#because i FCING said so. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cowardlylearningtobebrave · 4 years ago

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listen

i don’t follow you, you don’t follow me, you are totally free to block me, i frankly do not care (i only found your post bc tumbler.com sucks at censoring tags, sorry about that i guess)

i would like to preface this with saying that overall? i think i generally agree with what you are trying to say - i understand you might feel angry that while he got cleared no one cares anymore and a lot of people will still remember the rumor years down the line,, i do not however like the way you worded your post neither do i agree with quite a lot of the points you made so here i go being a “meanie” (once again, feel free to block me)

firstly, i would like to very calmly ask you - how in your right mind can you group together weed consumption and sexual harassment accusations? how can you sit in front of your computer and actually think to yourself “yes, [idol name] leaving a group bc they are accused of smoking weed (which is illegal by korean law, yes, but in reality it’s total bullshit) is totally on the same level as [woojin] possibly sexually harassing a girl and i do not understand why ppl didn’t immediately stand by a possible sexual abuser while they fought for someone smoking weed”????????? literally, what the fuck is wrong with you. it does not matter whether the accusation turned out to be true or false, ikon and monsta x fans fought for them bc this whole weed shit is fcking crazy and nonsensical in the first place and you do not need to spend even five seconds on questioning whether they deserve to be "cancelled” (they don’t if i wasn’t clear enough). if you do not think so, well, you might be a part of the problem then. sexual harassment however? yes, i will actually believe the victim until proven otherwise, thank you very much. there are so many more cases of victims being silenced and abusers being freed than accusations being fake and i would much rather believe a liar then an abuser sooooo,,,, do with this what you want, honestly.

i will not speak on the bullying thing, it was just plain bullshit and the people who actually believed it couldn’t have been fans in the first place, period.

yes, some ppl took it too far by actually sending hate, that is never an answer, i would never excuse that.

what i absolutely hate about your post though, and why i even bother replying and not hiding it in the tags, is this:

1) some ppl get triggered by certain things and you have no right saying it’s stupid and/or fake. that’s like saying others cannot hurt because you personally don’t. do you understand how triggering this whole situation must have been to (let’s say, for example) ppl who actually had personal experience with sexual harassment and woojin was someone they believed in and loved? or others who are just generally very sensitive when it comes to this topic for other various reasons? how the whole situation must have made them feel? it does not matter if it turned out to be a false rumor in the end, while it was happening it was severely harmful and blocking or censuring his name was the best solution to that. (sorry if me trying to avoid getting hurt “affected” my knowledge of other woojins out there uwu)

2) what the fuck do felix and chan have to do with this??? please fcing enlighten me, bc i truly do not remember them ever EVER saying anything against him that would insinuate they want us to hate him? chan on the contrary said multiple times not to send hate on his vlives; the only thing felix ever did that comes to mind was tag his insta posts as “8″.. which he has every right to do, since they are now, you know, an 8 member group?

it seems to me you are deliberately mixing two things together while talking about chan and felix and i am not sure if you are even aware of it yourself. what does him leaving the group and the boys showing their opinion on it, if it can even be called that, have to do with the rumors? we do not know why woojin left the group, we will most likely never know. you can think whatever you want as the reason, others will think something else. you do not know what happened between them. but once upon a time they promised to be 9 or none. chan made that group himself, he picked each member because he wanted them to be a part of the group with him. i am not saying woojin is necessarily the bad guy here but saying they aren’t allowed to be hurt or disappointed with him leaving is like saying they can’t have emotions. they are idols and their opinions are censured as is, if you think the 8 insta tag or the one small rant chan once had about being responsible for your actions is wrong of them, once again, you might be the reason their opinions get censured by the companies all the damn time, good job :).

i have been educated by my friend, i no longer think woojin is guilty of what he was accused of and once again i do not in any way or form condone sending hate threats even if he had been found guilty. however, personally, i will leave his tag blocked because while i now know he is innocent i do not appreciate the way he confronted and handled the situation. that was not (in my eyes at least) an attitude of someone who takes possible sexual abuse seriously and i do not want to support such person (even if, as many will say, he did not have proper pr company at that time) - that is just my own personal opinion though and if you do disagree with me on this, suit yourself.

