutes at a time, Spy he could barely put up with for two sentences, and even though he eventually got to be better friends with Pyro, and Engie eventually started putting up with him more, they still got annoyed with him pretty quickly. Pyro basically ignored him once they reached their limit, and Engie would essentially kick him out of his workshop.

And… to be honest, he didn’t feel totally comfortable talking to them about certain stuff. He felt a little bit like he’d get laughed at. And his once-every-two-weeks phone call home sometimes wasn’t enough to deal with various stresses and he usually was more interested in hearing their news than complaining anyways.

He didn’t know why he went out to the watchtower. Maybe because he was out for a run and it just happened to be in his line of sight. Maybe because it occurred to him that Sniper could keep a secret, wouldn’t tell the guys about whatever he ended up talking about. Maybe because he felt like he didn’t really have any other options.

Anyways, he ended up climbing the watchtower, asking Sniper if it would bug him if Scout sat around and hung out for a while. Sniper didn’t reply, just glancing at Scout over his shoulder briefly before returning to his scope. And then Scout made it exactly three minutes before he started in on talking. “I dunno I just think it’s funny that Spy thinks I’m rude when he’s always the one starting shit for no reason—“

And Sniper didn’t interrupt him, didn’t say anything, didn’t chase him off. He sat there, staring down his scope, occasionally pausing to take a drink of his coffee, for about two hours. Two hours of Scout just talking, thinking out loud.

It was nice. So nice that Scout cut himself off, eventually said goodbye and left the tower again, sure that Sniper would get tired of him and he’d never be allowed back up there again.

It became a weekly thing, every Monday Scout would go up there and talk to Sniper. Talk at Sniper, more like. And Sniper would listen.

One of the days, Scout said something, something he couldn’t even remember, because it was overshadowed by the thing that immediately followed it��Sniper laughing.

He’d never heard Sniper laugh before, he didn’t think. Not in the real way, anyhow. Sniper didn’t talk much. He’d occasionally mention something over the comms, and once or twice Scout heard him cheering along with the rest of the team when they won a match, but overall, he was a man of few words. So getting him to laugh…

He thought about it a lot.

-

Sniper didn’t entirely get why Scout started talking to him.

He tried so hard—so hard—to be left alone. He put on a scowl and wore the brim of his hat low and carried his knife off the clock and didn’t say hello or goodbye. He wanted to be left alone. He deserved to be left alone.

Scout, apparently, didn’t notice. And halfway through Sniper trying to figure out what to say to get the kid to leave, he started telling some story about his brothers back home, and…

He never got around to it. He never… got around to telling him to leave. And once Scout had that foothold, had that… constant nature, that consistency, once Sniper knew to expect him every Monday two hours after the team dinner or half an hour before sunset—whichever came first—he found himself…

God damn it. Enjoying Scout’s company. He liked some of the phrases Scout used. He talked in an interesting way. It was pleasant to listen to. And he was honest, uncomfortably honest at times. He told Sniper about all sorts of things that he figured it was safe to say nobody else knew about.

He talked about his family. His mum. His dad, who died, and then later he corrected himself to say his dad, who disappeared, who probably left, words in navy and not in black. He talked about growing up in the bad part of town, about never being allowed to walk home from school without at least one of his older brothers there until he was eight, when he started carrying a knife on him because sometimes none of his brothers showed up for him, until he was twelve, when he just started running there and back every day after baseball practice to save the trouble. About shoplifting, about getting a job delivering newspapers the second he was legally allowed to, about older brothers going in to work sick and Ma working two jobs to try and support them all when they got too sick for work, too sick for anything for a while. About what he did with his paycheck—he kept some pocket change for himself, to buy records sometimes, or posters, or snack foods for when dinner sucked, or fast food or drinks at the bar when he had time on the weekends. The rest of it—every goddamn penny—went back home. One day, maybe his Ma would never have to work again.

He wanted to tell Scout about his own sad life story. Climbing up the tree outside school and throwing rocks at the bullies who chased him, starting to skip classes and smoke towards the end of his schooling just to try and look a little more intimidating. About his dad scoffing at him when he tended to use a gun to chase off predators from their flock of sheep instead of fighting them hand-to-hand like a good Australian. About running away from all of his problems, and how killing animals, especially people, seemed to be the only thing he was ever any good at, and how sometimes that really did bother him, a lot.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t convince himself that Scout cared, somehow. Visits jumped up to twice a week, Monday and Thursday, same time. It was hot for a while, and he went into town one Sunday to pick up two cases of beer, hauled a cooler up into the watchtower, and left three beers next to where Scout sat and three next to himself about ten minutes before the kid showed up. When it started getting cold at night, he brought up his own quilt like he always did, but brought up the spare as well, left that on what he’d mentally started thinking of as Scout’s Crate. Scout drank the beers, and used the blanket, and would talk for his two hours and then say goodbye and not mention anything to Sniper when they went out to battle the next day.

It…

He didn’t like that he enjoyed it so much. He didn’t like looking forward to it, didn’t like perking up when he heard the ladder rattling, didn’t like hanging on to every word and the increasing frequency at which Scout was making him laugh. He didn’t like how much harder it got every time to bite his lip and hold back from chiming in.

He was a killer, he reminded himself. A hermit from absolutely nowhere Australia who didn’t deserve the company of other people. This was the best thing that could’ve happened to him, and he couldn’t push his luck. If he pushed his luck, then he’d drive Scout away and be left alone again. Scout only talked to him because he was quiet anyways, because he was a mystery. Remove the mystery, and the draw would be gone, and he’d be all alone again. Already this was selfish; he should just shut up and be grateful.

He stared down his scope and drank his coffee and was grateful.

-

A bad day at work, followed by a bad weekend, had Scout hesitating at the base of the watchtower.

Some part of him was rational, and knew he was being ridiculous. But another, stronger part of him couldn’t seem to make his feet move, was repeating a steady mantra to him.

Not wanted.

Sniper didn’t like him. Sniper didn’t want him around. Sniper was just too polite to turn him away, too nice, and was annoyed with his constant talking and wished he would go away but didn’t have the courage, didn’t want to be rude. He wasn’t wanted. Or maybe Sniper just pitied him, maybe Sniper just heard his assorted sob stories and thought, man, poor little idiot kid, might as well set out a blanket for him and let him talk. Maybe Sniper was collecting everything he said for blackmail.

The worst idea to run through his head: maybe Sniper had never been listening to him in the first place.

If Sniper wanted him around, he would’ve said something, right?

Scout didn’t go up into the watchtower that day, or the following Thursday. He didn’t bother looking for Sniper in battle, sure that Sniper would be ignoring him the same way he always did, pretending he didn’t exist the same way he always did.

When he went to the store that weekend, hoping to pick up some chips and soda, he found himself staring at a six-pack of beer. He didn’t even particularly like beer, usually, he preferred other drinks. But he was looking at this six-pack of beer, and he wound up buying it.

It wasn’t some cheap garbage, it was craft beer. It was more expensive.

He drank exactly three of the six and tried not to think about it.

-

Scout was gone. He never showed up. Sniper ended up getting so freaked out about it that he went to check the Medbay, sure that something bad had happened. Medic was there, working on something bloody, but not Scout. And Scout wasn’t in the workshop either, or the workout room, or the rec room. He got a lot of strange looks from his teammates as he asked around. For some, it was the most he’d spoken to them in months.

He was halfway to Scout’s room when he realized he was probably being strange, manic. Scout was allowed to not want to come visit him. He wasn’t offering anything. In all the time—six months, he realized, they’d been doing this for six months—that Scout had visited, all he really had to gain was Sniper occasionally humming or laughing, and exactly three beers on the hotter days and a tobacco-scented blanket in the winter. There was no reason for Sniper to expect him to show up on the little schedule that had been established. He started to feel silly.

Then he didn’t show up on Thursday either, and…

He felt worried, of course he felt worried, obviously he felt worried. One of the only good things to ever happen to him, and it just stopped showing up one day. And he wanted it back. God, he wanted it back. Two days and he already felt more lonely than he ever felt in his life. Maybe having felt even the smallest glimmer of companionship had made him soft, but damn it, he wanted to feel it again.

He made a decision.

-

Scout was lacing up his shoes before battle on Monday when a pair of boots stopped in front of him. This wasn’t strange. What was strange was that it wasn’t the calm amble of Engie, the sturdy stride of Heavy, the confident stomp of Soldier, or the crisp stride of Medic. No, it was an awkward shuffle. A rough clearing of a throat. He looked up, and it was Sniper.

He froze up. “Uh,” he said. “Hi.”

Sniper was looking at him. That was strange. In something like 95% of their interactions, Sniper was facing away from him down a scope, occasionally viewed in profile as he took a sip of beer or coffee, depending on the weather. And the other times were in battle itself, both of them otherwise preoccupied. But now Sniper was looking at him, thumbs shoved in his front pockets. After a second he moved to take off his sunglasses and immediately glanced off to one side, tapping them against his palm.

It looked like a nervous tick. This was strange. Sniper was never like this. Scout was confused.

Sniper glanced towards the rest of the team, all a short ways away, chatting amongst themselves at various volumes. When he spoke, his voice was rough and low and quiet. If Scout had to describe it, he would call it a dark orange.

“Are you doing alright, mate?” he asked, tone hesitant.

Scout remained frozen. Stared. Stared.

“It’s just,” Sniper continued, stumbling awkwardly with his words, unable to make further eye contact with Scout. “You haven’t come around in a while, and I suppose I just got… worried, that something happened—“

Scout got to his feet, whirled around, and angrily started digging through his locker, jaw clenched. He eventually pulled forth a pocket knife and angrily started ripping the grip tape from his right hand. He didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry,” Sniper said quickly, holding up his hands, taking a step back. “I, I just thought it was odd is all, I didn’t know if—“

Scout silenced him by holding his now-bare wrist directly in Sniper’s line of sight, a few inches from his face, Sniper flinching back minutely at the motion. When he realized what he was looking at, his eyes widened. He looked at Scout. Scout looked at him.

“I’m seriously, actually, 100% going to murder you,” Scout said calmly, matter-of-factly, and Sniper had never thought about it before, but he would absolutely describe Scout’s voice as a bright red. Shaking hands moved to undo his watch, and he held his own wrist, the left, out for Scout to see.

Silence for a few seconds. “I—“ Sniper started to say, but was cut off by Scout.

“I cannot believe that you’ve never once since I’ve met you ever talked one-on-one with me. You’ve never said a fuckin’ word to me, Snipes,” Scout said, more than a little pissed off.

“I didn’t realize,” Sniper defended, a little weakly. “I thought… I thought I had.”

“Man, how many people can say they fuckin’ monologued to their soulmate for hours and hours before meeting them, huh?” Scout asked, hands on his hips now.

“I’m sorry,” was all Sniper could think to say.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Scout declared, glaring at Sniper hard. “I’m gonna meet you after work like usual at the watchtower, and you’re takin’ me to go get pizza, and I’m gonna eat pizza while you talk about yourself. You’ve got about—“

He did some math in his head.

“Somethin’ like sixty hours or so of talkin’ to do to make it even,” he decided. “Got it?”

“Got it,” Sniper agreed weakly. Scout moved to sit down and start lacing his shoes up again, but before he could get to it, Sniper spoke again. “I’m… glad you’re okay.”

Scout looked back up at him. The sudden influx of nervous honesty on Sniper’s face made him feel surprisingly guilty. “Sorry. I just… got all up in my own head. I figured I was probably pissing you off, so I stopped going.” A pause. “I wasn’t pissing you off?”

“No,” Sniper replied. “Not at all. I… liked… having you around.”

Scout fought hard against the smile threatening to take hold. “Good to know,” he finally said.

“And I should’ve said something earlier,” Sniper continued, words flowing forth in a rush. “I should’ve told you, I should’ve—let you know. I really should’ve.”

“Well,” Scout shrugged, and finished tying his laces up, and stood to face Sniper head-on. “Now you told me.”

A pause between them, Sniper clearly working very hard to maintain eye contact.

“It doesn’t have to be pizza,” Scout amended, picking at his remaining hand’s worth of grip tape. “It can be anything. I just wanna hang out, like, away from base.”

“Like a date?” Sniper asked, slowly, hesitantly.

“Sure,” Scout shrugged.

A pause again. “Pizza’s fine,” Sniper seemed to decide.

“Alright,” Scout said, and smiled at him. “Alright. I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah,” Sniper agreed, and took his cue to walk away. He stood off to one side of the rest of the team, moving to take a drink of his coffee. His wrist caught his eye, and he looked over the words again, and for the first time in his life, they didn’t bring him dread. They brought him hope.

