#because it feels as if it wouldn't. impact anybody at all lmao.

[ripgray-moved]

it's the way i just want people to love and be invested in peter after all the hard work i've put in him tbh.

[mamajake]

ships: (I'm unoriginal) SONAZE !

Whoo okay, I know I said two cents but I'm gonna give you a dollar. Only because this ship makes 100% cents (I'm sorry lmao)

Abcense is to love what wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and kindles the great

Sonic, in almost every sense, makes Blaze burn Brighter. Whether it is wind fueling the flames, or the beauty of Sonic (and his friends) helping her control the emeralds and become Burning Blaze.

After her first transformation, I always imagine Blaze looking at herself in awe, with Sonic gazing at her and reminiscing about the first time he transformed. I'm in love with their kinship.

Sonic has done nothing but raise her up, teaching her to trust. No matter how many times she fought back, he was still there with a smile, wanting to help.

Even when they actually fought, I like to think that Sonic only fought back in the same way that he fought Chaos. He opened her heart.

Unwanted Contact

Blaze, being a person of solitude, strikes me as a person that doesn't care much for touch. She'll happily give a hand shake as thanks or a hug just for Cream and Marine, but she keeps to herself mainly.

Now she is almost always seen holding hands with sonic and I'm all for it. It's affirmation of the trust they share.

With all their hand holding and trust, it makes this panel more impactful for me. I don't think she would lean in that close to anybody, but it just shows how comfortable she is with Sonic. (Also look at that lil blush!)

This final scene in Sonic Rush lives rent free in my head. The fact that Sonic clings on with his other hand shocks me. He knows what's at stake if they don't seperate, and yet he still holds on. Sonic doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he definitely shows it through his actions. He doesn't want her to leave.

The Tragedy

Ah yes, the nitty gritty, the stuff that makes it canon for me.

The two are different sides of the same coin. Guardians with amazing abilities who kick ass and take names. The difference? Sonic is free, he's not duty bound. Blaze doesn't live a bad life, but I'd bet it's not the one she wants. There's an envy she has for the blue dude.

Blaze sees her pyrokenesis as a curse, Sonic sees his as a gift, something that grants him freedom. Sonic lives life to his fullest, while Blaze has a whole ass kingdom to run.

I wholeheartedly believe that there's feelings for each other in canon, but what makes it work is the wall between them. They can't stay together, it wouldn't work for multie reasons. Blaze can't abandon her kingdom, Sonic wouldn't want to rule, and oh yeah, the likelihood of dimensional demolition.

Sonic isn't a character who should be in a relationship, it's not his style. If he were in a relationship, it would have to be with someone who allows him his freedom, and could keep up with him. In fact, it's why I ship Sonadow (ooh just wait until I start talking about that).

Shadow and Blaze are people who would keep up with him and keep to themselves at the same time. However, as I said, the wall between Sonic and Blaze is what makes the feelings real for me. It keeps the characters in their lines without changing things.

Suggested reading

Sonaze is my life blood and every few months I'll browse for a big ol' chunky fic to binge through. Sadly there isn't a whole lot of Sonaze around, so for everybody, I'm gonna post some suggestions.

Scars

By yours truly, unshameful plug ;)

Don't leave me alone

By @marinaiguess

Need to want

By The Maxx

Winds to my flame

By Crimsonmoon3540

Never Alone - The 100 Sonic & Blaze Story

By WolfChalk

[danoneediness]

where's the key to the cage tho

I have a lot of issues, and they are not easy to fix. I'd like to say this as a guess, as an hypothesis, but the sad thing is that there is no way to hide it and it's not only me who knows about it, but everyone around me. It's like if every pore of my body excrete some kind of signal that'd yell: "hey, look at me! I'm seriously ill! And I won't do anything about it any time soon! But come hang out because that's what makes me funny, that's what makes every situation with me an adventure. Just... be really careful because you shouldn't try to be close to me or I'll make you ill too".

