#because i am very very dumb 😌

[butchladymaria]

honestly re: my last post about The Blood TM, i guess it’s another reason i’m an Eileen Lived Truther lmao

like bloodborne doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to the horrible fates of beloved characters (looking at you through my tears, gilbert). but every example i can think of, arianna, viola, simon, annalise… when they die, we find them very decidedly dead.

but presuming the old blood heals via reanimating the person who takes it, no matter how sorry a state their body might be in… maybe that would give a bit of credence as to why we only find a drying pool of blood rather than eileen’s corpse. maybe she really did manage to get up and have a happy retirement? i can dream, anyway

[tendercherie]

no, I meant hard to believe you were off of it for any amount of time! 😅

LMFAO brutal

[misfortunegirl]

anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈

[naneun-no]

On “Insecure Jikookers”…

Alright. I might lose followers for this and that’s very okay; curate your timeline and protect your peace babes. But for YEARS, every time the phrase “insecure jikooker” has come up on my feed my eyelid has done a little twitchy twitch 🤨🤨

And I have always ignored it, because I’ve never wanted to be out here policing ppl’s language and we are literally supposed to be having fun and celebrating love, like for me that’s the whole point, but —

I’ve been seeing the phrase popping up again surrounding the release of AYS and I just gotta say it.

You guys the term seems so culty 😬🥲

Like I think I get the origin (maybe)? It probably started when some of the early jikook bloggers (if you are one I salute you, I am not worthy, trust me this is NOT a dig at anyone, jikook bloggers are by and large cool and kind af 🙇‍♀️) would get these sketchy asks that were antis or cultists in disguise just casting aspersions on jikook’s bond or being blatantly homophobic and/or in general being rude little anonymous internet gremlins. Or maybe it was people who did want to believe that jikook was real but kept nagging and begging for reassurance at every turn, which I can totally see becoming annoying as hell and prompting people to start using the term.

But it feels like it’s used now as like a catchall for anyone who expresses any doubt or asks any critical questions? Even like… reasonable ones? And I used to see a lot of “hey believe what you want to believe but this is what I believe” but now it seems like the sentiment around jikooker communities has by and large become “if you don’t believe you’re an idiotic dumb person who has never known love — you’re either a rival shipper in disguise or WORSE (dun dun dunnnnn) an Insecure Jikooker — and we don’t want people like you around.”

And idk it just feels weird for a community that has always seemed to kind of pride itself on being the “rational, fact-based” ship… like we LOVE to be smug about how jikook don’t need edits to be obvious, don’t need slo-mo zooms with red circles and arrows because their chemistry and fondness and affection is just plain to see in basic footage. We’re the levelheaded ones 😌.

But doesn’t that mean that we should always be encouraging critical thinking, and if someone comes to a different conclusion than us, so be it? Like it or not, none of us have foolproof confirmation that jikook are anything more than very close friends. That’s literally all we know. The rest is our best guess based on vibes, anecdotes, dot-connecting, subtext and body language observation, experience, perception (!!This is a big one because confirmation bias is real!!), and suspicion. That’s literally it.

Look maybe I’m just projecting 😅 but when you criticize people for expressing reasonable doubt over something that is literally not confirmed, it’s just a little too religious fundamentalist for me! (This is why I was a bad Christian, because I always raised my hand and asked questions the Sunday school teacher didn’t like.)

Feel free to ignore me. I never want to come across as pushy or trying to stir up anything, it’s just a phrase that grinds my gears and I’m sort of hoping I’m not alone in that… but if I am, so be it! 🤣 would love to hear people’s thoughts because maybe I’m missing something.

(P.S. If you’re a troll who spams jikook blog inboxes this is not me defending you. You’re still annoying and you need a better hobby. Have you tried yoga? Snowboarding? Fly fishing? Filming food vlogs and/or painting? You should try cooking. You should stop being an anonymous internet troll stomping on everyone’s proverbial sandcastles and instead write a poem. K bye ✌️ )

[lace-coffin]

Can I has soft Moonie and Monty gator fic, where reader is perpetually exhausted and the animatronics drag em off when they’re meant to be working to help them get some sleep in the pizzaplex? (Totally not projecting here)

How would Moondrop and Montgomery gator react to an exhausted reader on their shift?

Thank u for the moon and Monty rq I want to eat it up so bad😌

Requests are open!

Reader is gn! No trigger warnings required

Working for the pizzaplex was definitely an experience. A good one? Thats up for debate. No you loved your job, the actual security aspect of it was pretty univentful, flicking through the camera’s of the empty pizza plex. It’s not like any intruders would get far anyway with the security bots at every turn and moon slinking around in security mode. You did however get to see the dumb stuff the animatronics got up to after hours though so that was a plus. If she doesn’t tell that you’re watching YouTube on your shift then you won’t tell how you regularly see chica rummaging the kitchens like a racoon over the cams.

It was a pretty cushy job overall but the hours were vile, working from 12-6 am isn’t great for anyone and essentially becoming nocturnal because of it meant you were either sleeping or exhausted in your free time.

Today was one of the days that you’d turned up essentially half alive, isotonic drink held in a death grip and a pack of pain meds at your disposal. You clock in and slump on the chair In front of the security camera’s, groaning as the pain is taken off your joints.

