#because his wish to save everyone is stronger than his hatred of her guts

[randomnameless]

The "i don't want to kill Edelgard" dialogue the game forces you to pick for Byleth in Verdant Wind is still one the funniest things in the game when you think about what that means in-universe; Byleth has had no issues killing people to get what they want all route-long, but the second Claude brings up killing the girl who started the war and is most at fault for everyone that died because of it, including her own soldiers, they say they don't want to, presumably just because they had such a deep bond with her during their time at Garreg Mach (even though it's perfectly possible to have Byleth spend all their time there never interacting with Edelgard once).

It's shit like that that makes me understand where the same-crest attraction people come from; that forced dialogue choice is at least understandable in Silver Snow, where Byleth is forced to teach Edelgard for a while and would have logicaly formed a bond with her because of that, but the only way that line makes any sense in VW is to assume that their crests made them feel a deeply-heightened and accelerated sense of attraction to each other, to the point that the few short and irrelevant interactions they had in their short time together at GM was enough for them to form a deep bond.

Anon,

If same crust attraction was a thing, do you really thing Billy would angst about Supreme Leader in VW, when Nemesis himself pops up at the end of the route???

I mean, between Supreme Leader and Nemesis, who are you going to simp for if you never talked to any of them, and both are leading a faction to destroy you and your allies?

Supreme Leader, or Nemesis??

All jokes aside,

There's, sadly, no Watsonian explanation for the very Doylist "but she lufs u!!! feel sad about her!!!" approach the devs wanted to hamfist in their game : Billy will feel bad for killing Supreme Leader, even if it doesn't make any sense for them to do so because that is why the devs designed FE16 to be : a story where the player will feel bad about killing the red emperor.

(or at least the player avatar, because damn if this completely missed the mark regarding some players lol)

Just like you feel super BaD for icing Randolph and Ferdie who still works with the Empire, fighting side by side with a Demonic Beast - when the game doesn't expect you to feel a thing when you kill the poor sod who was turned into a monster because the Imperial Army needs War Assets.

that's why some people really felt a bit disturbed by all this Supreme Pandering coming out of nowhere - same with Rhea in VW since her supports are optional, so if Billy is really a player avatar, why should they care about Rhea?

(granted, I'd say even if you only do the strict minimum, Billy still wants to help Rhea in the cinematic before falling in a ravine, so at least there's this sign that Billy cares about her - sure, Billy protected and saved Supreme Leader against Kostas, but after the Flamey reveal, we don't have anything to even remotely indicate Billy still cares specially about Supreme Leader : Billy's avatar status is the reason why they're written to care about Supreme Leader, and yet, Billy's character status explain why they care about Rhea - again, another example of the devs wanting to have their cake and eat it too!)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Time travel rescue pt. 7; 11th Doctor x teen reader ft. Queen

*Author’s note*

And here we go with the climax part of our story so buckle up everyone cause this chapter is a WILD ride. So I hope you all watch the two videos I have in store for you all. Be prepared for some violence, death, and WARNING TOUCHING WITHOUT CONSENT. ALWAYS ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH SOMEONE!!! IT’S NEVER OKAY TO TOUCH, GROPE OR DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SOMEONE’S CONSENT. Okay and with that I leave you guys with this chap. and now we’ve got ONE LAST CHAPTER LEFT.

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural​

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@ixchel-9275​

@platawnic​

@simonedk​

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

@theroyalbrownbarbie​

@bensrhapsody​

______________________________________________________

Play video at 7:10

I stepped out of the TARDIS after finally arriving on the planet Magna Graecia, home to the space sirens.  With my knife in hand I walked through the rocky ground going up and over rock formations only hearing the sounds of the waves crashing along and the whispers of siren tongue.  But I wasn’t scared nor would I be tempted because I had one goal in mind, and one alone.

To save Queen.