It is an exageration, SE SABEEE, but still it gets kind of old, yk. Like, the fact that I know that everyone in my life will eventually leave me. That I won't be anything but a memory, a faded one, in their lives. It kind of bumps me out to think that I won't ever make a strong enough impact in someone's life, but at the same time it scares me to do it. Like... what if the impact that I make is a bad one? What if I hurt someone? What if I make them be the way that I am? I wouldn't wish that to anybody, it fucking sucks.

So why do I feel like this...

Lately I've been thinking about the moment that I changed for what I am today, and I remembered that in early 2019 I was just an innocent girl just trying to get out of her shell, just trying to get my shit together, knowing that there was a lot out there that I wanted to know, a lot of people that I wanted to meet, a lot of knowledge that I wanted to have. I wanted to live so damn bad that I was craving for some adventure, something new, something incredible. And I was too damn naïve, I was too damn stupid.

So, I was the kind of girl that would get a crush after a drunk kiss, a stupid one btw, and would do anything to meet with him, to get him candy, chocolate, to get even a glimpse of him so my day would get better. I thought I knew everything about life and that I had everything under control. I thought I knew what I wanted, but the thing is... the life I wanted for myself back then was the life for a girl that wasn't me, but who I wanted to be. It is okay to want to be different, to change a thing or two about yourself, but you can't just go ahead and literally change every aspect of your life, and just pretend that your past was different or that it didn't even exist at all.

"El que no conoce su pasado está condenado a repetirlo"

I want to keep some kind of record about this, so this will be long and I'm not sorry, lmao.

After that, there was this guy who liked me. Like... he really liked me, not only in a sexual way, but like... he liked me, liked me. But me, holding on to who I was trying to be, found the way to scare him off. We ended up being friends, of course, but it hasn't been the same. I don't regret it, tho, I'm happy I didn't lose my pretty little flower at him, but still... thinking about it, I think he made me feel like Fab, the guy with an adiction problem and no highschool.

I guess I'm only thinking about all this because I'm starting to realize that everyone moved on: he probably has someone else, the liked-me boy has someone else, the one after that obviously has someone else (wich makes me think that I should write something about the "why you wanted with her, but not with me - phenomenom")... but I'm literally in the same fucking spot that I was two years ago.

You know what IS different? It has gotten old.

I've been thinking a lot about this new guy (let's call him Red Foo). And I've really tried to make myself like him, to make myself fall for him, but it just feels so... fake, forced. Like, it feels like I'm trying to make myself small to fit in a box that he has created for me, but the worst thing is that he hasn't and it is just my imagination. I mean, no, he has, but I can still change the size of the box, get rid of it and show myself exactly as I am, and, the way that things had been going I'm sure he will still like me. But I feel like... he's not good enough for me. And I feel fucking awful because he is such a good guy, and he might be great for me in every fucking aspect, but still... I don't feel confortable. I feel like he was the one for my 15 year old me. But not my actual me, yk.

So I know I have to talk to him, and probably I should just tell him about my trusting issues, my fear of commitment, but I just can't. Because I know that even if I didn't have all that, if I hadn't gone through all that toxic season, if I had given a chance to really-liked-me guy... Red Foo still wouldn't be the one for me.

Is that _sparkle_, you know? That's the thing that's missing with him. I just don't feel it, and I could still play pretend but it wouldn't be fair. So I'll tell him. The thing is... in person? By message? Should I give a spoiler via text and then tell explain in person? I feel so fucking guilty both ways. I feel guilty if I speak, and I will still feel that way even if I don't.

Because not only do I not like him, but I like someone else. Probably holding on to something impossible, but at the end of the day it is something I'm not willing to let go off yet. Red Foo doesn't deserve this, nobody does.

So I stay like this. Alone. Because it is the best way to not hurt people. No one except for me. But I'm used to this. I was born alone, so I guess I can keep on being like this.