[georgianadarcies]

Last question and sorry for the spam: if you could rewrite Gilmore Girls from season 4 onwards, what would you do with the characters, or specifically with Rory?

Anon I would like to thank you for asking this question because I have a lot of opinions and a lot of ideas and I love having an excuse to put it on everyone’s dash so let’s do this 😌

First of all, there would be absolutely no affair between Dean and Rory. I’d still want there to be Dean hate so maybe he’d try to start something, but Rory would end it before anything could happen, which is what makes way more sense for her character anyway.

There would also be more focus on her studies at Yale, because I felt like the writers touched on it lightly and gave her one episode to struggle with it and then they were like, well, that’s enough of that! Like Vanessa Marano said, it was really nice to see Rory’s storylines about her education be as important as her storyline about guys in the earlier seasons, and in my dream world, they would’ve kept that up. I would’ve loved to see Rory overcome her struggles with adjusting to Yale, and for there to be more storylines about her classes and things like that. Storylines about maybe her papers, or issues with a professor (NOT like Paris had though). That would continue to be important in season 4, 5, 6, and 7, where in season 7 her focus on getting a job doesn’t involve her making illogical, un-Rory like decisions, although her getting the job on the Obama campaign was really cool and I don’t know if they emphasized just how amazing that is.

Even though I am a very big L*gan anti, I think I would still have them date, but I’d make it clear that he was bad for her (I think it was clear, but not clear enough), and after he cheated I would’ve let her end it!!! I hate how he jumped down her throat and didn’t give her any space at all, and I would want to see her stand her ground and not let him manipulate and convince her yet again. She would be able to explore her feelings about him cheating and would move on, leaving behind that relationship that was definitely bad for her.

Now, Jess. Jess in the show was perfect, there just wasn’t enough. I think his appearances in season 4 were good, and I don’t think I’d change much about that, but I’d have them follow his journey to becoming who he was in season 6. I understand what the Palladinos were doing with like him showing up out of the blue, but I think they could still have it be a surprise for him to show up and for him and Rory to have the same interactions that they did. With 6x18, I like that she went to see him and that it paralleled 2x21, and while them in that episode...it’s painful, to say the least, I do like angst, so I might keep it. but I think if I kept it, I’d have to have Logan convince Rory to forgive him, but she’d end things right after that. Logan wouldn’t go get injured like an idiot so she wouldn’t just forgive him out of guilt. But after that she would see Jess again in the original series, and over the end of season six and during season seven they would have some Pacey and Joey season 3, Jim and Pam season 2-3 buildup and they’d get together close to the end. There would be good angst with a satisfying ending because they’d, you know, end up together.

I honestly wouldn’t change much of Lorelai’s storylines, minus season seven because she and Luke wouldn’t break off the engagement and they’d actually get married during the show. A wedding where Jess is the best man and Rory is the maid of honor and we get a dance with them because we deserved to get that!!!

There may have been stuff I missed but generally this is the way it would have gone!!

[mwolf0epsilon]

A story of Sammy stumbling upon siren head?

Summary: The studio wasn't the only place hiding the lurking horrors of the world.

---

[[MORE]]

Freedom had come with a lot of existential dread and lingering doubts. It hadn't been the oh so sweet respite that everyone had coveted so much, not when they were still abominable creatures made of cursed ink (and in some cases machinery). Still, for all that they'd worried, Henry had pulled through and prevailed.

He'd not only gifted them their salvation from Joey's nightmarish dream, but also offered them a way to live unafraid in a world they no longer belonged in. He gave them a house, food, clothes, a life worth living.

Never once did he ask for anything in return. A true loyal and kind friend to those who desperately needed such a charitable heart.

"You don't need to repay me. I'm only doing what's right, and besides I got that house after my uncle died... It never really felt right to move out of town with Linda and the girls, and I never knew what I was going to do with it." He'd humbly dismissed any offers to repay his kindness. "You all need a safe place where you can recover and slowly reacquaint with normalcy without anyone judging or fearing you. The location is perfect."

And it was. An isolated corner of a vast forest, with nearly no signs of civilization. Easy for Henry to check up on them since he knew where to go to reach it, but out of the way enough that not even hikers came by often.

It helped that it had a bit of a... Dark reputation. Missing cases, strange sightings, and creepy sounds in the night. A deterrent for sane people with a yellow streak.

For someone like Susie and Allison who looked human enough to pass off as such if provided with an appropriate disguise, it was a bit of a hassle. Grocery shopping (when they were in the mood to be seen by the oblivious folk in the nearest town) took longer due to such a long trek.

For others like Tom and Buddy who were living cartoon characters it was a more comfortable experience. They could go out and feel the sun upon their skin without fear of what may happen if they were spotted.

And then lastly, for beings like Sammy, the Searchers, Butcher Gang, and for Norman, it was both a stark reminder of their inhumanity, and a blissful respite from the crippling dissonant thoughts that made them oh so prone to violent outbursts.

In the woods there was no one they could hurt if they lost their senses (which was not as common a thing as it once was, but still something the Projectionist suffered with on the regular). In the woods there was peaceful silence where they could wade through the madness and regain their footing. In the woods they could almost be their former selves.

Granted this was a double-edged sword on one regard: The Projectionist tended to wander far and not recall how to come back.

If Norman ended up somehow stumbling back into society, there would be trouble. Which is why Sammy was assigned to follow him every time he felt like going for one of his "little walks".

At first the once-music director had scoffed and been incredibly annoyed at being saddled with such a responsibility. He was not in a capacity to look after himself, much less a 7, nearly 8, foot tall half-ink half-machine man that could easily render him into ribbons if he set him off. Norman's transition from coherent sentient thoughts to downright feral and highly aggressive behaviour was too unpredictable for someone who's memories tended to evade him easily.

But then, as pointed out by Allison, Susie wouldn't be able to calm him because she knew neither sign language nor Morse code (which he'd learned specifically from Norman when he was still human just for fun), and Allison herself was not overly close to him so her presence would only distress him further.

When he'd still tried to refuse, Tom had resorted to threats which he'd returned in kind. In the end it was the pleading looks of both Jack and the rest of the band that got him to relent. But not before barking at them to never say he wasn't a charitable and patient man (things he really wasn't, considering his short fuse and unwillingness to socialize when he was in a particularly sour mood).

Once he'd committed to the task, Sammy found that the sounds of nature soothed him. Watching after the Projectionist wasn't too bad either, as he thought the large monstrosity looked quite happy as it wandered aimlessly, occasionally looking up at the expanse of darkening skies. Sunsets seemed to spark something more human in Norman. Got him to sign more and sometimes vocalize his words (as painfully gritting to the ear as that may be). It reminded Sammy of... Of times long past. Ones where he'd consider this brute as a bright and very accommodating (if not a little annoying at times) friend.

A friend he dearly missed even, for no matter how much they tried, Norman would never go back to being who he was before the studio chewed him up and spat him back out as something some would consider a dubiously smart animal.

The peace also sparked something in Sammy himself. It made him feel more grounded, more like himself, to the point where his form would shift accordingly. Because their bodies were reacting to their slow recoveries.

Over time a few Searchers had slowly become Lost Ones, and a few Lost Ones had begun transitioning into human forms. There was always something a little off and cartoonish about them, but it was progress nontheless. People were remembering who they once we're, and that was more than they'd ever accomplished in that hellhole.

Sammy sometimes could see his true face reflected back by a puddle or larger body of water, but it was a fleeting thing.

At times he could even feel his unruly curls brushing against his neck and shoulders, but they weren't the dirty blond he'd remembered. They were an inky black that upset him slightly, but better than the shiny bald head he'd had for so many years. Less saddening than the yellow glow of eyes that should have been a soft hazel, and much less startling than the sharpness of his teeth. Somehow he always got the nose right, which was adding salt to injury considering he couldn't regenerate his pinkies.

The Projectionist's walks were moments of introspection. Ones where he was sure he'd be able to get his true form back, even if slightly altered.

So imagine his annoyance when one such moment was marred by his selfish distraction...

He wasn't entirely sure when he'd lost sight of Norman, or for how long he'd spaced out just staring at his reconstituted face on the nearest reflective surface, but the moment he noted just how dark it was Sammy knew he'd fucked up.

They'd been wandering for hours and he'd been so absentmindedly worrying over faded memories that he'd just let the Projectionist wander off to the nearest flower patch to marvel at all the pretty colors (prettier than old sepia and inky tones that had made their horrid existence oh so much duller). He'd gotten so stuck in his own head that he'd never noticed his charge moving off to explore further and further into uncharted territory.

They'd never gotten so close to the mountains, and now? Now Sammy was sure he'd never be able to find the Projectionist again. He'd failed Norman.

Something which he absolutely refused to let happen. If not out of pride, then out of shame. He'd rather die than return to the others without Polk in tow, knowing they'd add it to the list of things that made him a genuinely horrid person (aside from ritualistic murder and allowing Joey to manipulate him to the point of idolizing a false god). That wouldn't do.

Sammy wouldn't be able to live with the scorn. So he trekked further to where he assumed the hulking ink creature had gone.

Henry had told them stories. The ones about the people going missing. Freaky tales that had unseen horrors lurking amidst the trees and skulking in shadows. One such creature he seeked (for the Projectionist had become one of these fabled cryptids just by being an out of place being in the woods), but the others he'd heard of, although fabricated, were mysterious and spooky to him.

Having such shluck looping in the forefront of his mind like a bad film reel was troublesome. It made him hesitant the moment he heard anything that sounded out of place.

Steeling his nerves was hard. Despite being made of ink, his heart was very much still human, so he felt instinctively fearful of the unknown. Those silly stories were genuinely scaring him and he resented Henry for being such a good narrator.

With every step further into the mountainside he hoped to see the light of Norman's lens, and hear the clicking of the projector he had for a head.

He was not expecting to hear... What sounded like an emergency broadcast.

It was so sudden and confusing that it made the ex-music director pause in his tracks. An echoing call that spanned miles, like it was being projected from up high.

Looking around his surroundings he saw nothing out of place. Just rows upon rows of trees and a watch tower in the distance further up north.

Turning his head more slowly yielded the same results. Nothing that could broadcast that loudly in sight... Until he saw it...

At first glance it looked like an old siren. Rough and weathered, rusty looking from a distance. Very strange to be found this far away from civilization. But then he really took the time to stare at it. Noted just how off the towering thing was, and then realized... Those sirens hadn't any speakers. They had teeth.

As soon as his mind picked up on this very fact, he saw everything else. And then, before he could exclaim in terror, he was up in the air held in a massive far-too-human-looking hand, and being pulled closer to said teeth.

Sammy screamed as he felt the pain of being bitten into, upper torso pulled into this nightmarish thing's eager maw, only to then be unceremoniously spat out and tossed on the ground. The shock and pain made him deconstruct into a puddle and, to then aggravate the issue further, the beast stepped down on him as if insulted by the vile taste of ink.

Sammy didn't much care. He lost consciousness soon after.

When Sammy came to, the sun was rising. He was groggy from the pain and confusion of being violently assaulted by something straight out of a Lovecraftian novel, and the intense light washing over his eyes didn't help.

Wait... Light?

Blinking away inky tears, Sammy found Norman staring down at him with a posture that read clearly of concern. The poor thing had likely found Sammy's puddle form and been fretting ever since.

The composer thanked whatever god was out there that the monster that attacked him hadn't found the Projectionist. He wouldn't have had the sense to run.

"H-home. Let's go home..." He whimpered weakly, despite the creature before him being deaf and unable to read his lips properly considering he currently had none. The pitiful look of him must have clued the bigger ink being, however, as Norman scooped him up with ease and began the trek back. Sammy directed him, mostly through pointing when he seemed unsure, all the while keeping an eye for that... Siren-Head thing that thankfully found him too disgusting to consume.

The one perk of his abominable state...

Needless to say, they were never coming back to these parts. Not as long as he allowed it. Some things were better off left undisturbed.

Because, as it turned out, the studio wasn't the only place hiding the lurking horrors of the world...

[inkdemonapologist]

Who’s your favorite three characters of your batim crew

THIS IS…. SURPRISINGLY CHALLENGING….

because like, my Big Fav is obviously Sammy, for, uh, unfathomable reasons. I guess…. Sammy has a lot of potential, I feel like. There’s a lot of interesting contrast in the different things we know about him and the different states we see him in that makes him fascinating to try to put together, even though I suspect he’s just a big mess. He also falls into a lot of archetypes I enjoy….. like you have someone who starts out an overworked and frustrated second-in-command asshole who’s bad at people and then he ends up with a secret supernatural addiction which transforms him and he becomes a loyal and desperate servant to a violent monster, whom he follows with strangely genuine devotion, doomed to be inevitably betrayed??? wow, uh, that sure is, aimed right at me!!! THAT SURE IS A LOT OF DISPARATE THINGS I SPECIFICALLY LIKE THAT YOU MANAGED TO SHOVE INTO ONE CHARACTER SOMEHOW??? THANKS!!!!!!

