#because i can brace my core no problem but i don't want to find out if it's not 100% yet with a loaded barbell in my hands

[banishingsigils]

maybe i'm the last to know this or other people are better at thinking through repercussions than i am, but maybe don't use the glute bridge machine if you have an iud, folks. i thought i'd placed the strap so it put pressure on my abdomen like when i do barbell hip thrusts. no ma'am, i did not manage that. instead i've had tenderness right where i know my iud is for the last two days. anyway, it's a lot better today but boy, that was a consequence i did not consider.

[spokelseskladden]

Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to ask if you still have ideas about the Time Travel AU (the CK one) cause I've been a little obsessed with it (I really love you art ♥️)

Omg CK time travel AU... I'm so happy people still like it, I haven't thought about it in so long :') sadly I don't have any new art of it, but I can add a few notes

The whole idea was always about Miguel and Robby from the end of season 4 waking up around the start of season 2. Neither one knows the other is in the same boat, and it creates some problems as both try to change events in their own ways, thus making different situations harder to predict. They also go about it the wrong way until they get Demetri on board, like they focus on the wrong things to solve the problems.

I was always imagining Miguel waking up on the day he gets his braces removed, because everything will suck for him for a while but at least he'll get to experience that twice ( my people who wore braces will know what I'm talking about)✌️✌️

Before Robby and Miguel figure out they're time travelling buds they try to sabotage each others non-existent relationships. This makes Sam think Miguel still is a jealous douchebag, Tory thinks Robby is...weird. basically, those relationships are soooo dead. I like Robby/Tory (controversial, I know) but it would be complicated. There's a chance for them being endgame, but I'm on the fence about it, cause the point of this AU was more about friendships, especially for Robby.

This one drawing I made where Robby and Miguel sort of talk about juvie/the paralysis was supposed to take place after this big fight they had. Because they're not friendly towards eachother after finding out they're both from the future. They're forced together due to the circumstances, but there's a lot of tension between them that culminates into this big fight where they nearly repeat the event they're trying to avoid. It shakes them to their core, and they realise they don't want this -> they try to talk about it and figure out that they have more in common than they thought.

This was supposed to be the turning point in the au. Pre them making up, everything just went from bad to worse, every situation they tried to fix ended with something else going straight to hell, but once they become friends? Everything suddenly seems to go smoothly. Until it doesn't. (enter fucking Hawk and the feelings they didn't take into account. Because they were all clueless about it.)

Hawk is in love with Miguel. This is true in all universes, I take no criticism on this lol. The AU was never supposed to be migueli centric, but it makes him extra jealous of Robby. Like, if the guy you like suddenly start sneaking around with someone you both used to talk shit about, keeping secrets, blowing off a potential girlfriend for this person, and now they suddenly seems to get along a bit too well? Yeah he thinks they have something going on. Which sucks for him, cause it's one thing if Miguel can't like him back because he's straight, if he's actually into guys as well? Ouch. It's a total misreading of the situation, but Hawk isn't going to jump to time travelling buddies as the first answer :/ There's a lot of hurt feelings here, and his go to coping mechanism is ofc anger and overreactions. Miguel is so used to Hawk listening to him (especially in his champ era) he didn't ever count on him doing the exact opposite in order to spite him. Cause he kinda...took Hawk for granted I guess 😔

While I made a joke about Hawk hitting on Tory (because she never got with Miguel there's nothing stopping him from doing that) I never planned on them getting together. They would go on one date maximum, Tory would realise they're way better as friends because they would've had a toxic fucking dynamic, and break it off. Which also makes Hawk spiral, but this ain't about him. Tory hangs with Aisha more because she's not with Miguel, and they have their own theories on what's going on with Miguel (and hawk tbh). I think they're the ones who accidentally starts this whole "Miguel and Robby might be...👀👀👀👀" Thing. They also realise what Hawk's deal is.

Sam v. Tory is waaaay more focused on Aisha, as it always should've been imo. I don't think their rivalry gets as bloody, and I think all three can learn some important lessons way faster. Also Aisha never disappears, because there's no school fight.

The adults are the biggest challenge, because neither Miguel nor Robby knows what the hell they were up to most of the time, and they're the ones who creates the mess. Miguel is from the end of s4, so from his perspective his relationship with Johnny is strained, while Johnny has no clue why their dynamic feels so off now(when he finds out Miguel and Robby are friends now, he assumes it's because of his shit relationship with Robby. Which isn't far off from the truth, once Miguel and Robby start talking they actually bond quite a bit over failed fathers/father figures which in turn puts even more strain on the Johnny-Miguel dynamic)

Originally I was considering Miguel being in a similar accident in the end, but under different circumstances. I'm not sure if it would work, but there's something about doomed narratives that compels me.