I soon came before a large rock formation and even from the light the three full moons gave me, I found my target.  He slithered up the rocks like the snake he always was and will forever be known as.  The agent who delivered the boys of Queen to this world, the scum that everyone in Queen’s circle both past and future grew to hate.

Paul Prenter.

“PRENTER!!” I roared out.  He turned towards me and I could just see the shock in his eyes.  He raced up quicker along the path but I trailed behind him.

Thanks to all my street smarts of dodging police, other gang bangers, and sometimes the occasional rapid dog I easily leapt over the rocks as I kept my eyes on the target.

I chased after him through the cave entrance racing up a ramp-like stairway that led all the way to the top.

*3rd Person POV*

Paul raced all the way to the top of the sacrificial cliff once more and when he reached the edge, there was nowhere else to go for him.  

Quickly trying to plan his way out and give the Sirens yet another sacrifice for them to feast on.  Soon she came right on top of the ledge and stood a few feet behind Prenter.  Her eyes gleaming with hatred and vengeance.

“Snake in the grass.” He heard her say from behind him.  Paul turned to her trying to play the victim card.

“Oh lass please, have mercy on me I beg of you.”

“You don’t deserve to live. You gave up the world’s greatest band just to save your own arse!”

“No, no. I didn’t want to deliver Queen to the Rusalkas. They forced me to. But now I’ve come up with a better plan; I can have the British law come here and kill these sirens. We can exterminate them like the mindless puppets they are. And with you as a second witness, they will believe us.” Paul pleaded as he paced along the edge trying to play the victim and also trying to make an escape.

“As I expected; you’re playing these Sirens for fools, just like you did for Queen!” (y/n) proclaimed as she kept herself in front of Paul, preventing him from escaping.

“Now, now listen to me (y/n). Remember what the Doctor said. You cannot tamper with history. With people amongst Queen’s personal circle.”

*My POV*

I glared at Prenter and sneered as I stood before him.

“Well unlike everyone else in Queen’s circle, you Paul Prenter…..are the infamous, vile and poisonous person to ever walk the planet.”

“Oh (y/n) please tell me how I can prove myself to you? Tell me anything and I swear I’ll do it.” I glared at him with pure hatred as I sneered and he refused to look me in the eye.

“Give them to me. Give me back the boys. And never, ever come back to Earth!”

“Yes.” He complied as he slowly slinked away. “Of course, as you wish. Roger’s groupie!” Suddenly he shot out some sort of liquid that sprayed me in the eyes and stung like hell.

I cried out and tried to rub it away only to suddenly feel myself be slammed down to the ground.  I felt a bite on my shoulder and I let out a painful scream as I took out my knife and began stabbing Paul repeatedly as best I could which caused him to back up but only for a brief second.  Next thing I knew, he was trying to overpower me as he pushed me towards the edge of the cliff.

I took in his true appearance.  He wasn’t just an agent of these sirens. He was one of them.  Pure black eyes, razor sharp teeth dripping with my blood.  I somehow managed to find the strength to knee him in the balls which got him to back off and I came around him.

“Where are they Prenter!?” I cried out.

“It’s too late. They’re one of us now!” he hissed almost in ecstasy.

No. NO!! I refused to believe that.  They can’t be, they just can’t be! I let out a warrior’s battle cry as I charged at Prenter and using my old gang style of fighting, I managed to overpower Prenter and just beat the shit out of him.

Punching and kicking him but he used his sharp claws to cut my arms and legs up pretty good.  But I did manage a good tornado kick across his face.  

He then pounced on me hissing and growling animalistically dragging me across the floor trying to rip my face apart.  Using whatever strength I had left, I pressed my leg onto his gut and gripped the collar of his sleeve and rolled him off of me trying to send him over the cliff.

But as I did, I felt take hold of my ankle which forced me to roll with him and now I was dangling along the edge of the cliff with Paul hanging onto my ankle.

“You’re coming with me if it’s the last thing I do.” He hissed as he dug his claws into my leg.  I groaned in pain as I felt the blood seeping down my leg.  I tried to shake him off but he refused to let go.