After Sammy I have a real hard time narrowing it down between Norman, Susie, and Joey Drew.

I don’t actually know why I like Norman. I just think he’s neat!! He’s such a weird combination of factors; like this freaking cryptid guy but he’s not actually scary or dangerous, he’s just a snoop. He’s digging into all the Studio’s secrets and “sees everything” but not because he’s like, invested in bringing down the studio or wants to expose any of it or sees the horrors and wants to rescue people, he’s just …curious???? He just wants to be unnoticed and grab some popcorn and watch and like, just wants to know what’s going on???? lmao what an INCREDIBLE premise for a character. His flippant/morbid sense of humour is the icing on the cake. I love him. What the heck. How did this happen.

Susie is a character where I feel like I got attached to her because of the headcanons I’ve pondered moreso than the canon on its own; in between the tiny amounts of canon Susie info and the behaviour of the Alice/Susie combo — how much is Alice and how much is Susie is like…. EXTREMELY UP TO INTERPRETATION I FEEL LIKE? You can get SO MANY different characters out of this that are all technically canon compliant, but my favourite is a Susie who’s both genuinely sweet and also genuinely sharp, where the ruthlessness doesn’t all come from Alice, it’s just pushed to a, y’know, cartoonish extreme. Susie absolutely deserved better, but I find her most interesting when her story is a tragedy in the sense of tragic flaws — she was tricked, but her unwillingness to let Alice go, to take “no” for an answer, and her willingness to go to extremes to get what she wanted, were her undoing just as much as Joey’s manipulation, and those are the qualities Alice seizes on to make her a monster in the pursuit of being perfect.

Joey Drew is one of the few characters in Bendy and the Ink Machine that I would genuinely say is a REALLY GOOD CHARACTER in the canon without any help from fan interpretation. It would be SO EASY to just make him an evil capitalist, but they keep NOT DOING THAT? Despite it being literally written on the walls throughout the whole game that everything is his fault and everyone who remembers him resents what he’s done and every audio log incriminates him, even the ending of BatIM doesn’t solidly treat him as a villain, it’s just... an old man, admitting regrets, but without directly apologising. DCTL makes him both incredibly skeevy and incredibly…. human? Thedreamfisher’s review of DCTL has what’s still one of my favourite quotes about Joey Drew — “He finally exhibits some good qualities, but he’s working very hard to undermine them all.” They keep adding more and more detail to Joey’s life and motivation without easing up on how much harm he’s done and the ways he uses people. Like…. I can’t believe we’ve gotten this far, this much extra information about this character, and they still absolutely refuse to fully condemn or redeem him. I LOVE IT??? Joey is so many things all at once -- his dreams are genuine. His persona is fake. He’s manipulative. He’s well-intentioned. He wants to make things better and bring something great into the world. He will ruin and kill people to achieve that. If we had to make an 8 hour drive and you needed me to talk the entire drive to keep you awake, I’m pretty sure I could spend the entire time talking about Joey Drew.

Anyway, uh, that’s probably a close enough answer. My 3 favourite non-Sammy characters are — for now! — Norman, Susie, and Joey.

[nirvhannahcornell]

Firstly I would like to mention this is NOT the real nirvhannahcornell, this is a burner account made to call out her questionable and horrible actions. The real nirvhannah is known now as “josiebelladonna” and can be found here: @josiebelladonna​. She changed her URL and didn’t save this one so I jumped on the golden opportunity. 

Some of you may be familiar with Hannah, you’ve probably seen her around on your dash, in the tags of your favorites. She’s there posting fanart and fanfiction, it seems all like harmless fun on the surface. But deep below there’s a grim fuckin reality, a reality no one is talking about. We’ve all sat back and watched her hellish meltdowns. Picking fights with her “fans” because they like her post opposed to reblogging them, getting in public squabbles with her friends over petty shit. We’ve sat back and stayed silent, but I’m not staying quiet any longer. I’ve tried sending her asks to explain herself and without fail every time she’s said tumblr fuckin “ate them” so the next best thing was a public callout. Let’s see the matrix glitch this shit.

The perfect place to begin with her fucking crimes have to be how she tries to push the idea that she’s mixed. I’m fully aware it’s fucked up to call someone’s race to attention like this, and I definitely wouldn’t be if she wasn’t completely faking and tossing racial slurs around like her lilywhite ass can claim them. To my knowledge and to the research I’ve done, Hannah isn’t mixed. Her dad and brother are fully white and so is she. She’s tried to claim having “african blood” and “native american blood” (of course she says I*dian but we’ll get into that later), but from what I’ve seen there is no “african blood”, I’m 100% sure she did a test on ancestry.com and saw she was .0000001% african american and decided to call herself mixed. The “native american blood” she claims to have is ALLEGEDLY from her great grandfather, but I’d take that fact with a grain of salt because she seems to be a compulsive liar.

(Note how her racist ass unabashedly says I*jun for everyone to see. But it’s okay guys, she’s 1/64th Native American!)

(Here she is claiming to be mixed race. Notice how she says “I*dian roots” and “African Blood”. That shit busted as fuck like what the fuck does she even…)

(Here’s some more posts claiming to have “black heritage” and then somehow making it about how Joey “talked about her” on a podcast. (I’ll get into that too (: )

This isn’t the first instance of her using racial slurs publicly for you me and god to see. We’re all looking and I wish I couldn’t see. Here’s a few examples. 

(“My I*jun boy” “I*jun orange” I literally cannot make this bullshit up.)

(“My I*dian beauty” “my favorite I*dian'' (she is also grungeandmetalfanfics btw!!))

She claims she can say these things, I guess because she’s .0000000004% Native American! Makes it a-OK! I guess because she has “African Blood” she can say the N-Word then? No? Oh well, she did it anyway! 

(Her argument, I’m guessing, is she can say I*jun because Joey (an actual Native American man) says it. Which makes no fucking sense because shes fucking white she can’t say it.)

If this wasn’t insane enough. As if it could possibly get even more horrible. She is overall just genuinely a bad person. If you ever supported her art with a like, you would know. Because apparently that shit peeves the fuck out of her. Even though you’re showing your support she loses her fucking mind when you don’t reblog anything she’s produced. (I don’t blame you it’s shit anyways) And then tries to guilt all of her followers into reblogging her shit. It’s manipulative and horrible. 

(this didn’t last of course she's too full of herself to stay away.) 

Note how she makes it seem like she was blessing us with her content. Did you know she existed before this? She plagues fandom tags with her shitty fanart and fanfiction thinking we should bow to her and be fucking blessed with her presence. Maybe we should, she claims to have a fond relationship with Chris Cornell!

Oh.. Wait…

(one of the 2 interactions she had with him, both pertaining to fanart she drew. He would do this often, respond to fans and their fanarts. This is nothing special)

(Her dad calling her out on her delusions) 

Don’t let her fool you. Her and Chris Cornell didn’t know each other, they weren’t friends. Chris had no clue who she was beyond the fanart she made for him. She’s literally so deep in this fantasy she’s insane enough to think she could’ve prevented Chris’ suicide. 

(She also believed ben shepherd was in love with her. She sent him a letter and he didn’t respond. Apparently he owed something to her because she opened up to him via letter and, as you would expect a famous person who definitely has someone who goes through their mail for them, he didn’t respond. I don’t know how in the FUCK she ever got the idea that he was in love with her. I don’t know what in the FUCK is wrong with her. She eventually got pissed because she found out he had a kid with his girlfriend? And apparently he was supposed to tell her? She’s fucking delusional look into that if you want, I don’t have enough time or evidence for that one, it’s certainly a lot.) 

A new installment in her delusions is the infamous Jasta Show feat. Joey Belladonna. It’s a 2+ hour long podcast where they mostly talk about the pandemic and what not, current events going on. Allegedly, in this podcast, Joey says Hannah’s name. 

I sat through the entire podcast (Joey says holy cow about 5 fucking times) and timestamped at 106:58 they start talking about Chris Cornell. To which Joey says “oh, we talked about him yesterday because some girl was drawing some stuff- she liked him a lot. and I thought about him too.” Nonspecific. Plain. There’s no fireworks or warmth or whatever the fuck. He mentions that and moves on. I’ve timestamped it for you all, the podcast is free to listen to, you can all listen to it yourself. (The Jasta Show 517 Joey Belladonna) Unless her name is “some girl” there was no name drop. 

(no one gave a shit because it wasn’t that big of a fucking deal “some girl”) 

Don’t let her fool you with her delusions. She also makes it seem like her and Krista (Joey’s wife) are friends when really Krista likes most all posts that are #joeybelladonna on Instagram. They aren’t close, they aren’t buddies or whatever the fuck. 

(Here’s that one shit she keeps talking about raw fucking format or some shit idk it’s a fucking side project Joey started that’s probably not even Joey messaging her they have 140 something followers I don’t even feel like getting into this dumbassery. Fucking clown.)

If you aren’t convinced enough in her insanity. Hannah has literally used Cliff’s accident as a plotpoint in her shitty fanfiction. Yes,that's right. She’s used Cliff Burton’s real life tragic accident as a plotpoint in a fanfiction with Joey and Lars. Not only did she do that, but she shoehorned Joey into the fucking accident. Like they’re all fictional characters. It’s fucking vile and insensitive. 

(The fucking post she linked was the infamous pic of Lars, James and Kirk after the accident)

In conclusion, Hannah is batshit crazy. She’s insane. She wants us to believe she’s mixed because she’s obsessed unhealthily with Joey Belladonna and wanting to look and be like him. She wants us to believe she’s friends with all of these musicians, that they’re in love with her. That they were close. None of this is true. She’s just a lying, rude, self centered, fucking psychotic bitch and if you know her I’d suggest staying away. 

Not even her fucking friend wants to be involved.

[illfoandillfie]

Seaside Rendezvous - Part 3

READ PART 1  // PART 2

Request:  Can you please write a hc for going on a island vaca at a resort with your family after college finals and you meet joe (also a college student) and you two see each other a ton but you are always with your family so not much happens but flirty small talk and you both end up having a lot of sexual tension and go into one of your rooms when you’re family is out and just some smut happens?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (FINALLY) 18+, Golf related double entendres, not-quite-hate sex, unprotected sex,but also protected sex, choking, oral sex (m & f receiving), mild spanking, shower sex, mentions of edging, handjob. 

Words: 8969

A/N: Ummmm, I don’t even know what to say. I kinda can’t believe I’ve finished it. Or how many words I took to do it. Thank you so fucking much to the anon who sent in the original request because this was so much fun to write. I really hope you enjoy the payoff for all the bullshit I put them through in the first two chapters. It might just be because I’m still so close to this story but I kinda wanna write more for them so if you have blurb requests about what else they got up to or whatever send them my way lmao

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@ramibaby  @briarrose26 @d34d-0n-th3-1ns1d3  @painkiller80 @stephydearestxo​

You cursed yourself when you woke and remembered what was in store for the day. You cursed your Mom for being so intent on manipulating your love life. You cursed your Dad for being the type of guy who would make friends with the first man he talked to. You cursed Joe for being the first man your Dad talked to. And for everything else that’d happened last night. And then you cursed yourself again for getting stuck in this position and for flirting with Joe in the first place and for not sleeping with him when you had the chance. The very quick orgasm you’d been able to rub out before the rest of your family returned to your rooms wasn’t anywhere near enough. It wasn’t what you wanted. Maybe if you’d had a bit more time it would have been more satisfying. But you hadn’t been sure how long they’d take to finish their meal or whether they’d come straight up to the rooms or hang out downstairs for a while, so you’d rushed. It was almost worth it, though, to see your mother so surprised to find you sitting up in bed reading. She’d almost jumped when she realised you were there, hand landing over her heart like you’d sprung out from behind a wall and yelled boo. Of course, she’d had to pretend otherwise in front of Erin, not wanting to explain where she thought you’d actually be. Thank god she was going to be occupied all day because you did not want to have the ‘I just think you should socialise with people your own age’ talk that was all poorly hidden code for ‘I’m hungry for gossip and your sex life is the best thing to potentially tell everyone about’. The reminder that your Mom and Erin would be busy made you curse Joe again. If he’d not been such an impatient dick about it, you probably would have had the entire day to yourselves, to spend however you wanted wearing as few clothes as you deemed necessary. Instead you’d be spending the day with your Dad. Playing golf.

