#because i've written 200 fucking thousand words about you

[lunarriviera]

8 hours until uts2 airs and i am officially crushed under the weight of the last week of promo after YEARS of NOTHING, go home c-ent you're drunk. also? the threat of the divorce arc has WRECKED ME i need them to be OKAY i need shen yi NOT to lose his damn MIND this thing drops at 4 AM IN MY TIME ZONE and will i set my alarm and wake up and shotgun four episodes at once MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK someone hold me tightly i can't take anymore

also when i saw this xhs meme courtesy of my beloved @programmedradly i started wheezelaughing and my mom goes "what's so funny" and i was like, um well these two…men…are different…heights idk??? so it guess it's not that funny. and actually it kind of also wrecks me a little bit bc ofc s1 shen yi drew du cheng as a police dog on a post-it note and left it on his desktop monitor, does he know he's a corgi? anyway im fine this is fine everything is so fine can someone beat me to death with a shovel to my FACE bc it would be kinder than the last week of trailers each worse than the last, i just think that [cane comes out and drags me offstage]

[alymccart]

Ask du jour because I’m in a lot of feelings right now and need a diversion from them and because I stayed home for a mental health day and have time to ask: Back to First Time, I feel like there’s a whole analysis or chapter behind Charlie’s words to Vaggie about their connection.

“It's been a long time. And I... uhh, I've never had this kind of connection with anyone before. This is... more intense than I was expecting.”

I’d love to get into this more because here’s Charlie, who is this being that shouldn’t even exist- or it’s unimaginable that she exists- and is astronomically powerful and probably as wise as time and space due to her connection with the cosmos (even though the show never talks about that but it has to be true? Maybe? I’m overthinking? I mean, I can’t imagine one could live as long as Charlie has and not have some wisdom). And Vaggie’s just a dead woman, right? Just a dead human woman (who I fucking love so much, this isn’t a criticism). So for Charlie to feel a connection with someone so much “less” than herself and for it to shake her enough during intimacy, Vaggie must be powerful herself. Maybe not in the same way as Charlie, but damn. She must have some kind of soulmate-level power over Charlie. Like they’re written in the stars and, in this one instance, Charlie is meant to be completely powerless.

Makes me wonder, as I am wont to do, how Vaggie’s story will evolve both in your fic and in canon.

Anyway, I think that’s enough word vomit for today. But also thank you? You don’t know it but writing these thoughts helped quiet a small feelings storm in my head.

TT^TT Another fantastic ask.

I really REALLY do feel like there's more to Vaggie than the show has shown us so far, which is why I'm attempting to kinda-sorta foreshadow that in my fics. I have no actual idea what exactly that "more" is, and I may end up being way off base, but I want to believe. Although the alt version of their first time that's going to be in Hellfire goes a slightly different direction, the same general scenario still plays out.

I definitely agree with your assessment about Charlie's power. She's the daughter of the first demon in hell and a very powerful angel (in my fic I'm going to with Lucifer being a seraph, though that isn't confirmed as far as I know), so there has GOT to be more to her than what we have seen. I'm going to bet there's some angel qualities that'll crop up as the story progresses (maybe she'll get wings!?). I also feel like Charlie is treated like a child in the show way, way too much. Until it's confirmed in the show, we don't really know for sure that she's over 200 years old, but going on that assumption, there is absolutely no way she's as naive as people seem to think she is. Sheltered? Maybe a bit, but she's a busybody, so there's no way she spent all of her life cooped up in a palace or something. So, my fic/headcanon Charlie has been around. She wants to help, she wants to be involved, she wants to experience things; she wants to make Hell a better place and to do that she needs to learn everything she can about it. Considering the fact that she's a one-of-a-kind royal hellborn demon and more-or-less impervious to permanent/killing damage from just about anything around her (save for strong angels like Adam and angelic steel weapons, and Carmilla is not stupid enough to sell them to someone who wanted to hurt Charlie because Lucifer would shred her to pieces) there's not much reason for her to be overly cautious.

