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spencers-renaissance · 4 years ago

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Hear it in the Silence

Summary: A short, fluffy chronicle of Spencer realising in increments how in love with Derek he is, and navigating a real, beautifully sweet relationship that's not always smooth sailing, especially since he's been hurt before. (Based on Taylor Swift’s You are in Love.)

Tags: major fluff, angst, past abuse, hurt/comfort, fights, making up, falling in love, dev relationship

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 3.7k

Read on AO3 (detailed cw in notes)

They’re careful to arrive separately but unsurprisingly, subtlety is not Derek’s strong suit. Spencer has a good poker face -- although logically he knows that a cheerful, passive expressive is the best actual poker face due to its non-threatening nature -- but Derek absolutely cannot get rid of the smug, pleased smile he’s wearing proudly. It’s a good thing Spencer looks as unsuspicious as possible because as soon as he enters the room, Emily’s teasing him about the hot date he clearly had last night.

Derek might look smug but Spencer feels it: a soft swirl of satisfaction settling in his tummy, though he’s careful not to show it. He’s proud of himself for how smoothly the date went last night, much more comfortable than the first three, and he’s even happier that he can now call himself Derek Morgan’s boyfriend. He’d stayed the night for the first time last night and it couldn’t have been more special in Spencer’s eyes.

He may not be grinning like Derek is, but he’s filled with a happy sort of warmth completely unmatched by any feeling that’s ever occupied his body before. It festers and grows and develops even throughout the gruesome briefing, even when discussing the profile of an enucleator, even when looking at crime scene photos. Pretty colours still ripple through his brain, comforting him with the promise of more, the promise of purpose beyond his day job.

The colours only intensify when they walk to the jet together with Emily and JJ, chatting about their weekends in vague as possible terms. They’re nearly at the door when Derek looks at him like he did last night: like he can’t quite believe what, who, he’s seeing, like Spencer’s everything he’ll ever need to be happy. If anyone caught it, they’d be found out immediately, but they don’t.

It’s a look meant just for him.

He wants to bask in this moment for just a little longer, but they force themselves to pull their eyes away from one another and board the jet. At this point, he has no choice but to acknowledge that he will be working this case with his insides a messy, melted puddle of sentiment. And he’s not even mad about it.

⭐️

The insides of his eyelids don’t solely exist to serve their intended biological function anymore: they’re no longer just protection for his eyes but a cinema screen playing moments shared with Derek over and over again. Their first date, their first kiss, the first time Derek held him closely as he pushed slowly inside him. The looks he sends his way, the feeling of Derek’s hand in his, his broad chest and how it’s the perfect pillow for Spencer’s tired head.

Time moves too fast so Spencer has no choice but to play it back, over and over again.

“I’ve never been more jealous of your eidetic memory,” Derek chuckles when Spencer tells him this a little shyly on their next date.

At first he’s terrified his boyfriend is mocking him, not appreciating just how deadly serious he’s being, but the earnest, adoring look Derek is wearing across his features tells him otherwise. His expressive face is one of the things Spencer loves so much about him; social situations and cues are hard for him to read, but one look at Derek’s face and he knows exactly what’s happening, exactly how to respond and behave.

“It’s one of the few perks,” Spencer concedes, slipping his mittened hand into Derek’s. It’s late November and the evenings are cold, even in DC, but walking down the quiet street lit up by Christmas lights together after a delicious meal warms Spencer from the inside out.

They pause a little way down the street when Derek points up at a Christmas light decoration in the shape of a mistletoe. “It would be bad luck if we didn’t,” he says seriously despite the playfulness in his eyes.

“Can’t have that,” Spencer hums, and he plays with the wide buttons on Derek’s double-breasted coat as he leans in and connects their lips in a soft kiss, feeling Derek’s hands come to his waist in the way he likes far too much, feeling small in his boyfriend’s hold.

“An extra one for good luck,” Derek whispers as he leans in for one more after they pull away, brushing a lock of Spencer’s hair out of his eyes. “That’s how it works, you know.”

“It is?” Spencer laughs, eyes crinkling fondly at the look on his face.

“Mhm,” Derek confirms, moving his hand to Spencer’s lower back as they continue their walk back to Spencer’s apartment. “I’m a Christmas tradition expert. I know more than you, probably.”

“Sure,” Spencer grins diplomatically, leaning in closer to the warm body next to him, contentedness flooding his insides.

Derek only stays for an hour before driving back to dump his stuff and repack his go-bag for the upcoming week, but it’s sort of a good thing. A lot has happened in a very short span of time and Spencer appreciates having a bit of uninterrupted alone time to really think about what’s been going on.

They’ve had five dates by now: Derek had given him a little present to commemorate the moment, immediately making Spencer feel guilty for doing nothing of the sort, guilt which had quickly been assuaged by a gentle touch to the back of his hand. At first, he hadn’t known what to say. It was an understated necklace, a silver chain with a small triangle pendant on the end of it. He wasn’t a big jewelry person really, but on their first date, Spencer had talked at length about why triangles were his favourite shape (not his proudest moment) but Derek was so thoughtful. He could wear it all the time while easily concealing it at the same time, and it was just the most perfect gift he’d ever received.

He rolls it over in his fingers as he curls up in bed. He was falling in love with Derek, and he had absolutely no proof he was falling in love back; no proof, but he’d seen… something. Even just the present felt like statement enough. Maybe this was going to be it for him. Maybe Derek was going to finally give him the very thing he’d been craving all these years.

It’s a comforting enough thought to dampen the doubts and fears niggling at him, and it sends him to sleep with the kind of peace in his heart he’d written off as impossible a long time ago.

⭐️

Go-bags are packed, the case is wrapped up, and the team are saying their goodbyes to local law enforcement when Hotch gets the phone call.

He’s wearing a mildly irritated frown when he heads back over a few minutes later. “There’s been a problem with the jet,” he informs them, grimacing at their annoyed reactions, “so you can either drive home yourself or wait. Garcia’s re-booking the hotel for the night and I’m informed that the plane should be ready to go by the morning.”

Spencer shoots a look at Derek who immediately understands and nods in return. Columbus, Ohio is a 6/7 hour drive back to DC, and the alone time after being so close but so far for almost a week sounds like heaven. It’s only 4pm: they won’t even get home that late.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Spencer muses once they’re on the road, curled up in the driver’s seat with his trusty blanket tucked around him as he admires his sexy boyfriend at the wheel.

“What do you mean, baby?” he asks, looking over briefly.

“Well just last week we were talking about taking a road trip together and then Hotch not only gives us the opportunity but also provides the transport,” he says, thumbing the pendant around his neck. It’s become almost a self-soothing thing now: even if it’s usually hidden under his ties at work, just knowing it’s there settles something deep inside him.

Derek chuckles at that. “I’m not sure I imagined Hotch being quite so involved in our romantic get-away, but yes, it is one hell of a coincidence,” he agrees. “Although mark my words, I will take you on a proper road-trip one day. And I want to take you on a nice holiday, too. Paris, London, Florence. Bali, Thailand, maybe.”

Blush spreading across his cheeks, Spencer smiles over at Derek. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Derek grins over at him, “I’m gonna treat my pretty boy like it’s my job.”

“You already do.” He feels shy suddenly, a little overwhelmed at the emotions Derek is eliciting in him right now.

“Baby,” he says, shaking his head, mischief dancing in his eyes, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Spencer’s already thinking of counting it as their eighth date, but Derek seals the deal when he pulls off the interstate and onto a much quieter road as they near DC. It’s just gone 10 and the December night is cool and clear, but he still looks quizzically at his boyfriend as the engine shuts off.

“Trust me,” Derek says and gets out of the car. Spencer, of course, trusts Derek implicitly so obediently gets out of the car and joins him at the front of the jeep, leaning against the hood. “Look how beautiful it is.”

They’re on a country road, surrounded by wheat and barley fields, but Derek’s looking up. The night sky is littered with stars, constellations clear as day against the inky black backdrop of mid-December. “My favourite constellation is probably Cassiopeia, you know,” Spencer explains, barely observing the sky before looking to Derek to impart his knowledge. “She’s one of the only figures banished to the heavenly realm as punishment and not in honour, and it was because she flaunted her beauty too much, and her vanity--”

He’s interrupted by a hand on his forearm. “Spencer,” Derek says softly, catching his attention and slowing his info-dump. “Look up.”

Instead of thinking about all the intellectual and academic aspects of astronomy, astrology, and physics, he takes a good while to just absorb the beauty of the night, probably for the first time in his life. He lets himself rest in that moment, sinking into Derek’s side as they shiver a little in the frigid air, staring at the bright, twinkling lights smiling down at them.

For some reason, it feels like the universe’s blessing. The stars aligning, the inky sky approving, frozen air applauding. Derek leans over and kisses Spencer, holding his face in both his hands as their insides warm against the cold and in that moment Spencer knows. He still has no proof Derek feels the same way, but with one touch he knows that he’s in love.

⭐️

Spending Christmas apart is hard, but they make up for it with their eleventh date, Derek driving them over to the National Zoo and listening diligently to Spencer’s info-dumping. They spend the whole afternoon walking through all the exhibits and Derek buys him a pretty steady stream of candy-floss, hot-dogs and cuddly toys throughout their time there, keeping Spencer flushed and happy, completely in his element.

Derek cooks them dinner at his apartment afterwards, making Spencer’s favourite, a simple spaghetti bolognese with a healthy amount of homemade garlic bread on the side, and they eat at the cosy kitchen table, cheesy candles aflame as they chat easily.

They get ready for bed in tandem, brushing their teeth together, toothpaste spilling down their chins as they laugh wildly at each other in the mirror. It’s a comfortable sort of ease, a domesticity that feels far too natural for such a youthful relationship. It works though, and neither of them are complaining as they fall asleep folded into each other’s arms.

Spencer wakes up first but Derek isn’t far behind him, kissing his scrunched up nose almost as soon as he opens his eyes to find Spencer lazily curled up on his chest. “Breakfast?” he asks.

“Please.”

The toast Derek puts in ends up burning when they get distracted by one another, but Derek just laughs and puts it in the bin and drives them to McDonald’s instead. “I hope you know I’m keeping this shirt,” Spencer teases as they pull on loose sweatpants and trainers and hop into Derek’s car.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, baby,” Derek says sincerely. “My entire wardrobe is open for your perusal. Seeing you in my clothes does things to me.”

“I know,” Spencer says, face full of faux innocence. “Why do you think I want to keep them?”

“You are such a fucking tease,” Derek smirks, shaking his head disapprovingly, “but you know I love it.”

“Mm, I do,” Spencer agrees, reaching across the console and resting a hand on Derek’s thigh.

“Oh, God, baby, you just wait until we get home.”

Spencer pulls his hand away, satisfied smile playing across his lips.

“Brat,” Derek mutters under his breath as they pull into the drive-thru. Spencer just smiles wider.

Spencer lets his guard down with Derek in a way he’s never done with anybody else and you’d have to be stupid not to notice, so of course Derek is fully aware of the responsibility on his shoulders. Later that morning, after a greasy breakfast, satisfying fuck, and a shared shower, they sprawl across the sofa, nestled into one another comfortably as the TV plays some hallmark movie in the background.

“My last boyfriend didn’t turn out so nice,” Spencer says when Derek brings up the topic of exes. It brings a heavier note to their light-hearted conversation, but he knows they’ll have to talk about it eventually and it might as well be now. “He got into it because he thought I was innocent and attractive, but when it came to actually spending time together and he found more out about me, he changed his mind.”

“Baby,” Derek murmurs into his hair, “dId he hurt you?” His voice is full of apprehension, afraid of the answer but needing to know.

“Only once,” Spencer whispers. “I left him after that. But he was kind of emotionally cruel before that and it compounded on a lot of issues I already had from when I was little, you know, with my dad and bullies and everything. It took a long time to rebuild myself, I just…”

He trails off, not knowing how to put what he wants to say into words.

“Sweetheart, I need you to know that I will never hurt you, not like that,” Derek says earnestly as he catches onto what Spencer’s afraid of deep down, caressing his arm softly. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes or accidentally say something wrong, but I will never hurt you like others have done in the past. You’re safe with me, pretty boy. And I am so proud of you for building yourself back up after trauma like that: you are absolutely the strongest person I know, and I don’t say that lightly, yeah?”

And, yeah. That feels like proof for Spencer.

⭐️

They keep it a secret for as long as possible, but Emily finds out in late March and Rossi follows shortly after. Even once it’s out to everyone, though, they don’t change their work dynamic, they don’t give into any kind of temptation in the field, despite not having to hide anymore. They know the only way they’ll be allowed to stay on the same team is if it doesn’t affect their actions and choices one bit. So even though Derek’s protectiveness is ratcheted up several notches, he swallows it down and doesn’t comment on dangerous situations Spencer goes into. He’s sure Spencer would find that pretty hypocritical anyway; he’s constantly chastising his own recklessness in the field.

Just because Derek bites his tongue at work, though, doesn’t mean he can’t comment on it at home. So after a particularly irresponsible decision Spencer makes in a hostage situation, seriously endangering himself, he holds it in until they step into Derek’s apartment and Spencer looks at him, confused at why he’s clearly stewing in something and not talking about it.

“What’s going on?” he asks as he toes his shoes off and makes himself at home in the same way he’s done for months now.

“What’s going on?” Derek repeats incredulously, raising his voice ever so slightly. “You were so fucking rash and reckless today Spencer, you could have died! And you ask me what’s going on? Are you fucking kidding me?” Really it’s fear manifesting itself as anger but right now the rage bubbling up inside him feels almost suffocating.

“I knew what I was doing,” Spencer says defensively, looking completely bewildered at the sudden outburst.

“You know that what you were doing was seriously endangering yourself, Spencer,” Derek argues, voice rising even more. “Yes, you saved a hostage today. But you also could have gotten yourself killed, and you have to understand that your life is not worth less than anybody else’s, okay?”

“Derek, I signed up for this life, she didn’t--”

“No,” Derek shouts. “No, don’t give me that. It would fucking crush me to lose you, Spencer, and it seems like you don’t even care about that. Do my feelings even matter to you?”

“What? Of course, they do, Derek,” Spencer says, still looking caught off guard and confused as he tries to figure out the situation and why his boyfriend is so angry. He tries to temper the unpleasant feelings filling his chest cavity, like muscle memory, fingers remembering a piece of sheet music played far too many times.

“Well then fucking prove it,” Derek yells. “You aren’t listening to me! You endangered yourself and that’s terrifying for me. Your life matters Spencer, and sometimes I feel like it matters more to me than it does to you!”