Moondrop

Naturally moon has been following you to your work station since you clocked in, floating through the shadows of the pizzaplex in a totally normal and not creepy way. No matter how many times you tell him he can just greet you normally and walk you over he still refuses and watches you from afar, you know he cares but emotional vulnerability is difficult for him.

A few hours into your shift you can’t take it anymore, energy drink only doing so much for you. Your head starts to loll in your chair, finally getting a blissful second of rest-

“Morning glowbug!” Moon swings down from the ceiling in the upside down Spider-Man pose, intending and succeeding in scaring the shit out of you just as you were drifting off.

You jump in your seat and land in a pile on the floor on your ass. Once moon stops laughing at your misfortune and you realised it was just him and you weren’t about to get bite of 87’nd you huff at him from your spot on the floor.

“Very funny moon man, hilarious in fact, you do know the door is an option right? Now help me up you nerd” you say in fake irritation, tugging his trouser leg and giving him your hand.

“Everyone’s a critic, bug. I found it fairly amusing”he lends you his spindly hands and pulls you up with a bit more force than necessary, making you stumble. He snickers into the long end of his hat and you shoot him a glare. “Not the day dude”

Moons faceplate rotates at this, non verbally questioning what’s causing your sour mood, you usually love playing with him and whatever is ruining your mood needs to stop immediately because it’s ruining his fun (and maybe because he cares about you but he’ll never admit that)

“I’m fine moon, I’m just sleeping bad again, I’ll survive” you say nonchalantly, dangling your energy drink in your hand and chugging the last of it.

Moons grimaces as he watches you do this, you know he hates those stupid drinks, you feel better for an hour or two and then immediately crash worse than before, usually leaving moon to scrape you off the desk and take over the cameras.

You realise what you’ve done before moon can even get a word out, squeaking and throwing the can back on the desk. “It’s uh, not actually that bad! I’ll be fine, you know me haha, just a little behind on sleep” you stutter over your words trying to back track. You know it’s pointless and moon being the way he is you’re not going to get out of this.

“Oh no, go ahead starlight, drink your sludge. I can’t wait to peel you off the desk later” he drawls out, if his eyes could roll any further back into his head then they would have.

You rise from your chair, hiding behind it like a shield as if it’s going to save you from the inevitable. “You know the drill bug, either you get over here or I’m dragging your sorry ass over here” Moons voicebox fizzles out over the inappropriate word, stupid filters.

“Moon, you know I can’t, I have to finish my shift, I promise as soon as I get home I’ll go straight to bed, no messing” despite trying to placate him moon remains unimpressed, arms folded over his chest. You should probably run.

“Starlight they pay you peanuts, you can take one nap, they’ll survive”

The jester moves down slowly and sits on his haunches like a cat. Moon launches himself at you full speed. You scream and run to the other side of the security office, not much room to run to considering how confined it is in the first place. You yell and giggle as this continues, moon drinking in the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. Over a few minuets you start to get worn out, having no energy in the first place. This gives moon the perfect opening to land a pounce on you and snatch you into his arms, throwing you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. You playfully kick and complain but you don’t have it in you to actually be upset.

Unsurprisingly you make it to the daycare attendants room in record time, moons huge strides cutting down on time. “You know the drill” moon says as he throws a pair of daycare themed pyjamas from the gift shop at you, hitting you square in the face. You laugh and crawl into the other room through the tunnel to change.

By the time you’ve changed and come back moon has his bed all made and fluffed up and is looking at you expectantly. “Your chariot, my lord” he says dumbly, pulling back the covers and gesturing to the bed. You snort and climb in, snuggling down into the plush bedding. You make a happy noise and look back at moon, taking his big metallic hand in your smaller warm one.

“Thankyou, for this I mean, I really appreciate you caring about me like this, it means a lot”

Moon makes a fake gagging noise but his faceplate tinges a darker blue, telling his real feelings. “Always so mushy starlight” he laughs, but you know he loves the attention.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

“Bold of you to assume I was leaving in the first place”

Moon scooches into the bed and rearranges his limbs into a comfy position, pulling your head against his chest and starting up his music box. He traces little shapes into your palm until you fall asleep for the night.

Montgomery gator

A horrid crash feeds through the security cam speakers. Excellent. You sigh and flip over to gator golf, already knowing who’s most likely to be causing the noise. Sure enough faint mechanical grunting and roaring can be heard. You can’t seem to find Monty on screen though, so it looks like you’ll be taking a trip down to the golf course.

You groan and pull yourself up from your chair, you really don’t have the energy for this tonight.

Not having to look very far you catch Monty red handed a few steps into the golf course. Golf club jammed into the mouth of one of the mechanical gators below the bridge. You pause and just look at him, unamused, waiting for him to explain.

“Uh, howdy twerp, I’m having some…difficulties?” He try’s, almost framing it as a question. You rub your hand over your face in exhaustion and ask him to expand on his problem.

“I uh worked up a rage after screwing up a note in tonight’s show, wouldn’t have happened if stupid fazzass hadn’t bumped into me” he grumbles, getting side tracked complaining about Freddy. “Anyway, I may have taken a swing at one of those gators…it’s turns out once the club is in it’s hard to get it back out” he laughs and rubs at the back of his head awkwardly, hoping your not going to explode on him.

“I love you but you’re a nightmare, green guy”

Monty snorts at the nickname but realises you look a little worn down, your usual bite not as prominent in your banter.