you sure are allowed to have opinions and you are allowed to voice them. but by doing so you also have to take responsibility for your words. saying hurtful things about others is effectively just spreading more hate. i wish you stopped for a moment while writing your post and thought to yourself “am i trying to stand up for an idol i cherish or am i just angrily throwing hate around?”

idk how old you are and i do not wish to cause you any harm, even much less if you are a younger fan. but you are connecting the dots that will never make a whole picture while simultaneously doing the exact same thing you said in your own words is not right - accusing the wrong people

Hanbin was accused, Hanbin was cleared

Wonho was accused, Wonho was cleared

Woojin was accused. Woojin is cleared

Illhoon was accused. I believe Illhoon too will be cleared.

I can finally speak out on of the things that has been bothering me since the news broke out. At the time it was very scary and stressful as we were dealing with the wildfires in our state at the same time so I was already having a hard time. Woojin was my bias and I never believed he would do something like that. I know everyone says to believe the victim but innocent until proven guilty is still valid and victims lie, it happens often and we all know how fans and antis get sometimes, just like Wonho and Hanbin people will do anything to throw idols under the bus.

The scariest thing for me to see was how quick everyone was in defending Hanbin and Wonho and how quick the same people threw Woojin away, immediately spreading hate and sending death threat and calling him fake and all these names and just obnoxious behaiver. I understand we were all upset but you can’t just believe someone right away with no evidence and so many holes in their story. And sometimes it’s best to wait it out and then make a decision.

It wasn’t just Woojin that was caught up in the whirlwind, Jungwoo, Chanwoo, Hongjoong, Seonghwa and a few more that I can’t remember were also names thrown out from so many people. Their biggest thing was when they claimed he was a member from the big three, had a w and two o’s in his name. This is not a good statement because for one thing Woojin left Stray Kids and JYP so not only was he out of the big 3 but he’s not the only one with those letters in his name. Jungwoo and Chanwoo are also under the big three and have a w and two o’s in their names.

Back when it was so big on Twitter the Jungwoo tags were all stating that Woojin was innocent but the Stray Kids tags were saying he was guilty. Even the supposed person themselves posted one last tweet before delete the account stating it was all fake but no one took that screenshot so people were led to believe it was all fake

And then on the bullying, I’ve seen a lot of videos saying ‘this idol bullying this group’ or ‘this group bullying this member for 8 minutes’ and multiple videos being taken out of context and people claiming that since Woojin doesn’t speak a lot in some videos it’s proof he doesn’t get along and the member don’t like him. Y’all that’s not how things work. Just because you aren’t fully engaged in an activity or if you aren’t getting along doesn’t make you a bully or a bad person, Woojin was going through his own shit and idols lives are hard enough, if they feel out of it sometimes it’s not okay for us to immediately accuse them of such things like ‘they don’t like their members, they don’t get along, they are bullies.’

Idols live together and are around each other often so what you might see as “bullying” might just be them goofing off I mean ffs there is a video titled ‘ATEEZ bullying Seonghwa’ and y’all fine with that because they are only goofing around and teasing each other but you automatically assume from any footage or out of context video of Woojin playing with and teasing the members that he’s a bully. Why are you putting double standards on this? Bullying is a very serious accusation and rumors and spreading false information or any information with no evidence can ruin an idols careers. Tara and Co-Ed School unfortunately we’re big examples of this. The Tara bullying scandal ruined those girls and all the rumors and accusations caused Co-Ed School to disband before anyone could say everything was false. You have to be careful with what you say and what you hear and see cause if it’s not true and everyone believes it is you ruined a whole idols career before it can even be fixed.