“Derek, please calm down,” he pleads, wanting to talk about this properly and not feel so ambushed. “You’re scaring me.”

That immediately catches Derek’s attention and the anger seems to leak out of him like a stopper’s been pulled out, draining him dry for only a moment before fear and guilt fill its place. “Fuck,” he mutters, sitting on the sofa and burying his head in his hands for a second before sitting up and making eye contact with Spencer. “I’m sorry, Spencer, I shouldn’t have yelled. I just… you scared me. You went against protocol today. You know that the FBI does not mandate agents putting themselves at serious risk of death or injury, even if it would save a life. Your life matters so much, to me, to the team, to your mum. People care so much about you, baby, and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, okay? You put the fear of God in me earlier and sometimes… sometimes anger is the only way I know how to deal with those emotions.”

“I know,” Spencer whispers, and though it’s unsaid they both understand he’s acknowledging every part of Derek’s speech. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t think about how my actions would affect you. I guess I’ve gone so long as a solo act, only having to think about myself and with very little to live for, it’s just taking time to adjust to remembering that I have you and your emotions to consider now. I need you to know, though, that I can’t deal with it when you shout at me like that, if you have a problem I need you to discuss it with me because I can’t figure out what’s going on when there are lots of emotions and raised voices, it confuses and upsets me.”

“I will, Spencer, I promise. I’m so genuinely sorry I handled it so poorly this time.”

“Thank you,” he whispers gratefully.

“Come here,” Derek says, the beginnings of a smile playing over his lips. He pulls Spencer into a gentle embrace, relishing the feel of Spencer, alive, pressed against his body. His warm skin, beating heart, soft curls, all shared with him, entrusted to him.

“Next time I’ll stop and think about you, Derek,” Spencer says softly as he rests his head against his shoulder. “I’ll remember to prioritise us, remember that we can’t save everyone.”

“Thank you, baby,” Derek says. “And I’ll be more patient; remember that you haven’t had anyone to remind you properly of the worth you have in a long time. We’re good, though, aren’t we?”

“So good,” Spencer confirms, pulling back and smiling properly before kissing Derek softly. He moves down to nose at his neck slightly, pressing a few tender kisses there, too. “Shall we head to bed? You look exhausted.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Derek agrees before a cheeky smile plays across his features. “As long as you wear one of my shirts again…”

“Oh, what a hardship,” Spencer groans, winking at him in the lop-sided, awkward way he always does. “But I suppose I’ll do anything for you.”

Spencer stays up for a little while after Derek falls asleep, reading over some casenotes, a few consults, and figuring out a new angle for a research paper he’s working on. Quiet, methodical work -- no matter how gruesome -- helps him wind-down after the high adrenaline of a case and it feels extra necessary tonight after the argument he’d had with Derek.

He feels his boyfriend stir only a few hours after he’s dropped off to sleep, staring up at Spencer in the soft glow of the pink lamp on the bedside table bought for exactly these sorts of nights. A strange look plays across his face as he reaches for Spencer’s hand and holds it.

“You’re my best friend, Spencer,” he says, completely serious. “You know that, don’t you?”

Spencer’s done obsessing over proof.

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at their intertwined hands before back at his face, “I love you, too, Derek.” His smile softens even more when he sees Derek’s face relax into a relieved expression, knowing that his meaning was understood.

“Good,” he whispers, kissing the back of Spencer’s hand before lying his head back down on the pillow. “Night, pretty boy. I love you.”

As Derek drifts back off to sleep, he hears those words echoing around in the silence, a soothing, methodic rhythm of reassurance that what he’s wished for since the very first look on the way to the jet has materialised.

Knowing it is one thing, but hearing it is another. Derek loves him. He hears it in the silence, feels it on the way home, and when he curls up next to his boyfriend, he can even see it with the lights off.

#my writing #moreid #moreid fic #derek #spencer #derek morgan #spencer reid #criminal minds fic #criminal minds writing #criminal minds angst #tw abuse #criminal minds fluff #moreid fluff #derek x spencer #derek morgan x spencer reid

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cruecifymesixx · 5 years ago

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Love and Leather /part Sixxty Nine/

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: meet snakey sixx everyone! enjoy! feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: light smut, language, nikki being sketchy

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @justjodeye, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, , @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer@electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess, @zoenicoles, @marvelismylifffe

We rolled around black satin sheets, gasping for air with lips ghosting over one another as Nikki hooked my leg around his waist. Nikki wrapped fingers into my hair, pulling my head back as he kissed my neck with heavy breaths brushing my skin. French tips scraped up his back, engraving crescent moons into his shoulder blades. Nikki’s panting and moaning was prolonged as the pace of his thrusts became erratic before a deep groan tumbled off his lips and onto mine.

“If you came home you could get fucked like this whenever you wanted.”

I wiped sweat from my brow, staring up at the ceiling as light kisses swept over my chest. When they tried meeting my lips, I tilted my head to the side, “I have to go get Ari from school.” I unraveled my legs from his hips as he sighed and rolled off of me, holding his junk in his hands as he went to the bathroom, displaying bratty behavior as he slammed the door.

I picked up my panties from the floor, well what was left of the tattered shreds. I tossed them in trash can before grabbing my jeans and sliding them on. I threw a sweater over my shoulders, being content of finally not having to deal with the uncomfortable and itchy sling wrapped around me.

My shower started running, taking the hint that he didn’t want to go with me. He’s been pressing the whole ‘come back to California so we can be a family thing’ for the past week and a half now, but he’s persistent and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

*Nikki’s POV*

I heard the front door shut, rolling my eyes as the hot water ran over me. I know my remarks are coming off as brash, but she won’t even bother to have the conversation of moving back with me. She just brushes it off or completely ignores me. We spend most of our time in her bed when Arianna is at school, I’m not complaining about it, it’s one of my favorite pastime, being able to get between her legs. Always has been. But I need more from her. Hell, we haven’t even talked about us being together yet.

Was I rushing her? Possibly, but we’ve already wasted so much time in the last few years of her being gone. So was I really in the wrong for wanting her back home? Where she belongs? To be with me so all three of us can be a family? Why is that such a bad thing to want? She should want that too.

I turned the water off, stepping out as I wrapped a towel around my waist loosely as I walked out into her bedroom. I fixed the blankets and pillow on the bed. I went into her closet eyeballing shopping bags that were in the corner as I dug through my suitcase, opting to wear sweats and a black shirt. I organized my suitcase after, shoving clothes back inside before pushing it against the wall and out of her since she was already complaining she tripped over it. I stood in the middle of her closet looking at all the dresses, some were new and some were old with very fond memories attached to them, others were a bit hazy.

I noticed a small box on the upper shelf that had ‘N.Sixx’ written on it. I stepped out of the closet, trying to hear if there was any signs of her returning with Arianna. I closed the closet door before grabbing the box and sitting down the floor with it. I furrowed my eyebrows, clothes I haven’t seen in years. An old black scarf with red skulls, an old baseball cap, a white and grey and ripped up T-Rex shirt. I wonder when Sage and Greyson came to get her stuff they accidentally mixed some of my things in with hers. I pulled out all the garments seeing all five of the albums on vinyl. I’m assuming she didn’t get the ‘Decade of Decadence’ album...

I smiled to myself, seeing all the covers were signed by the four of us. There was also a few pictures of Vanity with all us. I couldn’t remember when any of them were taken. My eyebrows furrowed when I saw a matte black shoe box under the albums. I gently grabbed it, seeing that it was deteriorating already. I opened up the lid seeing faded and withered deep red rose petals mixed with dried up yellow and pink ones. She’s into some weird shit.

I dug around in the box seeing a handful of folded up pieces of paper. I took one and flattened it out across my knee, reading my own hand writing:

‘Good morning beautiful, I tried being as quiet as I possibly could. I had to leave early to go to the studio. I should be home around 4pm. Be ready when I get back, I want to take you out to dinner tonight.’

-Nikki

I grabbed another piece of paper:

‘Look at the beauty in her eyes,

A glow that shines like the sunrise.

Her smile opens up the cloudy skies,

Her laughter delights butterflies.’

‘She is a thornless rose without compare,

She is the love my heart will forever endear.’

I shoved that note into the pocket of my sweats, maybe a song could come out of it?

I reached for another note, seeing her name written in blue cursive as it was folded up into a heart:

‘I’m sorry I caused our fight last night. I’m trying my hardest to wean myself off the junk, I didn’t mean the words I said to you. You didn’t deserve it doll. To see those pretty eyes filled with tears, it just rips me to shreds even more than what I already am. If you actually saw this, I didn’t know where to leave it other then on the windshield of your car, come by Tommy’s house later. We’re having a party.’

-Nikki Sixx

There was more bits and pieces of papers folded up, I chose not to read all of them because I got the just of it all. She had kept all the little love notes I’ve left for her over the course of our relationship. My heart swelled when I saw a picture strip of us, probably from the Santa Monica boardwalk. It had to of been before I was sober as my arms weren’t covered in tattoos.

*flashback, 1986*

“Come on. Let’s go in there.” I turned back to look at Vanity, “I want to take pictures.” I smiled, tugging on her hand as I lead her into a photo booth.

“This is so lame, Nikki.” She chuckled a bit as I pulled her straight on to my lap. I grinned, kissing her bare shoulder as I put a dollar into the machine, “Can we get some chili cheese fries afterwards I am- hey! I wasn’t ready!” She cracked up in a fit of laughter as the flashes started going off.

“Pay attention. Or I’ll be the photogenic one. Not like it’s hard or anything.” I joked as she looked at me, another bright flash going off.

“As if, you don’t have the fancy photographers to make you look good right now. Your hairs flat and you look average.” She stuck her tongue out, throwing up the devil horns with one hand as she wrapped her free arm around my shoulder tightly.

“Average? If I was average could I get away with this?” I quickly pulled up the t shirt she was wearing, the flash going off right on time to get a great tit shot even if she was wearing a bra.

“Nikki!!” She squirmed in my lap, smacking my hands away from her shirt before fixing it, “That was a dick move.” She mumbled as I smiled and placed my lips on hers, tasting vanilla chapstick and the sticky sweetness of left over cotton candy.

“I’ll give you a dick move later.” I wiggled my eyebrows as she planted her lips back on mine.

“Sorry, average guys don’t get to do that.” She teased, sliding off my lap and pushing the curtain back to leave the booth.

We both reached for the photo strip at the same time, however I was faster then her as I held it high above her reach. I chuckled before handing it over to her, “Here. You keep it, to remind yourself of all the fun you have with ‘ol average Nikki.”

*end flashback*

I panicked when I heard the front door close, “Shit!” I mumbled as I accidentally dropped the box, spilling the rose petals everywhere. I picked them up gently, not wanting them to crumble in my fingers as I put everything back in the shoe box before placing it back into the other box and then back onto the shelf.

I opened the closet door, gently shutting it as I walked out of Vans bedroom, “Angel! How was school- oh...hey Clementine.” I stared at her as she had a pizza box in her hands before putting them on the counter.

“Uh...Van left to go get Arianna.” I explained as she nodded, “Yeah I know, this is what we do every Friday. I come over with pizza after school and then we hang out.” Clementine replied.

“Oh...uh cool. Thanks for the pizza. I thought you worked in Arianna’s class?” I questioned as I grabbed a slice and went to sit in the living room, kicking my feet up on the coffee table.

“I’m just a teachers assistant. Only work at the school three days a week.” I watched as she put her jacket and purse down before flipping on the tv.

“You seem to be making yourself comfortable here.” Clementine voiced.

I smirked, “Could say the same thing about you.” I took another bite, glancing over at her, “I mean, you being Arianna’s aunt and all. So if you only work three days at the school, how do you pay your bills?”

Clementine narrowed her eyes at me, “My paintings sell, plus babysitting Arianna.”

I nodded as I tossed the crust onto the coffee table, “Oh, I would’ve thought maybe Tommy was paying for your stuff or something.” I shrugged laughing towards myself as I channel surfed.

“Nikki, you know Tommy doesn’t pay for anything.” She defended herself as I chuckled.

“How am I suppose to know that? You think I pay attention when he talks about you?” I shook my head at her statement

"Please you love to find anything on me to use at any chance you get." Clementine spoke in a matter of fact tone. I rolled my eyes and looked over at her.

“Me?” I scoffed, “What have I ever done to you?” I chuckled a bit as I grabbed my water bottle from the table and took a sip.

“Nikki...” She shook her head as she started picking up toys from the living room floor, “Don’t act like you don’t treat me like dirt.”

I smirked, “I treat you like dirt? Huh, maybe you’re just too sensitive.”

“And maybe you’re too much of a dick. Maybe even jealous?” I stared at her as she stood in front of the tv, blocking what I was watching.

“Me a dick? Maybe. I think you missed a toy.” I motioned to a stuffed animal as she picked it up and threw it in a toy bin.

“You take the name asshole too gladly.” She grumbled, “You should be nice considering the fact I’ve been watching you daughter since the day she was born and have been here while she’s grown up while you’re off being blown by Brandi and snorting coke.”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Our scowls met each other, “Plus, Vanity has forgiven me and we’re working through it, alright? So back off. I know I’ve already missed a lot. Do you want a thank you for stepping in?”

Clementine shook her head, “No, not from you because it would mean nothing.”

I chuckled a bit, “Thank you Clementine for taking care of my girls, but I got it from here. You aren’t needed.”

“Excuse me?”

I ran my hand over my face, “I mean, I’m here now and I’ve appreciated what you’ve done but you don’t need too anymore. I’m Arianna’s father and I can give her everything she needs and more. Same with Vanity.” My lips tugged into a smirk as I stared at her, “They’re gonna come back home with me, you know what that right?”

Clementine stopped cleaning as she held onto one of Ari’s toys, “Yes, eventually they will.”

I shook my head, “We’ve already discussed it. She’s more than thrilled to come back home.”

I knew I was lying straight threw my fucking teeth. But I also knew Vanity would cave and stop being stubborn and would come back with me. It was just a matter of time. If I could just get Clementine to get Van on the same page as me, it would be a lot smoother.

“You’re lying. She hasn’t mentioned it to me at all. She would tell me something like that.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure about that? From what I understand, She’s scared because she knows how you get. She thinks you’re gonna lash out or something. I don’t blame her, you’ve tried controlling what she does before and she doesn’t do well being held down.”

Clementine stares at me in shocking, noticing the wheels turning in her head, “I-I don’t lash out. If anything I’ve kept Vanity from doing stupid shit and making herself look like an idiot. How I am? Nikki, you’re so full of shit.”

“Am I now? She says you’re overbearing and overly sensitive about everything which I thought she was just being dramatic, but I see it now.”