“Are you ok cher? Like you looking after yourself ok? Not to be an ass but you don’t look as with it as usual” he says in a softer tone, a look of genuine concern washing over his face.

“You want the polite answer or the real one?” Monty laughs and asks for the real one. “I’m tired as all hell and I’m essentially a zombie right now, these night shifts are killing me”

Monty frowns at this, he knows the company can be hardasses when it comes to shift patterns, not caring if their employees work themselves to death as long as the schedule is covered.

“So what you’re saying is we’re going to wrestle this stupid club out of that gator and then you’re going to the nest without causing a fuss?” Monty says, phrasing it as an order and not a question.

“I don’t even have the energy to be stubborn, ask moon man to cover for me please”

Monty gives a toothy grin at this and nods his head. You both work on releasing the golf club from its grizzly demise. Combining both your effort and Monty’s unnatural strength you pull the club free! And send it through the window of gator golf…it can wait for the day crew, technically you only came down to remove it from the gator and you’re beyond caring.

Monty throws his arms in the air in celebration. “Nice shot, cher!” You both cackle at the absurdity of the situation until you let out a yawn.

“Ok squirt, let’s get you to bed” he says softly, rosey eyes roaming over your sleepy face. Monty collects you in his arms and makes his way back to his green room, lending you an oversized gator golf shirt to change into. Monty lets out a little huff out of his nose when he sees you in the baggy shirt, adorable.

“Time to hit the hay kid” he pats on the nest he’s made on the floor out of blankets and various plushies/pillows waiting for you to climb in. Once you settle down Monty curls up around you like a big puppy, placing his snoot on your chest. (He’s totally not hoping for some pets before you sleep..)

“I don’t want to hear a peep out of you unless it’s snoring kiddo” Monty grumbles. “Love you to big guy” you hum and pat his nose

You fall asleep wrapped up in the gators tail, your chest rising and falling in time to the gentle bellows rumbling from the now calm and cuddly animatronic.

[respectthepetty]

as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

[peachjagiya]

Please bear with me, this my very personal, very complicated life story. So...me and my partner, we've been in a very intense public relationship for 7-8 years. We work for the same firm and our employer is uber supportive of our relationship, so much so that we are on every poster of our office's "traits of the perfect colleague couples".

So anyways, we decided to quit our jobs. I've been working on my thing and my boyfriend his own. Now even though technically we should've been living together since we've been in a relationship for so long, but we don't. And since I was busy with my new business venture, I decided to take a break from my very loving relationship bcs we were so much in love that we weren't able to bear the insurmountable level of love we were throwing at each other(ik it makes no sense but that's how I roll🤷🏻‍♂️). Now my boyfriend is an influencer and busy with his own projects but he started missing me something fierce. Like he used to go on insta lives and look all mopey and depressed bcs I had not even been talking to him. Well you can argue that he could've called/ft me himself or even came over to my workplace or home but he instead chose to beg me to do joint lives infront of his millions of followers. Instead of texting me, he would ask me to come to my place infront of his followers. And now I did understand that he was very desperate for my attention, but I still didn't give him any. I used to hang out with my other buddies all the time but didn't really care about my sad bf to even give him a visit. He did the same tbh so you can't blame only me on this. He has this bff (whom we both despise jfyi), for whom he flies to different continents to be with when the bff is on work sched. Now if he can take such long flights, why can't he drive to see me when we are in the same city? Maybe he prefers flying over driving?? Wow I neve thought of that...that changes everything 😮. Should I relocate?

So anyways, after ignoring his melancholy and yearning for close to a year, I've finally decided to go on some trips with him,with just one catch, our holidays will be recorded and made into a vlog series for his yt channel. I could've chosen the better option of travelling privately, but how would that help us rekindle our romance? Imo the best kind of rekindling is done infront of millions of eyes and atleast 20 crew members who also give us directions on how we interact with e/o, that's my version of couples therapy😌.

Now I've seen some people speculating that he's closer to his bff, based merely on the fact that they'd been closer even before I met them and that that bff (whom we hate with every fibre of our being) and my bf spend a lot of time with each other, time he could've been spending with me, etc etc. And some people even say they can see love brimming in their eyes for each other, which is just plain bs imo.

Now how do I shut those a holes up? The ones who are logically, practically and realistically right about my relationship being nothing but friendship? Also, am I a good boyfriend? Imo I am the best one out there mainly bcs no matter how much I ignore my bf, he still pines over me like a sad alpha 😏

Please help me O wise people of taekook land 🙏🏻.

"Should I relocate?"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You're too funny for me, anon, because it took me until "insta lives" to realise. I'm dumb.

💜

[elkkiel]

on that note, I will now be playing Vore at my hypothetical wedding 😌🩷 and yes, I know that the song, in its overarching/primary interpretation (as Vessel wrote it), definitely isn't romantic.