Joe, wearing a red polo shirt that looked way too good on him, greeted you stiffly when you met up with him and your father at the entrance to the golf course, obviously displeased about how last night had gone. He barely looked at you as you hired out clubs and made your way to the first hole, though you thought you might have caught him peeking at your ass once or twice. It’d be a lie to say you’d not specifically chosen the shorts you wore because of how good they made you look, though you weren’t sure if it was because you wanted to make Joe suffer a little or to tempt him into touching you again. Maybe a bit of both. Either way, he remained aloof, mostly ignoring you, for the first couple of holes anyway. If your Dad noticed any tension between you and Joe, he didn’t let on, talking to you both about the game and constantly sharing tips he’d picked up over the years. By hole number three he’d had made a couple of bad hits, having to head into a sand trap to retrieve his ball. Which left you and Joe. Standing there. Waiting. He cracked first. “Didn’t expect you to show,” he sneered, one eye on your father. “And miss this? You’re in a charming mood by the way,” “I’m not in any mood, I’m just a little tired.” “Sure, if you say so. Just, tell me this one thing. Is that because you were up all night thinking about me?” There was a triumphant cry from your father as he finally managed to get his ball free of the sand. You clapped as he returned to where you and Joe were standing, taking a theatrical bow. “Sorry, I’m usually a bit better than that.” “Don’t worry Dad, me and Joe aren’t very good so it’s probably better for us if you’re having an off day.” Alright Joe, you’re up,” your Dad said with a laugh, “Just remember to grip your shaft softly and stroke it smooth and you’ll get it in the hole no problem.” “And maybe don’t feel the ball up under the dinner table,” you said soft enough so only Joe would hear as he walked past you to line up his shot. You weren’t sure if he was just generally terrible at golf, or because you’d got inside his head, but either way it took him three tries to hit the ball and when he did he sent it off in the wrong direction. “Oh, bad lucky Joey,” you teased as he scowled at you. “As if you could do better,” “Watch me.”

You did do better, thank god, though not by much. You hadn’t gotten to the hole, but you were at least in the right general area. It was enough to piss Joe off further, his competitiveness coming out with his frustration. At the next hole he managed to get the ball in first try, earning a hearty congratulations from your Dad and a half-hearted one from you. “It’s because he took my advice,” your Dad said proudly, “I told him to put his head down and spread his legs a bit and see Y/N, he did it and it worked, straight in the hole. Maybe you should give it a shot too.” “Yes, Y/N, why don’t you try spreading your legs a bit more,” Joe laughed. You resisted the urge to ask him for a hands-on demonstration as you took your own, much less successful shot. As soon as your Dad was far enough away, leading you on to the next hole, Joe turned back to you. “Careful Y/N, more shots that pathetic and I might just win.” “You got lucky.” “Only right one of us should.” “Aww, you still mad I left you high and dry last night? Your hand just not good enough?” “Don’t act like you had any better. Besides, you don’t know I didn’t go off and find someone else. You’re not the only girl who can dress slutty and play at being the damsel in distress. “Nice try but the jealousy card won’t work. Already admitted to thinking about me all night.” “I did not admit that.” “Not intentionally but I can see it in your eyes. I saw it the moment you said good morning to me.” “Fine, maybe you’re right. I was thinking about you alone in your room, touching yourself. Trying to decide if you’d be using your fingers or if you were extra naughty and brought a toy with you.” “And how’d that work out for you?” “A shit night sleep actually. And I couldn’t make up my mind, both were such nice images. But I did come to one conclusion,” “Yeah?” “Yeah. You were thinking about me while you did it.” You were left scrambling to form a coherent sentence as he laughed and walked ahead.

By the ninth hole things were overtly competitive. Your Dad’s game had picked up, putting him well in the lead but you and Joe barely noticed, much too desperate to outdo the other to worry about anything else. Days of frustration, sexual and otherwise, had boiled into a competitiveness neither of you realised you were capable of. The in between moments, while you were unable to focus your aggression onto your balls, were spent at each other’s throats. Whispered comments ranging from insulting your game to insulting his manhood. Condescending tones and lazy double entendres. When you were trying to determine which of your clubs would be best Joe leaned over and cockily offered you one of his. “You could try my 5-Wood. Bigger head means you might have a chance of getting close.” “Sorry, Joe. Your clubs don’t have long enough shafts for me, couldn’t possibly be satisfying.” When he took an inordinately long time to make a shot you told him he could bang it in the back or slip it in gently but either way to hurry up. He fumbled it completely. Then, after your next swing he made sure to complement you on your bounce while staring directly at your chest. At hole 14 things got a little more personal. You casually let slip that you were, in fact, using your fingers last night, and asked Joe if knowing that for sure would have helped him sleep better. “You’re a fucking cock tease, Y/N,” he growled, “I don’t think you ever intended to sleep with me, you just get off from leading people on. Well I’m fucking done with it; you can go choke.” “Oh, kinky. Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.” He huffed out a breath but otherwise didn’t respond.” “Don’t go quiet on me now, right when I’ve learnt about your little kink. You’d like to choke me, wouldn’t you? Did you think about it last night, while you were, y’know...?” you made a jerk off motion with your hand. “You’re right, I would like that, anything to shut you up for half a minute, but don’t pretend you’re not hot for it too. I can see you dripping from here.” “Well, you know me, I get off from being a tease apparently. You’re up. Try to hit the ball straight this time.”

The score at the end of the game was in your favour, but not by much. Your Dad just smiled at you as you cheered, amused by your celebrating but Joe was gritting his teeth. “Well that was fun,” your Dad said glancing at his watch, “do we want to play a few more rounds? It’s still fairly early,” “Actually, I really should head back,” Joe said, all smiles and polite words to your father, though perhaps a little more tart than he normally would have spoken, “I’ve got a thing booked for this afternoon so I probably should go shower and get changed. It’s been fun though; we should do this again.” “Not to worry Joe, thanks for indulging me today,” they shook hands and then Joe shouldered past you to return his clubs. “What about you Y/N? Up for some more?” “As fun as that sounds, I think I might head off too. I’ve been thinking about a mocktail and a bubble bath for the last three holes. Since the room’s free I might make hay while the sun shines.” "Cold drink doesn’t sound half bad now that you say that.” He walked with you back towards the main part of the resort, laughing and chatting about the game you’d just played, and commenting on how he’d missed having your sanity round the house. Joe was a little way ahead of you, but you determinedly kept your eyes anywhere but on the back of his head. On the off chance that he might turn around you didn’t want him to think you were staring at him. At the entrance to the lobby your Dad bid you farewell, heading off in the direction of the bar and leaving you to make your way upstairs.

Inside was quiet, most guests already out enjoying the sun and the sea. A handful of people milled around by the front desk with their suitcases, waiting to check into, or out of, their rooms and a few people wearing not much more than their bathers hurried past as you approached the elevator. The only other person waiting to head up to their room turned, eyes following a bikini clad woman, though he stopped once his vision met you. “There she is, The Tease. Heading off to make some other poor bastard miserable?” “You’re only miserable because you suck at golf. Fucking sore loser too, running off the second you found out I’d beat you.” “It was two points, it barely counts.” “Three points,” there was a ding and you followed Joe into the elevator, “And you of all people should know it’s not the size of the score that matters, only who you fuck over with it.” The words were barely out of your mouth before Joe was on you, pushing you up against the back wall and kissing you hungrily. If you’d been shocked by his sudden movement it didn’t last long, quickly giving way to the need to kiss him back. Your nails scraped at his shirt as you tried to press your bodies closer, helped by his hand sliding down to squeeze your ass as he pulled your hips into his. He leaned his other arm on the wall beside your head, anchoring you into place, not that you had any intention of trying to escape. He kissed you like he did at the market, needily and messily, though the intensity was a hundred times more, desire and frustration burning through you both. “Thought you said you were done with me,” you tried to sound disdainful as he pulled away, still firmly pinning you to the wall, but the words came out as more of a gasp than a sneer. “I said I was done with your teasing,” he managed to achieve the harsh tone you’d been going for as a second ding caught you by surprise and the elevator reached your floor, “C’mon,” he half growled, grabbing your hand to pull you down the corridor towards his room. You couldn’t help but giggle as he pushed you inside, still pissed off with him but more than a little giddy at the prospect of finally being able to do what you’d been wanting to do since you first saw him. He towered over you as he backed you further into the room, towards his bed, roughly tugging at your shirt, pulling it over your head and throwing it to the floor, before doing the same with his. You felt the back of your legs hit the bed and for a moment everything froze, both of you breathing hard. And then his hand was on your shoulder, pushing you down across the mattress, your legs dangling over the edge. He wasted no time in pulling your shoes and socks off as you unhooked your bra, tossing it aside. Your shorts came off next, followed quickly by your panties. “Already soaked for me,” his voice was rough and so were his fingers as he pushed your legs up and open wider, and delved into your heat, stoking the fire that had been building for days as he stretched you out. “Y-you say that like you haven’t been sporting a s-semi every time you’ve thought about me for the last-t four days. Oh fuck.” You whined as Joe wrenched his fingers free of you to dig through his bedside draw, ”No need to complain, gonna give you something better than my fingers in a second,” “Y’know your dick is in your pants, not the draws,” “Remember when a simple kiss could have you speechless? Fuck I miss that.” “What are you doing?” “Looking for a condom, swore I put them here.” “Are you clean? Cause I’m clean and on the pill and sick of waiting.” “You sure?” He asked already tugged his short and underwear off. “Yes, I’m sure. Just fuck m –,” you were cut off, breath catching in your throat as he thrust into you. “What was it you were saying about size? Seems I’m big enough to shut you up, finally.” And then he paused, swallowing thickly and squeezing his eyes shut as you both adjusted and revelled in the feeling.

The moment didn’t last long before he was taking you roughly, pushing gasps and whines from you with every snap of his hips. Neither of you were patient enough to slow down, desperate for a release from the energy that had pent-up with every flirtatious look and teasing word. “That - oh! - that the best you can do?” Joe didn’t bother to answer, just growled as he leaned over and moved one hand from your thigh to your throat. The tight squeeze of his fingers and the weight of his palm pressing into you made you clench down on his dick. He let out a low chuckle, “Knew you’d enjoy that. Been begging for it all morning.” You clutched at the sheets as he grabbed your ankle in his free hand and pulled your leg up, knee bent and foot resting over his shoulder. “Jesus,” he groaned as the change of position allowed him to sink deeper into you. All you could manage was a choked moan as he fucked you relentlessly, still squeezing your throat. He dropped his fingers to your clit, rubbing it in harsh circles that only made you moan more. “Please tell me you’re close,” he grunted. “Mmhm close, fuck Joe,” “Say that again,” “’m close,” “My name, say my name again,” You did one better, moaning his name as he released your throat completely. The rush of breath returning to you flooded your system making everything feel heightened, sending you careening into your orgasm. You chanted his name as you rode out your high and were still repeating it when he kissed you again, pulling out and following you over the edge, covering your stomach with his cum as your noses bumped together and you whined against his lips.