Ok so, yes I know everyone says “the victim is always right” and it’s okay if you want to believe that but remember there are two sides to every story and both parties are valid until further evidence or actual evidence and you are able to prove whether or not something actually happened. I had some other things to say but I’ll let those slide and it doesn’t matter not because Woojin is innocent and it’s great news. I’m so relieved because he was my bias and I was so heartbroken when he left and when I heard about the trouble he was going through. I was so afraid to even say Woojin because everyone was censering it, acting like it was a bad name and that’s not fair on Woojin himself and it’s also not fair on the other idols named Woojin because there are at least 5 Woojins so for people to be doing that is like, you’re invalidating the other Woojin’s just because you think one Woojin is bad. Seeing people tag Woojin like w***** or w**jin and woojail and tw woojin is really upsetting and that’s not okay, that’s like bullying, calling him woojail is not okay at all. Pretending his name is a trigger when it’s not and if his name was a trigger than all the idols named Woojin would have that and censoring his name, again you’re invalidating all the other woojins. And everyone that says “ot8 or get the fuck out” or “if you still support Woojin fuck off” like..he’s literally fucking innocent. It was a bunch of Brazilian antis that started all the lies and rumors and after all the stories that don’t make sense and people still think he’s guilty and they are still sending him hate and being absolute assholes towards him. If you don’t want to believe that he’s innocent, if you don’t want to like him fine. Don’t talk about him don’t make a bunch of woojail posts, don’t send him hate or death threats because you’re 1. Making things worse and 2. Care enough about him to make his life miserable which is exactly what antis do and what those antis did. It pisses me off and upsets me how fast everyone just turned on him and they continue to bully him and send him unnecessary hate. Also it’s ok to tag Stray kids and Woojin because he was a member of Stray Kids so don’t give people shit for tagging Stray Kids.

So I’m gonna end this posts educating y’all about the multiple Woojins and it’s okay to say and spell Woojin you guys. It’s alright, you won’t get in trouble. So Woojin, my boy who I miss so so much Kim Woojin who was in Stray Kids, there’s my Thot Woojin from Target, an amazing rapper btw, I do believe there is a Woojin in AB6IX and of course there is the hot Woojin from My.st who just has this whole vibe to him that is dead sexy. Also the Woojin from Teenteen/Ghost9 and also also your gurl found a sexy man, despite me not being into body builders, I found a man on Insta named Kim Woojin and he is definitely a fucking snaCC. So thanks and enjoy the Woojins. I can get back to making my memes again. I’m just sad that I believed and jumped to conclusions and deleted some Woojin posts. But I stopped myself before I deleted all of them

ALSO ALSO recently it’s been pointed out how did Woojin has been and someone described it as what Jonghyun looked like before he left us. Woojin is my boy and I’ve been worrying about him ever since he left Stray Kids and I swear on god Hui and my camera roll if he hurts himself in any way or we lose another wonderful person I will blame Bangchan. I will blame Felix, I will blame JYP and I will blame everyone that started the rumors, the lies, the people that sent Woojin mean messages, death threats, bullying him because you don’t need to like an idol no matter what they do but bullying them and sending unnecessary hate to them is not ok no matter what they did. Even if it’s bad just ignore it because you sending them mean comments doesn’t make you any better. I was already pissed off at fans and everyone else and Bangchan and Felix for all the mean comments and everything else they were doing and I’ll be even more pissed off if this whole situation was too much for him on top of his depression and he ended his life.

Ok you know what, I’m so fucking pissed off over these posts I’m seeing on tumblr and I’m upset and I’m still having thoughts on whether or not I should post this but you know what. I don’t care. It’s my blog, it’s my opinion and it’s my feelings that I need to get off my chest. Kim Woojin is innocent and if I get any hate of any kind my stomach will do flips but y’all should know better especially if you don’t agree with me so have fun I guess I’ll probably delete or block you so I don’t have to hear your meany-ness. It’s my opinion, my post and my blog and if you don’t like it then I have nothing to say to you.

#long post

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bluegenie3 · 8 years ago

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Remember me.

You had been lying in bed for more than 4 hours now, the uncomfortable chills getting through despite the large blankets wrapped around you. Your boyfriend J-hope had been informed by the members that you laid ill on your bedroom, unable to move due to fatigue. J-hope had a schedule a fair way, away from your home so V had visited you to make sure you had taken the proper medicine and the had water and food to eat. He soon left though, because of the hwarang filming so now you are left by yourself in the house, wrapped tightly in a hundred blankets V had made sure you had. You were instructed to sleep, but your mind was restless. J-hope, despite knowing your condition has failed to contact you and to say the least you felt abandoned. He would usually call you in an instant but lately due to his busy schedules you could barely talk to him for more than 10 minutes, despite living in the same place.