My fingers began slipping from the edge and I tried to hang on as best I could, groaning as I used whatever strength I had to pull myself back up while kicking Prenter in the face with my free leg. Suddenly I felt myself falling until I felt someone grab my hand.

The sudden save caused Prenter to release me and he fell down screaming until he disappeared through the mist below us all the way down to the ground.  I looked up to see the Doctor hanging onto me.

He nodded and helped pull me up and we embraced each other before looking back down over the edge, waiting for something to happen.

*3rd Person POV*

As Paul began to regain consciousness from the fall, he found himself lying in the low tide water that looked out into the sea. Soon appearing out of the water or from behind some of the rocks, were the Rusalka zygons.

“My masters…..I’m sorry she overpowered me, she’s stronger than she looks, but I swear together we will have her destroyed.”

“‘Masters’ huh?” a blue siren stated as she came down from her rock formation.  She walked along the water and said to Paul, “I thought you said we were nothing but ‘mindless puppets’?”

“Yeah. And that you were wanting to kill us.” Stated another siren who crawled out from the sea.  With a racing heart Paul said.

“No. No let me explain! I was trying to fool her, I-I-please you must believe me I would never want any of you hurt.”

“There’s nothing you can say to change our minds Paul darling.” A voice very familiar to Paul spoke up.  Soon appearing out of the fog were four very familiar silhouettes.

Freddie Mercury, Roger Taylor, Brian May and John Deacon now stood on a rock just over Paul’s head.

“And for all your lies there is one true thing you ever said Prenter,” began Brian.  Paul looked up at the four rockstars as Deacy said.

“A Rusalka zygon’s belly…..”

“Is never full!” Roger finished as all four men revealed their newly sharp pointed teeth and their eyes turned pure black.

At this point Paul felt the water beginning to rise over him and soon all the sirens hissed at him and charged forward. Paul tried to fight but it all proved in vain.  

Like a shark feeding frenzy; the Rusalkas began tearing Paul apart limb from limb, their hungry and angry cries mixed with the sounds of Paul’s agonizing cries echoing from seas pierced the skies above as the water turned red.

*My POV*

I buried my head into the Doctor’s chest and he held me close covering my ears from the agony and horror I was only imagining. I mean I myself never liked the guy and thousands of other people didn’t like him, but no one deserves that type of death.

“It’s over.” He said.

“No, not yet. Freddie, Bri, Deacy and Roger are down there.” I said.

“If they are then I’m afraid they can’t be helped.”

“No Doctor, they are alive. Paul told me. He said the Rusalkas turned them. We’ve got to help them.”

“But how? There’s no way for us to climb down that ledge, it’s impossible to hold onto.”  I thought it over and I knew exactly what I needed to do.  I walked towards the edge as the Doctor said. “What are—no, no young lady I know what you’re thinking!”

Play video

“This is probably where Paul tossed each of the Queen members one by one. This peek is a sacrificial drop. And sirens are attracted to humans right?” Looking at my injuries I squeezed my arm until a few drops of blood went down.

“No (y/n) you can’t! How do we know if they’re still Queen? They could tear you apart.”

“We don’t.” I stated plain and simple.  I turned to him and sat down on my butt with my legs dangling off the side of the edge.  Then I adjusted myself so that now I was hanging on the edge.  The Doctor suddenly came up and held onto my both of my hands.

“Wait! Wait!” His eyes pleading with me begging me not to do this.  I smiled at him softly tears filling my eyes.

“Let me go.” I whispered.

“(Y/n) please come back up! I’ll try to think of something.”

“There’s not enough time Doctor.” He shook his head tears falling down his face.  I smiled sadly back up at him and said again, “It’s okay. Thank you for letting me meet my heroes.”

I then pushed my right foot against the cliff and forced my hands out of the Doctor’s grip.