"Soulmate-level power" is one way to put it. I really feel like Charlie and Vaggie's connection was at least catalyzed in their mutual desire to see this whole "redemption" thing through. For Charlie, it's to help her people. For Vaggie, it's partly to prove that she herself is worthy of redemption and partly to help end the cycle of death altogether. Murdering all of those Sinner souls and only questioning it after thousands had died, then thinking she had done the Right Thing and immediately being mutilated and abandoned by people she trusted as a result really effed her up, imo, and she's obsessive about making up for it. I think after that initial spark, Charlie sees someone she can truly believe is her equal, if not in power, but spiritually, so she is willing to let her guard down. She's comfortable showing that side of herself to Vaggie, and Vaggie is comfortable with that side of Charlie, so, in the context of First Time, it ends up being harder for her to hold back (and maybe a bit of unconscious "I don't want to hold back" that she has to fight for fear of hurting someone she believes is a squishy Sinner demon).

I'll see how things play out as the fic progresses. I've got a general direction set, but things like to crop up and throw me off course as I write (which I love, tbh). Thank you for the thoughts! Getting to really mull this stuff over out loud is really helpful. :>

[ell-vellan]

who out of all your ocs is closer to you in terms of personality and who out of other fictional characters is also closer to you?

This is such a cool question, thank you for asking! I've been thinking about it all day and it got me on a tangent on how I make characters, so I hope you don't mind that I rambled.

So, I'll start off saying that part of my process of making new characters is to give them one or two characteristics of my own that I'm very familiar with and dial them up to 11, or I infuse characters with opposite traits that I have. First because I have to have something relatable about my characters to write them, and also it's just kind of impossible to fully avoid when you're spending so much time with them. You're either writing them going through stuff which passes through the filter of your imagination and your experiences, or you're literally role playing as them in a game. It's easier to either go "this is what I would do" or "this is what I would NEVER do" and then go from there, especially when starting out with a new character you're just starting to get to know.

Eventually their paths diverge from yours, but you gotta start on common ground. Or I do, anyway.

A character's upbringing, religion, philosophy, culture, etc is a huge part of what makes them who they are. So because I don't share those same background experiences, my characters act how I would extrapolate someone with those experiences to act given the traits we share. That's sort of my "in" to that character's mindset, helps me see their very different life through their eyes. Especially when it comes to Dragon Age OCs, lol.

So with all that said, I think because I've spent the most time with Ellawyn while writing nearly 200 thousand words with her, and because I set off with the plan of making an insecure Inquisitor who struggles with it, and also crafted her as an opposite to Iron Bull, I've probably given her more of my own traits than anyone. The anxiety, Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and earnest do-gooder-ness, but way more intense. Her anxieties are different, but I understand that part of her, which helps me figure out how she feels about all the other stuff that goes on in her story. I can't imagine how it would feel to have magic or kill in self-defense, but I can relate way more to anxiety about being in charge and trying to do a good job.

Growing up I really didn't see a lot my personality in fictional characters because I was a quiet, shy kid who was scared of doing stuff, and those aren't main character traits! Because of course the confident, powerful character is the one that affects change, they're the ones driving the plot, and they're the interesting character to follow. Main characters can't reject their destiny and decide to stay home where it's safe, because then there's no story. So I like to write more unassuming characters who typically wouldn't be the hero. Ellawyn having been accidentally Inquisitor and feeling like she isn't up to the task but having no choice was interesting to me.

For my Cousland, she's the absolutely typical hero, because I always want to be the Lawful Good character in games and get everything right and help everyone have a happy ending lol. So that was my in with her. But Cousland gets an added dash of bloodthirsty revenge goals and a sheltered, privileged, ignorant origin story.

Mahariel is most my opposite - the cold orphan who has never regrets anything and is looking only to selfishly survive, without bringing his people down with him. He's the character is fed up with an unfair world and just says "Fuck it, I'm gonna watch it all burn." Sometimes it's fun to play as someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone but themselves, lol.

