#because if they keep making good guy Megatron but double down on the Starscream abuse... I'm gonna have words

[transingthoseformers]

The Megatron and Starscream dynamic is like a can of chicken noodle soup: you're supposed to dilute it with a cup of water, but not everyone knows that

[tarklesbehindthescenes]

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Double the flame, more salty rants. This one's going to be about the Netflix adaptation for Transformers War For Cybertron. Whoever is reading now, if you really enjoy the show, I recommend stopping right here because this show makes me angry. To the point that I won't hesitate to use stronger language than I usually do. Like Prime, there are some things I like about it and I will cover those at the end, but everything else makes me want to throttle the writers and producers. And if you haven't seen Siege or Earthrise, then understand there will be spoilers.

I will start with the trailers. I was excited that we were getting a new Transformers show. But when I found out that it was a Netflix production I was worried. And when I found out that Rooster Teeth was supposed to play a part in it, I thought that there would be some hope. No. My boyfriend got to the series first and was texting me as he binged the first few episodes. All caps. Exclamation points. He even reported that he was making a list of everything that pissed him off. I got to look over that list after I binged the whole season of Siege myself. It was lengthy.

In my rant about Transformers Prime, I said that the show was trying too hard to be dark and gritty. Yeah, this show took that and did a nosedive. It is trying so much harder than Prime and I can't STAND it. War. Devastating war. I get it. Shit sucks. War is hell. But you know what show did a great job of covering a good chunk of the war experience? M.A.S.H. War is NOT all doom and gloom and drama, as my grandfather who was part of the Airforce during the Vietnam War would testify. Stressful as all get out? Absolutely. I won't deny that. And I will not dismiss veterans' injuries and traumas gained from any war they partook in. It's horrible they went through the experiences at all.

But this show thinks that if it focuses on all the dark themes and grit that it'll make it hip with the kids/adults. It's not trying to express and show the audience the real nature of war like M.A.S.H. did. And I don't understand why they decided to go with six episodes for each season. It is too cramped for them to do anything really meaningful with. There will be plenty of examples provided as I go.

Where to go from here... I guess from the first episode in Siege and the impressions I got from it. Bumblebee's an absolute dick! What the hell?! Little man, you got an iron rod up your tailpipe or what?! THIS is the direction they decided to take as iconic a character as Bumblebee?! Okay, fine! Every continuity is entitled to their differences. I'll deal with it. But then later on they have him inherit the "Alpha Trion Protocols"--

I'm going to pause the Bee rant for a moment. Alpha. Trion. Protocols. Do the writers even know what protocols are?! Or did they think that if they slapped together an important name with something vaguely technical that it would pass off as something impressive and comprehensible?! They don't even explain what these "protocols" do! Just, all of a sudden Bumblebee was chosen to inherit them, I GUESS, and then he got to meet Alpha Trion in spirit, and now he's a nice boy who wants to hang out with the Autobot team! This happens near the end of Siege, but I wanted to stay on the track of Bee's character and how rushed and stupid this development felt.

Jetfire. Oh. My goodness. I do like him more than most of the characters portrayed in the show. But MAN I wish they had given him more solid morals. Like, he's fine with dictatorship, but reprogramming bots on a massive scale is where he draws the line? And he SLICED OFF Starscream's arm WITHOUT PROVOCATION in the first fifteen minutes of episode one!!! I had to pause the episode so I could shout furiously at the TV and my siblings could laugh at me! I like the idea of Jetfire starting out as a Decepticon. But gosh. Darn it. Rethink his character in the beginning PLEASE.

The sheer. Amount. Of seeker deaths. I could cry. I shrieked when Thundercracker got his head blasted straight off his shoulders. And that was just the START. I talked about the vehicons and the abuse they take in Prime. This. Holy crap. This is so unnecessary. This REALLY doesn't make me root for the Autobots.

Speaking of not rooting for the Autobots. Optimus Prime? He's a grade A asshole. I straight up hate him. He makes Megatron seem like the reasonable one. He lowkey disrespects the fembots, he plays all sorts of hot and cold games, he shouts at some mechs that don't want to be a part of this dumbass war. Megs told him in Earthrise that Elita was dead and Optimus straight up didn't react for long. Wide optics for a moment, then he pulled a fanfic move and straddled Megs.

