#because i.zuku's insanity would NOT shut up

[fightaers]

get it ? it was disgusting because it was you.

— and ah. is that it ? so in a way izuku was right : his quirklessness didn't encompass the whole of their problem. it wasn't the breaking point of their downfall, though it must've added to it, because izuku couldn't imagine kacchan would've saddled him with deku, useless, as a nickname if it weren't an issue at all. izuku isn't sure now if he should feel relief that kacchan isn't discriminating against a minority group after all, or he should be concerned that there is something here he genuinely couldn't amend over.

izuku, after all, is a very flawed person. even beyond the state of his biology, he could be compulsively obsessive and narrow-minded once he has set his goal to something. maybe that's what kacchan had disliked, the very fact that it'd taken the blonde years before he could finally beat the insistency on izuku's part to stop following him around. or maybe it's izuku's old ambition for wanting to be a hero when everyone had made it clear that, without a quirk, his chances were about slim to none. it's a dream izuku had long traded, but that didn't mean kacchan had gotten over it.

his childhood friend is surprisingly complex like that, izuku learns. everyone who had witnessed their dynamic so far may have thought the explosive pro-hero is only mean for the sake of being mean, but it izuku could catch on immediately that there is some... drive behind it. that there is some persistency and a bitterness that runs deeper. like he said before, it felt like izuku's robbed kacchan of something a long time ago, and ever since, the blonde's trying desperately to get it back or have his revenge.

or maybe this is a long, dragged-out inner monologue to pretend he isn't hurt by the blonde's words.

maybe, as izuku couldn't deny the pang of a new wound settling around his chest at kacchan's confession, but all the same, he could feel his logic manoeuvring at the forefront of his mind. around this new hurt, his mind's quick to compartmentalise and navigate. he watches kacchan now, he thinks. izuku's expression hardens somewhat, and he doesn't let bakugou katsuki shakes him off as easily. he's gained mass over the years; in this moment, he's happy that it's rewarding him with a firmer body that's hard to knock around. ❛ and yet, it's to this disgusting deku you gave your number to, kacchan. ❜

izuku dips his head just a little, eyes trying to find the other's, as he finally relents, lets kacchan breaks their contact together. although izuku breaks away from being against the wall, and this time, it is his turn to crowd back into kacchan's space. izuku marches onwards, unrelenting, ❛ it is this deku you invited to your home. and it is this deku you eat with. you spent every other day arguing with. let's face it, kacchan — ❜ he points to the other's chest, face serious. ❛ i'm already here, aren't i ? you're trying hard to claw me out, but day-to-day you're realising i'm burrowing deeper. ❜

the blood from his nose drips into his mouth and izuku reflexively takes his hand back, far too nonchalant, and smears the red liquid against the rows of his thick fingers as a means to wipe it away. ❛ ah, kacchan... how unfortunate for you that your disgusting deku has no plans of uprooting himself away from you. ❜ a beat. izuku lets the meaning sinks in. and then, smiling quite jovially, the green-haired man finally adds, ❛ ah. unless you're scared. then i suppose it's understandable i should stay away, no ? i'm a medical officer, you know, kacchan. i shouldn't aspire fear among people i could potentially aid one day. ❜

there are hardly any times where katsuki bakugou feels cornered. when he's in a fight, leaving himself vulnerable to such an event often spells unprecedented danger, and guaranteed at least a few wounds in the process / the paparazzi outside of work have never been able to pin him down, either. nobody has been able to claim they had katsuki in a corner.

after all, when someone is cornered, that is when they are most vulnerable to an attack of any kind ; it would mean a forced confrontation. it was arguably the worst position any pro hero could find themselves in.

but izuku speaks to him in a disarming, calm tone - there is no emotion to be deciphered in gaze or expression, none to unearth in vocal inflections. izuku speaks, asks, those green eyes keeping contact with red, and katsuki can feel every fibre of his being tense. his hair feels as though it stands on end.

even though it was katsuki who had provoked him, even though it was him who had thrown the punch and pinned him to the wall, he does not feel as though he has the upper hand anymore / his anger boils under skin, but there is something else that makes a home in the pit of his stomach, churning and grasping violently inside him. his hands that once held the proverbial knife to throat feel empty now, as the cold feeling of steel now presses against his neck instead, digging into his adam's apple, dangerously close to his carotid artery.

this is not what actually happens, of course. only a rough hand wrapping around his wrist despite the dangers of explosions, fingers pressing against pulse.

it's the horror of knowing that in a few simple sentences, katsuki was cornered.

whatever venomous words he had prepared on the tip of his tongue dissolve with how quickly izuku undermines his defence / he challenges katsuki's hate in two ways. he calls into question if katsuki truly hated this, hated him - but in doing so the wrong way, he would arm deku with the means to prove that all of his actions leading to now was discrimination, that the reason for his hate was because deku was quirkless. it was all down to how he worded it, and katsuki played right into his hand by giving him that chance.

does deku feel powerful, having the pro hero cornered as he does ? did he want to seize the upper hand to humiliate katsuki - to make it so pro hero dynamight's career was now in his hands ?

katsuki seethes, but he refuses to give an answer straight away : his mind is already seeking ways out of this. he's looking for the best path ... [ don't let him win. find a weakness. make an opening. ] ... even while he keeps the green-haired man against the wall, his hand still rife with sparks and pops, even as his brows furrow and his snarl deepens the longer he can't find the right way to answer the damn questions.

but katsuki bakugou does not admit defeat. ❛ it could've been anyone else, and i wouldn't have given a fuck. ❜

free hand finally moves to seize izuku's wrist, the hand that wraps around his own, and he works to pry it away from his skin. his glare becomes resolved once more, now that he finds the words he wants to use against him. ❛ quirkless or not, i woulda fucking dealt with it. it would've just been a stupid kiss. ❜ [ this was not about deku's quirklessness, after all. it was all because he had something katsuki didn't. ] he tightens his grip in both hands. ❛ get it ? it was disgusting because it was you. ❜