Feeling myself falling down hundreds of feet.  I went through the mist and fog and closed my eyes.  Repeating the names of Queen in my head, hoping that if somehow they heard my thoughts, only the four of them would come up to see me and not any other siren.  

Finally I touched down to the ground and blacked out.

*3rd Person POV*

As (y/n) lay there unconscious, the blood from her leg began to soak down into the ground and slowly slip down till finally it reached the water.  Soon rising from above the water were the very sirens that had just ripped Paul Prenter limb from limb.

Blood and bits of flesh still hanging from their mouths as they crawled up towards the shore.

“So this is the one?” asked a blue skinned Rusalka.

“Look how the mighty have fallen now.” Mocked a greenish blue one.

“Don’t be fooled by her though my sisters.” A voice echoed through the caves.  Soon standing at the very peek point where the members of Queen stood earlier, stood an older but goddess like Rusalka. With pure white hair, deep blue eyes and snow white skin.  Her face was sharp and she held such regal in her stance.

“Now this is a sacrifice I have waited days for.” She crawled down the peek and crawled over (y/n)’s unconscious body as she continued, “What an unexpected treat, to eat the one whose killed so many of our sisters.”

The Queen Rusalka reached out and began touching and stroking all over (y/n)’s body, humming out moans of pleasure.

“Aww poor baby. So much pain she’s been through but still such raw strength. Had she chosen differently she would’ve been perfect amongst us.” She mocked out in a soft coo, which made the others all chuckle sinisterly and mockingly.

She then lowered her head towards (y/n)’s neck and inhaled her scent and was mystified by it.

“I wonder—how that bravery will taste?” She opened her mouth to reveal her large canines.  She moved closer and closer ready to take a chunk out of her neck.

Suddenly a loud roar echoed through the bottom of the cavern.  All the Rusalkas stood up in alarmed while the Queen turned and looked, her mouth still open.

Then shooting out of the water were four large male figures.  They each attacked the zygons surrounding (y/n)’s body.  Loud roars, growls, hisses and snarls were heard as the Rusalkas were forced to back away from the body.  

The Queen also was forced to retreat as a tall, lean figure circled around (y/n)’s body defensively while two dark haired and a blonde haired all circled around (y/n) and the other figure roaring and forcing any Rusalka to back off.

With a final roar from the blonde it turned out the four males protecting (y/n) were none other than the members of Queen.  

All four of them in full Rusalka form.  Black eyes, webbed hands that bled with blood and fangs poised and ready for the attack.  Roger then turned towards the Queen and stepped up onto the rock to stare her down as he snarled out.

“If you dare come near our kill again!”

“Of course not Roger. She’s yours. You and your friends may have her.”

“As your King let that be known!” Roger growled.  He stepped off the rock podium and stood before (y/n)’s body and let out another roar towards the other Rusalkas which frightened most of them away.

“Less you want to join her as a second course, I suggest you all leave. Now!” Hissed John Deacon.  At this threat the remaining Rusalka’s retreated back to the sea, leaving only the Queen.

“That includes you dear.” Freddie hissed out the dear hauntingly.

“Now fuck off and leave her to us. We will dispose of her properly.” Brian sneered as he placed his webbed hand over (y/n)’s head in a way a predator would over their kill.

Knowing that these boys meant business, the Queen slowly retreated back to the water leaving only the boys to stand over (y/n)’s unconscious body.  They turned to one another and Roger nodded once which caused the other three to nod back.

They knew what they must do, and they were gonna do it.  Whatever it took.

*My POV*

I don’t know how long I was knocked out for, but what had woke me up was the sound of angelic singing.  The sweet vocalization soothed my aching body and put my mind at ease.

Slowly I turned to my right side and I saw just ahead of me four familiar head shapes peeking out from the water.  The volumized, shaggy raven black hair, the dark brown curly hair that truly represented the 70’s and the long brown and blonde headed men.

“Guys?” They dove down under the water.  I rolled onto my stomach and slowly army crawled towards the rock-like porch that stood between the sea and me.  Soon slowly popping out of the water were Brian and Roger, followed by Deacy and Freddie.

