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nebulaafterdark · 2 days ago

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Dragonseeds (Pt. 2)

Summary: If any man can claim a dragon, what good is the blood of Old Valyria?

Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon(Cole)!Reader

18+ ONLY MDNI Targcest, smut

Part 1

On the day Y/N Velaryon was born, King Viserys hosted a grand feast in her honor. On her twenty fifth name day, Rhaenyra sends similar gifts to King’s Landing, to feed the smallfolk. News which is ill received by her mother by law, Alicent.

“The King and Queen are missing, rest assured we are doing all we can to locate them, your Grace. Still someone must rule in their stead.” Ser Criston suggests, “a regent to guide us through their safe return.”

“A wise thought.” Alicent nods, “might I suggest myself?”

The members of the small council can hardly answer the dismissal of Rhaenyra’s claim by raising up a woman of their own.

The councilmen are inclined to believe they must first search of evidence of foul play. Though Ser Otto is not convinced. Pulling his daughter aside to scold her.

“These are the very same children who made themselves easy on the morning of her brother’s petition as heir of Driftmark. They are insolent and foolish but they do hold one thing dear and that is the other, and their children. They cannot see beyond their own desires.”

“You wished for Aegon to be king.” Alicent murmurs, “I’ve made him king.”

“I take full responsibility for my part in this, daughter.” Otto sighs, “knowing what I do now, it should have been Aemond upon the throne. He is closer in age to Rhaenyra’s daughter, he would not have been so pliable beneath her unyielding hands.”

“You could not have known for certain.”

“Everyone knew.” Otto admits. “To have Y/N is to have Aegon. He bends the knee to her and her whims because he…” loves her.

“Aemond might’ve fallen prey to her charms all the same. Y/N is not cold, calculated or cunning. She is only a girl, desperate to win her mother’s affection by any means necessary.” Alicent knows the role well.

“I want my mother.” Y/N pleaded with her midwives during her first labors.

Alicent developed a quiet fondness for her daughter by law in those days, more than she cares to admit.

————————————————————————

Princess Y/N and Prince Aegon are made comfortable upon their arrival, accepted with open arms by their Queen and left to their own devices.

Y/N and Aegon know little entertainment besides court…and the familiar comfort of the other. Without meetings to attend and their children still abed, they have no choice but to indulge.

Aegon finds his face between her thighs, drawn in like a moth to flame. Gods, how he loves her. Spelling it out over her pearl time and time again.

“Fuck,” Y/N cries, rolling her hips up to meet him.

Aegon’s hands encircle them, wide and full to bear his children. She finds her peak against his tongue, thighs clenched taut around his head.

They scarcely notice the door of their apartments creaking open until Rhaenyra is in their bed chamber. “Oh!” The woman shields her eyes.

“Mother,” Y/N gasps. Pulling the coverlet up to her chin.

“Forgive me. I thought you might be alone.” Aegon had been given his own chambers.

Aegon moves up toward the pillows, popping his head out from beneath the covers. “Did you need something?”

Rhaenyra huffs, “I need my daughter and heir, yes. We’ve much to discuss.”

“Of course, mother.” Y/N nods, “give me a moment to make myself decent and I will meet you in your rooms?”

Rhaenyra nods, before rushing out to the safety of the nearest corridor.

“That ought to keep her from barging in unannounced.” Aegon muses, brushing sweat damp hair from his wife’s face.

“You find it funny that my mother now knows of our…intimacies?” Y/N snaps.

Aegon chuckles, “I’m afraid she has known, darling girl.” He passes a hand over the swell of her belly. “Everyone knows, I fear.”

Y/N groans, burying her face in her hands.

“Do not despair, my dearest love.” Aegon murmurs, “you have laid your line of succession strong enough that no man may question it.”

Y/N nods, as his forehead rests against her temple.

“At all of five and twenty, you have provided the crown with nearly six heirs.” Aegon reminds her, “you have performed your duty. There is no shame in it.”

“When I was a girl, I thought we’d fly away on dragon back.” Y/N whispers, tracing the lines of his face with her finger.

Aegon smiles, “and where would we go?”

“Away on a ship somewhere, to live off the sea. We’d spend the rest of our days singing sea shanties, eating only cake…and fish, of course.”

Aegon chuckles, “of course.”

“We’d be free of all this.”

“We will never be free of this.” He understands better now, what it meant each time she took his body in her own to create life. The way they unknowingly sealed their fate with each kiss.

“Do you wish to be, husband?”

“I wish for your happiness and that of our children. The rest matters little and less.”

“You matter to me a great deal.”

————————————————————————-

“In your absence, Jacaerys and I have set down a difficult path…where it seems we now differ in opinion.” Rhaenyra informs her daughter. “As my successor, I must now raise the matter with you.”

“Of course.” Y/N nods.

“To stand against Vhagar, even with Sunfyre and Stormborn now amongst our ranks, we will need more dragon riders.”

“Our children are very young, their dragons still wet from the egg. It may be a decade or more before they take to wing.”

“You agree then, something else must be done about our numbers?” Rhaenyra asks.

Jace shakes his head, clenching his hands into fists.

“What do you propose?” Y/N wonders.

“There are many in our line who’ve…ventured outside their marriage bed. Those children have lived largely in the shadows, but they share the blood of the dragon.” Rhaenyra continues, choosing her words carefully.

“Surely there are those from our line who married into other noble houses-”

“We have lost Ser Stephen to such a venture. I fear the blood may be too thin.” Rhaenyra laments, toying with her rings.

“You disagree, Jacaerys?”

“When one of those baseborn, silver haired, dragon riders decide they want to rule the seven kingdoms, where does that leave you?” Jace turns to his sister. “They will leave you clinging to Aegon again, in hopes of becoming Queen. Even then they may question your claim.”

“I appreciate your concerns, you are ever vigilant.” Y/N takes his hand in hers, “I appreciate it more than you will ever know.”

“Of course.”

“I ask you now, brother, what other choice we have?”

“Together with Sunfyre, Vermax, Stormborn and Syrax do you not believe we stand a chance against Vhagar?”

“A chance, yes.” Y/N agrees, “but to put the people I hold most dear in danger for a chance? I can do no such thing in good conscience.”

“You are putting your claim in danger, perhaps your very life. Are you so blind you cannot see it?” Jace snaps.

“Better my claim be lost than any of you.” Y/N says, pointedly. “I want to be Queen. I have wanted it from the time I was a child and it was impressed upon me to want. Clinging to it like some prized possession. I married for it, birthed children for it. I was left behind in King’s Landing when I was no more than a child, to hold my place in our grandsire’s court while the rest of my family abandoned me for Dragonstone. I have given all that I am or ever hoped to be to hold this claim. Still I will choose any of you over a crown.”

“You should never have had to do that.” Jacaerys reminds her.

Rhaenyra runs a hand over her own face. “I did not mean for you to feel abandoned.”

“I know that, mother, and I do not fault you for it.” Y/N assures her, “you do what you must to protect-”

“Cole promised he would care for you, I should never have trusted him. I should have taken you with me, as I wanted. You wrote to me often enough that I forced myself to believe you were happy.”

“Cole did care for me, as best he could.” Y/N assures her, “I only meant…”

“You meant what you said.” Rhaenyra understands, “and rightfully so. I have made many mistakes in this life, most regrettably, with you. They have cost you more than even I understood, until now. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have had to do in all my years. I am sorry for it.”

“Mother, I do not fault you for decisions you made to protect me. You did the best you could.”

“I did not do enough, it seems.” Rhaenyra pats her cheek. “All the more reason I must do what I can for you now.”

“If you believe this is the way, then I will help you see it through.” Y/N decides, “tell me what I must do.”

“Nothing yet, the Lady Mysaria has already sent word to King’s Landing.”

————————————————————————-

When they are excused by the Queen, Jace makes haste towards his quarters.

“Jace,” Y/N calls. “Jacaerys!” She says a bit louder the second time to be sure he’s heard her.

“I wish for a moment alone.”

Y/N closes the distance between them. “I do not pretend to know what has happened here in my absence. But what I will tell you is that when Aegon and I first wed, he would not lie with me. After seeing Helaena birth her twins, he could hardly stomach it. He waited and waited.” Y/N confesses, “I too was frightened of the birthing bed.”

“You were a child.” Jace reminds her, “you’d every right to be.”

“When I turned ten and six Otto Hightower began discussing his fear that I might be barren, with Alicent. This was kept hush, but the whispers trickle down, they always do.” Y/N swallows. “In noble families requiring an heir, it is not uncommon to receive…assistance. They wanted to bring in one of the serving girls for Aegon, if I could not conceive. But before that though, I’d be expected to lie with another in our line.”

Jacaerys can only gawk at her. “And did you?”

“No,” Y/N assures him. “But had I not conceived, it would have been expected of me.”

“With whom?”

“Aemond is my husband’s closest blood.” Y/N averts her eyes, “they knew he could sire children.”

“Did mother know?” Jace demands.

“Everyone knew, Jacaerys.” Y/N huffs, “she was prepared to fight for me, as she always has. But I do not care to admit the number of times I’ve envied you…simply for being born a son. We cannot fault our mother for doing what she must, she is choosing between the lesser of two rotten choices.”

“I could not have done the things you have, I wish more than anything that you did not have to do them. But you are just, in your morals and your mercy. So if you believe this is the way, I stand proudly at your side.” Jace assures her. It never mattered to either of them that different men’s blood courses through their veins. Being the eldest, they are the only ones to ever know. Even sweet Lucerys had no inkling.

“Thank you, brother.”

Taglist: @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @kamcrazy123 @barnes70stark

#house of the dragon #aegon targaryen x you #aegon targaryen x reader #hotd smut #aegon targaryen #hotd aegon #aegon targaryen smut #aegon smut #aegon ii #aegon imagine

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the-artist-grimm · 2 days ago

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Im sorry if you already answered something similar but does the twins ever reunite with Forneus in your au? If so how does it exactly work out, does Narinder, Anthea, and Forneus share custody?