The eerie house was deafening, and all efforts to shut your eyes was futile, so instead you head to the living room, to watch the music show in hopes to see J-hope in action. You peeled yourself from the many blankets and immediately stood up from the bed. This was the worst decision you could’ve made given your situation.The sudden rush of movement caused your vision suddenly blurred, shaking your head to get rid of the head rush your body began to shift back and forth without your knowledge, this had caused you too lose balance. You began to fall forwards towards the wooden dresser beside you and unable to block the impact your head hit the corner of the dresser, until everything went black.

You woke up with a throbbing head, and blood staining the carpet. Darkness and silence draped around the house. You had tried to move, but the pain was unlike any. Like multiple knives embedded in a single place on you head. you shifted you body, slowly in an effort to lie on you back and away from the blood, which seemed a large majority of the carpet beneath the dresser. You heard a door, click but you eyes began to shut, a weight present upon them.

“Y/N I’m home.” You hear J-hope’s voice echo, the sound as silky and smooth to the ear as it was when you first met him.

“..h..ere.” Your voice cracked in the attempt to get his attention.

The bedroom door opened immediately and you saw J-hope face ridden with panic. He took large, strides to get to you lifting your neck to abruptly.

“ argh” you screamed, but only a croaked voice came.

“Y/N What happened?!” his voice laced with worry.

Your vision began to blur once again and your eyelids weighted down by an unknwon force, until suddenly the darkness consumes you and his voice slowly turns into a faint sound amidst the darkness.

—–

The darkness seemed comforting, and endless abyss cradling you away from all the pain and worry your suffered. But slowly the darkness began to change in a mutitude of colors, the sound of music painting pastel colors on the walls ending into nothing. It wasnt until the music had turned into a voice, did the pastel colors shifted, moving into and away from each other. You watched the colours play as the voice began to bring you back into darkness and a soft pressure in your hand bringing you to reality. You lifted your eyes, slowly in an effort to past the blinding lights that seemed to illuminate from above you. You shuffled in the bed, the pressure on your thigh you did not know was there, lifting. Your vision began to discern the worried look of a man, eyes reddened, hands holding yours.

‘Hi…’ You say, your voice hoarsed. You furrowed your eyebrows, concerned for your safety, because the man’s hand rested on your thigh.

‘Hey..wait let me get you some water’ the man stood from his place beside you and quickly walked to the table on the foot of your bed. He quickly got back to your side lifting the cup to your mouth, slowly letting the water touch your lips.The water was inexplicably quenching. The coolness drifting down your throat to you stomach, felt like a cool burn in your body. You tried to look at him in the small space above the rim of the cup. The man had appeared untidy, his jacket wrinkled and strewn around his body and his hair dishivelled. He lowered the cup from your lips and placed it neatly on the table beside you, giving a small sigh of relief before he made his way to the door, and called for a nurse then returning back to the seat he occupied. He stretched his hand out to grab yours , when you suddenly avoided it, placing it closer to your body.

His eyes immediately widenedd and the shocked look on his face showed how pained he was by the small action. He was about to speak when a doctor followed by a nurse walked in, quickly checking the small machine on your right and the clipboard tucked on the foot of my bed.

“Ms. Y/L/N , how are you feeling” The doctor asked, his eyes never leaving the board he held in his hands.

“ O..k I guess” you hesitated, looking at the man seated beside you.

“ Alright, do you feel dizzy at all? nauseated?” He tucked the board between his arm and his torso and grabbed a flash light from his pocket, swaying the light in front of eyes, the light causing your eyes to water.

“ uhhhmm, No. Umm..Can someone please call my Parents, im sure they’d be worried Im not home” you said, in an effort to bring your body upright.

“Y/N..”the man spoke, his voice coated with the bitter sound of concern.

“ What year is it?” looking immediately at the doctor.