HOWEVER, Mr. Vessel One Token the First himself intended for his music to be interpreted by the listener in whichever way they relate to it. The anonymity of the band isn't just for the "faceless servants of Sleep" concept. The anonymity also acts as a mirror of sorts for their audience. It allows the listener to not only see the music as "[Vessel, behind the mask]'s story," but as their OWN story. there's no face (and, symbolically, no "real" person) to attribute the lyrics to; there's no one true meaning that can be seen, by the listener, as unique to the lyricist. "Vessel' is a blank slate (or: a medium, mode of delivery, ...a vessel) with which we can feel the music on a truly personal level. (<- like I can't remember the exact interviews/interludes/etc. where this is referenced, but I'm not pulling this out of my ass I promise ;w;👍)

Now, the opening paragraph was just a little silly goofy, obviously. BUT, who's to say that one's personal relationship to the lyrics of Vore can't be interpreted as romantic? If that's how their unique life experience shapes their perception of the song, is that less valid than the "primary" meaning inspired by [Vessel behind the mask]'s experience?

For example, I'm someone who was deeply hurt in a romantic relationship, to the degree that even the thought of pursuing romance feels like a dangerous "unknown" to me. In theory the lyrics could be very romantic in my case! "Follow me between the jaws of fate," "Let's get swallowed whole," "Welcome me in," and even "Are you in pain like I am," can be interpreted in positively. As in, maybe finding love with someone new and letting them in really does feel like stepping between the jaws of fate. Opening up my heart again is so fucking scary, but it's also an opportunity for deeper understanding and room to love in a healthy way. Like I love this person so much, and I want them so desperately (/pos), that I'm willing to be swallowed whole by stepping past my fear into unknown territory, as long as I'm by their side.

That said, you might shake your head and say "Ki you dumb bitch, get some reading comprehension skills!" And I would agree: I am a Dumb Bitch Juice connoisseur, and therefore you are not wrong. But also. We're dealing with poetry, fundamentally. And poetry is inherently subjective regardless of the writer's original intent, or what is clearly the "primary" interpretation of their words. Vessel wrote Vore as a way to explore toxic obsession, but that's not where the story ends once it's enjoyed from a different perspective. (fuck, I learned this exact concept in like a 3rd year comms course, but I can't remember what it's called for the life of me lol)

That extends to all of their music, not just Vore. And, arguably, to music in general. I'll always love and honour all that Vessel has chosen to share with us. The main story of his songs will usually be the ones I default to, because I adore how he explores his own complex experiences and feelings. But, in choosing to share your art—especially with Vessel's philosophy behind music—you choose to engage in a relationship with your audience that allows for it to be seen in new, unique lights. And that's okay! That doesn't devalue anything that Vessel has created. It just expands upon it.

Sleep Token's music clearly brings us together due to how emotionally evocative and deeply relatable the stories are (other than cute guys smooching and being Sillies on stage, buuuuut that's besides the point teehee). It starts a conversation that involves opening up about our deepest hurts, and healing with arms wide open to each other.

Or fuck it, maybe you heard Sugar on tiktok and thought it was surface-level sexy with no nuance in your interpretation. A) that's none of my business. B) it doesn't affect my personal relationship with the music. C) the sleepies still get those streams, and therefore get paid at the end of the day 😌✌️🩷

[gauloiseblue]

What is IOFAB König's kinks if he has any? And intimacy stuff that isn't necessarily sex stuff? Cuz there's like this thing that I'm rotating in my head that is... very indulgent and shameable ... and it won't go away ;_; it's not related to sexy stuff (nor is it even related to him) but I just wanna be a self indulgent vindictive little baby fantasizing about being evil... Ninaaaaaa ;_;

The way you write König (all of them and not just IOFAB hubby) is just so... WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Like, I feel like breeding kink, primal play (the chase part and hunting), and biting kink are already a given (extremely indulgent hc is overstim) 🤔... He may not like kids that much but kids are permanent and very binding and [insert random words that if I was more eloquent and not dumbed down by horny, would be here]. Primal play is obvious, I feel like if he's sure she really won't get away, he would have a game of hide and seek or catch with her in the forest and whoever wins gets a prize 😏 (I would elaborate but it is way too shameable). Biting kink is just so interesting to me because while he is The Hunter defined by his patience, he is obviously way more feral and animalistic than the animals and wife he hunts down, he would leave bites all over that ranges from love bites to hickeys to straight up just normal bites (not enough to draw blood but would leave a mark for a short while).

VERY SHAMEABLE AND EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT but I like to think that he likes to use his wife as a chew toy and a fidget toy/stress ball/plushie. By that I mean he likes cuddling his wife and just gets very handsy EVERYWHERE (this would probably get worse once the children comes). Touches ranges from nice massages to groping her to squishing her to holding her to just straight up fingering her. Squish wife for good luck. He also likes pulling her to him or pinning her down and just puts his mouth on her EVERYWHERE. Kisses to her face. Hickeys all over her neck. Bites along her thighs. Nibbles everywhere. Sometimes he kisses the back of her hand and also her palms which is so sweet... then he softly bites her hands, marks her, nibbles on her etc etc

I am way too shameable I can't think of vindictive thoughts of vengeance without my brain doing horny thoughts (God made me horny so that I wouldn't be evil)

We're SO back at our bullshit 🙌🙌🙌

I don't think he has a specific kink, other than doing-whatever-I-want-to-my-wife. If we talk about intimacy, I think he's the type who doesn't talk but shows it thru action instead. He won't say something like "You're the only one for me", instead, he'll literally search for her in the next life. Which is very romantic if you ask me XD

Also, what's that thing that's been rotating in your mind? You have to tell me 🫵

Tysm for liking my version of König 😌 I know he can be OOC sometimes, but he's fun to write

I guess you can say that those are his main kinks, especially primal play because he likes all the run and chase 🤔 breeding kink, not so much. He just likes the idea of marking her, literally or figuratively. I kid you not, I've thought about a smut where he's 'playing' hide and seek with her, and whoever wins gets to demand something from the other. Which is just an excuse for me to write animalistic sex where König holds her body down really tight

YES!!!!! THAT'S LITERALLY THEM 😭😭😭 like, what's up with the dynamic of a dog and its chew toy. They..........