Crimson Angel AU - The Situation between Forneus and the Twins

(Anon, @gerroacarnival and @xquaserh Putting all these asks in 1 cause oh boy this is a COMPLICATED question to answer oof. I wanna preface this that while I love Forneus just going by the characters personalities/themes of this AU the reunion is not as fairy-tale happy as it is in game)

Anyway-the boys do reunite with her technically, but not in the way Forneus dreamt. Reunions are good in theory, the long lost children reunite with their ‘real’ family, hug their mother, go ‘home’ with her, start life anew, but life isn’t so simple, now is it? It’s never that easy, not when one side clings to the memory of three day old infants and a reunion she'd dreamt of for so long it just became her expectation, and the other side has no memory and complex feelings on the whole matter with this slight feeling that perhaps while their mother loves the idea of them, she doesn't actually love them.

It's messy, complicated, and no matter what, will NEVER be the reunion Forneus wanted. The second they left her embrace, she lost the chance to be the mother she'd wanted to be for them, yet never realize till too late what else died with them.

(Putting this under the cut cause it's longgggg. The Twins and Forneus's story has so little in-game text that it's become this favorite thing of mine to interpret/expand)

The Two Parents

Forneus did and didn’t have a choice to give the boys up. When Shamura appeared, the newborn, extremely premature kits were already doomed to die, so the choice to either let them pass naturally or to allow War to take them as gifts with a potential of reunion was an either damned if she did or damned if she didn’t, situation. And in her grief and desperation, she chose the option that gave the potential for hope. She gave the twins to Shamura, accepted the golden skull, and waited. Waited for her babies to come home, waited as a mother who never really ever had a chance to be a mother-one who works off feelings but no experience.

Meanwhile when it came to Aym and Baal, Narinder never told them who their parent(s) were. How could he, when he himself had no certainty as to who they were? Though his 7th Vessel, Forneus, had left service specifically because of pregnancy, he had no means of tracking how much time had passed since when they first arrived (it could've been a century since for all he knew), nor any means to confirm without doubt that the black, newborn kittens were hers even once his next vessel gave him the date-he couldn't ask them to investigate something so personal and unrelated to their cause.

Their box held only their bodies, a spider-silk cloth which was their burial shroud, and a note penned in Shamura’s hand. ‘A Gift’ that’s all the note said. No names, no clues, no nothing. While Narinder had suspicions, he could not in good conscious tell the boys of a potential mother out of risk of being wrong-of getting their hopes up for a heroic parent only to be proved that it wasn’t her, or worse, told heroic tales just to learn they were abandoned all along. Vessel 7 was heroic yes, had a sense of justice yes, but during her service her luck had made her grow arrogant, had transformed flirting into a game of hearts and people into a way to get the upper hand-for all he knew, if they were hers, they could've all along been her means of trying to easily get out of vesselship. He just didn't know.

And thus Narinder raised them from there. He tried to use the title of ‘Master’ as a barrier in hopes that, if they did have a family awaiting them, he wouldn't take their place, (it was also out of guilt for being the reason they were trapped) but he also couldn't bring himself to fully shut them out either. The moment their dead bodies healed in the gate and they started to mewl for attention his unbeating heart bled for them, and he just couldn't deny them love because he knew how much it hurt to be without.

The Twins

As centuries passed Aym and Baal were content with Narinder as their 'Master'. He who told them stories of his time above, who taught them how to fight, who fashioned them clothes from whatever scraps of cloth he would get vessels to send-he was all they had and knew. When they felt the time to sleep it was in his paws they curled up, when they got hurt training or got bored it was from he they received comfort and attention. It was his magic which allowed them to age against the Gateway's stasis, it was he who saw their eyes open, watched as they learned to speak and walk.

But that’s not to say neither did think of whoever was left behind from time to time. Baal tried to keep hope that he and his brother were taken-stolen by the Bishops, with whatever parents they’d had having desperately tried to keep War away. Aym, meanwhile, only felt anger, bitterness and resentment, for who lets two three day old kits be taken and sacrificed? Narinder himself simply tried to keep neutral on the subject, not wanting to feed into either side in hopes that'd avoid a heartbreak or the smooth transition to their 'real' kin.

The Lamb

When the Lamb appears and starts to befriend them, it's then the boys suddenly find themselves feeling the same sense of security and comfort Narinder gives them towards Anthea. As the lamb brings them toys and books catered to their interests, teaches them to read, uses the crown to show them the world above and encourage their boundless curiosities. As nights suddenly see the lamb visit in their nightgown book and quilt in hand, letting the twins snuggle into their sides as the three are cradled against Narinder's chest while reading a book, and the boys fall asleep to a heartbeat for the first time. Narinder had always been stability and security, Anthea became tenderness and warmth.

Anthea teaches them what a 'Father' is as well, and the boys realize that's what their master actually is-he's their dad and tentatively start testing calling him as such, and while it's not until just before Silk Cradle they realize it (yet don't call them Baba yet) Anthea's long on their way to feeling like a parent too.

Which then begs the question…what of the parent(s) left behind?

First Contact

Baal still wants to meet them, he's always been curious and just wants to know who they are, while Aym is still angry and wants nothing to do with them. They got a parent in their master, and Anthea's their friend and practically a parent too, so why bother with the ones who abandoned them? Narinder overhears the boys debate over it more and more, and as Anchordeep’s door opens, Narinder hesitantly asks the Lamb for a favor.

He’d heard rumors of a shopkeep she-cat who wore a golden skull, and Anthea had been the first to confirm that cat's name was Forneus. He’d never asked a vessel to do such a thing before, mainly out of not feeling close enough to ever ask such a personal, unrelated to the Bishops, task, but he wants to give the boys closure, and Anthea would happily do anything to help the kits. And thus they're sent out, and in a bit of a side quest work their way to getting Forneus to sit down and just...talk.

She explains her side of what happened, how the boys were born too soon, how she had really no choice, breaks down, and as the cats had been listening in and Aym who's now uncertain feels bad, and he requests Narinder for permission to speak.

“Save your tears for when we meet” is what he says, and that’s all that’s said through the crown.

For Aym it’s an olive branch-he’s sorta gotten an answer as to why he and his brother were sacrificed, though he's not entirely sure how to feel since well...she still gave them up, but she looks sorry so... Baal's eager and happy to hear that they were cared about but is a little disappointed at realizing that she didn't really hesitate despite the situation, but regardless, both are willing to give her a chance. They want to get to know her, and then they'll decide how they feel after that.

They, do not, see her as a proper 'Mother'. Just someone who shares their blood who they want to meet. To then Narinder's still Dad-he's still the one who makes them feel secure.

Meanwhile for Forneus it’s proof that she’ll get what was promised. Her boys are not only alive, but they’re children-they’re still children, so she'll now get what she wanted and more. They'll reunite and she'll then take her children home to travel by her side-she’ll get to raise her dear little babies just as she’d planned, and while it took so long it's going to be perfect.

She's dreamt of the boys seeing and running into her oncoming embrace crying. That they'll love her instantly and had already because she's their mother so of course that's how they'll feel. How could they not? Children ALWAYS love their parents.

The Lamb promises to help her meet them once they’re free, and every visit after, Forneus tries to get the boys to talk again-offers gifts for the lamb to bring to the Gateway, rambles on about all the things they'll do together while the Lamb browses her shop. And...well they're things, at least. Most of the toys she offers are either baby toys or things that just don't interest the boys, and some of her plans are...plans. They're elaborate-taking them to X mountain, to X landmark, traveling here and there and everywhere. Big and grand and...and never mentioning their Dad or Anthea being there.

Baal thinks it's sweet how excited she is while Aym is getting more and more unsure-but even Baal eventually admits that she's a little...loud. Forneus is loud-she's energetic and eager and while he and Aym can be too, seeing it from a stranger about them is...weird. She keeps calling herself their Mama , and calling them Zamir and Delshad despite being told otherwise because apparently those were their names (a fact not even Shamura had been given. Narinder had to name the boys himself). She keeps talking about those three days they were with her, and it kinda feels like she loves the babies she gave up and not them.

Anthea tries to tell her about them, but she usually doesn't realzie since she's busy talking to her babies and not them, it's as if the lamb isn't even there. The boys can't even try to think of trying to talk-she never leaves an opening for them to try. Eventually the boys ask Narinder to mute the crown during the Lamb's shop visits the more uncomfortable it gets.

It's like going to a family reunion and being brought to your great Aunt who last saw you as an infant at your christening. She insists on kissing your face and hugging you tight and going oh how big you've grown sweetiepie and this and that and...and you put up with it because she's family but...well she's a stranger despite the shared blood. She doesn't actually know the you of now-and you don't know her.

Reunion

When the final Bishop falls is when Forneus suddenly finds herself left in the dark. For 6 months she sees hide nor hair of the Lamb, and gradually gets worried because where are her sons? The Bishops are dead, why hasn't she been given back her babies?

(The Lamb had been avoiding her cart during crusades out of both grief and guilt-Aym's dying word of calling them 'Baba'...it broke something in them, made them realize just how much the boys had meant. They had a shattered heart and endless guilt, and having to face Forneus and explain she'd never meet her sons? It'd been too much as a grieving parent themself)

The twins were revived after 4 months but Anthea only finally approached Forneus after 6, and she was too relived to finally hear she could meet them to bother asking what'd happened. Anthea invited her to come to the cult that weekend, and Forneus happily accepted, not even noticing the tiredness in the Lamb's eyes nor the uncertainty in their tone. Even on the day she arrived at the cult, she didn't mind the lamb, not even as Anthea gave her a final warning.

"There was trouble setting them free…they’re wary, skittish, they’ve been through a lot... I know you’re excited but please be gentle when you speak to them, be calm and keep your distance please they’re so easy to startle."

Meanwhile the boys waited at the temple with Narinder, who, for the hundredth time, asked if they were certain they were ready for this. Though it'd been 2 months, the toll of dying so traumatically via turning to ash, of being trapped in the gateway, the trauma of resurrection, the fear of being alone without their parents because that's what he and Anthea were to them, Narinder had wanted them to wait as did Anthea. The boys could hardly sleep without at least one of them there with them in bed, were just starting to be ok interacting with other people, could only handle the touch of a select few and even then sometimes would just break down into panic attacks out of seemingly nowhere. They weren't ok, but the boys had insisted. This woman who claimed to love them had been kept in the dark for so long, they felt bad and wanted to try.