Clementine shook her head, “She wouldn’t say that about me. We’re best friends, I’m the god mother to her child, your child. She wouldn’t say anything behind my back that she wouldn’t say to my face. You of all people should know that Nikki. What the hell are you even trying to do right now? Get me out of her life?”

I chuckled, exhaling as I got off the couch and went to my jacket that was hanging in a chair, “It’s simple Clemmy. We don’t need you around any longer. But for your wonderful service however...” I grabbed my wallet, pulling out a blank check, “I’m willing to give you X amount of money for you to uh, back off and convince Vanity to go back home.”

I reached for a pen, fiddling with it as I stared at her, “What do you say? Just throw a number out there for me and we’ll call it even.” I smiled as her eyebrows were knit tight.

“Don’t need me? You can’t just fucking pay me off! What the hell is the matter with you!?” She shouted at me as I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose in annoyance.

“Look, Vanity treats you like a rag doll. You’re constantly cleaning up her messes and trying to fix things. I love her to death but she walks all over you and anyone else that waits on her hand and foot. You’re practically her maid.”

Her eyebrows raised in shock, “I’m not her fucking maid. I do what I do for Vanity and Arianna because I love them not because I’m asked too, I do it because I care.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, how does fifteen thousand sound?”

“Nikki! No! I’m not doing this.”

“Twenty five thousand?” I smiled a bit when her eyes flickered to the check, remotely considering taking it from me.

“No, I don’t need your money.” She said weakly, eyes never leaving the small piece of paper that laid between my fingers.

“I could obviously throw in a little extra for you to keep your mouth shut. How does fifty grand sound? You could do a lot with that. Pay off some loans, maybe get a better car, maybe a deposit on a new place to live. I’m just trying to ease the blow of you being alone.”

Her gaze met mine, the fact of her being alone finally dawned on her once Vanity and Arianna would leave for California, “I won’t be alone. I have Tommy.”

I laughed, “Tommy? Oh? He hasn’t told you has he?”

Clementines face scrunched up before relaxing to a neutral state, “Told me what, Nikki?”

“Ah, I don’t know. Never mind.” I chuckled a bit, “So is fifty our winning number?” I raised an eyebrow as I brought a inky blue pen down to the paper, “Well, I’ll tell you anyways because you deserve to know, and I’d want to know if I was you.” I explained as I signed my name before blowing on the paper, “You know his divorce with Heather isn’t finalized, right? They haven’t signed papers yet.”

Now, that wasn’t a lie.

I folded up the check and handed it out for her, seeing tears in her eyes, ”Wh-what? He said they were...” she mumbled to herself as I shrugged. I looked towards the door when I heard keys jingle. I quickly put the check in her jacket pocket before patting her arm.

“Oh! Hey Clem! Didn’t think you’d be by today.” Vanity was full of smiles as Arianna ran in front of her and to me.

“Hi sweet pea. How was school?” I picked Arianna up, kissing her cheek as I held her at my side, “Did you know red and blue makes purple and green and yellow makes blue?!” I chuckled as she yelled ecstatically in my face.

“Really? I did not know that! Maybe you’ll have to show me later.” I matched her enthusiasm as she nodded feverishly before wiggling out of my arms and running over to her toys.

“I was just heading out actually...” Clementine spoke at a hushed tone as she started grabbing her jacket and purse.

“Oh...I was gonna order Chinese from our favorite place for dinner later. You sure you have to go? You know you can stay.” Vanity clarified as she smiled at Clem, “I haven’t seen you in a few days...”

I rolled my eyes as Clementine shook her head, “I wouldn’t want to be in the way of Nikki visiting.” I nodded in agreement, stopping when Van looked over at me, “I don’t really feel that well either.”

I snaked my arms around Vanity and pulled her to me as I leaned my chin onto her shoulder, “What? Who cares about Nikki?” Vanity laughed as I ran my finger tips up her sides as she tried pushing my hands off her, “I was gonna order extra pot stickers because I know we always fight over the last one.”

I held her tightly, smiling at Clementine, “If she doesn’t feel good I’m sure she wouldn’t want Arianna to catch whatever she has, isn’t that right Clemmy?” I placed light kisses on the side of Vans neck as she tried pulling away from me.

“He’s right Van....wouldn’t want Arianna to get sick. I’ll call you okay?” Clementine assured as Vanity reluctantly nodded.

“Bye auntie.” Arianna came over and hugged Clem’s legs. She smiled down at her, brushing pieces of hair out of her face, “Don’t let mommy have the last pot sticker.”

“Bye Clementine. Thanks for stopping by.” I spoke, sauntering over to the door as I felt her glare at me. I opened up the door for her as Vanity waved bye to her before she got distracted with Arianna.

“I hope you rot in hell.” Clementine whispered to me as I nodded, pretending to take it into consideration before shutting the door in her face.

By a sparkly gold painted finger, Vanity motioned for me to come to her. I exhaled deeply as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, finger tips twirling the ends of my hair, “Promise me you didn’t say anything to her.”

I smiled, shaking my head as I ran my knuckle over her cheek bone, “What? Of course not doll, she just wasn’t feeling good. But Chinese for dinner? I’m starving. The pizza she brought was gross.”

Vanity stared up at me, seeming like she was deep in thought, “Are you sure you didn’t say anything? She seemed upset...”

I made an ‘X’ over my heart, “I swear Van. I didn’t say anything. She wanted to stay but then she got sick in the bathroom. She didn’t look to good when she came in. Don’t worry about it babe, I’m sure she’s fine.”

“Yeah, okay. You’re probably right.” She uttered as I pressed my lips to her forehead.

“Usually am, anyways.”

*A few days later, Vanity’s POV*

I walked up the broken up pathway of Clementines cute little duplex. I bent down, picking up the lady bug painted rock Arianna had made for her and grabbing the spare key to let myself in, “Clem! You home?” I called out for her, glancing around at the mess on her small dining table. The smell of old incense rested in the cool air as all the blinds and curtains were closed.

“It’s Van! Uh...I tried calling!”

I heard water from the bathroom running, “I’m home! I’ll be right there!” Clem spoke as I noticed the dark and gloomy paintings that were on an easel drying. I smiled when she came out into her living room. She didn’t look to hot. Baggy sweats and a white shirt that had blue and green paint splatters on it as her vibrant blue hair was up in a bun.

“I’ve been calling and you’ve been ignoring me.”I spoke as I pushed decorative pillows to the side and sat down ion her couch, also moving a empty pizza box out of my way.

“I’ve been busy. What do you want?” Clementine expresses hastily as I titled my head to the side.

“What’s with that attitude?” I brushed it off quickly, “You totally missed our Friday movie night. Arianna was excited for it. I let her pick out the snacks and candies.” I smiled at her as grabbed a half smoked cigarette and lit it.

“You two had Nikki. We’ve had plenty of movie nights together. I’m sure it was fine if I missed one.”

I chuckled, “Nikki doesn’t count. Friday’s have always been our thing.” I motioned between us as she didn’t seem amused with me being here.

Clementine shrugged, “Well it won’t be a thing soon with you moving to California.”

I groaned, “Nikki...” I closed my eyes before I looked back at her, “Clementine, it’s still discussion between him and I. We’re still trying to find a middle ground.”

Fuckin Sixx. I can’t believe him.

“Really? Cause it seems like you’ve already made that choice. Since I’m not needed as much now.” Bitterness lingered off her tongue as she stared at me intently.

I rubbed my lips together, trying to figure out what to say to her, “Clem? I haven’t made any choice yet that’s why I haven’t brought it up to you.” I frowned at the fact that Nikki would even go ahead and start telling people I was coming back regardless of how I felt right now, “Who said you weren’t needed? Because I know it’s not me.”

“Oh, please. I know you want to go back to California. You miss it and you have other friends there. No need to stay for Clem, not that I expect you to stay for just me.” Clementine expressed as I shook my head in frustration.

“Are you not listening to me? I haven’t decided if I want to go back. It’s all Nikki who keeps pushing it. Did I do something wrong?”

She sighed, taking off her glasses and wiping them on her shirt, “I’m thinking logically Vanity. Why wouldn’t you want to go back to Los Angeles, be with Nikki and raise Arianna? You can’t have me at your side forever.”

“I know that…” I mumbled, ripping strings off my jeans as I adverted her gaze, “Still, I was gonna offer if you wanted to move with us if I decided too.”

“Move in? With you and Arianna? And him?”

I nodded, “Of course! I mean, you saw how big the house is when you went to California with Tommy. There would be more than enough room for you and all of your things. Arianna needs her aunt and I need you too.” I spoke softly, that itself wasn’t a lie. It was the truth. If i was gonna end up back in Hollywood, I sure as hell would need her by my side.

She sighed, folding her arms over her sternum, “Nikki wouldn’t let me step foot in his house.”

“Our house.” I corrected her, “That house is just as much mine as it is his. Stop worrying about Nikki, I promise he’s not out to get you.”

“Van, you know he doesn’t like me.” Clementine countered as I rolled my eyes, “He’s never liked me from the start.”

I huffed, “Nikki does like you. He just doesn’t know you that well. But so what if he doesn’t like you? That’s his own problem not anyone else’s. If he wants me back home like he says he does then he’ll just have to deal with it.”

Clementine rolled her eyes, “For once, can you just not defend him? He acts nice for you Vanity, but when you’re not around it’s different. He’s an asshole.”

I snickered, “Clemmy, Nikki is an asshole to everyone including me. Nikki’s an acquired taste.”

“Yeah, well, he’s always talking down and ridiculing me. He uses my relationship with you and Tommy constantly. Like, did you know Tommy’s divorce isn’t finalized?” Clem sulked as she came and sat next to me.

I looked at her, “Well, I mean….T mentioned it a time or two ago…”

“Is it or is it not?” She questioned again, “Because Nikki said that it wasn’t.”

I noticed her cheeks turn pink as tears were starting to form, “Well…they’re still figuring out who gets what. It doesn’t mean anything, Clem. Tommy is in deep with you, you know that.”

“He’s still married, Van. He’s been lying to me. Are they living in the same house? Why wouldn’t he tell me something like that? He’s taking a page out of Nikki’s book.”

I frowned at her words, “Tommy’s just…I don’t know. But no, he’s been renting out a condo while she’s at the house.”

Clementine wiped her eyes, frustratingly tossing her glasses into the side table, “Just still with her on paper. Why hasn’t he signed them? And why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me get involved with him if you knew he was still married.”

“I’ve been telling him he needs to get them signed. And, I-I just, it wasn’t any of my business and I didn’t think twice about it. He kept saying he was working on it. You know how Tommy feels about you Clem, he isn’t lying about that.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten serious if I knew he was still considered married, Van! I don’t want to be labeled as some home wrecker!” Her shouting took me by surprise as I gawked are her.

“You’re not a slut, Clem! Look, there’s no Hard feelings between them. Heather knows about you already and she’s happy for you two. Tommy’s told me.”

She frowned, looking down at the floor as she rubbed her neck, “She knows?”

“Yeah, she does. Heather is a sweetheart. She doesn’t have one bad bone in her body. But look, I’ll talk to Tommy. I’m sure he’s upset with himself too, okay?”

Clementine shook her head, “Yeah, can’t wait to have him heated over the phone. Just love when he angrily hangs up and then leaves drunk messages.”

“Well, maybe you should think about moving to LA. I’m sure the distance thing is hard. Just consider it okay? I would have a bedroom ready for you and a place for you to work on your art. Just think about it, okay?” I expressed as I reached over and rubbed her arm, “Plus, we’d have so much fun together in California.”

Clementine smiled a bit as she leaned her head on my shoulder, “I know, I know. I’ll think about it.”

I rested my cheek against the top of her head, “Thank you. Now, stop being all gloomy and open up some windows. Smells like a suffering artist in here.” I chuckled as she attempted punched me in the leg lightly.

“Tell Arianna I’ll make up for missing movie night with some ice cream this weekend.” I nodded as she moved away from me.

“I should get back home. I’m sure Nikki’s waiting for me so he can force I love you’s down my throat as well as other things.”

I chuckled when Clementine pretended to gag, “I’ll call you Van.”

I arrived back home, opening the door to see Nikki strumming away at the bass, pausing to write something down before continuing to play, “Ari in bed already?” I asked him as he looked up at me and nodded.

“Bout thirty minutes ago, she hardly fought me this time.” Nikki explained as I put my purse on the table, kicking off my shoes before I walked over to the couch and sat by him.

“How’s Clem feeling?” Nikki chuckles a bit as he strummed a chord. I saw the down played smirk on his lips. I wrapped my hand around the fretboard as he looked up at me, flipping his hair back and out of his face as he did so, “Yes, Princess?”

“Nikki, tell me you didn’t talk shit to Clementine to rile her up.” I questioned him as he looked away from me quickly. I caught his jaw, forcing him to keep eye contact, “Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t.” I felt the jaw muscles under my palm contract.

“I didn’t.” He paused as he gave me a crooked smile, “I may have mentioned California and she got upset, that was it. I didn’t do it on purpose if that’s what she’s having you believe.” Nikki pulled away from my touch as he put his bass down on the floor.

“Nikki, why would you even mention California to her in the first place? I haven’t even told her!” I shouted quietly, Nikki looking at me through furrowed brows.

“Baby, I thought she knew you were thinking about coming back home. That’s all.” Nikki spoke softly as he rested his hand on my knee, “I just assumed you would’ve told her already. I am sorry.”

I pushed his hand away from me, “I haven’t told her anything because I don’t know what I want! I wanted to wait until I decided to bring it up to her. That’s why I haven’t told her Nikki.” I shook my head as I leaned my head back on the couch cushion, “And now she’s upset and Clem doesn’t normally get upset easily.” I mumbled as Nikki wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest.

“Really? Cause I thought everything makes her cry?” He chuckled as I shoved his chest a bit, “Tommy bitches about it sometimes too.”

“Nikki.” I said his name sternly as he laughed again, seeing him try to kiss me but I turned my head. Nikki then forcefully gripped my jaw to make me look at him.

“It’s just a joke, relax princess.” He mumbled before he placed a soft, warm kiss on my lips, “So…how about California?” He smiled, wiping my gloss off his lips as I laid my head on his lap.

“I offered Clementine a bedroom at the house.” I ripped the band aid off quickly as he stared down at me.

“What-why? Wh-why would you do that? Vanity, what the fuck?” Nikki grumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.

“Well, because someone-“ I scowled at him, “Also told her Tommy hasn’t signed the divorce papers. So now, she’s not even gonna consider moving in with him, not like she was anyways. Plus, she’s my family.”