“Well,” you said, a little nervously, as he stood up and held out his hand to pull you up too. You felt a little unsteady as you stood, but Joe kept hold of your hand, his other reaching out to brush some of your hair behind your ear. “Yeah.” “Worth the wait?” “Absolutely.” He leaned in to kiss you softly, all traces of his previous mood gone. He was still standing close, foreheads almost touching when you softly said, “I gotta pee. And clean up,” waving a hand in front of your stomach. You both laughed as he let you go with a, “shit, yeah, of course,” and a lingering look. When you returned to the room he was waiting for you, bed covers draped over his lap as he leaned against the wall, a pillow shoved behind his back. His head was bent, attention focused on something in his hands though it was drawn back to you when you spoke. “So, that was something,” “Yeah, um, definitely something.” What’s that supposed to mean? You climbed into bed next to him, leaving a space between you as you made to lean against the wall like he was, blankets pulled a little higher to cover your chest. Instead he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side, shuffling closer so you could lean into him properly. “What you got there?” You pointed at the object that held his focus, a small package wrapped in brown paper. It crinkled as his fingers moved over it. “This,” he said, “was meant to be a goodbye present. I was going to give it to you on the last day we were both here as, umm, just like, a little, I don’t know, keepsake? It was going to come with a very funny note about how much fun I’d had fucking you into oblivion, or how your pussy was worth sneaking around behind your family’s backs or something like that. I haven’t written it yet, but it would have been fucking hilarious.” He paused, running his thumbs over the brown paper again, still looking at you, “Instead, I’d like to give it to you with an apology. For being such an ass.” “Joe, y-,” “I know you’re about to say I don’t have to, but I do. I was a dick. I knew you were specifically trying to keep your family uninvolved and I still did…. everything I did, and then I acted like a jerk to you today. So, I’m sorry.” He held out the package, but you didn’t take it straight away. “For the record, this is very sweet and you didn’t need to buy me anything…” “I know,” “… But I also wasn’t going to stop you from apologising. I’m really glad you did because last night sucked. But some of that was on me too. I was a bit of a dick too. But maybe not quite as much as you were,” Joe laughed and squeezed you tighter, “Will you just take the gift already so we can forget all that. It doesn’t matter.” You reached out for the package, sitting up a little straighter and unwrapping it slowly. The necklace and earrings he’d offered to buy you at the markets fell out onto your lap, a bright white and yellow plumeria on each item. “I went back and got them, that day at the market, after we separated. Do you like them?” “They’re lovely.” “I thought it’d be nice for you to have something physical you could keep, even after we leave.” “Thank you, I really love it,” you pulled him down into another kiss. “And again, they were going to be attached to a note about all the sex we, theoretically, had.” His face was serious as he spoke but there was a barely contained laugh in his voice that made you laugh too. “So, you’ve been imagining us having sex?” you swept the jewellery into your palm and leaned over to place it on the bedside table, “that demonstration just before, was that something you’d imagined?” “That was….not how I thought it’d go,” he said with a chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head, “not the first time anyway.” “How did you think it’d go?” “Less rough, for one. A bit clumsy and stuff but more…. intentional than it ended up being.” “So, not a spur of the moment thing after hours of winding each other up?” “Definitely not. I was going to be much more prepared. At least have a condom within easy reach. I found them by the way, I was looking in the wrong draw.” “You’re such a dork,” you giggled, shifting yourself to straddle his lap, looping your arms around his neck as his hands fell to your waist. “Think you’ve told me that before,” “Because it’s true. But I also imagined it’d go a bit differently.” “Different how?” “Like you said, less rough. I was also going to be on top, umm, because it’s been a while and I thought it’d be better if I was more in control.” “Y/N, shit,” Concern was written over his face but you cut him off before he could ask if you were okay. “No, it was good, Joe” you brought your hand to his cheek reassuringly, “really good. I’m happy with how it actually happened.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, smiling as he paused just before your lips touched. His breath was warm on your lips and you thought he probably would have said the same of yours, except that you’d stopped breathing. You closed the gap, a series of soft shallow kisses that gradually lingered longer, became deeper. Your chest felt tight and there were butterflies going wild in your gut. Perhaps it was the conversation you’d just had, vulnerable and candid, or just the dramatic shift from how you’d interacted earlier in the day. Whatever it was had you feeling more nervous than you had when he pushed you against the wall of the elevator or even when he tore off your clothes. He was more careful in the way he touched you, more deliberate, so you gathered he was feeling something akin to what you were. His fingertips rested softly against you, contrasted against the faint marks left from where he’d grabbed you so tightly before. Perhaps being so open had been a mistake. It wasn’t something you usually let happen after only knowing a guy for a few days. But, then again, it wasn’t like you had forever with Joe, just a few short weeks. He pulled you tighter against him, chests pressed together, and you tried to shut off your brain, stop overthinking and just focus on Joe and the moment at hand. It was slow this time. Before you’d been in a rush, desperate lust driving you to move fast and hard, spurring each other on. A feeling like if you didn’t hurry up and fuck you’d lose the chance. Even before that, when you’d kissed at the market, when you’d gotten so close in your bathroom, it was always rushed for fear of being caught out. But this time, there was none of that. That frantic need had mellowed. There was no clock to outrun, no chance of intrusion from well-meaning but unwanted relatives. You could take your time, soak each other in. And you did. Dragging your hands down over his shoulders until they rested against his chest, able to feel his heartbeat speed up under your palm. He brought his lips to your neck, pulling sighs and heavier breaths from you with each slight scrape of his stubble. Even when you finally rolled the condom down his shaft and lowered yourself onto him and he brought his hands up to cup your breasts and you moaned as you rode him, even then it was tender, almost delicate. A quiet sort of desire that drew you onwards until you were muffling your moans in his neck and quivering as you came undone

Afterwards you cleaned up and began to redress. Joe had slipped his underwear back on while you were in the bathroom, before collapsing back onto the bed. “What are you doing?” he said softly, watching as you picked up your shorts from where he’d thrown them into the floor. “You can’t expect me to walk back to my room half naked,” “I don’t go back to your room just yet.” “But my family…” “Are all busy,” he kneeled up and grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards the bed, “Your Mom and sister will still be occupied with the hula show and your Dad is probably having a nap or relaxing by the pool. We still have time.” “I don’t want them to see me leave here,” “They won’t. Just come back to bed for a little longer.” You worried at your lip for a few seconds, thinking it over. You’ve spent the last half a week wanting nothing more than to be in Joe’s bed, why are you in such a rush to leave? Finally, you nodded and dropped your shorts again, climbing back into bed in nothing but your shirt and panties. Joe wriggled closer, throwing his arm over you as you curled into him. “I’ll check if the coast is clear for you before you leave. And I’ll come up with some way to throw your mother off, okay?” “Thank you,” “Least I can do.” You shuffled around, getting comfortable, and lay your head against Joe’s shoulder. “Can I ask you something?” he said softly, “you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” “Sure, what is it?” “Your Mom mentioned a breakup, last night. I assume that’s got something to do with why,” he waved his hands around the both of you, “this is happening.” “Yeah, kind of. I guess I just need something casual at the moment, no strings, no labels, just fun.” “I can do fun,” “Yes, you’ve made that abundantly clear. What about you? There a particular reason you’ve had to come to Hawaii to get laid?” “You kid but that’s not actually that far from the truth. Started with a bad breakup more than a few months back. And I mean bad. Been in a bit of a dry spell ever since. One of my friends suggested I take a break after we were done with exams, just head off to somewhere new and use the time away to find myself or, whatever hippy bullshit he’s goes on about. But I figured, fuck it, why not go somewhere new.” “How’d you pick Hawaii?” “It was cheap and sunny. And there was a high chance of seeing some cute girls in bikinis.” “The three most important things to think about when booking a vacation.” “Well, seems to be working out well enough.” He let his hand slide down your side until it landed on your ass, squeezing it to make you laughed. “So what do you have in mind then? To throw Mom off I mean. Gonna make it a whole lot easier to sneak around if she’s not constantly watching us.” You talked quietly for a bit longer, plotting a potential plan, but, both worn out, it wasn’t long before your breathing evened out and you fell asleep with your head in the crook of Joe’s neck, his soft snores filing the otherwise silent room.

Waking up was hard, the nap not having lasted as long as you would have liked. Convincing yourself to get out of bed was harder still. You knew you had to so you could get ready to meet your family for dinner but the draw of staying cuddled up to Joe was very tempting. You hadn’t realised how much you’d missed the feeling of being so physically close to someone since you’d dumped Eddie. Plus, staying meant you got to make out some more and, really, that sounded like a wonderful way to spend the night. With a sigh you pushed yourself up and finished getting dressed. Joe stirred as you were slipping your shoes back on. “Where’re you going?” “Shower. And then down to dinner,” “What time is it?” “It’s like, six o’clock, just about.” “Shit, really? Guess you should go then.” “I’ll come back later, after Erin’s asleep,” you grabbed the jewellery Joe had given you from the bedside table, already planning on wearing it to dinner. “Pretty sure the last time you said you’d be back, you ended up ditching me to go drinking with your parents,” “Well if I don’t show up, you’ll know where I am. See you later.” “Wait!” Joe sat up suddenly, throwing back the covers “I said I’d help you sneak back.” “Stay in bed, I’m sure no one will see.” “No no no, I’ll check. Don’t want you getting mad at me again.” “I wouldn’t,” “You’ve withheld sex once before, I’m not risking it again, he laughed, throwing a shirt and shorts on, “besides, couldn’t let you leave without…” his lips were on yours in a heartbeat as he pulled you close. “That’s so unfair, making me wanna stay,” “Guess you’ll just have to make sure you come back then. Now wait here for my signal.” You chuckled as he slipped out the door, his footsteps treading slowly down the hall until he was in sight of your room. A moment later there was a knock at the door. You peeked out to find Joe, hand held up beside his face like a gun. He put a finger to his ear like he was listening to a hearing device, “Coast is clear. Safe to move. Go! Go! Go!” You laughed as you followed him quickly back down the hall, his finger gun drawn the whole way, holding it out as you rounded a corner. When you reached your room he waited until you’d pulled out your key before announcing, “The eagle is in the nest.” With a final glance around to double check you were definitely alone, you called him a dork again, leaned up to kiss him once more and then ducked into your room, grinning.

Dinner went slower than you wanted, but no one suspected you were lying when you said you’d spent the afternoon on the beach. Erin, unhelpfully, announced that she and your Mom had also been on the beach, but it was large enough and busy enough that it was reasonable for you not to have seen each other. There was also a question raised about your jewellery, but you covered by saying you’d bought it the day you bought Erin hers but had forgotten about it until that afternoon. Other than that the meal passed incident free. Afterwards you all made your way out to the pool to relax and have a drink or two. The only interruption was a brief lecture from your mother. From her position on a lounge, she caught sight of Joe heading towards the bar. If he’d been closer she probably would have called out to him, instead she suggested you go and get her a refill. Before you could do more than sigh and swing your legs off your own lounge chair, she threw out an arm to stop you. Joe was leaning against the counter of the bar, chatting up another girl. Her eyes narrowed as if she were trying to read their lips despite how far away she sat. She couldn’t miss it however when the girl wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to Joe. “Would you look at that. You know, this is what happens when you play hard to get Y/N. There is a time to make a man work for your attention, but a vacation is not it. The girls back home will be so disappointed for you.” You lay back down and tuned her out as much as you could, trying not to smile at how well the plan you’d hatched had worked. After that it was just killing time until you could go upstairs with Erin and wait for her to talk herself into exhaustion. Patiently, you listened to her babble about the tiki statue she’d decorated, pointing out all her artistic choices but refusing to let you pick it up off her bedside table for a closer look. When she finally did fall asleep you watched the clock tick for another fifteen minutes, just to make sure she was really out. Then you changed into your bikini and a robe and left the room as quietly as possible.