There are characters I've written that I've given negative traits of myself from past or present. It's fun for me to explore character arcs for people with similar traits but who took different paths. I've written a main character with agoraphobia, a mom-friend, bookish loners, cheerful optimists, headstrong rebels, Type A honor roll overachievers...because it's what I know. (Side characters are different because they often serve a narrative purpose to support the main story so they tend to be more a mix of different archetypes.)

But I definitely try not to fully put myself on the page because, again, I'm boring and wouldn't make a good main character, lol.

I did relate to Jane Eyre, especially her as a child. But one of the first characters I really felt like I saw a reflection of myself in was Cath from the book Fangirl, because she was a writer who was too scared to eat in the college cafeteria by herself, so she lived off food bars in her room. Which is something I literally did.

Those are the only ones I can think of! There are characters I admire for being the kind of person I *wish* I was, but that's a different question, lol.

Probably why I write the types of people I do, because I'm drawn to write what I want to read.

Thanks for letting me get on my soapbox and explore this super interesting question! You always have such insightful ones, too!

[pssarahwins]

I've barely been unemployed for a month but I can not handle this. I feel so useless. Writing this so I won't convince myself it's a good idea to whine on tiktok. Vent post below.

Today I have:

Written a thousand useless words for a story no one will ever read; it's not a fic, not the story I'm actually excited about writing, it's a nothing intro to a random periphery idea because I started it before and I wanted to revisit from the beginning, but I lost steam at about the 1000 word mark and this isn't the story I want to write.

Reached out to a client to pay up an invoice and been told he's "just really busy this month" and he'll review the scripts "soon" ($200 I won't see any time soon that I am actually explicitly Counting On for my recurring bills which I've unfortunately been basically using Klarna to pay for groceries, so I'm trapped under them.)

Reached out to my former employer because she had claimed she'd need me in October, only to be told that two people are already filling in the jobs she needs done instead of me. I'd feel vindicated (by the fact I was doing the work of two people) if not for the fact it would be really nice to even just have a few hours of work to make money on this weekend. Like, yeah, fuck you, but also fuck me.

Been denied for a loan. Not a surprise necessarily but it would have been nice. Also fuck my credit.

Cried on the couch because I'm hit with the Feel Bads suddenly which means I don't know if I'll be able to pull myself out of this today to get anything else done. I should probably eat more than just an energy drink, but the idea of food is making me nauseous right now.

Also might have started my period. Hoping it's just breakthrough from a late pill but I never really know lol.

And if I can't feel productive today, which I probably won't, I likely won't be able to do anything fun for myself either because I won't "deserve" fun things. And if I don't do anything fun, I'll just feel worse, which makes it even less likely for me to be productive.

I also have somewhere to be at 3pm. Which it's 10 am right now. Which is five hours between now and then but it may as well be 20 minutes, so I can't even pick up a Task unless I know it won't take very long like a few minutes tops, because what if I'm late? What if I forget?

I hate myself, but I should probably shower. I hate everything, but I should probably eat. I don't think everyone hates me, I think they're all ambivalent towards me, like I'm some kind of interesting pest they'll probably just ignore, so I'm probably rested but could use a little nap (which tracks, we had to be up earlier than usual today).

[jackson--t]

Hi ! I hope you're doing well. I've had an idea for a one shot and though I could write it myself I don't think it could ever come out as beautiful as if you would write it so here it is.

I was thinking of Ivar and Heahmund as a couple. They haven't really had to spend too much time away from each other because whenever ine traveled with work the other would come along so maybe this time Ivar has to go alone because it's urgent and Heahmund can't come along cause he's stuck at work and unable to take a few days off. I was thinking Ivar would be so homesick. Like unable to sleep and stuff. And though he would have had to spend around a week away he won't be able to stay away for so long and return 3 days later and surprises Heahmund and they cuddle q lot and Ivar barely let's Heahmund go anywhere because he's touch starved.

You don't have to write it. It's just an idea but if you fancy it and want to I would feel honored to have my idea written by you and also very happy. Thank you ! Love ya!