My god the sirens really did change them.  I mean their human faces remained the same and to be honest it was like they became even more handsome than before with this sleek dolphin like skin-texture.  None of us spoke a word, they only just stared at me with black doll-like eyes.

Roger was the first one to make a move as his webbed-like hand with long, claw like nails slowly slid up the rock and he placed it on top of my hand.  We stared at each other and I just felt myself go numb as his eyes went from black to those piercing blue eyes that gave me comfort.

He tilted his head curiously but still didn’t speak a word to me.  I know I should be afraid, hell scared shitless but for some reason I just couldn’t. Not while looking into Roger’s eyes.

I didn’t even notice him slowly pulling my hand into the water as his other hand cupped the side of my face.

“Rog.” I whispered.  He smiled softly and hummed softly.  He lifted himself up and pressed his forehead against mine, I even heard him beginning to sing the first few lines of “In the lap of the God’s”.

His voice sounding ten times more hypnotic than usual and I couldn’t help but feel myself drowning even further under his spell. He slowly moved back towards the water and that’s when his eyes suddenly blinked back to the pure black and his teeth grew razor sharp.

Before I could even react and snap out of it, I was dragged under the water.

[gaiabamman]

Get “Linked”, a sci-fi political romance with fantasy elements, here (Kindle, paperback and Audible!)

Summary: Nala is a riotous liberal. When she discovers that she is Cursoi, gifted individuals that form a military caste, she infiltrates them with the goal to kill newly elected President Crash, a hateful bigot. Unexpectedly, she falls in love with fellow soldier Drama, whose skill is empathy. Nala, who was raised human, struggles with Cursoi culture, where “merging” (similar to human intercourse) is very common and non exclusive. Things precipitate when Nala “links” with gorgeous and conservative Lethal, the killer of their Cursoi unit. “Linking” means that the two, who hate each other’s guts, share their consciousness and feelings. Nala inevitably learns about Lethal’s dark past and Lethal learns about Nala’s fears and secrets. It does not help that Lethal is Drama’s sworn enemy. Nala, who has a science background, starts researching Cursoi with the pretext of making them stronger, when in fact she is looking for weaknesses to attack them from the inside out. Interestingly, Lethal takes some s*it about the fact that he won’t merge with men (what’s wrong with him?! Why the discrimination?).

Currently, Nala is facing her first mission after linking, which took a lot of adjusting. As a Cursoi, she is compelled to follow orders and right now she has to kill a sniper attempting at the president’s life. Will she? Also both Nala and Lethal have not been “merging” since when they linked, and the situation is becoming unsustainable for both of them.

Warning: mild language, some explicit content.

By the way, the trees on the cover are pyramidal neurons. GEEK OUT!

Nala! Lethal says in my head. Nala, we have to! You’re blocking me!

Lethal and I stop the sniper’s heart, and I almost pass out. I cannot believe we just killed a man. I cannot believe I could have disobeyed after all. Lethal’s bewilderment echoes within me, resonating with the implications of the discovery. Yet, for now, I’m choking with the guilt for the man I killed.

Vulture makes the corpse disappear. Zera removes him from anyone’s memory. I cling to Lethal’s inner shield, to his wall. I need it. I can’t deal with this. Lethal shifts and his elbow touches mine. Serenity invades me, and for the first time maybe ever, I am grateful to have Lethal at my side.

Nala, we just followed orders, he says.

I just followed orders, I repeat, like a mantra. I just followed orders, but I didn’t have to. Did I?

President Crash says, “The first month of my office has been an absolute success. The Few passed unanimously the Religious Freedom Act. This should settle the haters who called me a racist. I respect everyone.”

The crowd claps. I hold back a smirk at the people flipping Crash off as a sign of love and respect. You get what you sow, I guess.

Drama says, “Disturbance, a fight is starting.”

Emo says, “Sedated.”