And the show actually makes Megatron out to be the more personable mech out of everyone. Until Earthrise when they show him with Ultra Magnus' head. ...Megan? Is your brain alright? Keeping the head of your dead "brother" really doesn't seem like something you'd do. Oh yeah, the show did Ultra Magnus dirty. It did a lot of mechs dirty. But they made Mags out to be some... soft flake.

Starscream's treachery and smack down is totally unwarranted. In Siege Megatron complimented Starscream, saying he liked his ambition and gall. Starscream was all excited puppy-like when he got the promotion to leader of the seekers. And then in Earthrise suddenly he doesn't like Megatron and Megatron suddenly hates him and we get the classic Megs and Screamer dynamic. What? Why? There was no build up to this. There was no reason for this.

The voice acting makes me want to tear my hair out. It's awful. The line deliveries are rushed or unnatural, everyone either sounds deep and gravely or just WRONG. *sob* Soundwave, what did they DO to you?! Whoever made the decision not to go with the voice actor union made a GRAVE mistake.

I really... don't like Chromia and Moonracer in this... Like I said before, bots were done dirty. Moonracer--and everyone else--when in that zombie infested space that had the Allspark, just stood there as the zombies advanced. And then Moonracer continued to just stand there and scream as she got eaten. I'm sorry, but she deserved to die. Everyone had GUNS! Her included!! And they didn't USE THEM until Moonracer died!! Bad writing!! And then Chromia. Jumping to Earthrise. I didn't care one way or another about her up until she KILLED the Decepticon that helped her group out before WITHOUT a second thought! "Wait! I helped you before, remember--" [Bang!] Bitch!!

I'm going to talk about the pace of the writing now. There were several instances where we'd be in one scene, and then suddenly we'd be in another with no proper transition and I was left reeling and scrambling to figure out how we got to that point. Like when Galvatron suddenly showed up on Megatron's ship and started talking with him. Like, wait a minute. We're in some nether realm. Optimus is talking with Sky Lynx, then we jump to Galvatron just on Megs' ship. What? How? What led to this? Going back and rewatching did not help.

Impactor. I did not know who Impactor was before this series, so this was my introduction to him. And I loved him. And then they went and killed him off in a cliche method I saw coming a MILE away due to how they animated it, positioned the camera, etc. And I. Am. Salty. How dare they give him that kind of death and take away his dynamic with Ratchet.

This is so long... I'm sorry. I think I've covered most of the things that I had a major grievance with. I have a lot more, but I'll shut up and move to the positive things.

The animation is amazing. I was discussing this with my sister--who is more of a Rooster Teeth fan and enthusiast than I am--and none of the Rooster Teeth names showed up in producers or writers, so we're under the assumption that Netflix only hired on their animation team, and that's believable. The show looks like something Rooster Teeth would make. Which makes it a little easier to watch.

I adore the little Refracktor look-alikes. Scrapface and the guy whose name I can't freaking find that gave Megatron the tour. I would do anything to protect them... There's someone I'm following on tumblr who got the suggestion that Elita deserved to have a little Decepticon harem made out of those Refracktor look-alikes, and I'm inclined to agree.

I'm glad my boy Red Alert is getting some of the spotlight. He's not written how I prefer him, but he's not horrible. Just bland.

Most of the character designs look great. There's a few that I'm meh about, but I can't complain too much. They look like who they're supposed to be. Galvatron actually looked pretty good.

The Quintesson and Doubledealer's crew. The Quintesson is probably the best I've ever seen one written. It was shocking. Each face was its own person rather than the Quintesson having one face for each mood. That's how the previous Quintessons felt like to me, anyway. And Doubledealer's crew of mercenaries was great. I appreciate that the coneheads and Bug Bite were among the crew. And that they're perfectly fine shooting at each other.

Jetfire and Elita's dynamic is a mirror of Elita and Optimus' dynamic, only the two of them respect each other a heck of a lot more than Optimus and Elita did.

Ratchet. Ratchet. Holy. Cow. Talk about someone who deserves to have the Matrix. I NEED Ratchetus Prime to be a thing. And if they hadn't killed off Impactor, their dynamic would have continued to be beautiful. The Autobots do not deserve to have Ratchet in their midst. He takes no crap, he heals both sides, a bot is a bot. End of statement.

Scorponok was cute. I like him.

That's all that really comes to mind as far as I can recall. I'm sure there's more. But my brain has been emptied. This has been therapeutic. Thank you, and sorry again for the lengthy rant.