They felt guilty for not being ok. Even as Narinder and Anthea repeatedly and gently reminded them that it was alright-that their feelings were valid, that they could take all the time they needed and they'd be right there to support them, the boys had insisted and they just couldn't deny them their choice.

But once Forneus arrived no one got the chance to even properly introduce the boys to her-she just saw them, ran towards them for the reunion she dreamt up, swept them into her arms, and next thing she knew she had two yowling, struggling kits trying to break from her hold. In her excitement and in not listening to Anthea's warnings she'd done the worst thing anyone could've done-she was louder, bigger, stronger, scarier than them, and as the kids managed to shock her into dropping them suddenly Baal was hyperventilating, and Aym was working himself into a panic attack. And Narinder and Anthea, having two months practice in calming them like this, and having long been the twin's safe people, immediately fell into place. Narinder got Baal, Anthea got Aym, and Forneus could only watch.

Could only watch as Baal started gasping for Dad as Narinder tried to get him to breathe, as Aym started sobbing for Baba and practically tried to bury himself in their embrace, as her babies looked at her in fear and clung to someone else.

And then all she can feel is anger. She'd waited 300 years-those boys were hers. Why are they clinging to someone else?

From there it just becomes a mess, she gets into a very loud, very heated argument with Narinder especially for 'stealing' her sons which just scares the boys more, and in a very poor move tries to just grab one of them which prompts Anthea to use a show of godly power and threaten her to get out of the Cult which she does since a crowd has also formed (the Cult was ALL aware of the twin's poor mental state, and they'd all grown very protective of the community's first children despite having to keep their distance because by gods those kids deserved more than what fate had given them).

Forneus leaves angry, and Narinder and Anthea now got two kits who had been tentatively healing temporarily back at square one, and who are now gonna start having nightmares of a stranger taking them away on top of preexisting ones.

I wanna note that Forneus isn't a bad person. She isn't, but she's also not used to things not going her way. As a vessel she was 'Lady Luck', she who rarely died, who always had the upper hand, who would pop curse shots at the Goddess of Famine for fun and be the heartbreaker of her own cult able to flirt and tease and talk her way to whatever she wished. She's kind and cheerful and charismatic sure and she genuinely does want to help people and do the right thing, but there's still this...ignorance, arrogance-that she doesn't even realize is there.

Like how above in Starfall Part 1 she VERY casually mentions how she 'knows what it's like missing her own twins' and 'how 'hard' it must be for Anthea to have nothing of their family to remember them by', but the thing is...she doesn't know. She's so hooked on this idea that she WILL get her boys back that she completely has just ignored the grief that comes with loss entirely this whole time. The way she misses her sons is NOTHING like how Anthea misses their brothers-she misses them like a relative you haven't seen in awhile but will see soon. Anthea misses their brothers because they're DEAD and they know that they will NEVER see the two again, especially now. Like Forneus has not considered how she's lost a LOT of moments with her children. They're still kids yeah but they're not returning to her as blank slates-though physically and mentally 11 they've been with Narinder for over 300 years, that's a lot of time to be without her. She loves them, but kinda more-so the sons she thought she'd get back.

Thus when you've been envisioning this 'perfect' reunion the entire time only for it to not go your way...it's a hard pill to swallow. She gets disappointed/angry understandably-anyone would, but instead of stepping back and realizing she can't fault the boy's feelings she takes it out of the ones who 'took' her place instead, which then turns her into this loud scary bad-guy to the boys.

And Aym and Baal aren't to blame in this situation, like they're kids, and like with my 'great aunt who last saw you as a baby' analogy, it's not their fault they don't immediately love her. She's a stranger-one whom, the more she tried to force interactions via the crown during their imprisonment, seemed to have little interest in them personally and more in whatever children she assumed she'd be getting back. And after that disaster of a first meeting? They don't want anything to do with her she scared them that much.

As for Narinder and Anthea they both feel awful because they understand why Forneus is angry, she only gave them up because she was promised a chance for reunion (though she ignored the CHANCE part of that), but in the same breath Aym and Baal are their sons and they'll take their side first over anyone else's. And the thing is there's nothing that could've been done on their part to prevent this really either.

Anthea telling Forneus the twins had died? Anger, grief, then upon their revival a fierce insistence for the boys to NEVER go near the Lamb or Narinder again, which the twins would've been just as terrified and against.

Narinder not showing care to the kits for those 300 years? They would've gotten attached to him anyway since he was literally all they had, though they might've turned out worse emotionally because of neglect

Telling the boys to wait longer to meet Forneus? She likely would've just shown up on her own within another month anyway since by that point Anthea had just freed Heket from Purgatory and word was starting to get around about the new God of Death so this would've happened but worse.

The only way Forneus could've had the reunion she'd wanted would have been if Narinder never forced the twins to start aging against the stasis. But then there would be two 300+ year old infants, which is a whole other can of worms.

Notes/Explaination

Again I love Forneus in-game she's so adorable and my one of my favorite NPCs to visit, but I also like making imperfect characters, especially parents and their relationships with their children. And while I love the idea of her being this wonderful, sweet, amazing mother, I also like the idea of her being really flawed about it to.

Crimson Angel is about learning to communicate with your loved ones, and in this case, it needs to be her looking at things from the twins view and realizing that if they don't want her in their lives, she has to accept that. She needs to realize that she's not entitled to their love just because she gave birth to them. She also has to let go of the sons she gave up that day-those three day old infants who were perfect little blank slates, and get to know the boys they became without her. She has to realize someone else took her place in their hearts, and realize that if she wants to join them, she HAS to let the boys come to her, and that she has to work on THEIR terms.

She cannot try and force a love if she wants a chance for it at all, and must swallow her pride and listen to others who know the boys better-Anthea and Narinder, alongside the boys themselves.

She'll get a relationship with the boys eventually, but it's not going to be the one she hoped for. She's gotta work on herself first and realize her flaws, maybe get some practice with handling children via unintentionally adopting a certain fan-favorite grave spider kid after finding him all alone, and just...wait. Narinder and Anthea are the twin's primary parents, and while Forneus does eventually get to a place where they're comfortable with her, it's never going to be on the same level, and they all just gotta contend with that.

Boarders are by @/lambouillet

#I love tragic stories can't you tell? Also stories that explorer the relationship between parents and kids-cause a lot of times kids agency #in the relationship is often ignored/taken for granted-they shouldn't be expected to love someone because of blood alone #*beats characters emotions to a pulp* it's for character development I swear!#crimson angel au #cotl #ask #cotl shamura #cotl narinder #cotl aym #cotl baal #crimson angel au lore #cotl forneus #cult of the lamb #my writing

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mywhisperingwords · 23 hours ago

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these three little words | fred g. weasley

summary: four times fred told you he loved you and one time he truly meant it word count: 3.6k masterlist

“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

Fred put a hand on his heart while saying, “You wound me greatly.”

Rolling your eyes, you kept walking, leaving him behind, “And yet you are still alive and well just to annoy me.”

Behind you, you could hear him snickering to himself before he caught up with you.

“Just you, my darling,” he told you, putting his arm around your shoulder, “besides, all I said was that your sudden interest in Potions was quite suspicious. For some unknown reason I doubt that you do it for George and me.”

He put his mouth close to your ear, his hot breath tickling your cheek and the sudden closeness made it hard for you to comprehend the next words he whispered, “One might wonder if some specific professor has anything to do with that.”

It took you a moment, but you finally realized what he meant.

“Are you seriously accusing me of fancying Snape? Snape of all people? Sickening,” you shouted as you pushed him away from you with a revolted expression. “That thought alone makes me want to throw up in your face.”

“Now, now, don’t be so vulgar. Snape is awkwardly handsome, quite old and wise. Maybe he could teach you some things,” he started winking suggestively at you before breaking in a laughing fit.

All you could was stare at him, horrified by the idea alone.

This whole conversation only sparked because you mentioned your study’s that were related to potion making. Which you only took up, to help out with new creations in relation to Fred, and George, of course.

Maybe he wasn’t that far off with the whole fancying idea, he just confused the person you fancied.

“Do you hear that?” he asked abruptly, a serious look on his face, that made your stomach twist in an uncomfortable way.

“What?” you asked, still annoyed but also a bit nervous. You weren’t that far away from the forbidden forest and you never knew what kind of creatures were luring in the shadows.

“I thought I heard,” he paused for a moment, suspension rising, “wedding bells.”

“Merlin, you’re a git,” you moaned.

You swiftly turned away from him and crossed your arms, more annoyed with him and his stupid jokes. Quickly you started walking, trying to get away from him.

Maybe it was your attitude or maybe he just realized that you were done with his jokes at the moment but he immediately went after you.

When he caught up with, he again put his arm on your shoulder, before saying, “Aw, come on. You know I was just joking.”

Ignoring him, you kept on walking in the direction of the castle. You weren’t bothered by his jokes, not really. It’s Fred you’re talking about here, he does not mean any harm — at least not to you.

You were also not upset by his little scare, or maybe a little bit. To be honest, you were not quite sure why you were so agitated currently.

Maybe it was the fact that you spent your free time studying, just for him, and George of course. But mostly for Fred. And all he could do is make a mockery out of it just so he doesn’t have to deal with real feelings.

Because you knew, that he was overwhelmed when you told him your studies were a way of helping him and George with their products. Fred wasn’t someone who asked for help, he’d rather deal with his problems on his own. But he also knew that accepting offered help wasn’t a weakness, especially when it came from you.

You recognized it in the way he got quiet for a moment, avoiding looking at you, his cheeks turning a shade of pink, before starting to joke around.

It was a typical Fred reaction.

“Don’t be like that, darling. I love you, don’t ignore me,” he murmured, pressing his lips against the side of your head.

Sometimes you wondered if he knew, when he said things like that but you were aware of the fact that he only saw you as a friend—he had made that clear numerous times.

“I’ll stop ignoring you if you stop joking about me and Snape,” you told him.

He held up his hands in surrender, “Deal.” Grinning at you, he linked his arm with yours, continuing the way up the hill towards the castle.