At least one character will be disappointed in Robby and Miguel for not even trying to win the lottery once they find out they're from the future. Robby and Miguel say they were a bit preoccupied with stopping the karate-gang-wars. Idk which character this should be but let's be real, it's Bert.

[tdoompoet]

Keep You: Preservation of Papyrus

Sans had snapped from the humans endless genocide routes, and so took the option away from them by killing everyone himself first. After so many times doing it on his own, he grew tired (and desparate) from the loneliness. He can't keep it up, but he can't stop, either.

--------------------

(Full story under Keep Reading, with alt link to Ao3 in notes)

(Potentially triggering drawing at end of story)

(CW: injury, violence, genocide, decapitation, body horror)

--------------------

Keep You:

Preservation of Papyrus

--------------------

Not again.

He couldn't do it again.

Yet here he was, covered in dusty remains once more, the population under the mountain made silent.

It had become routine:

Wake up.

(was he really awake?)

Recognize the world had Reset.

(again. he had to do it all again. and again. and again--)

Spend an hour staring at the ceiling, bracing himself for the day's work ahead.

(--again. and again. and again. he had to--)

Slip by Papyrus, busy preparing a fresh batch for his spaghetti trap.

("Today I, The Great Papyrus, WILL capture a human! Nyeh-heh-heh!! --Brother! Don't forget to Calibrate! Your! Puzzles" --yet again--)

Murder Everyone.

After so many repeats (thousands? tens of thousands? how many by the kid's hand, how many by his own?), he was able to go about his self-appointed duty on auto-pilot. Easy enough to slip on his smile, walking alongside the townsfolk and make them laugh or groan at corny jokes as though it were any other day, until they were out of sight of anyone else. Then they couldn't react to anything anymore.

Easy enough for the first dozen or so, as he built up his first few levels of LoVe (don't think about how with his single ATK lousy damage that the only ones he could take down swiftly and quietly at first still being in stars damned stripes--). Even easier once the LoVe trickled into his Soul and what little guilt he could still feel was replaced with adrenaline and the growing reinforcement of the knowledge that he would soon be completely alone in this world once more.

But things would be different this time.

He dusted his way through Snowdin, then Waterfall, and Hotland along with the Core, and finally on his way to the Capitol, careful to keep a good distance between his brother and himself even as the population dwindled to be replaced by gusts of dust, and his growing LoVe became more and more obvious to the point that others went on the defensive as soon as they laid eyes on his on imbalanced red-tinted gaze.

No one would be allowed to stop him. He must complete this before the human arrived and destroyed everyone themself. (was he really any better than the kid, or even that damned flower?)

An encounter with the King would have been likely to end in Sans' favor even before he gained any LoVe, what with the King's own LoVe and guilt making him weak to the mercies of the Judge. This, it couldn't even be counted as a fight. Sans couldn't afford to stop and think of why, if it was because the King believed he deserved the Judgement for all his own sins when there was nothing left to lose, or if it was the shock of grief and betrayal from one of his most trusted-- No, can't think about that. There was a goal to complete.

One last task. And then..

The trip to the Room of Souls was quick. Anyone who earned a Royal title was made aware of its exact location, and given a general knowledge of how the Soul containers functioned. No point in limiting the information to the King alone if his death would also result in the loss of the six souls the Underground had managed to collect so far. No point in denying them what little HoPe was left to cling to.

Now, they were Sans' only means of preserving his own last HoPe.

Soul container collected and stashed in his inventory, a detour through New Home where he quickly found and claimed that damned knife (so many Resets since the kid was last able to hit him, and that scar-that-never-happened still fucking BURNED), and a shortcut later found him blinking a gust of dust mixed snow out of his sockets. And ahead of him on the path, same spot as every other time it had come to this point--

Deep breath. Don't get distracted yet. He was so close to finishing this.

So close to saving Papyrus from the non-existent mercies of the creature masquerading as a human.

Papyrus stood there, seemingly expecting him (as he did every time it came to this point of the timeline), the small remainder of hope being replaced with that soul wrenching mix of grief, disappointment, and ever-present Mercy once he took in the changes to his brother. Once he saw the effects of the LoVe he'd earned.

"Brother."

Sans said nothing. Time was of the essence. The human would be through the ruins soon. But--

"All the Dogi are gone. And all of our neighbors."

"..yea." There was no denying the evidence, he fully knew and accepted what he'd done, but somehow it was still a struggle to get the admission out past the sudden tightness in his non-existent throat at admitting it to his brother.