[kani-miso]

@officialesmilgram @hectorthedoggo

did everybody forget about the current and past ca surivor theory or what. ngl i feel like they would be put as the perpetrator AND the victim at the same time (something like amane in tpm). their case is quite similiar to amane too, the only differences being that milgram is more of an organization instead of a full on cult, and that amane gets an inferiority and savior complex out of it but es gets a god complex because of having "all the power" (no they dont have all the power lmao). the og milgram experiment is about obedience after all. but, es will most likely later on feel inferior to others and gain an inferiority complex. how so? the prisoners 'technically' became more useful than es (ex: shidou as the prisons doctor), deep cover and YONAH will also heavily impact a great inferiority complex on them (girl cmon do you HAVE to call them an inept guard). i want to add something, does anybody even remember the foreshadowing that es did in baptism of fire?? "If you and I really are the same kind of person like you claim, I'll end up like that sooner or later anyways ", there's a chance that they know they'll get hurt in t3, mentally and most likely also physically. by whom thou ask? either they themselves hurt themself or milgrams systematical punishment. when looking at the vds, you can see a pattern of es becoming closer to the prisoners then shutting themselves away from them because they're not allowed to become more than acquaintances. their dislike for the prisoners also feel like a facade, their facade slowly worned out during the t2 progression (fuuta vd, mahiru vd, and mikoto/john vd). if you really believed them when they said 'i hate you' to kazui, are you serious?? they would utmost definitely hide away their graditude against kazui because they thought he was unfaithful, not because he's a theorized homo. people seriously need to know that es' opinion and theory with ours can be vastly different because they're their own character.

also, because they shut themselves away from the prisoners, they have no one to look up to. they need an influence in their life so they know what path to take and if their only influences are literally milgram and jackalope, they would be severely messed up. not only would they be extremely lonely because they want to follow the rules to not get close to them, they would not know social cues and social norms, their morality will be extremely skewed to be correctly to milgrams justice system because they want to be a 'beautiful/ideal warden' and they'll do anything for that. nobody ever talks about how milgram is slowly making es pressure themselves more and more to the point of breaking themselves and because they'll be the one who pressures themself, jackalope wouldn't need to do anything at all, he can just neglect their physical needs and es would blame it on themselves that they didn't receive what they need.

due to their awful enviroment and the people around them are all murderers and a neglectful non-rabbit, that will definitely impact they're growth and mind. i don't even get how people think and want es to be some sort of smart-ass psychologist, what do you even expect at this point?? t3 will most probably be the worst lows they'd ever experience and its all thanks to OUR votes, haruka will most like khs, fuuta might get indoctrinated into amane's cult, muu'd be in shambles (mentally and maybe physically), shidou would be severely tired and overworked due to needing to tend to others wounds, amane would fall deeper into her beliefs, john would maybe attempt to be dormant, and kotoko most likely would hurt others or herself. all of the blame will obviously shift to es instead of the viewers (please remember es is different from the viewers, they're not a self insert). as yamanaka said, if t2 is hell then t3 is super hell. es was already really stressed out in t2 because of the prisoners conditions and now its 5x worse than before. i dont know why people barely talk about the fact a teenager is the one experiencing all of this, a brain-washed one to be specific.

also remember when es said something like, "the enviroment tends to change the person"? yeah, this is exactly what they meant.

i love you es milgram you ruined my life

dont mind how many 'also's there is, im having a blank-ish mind on my choice of words.

Actually, one more just for the funny.

What do these mean for Es? Whatever you like.

[assbutt-casbutt-ii]

I agree with you, seriously we are talking about Misha, he has done a lot for this world, and he has helped a lot of people. We know he's a good person, and he clearly never intended to hurt anybody.

Yes is super valid to feel hurt over his mistake, but he owned to it and he apologized.