Nikki vocally groaned, “That-that was my bad. I didn’t mean for that to slip, but c’mon doll. If she’s serious about Tommy she’ll move in with him eventually so why have her come into our home?”

I narrowed my eyes, “Because I want her too. Damnit Nikki. Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut? I’m sure you did it on purpose just to make her feel bad.”

He shook his head, “No! I didn’t. Babe, she’s your best friend and godmother of our daughter. I wouldn’t do that.

“So why can’t she move in with us? It’s my house too. And I also have a say who comes in and who doesn’t.” I argued back, “And! She’d be closer to Tommy and that means he wouldn’t leave all the time and the band could actually make some music. Isn’t that what you want?”

Nikki rubbed his temples as he smirked a bit, “Yes, that’s what I want. But I don’t want some stranger in my house. I don’t know her Vanity.”

I shrugged, “So what? I know her. Plus, Arianna will already be dealing with a change in her environment. I wouldn’t want to take Clementine away from her too. If you want me and Arianna you’ll also get Clementine too.”

Nikki looked up at the ceiling, probably cursing God for making him have to deal with me, “Fine! Fine! You want Clementine to come too? Fine. I’ll have a room ready for her and just to be nice, I’ll even give her a studio to make her art in peace and out of the way.”

“I also want my own bedroom…”

I wasn’t ready to be with him again.

Confusion and hurt was written all over his face, “Wh-what? What do you mean? Your own bedroom? You have a bedroom? I thought we’d share one…”

I sat up in a sitting position as I looked at him, “Vanity, I’ve apologized a dozen times.”

I nodded, “No, I know. And I know you’re sorry. But, I’m not ready to be with you. Can you understand that?”

Nikki frowned, “You don’t want to be with me?”

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t bring myself to say yes or no. I just didn’t know what I wanted.

“Sixx, I love you. And you know I love you. But I think we still have a lot we need to work on before we could even think about getting back to where we were before.” I expressed as he nodded.

“I just want to be with you, Van.” He mumbles as he took my hand in his, “To just be yours again. And you to be mine and have a life together.”

I gazed into his mossy hued eyes, resting my hand against his jaw again as he slightly turned his cheek to kiss my open palm. He nuzzled his face into my hand, a pearly white smile meeting mine, “This is how we start again.”

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katblu42 · 4 years ago

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Not fun week (and a half)

I feel like I need to apologise for being a bit quiet for the last few days.

For a while I was somewhat confused by my lack of ability to put words together in coherent sentences when I got online of an evening. Then I realised how much I was stressing about work stuff, how many extra hours I was doing, and how many up-coming work days I’m kind of anxious about.

I’ve had a week or so of feeling like I haven’t achieved anything, while still winding up exhausted. It didn’t make any sense to me, so I decided I needed to analyse my work week.

Inspired by some of @ak47stylegirl‘s recent posts detailing the activities of each day, I finally made a list of everything I had actually done this week at work. Then I realised the stress actually reaches back to the previous Wednesday when my accident prone work colleague injured herself once again, and I had to step in at very late notice and take her place. Suddenly I was required to drive the big work van (which we had packed the day before) to a venue and assist with bump-in. This involved carrying all our heavy road cases full of gear up 3 flights of stairs - but at least we had assistance from venue staff. That emergency put me a bit behind and I spent the following 2 days catching up.

This week began with organising an emergency pick up of some problematic equipment that was in use at a venue, and providing a replacement. That same venue also asked us to take some extra equipment of theirs to deliver for urgent repairs. I had to teach a class on Monday afternoon, so time was tight - I ended up arranging for the repair pick-up delivery stuff to happen on Tuesday, but I didn’t get much of my planned work done on Monday.

Tuesday morning began with a migraine around dawn, but I knew I could not call in sick and spend the day dealing with the fuzzy brain I knew I’d have for the rest of the day. Breakfast was water and paracetamol. Once at work I squeezed in half of my electrical test and tag work before dashing off to drive all over town for the faulty gear pick-up and swap, and drop-off to the repair guy.

Completed my February test and tag gear on Wednesday morning, then prep gear for 2 hires going out on Friday, before the boss asked me to help him finish a speaker repair project (which is still not complete). Then the 2 of us had to prep, deliver and set up gear in a venue that afternoon. The boss had done the site inspection, so I had picked gear according to what he had told me, only to find when we were on site that we needed longer cables! That meant I had to return to the warehouse, pick up extra stuff, then go back to the venue (on my own this time) to complete the set-up. I ended up there way later than expected when the client wanted me to make the cable runs invisible to the audience - which meant spending about 45 minutes wrangling ladder, cables and cable ties (zip ties). The late finish resulted in me having a less than healthy dinner - meat pie from 7-Eleven - because I could not face cooking when I got home.

Thursday was a late start for me because the bump-out for the venue with the stairs was that evening. I got to work around 1pm, assisted the boss with installing some brackets on some new speakers while he fielded phone calls about an emergency with some speakers out on another show. Suddenly I was scrambling to get replacements out to that venue before going to the planned bump-out. That also meant frantic arrangements with the casual staffer who was rostered on to help with the bump-out, arranging to pick him up from his other job so he could help with the emergency delivery before going straight from there to the venue with all the stairs. We had 2 crew on site already who had been working on the gig, who were expected to assist with getting all the gear into the van (and down all the stairs). Once at said stairs venue we discovered that: a) we would have no helpers from the venue to get all the gear down all the stairs, and b) my accident prone co-worker was not going to help at all and instead skipped out early leaving only 3 of us to do all the heavy lifting. Finally finished work at 9:30pm, starving hungry, bathed in sweat (thanks to summer humidity and lack of venue air-con!) and physically exhausted. Dinner was a packet of chips and a cheese sandwich.

Before 8am on Friday my phone alerted me to a text message, but I didn’t hurry to look at it, because I figured it was just a reminder my internet data for the month was running low. When I read it at 8:30 I discovered my boss was down with the flu and suggesting I try and find someone else to help me bump-out the cable tie venue, where he and I were due at 10am. He had evidently forgotten we had a client picking up gear at the warehouse at 10am also. So, suddenly I was ringing the client arranging for him to pick up at 9:30, jumping in the car and hurrying to get there in time to meet him, making calls to whoever I could think of to try and arrange someone to help with the bump-out while driving (bluetooth/handsfree). The equipment pick up was easy. I arrived in time and I was on my way out the door in time for the 10am arrival at the venue which the boss had arranged - but I had to do the bump-out on my own. Luckily that took less time than I anticipated and I was back at the warehouse by 12pm, giving me 2 hours before the next equipment pick up. I used that time to organise paperwork for the gig I have to do on Sunday. I had to buy lunch from the sandwhich shop up the road because I hadn’t had time to make lunch. The second equipment pick up for the day went smoothly and was out the door by 2:30, so I started prepping my gear for Sunday. I had some music tracks for that gig that I needed to organise so I went up to the office to get those done, only to find my computer still trying to “update and restart”. Stupid me had decided at 1pm that since I was going to be down in the warehouse for an hour or so I’d click the button and let the computer do it’s thing, thinking it would be done by the time I needed it. Computer had other plans. It finished doing the stupid update at 4pm. (Yes, I cried. Just a little. I was there on my own and there was no other way for me to get this music done than to wait for my computer to come back online.) I was able to leave the office at 5pm - which left me caught in peak traffic, which I usually avoid because I’m often out the door at 4pm. Got home and forced myself to actually have a balanced dinner.

Having listed all the things I actually dealt with this week I now understand the lack of brain power I’ve had at home this week. Now I just have to deal with trying not to stress about tomorrow’s gig, which is outdoors in a place I’ve never been to (the boss did the site inspection for this one too!), and their is rain in the forecast!

Sorry for the long rant!

#venting #thunderbirds fandom #thunderfam #sorry for long post

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millerflintstone · 5 years ago

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an awful Tuesday

Yesterday I had a pre-op appointment with my gynecologist / surgeon. She’s doing my hysterectomy on 9/16. The short story there is that I feel a lot better about getting it done now. The rest is under a break because it’s long

Unfriendly went with me since he’s taking care of me post-op and because he has better recall of things said than I do in that situation. One of my questions had to do with any bloodwork / tests needed prior to the surgery. She looked through and realized that an endometrial biopsy hadn’t been done. My endometrial thickness was slightly above 5mm at 5.83 during the last ultrasound in June, so we went ahead and got that out of the way.

OH MY BLOB that was beyond painful. More painful than any IUD crap. I have zero kids so I can’t compare childbirth but I was audibly in pain. Unfriendly ended up holding my hand. She did just a basic pelvic afterwards and it was crazy painful. She told me uterus very tender. That fucker needs to vacate the premises ASAP

I ended up taking one of the hydrocodone pills I got for the root canal at around 5pm. I also took some CBD with it because I noticed that helped with the tooth pain. At around the time it started taking effect, I got a call from my sister’s cell phone.

I was excited. I had been thinking about her last week. I was thinking just about sending her flowers since she never replied to my text saying that we had to talk about what was going on with finances on her end because of how my mom was worried about money. I didn’t want that to seem manipulative though. This is the bullshit your brain does when you’re raised by narcissists. People aren’t kind. People have motives to manipulate you.

It wasn’t my sister. It was a cousin’s daughter letting me know that my sister died of heart attack that morning. I’m in shock. I can’t even begin to describe the emotions I’m cycling through.

Death is handled differently in Guatemala. The wake was yesterday. The family stayed up all night with her body at the house. She was transported to the funeral home this morning. The burial was today at 4pm EDT.

The cousin called me this morning wanting to know when I was coming to Guatemala. I had to explain to her about the biopsy and how they’re ruling out cancer and how I’m scheduled for a surgery due to this health crap. I told her I didn’t want to say anything to my mom yesterday because I didn’t think she’d be able to handle that. She didn’t think I should tell her yet since my mom was finally calm this morning.

Outside of this awful stuff is the fact that I’d be scared to travel to Guatemala without Unfriendly because honestly, what if someone with power over me decides that my passport is invalid upon returning to the US and I get detained just because I’m of Hispanic descent? Unfriendly’s passport is expired. There’s also the fact that my sister never renewed her or my mother’s passports even though I asked about it. In her head she never wanted to come back. Any time I brought up either of them dying and needing to travel to me it was like an ostrich sticking their head in the sand.

My family and I are estranged. They decided to return to Guatemala in 1997 after my sister’s suicide attempt in 1996 because she could not work and my mom did not kick herself into any kind of parental gear to work, be independent, and to take care of her suicidal daughter. My father refused to help out, so I cut him out of my life. Before all of this happened, our relationship was not good. At the time they left, I was still in college and could not afford to take care of two grown adults. So they went to family and they eventually pushed family away.

They preferred I send money as opposed to me visiting so that was our relationship after I graduated college until my sister and I got inheritance. They never wanted to visit me. I think my sister was scared I’d force her to live in the States and my mom just went along with my sister.

There’s part of me that feels guilty because my sister had stress and didn’t talk to me about the joint taking care of our mother. I brought it up to both her and my mother separately. Did the stress of being an adult take it’s toll? Could I have prevented this? These are rhetorical and I know that I didn’t kill her but it feels like that.

I feel awful that my mom is alone but I also recognize that it is ultimately her lack of decision making that has caused this state of being alone. She and her sisters don’t get along and I’m not sure how the nieces and nephews feel about her. I’m likely going to either have to guilt or bribe HorribleAunt to help with things. If my mom can get a travel visa here we can work on updating her passport and stuff since she’s a US citizen. My current thought is traveling there with Unfriendly after I’ve healed with the thought of bringing her here to live with us but that’s only if that’s what she wants.

I need sleep.

#and I still have to tell work #I haven't told all the people about needing to be out #I think I'll bring this up to the PM tonight after the last code push #and hahahaha I know the biopsy was routine and I feel fine other than horrible pain #let's hope that's negative #thanks for reading #i don't know if i can reply to things right now #grief blogging #hysterectomy

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starryknightace · 5 years ago

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I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

[[MORE]]

Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

#top surgery #ftm #transition #transgender #mascetomy #surgery #post surgery #gender transformation #gts #gender transformation surgery #tumblr dont shoot me there are no nip nops and no mentions of milk sacts flesh #long post #long read #under the cut #double mascetomy #double incision

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magnolia-penn · 5 years ago

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Aizawa.Exe

Just a drabble that ended up being waaaay too long.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of sex, Shitty writing

Under the cut cuz it’s long af

Life has never quite gone your way. There would be high moments that came with teaching high schoolers that strove to become heroes but the loneliness was unbearable. Living in Japan away from your family and friends left a hole in your heart that only got deeper after every failed date or hookup.

You had often joked about your high standards with your colleagues at UA, even to the point of openly wishing for a Build Your Own Boyfriend website. Everyone had laughed but continued to reprimand you for having your standards too high.

It was on your walk home that the ad had first caught your attention.

“Are your standards too high?” The smooth female advert cut through your epic jam session. “Well, do we have a solution for you.”

The advertisement had listed off a website that would allow you to custom order an intelligent robot that would learn and grow to your needs.

You blew it off as clickbait and skipped the ad as soon as you could. You finished your walk home and promptly took a shower. A certain ash blond in your heroics class had chased another student into the forest and you had to chase the both of them down.

As you settled into your nightly routine, you found it hard to keep your mind from wandering back to the ad, imagining the sort of man you’d order.

‘He’d have to be at least six feet tall and handsome as the devil. Hmm, punctual and unafraid to sleep until noon with a sense of humor.’

You continued to play with that idea through the evening and into your slumber, dreaming of what he might look like and how he would feel.

The next morning, you were awoken by a very flustered and excited Nemuri, who let herself in again.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS!” The R rated hero shoved her phone into your face before you had even opened your eyes to process what was going on.

Her web browser was open to the website you heard about yesterday.

“YOU CAN CUSTOM ORDER A ROBOT BISHIE BOYFRIEND! THEY EVEN HAVE A COLONEL SANDERS!”

“Nem, you’re an absolute horndog and you don’t need a bishie boyfriend Colonel Sanders. What time is it?” You pulled some hair that had stuck you face via drool from your mouth and stretched.

“ITS 5:45 AM!”

“NEMURI WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”

You wrestled her into your guest bedroom and pushed an old wardrobe infront of the door to keep her in while you finished getting your beauty sleep.

When 7:00 rolled around, you released your friend and listened to her rant about the website over breakfast.

“Just look at it, Y/N. Please~” You swiped her phone from her hand and scrolles through the other tabs that held customization screens.

“Oh lord.” They had an entire tab for just his manhood.

“Pretty great, huh?”