"Undyne isn't answering her phone."

Sans said nothing. The reason why was obvious. He can't think of how his actions hurt his brother just yet. He'll accept everything Papyrus has to throw at him once this is over. He deserves nothing less.

"She's never going to, is she. Nor any of our other friends." A statement. Not a question.

Every other timeline, he ended it immediately upon shortcutting here before his brother had the chance to talk him down. To allow his guilt and grief to overwhelm him before he could finish and result in his brother being left to the tender (non) mercies of the kid. But if this worked (it WOULD work) Papyrus would be able to say anything he wanted to his Soul's content. He'd be ALIVE to do so.

"..i'm sorry, Papyrus. i have to do this." He was cracking. He needed to get his shit together. He needed to finish before that door opened and everything was ruined.

"Brother, this isn't the way to solve any problem! You KNOW this! Talk to me, I don't underst--"

His barely-wavering appeal, a tangled mess of bravery, belief in his brother, and wet with tears of grief finally released when the truth could no longer be denied, was cut off by a wave of bones surging up behind him. Familiarity from years of training with his brother had him dodging forward into Sans' space without a thought. It was playing dirty, but right now that didn't matter.

Sans took advantage of the familiar routine, manipulating Papyrus into position to move under his outstretched arm, yank him down by the scarf, and within a blink the cursed knife was out of his inventory and through Papyrus' neck.

Everything stopped as quickly as it started, Papyrus never even having a chance to recover from the shock before his body started dusting away beneath him.

"W-well, that's not what I expected," Papyrus managed to say. Sans' soul damn near broke right then from hearing the familiar words usually spoken to the human all those genocide runs ago now directed at himself. But he couldn't let it affect him. Not now. No time.

With speed few would believe he possessed, the knife was dropped, the Soul container was out of his inventory, on the ground, opened, and the orange soul of Bravery tossed aside without a thought. With hands starting to shake, Papyrus' head was reverently lowered inside in its place.

The lid was quickly sealed. Sans remained crouched, staring into the jar and shaking with anticipation as the rest of Papyrus dissolved to dust beside him. The scarf caught up in a sudden gust of wind, fluttering down to catch around himself and the container holding what (HoPefully) remained of his brother. It was hard to tell whether it felt more like a threatening noose or a comforting embrace.

(It was his brothers. Of course there was only ever one option it could be, regardless of what Sans thought he deserved.)

The silence stretched on, Sans refusing to break eye contact for a moment even as a stinging mix of magic and dust dripped into his straining sockets. He couldn't look away, not even to blink. Not until he was sure it worked. Not until--

"Brother, I believe we need to have a talk. There are much better ways to solve problems than shoving people into jars! Well, parts of people! That was very rude! I was very attached to my body! And where did you even find a jar that already seemed to have people parts in it?? They--!!!"

Sans couldn't help it. The tension melted out of him, body falling into a heap between the jar containing his ranting (LIVING!) brother and the dissolving human soul. Tremors wracked him as dreaded anticipation of failure switched too quickly into hysterical laughter, the disbelief of success overwhelming.

Alive. Papyrus was still alive, and still very much himself. Well, until the shock wore off, at least. He was well aware he had a lot to make up to Papyrus for, not that he could ever make up for everything he had done. But Papyrus was safe, ALIVE. With him, and unable to needlessly sacrifice himself to the human yet again.

Sans managed to save him, and he would never have to be alone with his ghosts again.

.

.

.

At the far end of the path, through the woods and over the bridge, a stone door creaked open. The human child stepped out into the snow.

--------------------

A.N. Wasn't sure how to do it, but had the idea of the human coming out of the ruins and being horrified out of their genocidal stupor at the image of Sans gleefully hugging the jar containing his brother's decapitated head, evidence that he'd willfully done it surrounding him. Who knows, maybe it would be enough of a shock to get them to reconsider their choices up to now.

Alternatively, there was the idea that Sans would manage to evade the human while keeping the Papyrus jar close to him at all times (perhaps he even did this early on before killing everyone else), and.. just enjoying what he can of his brother's company before using him as a last resort EXP boost, even going so far as to break the jar and finish dusting his brother in front of the human for the extra shock factor.

But I couldn't bring myself to go that route. With Papyrus having the chance to natter on and chip away at his brother's mental walls while trapped in the soul container, I don't think Sans could have brought himself to murder Papyrus a second time in one run.

[trulisthetic]

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P 

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point. 

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved.  So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes. 

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

[harryfreakinstyles2]

Torn (Part 5) H.S.

“What the hell are you doing here?" I whisper. My pulse instantly starts to race, partially from his presence and partially from the terror of being in a room with him and Julie at the same time.