[strangestofthings12]

Okay this is going to be a very rambling post because I’m tired and can’t sleep until I yell about this a little so here I am to vent on a throw away account😅

Scott McCall is a character that I don’t always love and I’m not going to lie and pretend like he is my favorite anything because he’s not. Everyone who I’ve talked about teen wolf with can tell you I have my issues with him and honestly with the writing of the show in general. BUT I will never understand the hate for him. I’ve been thinking about it because I was doom scrolling TikTok for a bit before I had to go to work and came across a video talking about how horrible Scott is and the thing is that they literally made zero valid points (to me at least. I am aware I am bias and I have a bad habit of doubling down on liking a character if I think someone is being unfair or anything so I don’t know). One of her points was literally that Scott “uses Derek as a weapon after dosing him with kanima (I can’t spell don’t tell me if that’s wrong I’ll cry😌) venom” which…… doesn’t happen?? I just rewatched the show recently and I’ll admit I don’t really like season 2 and I have issues with quite a bit of it but Gerard is trying ti play Scott because he has something over him. Allison. Derek would(probably) never bite Gerard willingly and Gerard knows this. But he thinks he can outplay and force Scott in a position where he has to choose between Allison and him being a werewolf. Derek is already paralyzed when Scott is put in this position. This would’ve happened no matter what. Scott just outsmarted Gerard because he and Deaton had a plan. One that Scott doesn’t really tell anyone. We as an audience don’t even know so why would Scott tell DEREK?!? Derek who has done anything to earn his trust they are ally’s and that is it. They aren’t friends (yet?) (I don’t know Derek is weird😭). I don’t know if any of this makes sense but what can you do. I can and probably will talk about it more but I am running in like three or four hours of sleep in like the past two days and I’m sick so this is just to help my brain shut up I doubt anyone is reading anyways😅

Now another thing is she said that Scott letting Deucalion live was irresponsible. One he is a teenager…… two Scott beloved in second chances. Oh no😭 he’s such a bad person because he doesn’t think people and irredeemable and deserve to die😭😭 I have never seen people say stuff like that for superhero’s who do that same thing unless they are people who think the punisher is a role model. Now I’m sure people have but from what I’ve seen it doesn’t really happen and we literally see Deucalion being better!!! Like??? Also she said that Theo deserves to die and I’m not going to turn this into a Theo post but how are you going ti get mad at someone being used as a weapon (I still think that dumb but can at least kinda see where she’s coming from) then say that the kid who has been manipulated and twist into the worst version of himself so that he can be a weapon deserves to be dead. Mind you Scott literally isn’t the reason Theo isn’t still in the Skin-walker prison?? Like Scott immediately wants to send him back?? Liam is the one who keeps him out because he is in love thinks Theo will be useful

Last thing (for now) is People who say the Acott is a horrible friend to Stiles. I don’t get it. At all. Like I am convinced we watched a different show?? ESPECIALLY IF THEY MENTION SCOTT NOT TAKING STILES SIDE WHEN HE FOUND OUT THE STILES KILLED DONOVAN. Nobody was actually communicating in that scene which was Theo’s whole plan(I’m sorry Theo baby I love you but I will always throw you under the bus with this😔 I have to. It is literally entirety your fault) Scott was never going to be okay with what Theo told him Stiles did. Theo used the guilt and fear that stiles was feeling to get in his head. Stiles was scared because he just fucking killed someone. He didn’t know what to do. Scott literally apologized after he found out the truth and made sure stiles knew he still loved him. I don’t get why so many people seem to think that Scott being manipulated means he’s a bad friend?? Like he and stiles werent seeing eye to eye about Theo from the moment they saw him because Scott is to trusting and Stiles to distrustful but Scott is listening and literally on stiles side UNTIL Theo gets in Scotts head. Theo wanted to drive everyone away from Scoot and turn them against him so he used Scott’s weakness. Wanting to trust and see the good in people and then he made Stlies, one of the only people who would always be by Scott (and vice versa), into a gray area when everything was already scary and new and just not going well. WHICH IS LITERALLY THE PLAN??

