#because it's my Trans Guy Name™ from back two years ago when i realised im probably a man
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i think one of the reasons i can't chose a name is that i never stick with one long enough to actually feel like i use it. and i never have anyone else call me it either, so that doesn't help.
#like i'll change the name on this blog (/some other place if the phase is long enough) but then like five minutes pass and im like#OH but i should use this one instead and change it#my posts#i think. im tired of this shit. i just wanna be a person.#it's such a relief to have a nickname in use though#like that means so much to me#but also a bit problematic bc the ppl who use it are the ones k would want to try out new names with#also i keep swinging so much on the name adrian.#because it's my Trans Guy Name™ from back two years ago when i realised im probably a man#but im also thinking of one of my friends whose legal name is a Normal name but then she has another name a few ppl use that she described#as like her 'soul name'. and i wonder if that's wat adrian is meant to be for me. because like yeah it's a normal a name as it gets.#works in both english and swedish. super duper normal. but idk using it feels. like idk. like it's not gonna mean what it means in my head#names
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