After a beat of silence, he interrupted it by saying, “But be honest with me, you fancy him at least a tiny bit, right?”

This time, when you pushed him away, you couldn’t help yourself and let out a laugh at his stupid joke.

Nights like these were your favorite.

Sitting in Gryffindor common room that was buzzing with conversation, around the fireplace with the people who felt like home to you, and Fred, who was so much more.

All the jokes, the laughter and the love that was shared between you made it sometimes difficult to deem this your life—it felt too good to be true.

Angelina was just retelling the story of how her newest fling asked her out, right after he won his quidditch game. The whole school witnessed that slightly awkward scene, but Angelina was head over heels about this public display of affection.

You could see that George was not so fond of these news, he was averting his gaze and seemed to obviously be more than annoyed at Angelina’s pawning about this handsome Hufflepuff boy.

If only George would tell her how he felt, but who were you to judge, considering you could not even tell your best friend about your feelings.

George’s behavior seemed to be obvious to anyone but Angelina, but Lee was the one to finally put George out of his misery and interrupt her speech, “I can’t even fathom what rid that guy to do all that in public.”

Angelina rolled her eyes, while everyone else laughed. “Maybe the fact that he knows what a woman wants?” she said, raising her eyebrow at you, clearly looking for support on this matter.

But you were the wrong one to address, because you couldn’t imagine anything more horrifying than somebody confessing their love for you in front of everyone.

“I understand that you like that kind of thing, but me personally, I think I would die of embarrassment. I don’t want my love to be so out in the open, at the end of the day it’s only between me and that person,” you told her, giving her an apologetic smile.

While trying to convey your thoughts on that matter, you couldn’t help yourself but let your mind wander to the person you always thought about these days it felt like.

Fred was sitting right next to you, but he was not his usual loud and joking self. There was something weighing on his mind and you wished you could just crawl inside it to find out what was wrong.

But you could not, so all you could do was lean to his side and quietly ask him, “Are you alright?”

Your words seemed to have pulled him out of his thoughts, because his eyes locked on yours, he was quiet for a moment, taking his time to think about his answer. He seemed to find it in your face, because he slowly began to grin before jumping out of his seat, interrupting George who was just talking enthusiastically.

Even with everyone’s eyes on him, he seemed to have only eyes for you.

“Oh, dearest lady of mine heart!” he exclaimed, striding toward you with a grand sweep of his arm. The room fell silent, a few chuckles escaping from his friends as he carried on with exaggerated passion.

He took your hand, eyes glinting with mischief as he dropped to one knee. “Thou art as radiant as the morning sun that doth chase away the drear of night,” he intoned, voice dramatic and thick with feigned longing. “Might I but win a single glance of thy affection, my soul would soar higher than the castle towers!”

You bit back a grin, feeling your cheeks heat up as everyone laughed, watching Fred carry on his theatrical performance.

He leaned in, lowering his voice just a touch. “Ah, fair lady, dost thou know what torment ‘tis to sit beside thee, with no claim upon thy heart?” His tone softened, eyes suddenly more serious than playful. “For, alas, thou hast bewitched me in ways I can scarce confess.”

Someone whistled, and George called out, “Go on, Freddie! Pour your heart out!”

With a smirk, Fred straightened and gave a bow. “Then, my fair one, grant me but a single smile, and I shall know all is well with my heart—for it beats for thee alone.”

You were staring holes into the ceiling, wide awake.

That wasn’t a rarity these days.

The impending war was hanging over your head, the uncertainty these days was keeping you up most nights nowadays. Never knowing if the next day would arrive with word of the beginning of the end.

You were staying at the Burrow, a house that has always felt like a safe place, a second home, to you. Lately it didn’t feel as secure as it used to, only the people occupying the space giving it the feeling of a home.

People were scared and though you tried not to show it, you were too.

Sleep was not going to come, you were sure of that. It has come worse and worse in the last few weeks.

That was the reason for why you would spend most nights in at the porch, looking out at the trees until the sun would rise and the rest of the house would wake up.

Some nights Fred would catch you up, not being able to rest himself, so he’d keep you company for a while, until sooner or later falling asleep on the floor next to you.

He would sometimes try to lighten the mood, trying to get you to laugh. Trying to put a smile on your lips, to make these times feel less daunting. And other times he would just sit in silence next to you, watching the sunrise. That’s when you would know that even Fred himself was struggling with being hopeful.

But you would never talk about it, because that would mean that this was real. The possibility of death and loss might not just be that — a possibility.

This night was different than the others and you couldn’t quite pinpoint why that was.

Maybe the reason was, that Fred was already out of bed. Normally you would be the first to come downstairs and he would soon after follow. Sometimes you would swear that he would just listen for your footsteps down the hallway, before he would emerge from his room.

This time when you walked down the stairs, you saw that the side door was slightly open.

When you walked by the kitchen window, you could see Fred sitting outside, staring at the night sky.

He did not acknowledge your presence when you took a seat next to him. All he did was continue to stare at the stars that shone so brightly, even in times like these, looking deep in thought.

After a few minutes of silence, his quiet question was a startling reminder that this fight was taking a constant toll on everyone, even the ones filled with happiness.

“Don’t you wish that it would all just end?”

You did not expect a question like this from him, the one person in this world that always had a hopeless optimism, no matter how bad things looked, he was the one that always said that things can only get better, even with a dagger in his heart.

There was no answer, that you could give him. At least not one, that he did not already know himself.

After a long moment of silence, where you admired the clear night-sky, you told him in a soft voice, “The stars are beautiful tonight.”

“Yes, yes they are,” he agreed, but when you looked over at him, his gaze wasn’t directed towards the sky, no, it was directed at you.

All you could do was stare back at him, and listen to the beating of your heart. You swore, if you stopped breathing, you could also pick up the beat of his.

“I love you,” he whispered and the beating of your heart stopped, for only a second, “You’re my best friend.”

How strange it was to feel anything at all.

You were bleeding.

A few moments before, you got hit, you think, you couldn’t remember when it happened exactly.

All you could do was to keep going, ignoring the humming pain at your side. The adrenaline pumping in your veins was keeping you from thinking clearly, acknowledging the deep wound.

The one and only thing that was on your mind, was Fred.

Ever since you heard his name leaving someone’s lips, mentioning that he was hurt, severely, all you could do was look for him in every face that laid on the ground. So many bodies, so many souls that have left before their time.

You felt guilty, that every time you did not see his face on any of the bodies, you felt a sense of relief.

With every turn you took, people were trying desperately to make it out alive. It was a miracle that you were even still alive at this point, with the way you were running past Death Eaters without a care in the world.

It was in the Great Hall where you finally found him, sitting on one of the gurneys.

Without a second thought, you ran towards him, engulfing him in your arms, needing to make sure that he was real and not just a figment of your imagination. There was too much demise for you not to consider that you yourself have already passed.

But when Fred put his arms around you and pulled you against his body you knew that this was real, because it hurt like hell. He was pressing against the wound on your side and you were hurting him too, you must be, given the state he was in. But not any of this mattered when you felt so secure in his arms.

“What were you thinking?” you muttered in his neck, not wanting to let go of him, “You could be dead.”

Fred’s ghost of a laugh brushed the skin of your cheek, leaving a haunted touch. His response to your worries was unconcerned, “I’m not.”

His carelessness made you push him from you, turning your head to the side, so he couldn’t catch a glimpse of the tears welling in your eyes when you whispered, “But you could’ve been.”

The realization hit you at once. There was a sudden urge to just scream your soul out, as you acknowledged that there was a possibility that you could not be sitting here with Fred.

But you did not lash out, no, you broke down. The adrenaline rush and the fear of losing Fred was leaving your body at once and you began crying, not being able to hold them in any longer.

There were so many emotions you were feeling in this moment, guilt for not staying with Fred, anger at anyone who harmed him, and panic for everything you have endured to still be alive.

Fred reached out his hand, taking ahold of yours, muttering sweet nothings to you, “I’m okay, hey, I’m okay.” But you wouldn’t hear it, even if his words rang true. The idea of finding a lifeless Fred in the Great Hall was still to raw. All he could do to comfort you, was to hold you, and he did as he continued to whisper, “I’m right here, alive and breathing.”

You heard his words but you did not recognize them, too caught up with sorting through the mess of your mind. But his next words finally got through to you, because he confessed with a low voice and a soft smile, “I love you too much to just leave you like that.”

Only a few moments later, he noticed the blood on your shirt, a fearful expression on his face as he saw your exhausted eyes, yelling out, “I need a healer. Now!”

Something shifted between the two of you after the war, you could feel it in the air, almost being able to touch it with your bare hands.

It was in the way he looked at you, like you would vanish the moment he looked away, and the way he touched you, the way he refused to let go of you, like he feared that you might fade away from his life.

As if he wasn’t the one that could’ve almost slipped away from you.

Maybe it was a reassurance to him, to feel that he was still here, alive and breathing.

To you it was torture. Never before has he been so close to you, yet so far. It was cruel, if you were being honest.

You had taken on the responsibility of helping out with the shop, with Fred healing and George being overwhelmed with the workload, it only made sense.

That was at least what you told yourself. The whole truth was, that you too were scared that if you only for a second turned around that he would be gone. That it had all only been a dream, and Fred had not survived the war but had succumbed to his injuries.

But he had.

It was a day like the one before, you sat next to Fred in the office after the shop had closed, looking over some of the paperwork.

You worked in silence next to one another, but all you fixate on was the way his thigh was plastered on your thigh, the way his arm was pressing right into your arm. It was hard to tell where you began and he ended, everything was blended together and you loathed it.

You hated it, because it was everything you ever wanted, but it looked wrong, misshapen.

“When I was talking to George earlier, he asked if you were staying over again, I told him that you were,” he mumbled, not looking up from his work.

That had been another thing that had been creeping into your new everyday without you noticing it at first. You spend most of your time at their flat, only going to yours to get the mail and water your plants, that were slowly rotting away with the amount of times you were actually around to take care of them.

Like so many other things, it had been unspoken. An unspoken agreement between you, that was just there.