“ whats that got to do with anything?!” Infuriated by the sudden question.

“ Please Y/N if you could, give us the year” the doctor said, his hand delicately placed in his coat pocket.

“ Its 2013″ you answered.

The mans hand immediately shot up to his mouth, covering the bottom of his face. He began stroking his face, in the space between his mouth and ear until he covered his face entirely with both his hands. His action began to set you on edge, panic beginning to set in.

“ Why? Whats going on??” you pleaded, voice cracking.

“ Y/N its 2017.” the mans voice muffled beneath his hands.

—–

Once the doctor had left, silence encased the room. Your throat burned from the unshed tears waiting to be released. You focused your eyes on the little area just on the other side of the room, with a photo of a group, faces to small to discern in the distance. The doctor had told you everything that had happened. You’d been in a coma for 5 days, from a home accident, telling you it is now 2017 and that he would be back with a neuro surgeon in an hour to check up on you again. At least that was all you could comprehend from the shock.

You began to question everything, how it came to be that you were laid in a hospital bed with an ache on your head with 4 years of memories gone in the abysse. It was like the darkness you dreamt of, but this time it gave grief and pain, instead of its comfort. It led you deeper into darkness grasping you in your extremities, until even your own body couldnt be discerned from the nothingness. 4years, 208 weeks, 1460 days, all gone in blink of an eye. it felt like a peice of you had disappered, a piece most important in completing the complicated image of life.

“Y/N?” A voice brough you back to reality, your head quickly moved to the sound of the voice, to find the man seated on the chair. His eyes reddened, the rawness of the pain you had unknowingly comitted present in the unspoken air.

“Who are you?” You asked, half afraid of the answer. As those word escaped your lips, you dreaded the answer. You dreaded not knowing who this man was and their importance in your life. You dreaded seeing his beautiful feautures and not knowing their impact in your life.

“ Y/N, Im Hoseok. Im your Fiance ” the words resonated in the room, like an echo, that kept getting louder and louder. The man you were so afraid to touch, was the man you wanted to spend every waking moment of your life with. The man you no longer remember. He grabbed your hand, placing it on his cheek. The heat of his skin, contrasted the coolness of his hand on the back of yours. He looked at you, with a pained expression, a sad smile on his face.

“Y/N its me. Tell me you remember me. Please..” he refused to look away, even as his lips trembled and his body heaved with emotion. His dark lashes brimmed with unshed tears, he looked on, afraid that in the moment he lets you go and looks away he will lose you like you have lost yourself.

You shook your head, apologetic that you could not give him the answer he longed for, you mouthed the words Im sorry because you had forgotten how much you loved him and his love for you. He loosened his grasp on your hand and let it fall on the bed, he eased in to his seat, looking a drift, looking away from you. You could see it. The pain you had caused irrevocably altered your lives.

—–

You had woken out to hush murmurs by the room. You had slowly fluttered your eyes open, catching the shadows above your room, caused by the curtains. You sat upright, and saw Hoseoks back fcing towards you, as his head popped outside the room.

“Hoseok?” You said, catching his attention. He immediately looked towards you, and allowed 6 boys enter the room. Some had glasses covering their eyes and othes had face mask, covering the bottom half of their face. My hand immediatelt shot up to grab the emergency button, thumb at the ready to press it.

“ Who are you?” You said, holding the button high enough fro them to see what it was.

One of them raised his hand up in surrender taking of his mask.

“ Y/N Yahh, its Namjoonie” He said tucking his mask into his pocket. Everyone followed suit taking of the peices that covered their faces.

“ Put the button down, its Yoongi hyung” The paled face boy said.

i began lowering the button, but never letting go.

“ NOONNAAA!” A boys yelled, a boxy smile present on his lips.

“ it Tae” he continued. A small boy hit him in the stomach almost immediately and smiled from ear to ear, his eyes dissapearing in his smile.

“ Noona, Im Jimin” the small boy said.

A well built man stepped up, and waved simply.

“ Do you remember me? Noona Its Jungkook” he smiled, but you could see his pained expression.

“Y/N how are you? Here I brough you your favorite soup.” A tall man emerged from the crowd of boys, and handing Hoseok a bag.