The idea of customizing a boyfriend almost seemed taboo to you.

“It sounds like it could be clickbait or a way to steal your credit card information.” You returned her phone and turned to the stove to flip the egg you were cooking.

“Uh huh. And what if I told its not?” Nemuri pushes her chest against your back.

“Get off me, and how?” You gently pushed her away from you.

“I ordered one. He came last week.” The smirk she gave proved she was not kidding. “He’s absolutely perfect. After classes today, you can come and see him.”

She really did it? Strangely enough, you’re not surprised she did that.

“Wait, what about Snipe?” You thought everything was going smooth between them.

“Well, our relationship just was kind of a blur between dating and friends with benefits. Our sex was more chill and relaxed then it ever was actually passionate.” Nemuri reached into a cabinet and grabbed a plate.

You nodded in understanding. The majority of your dates ended up in friendships then actual relationships.

“And when I heard the ad for the boyfriend builder, he told me to get one. He said, and I quote, ‘You should get him. He’d make a better relationship. But if y'all ever need a real fuck, you know where to find me,’. AND I DID!”

Nemuri danced around with her egg on a plate before she sat down.

“Have you done anything with it yet?” You sat across from her and tilted your head in curiosity.

“Oh yes. We’ve been on dates and Hizashi is the absolute sweetest. I can’t wait to ravage him.”

“Hizashi?” It had a name?

She nodded. “The website has a name generator that you can use. They base their names off of the set personality. It chose Hizashi Yamada.”

“He sounds sweet.”

“Yep! He’s really loud though. They grow with you, so it’s understandable.”

You almost choked on your egg hearing that. “They’re practically sentient?!”

Nemuri nodded and quickly finished her egg. She washed her plate and announced that she had to go get ready for school. You followed her words and proceeded to get dressed. You lay everything out in the evening, so it didn’t take long to get ready.

As you ran a comb through your hair, you opened the website on your phone. Deciding that there isn’t much to lose, you began to fill the order form out.

Six feet tall, Long Dark Hair, Just Enough Stubble To Be Sexy. The list went on. You managed to fill it out just in time to leave.

The daily trek to UA was as boring as ever, until you heard an strange noise. An animal in distress. Choosing that you’d rather be late to work then leave an animal hurt in the streets, you followed the noise. It lead to deep in an alley not far off your route.

You sifted through some garbage bags until you found the source of the noise. It was a mother cat with two little kittens. They were sickly thin and clearly struggling to survive.

Evaluating your options, you came to the conclusion that instead of wasting more time to bring them to the vet all the way across town, you used your quirk to convince the mama cat to let you pick her and her babies up and quickly called up Recovery Girl to cash in a favor she owed you.

She agreed to help the cats and keep them in her office until the end of the day so you could take them home. Rushing to her office and then to your class left you breathless and dead on the floor in front of your students.

“Um, Miss. L/n? Are you alright?” Your problem student, Izuku Midoriya, asked.

“DANDY! JUST DANDY!” You yelled through the muffle of your hair and the floor. “I saved three cats from right outside my house, which is a half an hour walk from here, ran here, ran to Recovery Girl’s office, then up two flights of stairs to get here. I’m pooped.”

You got up and brushed yourself off. After apologizing to your class, you read off the daily announcements. You handed out graded papers and assisted students where they needed it until it was time for their first class of the day.

Using your free time, you stopped in to actually chat with Recovery Girl and check on the cats.

“They were malnourished and most likely wouldn’t of survived another day out there. Both kittens are sick but should recover swiftly, and the mom is already up and walking.” She explained.

“Have you figured out their genders?” You planned on keeping them and wished to find names for them as soon as possible.

“Ones a girl and the other is a boy. Are you going to keep them?”

You shook your head yes and squatted down to pet the mama who came up for some love. “I like the name Kayuma for the mother, but I still need some time for the babies. Maybe I’ll ask my class.”

Recovery Girl agreed and wrote some notes on the cats. You picked Kayuma up and pulled your phone from your pocket. You wanted to get a picture with your new cat, but your attention was pulled to a notification that went unnoticed.

Your order has been shipped! The package should arrive by 4pm!

“It’s already been shipped?” You wondered out loud.

“What’s been shipped?” You jumped at the new voice. Toshinori Yagi.

“Ah, some pet supplies for the cats. I ordered some after reading the announcements.” Technically not a lie because you really did.

“Oh! Already thinking about the newest additions to your family, how lovely.” Toshinori put a hand on your shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. “If you ever need any help or a cat-sitter, you can always ask me. My master loved cats so I know a thing or two.”

“Thanks for the offer, Tosh. You’ll be the first I call.”

The bell rung signaling the start of lunch and had the three of you scrambling to prepare for the second half of the day.

A few brief meetings and some class prep later, the day had finally ended. You sent out a quick email to your students asking about names for the cats and packed up your stuff, ready to go home and meet your new boyfriend.

“Hey! Y/n! Wait up!” Nemuri bounced up to you and clung to your arm. “Are you going to come over tonight?”

“Um…. No. I have the cats and I have to get everything ready for them.” You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly, hoping she wouldn’t catch on.

“Uh huh. How about Hizashi and I come by to meet your new boy?” Nemuri placed her hand on her hip knowing full well that you weren’t paying attention to what she said.

“Oh yes, that would be lovely.” It took a bit before you processed what she said. “NEMURI, WAIT! THE CATS! I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THE CATS!”

“NOPE! WE’RE COMING OVER!” Nemuri skipped away before you could get a word in otherwise, leaving you alone and quite exasperated.

You picked up the cats and trekked home, a feat easier said than done with three now energetic cats in your arms. You pushed the door of your house open with your foot.

Sighing, you let the cats roam for a bit as you set up the litter box and feeders from previous pets. It was almost four and the nerves were getting to you. Watching the new kittens romp around the living room while Kayuma lied on a pillow by the heating vent.

‘I hope my bot likes cats. I want so many.’ You didn’t get much time to think about your new boyfriend due to Nemuri and Hizashi bursting in at exactly four.

“WHERE IS HEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!” Nemuri squealed as soon as she entered the living room.

“Hey! He hasn’t arrived yet. Do you see a large crate?” Hizashi placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from pouncing on you. “I apologize for her, she’s terribly excited.”

“Oh yeah, I know. She’s literally vibrating with excitement. I don’t think she’s calmed down since high school.” You stood from the couch where you had placed yourself in preparation for her outburst. “My name is Y/n Y/L. Nem sings praises of your name.”

“I’m Hizashi Yamada. She speaks about you quite often.” He extended his hand and you took it.

Your eyes widened at the warmth of his hand. You weren’t expecting him to feel so…

“Real? Is that what you were thinking?” Hizashi’s words startled you from your thoughts. “It’s always that look when people know I’m a robot.”

“I hope I didn’t offend you! I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Better to get the shock over with me then with him.” Hizashi pointed to the door a second before a knock resonated through off of the front door.

You walked to the door and opened it up. A beautiful woman was standing next to a six-foot large wooden crate. She resembled Nemuri.

“Hello! My name is Kiara! Thank you for ordering a Boyfriend! May we come in?” You nodded and open the door wider.

She picked up the crate with a trolley and rolled it into the house. She wheeled it into the living room and stopped in surprise when she saw Nemuri and Hizashi.

“Well, hello! How have you two been faring?” She set the crate down and stepped up to Hizashi. “You’re looking good.”

“We’ve been fine. How about you?” Hizashi responded.

“Oh, you know, delivering joy and boyfriends. My life and passion.” Kiara patted his shoulder and turned back to you. “Hizashi is probably one of my best. I’m so proud he got placed with my amazing cousin.”

Nemuri blushed and buried her face in Hizashi’s neck.

“Do you… Do you make them all?” You looked to the crate and to Hizashi.

“Yep! I hand make all of them! My quirk makes it super easy to finish quickly!” She clapped her hands together and her expression turned serious. “But enough about me. It’s now about you and your future!”

She quickly walked over to the crate and pulled the front off, revealing your new bot.

No, Boyfriend.

He was everything you imagined him to be. He was just right. He was perfect. He was…

NAKED

You quickly moved to throw a blanket over him while Nemuri cackled like a witch.

“Hah! You should’ve seen the look on your face! Oh, I should’ve gotten a picture!”

“YOU NEVER METIONED THAT THEY COME NAKED!”

“i DIDN’T FEEL THE NEED TOO!”

With that exchange, the two pro heroes pounced on each other in fight of friendly anger. With the attention on them, no one noticed the man in the crate open his eyes to the harsh light of the world.

He looked down and noticed the blanket draped haphazardly across his body before readjusting it around his waist and stepping out of his container.

A brief glance around with apathetic eyes shown that the room he was in was loud and obnoxious. Two people stood idly by as another two women fought on the floor. He padded up to the group undetected and observed the others in the room. With every attempt to tear his attention away from your form, the pull to you was overpowering.

Everything about you was mesmerizing. From your H/c hair to the gentle pull of your clothing around your curves. He was enthralled, absolutely enchanted.

“What the fuck is going on here. You two are squealing like pigs in the slaughter.” His mouth moved on its own, bringing the attention to him.

The look in our eyes is something that he’ll treasure forever. It was sweet and full of excitement and love. How he knew this, the answer never came to him, but he knew it was love and all he wanted was to see that look on your face forever.

“Oh! He’s awake! How are you feeling?” The woman in the business suit asked.

“Tired.” As much as he tried, he could not pry his eyes away from you. “Yet, I feel so full of energy.”

The only other male nodded. “Yep. When I first woke up, I felt like that.”

He cast his gaze to the male for as long as he could before his eyes trailed back to you. He smirked and took a step closer to you.

“Are you like us?”

You shook your head ‘no’, “Sadly, I am not. But I promise to love you like we are the same.”

“What’s his name?” The bluette asked suddenly. “Didja get one picked out from the site or did you have one in mind?”

With their eyes on you, it hit you like a truck when you realized that not only did you not have a name picked out for him, you forgot to click the enabler for the name generator.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit,” you dragged out. “I was so busy with classes and the cats that I forgot. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m a shitty girlfriend.”

“Cats?” He asked.

“Yeah. Three cats. They’re around here somewhere.” You flopped dramatically onto your couch and buried your face in your arms.

“Well, we could help. I made him and I know Hizashi’s creative. Not too sure about Midnight though.” Kiara suggested.

“Thanks Kiara. Nem, don’t take any offense to that. She doesn’t know you the way I do.” You peeked at your friends through your hair and noticed that your boyfriend has disappeared. Probably to find the cats.

“She’s right though.” Hizashi snickered.

Nemuri tackled him to the ground and all you could do was watch while they wrestled on the ground.

Suddenly, a knock at the door made you all jump.

“Shit, who is that?” You cursed before standing to get to the door when you heard it open.

A faint, “Um, hello sir. Is Y/n home?” was heard and then some shuffling. Toshinori.

“You’re fucked.” Nemuri said from the floor.

“Yeah, no shit.”

Not a second later, Toshinori followed him into the room where you all were. Thankfully he had found some clothes.

“Hey, Tosh~” You tried to say as casual as you could. “What brings you to this part of town?”

“Y/n, I live down the street from you and you left your papers back at U.A.” Toshinori held up the stack of paper you were certain you grabbed. “And I think you might have mine.”

“Oh yep! Probably. I was so frazzled and excited about the cats I must’ve grabbed the wrong stack. Here, come with me. They’re still in my bag.” You lead Toshinori into the hall where your bag was.

“The cats or him?” He asked and you choked on air.

“W-wait. You’ve got the wrong idea.”

“Uh huh. And what of that giant crate in your living room? It looks suspiciously like the one Nemuri threw out when she met her boyfriend.” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

“Ugh. You’re a dumbass but you’re too smart.” You looked around despite the fact everyone in the house already knew. “He’s a bot I ordered.”

“Do you like him?” He asked.

“Huh? I’m not sure.” You pulled your bag off of the hook and started rifling through it. “I’m definitely attracted to him, but feelings will take time.”

“Yet I can see the empathy in your eyes. There is some infatuation there.”

“LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP BEING SMART!” You found the papers and checked to see if they were his. “Here. Do you want to meet him? I was going to have everyone stay for dinner to get to know each other.”

Toshinori nodded and quickly tucked his papers in his bag.

You walked back into the living room and the sight made your heart swell. All three of the cats had curled up on his lap while he sat on the couch between Kiara and Hizashi as Nemuri brushed his hair. They were quietly chatting about the cats that paused when we came in.

“Didja get it all figured out?” Nemuri asked.

“Yep. And you’re all staying for dinner. No questions.” You crossed your arms. “And we have a big problem. His name.”

“Oh. We handled that already.” Hizashi said. “Nem emailed your class asking about real names for the cats and then we gathered the responses and let him choose.”

“And?”

“Shota Aizawa.”

That name sent fuzzy feelings through you. It sounded perfect to you.

“Shota Aizawa.” You repeated. It rolled off the tongue beautifully.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. I just got it.” Shota quipped.

Nemuri coughed to hide a laugh and spit out her two-cents, “She’ll definitely be wearing it out tonight.”

You chucked a decorative pillow at her and went for the tackle.

As the two of you wrestled on the floor and the other three attempted to pry you two apart, Shota couldn’t help but to smile at the new family he was gifted.

#bnha #bnha aizawa #bnha midnight #bnha present mic #mha #mha aizawa #mha present mic #mha midnight #robot boyfriend #x reader #fanfic #fluffy

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theworldoffostering · 6 years ago

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Home

The drive back was significantly faster than our drive down. We left at 4pm when we went down and arrived Orlando around 5pm. On the return, we left Orlando at 7pm, and arrived home around 2:30pm. We are all still tired, but hopefully another good night of sleep will help with that.

When we got home, we unloaded the car, and Ms. 6 and DH vacuumed it out. It was a mess despite it being cleaned before we left. I did 3-4 loads of laundry and unpacked the three younger kids. The lawn was super long, so I mowed the back. I also unpacked myself and all of the food stuff. DH picked our tomatoes that were ripe, and ran out to pick up pizzas. Four kids got showered and I went through all of the mail. I paid most of the bills that arrive while we were gone, but I think there’s one left I need to call on, and a medical bill that I have to pay with my flex spend account.

What are y’all paying for internet? We are using AT&T, and it’s over $70/month for just internet. That seems high to me, but I don’t know anyone who likes their internet company, so it seems like maybe poor customer service and high rates it just par for the course in this industry. We don’t have cable or a landline, so there’s nothing to bundle.