Just like it had been unspoken that you would no longer spend the night on the living room sofa and instead on Fred’s bed, when he saw the uncomfortable sleep you would have on that sofa. Which was not completely true, because it wasn’t the sofa keeping you awake, it was the nightmares.

It was a day like this, long ago, when instead of letting you go left to the living room, he gently took your hand and lead you into his room. Neither of you said a word, when you got ready for bed. You just laid down together, taking comfort in one another, while holding onto each other.

You did not talk about, how you slept better together, or how the nightmares were fewer now. That was just another thing that sneaked its way into your everyday routine.

So when you walked up the stairs into his flat, that felt more like home to you than your own home, you did not say anything, because it was just the way things were now.

And you did not say anything, when you two stood in his tiny bathroom and undressed for bed, because it was just the way things were now.

And you did not say anything, when you crawled into his bed, onto your side, because it was just the way things were now.

But when he put his arms around you, and whispered those three words into your ear, like it was just a part of your new normal, you could not keep quiet any longer.

“Don’t say that, please, don’t say that. Not if you don’t mean it,” you whimpered into the darkness of the night.

He tightened his grip on you, whispering “But I do mean it.”

You were shaking, and with a raw throat you told him the truth, “Not in the way I want you to.”

“In what way do you want me to mean it?” he asked, voice soft.

“In every way.”

He put his lips on your neck, “I do, in every way.”

For the first time in, what felt like years, you finally let go. You let go of all that pain you endured over the years, all of the confusion and agonizing fear you felt. Sobbing into the arms of the man that you have loved, long before you even knew what love truly meant.

And all he did, was hold you together, so you could fall apart, continuing to whisper these words in your ear.

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nevertheless-moving · 3 days ago

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Jiang Wanyin's Dog Part Two (MDZS AU #7)

Part One

Jiang Feinman the diplomat is horrified that his sons were apparently actively training for war behind his back. And by all accounts, his worst fears are confirmed — he who trains for war trains to start war. He only believes half of what he hears of his boys actions at the Wen Indoctrination Camp (the Xuanwu Cave Massacre, some are calling it) but half is enough. Incredibly disappointed in both of them — also why demonic cultivation? Why? Where did he go wrong? But for some reason the more he tries to talk, to teach, to explain, the more he warns about the unrighteousness of striking first, the worse their conversations go. He's used to that with Jiang Cheng, but now Wei Ying, too? The more he pushes, the less they tell him, so eventually he stops pushing.

(They actually did initially intend to explain the time travel, but he was so disappointed by all the murdering that neither of them want to get into all the much much more worse things they did in their previous life so they just…don't. They don't explain shit.)

He still supports the secret Jiang war preparations cover story, pretending to have approved it in advance to other sects, because what else can he do. Really not thrilled about being backed into a corner on that, even though he does eventually accept and even admire the invention of the ghost path, once Wei Wuxian explains it better. Wei Wuxian maybe cries a little at his Uncle's approval.

Too much faith that the whole perfect servant/ master schtick is a front for brotherhood even before the actual reconciliation, but eh, they get there eventually, so he’s not wrong. Manages the homefront during the campaign mostly, though he has his moments of battlefield glory. Major diplomatic success in getting the Jin Sect to side more definitively with the sunshot campaign.

…Definitely dies. Not right away, but he's not meant for war, ya know? Maybe gets the actual time travel explanation on his death bed. Maybe. Touching goodbye either way.

Then, you know that scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams says it’s not your fault over and over again? That, except Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin are both saying it to each other. Clinches the reconnection. It’s the worst sort of do over, but Jiang Cheng blaming Wei Ying for his parents first deaths was one of their lowest moments, arguably the point things really started to break between them, so having the perspective to very actively not do that is Big. I’m sorry — this au is about excruciating Yunmeng bros reconciliation, I’ve got to kill at least one family member.

Yu Ziyuan approving of the cool distance between the two, proud of her son’s obvious command over Wei Ying, but disgusted by the fact that her son seems to have completely given up on surpassing him. Flabbergasted that A-Cheng is now intercepting Zidian’s strikes on the shameful cretin — his to punish?? What the fuck does that mean? Who’s in charge here? How dare you speak to your mother like that.

Ultimately, Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to handle being around his mother. He recognizes many of the things he likes least about himself in her. He recognizes many of the things that made him a successful sect leader in her. I mean, on a certain level he already knew he had become his mother, but holy shit.

She's...mixed on handling her son's ascent, to say the least. The fact that his unquestionable power is so inextricably linked to his command over Wei Ying's even more unquestionable power fucks with her so bad. At least Jiang Cheng had some time to get used to the concept.

He's in his late 30s and bristles at any indication of being subordinate to anyone — Mom's included. He also wants to break down in tears and hide behind her, because that's his MOM, but he can’t do that. He’s sect heir. He's started a war. He's leading a war.

Ok, one (1) night crying into her robes that they never speak of again.

She tends to run battlefields and missions away from the duo. Serious pushback from Jiang Cheng about talking down Wei Ying in front of others, purely for pragmatic reasons, of course — that’s their sects best weapon. If she survives the war ("So what if he's not coming back? Can't I do anything without him?") then she spends much of her son’s rule night hunting away from the sect. Does NOT get told about time travel any time soon because they know she would press for details and then kill Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Yanli incredibly concerned about her boys after they come back from evil summer camp covered in blood and VERY CLEARLY WAY TOO FUCKED UP FOR A FEW MONTHS AWAY?? Excuse you both you are very clever but are you seriously trying to convince me that you invented a whole ass entire dangerous cultivation path while I was around without me noticing? A-xian, a-cheng are you calling me stupid? No? Good.

On a meta-level, she's built her life around parenting the two of them, there's absolutely no way she buys any story about keeping a long time secret under her nose. The first and possibly only one they actually explain the time travel to, even if they can’t bring themselves to tell her everything.

It's deeply distressing to not actually be the oldest sibling anymore, considering how much she defined herself by that, but her brothers don't actually seem to have noticed, so it works out fine.

Her role in the war is slightly larger than canon; the fact that she's bringing an entire support staff of cooks and medics and cleaners that report to her definitely elevates her status and influence. (Headcanon that she basically managed Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian's PR during the war — she's a lot better equipped to do so in this timeline).

She also would also get Instant Respect as one of a handful of people who holds Wuxian's leash, except Wei Wuxian tends to completely drops all necromantic activity when he's within 50 feet of her. It's actually kindof a problem. He's supposed to be passively maintaining some stuff but he's so freaked out about accidentally hurting her that a few perfectly good corpse armies collapse, meaning he has to raise them again from scratch.

They don't get too involved with it, but a few well timed words avoid the worst of the Soup Accusation Debacle and slightly accelerate the Zixuan/Yanli timeline.

Jin Zixuan is bewildered but mostly relieved by the fact that the lead Jiang disciples abrupt personality shift at the start of the war also came with an apparent rise in personal respect of him specifically? Is this because he obviously stepped to defend Mianmian, even though Wanyin and Wuxian did the real work? Jiang Wanyin is noticeably more courteous speaking to him than pretty much anyone else from his clan. Wei Wuxian is a bit harder to read, as he's stopped talked as much, which is bizarre and also fucking terrifying.

(There's a lot to think and feel in the Cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter. But the fact that Wei Wuxian does not like him and absolutely could have killed him anytime he wanted is definitely up there.)

It's just — even further into the war, when Wuxian starts sometimes relaxing again during downtime, he still avoids Zixuan. Weird but also thank fuck.

Lan Zhan is living through a war, sure. But uniquely among his peers, he's also living through a Dark Romance novel! <3

The fun, mischievous boy who he fell in love with at first sight is:

1) the most terrifying powerful dark being who ever lived

2) mildly implied to have ALWAYS secretly been like this and the disobedient but good natured thing was just a cover for the dark truth. Or he might have been corrupted at some point. It's unclear.

3) already in an intense situation-ship with his shidi. (Jiang Wanyin snapping at Wei Ying to stop bothering Lan Zhan and he apologizes politely and then leaves. (Wei Ying definitely yells at Jiang Cheng in private for that but they did agree that he wouldn’t give any public evidence of division with the Jiang sect and publicly flirting with Second Master Lan could admittedly be read as split loyalties)) .

But IN PRIVATE —

(Once the yunmeng bros reconciliation starts getting underway Jiang Cheng feels a little bad about how obviously heartbroken Wei Ying is over losing his husband, and formally arranges with Lan sect for spiritual cleansing sessions after major battles as part of managing his first disciple’s cultivation. Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng are completely surprised when Lan Wanjii himself volunteers.)

— Well, when the two of them are alone together, Wei Ying is — not exactly the same person he fell in love with. But he’s still very much Wei Ying. Teasing, provocative, brilliant, righteous — and, and this can’t be stressed enough — OBSCENELY sexy.

(Yes, Lan Zhan has learned that his bad taste extends beyond what was, in hindsight, rather petty rule breaking. The whole 'One Man Army' thing is attractive alright? The flute is attractive. Gods help him, even the red eyes are attractive.)

But in private — I mean, the first few times Lan Zhan walks in to play Cleansing only to find Wei Ying tied up provocatively from a ‘binding talisman accident’ he takes it at face value. The man's been churning out one revolutionary invention after another, obviously that requires some testing. But it keeps happening, and Lan Zhan is increasingly panicked that Wei Ying can tell what its doing to his penis. He can’t tell, right? Lan Zhan is wearing extra layers to these sessions for that reason exactly and it’s not like his face is easy to read. He can’t know about what he's dreamed of doing with his ribbon. He can't know. He can’t know.