Joe answered after the first knock. “Should start calling you beaver,” you said as you stepped inside, noting the confused look Joe gave you, “because you’re so eager.” “Oh, my mind went…somewhere else entirely.” “Perv!” you laughed, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Is it pervy to ask what you’ve got on under the robe?” “A little but I’ll let it slide.” His eyes raked you up and down as you slowly pulled the belt of your robe loose, letting it fall open. “You wore it,” he grinned, meeting your eyes briefly before lowering his gaze back to your scantily clad body. “Had to compete with the pool bar girl somehow,” slowly, you let the robe slip off your shoulders, falling to the floor in a heap. You lay a hand against Joe’s chest, walking him further into the room, “If you want I can make this quick, so you’ll be ready to meet her later.” He gulped, shaking his head, “I don’t think making this quick is going to be a problem.” “You don’t even know what I’m going to do yet,” you kept your eyes locked on his as you ran your fingers along the waistband of his shorts, sinking to your knees as you tugged them down along with his underwear. “Jesus,” he whimpered, watching closely as you spat into your palm before wrapping your hand around his cock. “You weren’t lying were you? So hard already. Guess I better get started then.” Keeping your eyes up, you gently began to kitten lick around his tip, gradually trailing your tongue further down the underside of his shaft and then dragging it back up to focus on his tip again. When you decided he was suitably worked up, his breathing heavy and uneven, you took him between your lips. His hand fell to the top of your head but he didn’t try to force you to take more of his dick, instead just rested it there as you set the pace. You bobbed up and down on his cock, deliberately going slow so you could adjust. Every so often you’d return to lavishing his head with kisses and licks before sinking back down and hollowing your cheeks. When you felt your jaw getting tired you pulled back, slowly working your hand over him instead. “I’m not gonna last much longer,” “I figured, from the why you’ve been panting and moaning.” “Can’t blame me, you’re very good at this.” “Well, I try. If you want I can try deepthroating you until you cum.” “Fuck, you can do that?” “It’s been a while, might require a position change but yeah I should be able to. You up for it?” “Yes, god yes. Where do you want me?” “Might be easiest if I lie on the bed.” “Sure, whatever you think is best.” You giggled at how earnest and excited he sounded as you took his offered hand to stand up again. You took a second to stretch your muscles, knees stiff from the rough carpet, before climbing onto the bed. “This gives me a little less control than before so if I need to stop I’ll tap you okay?” “Yeah, of course. I’ll start slow. One question though,” “Shoot,” “Can I choke you again?” “You mean while you’re fucking my throat? Yeah that sounds hot. Ready?” Joe nodded as you got as comfortable as you could be with your head hanging over the edge of the bed. You were reminded suddenly that this was the exact spot he’d fucked you hard after you’d come back from golf, except you were turned the other way around. A shiver running through you at the thought. When you were ready you gave Joe a quick tap to let him know and then tried to focus on staying relaxed as he slipped back into your mouth. You could feel his hand resting against your throat again, not squeezing, just gently tracing his fingers and thumb up and down your neck as he slowly worked his cock deeper. The sensation of his fingers helped you stay calm and focused as you held onto his hips, controlling his movements as much as possible. As he gradually fucked you deeper, drawing extra gags from you, he brought both hands to your throat, thumbs almost overlapping towards the base of your neck, squeezing harder the longer and faster he fucked you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he panted, “can feel my dick moving in your throat. Under my hands. Holy shit that’s hot. Can see it too, when I move my hands away.” He did exactly that, releasing your throat so he could watch his cock move under your skin. It wasn’t long before his hands were back in place though, pressing down on the bulge. You hummed as you felt him tighten his hold a little more. “I’m, fuck, I’m g-gonna, gonna cum.” You squeezed his hip a little tighter to let him know it was okay. It was all the invitation he needed, holding himself deep in your throat and squeezing tight as he moaned through his release. When he finally released your throat and stepped back you rolled onto your stomach, coughing a little as you tried to get your breathing back to normal. “Are you okay?” he asked, rubbing your back as the coughs subsided. “Yeah, I’m great.” “You’re fucking incredible is what you are,” he tilted your chin up so he could kiss you softly, “But you’re going to have to stop wearing that bikini for the rest of your vacation because, after that, I’m not gonna be able to see you in it without cumming in my pants.” You chuckled as he sat down next to you, leaning your forehead on his shoulder. “Just give me a couple minutes to collect myself and I’ll return the favour,” “No rush, I’m a little worn out myself. You still got that vodka?” “Yeah, umm, think it’s in the wardrobe.” You patted his leg as you stood, head still a little dizzy from having hung upside down, and made your way to where he’d indicated, finding the bottle almost as soon as you opened the door. “Balcony?” He nodded as he pulled his pants back on, following you out. This time you both opted for the chairs, rather than sliding to the floor, but you pulled them so they were next to each other, facing out across the ocean. You unscrewed the lid and took a swig of the vodka, before handing the bottle over. For a minute you sat in silence, listening to the waves against the shore, passing the bottle between you. Until Joe’s voice cut through the quiet. “So, what’s on the cards for tomorrow? Your Mom booked another activity that you’ll be stuck doing?” “Nah, don’t think so. Well, I think I’ve been uninvited from whatever she had planned. She’s pretty disappointed about you chatting up other girls and me not being visibly upset by it. Don’t think she can stand to look at me right now.” you laughed. “Does that mean you’ll be free all day then?” “Yeah. I’ll have to double check in the morning in case she’s calmed down, but I should be.” “Cool.” “Any requests for what I should wear?” “ Hmmm,” he leaned in, making a face like he was thinking hard, “don’t really mind as long as it’s easy to remove.” You thought he was going to kiss you again but instead he grabbed the bottle from your hand while you were focused on his lips, leaning back as soon as he hand it in his grasp and taking a sip. “Fuck you, I was drinking that,” “Think you were a little too distracted to drink. Besides I’m cutting you off again.” “Bullshit, I’ve barely had any,” “No, but I want you on the bed.”  You giggled as he grabbed your hand and practically pulled you out of your chair, leading you back inside. The vodka was almost dropped in his eagerness to get you out of your clothes again, but you caught it in time, leaving it safely standing on the bedside table as he pulled at the ties of your bikini top. As soon as it hit the floor Joe grabbed your hips and turned you towards the bed, giving your ass a small spank as you hurried to lie down. “We should talk about what we’re into,” he said nonchalantly as he followed you into the middle of the bed, kneeling between your parted legs. “What, like bands and books and shit?” “No dummy, kinks and stuff. Since we’re working on a strict time limit, we should probably discuss it, make sure we’re both having fun.” “Okay, now?” “Later, when I’m not eating you out.” You laugh stuttered into a whine as he dropped his head to press a kiss to your bikini bottoms, right over your clit.

He made you cum twice with his mouth and then once again on his cock, fucking you into the mattress while your nails left marks along his back. After, while your legs stopped shaking and your heartbeat slowed back to normal, you and Joe talked some more. He lay on his stomach, head propped up in his hands, looking up at you as he explained that you absolutely could start calling him Beaver, since he felt he’d earned the nickname now. Your fit of laughter hitched as you noticed the clock on his wall. “Shit, is that really the time? I should go,” “Already? You’re ruining my plans Y/N,” “What plans? I don’t believe you’ve ever made a plan in your life,” “Excuse you! I’ll tell you, I had big plans. Plans that involved cuddling you while we drank some more.” “As fun as that sounds,” you chuckled, “if I stay, I’ll fall asleep here. And if I fall asleep here it means I won’t be in my bed in the morning. And if I’m not in my bed in the morning I’ll be in for another lecture about looking after my sister and a whole bunch of questions I don’t want to answer.” “That’s fair, I guess.” “Besides, I’ll be back here tomorrow…or today I guess.” “Okay,” he exhaled the word against your stomach as he left a kiss there, “But I’m going to have to fuck you, hard, to make up for it.” “Oh, of course. Wouldn’t expect anything less. Though maybe something more, a spanking or something.” “You’d be into that?” “Mmhmm,” “We really need to talk about what else we’d be into.” “Tomorrow, when I come back, we can make a list and then check them all off.”

True to his word, when you returned to his room the next morning he greeted you with coffee he’d ordered from room service, and a discussion about which kinks turned you on and where each of your limits lay. But once you had it all sorted out it took almost no time at all for him to have you face down ass up on the bed, pounding you through two solid orgasms as he slapped your ass. And then, after a little recovery, he had you again, a leg wrapped around his waist and your hands pinned to the wall above your head. It seemed that, now you’d actually been together, it was all you wanted to do. In the moments when he wasn’t touching you, you could almost have said you missed it. Missed the warmth of his hands, the taste of his mouth on yours, the way he could make you feel with just his fingers let alone any other part of him. He strongly hinted he wanted to have you again, perched on the bathroom sink like he would have the night he came to your room had you not been interrupted, except that you had to leave. As part of your mother’s punishment for letting Joe get away you were once again on babysitting duty. The whole afternoon was to be spent keeping your eye on Erin while your parents joined a couples only hike. “Honestly, I’m starting to think this was about more than being starved for gossip. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’d convinced herself that we’d miraculously discover we were going to the same college and end up dating for real. That sort of romance novel bullshit. Probably had the wedding planned already.” “Hey, we knew we’d have to steal moments between activities and stuff. At least we can do the whole running-into-each-other-by-accident routine while your parents are away. I’ll help you watch Erin.” “That’s lovely of you, but you don’t have to.” “Y/N what else am I gonna do? Plus I like Erin. She’s a sweet kid, for the most part.” “You will have to keep your hands to yourself though. She spots anything and she’ll go blabbing straight away.” “I think I can restrain myself for a few hours,” “Really? Not been doing so great at the whole restraint thing the last couple of days.” “Fair point. Maybe you should give me an incentive to behave,” “Well if you don’t I might just have to tie you to the bed and edge you for a while,” “I said give me an incentive, not tempt me into misbehaving. You keep making suggestions like that and I’ll finger you by the pool just to make sure you follow through.”

That afternoon was a strong indication of how the rest of the vacation was going to go. You sat on the edge of the pool, watching Erin as she tried to prove she could do a handstand in the water. After you’d been there for about fifteen minutes Joe wandered over, both of you making polite small talk - nice to see you, what have you been up to since golf. Erin didn’t suspect anything, just yelled at Joe to watch her do a handstand before diving back underwater. Joe sat beside you, fingers almost but not quite touching as your feet bumped together below the surface. You chatted as vague acquaintances pushed together by repeat accidental meetings, though if anyone had bothered to listen in they would have heard Joes lewd comments about how your bikini turned him on and your downright obscene response asking if he preferred you in the bikini or naked and spread out on his bed. It was playful and flirty and led to another night of making near pornographic noises as checked off a few more of the kinks you both liked. And that was the routine you found yourselves falling into. You’d spend time with your family during the day, flirt with Joe whenever the opportunity arose, and then spend a good few hours of the night fucking each other’s brains out. On the floor and the bed and with your hands holding tight to the balcony railing. Occasionally, when you had adequate warning, Joe would end up on the same activity your family was doing, making polite small talk with your father as your mother tried to subtly convince him to make a move on you. You found it incredibly nerve wracking but, more than once you took the chance to fool around a little when you became separated from the group. Teasing touches as you both leaned against the same fence to admire a view, stolen kisses behind the bus, and once a quick handjob while you were meant to be snorkelling with everyone else.

On days when your family didn’t do much more than lounge around on the beach you’d make an excuse and disappear for a few hours, and then return hoping you didn’t look to fucked out for them to notice. You used every excuse you could think of – a spa session you’d booked the night before, interest in seeing a hula show or joining a yoga class, or just a desire to get out of the sun for a bit. You even disregarded everything Joe had told you about faking sick being a bad idea, pretending you had period cramps and a headache to get you another whole day to yourself. Joe came to your room that time, letting you pull him into the shower laughing. You’d had to slam your hand over his mouth as the room door opened and Erin yelled something about forgetting to grab the sunscreen before she hurried out again. It was a close call but also a huge turn on. You’d been right when you told Joe sneaking around would make things more fun.

Sometimes you’d catch sight of him and leave your family on the beach or by the pool under the guise of getting a new drink and instead end up with your tongue in Joe’s mouth, practically dry humping around the corner from where they sunbathed and joked around. When they asked what took you so long, you’d tell them it was so busy you’d lost their spot in the crowd. Joe never seemed to mind the sly nature of your meetings or the need to be quick and quiet. He’d spot you and wait for a moment when he could come up behind you and and whisper something about how it was a struggle to keep his hands to himself when you looked so good. Then he’d tell you to meet him in the lobby bathroom or whatever other secluded spot was nearby. When you arrived, he’d waste no time in pushing you to your knees or bending you over with your hands against a wall while he pulled your panties to the side. Whatever was easiest and fastest. The first time you’d been a little surprised, whining as he pushed you against a wall and kissed you hard. “Jesus Joe, I’m coming back to yours in like four hours, you couldn’t wait?” “Those shorts you’re wearing are so fucking hot, can’t blame me for wanting your cunt so bad.” He only got more intent on pulling you into dark corners and private areas when he saw you wearing the jewellery he bought you. You took to wearing the necklace and earrings constantly because every time Joe saw you in them it seemed to turn him on, something about it proving you were his to use, and it’d inspire another mindblowing round of sex, only made more satisfying by the days of stolen moments being as good as edging to work you both up.

It was everything you’d wanted when the idea of a holiday romance first occurred to you. Days spent relaxing, taking in the sun and the sea air and exploring a stunningly beautiful part of the world. Nights spent indulging in casual sex that wasn’t just a laugh but also made you feel incredible, with someone you enjoyed talking to and spending time with. Just what you needed to truly put your breakup and everything about that relationship behind you. It wasn’t ideal, what with having to dodge your family constantly but keeping it secret meant it was just yours and there was something very satisfying about that. All your previous relationships, no matter how brief, had been shared with others. Your mother telling everyone about your first kiss, your friends making you spill details about one-night stands and more long-term partners.  But everything that happened between you and Joe was just for the two of you. The distance stopped your friends from getting involved and you were doing everything in your power to keep it away from your family. And that felt really good. Of course, as soon as you got back to college that would change. Enough time would have passed that you wouldn’t have any problems answering your friends demands to know if you’d seduced anyone, Justin Timberlake or otherwise. You’d spill the beans about everything, of course. After all, they deserved to know how right they’d been.

[ashflynns]

☄〔 HUNTER SCHAFER, TWENTY ONE, TRANS FEMALE, DREAM TRAVEL 〕╰ ASHLEY FLYNN just came over half - blood hill . you know , the child of HYPNOS who was claimed two months ago ? i’ve heard chiron say that she is PLAYFUL & EMPATHETIC , but if you ask the aphrodite kids , they’d say she’s LAZY & TACTLESS . i’d say they remind me of sleepy smiles and under-eye bags, messy buns and an unmade bed, running from your problems with bare feet & trying to hard to keep your friends but losing them anyway, especially since she’s FOR THE NEW CABINS . ( ✎ joey , 24 , she/her , bst . )

*insert nice graphic here aka for the love of god someone find me a photoshop link*

hi! its your resident sea witch joey here ready to bombard you with an encyclopedic knowledge of the greek pantheon and uk criminal law?? i guess??? if u dont already know, i’m the one with six (6) cats. i combined my task and intro because im LAZY and bad at intros so i’ll use paige’s stats as a crutch whoops. ash is the lazy laid-back stoner friend everyone needs. she has no trauma because she DOESN’t DESERVE IT so maybe the real trauma will be the friends we make along the way.

𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 .

name :  ashley finn

nicknames : ash, whatever cute names u wanna give her

birth date :  4th february (aquarius squad speak up!)

gender :  trans female

pronouns :  she/her

ethnicity : white

nationality : irish american

hometown : ?? idk american towns SUE ME but she’s from SOMEWHERE in oregon

demigod abilities : sleep manipulation, dream manipulation, dream travel

cabin number & godly parent :  cabin fifteen, hypnos

how did their godly parent meet their mortal parent? :  hlhglkhg so i thought it’d be funny if they met when ash’s mum participated in a sleep research study. i think i’m hilarious.

𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 .

faceclaim : hunter schafer

height :  5′11″

hair colour : blonde

eye colour : blue/green.

dominant hand : leftie!

distinguishing features : her hair’s actually super curly she just straightens it a lot bc curly bedhead is a bitch to brush through in the mornings.

dress style : ugh this is gonna be hard to explain but like. you know those alt hippy stoner girls?? like that. likes baggy clothes and neutral colours. a lot of quote unquote ugly clothes with clashing prints. band t-shirts and whatnot.

𝕔𝕒𝕞𝕡-𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 .

go - to  weapon : HAH implying she willingly participates in capture the flag. she’d go for a xiphos because it’s the most basic dfkjg

ambrosia :  garlic bread. yeah she’s that kind of bitch

favourite camp location :  zephyros creek!

their opinion of their godly parent :  really unbothered tbqh. but she’s a very laid-back person to begin with. a ton of her school friends had absent dads. if she hadn’t come to chb so early then maybe the whole ‘i have powers with no explanation’ would’ve caused some resentment but hey, he’s a god. he’s a busy man. and being raised by a single mum made up most of who ash is, so it’s not like she’d change anything.

age they were claimed :  this year baby!

how they were claimed :  look dad’s timing was off but as far as he was concerned he claimed ash when percy made the deal. ash kinda always knew it was gonna be him so it was no surprise.

stance on the new cabins : for  the  new  cabins.

their opinion on lyssa pentelute :   as far as ash is concerned, lyssa’s whole shtick is just an excuse to shit on the kids who don’t have to suffer the same way she did. so, uh, she’s kind of a bitch? i have this in a bit more detail down below.

quests :  i’m gonna tentatively put no for now (unless anyone else on quests decides they’d like to have dragged ash along!)

𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 .

positive traits : playful, empathetic, laid-back, friendly but not a pushover, patient

negative traits :  lazy, tactless, aloof,  spacey, struggles to express said empathy, lack of focus

mbti :  Iinfp-t, the mediator

alignment : neutral good

hogwarts house :  hufflepuff

kinsey scale : JUST ASK IF SHES A LESBIAN OKAY?? THE ANSWER IS YES.

archetype :  somehow she matched equally with the innocent child and the wise old man *insert so what is the truth meme*

what candle scent are they :  vanilla

goals & desires :  well this one was tricky bc ash is a simple girl with simple needs and really just doesn’t want anything to change. she wants a life without the pressures of work and commitment, but that’s just not gonna happen, is it? her short-term goals are to practice fighting that urge to stay in bed all day and try to be a bit more productive. it’s not going well.

fears : explained more below but basically she has a fear of destroying all her relationships due to a lack of connect with the world

hobbies : when she’s not napping? probably gaming, going on nature walks, baking treats.

habits :  biting nails is the worst one. spacing out. you know that thing where you just?? stop focusing your eyes?? but you’re still tuned in to the conversation? that.

𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 .

so hear’s the short version kfjglkdfgjd ( for NOW ):

ashley’s mum, niamh, is third-gen irish immigrant. ash didn’t have a luxurious life or anything. they mostly lived off benefits or whatever niamh could pick up from her extremely lucrative dog-walking business. how she met hypnos was a literal joke. they met when she participated in a fucking sleep study and i guess they hit it off. typical story of dad fucks off/single parent yadda yadda. there’s no real ~~trauma~~ to ash. yeah, transphobia sucks and high school really sucked all but her mum’s been super supportive since she first came out and no one at chb has given her shit yet. niamh’s still around and ash goes back home every couple of months to visit her. they have a pretty good relationship. it’s all cool.

i feel cliche saying she was a ‘dreamy’ girl but dreamy or spacey really is the best word for it. mixed with your typical demigod adhd you get a kid who really struggled with school. well, it’s not like she struggled - ashley’s a smart gal - but the teacher’s struggled with her. i guess it was hard for them to understand that ash actually does her best thinking when she’s asleep.

struggles to keep friends - maintains a persona of aloofness and apathy but actually cares way too much. the narcolepsy hinders her ability to form proper connections ( although she’ll argue the sCiEnTiFiCaLlY pRoVeN fAcT that napping with someone for half an hour does more to build trust than anything else ). and no one’s really that fond of ash popping into their dreams. maybe they shouldnt have so much to hide, huh?

her biggest ‘’’ inner struggle ’’’ shall we say is the pressure to be productive. let’s face it, she IS a lazy bitch, and that’s pretty much an inherited nature. getting a job sounds like hell, she sucks at combat training, she really could NOT be bothered with camp politics and god wars and whatever else. why can’t she just sleep and dream walk all day? monster’s are out there man, she’s gonna die some point soon anyway. but that doesn’t mean  she doesn’t feel guilty about it all. it’s kinda hard not to.

so, moving on to the ISSUE AT HAND. so when you walk through dreams and you sleep for 20 hours of the day, it’s not hard to figure out who your dad is, even if he never turns up. like, seriously, who else would it be? so yeah, sure. she was only claimed a couple of months ago. but she wasn’t completely in the dark like some of her other campers, and she respects that, truly. she got the luckier end of the stick and its not hard to understand the resentment among the minor demigods and the unclaimed.

HOWEVER, she’s very much FOR the new cabins. as explained above, lyssa’s a bitch whose taking her mummy issues out on others. ash loves bunking with the hermes kids but she’d like a space of her own and at the end of the day who the fuck is lyssa to make that decision?

𝕖𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒 .

pinterest! (its a wip there’s not much IM SORRY)

spotify (now this is the one thing i will never let u down on)

wanted connections coming soon!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: Seto Kaiba's First Kidnapping

It’s Christmas vacation, I have Mannheim Steamroller on repeat, so much chocolate just an arms reach away from me. And I have purposely given myself nothing to do as an attempt to teach myself to do nothing.

So lets watch something weird and revisit Zero.

For those new here, I have been also reviewing most of Season Zero. If you don’t know what that is, you can my recaps in order by clicking this link here.

And like last time, I am not actually affiliated with Team Millennium, and I hope they don’t mind that I am capping their episode. You can find them on Youtube where they are slowly redubbing this season into English, and um--this next episode is the last episode they have! So I don’t know how I’m going to recap the rest?

Probably the same way I did in the first episode where it’s a lot less dialogue and more just...my reaction to it.

And, as always, my disclaimer for the new people that this was made in the 90′s and based off of the OG manga and it is...not the same show. It’s problematic. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s a counter-culture anime from the 90′s. Though this episode is pretty tame, honestly. Weird, but tame.

So, we start off the episode with a very lovingly drawn sky, not sure why it’s on THIS show but it’s here. This post apocalyptic sunset.

And staring directly into this sun going supernova is Seto Kaiba in his green hair, just brooding...

Not sure how he has this view from his Pemberly style mansion, but I dunno, maybe the city is visible from the backyard, or Seto just has really good vision. Either way don’t worry about it, we see Seto vibe out and visualize weird stuff all the time.

So, spurned by his hate for his classmate that beat him in cards once, Seto decides it’s time to enact his revenge by...what sounds a lot like some weird Lord of the Rings Lore and I dunno if it’s a bad translation or I just don’t really know what the hell he’s going off about because I never read the Yugioh version of the Silmarillion. Probably both.

See, while the first couple episodes of this show have different variations on Youtube, this one really only had the Team Millennium version in English (which is fine, there’s just some confusing things) and then the other version I saw skipped half of the episode because I guess they decided this part was boring or something. So forgive the fact that I’m flying on the seat of my pants here and I assume y’all will know all the deets I don’t know. For once, my contribution will be...kind of a lot less words.

So lets get right to it.

(read more under the cut)

Seto, who is in so much denial from Seasons 1-4, that I’ve headcanoned is actually cursed to never admit magic is real, has decided to call upon the (checks notes)

4 Game Masters

Yeah, that’s a new mechanic, these are a thing now. Don’t worry if you never heard of them before, I’ve been capping this show and I also have never heard of the legendary 4 magical Game Masters either.

So at this point these statues start glowing all creepy, and because it’s Yugioh I just kinda assumed...they’d do something.

I’m starting to think that maybe that was supposed to be symbolic, actually. Maybe there was never actually magic in the statues. Maybe it’s part of Seto hallucinating, as always. This whole show kind of runs on being a sort of metal fever dream whenever people get intense about games, so I’m probably not supposed to align it with any established magic laws anyway. It’s just I never know when things are real or just aesthetics, which I enjoy, quite a bit, that it’s open ended--but still it’s somewhat confusing as to if these gargoyles are...a thing now or were just always set dressing to kind of remind us of the cards that come later in the episode.

But, remember the spooky indoor gargoyles in your mind, keep it there, these menacing gargoyles over a fiery sunset...

OK now lets meet the real villain.

There he is. Our villain. And his name? Ripley Sheldon.

MAN to go from spooky gargoyles to Ripley Sheldon. There’s a name. That’s a name all right. I’ve only seen one episode of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon is a name forever ruined for me.

So--sidestory--this one time, my friend was at a wedding in Santa Cruz, which is a pretty beachy hippie town that always smelled like weed before it was legal, and there was just...a doll at the wedding. My friend was seated at a dinner party table just right next to this doll, and the family was like “Ah yes, this is the doll, you have to speak to her. She’s a member of the family.” and my friend had to suffer roleplaying with this doll for hours.

So before you’re like...there’s no way grown ass adults are this weird with dolls in public.

Yes. It happens.

Ah, and it’s the first instances of the Kaiba Corp logo and it’s the same. Complete with helicopter, because that Logo is never done until it’s surrounded by a fast military vehicle of some sort.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh great.

Yo remember that one episode where Yugi almost got his legs chopped off by Arcana and Arcana’s wife was being held behind a curtain, and at the end of the episode Arcana pulls back the curtain and his wife was a manikin the whole time and her head fell off?

Getting those vibes.

Back at school, Miho is busy being the most manipulative human being, this time with losing at cards. Like y’all I am TRYING to give Miho the benefit of a doubt here, but it seems even the translators hated Miho so much they had her refer to herself in the 3rd person. I am trying, really I am, sorry to everyone who loves Miho, I will leave that door open as I watch these--that maybe Miho will...grow on me.

But not this episode.

And then this happened. I guess from the breeze of Honda leaning over too far.

Believe it or not, Yuugi’s vertigo will come back later in this very episode. This whole bizarre scenario was just foreshadowing.

But for reals, Yuugi is so FRAIL in Season Zero. While I appreciate the contrast between Yuugi and Yami Yuugi, I gotta recognize how much Yugi has evolved over 4+ seasons because Yuugi is just...eggshells. Every part of him is polite little eggshells.

But in contrast, you have Anzu who is ready to fight in every single scene she’s in and I’m OK with that.

That and the very clear romantic direction that is just...simple. It’s very simple in Season Zero. That’s nice.

Anzu isn’t even possessed by two ghosts. In fact, between Anzu and Yuugi right now, there are 0 ghosts. So weird. So kosher.

Speaking of weird,

Y’all, I have no explanation for this. I only know so much Kanji.

The translation I watched tried so very hard to do what they could with this, and kudos to them, but...this is what happens with translation, it’s just a very hard job sometimes. So I get how they decided to form this joke into English, but if anyone is like a Japanese speaker and gets the pun that was clearly happening here, feel free to youknow, share the knowledge.

Unfortunately the undubbed episode that exists on Youtube that I found edited out this part so they didn’t have to try and translate it, lol. Either way, I appreciate Orange Jounouchi a lot, as well as the background squids on Squid Jounouchi.

Can you imagine just being in high school, and you get summoned to the Nurses Office? Can you even imagine what rumors would start from that? Like I know Seto wants revenge against Yuugi through cards, but I think he just did. I think he did like maybe one of the worst things you can do to a High Schooler just now. May as well page over the intercom that Yuugi has to pick up his yeast infection ointment.