I think people is being a little bit unfair to him, because i don't think he was queerbaiting all along or pretending to be someone he wasn't, i think that all this time what he was trying to do was to create a safe space for everyone, where everyone could feel acepted and important. And he's sexuality wasn't suposed to be more important than whatever his favorite color is, or any other of his preferences.

He was just treating everyone as equals, and he was entertaining us also, because breaking news! he's the performer artist and we are the fans.

^^

(warning I do have a lot of run on sentences and most of this will probably sound very repetitive. I am writing this at 6 in the morning when I should be getting read for school)

Yes!!

Even though Misha made an incredibly small mistake that had practically no impact on others, he still has a better apology than any social media influencers who has said a racial slur, or made an offensive joke.

He said that he felt awful, and sincerely apologizes for his mistake.

you could chalk it up to him wanting to give an incredibly sincere apology to everyone due to the fact that people have called him out for queerbaiting before, and that might be true, but who cares??

We need more people giving out apologies like the one Misha gave! He was making sure that he didn't want to offend anyone, so he gave out probably one of the best apologies I've ever seen.

Also, when you mentioned the fact that he was trying to make a safe environment, this brings up a really important point. Part of normalizing the LGBTQIAP+ community is reminding others that we aren't this niche little group, and people who are straight might still have 'homosexual tendencies' (for a lack of a better word. I'm sorry for anyone who found this triggering). Literally my GUIDANCE COUNSELER told me that we are all a little gay. Jensen admitted that when he heard some Jared dude got the role of Sam, he had never heard of him, so looked him up. Jensen said that he found Jared to be so hot and attractive, that he thought that he wouldn't be able to play as Padalecki's brother. Despite this, we know that Jensen is straight.

Normalizing this kind of stuff, and reminding one another that everyone has moments like that is one of the best things you can do. You can still find someone of the same gender attractive/ hot, and be straight.

I think we should thank Misha for all of this 'queerbaiting'. He is a walking reminder that people just are the way they are, and getting pissed at it really isn't the way to go about expressing your confusion and lack of understanding about these topics. It's all around you. Embrace the gay :)

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk lmao

[dhaaruni]

hmm i have mixed feelings on the deBoer article. I really like theses 3+4 and 7+8, they felt most relevant to my own experience as an autistic person who feels pretty disillusioned from the (mostly online) "autistic community".

However I really disagree with labeling chronic fatigue syndrome as a "boutique diagnosis" that people just make up for attention - I am very skeptical of people who are dismissive of the existence of chronic illnesses that doctors dont know much about e.g. CFS, fibromyalgia etc, those people's pain and symptoms have to come from somewhere

sorry for sending such a long ask lol you don't need to reply if i'm too rambly. it's a really bold article and I like it a lot but i dont want to actually reblog it bc i don't want hate lmao

Haha I love that I just post this stuff and don't get hate for it, it's probably because people are too busy sending me hate for being square-shaped or wide-bodied or whatever.

Like you, I think DeBoer's argument falls apart with chronic illnesses that people don't know much about, especially since like @amoonshapedpool noted, those illnesses also disproportionately impact women. Just because we don't know a lot about something like fibromyalgia doesn't mean it doesn't exist or isn't legitimate. Also, if you're extremely fatigued, you're probably fatigued for a reason, and if it's not fixable with lifestyle and diet changes, that's something that needs to be medically addressed.

But all that being said, I do agree with DeBoer's argument particularly about invisible disabilities. My mental health is a problem for me because it makes my life extremely difficult to live at times, not because other people judge or stigmatize me. The average person doesn't look at me and go "that's a disabled person" and that's maybe not a privilege, but it's a state of being. I mean like, guys I dated for months have literally forgotten I take medication for mental health issues when I've taken it right in front of them.