But shit like that keeps happening. Wei Ying casually mentions that he’s been working on a ritual that might make it possible for men to get pregnant, just as an idle experiment, but of course the only ethical person to test it on is himself. Lan Zhan’s dick gets so hard so fast that he almost passes out. Wei Ying, clearly mistaking the sudden lack of visible blood in his body for disgust (please let him think that, please, please) pouts and teases, “What, you don’t think I’d look good pregnant?” Gods be good, he’s holding his stomach and looking up at Lan Zhan through his eyelashes. Lan Zhan didn't even know he was into that! Does this make him more of a cutsleeve or less?? Very nearly goes insane and tries to breed him on the spot. Instead makes a looney toons style Lan Zhan shaped hole in the side of the tent to get away before he bends the man over

Even setting aside the...specifically affecting moments, Wei Ying is so exhausted and soft around Lan Zhan. It makes sense, he's been conquering battlefields, he's been reinventing cultivation, of course he's drained afterwards, that's why Lan Zhan is here — to help rebalance his spiritual energy. But he begs Lan Zhan to take care of him, to feed him, to help him into bed, and it hurts. He knows that it's at least in part a joke but he can't tell how much is him exaggerating his weakness to get Lan Zhan to react and how much is him actually needing help because Jiang fucking Wanyin is ordering him to destroy himself day in and day out, and the whole thing is doing terrible things to the inside of his stomach.

Worry and confusion and fear and anger choking his words even worse than usual, until all he can do is repeat rules about staying away from the crooked path. Lan Zhan scolds him for using resentful energy, sneers at him; he can hear himself and he sounds every inch the jade statue. But somehow, miraculously, Wei Ying understands what he means. He thanks him for being there, for caring what happens to him. Wei Ying tries to reassure him that he'll be alright, really, and how he got 'I am worried about your health' from "your way of living is an abomination" is a mystery, but Lan Zhan is so, so grateful.

Wait.

Fuck.

Wei Ying can either read his face, his words, or his thoughts. FUCK, HE TOTALLY KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING TO MY PENIS.

In public, Wei Wuxian is obediently violent. He's heretical and hyper competent and the only thing that distresses Lan Zhan more than Jiang Wanyin's callous treatment of his undeserved loyalty and talent is the fact that he's starting to wake up in a cold sweat from dreams where Lan Zhan is his leader and Wei Ying follows his orders without hesitation. What does that even mean. He doesn't want to be a sect leader! That would mean that his brother was dead and he would have to talk to people all the time and he doesn't even want Wei Ying to kneel before him! Not like that — not at all — fucking hell, he should not be masturbating this much during a war.

(Not explaining the time travel/ marriage to Lan Zhan is definitely their worst argument after coming back. Difficult compromise says Wei Ying can explain whatever, marry whoever, leave the sect — but only after the war is won and Jiang Sect is secure. Jiang Wanyin does not need Lan Zhan trying to convince Wei Ying to give up demonic cultivation any harder than he already is. He doesn't need him weighing in on shit he doesn't understand with his more-righteous-than-you-attitude. Most importantly, he definitely doesn't need Wei Ying to be running of after his husband when he's supposed to be obeying Jiang Cheng's fucking orders. Wei Ying reluctantly agrees, but he can't give up on having something with Lan Zhan. The end result is maybe a little not great to Lan Zhan, but you know... what's Wei Ying gonna do? Betray his brother's trust? Not chase Lan Zhan's dick? It's an impossible situation and you should feel bad for him. Plus, Lan Zhan's having a hard enough time anyway, he's not good with chang. He would probably not handle having the 'died and then married' bombshells dropped on him particularly well. Yeah...

Anyway Lan Zhan is very much going through 'he's such a tortured soul...only I see the vulnerable, loving truth... unless the soft self is the lie and the darkness is the real him... which would be kindof hot... bad, but also kindof hot... because if he actually is irredeemably evil than everything he does in private is him seducing me on purpose, which would be good except it would be a lie which would be bad but maybe he would do things to my body before he did whatever dark demonic things hes planning ... maybe I could convince him to join the light in truth... no i should have more faith in him he clearly still believes in justice and protecting the weak... unless that actually is at Jiang Wanyin's orders but I'm 80% sure that's a lie and Wei Ying is actually the one insisting we don't take food from farmers without repaying them and I'm even more certain he's the one making sure we accept Wen surrenders... I'm a terrible person for doubting the moments we've shared...

Lan Zhan eventually has a minor emotional breakdown and goes to his brother for advice.

The straw that breaks the camels back is working himself into a panic that Wei Ying might be trying to get him to kill his own brother. It's just... he keeps having sect leader/loyal guard sex dreams. They've been getting more elaborate. There's leather for some reason. And then one time his spiritual energy is too depleted after a battle and Xiongzhang covered his cleansing session, and Lan Zhan had to lay in bed healing. Laying there for hours imagining Wei Ying call Xichen 'gege' and get all soft limbed the way he does in his tent after battle... asking to put his head in Xichen's lap. Wearing just his inner robes around Xichen. The intensity of the rage leads him to suspect a dark spell. (It's just vinegar and lust and the cain instinct, but again, Lan Zhan is going through it.)

Lan Xichen hearing the stripped down version of all this like... honey. Sweet child. What the actual fuck.

Yes, I'm sure he's different when he's with you but... Wanjii. Wanjii, please. Think with your brain, not — I am not the one bringing vulgarity into this, don't look at me like that. A-Zhan. No, brother, you can't 'fix' him. Wanjii why even ask me for advice if you're just going to keep doing the same thing.

Xichen really already had enough on his plate before learning that Wei Wuxian is playing psychsexual mind games with his little brother for nefarious reason.

To be fair to Xichen, he absolutely is doing that, even though it's only half on purpose. But those nefarious end goals are in fact sex and marriage, something he's CONFIDENT Lan Zhan would enjoy! Look, Wei Ying knows he could have sat on Lan Zhan's dick day one, even before establishing a real emotional connection, even before providing some evidence that he's not a literal demon seducing him into darkness. He feels he's showing an awful lot of unappreciated restraint in allowing Lan Zhan to come to him when he's ready to move past the whole 'raising undead armies' and 'upending the natural order' and 'my family will never approve' things.

(alright, it hurts more than he cares to admit to himself to see Lan Zhan look at him with fear, with disgust. He's sticken with worry and grief that without their experience in the Xuanwu Cave something fundamental will be missing between them. But it doesn't take too long before Lan Zhan says something so Lan Zhan that it assures him the care and love is still there. Its not the same but Lan Zhan still insists on following him around during the campaign, which means the chance to create New memories side by side and it's...good.)

Plus, younger Lan Zhan is so much easier to fluster and its INCREDIBLY fun to have the upper hand. The man has not finished developing his thick face — he misses his husband like a limb, like an organ, but the younger model squirms so good.

WAY too much of this is relayed to Jiang Cheng during their daily war strategy/ bro gossip sessions.

I actually think Jiang Cheng, in exchange for being the sole person who has to listen to Wei Ying’s (often graphic) pining over Lan Zhan, should get to out his brother.

He should get to out him a few times! For fun and for profit. It’s like wingman-ing, but bitchy, which is I think very in character. Wei Ying is either amused by the various reactions, or in the case of Lan Zhan, genuinely thankful. Sure ‘letting lan zhan come to me when he’s ready and more cool with the ghostly path’ is maybe the right thing to do, but it kinda sucks ass. Also Lan Zhan might actually have a lust induced Qi deviation if he doesn't fuck Wei Ying soon, though you would think that leaving a conspicuously large jade phallus laying around would be enough of a hint. Whatever, let's throw some black powder on that slow burn!

Jiang Cheng implies he might be open to marry Wei Wuxian out of the sect after the war. Sect leaders ‘causally’ asking what sort of girl his ridiculously OP and perfectly servile first disciple might be interested in. Jiang Cheng nonchalantly describing Lan Wanjii to a T (tall, strong in cultivation, musically talented, more inclined to listen than to talk...) while Lan Wanjii pretends not to have accidentally bitten through a spoon.

Someone trying to offer their daughter to the Jiang Clan ("I noticed your young master Wuxian couldn’t help but compliment her beauty—“ “He compliments everyone's beauty. Don’t take it seriously.”). Lan Zhan happens to be there, waiting for an unrelated meeting, and Jiang Cheng can't help but take the opportunity to fuck with him.

Jiang Cheng: Ridiculous petition, don’t you think. Lan Zhan: Mn. Jiang Cheng: As if I’d approve a marriage with everyone my shixiong flirts with. Lan Zhan: Mn. Jiang Cheng: (Pausing while he waits for Lan Zhan to take a sip of tea): He’s obviously a cut sleeve anyway. Lan Zhan: [choking]

After the immediate joy of watching the younger Jade lose his composure, there is later regret because Wei Wuxian is thanking him for giving Lan Zhan a push and. Ugh.

Jin Zixuan on the other hand accidentally gets convinced that Wei Wuxian is in gay love with Jiang Wanyin, while Jiang Wanyin sees Wei Wuxian as a brother, a dynamic Zixuan works very hard to avoid thinking about.

The two sect heirs are having a post battle drink (things weren’t bad between him and the peacock, at the end at least, and it might help things in the future (visiting future nieces and nephews) if they could at least be amicable acquaintances).

The evening's going well enough that Jin Zixuan works up the courage to awkwardly ask about rumors of a betrothal between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli. Wanyin surprises Zixuan by laughing, instead of getting incandescently angry. Sure, they’ve been drinking, but he didn’t even yell! At all! Jiang Wanyin, still laughing, leans it and confideds that Wei Wuxian has been in love with the same man for years.

Zixuan, shocked: "Wait a man? He’s —" Wanyin, taking another drink: "No sleeves." Zixuan, slightly confused why he’s even being told what's obviously a politically valuable secret: “Who—" Wanyin, forgetting that Wei Ying’s mooning over Lan Zhan is not actually that public, and Lan Zhan’s staring at Wei Ying just looks like glaring unless you’ve been unfortunately coached on reading his microexpressions. Also forgetting that people do not generally understand exactly what’s going on between the Jiang Sect’s heir and first disciple, except that it’s weird and intense: “Take a FUCKING guess” Zixuan: “Holy shit — you mean — oh man, that’s — Wanyin: “Yeah. You’re not the one who has to live with him.” Zixuan: “Couldn’t you — I mean does he have to be here — couldn’t he operate on different battlefields— Wanyin, suddenly enraged: the FUCK does that mean?? Zixuan: What? What did I — Wanyin: you got a PROBLEM with my cutsleeve brother?!? Zixuan: I thought — I thought you — did you say brother — Wanyin: FUCK YOU! Zixuan: I don’t — Wanyin: You think being a demonic rabbit stops him from being my brother?? Zixuan: I didn’t say — Wanyin: This is why your siblings are going to hate you! Zixuan: I — my — what do you mean siblings?? Wanyin: You don’t just — I’m not gonna — you don’t just abandon family! You don’t — you don’t send them away! You don't let them leave and face danger on their own! You don’t abandon them! It doesn’t matter if they’re a cutsleeve pervert or too into murdering people to solve problems! Got it? Zixuan: Alright, fine, sorry — Wanyin: GOT IT?!? Zixuan: Alright! Alright, I got it! Wanyin, sitting back down, muttering: Maybe if you were a better brother your half siblings won’t fuck everything up. Zixuan: what? Wanyin: Let’s get this straight — I get to make fun of Wei Wuxian. But until you marry our sister you don’t get to say shit. Zixuan: I — marry — no one said I — there’s no — Wanyin: GOT IT??T? Zixuan: Okay! Okay, I got it!