I add, “Kid got crushed. Healed.”

Zera says, “Removed. He won’t even remember.”

President Crash says, “Also, we finished the budget, and will be able to save 300 billion Uni on what was projected by the previous president.”

Whoa. Maybe he does know what he’s doing.

“Also, we are cranking down on illegal immigrants, just like I promised. I will make it impossible for Saturnites to come to Earth, unless they’re needed. You put your trust in the right man, and remember! The end justifies the means!”

When he walks away, waving, the crowd is still roaring.

Ghost says, “President secured. Dime, take us home.”

This time, I do feel like I’m going back home.

That night there’s a lot of Libre. Apprentices look like devils in the light of the lanterns. The crickets scream in my pounding head. A number of Apprentices come to hit on me, or to ask questions about what’s going on between Lethal and me and linking in general. I don’t even reply. I barely register the chatter around me, or Zera rubbing herself against Lethal three seats down. He evades most questions, focusing on a more physical type of interaction.

No matter how much Libre I down, the guy I killed keeps dropping dead in front of me. Did he have a family? He must have known he was gonna die for nothing. What a waste of life. At my hand.

“Rogue, you’re quiet tonight,” Min says, sitting across the table from me, and I don’t even answer, downing more Libre, and wishing him away. After I ignore him, he starts talking to Kino. Lethal’s hand is now around Echo. I can feel Zera in his lap, her sweet perfume sickens me. He must hate it too.

Drama is missing, and so is Emo. I think about Lethal’s stubborn refusal to merge with men, the pitiful encounter with Drama. Is he merging with Emo? I do get it, though, Lethal. With everything that happened to you, I get it.

You’re drunk, he says.

But I get it. I can feel Lethal’s anger as he squeezes Echo’s butt a little too tight. She smiles, biting his shoulder. Gross.

Lethal says in my head, Funny how it never occurred to you to merge with a woman, because I certainly wouldn’t object to that. The realization hits me like a dunk in the cold springs. And you weren’t even raped, Rogue. People just have preferences, get over yourself.

I reply, I don’t care about merging, now! How can you not care about the guy we killed?

He says, You’re just too weak to admit you’re wrong.

He closes his eyes and thinks of his first kill, the Master who abused him, and every kill that followed. Each one was painful and guilt ridden, till they all blurred in his self-hatred.

He says, have another round of Libre, Rogue, you’re such a role model.

Drama appears at the edge of the darkness, with Emo, laughing and pushing each other around. They sit and start drinking, chatting with everyone. Then Drama’s eyes find us.

I say in my head, Drama is watching us.

I don’t give a bonk.

Clearly. Like I said, I get it—

Shut the bonk up, Rogue! You don’t!

Zera jumps off Lethal’s lap, startled, and then leans her head on Drama’s shoulder. It breaks my heart a little more.

Lethal cannot shut me up. I know we shouldn’t talk in each other’s head so much, but it’s pretty easy to keep our consciousnesses apart, when we’re fighting and doing things the other never would. Yet, I do understand how after being abused by his Master, he’d rather be in control of merging. I’m not surprised he’s not into men. Even with women, he’s always on top.

Lethal growls, Get out of my head! And I’m into no one. No one can even bear to talk to me.

I can see why. My snarky, drunk remark hurts him. I didn’t mean it, Lethal.

Oh, go bonk yourself! Or is that too dirty for your frigid ass?

The only reason Lethal does nothing about Zera kissing Drama’s neck is that he enjoys how much that’s hurting me.

He continues, So ready to judge me, but you’re the Cursoi freak, Rogue. And your hero, here, with his hand in Zera’s pants? He’d rather merge with humans. Ain’t that strange?

I’m holding back the tears. I guess.

He’d merge with anyone but you, in fact.

Because you won’t let us, jerk!

Lethal glares at me, furious, because that was a low blow, and because we are all freaks, in our own way. It’s easy to gang up against someone, and I’d rather shoot that get shot.