“ Thanks Jin hyung” Hoseok walked over to the table, placing the bag down on the table just on the the foot of your bed. You waited for Hoseok, to introduce who they were, eyes apologotic that you couldnt remember who they were.

“Y/N, This is our friends. The my..” He hesitated for a few second, looking for a word to ease you into a world that you had forgotten. The world he once told you about, the world he cherished just as much as he loved you.

“ They’re my members. Y/N I’m J-hope of BTS” Hoseok was afraid, the ringing of those words felt like de ja vu, he felt it all happen again. He was afraid this time that you would walk away, instead of staying beside him, for 3 more years.

A small hello and a faint bow was all that you could muster in the moment. You didnt know who they were, but they acted as if you had been firends for centuries. Unfortunately for them, to you they were strangers, they were the same as a person walking down the street. You had no connection to them, to feeling of friendship, no memories that stirred in their presence.

The room fell silent, like it had so many times since you had woken up. You didnt know what to say, and Hoseok stood there, looking on to the boys, who stood in front of you not uttering a word.

“ Well, we should go and let Y/N rest, she must be tired” Jin patted Jungkook on the back, ushering the rest out through the door.

“ uhh, yeah” Hoseok followed them, seeing them out of the room.

—–

He came back and took the soup from the bag, microwaving it in the small kitchen just on the other side of the bed.

He walked over to you placing a small table just on your lap and giving you the soup he had heated.

“ Thank you” You stirred the soup, letting the steam escape the liquid. A though had entered your mind. For almost a week now, Hoseok had been by yourside, accompanying you, nursing you to help, all the while your unknowingly hurting him in your lack of memories. He stayed hoping that small fragments would bring you back to his arms again, yet you kept disappointing him in every way you never knew you could hurt a person. And for a moment it felt great to be loved and wanted, but it hurted the person you were supposed to love. How do you love someone you dont even remember? the answer wasnt easy, but difficult things have a habit of becoming great memories. All you needed to do was leap.

“ Hoseok..” you looked to the soup, how it had been left untouched for 5 minutes, but in your head felt like hours.

“ yeah?” he turned around from the kitchen area, his eyes were drapped with a heavy tinge of blue and black, a representation of his lack of sleep. The more you looked at him, the more you find the physical aspects you mustve found attractive in him, but you didnt want to get his hopes up. You didnt want him be broken hearted once he find out how high of a chance it is that you would never get your memory back. You looked at him quitely, finally noticing you had not breathed in a while, and when you let all the air trapped in you lungs go, it sounded like a sigh.

“You need to move on” you slowly looked up from the soup and at him, you faked a smile because a brave front was what you were taught to do in such situations, even if your vision began to blur from the tears forming in your eyes.

“huh?” soft tear began covering his darkened lashes, and began cascading down his redened cheek.

“ Y/N what are you talking about” he took long strides towards you, quickly grabbing your dainty hand with his, and for a moment you felt the heat of his skin against yours. That heats that seemed to resonated throughout your body, encasing you in its euphrinc feeling. A touch as simple as his, was enough to heal you, or so you think.

“ Hoseok, Im not getting my memory back. I dont want tot hold you down. I need you to go. Please, I need this to heal. You do too.” Your voice was cracking, because the thought of leaving this fragile boy that is holding your hand like a lifeline, felt like a knofe to both your hearts. but that was all you could do in your situation.

Hoseok held you hand tighly, drawing it near his gentle face, as he sobbed loudly. You drew your gaze away from him, trying to brave the storm that had come into your room that morning. You swallowed the stone of tears, that have been wanting to release itself from your eyes, and bit your lips until the metalic taste of blood centered you back. Slowly, as the sun had risen his sobs began to grew quite. He finally let go your hands, letting it fall beside you in the hospital bed and without looking at you he stood up and spoke as gently as he did when you woke up, his hair covering his reddened eyes.

“ Im sorry, Y/N I couldnt be there. when you needed me most. Im sorry for walking away now when you need me most. Im sorry, that despite profesing my love to you, im walking away. Most of all I’m sorry, I love you with everything I have but im putting my carreer first before you. I love you”

With heavy steps, Hoseok walked out of the door, leaving you as you asked. You finally let the tears fall freely on your cheeks, word coming out from deep within you.