Jin Zixuan is extremely relieved to spend the rest of the night drinking in silence.

Close to the end of the war someone messes with their privacy talismans while snooping. So their daily checkin gets overheard and a bunch of people hear them bicker like children (threatening to pee in each other’s socks comes up) and laugh about someone's stupid hat, and trade jokes over a meal, which ruins their Untouchably Intense And Threatening Aura somewhat but honestly the aura was a bit much. Like, we’re allies, aren’t we?

Honestly a relief for a lot of people to find out they’re just teen brothers who are good at killing and putting on a very convincing facade (Wei Wuxian literally calls it his ‘scary face’). ALSO Jiang Cheng makes fun of Wei Ying for his super embarrassing crush, “So he actually greeted you in public! When should I expect a marriage offer?!’” which Wei Ying responds to by describing how lonely his butthole is and the various objects he’s been using to makes himself feel less forlorn, which Jiang Cheng responds to with wretching and throwing things.

So that’s some fun gossip.

(Xichen in particular is relieved that his brother hasn't wildly misjudged Wei Ying's true character, and that the Lan Sect probably isn't going to get subsumed by the Jiang)

The wider cultivation world eventually (post war) gets the explanation that Wei Wuxian can remember his past lives and that’s why he’s Like That.

Life One heavily implied to be evil warlord inventor with some connection to the burial mounds, possibly creating them, who was so reviled as to be wiped from the history texts, fracturing his soul to where Meng Po’s soup leaks out. So that explains a lot. Makes way more sense than someone inventing a whole new cultivation path at seventeen, haha.

Life Two heavily implied to be happy wife of a respected cultivator, which...huh.

(past life husband eventually revealed to be Lan Wanjii’s past reincarnation, who did not remember this but is unfortunately still in love. The public finds the story unbelievably romantic. His family is not thrilled. The cultivation world has mixed).

Timeline on all this unconfirmed. Amount of time in-between reincarnations indeterminate, he doesn’t remember. Will tell anyone who asks too many details about being an excellent wife — apparently he gave his husband a beautiful son but seriously don’t ask because he WILL cry and it’s very disturbing. Vaguely implies that he could be any number of people's grandmother.

Smaller number of people know that Jiang Wanyin also remembers his past lives to some extent, but he won’t talk about it. Wei Wuxian very solemnly whispering to fascinated cultivators that when he went insane in his first life Jiang Wanyin lead an army to stop him and that’s why he trusts him so much to keep under control as his leader now. I repeat: Jiang Wanyin will NOT be taking questions.

My MDZS AU Masterlist

#Mdzs #mo dao zu shi #yunmeng siblings #Wangxian #My au #Mdzs au no 7 #oh this is long #long post #Jiang Wanyin's dog #One of my favorite things about wei wuxian is that he deeply values truth but also can and will lie about absolutely anything to anyone #For reasons ranging from 'emotional sanctity' to 'thought it would be funny'#i can't express how much i cackle imagining Lan Zhan's experience during this

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ot8xbangchansgirlsblog · 4 hours ago

Text

Warning: Angst/MPreg/MxM

A/B/O dynamics:

Omega (Han, Felix, Y/n)

Beta (Hyunjin, Seungmin, I.N)

Alpha (Chan, Changbin, Leeknow)

The series might traumatize you. I really hope you guys like it and enjoy it.

Summary - Request; I've just been reading your A/B/O series and it's so so so good. I was wondering if you would accept an ot8 request where their omega gets in trouble with another pack and Straykids are really worried?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Felix, stop,” Chan’s voice was stern, a clear warning as he watched the omega slowly waddle down the pavement of their driveway, his swollen belly heavy with the weight of their pup. Felix's pace was slow, labored, but determined—he wasn't going to stop.

"Leave me alone, Chan," Felix sobbed, his voice breaking as he pressed a hand to his stomach, still not used to the extra weight. He stumbled, barely able to maintain his balance. God, curse this swollen fit, curse this heavy bump.

“Felix, I said stop now,” Chan growled, his patience thinning as he quickly closed the gap between them. In one swift motion, he stepped in front of Felix, blocking his path. He grabbed Felix's arms firmly, stopping him from going any further.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Chan’s voice was laced with frustration, his chest rising and falling with every breath. His eyes glowed an eerie red, betraying just how furious he was. “Do you see how late it is? Do you not care about what’s out there? Have you learned nothing?!”

Felix flinched at the sharpness in Chan’s voice. His heart raced as he tried to push past the rising panic.

“I don’t care, okay?” Felix choked out, his voice cracking as tears spilled down his cheeks. “No one wants me… nobody wants this—" he motioned to his swollen belly, “—not even her.”

Chan’s expression faltered for a moment, confusion flashing across his face before anger took over. “Are you crazy? What do you mean, ‘no one wants you’? Are we nothing to you? Your packmates? Your family?” His tone dropped low, dangerous, the words more of a growl than a question.

Felix lowered his gaze, eyes clouded with shame. He couldn’t bear to look his alpha in the eye. He knew he was in trouble—knew he couldn’t fight back against Chan when he was like this. He was the head alpha for a reason.

"I—I just..." Felix stumbled over his words, the weight of his guilt too much to bear. "Is it my fault? Is it my fault she feels so bad, Hyung? Am I the reason she’s in pain? She can’t even look at me…" He broke down then, collapsing in on himself, chest heaving with sobs, tears choking his words.

Chan’s anger melted into something softer, something more tender. He pulled Felix into his arms, cradling him gently. "Oh, baby," Chan murmured, his voice now calm, reassuring. His red eyes softened, returning to their normal color as he wiped away the tears from Felix's cheeks. "It’s not like that… She… she’s just lost something that you have, something she can’t process right now. I’m sure it’s not because of you…"

"But what if she resents me? What if she resents our pup?" Felix's voice cracked, a raw, painful whisper. "I want her to be with me, Hyung. I don’t want her to be against me. I don’t want this to tear us apart..." His omega's voice trembled with fear and sorrow, his hands clutching at Chan’s shirt, desperate for comfort.

Chan sighed deeply, holding Felix closer. "I promise she’ll come around," he said firmly, voice full of conviction. "She’ll come back to you, Lix. She won’t regret the pup. You saw how excited she was when you first told everyone—her omega would never allow her to reject you, or the pup…"

Felix shook his head, still unable to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside him. "But Hyung," he whimpered, “I didn’t even think about how she would feel... I feel so guilty. I feel so selfish..." His breath hitched as he spoke. "I just want everything to be okay. I don’t want her to hate me. I don’t want her to hate our child…”

Chan’s heart ached at the vulnerability in Felix’s words. He squeezed him tightly, gently rocking him as he whispered, "Oh, Lixie... Please don’t do this to yourself. Don’t blame yourself for how she feels. You’re not selfish, alright? It’s just... it’s just a lot for her right now. Time will heal, I promise."

Felix’s lips quivered, and he clung to Chan, burying his face in his chest. "I’m sorry," he whispered, voice muffled. "I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean for you to go through this too… I’m sorry we lost the pup. I’m sorry you lost a pup. I know that must hurt so much for you as the pack alpha…"

Chan’s breath hitched. The mention of the lost pup—their lost pup—pierced through him like a knife. This was the first time someone had acknowledged the pain he was carrying, and though his throat burned with unshed tears, he refused to let them fall.

"It's okay, Lix," Chan croaked, voice thick with emotion. “It’s okay. Let’s just... let's just go back inside. It's getting cold out here.” He sighed, pulling off his hoodie and draping it over Felix’s shoulders. "You need to rest. And... you don’t need to go through this alone. I’m here, alright?"

Felix nodded, too exhausted to argue. He pulled the hoodie around him tightly and let Chan guide him back into the warmth of the house.

As they stepped inside, they were met with the chaotic sight of I.N, Seungmin, Han, and Changbin, who had clearly been drinking a little too much. The noise of their laughter echoed from the living room, but it didn’t feel like home—not yet. Not until things were healed, until everyone could find peace.

But for now, they had each other. And that was enough.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Hyunjin?” Y/N’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, as she called out for the beta who was fast asleep beside her. She couldn’t sleep, the medicine she had been given still taking a toll on her body, but at least she was about 50% healed. Even so, it was still draining all of her energy.

She shifted, feeling the dryness in her throat and the tightness in her chest, and let out a small groan. The need to hydrate was becoming unbearable.

“Hyunjin, please wake up,” she begged, but there was no response. The beta remained in deep slumber, his breathing slow and even. Her body ached for water, and the pressure in her bladder made her restless.

With a frustrated sigh, Y/N slowly wiggled out of his grip, careful not to wake him. She shuffled to the bathroom, though the effort felt like a thousand pounds. Before she did anything else, she paused and glanced at herself in the mirror.

The reflection staring back at her was almost unrecognizable—pale skin, unkempt hair, and eyes that were dull with exhaustion. She looked just as horrible as she felt.

Sighing deeply, Y/N didn’t bother to fix herself. It wasn’t like she had the energy. She just wanted to get a drink, go back to bed, and hope to find some peace.

She stood by her bedroom door for a moment, listening for any sounds. Her omega hearing, once sharp and precise, couldn’t pick up much beyond the steady rhythm of breathing in the house. A few snores. That was it.