The sniper dying comes back to mind.

Lethal’s anger makes so much sense. Damn, I thought I was lonely. I’m sorry, Lethal.

What did you just say?

I’m sorry, Lethal. You’re right.

Are you now? Well, bonk you, Rogue. He turns away, and I clearly see Zera throwing a hopeful look his way. I guess she likes it rough.

I hold back the tears and my mind is taken up again by images of the sniper dropping dead before he even had a chance to pull out his termin-aid, the crowd forgetting him within seconds.

I try to stand up and stumble. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to do. I see myself like in a holo-show, walking toward Lethal, and putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinches when the golden light surrounds us. He jerks away from my hand, still angry, but then turns to look at my face and scoots to make room for me on the bench at his side.

By the time Lethal and I stumble back to our place late at night, I’m wasted. The Libre I drank is fogging up his brain too. We haven’t spoken anymore, but strangely, he came home with me.

“You would have slept in the park, if I’d let you,” he slurs, shaking his head to clear it.

“How gentleman-man-ly of you, hic!”

He rolls his eyes. We stop in front of our hot springs, considering the skipping stones.

He leans heavily over my shoulder, and I bask in the warmth and happiness his touch brings us.

He says, “You smell soooo good.”

I giggle, because I know he means it.

“Of course I mean it, Dumb. You pick your hair products. Ergo you like them. Ergo I like them. Also, I haven’t merged in a month and anything smells better than Zera’s perfume.” I laugh. Crickets sing. Hoot the Owl does her thing.

“You named the owl?” he asks. I hiccup. “That’s… cute?” he slurs. He has never said that word before.

I sigh. I like drunk Lethal a bit too much, but I’m pretty sure it’s the Libre. “It was better when you were a meathead,” I say.

“It wasn’t. I wasn’t.”

“Less approachable?” I garble.

“It wasn’t.”

We decide to attempt the skipping stones, his arm still around my neck. We don’t even make the first one. He misses it all together, and I slip.

SPLASH!

In the gurgling of the water in my ears, I heal his head as it’s cracking against the rock bed, then I realize the ankle I twisted when I slipped feels already okay. I emerge, coughing up water.

“I did that,” Lethal says. He’s sitting in the hot water, beside me, his wet tunic clinging to his wide shoulders, wet hair covering his face and bewildered eyes. “I. Did. That,” he repeats, his pride filling my chest, because it’s the first time he’s healed someone rather than killing them.

“Next time, do yourself first,” I chide.

“That sounds mergy, and you healed me first too,” he says.

“Your head was cracking open!”

The words die in my throat when I realize he’s breathing faster, his eyes fixed on the wet fabric clinging to my breasts.

I jump out of the water, fighting his arousal. “You’re drunk,” I say.

“No, you’re drunk,” he whispers, right behind me. Either I’m really drunk, or he’s really nimble. Or both.

I ignore him and stumble to the stair, up and up and around, all the way to the nest, slipping on the last step because of my wet shoes.

Lethal catches me, and warmth spreads through me.

“Maybe you should leave,” I whisper.

“How?” he asks, amused. “And you don’t mean it.”

I feel ashamed of my needs and I want to push Lethal away. I say, “This is where I made love with Drama. I can’t deal with you, Lethal.”

“You can’t deal with yourself, Nala. You touched yourself in that very same nest and didn’t think about it twice. How would this be different?”

“It’s not merging for me, okay?” I step away from him, and I already miss him.

“Nala, you are Cursoi. I know you didn’t know that growing up, but you’re doing to yourself the same thing I did to myself all these years.”

“Sleeping with half the capital?”

“You know what I mean.”

Rejecting yourself.

He turns and leaves, and I ache to feel complete, but I also ache to find the strength to keep lying to myself.

During the following days, I still keep repeating to myself that I just followed orders, and I ignore Lethal’s pity-filled looks. I feel hopeless, my soul crushed with that of the man we killed.