But that doesn't mean I don't struggle at all; the fact I spend hours on the phone monthly to get my meds is testament to the fact I very much do. The thing is, I can't get out of bed without my medications and I wouldn't function at all without them, but with my meds, I can be an analyst at a consulting firm, live alone without anybody else taking care of my day-to-day needs, and have friendships and romantic relationships without any unique difficulties. And of course, I can SoulCycle and Peloton and do a lot of yoga haha. My struggles are fundamentally very different than someone who's wheelchair bound for life with MS or whatever, and we need to be able to discuss those differences.

But yeah, that article was interesting to me. I don't always agree with DeBoer but he's one of the few openly mentally ill writers who isn't like a "good" mentally ill person, if that makes sense. He doesn't pretend that his mental illness is anything short of a nuisance, albeit a severe one, and I tend to abide by that line of thought as well.

[outrunningthedark]

Hi! I have cerebral palsy too and I just wanted to say I agree with everything you’re saying. Discussion of invisible disabilities, chronic illnesses, and neurodivergency is so important but within the uptick of those conversations, physical disabled people are being left behind in a very strange and uncomfortable way. I am constantly on the fence about talking about my cp on social media for fear of not being believed, being ignored, or just being excluded all together. I love that disabled people are finally being heard, but very specific groups are being left out, and that’s really not okay

Hello, love! Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. :) Thank you, also, for understanding where I'm coming from! It's a very...awkward topic of conversation because we don't want to sound like we're invalidating anybody else's experience. Sometimes you just want to scream "What about the rest of us?!" - We technically fall under the category of "neurodivergent", yet venture into that tag and it's as if the only disabilities which people are willing to recognize are ADHD and autism.  - People with chronic illness/chronic pain or another form of "invisible disability" absolutely despise having to prove that they are allowed to call themselves disabled, meanwhile when you have CP it's like "Imagine a stranger seeing YOU and not your disability? Sounds fake, but okay." - There's this EXTREMELY misguided assumption that having a visible disability gives us an advantage because we're "more easily believed". Ummm...no? I wasn't *allowed* to get an MRI on my spine for 10 years and by then it was similar to that of an elderly woman's (my doctor's actual words). I was twenty years old. (: It took 18 years for a doctor to figure out my bladder function required surgical intervention, even though my pediatrician knew I struggled with emptying my bladder "on command" and I'd been to the ER multiple times to deal with infection. Never mind that I had to find the "right doctor" who would prescribe me overactive bladder medication rather than assume it wouldn't change anything. I have terrible circulation (in summer my skin gets hot and itchy, in winter it turns bluish purple and hurts) and my doctors throughout the year are like "Well, this is to be expected when you have CP..." Okay and??? I shouldn't be taking Benadryl routinely when I'm itchy and adding an extra layer or two to combat the cold is NOT helping. I think a big thing that gets lost when comparing chronic illness/pain versus our situation is that...we don't really have treatment options? I see all these posts about taking several medications everyday just to function and, uh, we don't have that choice. We go to PT/OT (and once insurance cuts us off, we're fucked), we get Botox injections for our spasticity, we only get surgery when it's absolutely necessary... the most we (usually) get prescribed is a low-dose muscle relaxer. Doctors are not signing off on opioids or other pain-management options because we're supposed to be used to it, we're supposed to learn how to work around it, use it to our advantage. (Can't get TOO much Botox in your tightest muscles because it may actually backfire! Your body won't know how to function with limbs that are "too loose" after years of forcing yourself to push through the pain.) And then there's the way those of us who have been (negatively) impacted by our disability from the start get erased from the conversation. It seems to always revolve around people whose disability got worse as they aged, even if they didn't know what the problem was. Feeling like something isn't right and not having a name for it is frustrating as hell and I've been there (didn't know what dystonia was until my late teens, for instance - no wonder my head and neck tilts to the left, lmao), but when you have CP, your limitations as a child are what you deal with as an teenager, and then as an adult. We have the added bonus of aging just like the able-bodied. The older I get, the more easily exhausted I am, hence the power chair versus pushing myself or asking someone else to do it because I know it's not good for their back. We don't have a "pre" and "post" disability timeline. We've always been this.