#because i have this urge to be like 'oh this is taboo/kneejerk judged let's poke at it' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gloriousmonsters · 2 years

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do you ever look at your book and have this like. mental projected image laid over it of ‘here’s how i know this story would go if I picked it up randomly at the library and it was a recently written book’, like here’s how the story would progress and end and here’s how the characters would act and here’s how the villain would be characterized and how he’d be punished... and then you look at everything you’re writing going off into a weirdass disturbing left field and you’re kind of proud but also increasingly nervous about how anyone could ever relate to what you’ve written or want to buy it

#it has helped finding other weirdos who genuinely like my most offbeat stuff #but i still get anxiety left over from both #people reading my work in the past and interpreting a sympathetic character as creepy and offputting #and people on the nanowrimo forums reacting with disgust and self-righteous commendation about one of my characters (a different one) lol #also just. knowing that i'm deliberately writing fucked up and unlikeable characters in this project #because i have this urge to be like 'oh this is taboo/kneejerk judged let's poke at it'#....and then recursive anxiety/embarrassment over 'it's probably not that bad and you're stupid for worrying' -_-#ANYWAY. i am going to say FUCK ALL THAT and go write some

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