"Julie invited me yesterday. I figured the offer still stood. And I figured you wouldn't invite me." He whispers back eyeing me down. He definitely did not like my reaction to his presence.

"You need to leave now. This is a bad idea." I whisper. I look behind me nervous but the view of the front door is just out of sight from the kitchen wall blocking the living room. Putting my hand on his chest I push him back out the front door. Hoping he will not fight me on this and just leave.

"No, I'm not leaving. We're friends now, so what's the problem?" He says testing me and even though his voice sends a shiver up my spine I want to kick him in the shin for being an ass right now. He leans in even closer so he is only inches away waiting for my response. My pulse starts racing and I hope he doesn't notice. God this boy is stubborn.

My breathing has become rapid and uneven. I notice my hand is still on his chest when I feel his heart start beating faster. I pull away quickly embarrassed I take a step away from him to help clear my head.

"Who is it, Allie?!" Julie yells from the living room making me jump slightly.

"Fine." I say coldly to him not wanting to argue with him when everyone is right inside and turn back into the apartment. I can feel him following close behind me. Why is he doing this to me? Why does he have to make this harder for me. It's like he enjoys watching me suffer.

"Look who's here," I say with a fake cheerful voice to the group as I walk back into the living room and take my seat on the floor.

"Harry!!" Julie says in her high-pitched squealing tone making my ears ring slightly.

"Hey! You guys don't mind if I join you right?" Harry responds casually while avoiding the scowl on my face.

"Of course not! But you'll have to sit on the floor with Allie because we are out of seats," Julie informs him with a smile and my body tenses. What the hell I figured at least she would have him sit with her. This just keeps getting worse.

I watch him as he slips his shoes off and makes his way towards me. He is trying to hide his delight, but I can see his smile forming which both irritates me and sends another chill up my spine at the same time. He purposely sits closer to me than necessary but luckily no one else notices. He is wearing a light grey hoodie and his usual black skinny jeans and looking so good it makes me want to scream. I start eating handfuls of my popcorn to keep myself occupied as I try not to glare at his cheerful attitude.

After a few minutes of Dylan arguing with Maya and Julie about what movie to watch the girls finally win with the classic "The Notebook" as their choice movie of the night. I have avoided speaking since I sat back down not wanting to bring attention to myself and not being able to focus on anything other than the inch of space that separates my body from Harry's. I keep my legs crossed Indian style with my popcorn in my lap trying to keep my distance. Julie finally gets up and starts the movie and then continues to shut off every light in the entire living room. And I sigh annoyed that I can't seem to catch a break tonight.

The first thirty minutes of the movie roll by without Harry moving an inch. He is completely focused on the movie. Every now and then a slight laugh escapes his perfectly shaped lips and I can't help but smile to myself even though I am still pissed at him for coming here in the first place. Realizing that Harry seems to be on good behavior tonight and is done torturing me I finally start to relax. With my popcorn gone I lean over and place the bowl on the floor next to me as I stretch my legs out in front of me. I grab my blanket spreading it out over of me as I relax back against the couch. I can see Harry looking at me from the corner of my eye. I turn to glare at him again and he makes a gesture for me to share my blanket with him. I sigh reluctantly and hand him the edge of the blanket closest to him. Pulling the blanket over his legs he takes the opportunity to close the inch of space between us. Our legs are flush against each other and our shoulders are touching, my body instantly starts to react to his as my pulse brings to race, and I can feel every inch where his body touches mine and I feel like I am on fire. I try not to move so he won't notice the effect he has on me. I casually look behind me and both Julie and Dylan are passed out leaning on Maya who is still eating a bowl of chips. Luckily both her and Sam are so focused on the movie they don't seem to notice Harry and I sitting so close together on the floor. I turn back around focusing my attention back on the movie when I feel Harry's fingertips rest just above my knee under the blanket. My eyes widen, and I do not dare to pull them away from the movie. Slowly his fingertips start to trail up my thigh and in this moment I am so happy I decided to wear pants instead of pajama shorts, so he cannot feel the goosebumps that follow the path of his touch. His slow pace is torture as my heart pounds and my breathing uneven with every inch he moves up my thigh my body tingles more. I know I should move or swat his hand away but I can't. I flinch startled from a loud crunch of Maya eating her chips behind me snapping me back to reality. Remembering the room full of people and my best friend behind me I rush to my feet to create as much space between Harry and I as I can.

"I'm getting some more popcorn!" I announce much too loud not caring as I break the silence in the room and startle everyone on the couch. I head for the kitchen stepping over Harry's long legs carefully while I glare at his barely visible face in the darkness. I see his huge grin on his face knowing he had his intended effect on me.