Anyways this is way to long and if you read this all I’m sorry and thank you?? I need ti go to sleep. Hopefully I can🙄

[willowser]

Anyways 😒 ignoring those nasty ass hate anons, wanted to give you an ask of creative liberty and ask of you to drop your fave bakugo headcanons that you have personally <3

i have been THINKING ABOUT THIS EVERYDAY since i got it 😌🩷✨️ tysm for giving me the opportunity to blab he he he akfbfjskak

despite his stupid perfect handsome dumb face, i think he has a bad habit of biting at his lips !! and that they're a little bit chapped !!! he's probably always losing his chapstick and it pisses him off to have to buy more LOL

i think he's a really mechanical person, like he could tear apart anything and put it back together. i spoke about this once, but i like to think masaru is a car guy and they spent a lot of time in the garage when katsuki was growing up, so that's where he gets his interest in knowing how his grenades work and how to build them himself and stuff

and grr i am thinking of such a good post that @vampyrsm made about him and his muscle tone and figure that I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING AND SEARCHING FOR AND CANNOT FIND but !!! i love that post SO MUCH bc i so agree !! i think if anything, he has a harder time keeping weight on, bc i imagine he must burn through so much using his quirk so this man is probably eating ALL THE TIME like A LOT. probably as much as kirishima even though he'll never be as big. he must be HUNGRY all the time, i think. i imagine his arms and shoulders are very nice 😌 bc of his quirk 😌 but i don't think he's got like. rock-solid, washboard 8-pack all the time. i also think he's very flexible !!

he's probably the WORST person to watch movies with LOL especially thrillers, which i think he likes, because he's always trying to figure out the end before it happens 😒 because he's annoying 😒 not that i think he's necessarily making a point to spoil it for you, but i think he does it in really small ways, like hums or sucks his teeth or shakes his head 😒 and you're like 😒 what. what do you have to say now 😒 LOL

also !!! 100% agree with shay !!! that he's a funky sleeper !!! i think he's always got his head thrown back, mouth wide open, in a position that is going to make him ache in the morning. DOES NOT wake up in the position he fell asleep in LOL can fall asleep almost anywhere, but i think that's due to his job. and every time you wake him up, no matter how easy you try to do it, he's trying to sit up at attention right away like "what? what did you say?" eyes aren't even open and he's trying to will his body to be wide awake lol like CALM DOWN BUDDY YOU'RE JUST HANGING OFF THE EDGE

also i think he's ticklish 😌 hates it, won't admit it 😌 but right at his ribs, he gets squirmy 😌 not necessarily in his thighs, but if you try to grab him or squeeze him there, he's tensing up and jumping away from you lol all "watch it!"

oh, oh !! and i just spoke about this the other day also, but i imagine kirishima and deku as very hairy dudes LOL that have no problem growing decent beards, and i think bakugou goes through this terrible phase of trying to grow one and just. can't LOL can grow a cute little mustache like his dad but that's as far as that is going POOR THING

omg this was so fun !!! tysm for asking me 🥺🥺🥺 i really enjoyed thinking of all of these 😌😌😌 i'd love to know your favorite bakugou headcanons !!! 😌🩷✨️🦋🍓

[mo-ok]

top 5 blues

OH BOY

5. Souta Boukenger. THE best flirty boy (best flirty girl goes to Houka magiranger) THE most overt "oh no, he's bisexual!" moment. Ring accessory king.

4. Gouki Gingaman. Precious sopping wet gorilla man. love rivals with red racer. was so good they left a clip of him in power rangers.

3. Ozora Changeman. Horsie my horsie. Big dumb boy just wants to get rich quick and open a restaurant and i love that for him. One head injury away from early retirement.

2. SAMAJIMA KINYA VUL SHARK. Hates violence (because he watched his whole family die) but must commit violence anyway. the show does NOT explore this dichotomy but that doesnt stop my brain from doing it for them 😌😌😌. he's soft and he's quiet and he's pretty i dont know what else you could ever need from him

1. RENN GO ONGER. BEST BLUE BOY TO EVER DO IT. LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

bonus runner up Kotaro because i love him and the things they did to him were UNFAIR

i am also very fond of the frenchman

[thatguywasvaping]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

i don't know who else to tag honestly but thank youuu @wisteria-wisteria for tagging me 😉

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i've been wanting to tell this story to someone cuz i think it's so dumb

so well, my dad and my cousins are HUGE f1 fans they always talk about it on the family gc. it was the mexico 2023 gp (we're mexican btw and just like every single men in mexico they love checo) and we all know what happened to checo in that race so they were fuming and honestly i was enjoying it and all the memes on twt

anyway i never really cared about the sport, to me it was just men going vroom vroom in circles for an hour but then the brazil gp came

we were in my grandparents house, i was in the living room and they were watching the race obviously, it was just about to start and then something magical happened that changed my whole life... charles leclerc crashes on the formation lap and i thought omg who's this dumbass 🙄 but then i heard his voice with that sadness you only hear in eastern european gay porn saying "why the fuck am i so unlucky?", i was like damn he's so me, my dad was asking me to traduce what he was saying, i had no context of everything that happened on the season but i could just think damn is this not the first time that it has happened to him? poor bro

then i saw him get lost in the motherfucking woods and i was crying laughing at this point wondering who the hell is this guy?