“ Jung Hoseok”

—–

Hello everybody! Im back! Hope that wasnt too long hahaha. I hope you enjoy this story inspire a little bit by multiple stories, including The Vow. Channing tatum was daym hawt!. Im not to fussed about the grammar at the moment so please bare with it. if you would like a continuation to this feel free to comment.

If you would like to request a story feel free to hit up my inbox and Ill defs do it, cause homegurl has pre bad writers block, so a request might lift that.

enjoy

~Haneul

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foreignquarry · 4 years ago

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Solidified andesite, crusted by crystals of outerspace ice, 2304

Westward fcing : consume y corpse s losing all th rest [sensation & th plenty other marvels of heat > 0 Kelvin {u herd me - n entrpy}] s Empire takes ts course. mbody

tongue of veins pleasure of coverage

I cnnt move n {limbs|digits|nerves} nor the capsule : lst all feelng 2 the ice cryosttic stagnnt floatrs frm th light f Andromeda //[blocked now by asteroids] I ws rich b4 n paid th price - tell me Can u rcall a prvius life? 200yrs blsted from th surfce ofc I nw hv learnt to regret //twas all [dead] swllwed b a plague & th sea {trigger=not.Punitive} yes ofc I travel at the speed of light come! on! wake! up!… t s lk t sunsetion f dying bt concentrated to a single point t I cold trax p each limb p the spine 2 th base o m skull [horn]

ofc I nw hv lurcht to retrospect… *cghcghcghcgh

1815, I shot 7 men wht scurrrrr//ed thru an O n t prison’s wall {dug from within|dug from outside|pinup.Poster|stolen.Spoon} n pulled the bodies in2 th pit I got em t dig: {nsty.Cunts|disgusting.French|uncivilised.Americans} the labour is the same eat

teh same cabbage soup eat teh same dank granite water d drpped from th ceilin of the cell H[royal]MP [risin] eat teh same as the {Paddies|Injuns|Jamaicans}nder their cmnd, 1916 i whipt the Conchies pacifist fucks not fit to call themselves Brits my walls are loyal

{2460 BCE|1550 CE|1995}: I erupted SOUFRIERE! nmesake o t royal colonosris/o colonisor of the mineds: “sulfur outlet” //body is only what can be stolen or exploited what material? I said can u recall?

m dust nw pt f t cycle

s0ft.Granite body O my love y did I hv to hrt u so frzn this way n I cnt hear the heartbreak nor feel the feel the {pkaxe|diamond|LCD} ffffff

I whippt u til th screen dd gleam 2 fund ur abortion d---y m-x-d --ce -mbar-ass-en- 3) polish the glass apologies but it felt so good when u [revolted in south.Korea|Poland|China|Japan (=each piece originated somewhere different|brought together|landless)]&

aha there goes the torso snowflkt a gain, so:

foult splutter I i bu t it t t translates all wrong //cough again //cough again:

“smite me O and

strike me down!

hurt me ever!

once more!

another pls master!

{these} are my final words”

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here, i present the anachronisms and shards of language as something violent. this speaker is horrible and gross, using slurs such as “Injuns”, that reflect a history of violence and colonisation. the language has been distorted and presented as a form of computer code, or as a glitch.

in the book Because Internet, Gretchen McCulloch makes connections between misspellings, spell check software, and systems of control. as grammar is a system of control, and controlling rules, to intentionally mess up grammar or spelling can be seen as a form of resistance. where the English language was used to erase Irish Gaelic language and erase Irish identity, for example, there are writers such as James Joyce, who create their own language, a combination of dead languages and living languages, as a way of resisting colonial tongues. i wanted to show a language dying: english is presented as something close to code, but as it is being transmitted from this frozen brain, lots is lost, and the words begin to mean different things. “ofc i nw hv lurcht to retrospect” could be read as “of course i now have learnt to retrospect”, or as “of course, i have no worries, lurching to retrospect”, for example...

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