And this is where we meet...a ridiculous satire. This 30 year old beautiful woman flirting with a child disaster who cannot balance while seated on a low chair.

And predictably, Yuugi lost because things just got THAT weird and awkward. Dunno if the translators put that in there for fun, or if that’s honestly how it was in the original. My bet it was probably exactly that weird in the original. Mostly because this show has a lot of “stranger danger” set ups to teach little children to never trust bad adults and this just seemed like exactly that type of set-up. Don’t trust the overly nice nurse or she’ll steal your cards in a game, kids.

After this really awkward card game (and I’m not going to bother to dive into it because I don’t talk about the card mechanics here), we find out...that Seto’s just been staring at them...the entire time.

Like it has such a voyeuristic vibe to it, it really makes you wonder about Seto’s whole deal just an awful lot. Like Season 1-4 doesn’t really ship Yugi/Kaiba, in my opinion (and just my opinion, I know how y’all feel about the ship and that is a-ok, all ships are welcome here)...but Season Zero ships A LOT. It’s not a serious ship by any means, it’s clearly a crack ship, but they...very clearly know what they’re doing with Seto being this obsessed with Yuugi in this way, omg. It just sounds like a kink to me.

So, ways to beat Yuugi Muto:

steal his stuff halfway through the game, try to kill yourself, rock paper scissors, try to kill Joey Wheeler, or dress up a sex doll like a nurse and have a gross old man have it play cards while he makes a sexy lady voiceover.

(Y’all I’ve been to my share of arcades in my life and I think I’ve only seen like 6 pinball tables total. Do good arcades only exist on TV? I think it’s all a lie.)

Then, because I guess this episode wasn’t going anywhere, Yuugi goes to the arcade to play some video games. The video game is unimportant, and it’s never been brought up before, but he’s dead set on finding it. Because unlike Yugi, Yuugi just doesn’t really have a goal in this series so he just kind of flutters around until someone tells him what to do.

TBH that’s a pretty 90′s thing for a show or a movie to do. To have characters just exist and have things happen to them, but in all, they’re just...wandering. So it’s not so much a knock on the show, it’s just that sometimes it’s a little of a transition to go from a goal being something physical, like finding the lost city of Atlantis before every human’s soul is absorbed into the great Leviathan, to the goal being more of a mental acceptance--Yuugi just learning to accept this curse he doesn’t even know he has yet, and trying to find acceptance in his group of friends.

With Yuugi, we’re kind of just watching his daily life, which is mostly watching him try and sneak games into every spare moment that his local adult has turned around. It has a very slice of life feel to it, but minus the near constant innuendo slice of life tends to have (at least the ones that have been recommended to me)

Now, because this is a show about people getting a real EXTREME comeuppance every time they break the law, what will happen to Yuugi for ignoring his Grandpa’s wishes and going to the arcade before going home?

First, we meet this mushroom haired person.

That’s right kids, NEVER stop by the arcade on the way home from school--1.) The local arcades are almost always 90% boring racing games and busted shooters that came out on the Nintendo 64 when I was a child and 2.) You will get abducted.

And then we get this face swap.

Kaiba just really loves dress-up. No wonder he was hanging out with a guy super into dolls. And like, I went into before how Seto Kaiba is always doused in facsimile energy. He loves faking it up, and apparently that’s been true since Zero.

He introduces that he will have four challenges from four Game Masters and uh so welcome to the...I don’t where this is, but a weird place full of dolls that must exist somewhere in Domino.

I guess this is to make it seem like they have an audience to watch Yuugi fail but even still...what?

So we get kind of a mirror to the scene at the beginning with Miho crying and Honda telling Yuugi to apologize for beating her, except replace Miho with Seto and Honda with this guy who really likes dolls (and Miho is a lot like a cursed doll). Like, if there were a theme to this episode it’s “grow up and stop apologizing when you beat someone in a card game” which isn’t a terrible theme, especially in this show that is about Yuugi learning how to adult.

In fact the “grow the hell up” theme is so strong we have a villain who is just...a big baby who carries dolls around. Kinda makes you wonder if the show would have eventually had Yuugi just...grow out of toys and games completely for the finale. Like in the Yugioh we have now, he can’t, because first off they licensed a hell ton of toys, but also because Yugi does games for his actual job. Even if Pharaoh was gone, Yugi still has to play games all the time. In this case, he could just...be using the games to learn how to do adult things, which is actually why we give kids games in the first place.

But, speculation aside, it’s at this point that a card play knocks Yuugi off of his chair and he passes out. Despite the fact that this isn’t a Shadow game and there...shouldn’t be any magic present. In fact, I don’t think any part of this game in this episode required opening the door of darkness. When he switches to Yami shortly after falling off of his own chair he’s like...yeah this is fine. Seems all above board. No need to kill anybody

And then apparently there’s a type of Dual Monster’s card I was unaware of.

A doll-type.

So I looked it up, is there a doll type card in Yugioh?

And it seems like there’s a lot of dolls, but not like...a type, as far as I can tell. Again, I don’t play this game, I’m only here for the plot and this one just seemed like they really had to reach for Yuugi to have just the right type of card to play.

And again, because this wasn’t a Shadow Duel, our loser just kind of walks away...all the way back to Britain, I guess.

And Seto just stands there behind a window in a rainstorm to allude to his many unshed salty tears, and it cuts to Miho who I guess has learned not to cry when she loses to Yuugi now.

And then she pulls out an absolutely winning tactic. This would win, actually. It’s actually genius.

And that is a very strong

From me. Wow. No thanks. I actually don’t want to see Yuugi do a kissy face ever again, thank you.

Half of you loved that though. This is fine. We’re all different.

Anyway, I assume the game was never played, or Miho won and the show just decided not to show it. If Season Zero Yuugi is a Yuugi that makes out then...that is...shocking. Then again, we’re only like...a third of the way through? I think?

Anyway, it’s...after Christmas because I went out of town for a spell, but I’ll just...post this now. Last post before the new year.

I’ll see y’all in 2020!

[somniumoflight]

Crossover Idea #8 – Bendy and the Ink Machine/Monsters vs Aliens (Movie)

The Studio’s Inky denizens manage to escape Joey’s control and eventually attract the attention of Area Fifty-Something

Okay, so, this is an idea I’ve had percolating in my head off-and-on for a while now, and my little sister loved it when I recounted it, so it can’t be all bad, right?  The main idea for this crossover basically goes like this:

Henry has been stuck in a loop of sorts inside the Studio’s walls for a very long time, being forced to follow the “script” of Joey’s story.  However, after going through the studio hundreds of times, Henry finally decides enough is enough, and starts snatching some of Joey’s old notes and books at the beginning of every loop in order to look through them and find a solution to the whole “loop” problem. He eventually finds one: Joey actually kept his old notes from when he was creating the Ink Machine, and among his notes are spells that are being used to help him control the Studio, as well as notes that imply Joey is using the Machine to stay alive.  Henry uses these notes to take control of the Ink Machine after several loops, killing Joey in the process, but is turned into an ink version of himself on top of that, and as such can’t exactly return to normal human life without people noticing he’s literally made of ink now.  Now that he’s basically stuck here in the Studio for the foreseeable future, Henry decides that if he’s stuck here, he’s at least going to make the place less hellish for everyone, and runs off to do just that.

Fast forward a significant period of time – Henry has been working on fixing up all the people living in the Studio, from the Searchers to the Butcher gangs, to Alice when she emerges from the ink again, to Sammy and Norman and all the other former employees – and even the Ink Demon, to an extent, though not until after several months of the demon still being an enemy and trying to kill him at every turn.  The ink people are all doing sort of alright now, but they could be doing better and frankly, the Studio’s a little cramped for all the souls and fragmented souls and warped toons that Joey created in the Ink to be given actual bodies – not to mention there’s just too many bad memories here.  However, thanks to some experimenting, Henry and Co. now know that, apart from Henry, they can’t really survive outside the Studio, and as such literally cannot go anywhere.

This is when Area 5? (I can’t believe that’s canonically what the facility/organization is called like damn XD) finally hears reports of ink monsters in the old Studio, thanks to someone who ventured into the studio fleeing in terror after being chased by a territorial Ink Demon, and after some tense encounters they come to an agreement – the Toons will come to Area 5? willingly so long as they are allowed to use the Machine to build a new “Studio” underneath the facility, and have some sort of access to the surface.

Details for this Crossover:

Area 5? isn’t just a prison for the monsters, it’s also a base of sorts – the General will sometimes send the monsters out to deal with other monsters that appear elsewhere in the world, if they’re too dangerous to deal with as a human.  The monsters still don’t get out much, though.

After Henry got drafted and left the Studio, he served in the Military for several years, during that time he met General Monger, who was scouting for talented officers who might be able to handle working in the newly formed Area 5?.  He ended up working as a “monster handler” aka one of the humans that kept an eye on the monsters in the facility and while out on missions.

He sort of accidentally became friends with the four monsters there (So, Link, BOB, Dr. Cockroach, and the Invisible Man, who is dead by canon time out of old age I think), and may or may not have drawn cartoons for them.

He eventually was discharged from the facility thanks to suffering a crippling injury during one of their abroad missions, which is eventually “healed” when he turns into ink.

Anyway yeah, the canon events happen, and Henry eventually takes over the Studio by taking control of the Ink Machine the same way Joey did, and it comes with some nifty abilities.

Henry can literally manipulate the Studio around him just by thinking.  If he wants a pipe to stop leaking?  It stops.  If he wants to get somewhere quickly?  A new hall will appear around the next corner or behind the next door he opens that leads directly to where he wants to go, and is somehow quicker to traverse than normal passageways.  If he wants the Ink Machine to spit out a new ink creature in a specific form?  It will do that.

He can communicate directly with people through the ink, if he concentrates hard enough, though it can be difficult to get his messages across sometimes because of how many voices there are in the ink.  Also, he can hear and talk to the voices in the ink, which… isn’t fun.

Henry can also manipulate the ink of already existing Toons, Searchers, Lost Ones, etc, fixing up injuries, deformities, and even eventually adding new limbs (in the case of the Ink Demon, when he finally stops trying to kill Henry – the demon’s okay with his scary look, but he wants to be able to walk faster outside of Beast form, and wants a tail, damn it!)

Literally every ink creature except the Ink Demon ends up on his side after that.  The demon’s too pissed off to really consider any kind of alliance at first because taking control of the Studio directly lets Henry literally run circles around the former apex predator of the Studio, and he doesn’t appreciate being made a fool out of.  (He comes around eventually, though, mostly because Henry eventually decides that when he says he’ll help everyone, he’ll help everyone, damn it, and doesn’t take no for an answer.)

By the time that Area 5?’s people turn up, Henry’s basically the unofficial leader of most of the ink monsters, with only a few exceptions, those being the Demon and “Alice” Angel/Susie, who prefer doing their own thing even if they’ve agreed to stop hurting other people now… mostly…

The first squad of Area 5?’ers get the scare of their life when they first enter the Studio, because they get ambushed by the Ink Demon (who’s coming around to the name Bendy, but only when it’s Henry calling him that, and nobody else) and nearly die because this demon is not at all happy that more people are intruding on his Studio.  They all get out alive, mostly because Henry manages to get there in time to stop the demon from killing anyone.

General Monger nearly gets the scare of his life too when he comes to negotiate, but for a different reason – because not ONCE has the facility had to deal with an entire mini-civilization of monsters instead of just one or two before!  He’s almost relieved when the group agrees to come quietly, provided they’re allowed a lot of room to expand the place at the facility and above-ground areas so people can see the sun and stuff. Makes things much easier, and they loose a lot less men that way too.

So the ink monsters all get moved to Area 5? a few years before canon by basically having the Ink Machine uprooted and then placed in the facility, in one of the spare containment units used for Insectasaurus when his original cell has problems.

Henry is delighted to be able to talk to his old monster buddies again, and once they realize this is the same handler of theirs that used to draw them cartoons, only monsterfied, they’re also delighted for various reasons – though also a little unnerved because occult bullshit is new for them – most monsters are created via Mad Science! after all.

The Toons all adjust to living at the facility and basically make themselves a new Studio/Town that expands outwards via Toon physics.  Apart from a few accidents where some of the soldiers get turned into ink creatures themselves, everything goes swimmingly.

Then the events of the movie happen, and while Henry and Co. aren’t too helpful against the giant robot that I cannot remember the name of for the life of me, they’re sure helpful against Galaxhar.

Imagine, if you would, that wannabe alien overlord looking up from a monologue, and suddenly coming eyes-to-grin with the menacing figure of the Ink Demon, and then screaming and running like the little coward he is, because that’s what he do when faced with overwhelming odds against him, haha.

Damn, now I want to draw Bendy and the Ink Machine characters XD