Last night after the kids went to bed, I got a quick shower and tried to sort out some of my work stuff. Tomorrow is going to be a tough reentry. We don’t have childcare, so I think DH is going to take Ms. 6 with him to his sub in-service, and I’m going to take DS with me to watch a speech at the university and then attend a lunch event. DD is going to manage the three youngest which are a handful because of Baby. However, our schedules are different, so I think she will only have to fly solo with them for 2.5 hours.

All of the back to school nights are this week, so I need to get that on my schedule ASAP. I think I have a few additional school supplies to collect for various kids as well. In addition, our local fair is this week and I entered two items that I have to make and get over there on Wednesday morning. Good thing I made another three liter batch of cold brew today, right?

#back to school #vacation recovery

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ardentmuse · 7 years ago

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Why You Fight - Kingsman

Primary reasons I imagine you’d fight in your relationships with the Kingsman. Sorry for the double-whammy of sad stuff today. gifs via google, credit to creators.

Warning: General angst all around (especially in Harry’s), talk of sex in Tequila’s

Masterlist

Merlin - Jealousy

To be fair, Merlin and you rarely “fight.” Instead, Hamish just declares that he “doesn’t want to talk about it” and broods. Hard. He broods for hours in his office tinkering, usually with no real goal in mind other than to give him an excuse to create space from you and calm down.

He knows it is stupid. He knows you love him. But he also knows how smitten he was with you almost instantly, how beautiful and intelligent you are, but most importantly how much younger than him you are, able to catch the attention of any more suitable partner who might come along.

You’ve never given him reason to doubt. Every time someone obviously flirts with you, you simply say you are not interested and come find him wherever he is. But men can be persistent, scummy little things, he knows. Sometimes they do not respect you enough to take your ‘no’ seriously, forcing Merlin to step in, much to your dismay. But more often than not the issues arise when you don’t even realize that someone has their sights on you. When Merlin points it out, you brush it off as them “just being nice,” and that is when Merlin loses it. He’ll raise his voice, telling you that you need to stick up for yourself better and stop being so doe-eyed about the world. You don’t see what he sees and sometimes he feels like you don’t even care, though he knows he is just insecure about not being everything you deserve. When you’d try to get him to explain his feelings more, he’d ask you for space to think and make for his office.

After several hours alone, he’d emerge and apologize for his outburst by helping you. You’d know he was ready to talk when you’d receive a text a few hours later saying, “I’m making dinner. What would you like, love?” or “I scheduled the hair appointment you’ve been talking about for Tuesday at 4pm.” Then, late in bed that night, you talk for real, make up, and make love, reassuring Hamish that you aren’t going anywhere.

Harry - Work

Harry wasn’t used to having to consider someone else’s needs. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. It was just still a foreign idea to him and it took mental work to remember that he couldn’t just go whenever work called without informing you.

A few times early on in your relationship, you would find yourself alone for an event he promised to take you to or for your weekly nights in with a classic movie and take out. You’d call him to get his ETA, only to discover he was on a boat in Yokohama or in the mountains outside Davos or on an airplane heading to the States. But after every time, he’d come to your home, place flowers on your nightstand, and crawl into bed with you. He’d spoon you, begging your forgiveness between soft kisses of your neck and shoulders until you’d turn to him and kiss him in earnest.

It all came to a head when you discovered Harry downstairs in the wee hours of the morning walking out the door, right before your parents were supposed to arrive to meet him. You lost it, told him that if his work was more important than you then he might as well not return. He tried to reason with you and explain how important this mission was, how’d he be back before dinner, but you wouldn’t hear it. If he thought leaving without a word of warning was acceptable, he clearly didn’t see you as a priority. You kicked him out into the night.

You were making dinner, trying to figure out what to tell your parents, when the doorbell rang. Harry stood outside, dressed for dinner, a bottle of wine and flowers in hand. You went to shut the door in his face when he reached out to you. “I didn’t go” he said, “I thought about it. I made it all the way to the tailor shop before I realized I had just lost the best thing in my life because I was too scared to let loving you change me. But I want to change. I need to change. There is too much good here to throw it away because I’m stubborn. Please? Just one more chance and if I screw this up, you’ll never hear from me again.”

You let him back into your house and into your heart, where he has been ever since.

Eggsy - Family

Dean. God, Dean. He was literally the worst man either you or Eggsy could imagine. On that, you agreed. What you didn’t agree with was Eggsy brawling a grown man in the middle of a crowded pub. Eggsy was a Kingsman now. He had resources at his disposal to protect his mother and sister other than his fists. But this was personal for Eggsy, you knew, and so while you fought about it initially, you quickly moved on to help Eggsy heal and to take care of Daisy, whom you loved endlessly.

But then there is your family. Eggsy is so afraid of them, even though you’d done nothing to give him reason to think they might not like him. His family has been so dysfunctional since Dean came into the picture, that he has a hard time remembering what a reasonable family looked like. So he is constantly going overboard trying to impress your relatives: hostess gifts every visit, intense research on everyone’s careers and interests, telling lies about himself to fit in better. That last one is the one that really makes you mad. Why can’t he just accept that your family just wants you to be happy and that he’s already won them over by being your source of joy? All his strategies only make it worse.

You get particularly angry when you learn that Eggsy has been spending time with your parents without you. Having you there giving him side-eye usually helps to reign in his antics, so the idea of him alone with them scares you. But all that is put aside when he asks you to marry him, your parents having helped to coordinate the whole thing.

Tequila - Sex

Your relationship with Tequila has always been quite physical. He’s an affectionate man, and was so even before you became exclusive. But having a sexual relationship with him is an entirely different thing.

At first, the constant need for each other was exciting. You loved feeling so wanted and he loved how much you wanted him in return. And don’t get me wrong, the sex is still mind-blowing. But it is just ALL THE TIME. It feels like you are constantly in the middle of a single years-long sexual encounter. You’d wake up to light caresses that turned into something heated. He’d take care of you, pop up from between your legs, ask what you wanted for breakfast, and leave the room like nothing happened. Then, at the breakfast table, he’d want to finish what was started in the bedroom. It was exhausting.

You weren’t an on-off switch. You needed some time and dedication. Thankfully, when you communicate this, Tequila is more than willing to set aside the time you need to fully enjoy yourself, to build up and come down from your high in an enjoyable way. It just takes more reminders than you would like.

Thank goodness you both like cuddling so much because if Tequila gets too handsy and you aren’t into it, he’s always okay with just holding you while you watch a movie or falling asleep wrapped in each other. He just wants to be close to you, whatever form that may take. And you can’t really fault him for that.

Whiskey - The Past

You will never be able to replace his lost love. You know that. And you’d never want to. Everything Whiskey went through in his life brought him to you.

But sometimes he’ll say things, just little things offhandedly, that make you realize there is a subtle comparison going on in his brain. Even if he isn’t aware of it, he is imagining how his life might be different if you were a woman with a different face holding a child instead of a pistol.

And that hurts endlessly. It makes you feel like you are still second-best, still just a consolation prize since he isn’t able to have what he actually wants. When he says something that brings you down, like how she used to make the best pies or how her baby bump was much rounder than yours, you go off by yourself to some corner of the house to cry.

Whiskey would realize what he did the moment he did it. He was very conscious of how his past impacted his relationship with you. He couldn’t stop his brain from wondering how his life might have been different, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love the way his life is now. He will shower you with love and gifts as a means of seeking your forgiveness, to prove how intimately he knew you, how much he needed you. And he does need you, desperately. And he holds you through the night to remind himself that anything keeping him from loving you fully is not worth his mental energy.

All tags: @fangirlandnerd, @aerdnandreaa, @thisisbullshytt

#kingsman #kingsman imagine #kingsman headcanon #eggsy #eggsy unwin #harry hart #merlin #merlin kingsman #tequila #tequila kingsman #eggsy x reader #harry hart x reader #merlin x reader #tequila x reader #whiskey #whiskey kingsman #agent whiskey #whiskey x reader

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clubdolan · 7 years ago

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awe hiding-your-face hug with gray

I got VERY carried away with this but it’s cute and fluffy AF.

Grayson and Ethan had been in Australia for a month on tour, vacationing, doing interviews, photo shoots, you name it. Haiden had been in LA, going to class, working her internship, and finding random nannying jobs to make money.

She missed Grayson. She missed staying at his house instead of her school apartment. She missed late night ice cream runs to the one 24 hour dessert place down the road. She missed going to the warehouse to workout… well she missed Grayson making her come to the warehouse while he worked out. She missed meeting him for lunch between her classes and his filming. She missed his hugs, his hands, stealing his clothes; she missed HIM.

Her small desk calendar with hand written numbers, counted down the days till his return. He had sent her pictures of the water fall they were at and the beach and the skate park and his view from his hotel room. He facetimed her and let her complain about her internship and brag about the homemade donuts she had made the day before.

Haiden tapped her pencil on her notes from class, looking at the number three on her calendar as if she stared at it long enough it would change. The first two weeks she had kept her self busy so she didn’t recognize he was really gone. The third week it was hitting her, she texted him more, called him more, facetimed him more, and definitely thought she couldn’t make it another week.

It was the fourth week now. She gave up on her homework and went to her kitchen to grab her secret stash of chocolate chip cookies and wine. She sat in her bed in one of Grayson’s hoodies and ate a cookie and sipped on wine while looking at her album of pictures of them together. She had reached an all time low.

While she scrolled her phone rang, slightly scaring her.

GRAY💕 would like to FaceTime

“No, no, no, no…�� She mumbled to herself, pulling up the hood over her messy hair and using the sleeves to wipe of her cheeks from where she might have been crying.

She swiped to answer it, aiming it at the ceiling as she wiped her cheeks off more. “Hold on…”

“I just wanted to call and tell you goodnight.” Grayson said, trying to figure out the blurry images of her blanket and the wall next to her as she moved around. “Where are you? I wanna see your face.”

“I’m here, eating cookies.” Haiden pulled the camera up, her side table lamp barely lit up her room and her on the screen. She fake smiled and help up the bag of cookies. “I gave up on homework.”

“Have you been crying?”

“No.” She gave him a weird look, as if it were crazy of him to assume she had been. Red, puffy eyes and all.

“Put me closer to your face.”

“Gray, seri–

“Haiden, do it.” He demanded and she slowly pulled her phone closer. “Your eyes are red, you–”

“So I’ve been crying, homework is hard and my internship is frustrating.”

“If it was your homework you’d still be working on it no matter how hard it was.” He proved a point, knowing her for too long. “What else is bothering you? Is it your dad again? Did he call–”

“You.” She mumbled, holding back tears. Her eyes stung and her chest felt crushed. “I miss you.”

“Oh god, babe. Don’t cry, please? I hate seeing you cry. I’ll be back in three days and I’ll come straight to you, no matter where you are.”

“The next two days I just have class from eight to noon. The day you get back I have my internship till four.” She mumbled.

“So I’ll meet you at four, right at the door of the office. I’m taking you to dinner and dessert and you can come back with me to our house and we can do whatever, I promise.”

She couldn’t talk, if she did she would break.

“Hai, I promise, you can even meet me at the airport if you want to leave your internship. You’ve made it this long–

“It’s been too long. You’re my best friend, I miss just being around you or knowing you’re near.” She mumbled into her sleeve before wiping off her cheeks. “I’m pathetic, I know.” She laughed to herself a little bit, “That’s why I was crying and eating cookies and drinking wine alone in the dark.”

“In my sweatshirt I’ve been looking for.” He smirked, watching her pull the strings tighter around her head.

“I just want a hug and then you can go back to Australia, okay? There’s a new rule where I can’t go more than ten days without hugging you.”

“I’m fine with that rule– hold on, E.” He sighed as someone knocked on his door. Haiden began crying again, knowing he had to hang up soon. “Babe, come on, don’t cry. I can’t hang up on you when you’re crying.” He unlocked the door, “Unlimited hang out time when I get back, promise.”

“Hi Haiden!” Ethan yelled, diving his face in front of the camera.

“Hai, please answer me.” Grayson begged, watching her sit still on screen. “We’re meeting some people for lunch or I’d keep talking to you, text me, okay.”

“Ubers here.” Ethan whispered.

Haiden nodded, “Bye.”

“I miss you so much, Hai. I love you, okay? You know I do. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone so long.” Haiden kept nodding, “I’ll call you when it’s morning for you, okay? Haiden please answer me, stop nodding.”

“That’s fine, bye.” She hung up the phone, tossing it on her bed before crying herself to sleep. She was already sad that he was gone and now she was mad at herself for making him feel bad.

Half way across the world Grayson shoved his phone in his pocket and followed Ethan downstairs.

“Bro, what’s up? What’s going on with Haiden?”

“She’s just, she misses me, it’s been so long. I forget that we’re distracted doing stuff and keeping busy but she’s working her ass off at school and interning and little jobs and doesn’t give herself a break until I usually make her.”

“I’m glad Kaya has a job like us so she was able to visit. I don’t know how you two do it, four weeks is way too long.” Ethan led him to the Uber.

“I told her I would fly her out here for a few days and she couldn’t. If she doesn’t have internship she’s at class in the morning. She has no days off. This is her last semester though so hopefully we can find some type of normal after she graduates.” He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, “I feel so bad, I just want to go there now. Why did we add an extra week? Why were we worried about saving money and flying out when it was cheaper? Why didn’t I think of her?”

“Dude, you’re another zone, I’ve never seen you like this.”

“E, I love her. I really love her.”

“I know you do. I know she’s different.” He said, hating to sound cliche, “I know you’ve been missing her, you’ve alternated your background to different pictures of her all week, you both are always facetiming, you know her schedule better than ours, and you keep buying her stuff because it ‘reminds you of her’ which I have never heard you say.”

“I’m gunna marry her.” Grayson sat up quick, “I’m going to marry, Haiden. Haiden Dolan. My wife, Haiden. Haiden Gianna Dolan.”

“My sister-in-law, Haiden.” Ethan said, nodding his head. “Sounds fine to me. She’s cool.”

“Hey, driver.” Grayson leaned up between the seats, “Can you take me back to the hotel?”

“We’re at the restaurant.” Ethan pointed out the window.

“I’m going back to the hotel, packing, and getting back to LA.” He said, starting to look up flights on his phone.

Ethan stayed with their friends in Australia.

Grayson spent $1,500 on a flight back to LA.

He left at 2pm on a Monday in Australia and arrived in LA at 4pm on Monday. (I did quick math and looking it up so just deal with the times okay! lololol)

He had texted Haiden a few times, asking about her class for the day and she had said she was spending time in the library or the cafe before going home. Haiden’s plans were to postmates Chipotle and watch The Bachelorette and The Bachelorette After Show.