Hello my dear, and I feel so honored that you want me to write this idea of yours! ❤️ As I already told you, it was a huge pleasure for me as I can identify myself with that situation very well, and I really hope that you like what I wrote and it turned maybe a little bit out the way you wanted it. Thank you so much! ❤️

Three days

Words: ~ 3k.

It's all pure fluff and stuff, and a bit of missing, obviously. xD

Ivar clenched his hand lightly around Heahmund's; he had been afraid, damned afraid of this day that was coming anyway - and it had just been there far too quickly, far too fleetingly, and most of all - far too hard.

He could feel Heahmund squeezing his hand a little tighter as well, but the big man only smiled slightly, while Ivar could already feel the tears in his eyes.

"I can't do that, no. I'd rather be out of a job." he snarled tensely, while Heahmund let out a soft snort. They had arrived at the final departure lounge, where he would soon be leaving - and where Ivar would have to say a final goodbye to Heahmund.

They had been a couple for maybe two years, had been through many ups and downs together - but they had never been apart for long. The longest they had spent without each other was one day. And that was only because Ivar had been far too offended at the time and had missed his bus when he had changed his mind after all. In that night, Ivar had sworn to himself that he would never again spend even one night apart from Heahmund - which had generally worked out well. When one of the two had to travel, they had taken each other with them. One had taken time off, the other was working; in this way they had been able to discover many places together. But this time it had been different. Since Heahmund had an important job to do, he couldn't take time off - just when Ivar had to fly away for a week for his job.

It was the first time Ivar had seriously considered just quitting; it was one thing to go to work and have your partner back in bed with you in the evening; but something completely different to have to go to sleep without him. The thought of it sent deep goosebumps down Ivar's body, and he sighed deeply.

"Honey, you're hurting me. It's only a week.", Heahmund said in a relaxed manner, trying to lightly release his hand from the clamp-like grip of Ivar's warm fingers; however, Ivar shook his head. Breathe in, breathe out, he told himself; but his eyes betrayed him. It wasn't really a tear that ran lightly from the corner of his eye, but Heahmund saw it anyway.

He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue and wrapped his arms tightly around the middle of Ivar's body; Ivar buried his face deep in Heahmund's black jacket, breathing in deeply the smell of his boyfriend. God, how he would miss him. Already his body felt drained, and his heart area became terribly heavy.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Heahmund. What are you going to do without me? Who's going to cook for you? And don't you dare meet anyone else.", Ivar mumbled dully into Heahmund's jacket, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Heahmund as he laughed softly and melodically.

"Babe, I'm not seeing anyone else. And besides, I'll probably survive a week without you! What are delivery services for, huh?" Heahmund replied, lifting Ivar's chin with a slight movement; Ivar blinked.

"Still. I should stay here." he grumbled, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"I have something for you that will comfort you a little. I know you always claim you don't like these things and are too old for them - but you always hug your bear very fiercely for that when I come home at night. That's why...", Heahmund said and pulled something out of his jacket pocket; it was a small stuffed animal, a small, soft hyena, wearing a dark blue ribbon around its neck. Ivar had to swallow; he took the stuffed animal carefully in his hands and then blinked very gently up at Heahmund, who looked at him with a smile.

"A hyena! You remember I was particularly fond of those?" he murmured softly, and Heahmund nodded as his hand went lightly to the back of Ivar's neck.

"Sure. You took about 200 pictures, and you kept stressing how much you'd like one yourself, and that you'd keep it in the bedroom."

"In the bathroom, so it could have a tub!"

"Of course!" Heahmund snorted in amusement; through the hall came the distinct and final call for Ivar's Gate, and the voice again sent a terrible shiver down Ivar's spine. He pressed himself as tightly as he could against Heahmund and sobbed slightly; Heahmund's warm fingers stroked through his hair, which for once he had not braided today, and which was just wildly disheveled. Who else was he going to make himself pretty for when his future husband wasn't around?