I stick the popcorn in the microwave and place my hands flat against the counter trying to return my breathing to normal. The effect he has on me makes me feel like I could burst into flames every time he looks at me. It has been so long since I have felt this way about anyone I almost forgot what it was like. I hear someone enter the kitchen behind me but I don't turn around. He is fucking killing me.

"Hey Allie," I hear a soft voice say but not the one I expected.

"Hey! What's up?" I respond turning around surprised to find Sam standing in front of me.

"Umm, I know this is random but I was just wondering if you had any plans this coming Friday night?" He asks while staring at the floor his usual awkwardness heightened tonight.

Right now?! You have to be kidding me! I know exactly where this is going and I panic not wanting to answer his question. But maybe this is good. Maybe this is exactly what I need. Maybe this will make Harry stop his merciless taunting.

"Uhh, I work in the morning but besides that, I'm free," I say casually bracing myself for his response.

"Is there any chance you would like to go out on Friday? With me?" Sam mutters too fast while still looking at the floor he says exactly what I have been anticipating for months. Why he waited until now when things are complicated I have no idea. But things are not complicated really I realize. So despite the gorgeous guy who just had me almost hyperventilating sitting on my living room floor two minutes ago I answer with a simple, "That sounds great."

My answer takes him by surprise and his head snaps up so fast I feel like he may have whiplash but a smile takes over his entire face and I cannot help but smile back.

"Awesome! I'll text you this week and we can make a plan," he tries to say casually but I can practically feel his excitement.

"Sounds good," I answer with a smile.

He turns and walks into the bathroom across from the kitchen and I sink back against the counter once again and sigh deeply. This is not where I saw tonight going. The microwave beeps and I grab my popcorn pouring it into the bowl and go to head back into the living room to face Harry again. Turning to leave I nearly smack right into him. He looks pissed but there is also a sadness in his eyes that I have not seen before and it cuts me to my core. His mood has shifted from five minutes ago and I can feel the tension between us. He doesn't say a word and I know he heard Sam and I's conversation. I rack my brain to find something to say to him but it's blank. I don't have any reason to need to explain anything to him but I still feel like I need to.

"Harry," I say reaching my hand out to touch him but he pulls away quickly.

He turns walking away from me and I don't say a word as I follow him back to the living room. What is there to say. I watch helplessly as he puts on his shoes and walks right past me and out the door without a word. I feel like my head is spinning so much has happened in the last ten minutes I can't think straight. I don't know why he is so pissed. Nothing is going on between us. Besides him torturing me. He has no reason to be upset that I am going on a date with Sam. But I think he is and it confuses the hell out of me.

"Is he okay?" Julie says looking at me confused by the strange scene that just unfolded.

"Yeah, he said something about not feeling well and that he has to be up early for work so he decided to head home I guess," I say shrugging my shoulders as I lie to her with ease. I realize I don't even know what he does for work. My stomach turns with guilt for lying to Julie again but I couldn't explain what just happened even if I wanted to.

Sam smiles at me as I walk back to my spot on the floor and take a seat, but I pretend not to see it because I can't return it right now. I feel utterly helpless and like a complete jerk. Why didn't I say anything. And why should I feel guilty, it is not like I am cheating on him. We are not even together. We barely know each other. But for some reason I can not focus on the last bit of the movie with Harry's sad eyes stuck in my head. Not be able to take it any longer I pull out my phone.

Me: "Can we talk? Please!" I text Harry and wait for a reply.

He doesn't have a reason to be mad at me when I told him we could only be friends. He knows that is all I can offer him because of Julie. But it still does not stop me from feeling guilty and shattered by the look on his face when he left. I continue to check my phone every two minutes for the remainder of the movie but Harry never texts me back and the pit in my stomach keeps growing. Everyone gets up starting to chat when the movie finally finishes, but I feel even less like talking than I did before.

"I am heading to bed. Night everyone," I say to the group not waiting for a response and walk into my room and shut the door.

Collapsing on the bed with a sigh. I pull up Harry's contact on my phone, his name just the smirking emoji. I thought it suited him. I put it just in case someone saw him pop up on my phone. By someone I mean Julie. I hit the call button this time and listen to the ringing through the little speaker. It rings again and again until it finally gets to the automated voicemail.

"Ughhhh!" I groan loudly. I wish I would have said something to him. Anything would have been better than this.

Accepting that I will not be hearing from him tonight I put my phone on my nightstand and grab my planner to make sure I did all my homework that's due for class tomorrow before sleep finally takes over.