His suitcase sat next to him in the uber and watching the ‘time to destination’ was the only thing distracting him as they drove through downtown LA.

He must have zoned out because the driver made him jump when he said they had arrived. Grayson was so tired that just getting to her building made him happy knowing he was close to a bed, or even a couch; even happier he was closer to Haiden.

He gave her a quick text, asking what she was up to. Nothing out of the normal so she quickly responded.

Haiden: I think my eyes are bleeding from reading so much and my left foot is numb from sitting on it too long and I have purple pen marks smudged on my hand from taking so many notes.

Grayson: Then stop! haha You deserve a break. It’s your day off.

Haiden: I’ll stop soon. I have two pages left to take notes on. Stop texting me, go hang with your friends. :)

So he stopped.

He put his phone in his pocket, entered the door code for her apartment, and patiently waited on an elevator to go to the 4th floor. Her apartment was down a hall at the end, perfect view over LA, perks of knowing the owner of the complex.

Grayson knocked on her door a few times, standing to the side of the peep hole so she couldn’t see him. He heard foot steps go down her loft stairs before getting louder as they made their way towards the door.

One lock clicked.

The second lock clicked.

The knob slowly turned.

“Nooooooooooooooooo.” She spit out, covering her face and backing up, “No you didn’t. No. Nooo.”

He pushed his luggage in the door, letting it roll until it stopped. “But I did.”

“Grayson.” She sounded mad, “You’re supposed to be in Australia.”

“But I wanted to be here with you.” He grinned, finally getting a hold of her. His arms wrapped around her tiny frame, she hid her head in his t-shirt and he felt her little hands grip onto his waist.

He felt her catch her breath and pushed her back, “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He slightly laughed, wiping off her cheek with his thumb. He finally got a good look at her.

Her blonde hair was tied up somehow, sitting messy on top of her head. Her legs stuck out from a small pair of red work out shorts and she had on a faded t shirt she had cut into a crop top. Even her reading glasses were sitting on top of her head and he noticed the purple pen smudges on her hand.

“You’re here.” She grabbed his waist and pulled herself into him again, wiggling her body around in excitement, continuing to cry. “You smell like you.”

“Thank you?” He laughed, squeezing his arms around her before picking her up. He held her up like it was nothing, she wrapped her legs around his waist and continued squeezing herself as close as she could to him.

Haiden’s tears fell on his neck, he heard her breathing in his ear, her hair tickled the side of his face and all he could do was smile. “I love you, so much.” He mumbled into her neck, swaying slightly back and forth.

She sat back, he caught her by her bottom and she continued to hold around his neck. “What?” He questioned, watching her look at him.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” She whispered, leaning her head towards his, touching their noses together. “But you’re here.”

“I wanted to come home.”

“But you’re at my apartment.” She pointed out.

“You’re my home, Haiden.” He whispered, “I hated being gone. I hated not being with you. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted you to be there. I wanted to be here.“ He explained, looking up to see her eyes closed and a tear falling from one. “Since the day I met you, you’ve made me smile. You make me a better person. You are the first person to… give me butterflies when I look at you.” He nervously laughed, “You continue to give me butterflies and make me happy and make me excited and I think, I think that’s what home is.”

She leaned back and opened her mouth to talk but stopped because she was holding back tears. He felt her take a deep breath, “You’re my home too.” She choked out, “Never leave me that long again, okay?”

“I promise.” He smiled, leaning into kiss her.

#me #mine #grayson #g #grayson dolan #fluffy #dolan twins #cute #fanfic #imagine #dolan #answer #hug #LOVELY

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lovely-stalker · 4 years ago

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The last night of my holidays

5 awesome rest days. Finally, I got to rest for almost a whole week. I've been waiting for this to have a long vacation for the past 3 months. To have fun and have time for myself to rest.

On the night of 10th, I went out with my sister to have shisha just near home. We stayed until 12mn just talking, drinking coffee and having shisha. Actually, It became our thing if we want to chill outside. Then we asked for bill, I gave cash as payment and wait for change. After the waiter return the change, I noticed that my payment is still there inside plus the change. I totally forgot the waiter's face but I asked someone from them and tell them about the issue. The waiter keep on saying thank you to us for being honest.

On 11th, I woke up late since the check in was 3pm. However, I decided to went out by 4pm. We are 7 total and we booked for 4 rooms which is 2 of each rooms are connected. Surprisingly, the booking should only for overnight but my co-workers decided to push 1 more day and it's her treat. So for the first night, we got drunk, I mean I got drunk. It's been a long time since I got drunk coz I haven't been drinking so much for the past few months. I woke up around 4am on bed which I don't know how did I ended up there. I got up and change room, walking in the lobby of the hotel barefoot and going to the other room to sleep. I tried to sleep but my sleep was very shallow. And then we all woke up around 8am to have the free breakfast on GF. I noticed that my legs are hurting and only to found out that I have alot of bruises which I don't know how I got it all. I think, it's because of the beds frames on that room. Anyway, for the whole day, we just sleep and got up around 7pm. We thought we can swim but the pool timing is 7am to 7pm only, so we decided to walk outside and find CHAI TEA and bought cup noodles. After we reached our rooms, we decided to play card game (1, 2, 3 PASS), whoever is the loser, we need to choose from truth or dare but later on became TRUTH only. all the questions are SPG. I can't believe that I'm the youngest but I'm the most experience of them all. Napatanong tuloy ako sa sarili ko, sobrang wild ko ba before? ganun ba ko ka-curious sa lahat? I'm kinda feel disgusting to myself and disappointed. But then, I became their teacher that night. Telling some stuffs that they don't know that they can help them. After the game, we watched 2 consecutive horror movies. It's been a while since I watched horror movies ( Grave encounter & Same above as below). I stopped watching horror movies like paranormal activity type of horror move since I live by myself in an isolated house in ILOILO for work. I think I was 23yrs old that time. Funny part, we booked for 2 rooms, but that night, everyone fit in 1 king size bed and 1 queen bed. No one had the courage to go to the other room. HAHAHA. On 13th morning, we woke up around 9am and took our breakfast then after that we decided to swim. It's been awhile I swim to the pool since the pandemic started. Then we checked out by 1pm and reached home by around past 2pm.

From 13th afternoon til today, 15th, I just rest and watch movies and of course, browsing my tumblr and writing blogs.

Unexpected things happened, She finally found my blog. I know to myself that she will find it soon but I didn't know that she will find it this early. Maybe, I just know her too well that she will stalk me very well and find me here.

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. I'm feeling happy like there are butterflies in my stomach. We have this place again, our place, our own place. I'm happy kasi kahit papano I can reach her, not just her but her mind, her heart and her soul. Actually, It's a very overwhelming feeling.

However, I'm really worried. I don't know if this is right. I worried about her, ayoko na siyang mahirapan pa. If only I can save her from all of these, I will do it. I'm literally crying right now while typing this part. It's been a while since I cried again. Even myself, di ko na din alam yung sagot kung.. away from her or being with her.

We already away from each other kasi nga LDR naman na, pero we already did na wag mag usap but still bakit hindi nagbabago ung pain. Bakit parang mas sumasakit? mas tumutusok sa kaloob looban. minsan may time pa na unbearable ung sakit.

But. If we are together, I don't know if I can be that person na maging reason ng bad relationship sa family niya. Lalo na, I cannot bear to see her hurting because of that.

Hindi ko na alam kung alin ba dyang pain ung worth it maramdaman.

I've been asking these questions to God:

Mali ba mahalin siya?

Kailan pa naging mali ang magmahal?

Bakit kahit ano ung piliin, may kailangan may masaktan?

Bakit kailangan may i-sacrifice at i-give up?

Gusto lang naman namin mahalin ung isa't isa palagi.

Gusto lang naman namin na magkasama ang isa't isa forever.

Gusto lang naman namin alagaan ung isa't isa araw araw.

We know that this will be hard, but bakit naman sobrang hirap. fucking hard.

Welcome to my late night thoughts. Thanks tumblr. I owe you bigtime.

#lovely-stalker #broken hearted #hurting #heartbreak #thoughts #feelings #myself #late night thoughts

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ilvsyzj · 4 years ago

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Chapter Ten: Settling In and First Day of Class.

12/1/2020, Tuesday, Week 1, Day 0- Continue:

After Sebastian left. We went to our respected floors and rooms. Sky and my room was the largest one in the house. Because our room look over the lake in the forest. Sky and I put away our belongings. I noticed there was a little black board hanging above our desks. I took it down and wrote some rules for the both of us. Just 5 simple rules. Captain and Co-Captain Rules: 1) No PDA during the day, 2) No eating in the room, 3) Exercise 3 times a week, 4) Keep the room clean, and 5) Work hard. When Sky saw the rules he didn’t say anything but smile. Then I heard a small meow.

Jazzy: You brought your cat? -surprise-

Sky: Mhm. I brought Toothless with me. Because I can’t leave the little guy at home alone. My family won’t take care of it while I’m here. -taking Toothless out of his cage-

Jazzy: -excited scream- How cute! :)

Sky: -smiling-

Jazzy: How old is he? -excited-

Sky: 8 weeks. :)

Jazzy: Hi little one. :) What its name?

Sky: His name is Toothless. :)

Jazzy: Hi Toothless. :)

Toothless: -soft meow-

Sky: -smiling-

Jazzy: Can I hold him?

Sky: Mhm. -handing Toothless to Jazzy-

When I hold Toothless in my arms. Toothless start purring loudly. A few minutes later Toothless fell asleep in my arms. That’s when Sky told me the truth.

Sky: I actually read your blog and saw that you always want a black cat named Toothless. So, I decided to go to the Puppy and Kitten Adoption Center, and I adopted the little guy. Toothless is my gift to you. It’s an early birthday gift. -blushing-

Jazzy: Thank you. I love it. :) Now, I’m going to have a hard time getting you a birthday gift. Let alone a Christmas gift.

Sky: You’re my Christmas gift. -blushing-

Jazzy: -blushing- Are we allow to have pets in here?

Sky: Uh...I haven’t thought about that. Let me look in the handbook.

A few minutes later Sky found the answer. It turns out we are allow to have pets at HQ. Just as long as we keep our pets inside the house, and not let our pets roam around the grounds. Because there are dangerous wild animals running around grounds, that can attack, kill, and eat our pets. So Sky and I decided to keep Toothless in our room. Since he’s still so little we don’t want anything to happen to him. I put Toothless in his bed and he continue to sleep. Sky put some food and water in Toothless’ bowls. We left our room and went to the Common Room to eat dinner. Eating is the only time we got to know each other. I found out that everyone is so nice and respectful to each other. I didn’t sense any jealously from either of them. The pack does work. I felt like everyone aren’t each other’s soul mate. They act more like siblings. I feel that our team and the Healers are one big happy family.

Rich: Do you guys have a cat in the house?

Sky: Jazzy and I do. Are you allergic?

Rich: No, I’m not allergic to cats or dogs. I love animals. I also brought a pet to the house. A small puppy. My parents gave to me as a going away present. My puppy is going to be in my room most of the time. I’m just letting everyone know incase you hear barking or loud shouting coming from my room.

Sky: Good to know. Toothless is going to be in our room most of the time. Since he’s so little and I’m afraid that he might run out of the front door.

Everyone: Mhm.

Jazzy: Alright. Let’s clean up and go to bed early. We all have an early start.

Everyone: Mhm.

So we all cleaned up. Did the dishes. And said goodnight to one another. Sky and I returned our rooms. Sky took a shower and I looked through my calendar for tomorrow. It turns out all of R.M.C. has classes together for Basic Training. We start at 9 am. I set my alarm for 7 am. After Sky came out of the bathroom I let him know about tomorrow. He agreed. We both got a text from the other members of R.M.C. and they have the same thought as I did. Which is good. Then it was my turn to take a shower. 20 minutes later I came out of the bathroom. That’s when I noticed that our room has one King size bed. I felt a little nervous. Sky could sense it and said that he will sleep on the sofa and I can have the bed. I shook my head and told him that we can share the bed. I don’t want him tossing and turning all night. I want him to be comfortable. So, we climb into bed. Said goodnight and Sky turned off the lights.

-End of Day 0-

12/2/2020, Wednesday, Week 1, Day 1:

The next morning at 7 am my alarm went off. I turned it off. As I start to wake up from my slumber. I noticed that Sky was hugging me. I smiled. I loved that he was hugging me, because I felt safe in his arms. Sky was awake when I rolled to face him.

Sky: -smiling- Morning Princess.

Jazzy: -smiling- Morning sweet Prince.

Sky: -leaning in and kissed me on the cheek- Acceptable?

Jazzy: -nodding- Mhm. -kissing him on the cheek-

I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. 5 minutes later I came out and got dress. Sky went to the bathroom to get ready. I fed Toothless breakfast and I got my stuff ready for the day. When Sky came out of the bathroom, he too pack up his back pack. We said goodbye to Toothless and went to the Common Room. Everyone member of R.M.C. was already there. Eating breakfast. Mike was the one who made breakfast for everyone. It turns out that Mike woke up at 5 am to prep everything. I also found out that Mike will make breakfast for us and the Healers, Phil will make lunch for us and the Healers, and Simon will make dinner for us and the Healers. It turns out that Mike, Phil, and Simon loves to cook. What I was most surprise was that there was already a chore list, hung in the kitchen door way. I saw that Sky is responsible for taking out the trash every day, I was responsible for doing the dishes on Tuesdays. I hate doing the dishes, but I saw that there was a dish washer in the kitchen. I sigh a relief. The chore list was long, but all of us have a job to do for the next 6 weeks. I smiled.

Sky: We are very responsible. Our parents taught us well from a young age that we have to clean after ourselves. By doing chores was taught to us at very young age. We don’t like it. But we have to do it because it’s part of life.

Jazzy: You guys sure are full of surprises. :)

Mike: There’s more. :)

Jazzy: Surprises?

Mike: Mhm. :)

Rich: For example, who ever doesn’t do their chores have to eat 1 sour VC mixed in a handful of Bean Boozled flavor jelly beans. :)

Jazzy: Yuck.

Everyone: -laughing-

Today is Wednesday so it is Charlie’s turn to do the dishes. Without complaining Charlie collected all the dishes, rinsed the dishes, and put all the dishes into the dish washer. Then we went into the elevator. Our classes take place in the basement. A few minutes later we got out of the elevator. There was a sign that said, “R.M.C. Classes to the left. Healers Classes to the right” The girls wave goodbye to the R.M.C. members as we went our separate ways. When the R.M.C. members walked into class. I almost had a heart attack. My father was inside the room. I can’t believe that my father is going to teach us Basic Training. We took our seats as class began.