"Shhht, it's going to be okay, Ivar. You have to go now.", Heahmund said softly; Ivar knew it was time, but he found it extremely difficult to let go of the warm and familiar body and the familiar, beloved smell.

They kissed firmly and as long as they could; before Heahmund softly broke the kiss and smiled at Ivar once more. "You call me as soon as you land, okay? And no cell phone on the plane!" he said with a wink, and Ivar rolled his eyes.

He wiped away the last of his tears and hugged the hyena tightly before shuffling towards his gate with infinitely heavy feet. He looked after Heahmund for as long as he could - and when his dearly beloved guy disappeared behind him, the whole feeling in his body became really crushing. He tried to calm himself down the aisles to the plane and not show his tears - which worked well as long as he kept chewing his lower lip and answering all questions from stewardesses and staff only with a dull nod.

But it wasn't until he was sitting in his seat on the plane that all his emotions suddenly came rushing up - especially when he put the little hyena down on his lap and squeezed it tightly. He knew it was Heahmund's way of letting him know he was there - but the takeoff still sucked. Normally, during airplane takeoffs, Ivar always held Heahmund's hand, and always huddled slightly against Heahmund's shoulder out of fear; now that he wasn't there, the plane takeoff was a thousand times worse for Ivar.

The flight itself went by quickly, it was also only two hours. But the first day in his seminar from work was not great. Ivar found it awful to keep in touch with Heahmund only through his cell phone. Every two minutes he glanced at the screen, waiting to receive another heart, or an "I love you, I miss you." He knew Heahmund was working, too - but his inner, offended side most wanted Heahmund to text him every second.

The distraction of the seminar made the day go by quickly, even though Ivar shut down easily; he barely listened, and when he fell into his bed at night, all the fierce violence of missing him came crashing down. It took him a few seconds, a few seconds and his little hyena, before he could breathe reasonably again and pull out his cell phone to call Heahmund.

"Hey, little guy. Are you okay?" Heahmund said; he sounded tired and exhausted, but tears immediately started to flow on Ivar's face.

"I want to go home, I don't feel like it anymore! I'm homesick as hell, and I already know I can't sleep in this shitty bed! Heahmund, come get me. You can work from here too!" Ivar grumbled, sniffling as Heahmund laughed softly.

"Babe, you know I can't do that. I've really had a lot of conversations today, and I'm really, really knackered. I'm about to go to sleep too."

"You sound really tired too. But still... How am I supposed to sleep without you?" Ivar whined softly as Heahmund tossed and turned, Ivar heard it clearly. "And you're not supposed to sleep on the couch, Heahmund."

"I'm about to go to bed. Are you stalking me?"

"No, but I know our couch." Ivar said, smiling slightly; although tears were running slightly from his eyes, he could not hide the smile. He hugged the hyena a little more to his chest, imagining for a moment that it was Heahmund's warm hand; it helped a little.

"You are unique, at least your ears are. Which, after all, only hear what they want to hear. I miss you, Ivar."

Ivar swallowed hard. "I miss you too."

"We can talk on the phone with video tomorrow, I'm really too tired today."

"All right. Sleep well, and don't touch yourself too much! I want the full load when I get back.", Ivar grinned slightly, and he heard Heahmund snort exactly: it was the snort that Ivar knew quite well he was imagining him naked, with Ivar lying underneath him, moaning and whimpering.

"Of course. The same goes for you. I want you trembling and fucking starved with me," Heahmund replied; "...I love you. If there's anything, get in touch!"

"I love you, too. Will do."

As soon as he hung up, Ivar's heart grew heavy again, terribly heavy. He felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, almost crushing him. It was such a sickening feeling to be lying alone in this bed, so many miles from Heahmund.

"You're 20, you can do it," Ivar whispered to himself as he tucked himself in and snuggled comfortably. But no matter what he did, he couldn't sleep.