i made a mental note to search his name on twt later, anyway the race went on and i was actually getting invested in it, i remember my cousins had to leave but they were all i want to see checo pass hamilton bla bla bla and i had no idea who hamilton was but i wanted to see it too it was so exciting. when i got back home i went into a charles leclerc rabbit hole in twt and tumblr and tiktok, then i learned more about all the other drivers and as someone who was lacking content of my man finn wolfhard i was getting bored and seeing this guys being a chaotic mess and getting content of them every weekend i was like fuck it they're my new blorbos especially charles❤️

and now here i am :) the end.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

i am a charles leclerc girlie and i will always be he's my sunshine i will fight anyone who dares to say something bad about him, i just love him so much he's so determinated and passionate i am so sure he will achieve his dream but he's also very kind, charming, funny. his history is also so amazing to me, his mental strenght is unbelievable and has motivated me to keep going no matter what, he's very dear to me, i admire him so much and i don't think it will ever change because he amazes me more and more everytime.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

charlieeee obvi but i've also been very obsessed with max lately they are fighting for p1 in my favorite drivers championship every single day hahahah

maxie poo i love you babygirl 😘

ok but now seriously MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU ARE A FUCKING LEGEND AND DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD he means a lot to me now too

i love lando and oscar also i hope they achieve amazing things with mclaren they have so much talent and potential i know they will be great

and ofc mi gente latino 🇲🇽✊ checo pérez you are my dad and i support you no matter what also he's so unintentionally funny as max said i'll just call him lovely 😌

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

LESTAPPEN MY GOD when i tell you that i think about them every day i'm not joking at all

my roman empire as the tiktok kids would say

i just love them for the same reasons everyone else does they have been racing against each other for most of their lives and of course they've had their rough patches but they respect each other and love racing together, they push the limits and will do everything to win but they always keep that mutual respect and admiration

i got into them with the inchident video it's just hilarious max being all mad like no it's so unfair 🙄 and charlie being like just an inchident 😘 I CAN'T THEY'RE SO ICONIC LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESTAPPEN we love emotional support rivals

also shoutout carlando, maxiel, charlos, chestappen, landoscar they are so funny love seeing them do stupid shit but also have each others back

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

my dad will die for red bull especially for checo, i don't really know my cousins favorite drivers but they like ferrari and one of them has a charles leclerc cap and a valtteri bottas one so i think them

i'm kind of a closeted f1 fan lmao because most of my life i've been like it's so boring just them going in circles but now i'm obsessed but also if i say i like it now they would be like you just like it because the drivers are good looking

and i mean YEAH but fuck just let me enjoy it and it's also my first season i'm still learning give me a break bruh

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

like i said this is my first season and i started pretty late but they first race i ever watched from start to finish was ✨las vegas 2023✨ and as a charles fan i will never forget that last lap where i was mourning p2 already and all like well let's hope for the best on the next race😔 when all of a sudden i see this mf overtaking checo, it was 1am and when i tell you i JUMPED from the couch and started screaming and jumping around, genuinely i will never forget it

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

i don't really know about each circuit that much but i like monaco

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

naaahh they're expensive af maybeee one day i'll go to the gp in mexico city but in a very distant future

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

i see checo's face in every corner in my city does that count?

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i like the mercedes' cars just for the mere reason that they look cool to me and since i don't know all the technical stuff i think i could give you a pepper answer once i learn more

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really ✌️

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

when max said "i always thought that if i would make it to F1, charles will also make it"

what can i say i love my babygirls

[girlbossgoodgirl]

Intro post!

Definitely to be edited later, but here's what I've got for now :

Hi there cuties!! Here's a quick run down before I get into the details 🥰 I'm a feral fr33 use goblin, am the slave to @geeky-goblin , live a blended lifestyle TPE dynamic, all my feral posting is 100% the unadulterated things that run thru my icky icky head, and NOTHING pleases me more than making ppl h0rny 🥵 my body is for ur pleasure, but call me a good girl while you us3 me plz n ty! Just cus I'm fr33 use slvt does NOT mean I am disposable like garbage, I am limited edition tyvm 😤

Name: haha wouldn't you like to know! MJ works if you absolutely must! I also have boundaries with my time, I work VERY hard a lot of the time on a LOT of highly important things, and respond when I can, and not a moment before. Wanna change my mind and become a higher priority? Prove it, show me how much I should prioritize you 😜😘

Age: 29, on the cusp of celebrating the death of my youth, and the entrance into my MILF phase 😌

L/S: English, also am fluent in dumb bitch! NB, but like... In the way that pile of stuffies has no gender, but still turns into a scawie monster at night in the corner of your eyes 🫣💕

Likes: I love art, and cute things, and being called a good girl! I'm a MASSIVE praise slut, and I'm the absolute goodest girl to people who tell me how precious I am after taking it so good 🥺 big into kink, CNC, freeuse, bimbofication, I'm a Middle, I love lace and fun textures and lights, rainbow lights get me 💦🥵 I love gifts and head pats, and clothes and make up and pretty girls and femmes! I'm a c0ck addicted nymph0, but also a huge pleasure queen. GFD is my religion 😩🤌

Dislikes: people who are mean for no reason, f33ders/f33derism, sc4t and bl00d play, ABDL stuff, extreme l1ttle space, pain with no pleasure stuff, too much degradation because I WILL ugly cry and NEITHER of us will have fun then. I do have mommy issues, but the kind that mean I have a hard time with femmes who are too much older than me. Also ROUGH an4l play, I have chronic health issues and would like to preserve that hole so it can actually be enjoyable past 5 years from now 😂😭

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. I will not interact with blogs with no age, and will start blocking accounts that persist in trying. 18+ ONLY, this is a fantasy blog! If you don't like what you see, please just block me!

Anyways, there's the gist! I hope you like what you see, and get really h4rd, w3t, or very sl0ppy from my content! My DMs are ALWAYS open, especially to cute femmes and thems!