Mr. Tam: Good morning. :)

R.M.C. Members: Morning. Counselor Tam.

Mr. Tam: Today, I’m going hand out your class schedules, journals, and iPads. Use these iPads only for your courses. Nothing us. Because in the past the Elders had found inappropriate things on these iPads. The Elders had to block a lot of sites. Also, the punishment for any misuse of these iPads is spending a whole month assisting the King.

R.M.C. Members: Understood.

Mr. Tam: Good.

Mr. Tam handed out the class schedules, journals, and iPads. When I saw my class schedule I wasn’t surprise. Every day for the next 6 weeks class begins at 9 am and ends at 4 pm. This is what our class schedule looks like, Monday, 9 am - 12 pm, History. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Tuesday, 9 am 12 pm, Spell Casting part 1. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Spell Casting part II. Wednesday, 9 am - 12 pm, Basic Physical Training. 12 pm - 1pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Thursday, 9 am - 12 pm, Potion. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4pm, Work Study. Friday, 9 am - 12 pm, Review. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Saturday, 9 am - 12 pm, Clean Up part 1. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Clean Up part 2. Sunday is rest day. It’s going to be a very packed 6 weeks.

Mr. Tam: Okay, lets go through your schedules. On Monday, you will have me as a professor until lunch time. Lunch and Work Study you’re all on your own. Each day you’ll have a different professors. The only time all 16 of you will have classes together is on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. As you all can see on Tuesdays there are two different lessons. One for the Elements and one for the Non-Elements. So use your time wisely. Any questions about your schedules?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Moving on to journals. Open up your journals and you will see your assignments for each subjects. Sebastian will come and collect your journals on Fridays, at midnight. Be sure to finish all your assignments by Friday at midnight. No exception. For any unfinished assignments you will get a 0 on the assignment. Your History assignments are worth 10 points, Spell Casting assignments are worth 15 points, Non-Spell Casting assignments are worth 10 points, Work Study assignments are worth 5 points, Potions assignments are worth 20 points, Review assignments are worth 25 points, and Basic Physical Training are worth 30 points. For a total of 115 points for all assignments. There are mid-terms on week 3 which is worth 50 points and a final on week 6 which worth another 50 points. For your final grade you have to get a total of 215 points. At any point during these next 6 weeks any of you are below 215 points, for example, you only did 1 week of assignments and you have 100 points. Then you just put your journal in a drawl and totally forget about it for the next 5 weeks, and you get 2 points on both your mid-terms and finals. Your total points of 104. You will not move on to next training stage. You will repeat the Basic Training stage. If you don’t want to repeat your Basic Training and decide to leave R.M.C. then that’s fine with the Counsel and the King. We will not keep those who don’t want to do the work. Any questions about your journals?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Moving on to iPads. Basically all your textbooks, review questions, assignment questions, practice quizzes, exams, mid-terms, and final questions are in the iPads. Don’t even try to go on the inappropriate sites because they are all blocked. Oh, one more thing about your assignments this is for all your classes, please write down the questions in black ink and your answers in blue ink. You’re to turn in your iPads every Saturday along with your journals. When you get your iPads and journals back on Sunday night, you’ll get a text alert on your phones with your grades. On your iPads there would be comments from your professors and Sebastian, that you all must read and sign. Each time you sign these Comment Pages you’ll get an extra 5 points. Don’t cheat the system. We will know if you did your assignments or not. Cheating the system will automatically get thrown out of any training stage you’re in. Once you get thrown out of a training stage you can’t get back into Royal Court. Not even if you beg the King. Once you’re out, you’re out for good. There’s no next time or second chances. Because there’s no second chances in real life when you’re in a war. Understand?

R.M.C. Members: Yes Sir!

Mr. Tam: Good. Now, -looking at his watch- we still have plenty of time left. We will go into our first history lesson. Tap on your History app and flip to page 5.

My father started our lesson. Chapter 1 of Mythical Kingdom was about how the King ancestors fought countless wars to get the freedom we have today. All these wars in the past were super bloody. A lot of mythical creatures and humans has died from these wars. I finally understand that my parents lived through dark times. In Mythical Kingdom there are 30 clans. Each of these 30 clans gets smaller each year because of these wars. Only recently that these 30 clans are getting back to normal. The bloody wars almost destroy the humans. There are humans living in Mythical Kingdom. We rarely see the humans because all the humans are homeless people. There are only 100 humans left and they are all humans. This problem hasn’t been taken care of. Because the past Kings never bother with this problem. The past Kings think that all humans are useless. The humans are only helpful are in wars and still they end up dead in less then 20 minutes. King You still didn’t do anything about the human population. King You said that the humans are beyond help. Why bothered.

Mr. Tam: -looking at his watch- Okay we have 10 minutes left. Your assignment is to write one to two pages answering an question. You’ll find your question and further instructions on the Assignment app. Any questions?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Class dismissed.

We packed up and left for lunch. Phil ran into the kitchen to start making lunch. 20 minutes later lunch was serve. While we were eating lunch we were talking about our morning. I on the other hand felt kind of sick after my history lesson. So I didn’t eat very much. But Phil made lunch on the blander and softer side of things. Because I almost puke during class. My father can describe things in gruel details. I thank Phil for the bland and soft lunch. Phil and some of R.M.C. members were feeling a little sick after our history lesson. So I wasn’t alone. After lunch Charlie collected the dishes, unload the dish washer, put the clean the dishes back on to the shelves, and load the dish washer. The Healers went back to the basement to continue their day lesson. While the R.M.C. members went to our Work Study. Which turns out to be in the Common Room. Basically, Work Study was a group study. It is the time for us to do our homework and study.

We all started our assignment. No one said a word. Well, Rich started to complain. He doesn’t like doing homework. Rich complained for a good 30 minutes until Mike and Phil told Rich, that if he completes homework early he doesn’t have do them on Fridays. Rich sigh and quit his complaining and did his work. The assignment was very easy to do. The question was If you can solve the human problem how would you do it and why. From the notes that I took and reading Chapter 1. I finished my assignment in 2 hours. I wrote 4 and half pages. I began doing End of Chapter 1 questions, even though it’s next Monday homework. But I like to get some of these homework done ahead of time. By 4 pm all of us were done with our first assignment. I on the hand finished 4 Mondays worth of assignments. Sky did the same thing. Simon went to kitchen to cook dinner. The Healers classes end at 4 pm as well. So while Simon was cooking dinner we went to our rooms to shower and take a break.

Sky and I make sure Toothless was okay. Which of course he was perfectly fine. I fed Toothless dinner while Sky took a shower. Through out the entire day, Sky was very good. Not once did he flirt with me. He was very focused on his work. I was also very proud of myself for doing the same thing. After Sky was done with his shower, it was my turn. Sky played with Toothless while he waited for me. 20 minutes later I came out dressed and refreshed. We went down to the Common Room to eat dinner. 2 hours later Charlie cleared up the table and Sky took out the trash. After everything was put away and cleared up we to sit in the Common Room. That’s when the biggest bombshell was dropped on to our laps. It turns out that Jeff and Brandy mated.

Everyone: What?! -shocked-

Jeff: Yea. Brandy and I been together for a very long time.

Brandy: Mhm.

Jazzy: -confused-

Jeff: I imprinted on Brandy when she was born in 2005. She was 5 years old.

Jazzy: Oh.

Jeff: When I was 18 I bit Brandy. She was only 13. We couldn’t get married because her parents thought we were too young. Even though I bit her and she is my soul mate. We decided to wait until this year to hold a ceremony. We sign our marriage license last year. But I wanted all my boys to be there, and Brandy wants all her girls to be there. Plus, Brandy thought it would be cute that her bridemaids to have their other half to be her girls partners on our wedding day. But Sky was the only one single in our group. So we waited until he found his other half, then we will have our wedding. :)

Jazzy: -blushing-

Sky: You two don’t have to wait for me. -blushing-

Brandy and Jeff: We want to. :)

We said our congratulations. The wedding was set on May 2, 2021. After that big news we decided to get a early rest. We all went to our rooms, Rich took his puppy out for one last time before turning in for the night. Sky and I checked on Toothless who was asleep when we returned to our room. We brushed our teeth and changed into our pjs. We got into bed and turn off the lights. We weren’t sleeping yet, but in the dark I decided to reward him. Since Sky was already hugging me, I rolled over to face him, nuzzle his neck gently, and that actually aroused him. He knew what I was about to do. He allowed me to do it. I start slowly kissing neck and I moved to his cheek. When I was on top of him I kissed him gently on the lips. Which aroused him even more. I knew he wanted more than just a gentle kiss.

Jazzy: I’ll give you more of a gentle kiss in the future. Let’s see you can last 6 week without flirting with me during the day. This kiss that I just gave you tonight was a reward. :)

Sky: -made a pouty face- I want more.

Jazzy: You’ll just have to wait and be patient. :)

Sky: -sigh softly-

Jazzy: I know its hard. But to those who wait will get the reward in the end. :)

Sky: You promise?

Jazzy: I promise. I would make it worth your while. :)

Sky: Okay. :)

I rolled off Sky. We said good night to each other. Sky rubbed my side softly until we both fell asleep.

-End of Chapter Ten-

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thedivinefish · 4 years ago

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TGIWednesday and party like it's MY birthday

TGIWednesday News

Today is my birthday and yes, this is how I feel as my g'daughter Charlie represents another year has come and gone! Where does it go? I have a movie star client that always says, “The days are long but the years fly by!” The ultimate lessons that I have learned over time are as my sweet momma always said, “I don’t do rush.” So slow it down a bit and don’t hurry up into anything or anyone! Know that I appreciate you and every birthday. I am now making every effort to receive personal self-care, whether it’s a haircut/massage/reading or other. And with all of my birthdays I like to treat others...

So here you go in celebration of my birthday on August 19th we have activated a Special 19% off Discount on ALL Audio MP3 and eBooks in the shop for the next 19 hours! You'll see the price adjustment after you Add To Cart and begin Checkout. This deal will be gone in a FLASH so don't delay! Go here now and have fun shopping! (*sessions/prayers zoom videos and certification are NOT included - time runs out at 6pm ET/ 3pm PT on Thursday the 20th) Make it fun today and every day and know that I appreciate you and I plan on having my version of fun too!

Get Jimmy's Bday19 Discount Here!

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~ CLEARING YOUR DAY AND EVERY DAY ~ I believe, think, know and feel that my day today is Clear. I know, when, where, how and why to release my day today from unclear. I am ready, willing and able to have everything today in this very day, running forward with grace and ease and I am asking in all time lines and languages and so it is.

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

AUGUST 19th- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Birthday Greetings from my Inbox: "Jimmy, Happy Birthday, listen my tooth is really bothering me and I have another dentist appointment tomorrow but I am hoping to get with you today to get rid of this pain and anxiety, so get me in on your first available, K?. "Happy Birthday, do you think my resumé is being received because the recruiters act skittish and I am wondering if it’s just me or the whole state of Florida? Can we schedule? "Jimmy, Happy Birthday my dear friend, I hope you are having a blast and I know that traditionally you don’t schedule clients on your birthday, but I am hoping you will make an exception for me because I just got back from the doctor, hit me back. "Jimmy, Happy Birthday, I forgot that you are a fellow Leo like me, listen, I cannot find my car keys anywhere.....Thoughts? Hints? Impressions? "Happy Birthday buddy, I know you’re not working today but my anxiety and loneliness is at a new level, honestly we have to get together ASAP anything available noonish today? Call, text or email asap. "Jimmy, I know that you’ve been working on me for attracting more women and I REALLY want to get with this new girl. I don’t think I told you that I found out her husband’s name is the same as mine and now she’s acting all cold towards me. Do you think that all the attractive good mojo stuff you’ve been sending my way went to the wrong Phillip? I know it’s like midnight but call me ASAP." Daily Affirmation: "Today I will remember that we have choices. That "No" can be a one word sentence. That other people are generally self-absorbed and that I can make the choice to buy into that as a belief and or as much as a choice that they have made. Today I will choose peace and quiet."

From the Fish Box

"Good morning Jimmy, When I woke up early this morning my cat still hadn't come home. So I got dressed and went to go look for her. After 45-min and feeling into where she was, I stood at a spot quietly calling (as it still was really early) and suddenly she started meowing from somewhere and found her way to me. After a bit of saying hello, she led the way home. So, she's back and I'm happy ;) Thanks for the session and assistance yesterday. It helped a lot!" - Nicky

From Jimmy: Some of you may have read on Facebook that MY sweet black male cat "Kitty" has been missing for over a week. If you can offer your prayers for his safe and quick return, we sure could use them! 🙏 It would be the best birthday present ever!!

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Next MySwitchWorks Live Zoom Event Wednesday August 26th 7:30-8pm ET August: Themes of Loss

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Let’s have this one be about what you feel you’ve lost and what you’d like to reclaim! Gainful employment, peace, restored zest for life etc... Send in your Top 3 to [email protected] (please do not reply to the confirmation email)

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with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism. Join Us and Watch Online!

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Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1. One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it. 2. If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host. 3. Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4. It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5. If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6. Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: [email protected] Yesterday's Show - Watch the replay here! Special Guest Jeremy Riden Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/ UPCOMING GUESTS:

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page September 1st Psychic Joanne Leo | Numerology/astrology/angel cards reading from the heart www.psychicjoanneleo.com September 8th Jeremy Riden | Cards and intuitive readings https://divinesparkministries.com/about-jeremy-riden September 15th Gosia Lorenz| Clearing negative entities and intuitive readings www.gosialorenz.com September 22nd Ayla Murray | Tarot/Angel Cards and intuitive readings https://www.facebook.com/harmonicperspective/ September 29th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

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Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

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You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!

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Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online. 3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

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The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

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For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved

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divinefishingtips · 4 years ago

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TGIWednesday and party like it's MY birthday

TGIWednesday News

Get Jimmy's Bday19 Discount Here!

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

From the Fish Box

Monthly LIVE Zoom Event

Next MySwitchWorks Live Zoom Event Wednesday August 26th 7:30-8pm ET August: Themes of Loss

Have you recently suffered a loss of work, a loved one in spirit, lost innocence, lost health, lost youth and vitality?

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years ago

Text

TGIWednesday and party like it's MY birthday

TGIWednesday News

Get Jimmy's Bday19 Discount Here!

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

From the Fish Box

Monthly LIVE Zoom Event

Next MySwitchWorks Live Zoom Event Wednesday August 26th 7:30-8pm ET August: Themes of Loss

Have you recently suffered a loss of work, a loved one in spirit, lost innocence, lost health, lost youth and vitality?

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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