The other Cursoi struggle to adjust to our new situation. Lethal and I can’t stand any of our respective friends. It’s been five days since we resumed our Cursoi routine, merging aside, and the other Apprentices kind of gave up on the idea of merging with us or getting any information about linking. To be honest I feel like anyone barely stands us anymore.

During universal geo, Ghost asks, “What’s the temperature shift on Mercury from night to day?”

I reply, bored, “About sixhundred celsius due to its closeness to the sun, its lack of atmosphere, and slow spinning. It goes from -173 ºC to 427 ºC, which is why Mercury, or Merc, is often used in figures of speech to signify hell.”

Browser rolls his eyes, and Echo even murmurs something that sounds like gibberish imitating my tone. Lethal shuts them all up with a murderous look.

At the end of class we walk to the lab, where we now spend the majority of our time. After our little demonstration on Ghost’s bladder, it became apparent we need training in keeping our sanity much more than manipulating the human body.

Awkward choice of words.

I glare at Lethal and his stupid comments, trying to focus on the data flashing on the holo-charts. The truth is that I can’t avoid pining for Drama every time I see him.

Get over yourself. You merged once, Lethal says, full of spite.

It was more special than anything you’ve ever had. Silence. I can only feel Lethal’s pain.

“Focus,” Lethal says, pointing at the new data.

I try.

Ghost shows up in the lab at the end of the day. Lethal and I are sitting close to each other, staring at the monitors. I realize that once again we are touching, the golden light only we can see like a safety blanket between us.

Lethal stands, and I already miss him. “Ghost,” he says.

“Lethal, Rogue.” He nods, then adds, “You two look terrible. Have you merged since… nevermind. I’m sure you’ll have the sense to figure it out.” We both look away. I am well aware that Lethal is burning, because so am I, but if I dealt with not merging for years, he can survive a few weeks.

Bonk you, he says.

You wish.

“So, found anything?” Ghost asks.

Lethal waves to the left, where a holo-chart shows a 3D rendition of human plasma cells, which produce antibodies. He says, “We figured out how skills develop—”

Ghost jumps to his feet. “Could you imprint skills at will?”

Lethal and I shake our heads.

I say, “It’s similar to V(D)J recombination, the process that allows humans to have an endless array of antibodies to fight any possible disease.”

“Okay?”

Lethal adds, “Except that skill recombination happens in the brain. At birth, each Cursoi has the potential of developing one of many skills. The skill is selected at puberty.”

“How?” Ghost asks, tilting his head and squinting.

“The recombination happens in cells we named pro-neurons.” I say, “When kids use them, they activate like normal neurons, but the effects are minimal, because there is only one pro-neuron per skill type. We found a huge number of them in the brainscans of Cursoi toddlers, but none after puberty.”

“They die?” Ghost asks.

I nod. “Except the one type that is selected. If one kid engages in an activity he or she enjoys, like healing for me, their dopamine level goes up. The pro-neuron’s activation in concomitance with the spike in dopamine and the peak of sex hormones characteristic of puberty causes that specific pro-neuron to replicate, very much like memory cells in the immune system. These new, all identical neurons colonize a big chunk of the temporal lobe in the brain cortex and make the skill possible.”

Ghost is trying very hard not to stare at Lethal, but his thoughts are obvious. How the Merc did Lethal enjoy crushing internal organs as a kid? Most Cursoi skills are not strictly weapon-like, hence Lethal’s nickname. Most are fun and can be used in a strategical way, like Browser’s or Kino’s, or Emo’s.

Ghost says, “When your master died… it was no accident. Was it?” His face is very white.

Lethal says nothing, and I feel all the guilt and the triumph that still wrestle in his heart at the memory, but mostly the pain, the humiliation.

Ghost continues, “Did he hurt you?”

Lethal stands up abruptly. “The report is over, Sir.” He adds in my head, Time to get drunk, Dumb, and I can’t shake the feeling he’s on a mission to do something really stupid tonight.