His thoughts kept circling around Heahmund, and his body and soul missed the man next to him just terribly. Ivar had the feeling that his body was in severe withdrawal, that he simply needed Heahmund to function at all. He remembered the smell, the so familiar smell of Heahmund's neck and chin as they lay over Ivar's head, taking him in; he remembered his fingers always sliding over Heahmund's chest, sometimes on shaved, smooth, skin, sometimes on something hairier... but either way, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to sleep in Heahmund's warm embrace.

For as long as Ivar could remember, he had always slept with his head on Heahmund's chest or shoulder; he couldn't think of an evening when they hadn't somehow fallen asleep without physical contact. Even on the hottest summer nights, Ivar would always curl up against Heahmund's back like a little hedgehog, holding at least his one arm, no matter how much Heahmund grumbled in his half-sleep.

It was simply his means of falling asleep, of waking up, of feeling good all around. But now, so alone in this hotel room, he felt completely lost and abandoned. The pain after Heahmund's closeness was so gravely real that Ivar found it difficult to breathe normally at all; again and again small sobs interrupted his breathing, and he pressed the hyena very tightly against him; unfortunately, it no longer bore any traces of Heahmund's scent, and only now did Ivar remember that he had forgotten to pack a worn shirt of Heahmund's - and it was so bad for him in those seconds that he burst into sheer tears, which only subsided when he eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next two days were an absolute nightmare for Ivar. He didn't want to and couldn't eat anything, hardly felt like doing anything with the others even though the weather was wonderful - and he cried so terribly after every phone call with Heahmund that he always had to calm down before he could do anything else.

This feeling didn't go away either, and it got worse. This terrible feeling that a very primary part of him was missing, that his better and more beautiful half was simply missing. This missing squeezed all the nice feelings out of him and took over almost his entire daily life - so much so, that on the third day he was fed up and pretended to be sick so he could fly home.

He didn't tell Heahmund about all the action, because he would have just said, "You can't do that," and put on his dad look, along with his glasses, which he needed to work. But Ivar didn't care what he would think; he wrote to a work colleague of Heahmund's beforehand and asked her if he was in the office - when she answered in the affirmative, Ivar decided that he would wait for him at home as a surprise.

It was like a warm hug when Ivar unlocked the door to their apartment and smelled the scent of Heahmund still in the air; his heart was still burning, and he could hardly breathe with excitement - but finally he was home again.

Ivar felt a little bad that he had lasted such a short time and had only managed three days without Heahmund. But he knew that he would not have been able to stand it any other way, and no matter what Heahmund would say - he would just be glad to hold the man in his arms again. It would take away all the pain, and finally the endless burdensome pressure from his chest.

As he wandered through the apartment and looked around, he discovered slight chaos in some corners; but he was not angry. Rather, he smiled from the bottom of his heart, because he saw exactly that Heahmund seemed to need him in everyday life as much as Ivar needed him. As he was already unpacking his suitcase in the bedroom, he discovered the photo album of all their travels on Heahmund's bedside table; it was still open, and Ivar carefully took the book in his hands.

It showed a page with four pictures where they had been together in Egypt; there were pyramids in the background, and Ivar kissed Heahmund on the cheek while the older man grabbed his butt. It was a wonderful photo, and Ivar had to hold back his tears hard. It touched him more than anything that Heahmund had apparently looked at these pictures, even though he had seemed so tough on the phone. It was a moment that was so precious to Ivar - even though it was just a small, hidden detail in their otherwise great relationship.

As the evening approached, Ivar had almost prepared Heahmund's favorite meal; he had placed the little hyena in the hallway so that it would be the first thing the older man would see when he came into the apartment. And indeed - after a little while Ivar heard the lock of the door open, and someone standing in the hallway, puzzled. For a moment, nothing was heard - Ivar bit his lower lip in gleeful excitement before quietly sneaking around the corner of the hallway. He lurked around the corner and saw Heahmund perplexedly picking up the hyena and eyeing it in his hand, and once he had his eyes on this beautiful man, Ivar could wait no longer.

He jumped around the corner and threw himself into Heahmund's arms; the older man was a little startled, but he caught Ivar effortlessly and immediately took him deep and tight in his arms. He even lifted him up slightly with the embrace, and Ivar smiled broadly as Heahmund kissed him breathlessly, demanding.