💕🥺👉👈

[youremyheaven]

I know that ketuvians are considered arrogant because they seem to separate themselves from the masses but as a ketuvian girl well more nodal (rahu conjunct my ascendant lord):

I became so distant because of always feeling excluded since I was a little child. My extended family would be hostile towards me because my parents did "well in life" despite coming from a very empoverished background. People would create rumors simply to hurt me and my own mother would be on their side because she thought that I had a "mean look in the eyes"💀

Since she is a libra (chitra)sun woman, she used to put others opinions on a pedestal and coerced me into molding my personality for people to like me. She would so disgusted at people for being true to themselves and couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that some people were strong enough to do that, so she say that I was dumb, ridiculous anyways I think she was jealous 😗 because she is a very insecure woman.

So growing up I was never able to sustain friendships because my personality was fake therefore I attracted people that did not truly corresponded me. I always felt so lonely in groups once I would try to be myself , it felt like they were annoyed by me. And because I know that people get tired of me easily, I'm just able to know when things get really superficial and I can't try anymore.

If I try to be myself they would get tired of me and reject me for being cold, weird, aloof. And all I did was to stop acting sassy and making people laugh 😃

It is so disheartening because sometimes it really feel like I found my people for life, they would rapidly get so attached to me, always wanting to stay around me and one day it is just over because I failed to make them laugh 🙃🤪They would ask me : " Why did you change ?" "I don't recognize you ". It really was hurtful for me because as much as I liked to play this exciting character, I am a more calm et discret person too and I feel like I can't express this side of myself. Otherwise I am a mean bitch who act superior because of my rbf. Anyways that was my rant for the day, I really wanted to express my struggle as being influence by both rahu and ketu. I feel like I have to learn to be true to me in this lifetime and accept rejection even if it hurts like a bitch when you feel like no one gaf about you. So I separate myself from people because of I always feel rejected anyways even if you can't see it on my face , and I just can't try to have superficial friendships anymore I'm sorry 🥴

On a positive note, I'm so glad I found your blog, you have so much insight and you seems very wise in very cool way , your personality is just radiant 💫

Omg bbg 🥺 I hope you weren't offended by me saying Ketuvians are arrogant. I think there can be many different reasons as to why someone would want/have to be detached from a crowd and I wasn't trying to say that absolutely all Ketuvians are full of themselves (some are but this goes for every planet 😂).

I really feel you with how you described growing up and even your struggles with superficial friendships 🫂🥺

I think one of my biggest challenges in life has been with regard to "being myself". My entire personality changes with regard to who I'm around and I never feel like anybody really sees me as I am lmao. It used to make me upset because I was like ??? I'm only this way with you because you're this sort of person and I'm adjusting myself accordingly 😭 none of this is innate to me??? There are people who only know me as quiet, reserved or soft spoken and think of me as a goody two shoes and then there are others who think I'm a wild freaky bimbo 😭 and manyyy other iterations as well and I'm like ??? whomst will decipher the full spectrum of my being??? 😩😩😩 I'm not one or another, I'm just everything 😩🤡😌

As you said, it felt like I was playing a character when I was younger and like you, I reaalllyyy struggled once I just decided to stop acting and be myself 🥲

But I'm glad that we're both done with superficial friendships 😎😜🤠 hopefully we'll both make genuinely meaningful friendships with people who see and understand us for who we are ✨

Tysm for saying that 🥺 that's such a meaningful compliment 🥺✨ I hope the rest of this week is wonderful for you 💛

[taub-truther]

hi i am sub taub hcer and i agree so much with dom taub hcer and with your dom taub opinions

i also think taub has at LEAST one kink/fetish that he is SUPER ashamed of and you will have to torture it out of him to find out what it is (or be House. cuz observant. or Chase imo, cuz freaks recognize freaks. come to think of it, freaks recognize freaks goes for house, too). but it's probably not even that out there? like on par with chase's Thing for high heels and leather gloves. not really very scandalous.

this goes for dom taub and sub taub both

and there was peace and unity on planet earth 😌💖

I love your mind anon!! I'm willing to bet the show writers had their own ideas about this just built into the character because Taub always acts so weirdly repressed... and yet cannot put his dick away for the life of him??! There's some deep need he is desperately trying to fulfill and just can't seem to.

And the sad thing is, as you say, it's really not weird or anything! He's just so used to being ashamed that he'd rather die than admit to it.

Lmao wait!! what if his kink was mommy play and/or getting the absolute bejeezus spanked out of him and THAT'S why he acts so weird and awkward with that stripper trying to give him a lap dance?? When he asks if she's a mom (🤦) and she tries to turn it sexy like "want me to be your mommy and spank your ass?" and then he's just like "OH LOOK YOU HAVE A WEIRD MOLE I AM A PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR DOING HIS JOB" and gets thrown out of the club?? But he can't help himself he has to hang around to "check her mole" (🤦🤦🤦) and almost gets his dumb ass shot for the trouble?? That whole thing where his brain apparently left his body and he became the stupidest man on earth?? Like he got so wigged out he almost got killed in a strip club parking lot instead of just saying "yes mommy" like a normal freak??

I'd bet money on that being his kink! oh my god TAUB you pitiful loser do you know how easy it would be to get any of your girlfriends (or even *gasp* your wife) to spank your cute little ass for you? I'll do it for free!

(And if it's dom!Taub well let's just say he could be my mommy any day)