"Oh fuck, I missed you so much, my little burglar." he murmured against Ivar's cheek, and Ivar took his face in both hands and kissed him again, firmly and intimately. Although tears were running down his cheek, he finally let go of that terribly heavy feeling of missing him, and he could finally breathe freely again. His arms wrapped around Heahmund's neck as tightly as he could, and the older man held him effortlessly in his strong arms.

"I escaped." Ivar admitted dryly, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"How did you do that again, huh?"

"I said I was too sick, and I just flew. Heahmund, I couldn't go on without you, I'm so damn starved and it hurt so much and... oh, the food!", Ivar groaned and pressed one last kiss on Heahmund before breaking free from the hug and running to the kitchen.

They spent a wonderful dinner together, and Ivar talked an incredible amount, though he didn't actually catch that much; but he was immensely satisfied when he was finally able to lie down in Heahmund's arms in the evening, and the older man pulled him into an intimate embrace on the sofa.

Ivar inhaled the smell of Heahmund deeply and firmly and swore to himself that he would never let him go - at most when he had to go to the bathroom. But that was it. Far too much had he missed the pressure of strong arms around him, and didn't want to be left alone for another minute.

When Heahmund wanted to get something to snack on from the kitchen, Ivar grumbled; but he clung with his arms around Heahmund's broad shoulders and let himself be carried like a little monkey all the way to the kitchen, where Heahmund finally had to laugh.

"What are you doing, huh? Are you my little spider monkey again?" he said, amused, and pushed Ivar onto the kitchen table; Ivar chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around Heahmund again, even though he actually wanted to go to the freezer to get some ice cream. But Ivar kept a tight grip on him, and additionally clamped his legs around Heahmund's hips.

The big man raised an eyebrow, slightly enraptured, and leaned down to Ivar; they kissed intimately, and Ivar felt Heahmund's warm hands slide under his shirt with a slight pleasant hum.

"Are you a little starved?" he murmured softly, and slowly began kissing Ivar's sensitive right side of his neck; a thousand butterflies raced through Ivar's body, and he opened his full lips slightly to let out a soft moan.

"Yes - starved for touch. After all, we have three days to make up, my big guy."

Heahmund's eyebrow rose again in rapture, and not a second passed before the two strong arms had Ivar firmly in their grasp once more, and they were kissing fiercely. And even as Heahmund pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion, he knew for sure that he never wanted to be without this man for even one more day. Fuck the job - he didn't need money.

He just needed the full love and absolute closeness of this incredible man with him, forever.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@youbloodymadgenius @jadelynlace @punkrocknpearls (Uh, I don't remember if it was you who wanted to be tagged in stuff like this? xD Otherwise, I'm so sorry! <3)

[vesuviannights]

Hello Claire, I am trying to write smut, and I blame (thank) you. I've never written it before and I'm feeling kinda unsure about how to go about it. Because you're such an inspiration, I was wondering if you had any advice for a someone just starting out like me. 😅 Thanks so much 😊💖

I accept (welcome) that blame.

I’ve written this post for similar purposes, but it’s focused more on getting comfortable with writing it without squicking out as soon as you start. I can definitely add onto it though, with some specific things that worked for me?

Same with the other post, not everything works for everyone and eventually you’ll spread your sexy wings and probably not use any straight advice anyone has given you - and when that day happens, it’ll be the best feeling in the world.

In the mean time, here’s things that worked for me and some things that I still do now:

Establish your preferred language very early on.

You probably won’t feel comfortable writing about sex if you don’t like the words you’re using, so figure out your preferred word for absolutely everything. Start with the genitals and work your way out from there. Some people prefer cock, others dick, some people stick with a plain old penis. Are you a pussy, sex or cunt person? Do you like breasts or boobs? Come or cum? Asshole, second hole, back hole? Write ‘em down. Play around with them. Say them outloud and roll them around on your tongue and in your head. You might find that you like one specific word for everything, or it might change depending on the mood of the piece you write, or even the character you’re writing.

Don’t be afraid to send the plot packing

Plot? Don’t know him. Get straight into the fucking. Don’t even worry about how they got there or making it believable. You’re here for the practise and to get comfortable with what you’re doing, worry about why your character is dropping to their knees in the back of a masquerade ball later.

Do little bitty baby smuts!

Headcanons! 200 word drabbles!! Two sentence stories!! All so amazing. Good ways of getting an idea out that you might want to use later and, just like above, good ways of being able to write smut without having to think about the nuances of plot, or even how the smut is going to end. Just write tiny little things. Tiny.

Refresh your creative writing techniques!!

This is the teacher in me popping out. We teach creative writing techniques for a reason - they work, even if you don’t realise you’re doing them. Want to create suspense or emphasis? Use truncated sentences ( “She cried out. Tight. So tight.”). Want to create a flow? List adjectives and verbs (“He sighed, moaned, keened as they thrust into him.”).

But also, don’t listen to the rules of the English language? It’s dumb. Start every sentence with ‘and’ if that’s how you want to make it flow. Have a sentence that’s 4 lines long, who’s fucking stopping you? Use repetition over and over and over and over again until your point is across. Use italics and capitals in literally any part of the sentence you want to create emphasis on, “Especially when your characters are talking during sex and you ne-eed them to–AH—be heard!”

Don’t be afraid to mimic

I’ll start off by immediately saying this doesn’t mean directly copying/pasting huge chunks of text and dialogue and calling it your own. What it DOES mean is that it’s okay to see a phrase or line in another smutty piece of work, go “oh I’d like to try that”, and play around with it in your writing. This can be from one line to a whole fic concept. No one is expecting anyone who is learning anything to come up with shit on their own, that isn’t how the world or learning works, people learn by seeing examples, scaffolding, doing and practising.

Hell, use my writing for this. Find a line you love but feel too unsure to write and just throw it in there. Work with it until it fits your work. Change a few of the words around. It’s a skeleton and you’re a god creating the meatsuit. You won’t know exactly what you like until you read or write it, and you can mimic another writer or even porn if you watch it, because what’s the harm?

Write it with whoever you feel comfortable

Depending on what you feel comfortable doing, the people you write smut about will change. I personally (and this is in no way shaming ANYONE) have never been able to write about real people because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and as I’ve grown in my twenties I can’t even really write about non-animated characters who are represented by actors because that also feels weird to me. What I DO feel comfortable writing about, though, is fictional characters who derive from books, comics and video games. So that’s what I do. Don’t write something or someone you don’t feel comfortable writing, you won’t have a good time.

Similarly, this can be extended to POV. If using first person makes it feel like too much of a self-insert for you and you don’t feel comfortable, skip to second person. If you don’t like the idea of writing to specific readers, skip to third person.

Use prompts

If any of you are old enough to remember, and it’s very possible this is still a thing, on Livejournal there used to be a thousand communities that were basically just multi-fandom prompt challenges. One of my faves was 50KinkyWays, which gave you a bingo card of 50 prompts and you just wrote a lil drabble or a huge fic for each using whichever pairing you wanted. And when I started writing smut, this was really helpful for me because it challenged me not to just do the ‘kiss, oral, missionary sex’ situation a thousand times over, and also forced me to research what I was writing about.

Way back when I first started this blog, I used this prompt list to steer what people requested. It was great, and gave me plenty of new material to use as a foundation for the requests.

If that’s too kinky or not your cup of tea, here are some other ones I’ve got saved in my drafts that are pretty fantastic too, ranging from mild smut to super kinky: 

Simple kisses prompt list

NSFW alphabet meme

Simple sentence starters

Mildly steamy sexy sentence starters

NSFW sentence starters - punishment edition

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Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk and I am always so happy to talk about creative writing and how amazing and dumb it is.

Biggest lesson: honestly just disregard anything I have told you that doesn’t work and just fuckin’ go nuts love u boo xx