The house was still asleep.

Satisfaction mingled with hesitation. Y/N knew she was taking a risk stepping out of her room—especially in her current state—but her dry throat wouldn’t let her rest. She could already feel her body betraying her, begging for relief.

With a final breath, she opened the door and, for the first time in days, stepped out of her room.

The hallway felt alien, like she was trespassing on someone else’s territory. She took small, careful steps, her hand brushing against the wall for balance. She felt weak, fragile, and for a moment, unsure of where to even go.

As she moved past the living room, her eyes widened in disbelief. The space was a mess—empty soju bottles littered the coffee table, half-eaten plates of food still sitting on the floor, and crumpled napkins scattered like confetti.

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. Of course, she thought. They haven’t been taking care of themselves.

Moving into the kitchen, Y/N grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filling it with cold water. The moment the liquid touched her dry throat, a wave of relief washed over her. She drank deeply, savoring the sensation, feeling a bit of life return to her.

But then, her eyes scanned the room, taking in the mess around her. Her omega instincts kicked in almost immediately—an overwhelming need to clean, to restore order, to make everything right again. But her body felt so weak, so drained.

She grimaced, disgusted at the sight.

Yuck.

Her omega gagged at the sight of the clutter. She couldn’t help but giggle softly, despite herself. The feeling was so familiar, like a desperate need to nurture taking over. She let out another sigh, this time louder, and then, slowly, she began to clean.

She moved through the kitchen, putting away pots and pans, stacking empty bottles in the recycling bin. Her movements were sluggish, her body feeling like lead, but she couldn’t stop. It was like she was on autopilot. She knew she had to take breaks, but the thought of leaving the house in this state made her skin crawl.

“Who the hell drinks soju on a Wednesday?” she muttered to herself, shaking her head as she picked up yet another empty bottle.

It was when she finished rearranging the pillows in the living room that she heard it—footsteps.

Her eyes widened, and she froze, like a deer caught in headlights. She dropped the last pillow she was holding and turned to face the figure standing in the doorway.

“Y/N?” A rough, groggy voice cut through the silence. “Is that really you?” Chan’s voice sounded like it had been pulled from sleep, full of confusion and concern. He stepped into the room, his eyes scanning her form quickly, disbelief crossing his features.

Y/N couldn’t hide the shame she felt in the pit of her stomach. She had been caught—again.

“I-I uh… Hi,” she whispered shyly, her voice barely above a murmur.

“What time is it?” Chan asked, his brows furrowing as he looked at her, then at the mess she had just cleaned. “Why are you awake? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Y/N felt small under his gaze, and her throat tightened again. “I was thirsty,” she said, keeping her voice soft. “Hyunjin wouldn’t wake up, so I came down… And, well…” She gestured to the tidy room, a small frown tugging at her lips. “You guys haven’t been taking care of yourselves, so I cleaned up a little.”

Chan’s eyes drifted from her to the room around her. He studied her—his gaze flickering between the space and her frail form. The house was now in better shape, but the sight of her, so exhausted, so far from her usual self, made his heart ache.

“Oh…” was all he could say. He didn’t know what else to add.

An awkward silence settled between them, thick with unspoken words. Y/N couldn’t help but feel the weight of it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t how they were supposed to be.

“I’ll head upstairs now… I’m done anyway.” She pouted, her shoulders slumping, her scent souring with sadness. The idea of their love being over, of things not being the way they once were, stung more than she could put into words.

“W-wait!” Chan spoke quickly, his voice tinged with nervousness. “Please don’t go… I mean, can we talk? I mean, if you want to?”

His words were hesitant, but they held an earnestness that made Y/N pause. She turned slowly, her eyes meeting his. The vulnerability in his expression made her chest ache. She could see the pain in his eyes, too.

Y/N hesitated, but finally nodded. “Okay.”

She walked over to the couch and sat down, feeling her body protesting with every step. She leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts before speaking again. “Let’s talk.”

She wasn’t ready. But she couldn’t keep running from him, from them. If she went back into her room, she wasn’t sure when she would face him again.

The silence between them felt heavy, but Y/N knew, somehow, this was the first step.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A/N: chileee- even im not mentally ready for the next chapter. Its going to be SOOO long.

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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 day ago

Note

Did you ever write a meta about the First Wizarding War?

I am just so curious about it, although we know almost nothing of it. I know in fanfictions, people tend to make the war something very open, very active, with the Order fighting the Death Eaters in the streets but it feels... off to me?

Like, first of all, how would they know when the DE attack? By the time they would learn about the attack, it's most likely the DE would already have left. And overall, when you read about the 2nd Wizarding War, they never attack place like Diallon Alley or Hogsmeade, but rather kidnap people like Ollivander and Fortescue. Which make me wonder how Voldemort was able to ask teens James and Lily to join him (like said in JK's interview).

When you read what Arthur said about this war:

"You-Know-Who and his followers sent the Dark Mark into the air whenever they killed. The terror it inspired… you have no idea, you're too young. Just picture coming home and finding the Dark Mark hovering over your house, and knowing what you're about to find inside… Everyone's worst fear… the very worst."

Well, it sounds more like they would attack people at their home, so the DE are more likely to target people when they attack, while they would cause havrock in the Muggle world. Something that made sense since they don't want to destroy the Wizarding World and the wizards.

Although to be fair, it's not like they have much place to attack in the Wizarding world: the only place we know are Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley and the Ministry.

I just have a hard time imagining how the war would be like, considering the Ministry was not taken by Voldemort. It's like this world is too small for a war of that kind.

Also, it makes me wonder what was really the role of the Order? Like what did they do? What kind of mission would they do? How would they know when to intervene? I know Remus had missions with werewolf during the 2nd war, but we don't know if he had the same during the 1st. Sirius was away busy with a mission during Harry's first birthday, but I wonder what he was doing. Was it a last minute battle?

"No, but believe me, they thought Voldemort had the right idea, they were all for the purification of the Wizarding race, getting rid of Muggle-borns and having purebloods in charge. They weren’t alone either, there were quite a few people, before Voldemort showed his true colors, who thought he had the right idea about things… They got cold feet when they saw what he was prepared to do to get power, though. But I bet my parents thought Regulus was a right little hero for joining up at first.”

It's implied people actually thought Voldemort had the right ideas, which makes me wonder if back then, the muggleborns were less accepted. What was the climate that made it happen? Was it that a bit like with jews, which is how Hitler got to powers?

Also the line in bold always interested me because it didn't feel like the Blacks knew about the Horcruxes, so I wonder what else would give them cold feet.

Sorry for the long text, I just never found someone to talk about it. Nobody seems to get me when I try to think too much about how it was like lol

Hello 👋

Honestly, this is really interesting and I have written about the first war as part of my Voldemort analysis here and here and also here and here. And I'm honestly really curious about the timeline of the first war and what exactly the Order and the DE actually did.

I would say you're right about it not being a war. I mean, for a war, you need armies and countries, and there wasn't a single army involved in this war.

The DE are somewhere between a cult and a terrorist organization. In the first war (and in the second one while Voldemort manages them, tbh) their operations are limited to more targeted killings and in general spreading fear and chaos while keeping a not-super-high death tool (in the first war) and avoiding hurting muggles when possible. Like, up until 1979, basically no one died. We have less than 10 unnamed and named characters that might've died before that and the rest died afterwards. Like, almost all deaths happened in the final 3 years of the war.

Then you have the ministry, which doesn't have an army, it has law enforcement. The aurors and DMLE are not an army and don't really function as one. They are trained to catch criminals, not to fight large-scale battles (not that there were any battles in the first war).

The Order, which if we're generous we can call a paramilitary group (but realistically it's a vigilante armed civilian group).

So, it's hardly a war when it's small-scale attacks and skirmishes fought between a cult/terrorist organization, the police, and an armed civilian group. Its timeline and death tool and how it operates as a whole really doesn't fit a war. Well, it's a terror guerilla sort of war, but not your traditional kind of war. The second Voldemort war was more of a real war than the first one, and even that wasn't a traditional war in any sense and I would hardly call it one. But at least it had battles. Like 2.5 of them.

I outlined more of the timeline here with the evidence for it, but in general:

1967ish - Voldemort returns to the UK and has his interview with Dumbledore. At this point, he already has somewhat of a following. Unclear if these were his "friends" from school or their children, but they are likely the older "friends" from school:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempted to secure a teaching post.”

(HBP)

1970 - the war starts.

“You can’t blame them,” said Dumbledore gently. “We’ve had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.”

(PS)

Since Dumbledore says this on November 1981, it means the DE started operating in late 1970. Arthur tells us Death Eaters outnumbered the Order 20 to 1, but I think the Order only started operating later in the decade.

I believe that in the early 70s, they weren't too violent yet. There were some attacks, some chaos similar to what we see in the World Cup perhaps:

I suppose they had a few drinks tonight and couldn’t resist reminding us all that lots of them are still at large. A nice little reunion for them,” he finished disgustedly.

(GoF)

Attacks that strawn fear and unrest and stretched the ministry and the DMLE thin with how many obliviations had to be done — but no one died, not yet. At least, no one important. We know all of the Order members that died were only killed after the infamous photo was taken much later, so it seems in these early days of the war, they didn't really kill anyone perhaps a few muggles here and there (but not as many as the fandom sometimes like to think!) but no wizards died, at least not at first.

I assume this period is mostly marked by small-ish riots and growing normalization of anti-muggle and anti-muggleborn propaganda.

This is the point where Voldemort amassed his followers and purebloods like Walburga and Orion Black thought he had the right idea. Even during the time in the books, muggles are seen as beneath wizards, and muggleborns like Hermione are quietly pressured into not talking about their muggle families because no one cares. Muggleborns like Hermione and Ted Tonks clearly leave their muggle families behind and don't look back and that's accepted as the norm in the wizarding world.

Even in the 90s we see Slughorn is surprised Hermione, the muggleborn, is so talented. Bigotry is still very much present and as I calculated here, muggleborns are only around 5% of the population, with the majority being purebloods (or wizard-raised half-bloods). The blood purity agenda was always there, Voldemort didn't even believe in it himself, he just used it because it was an easily accessible platform that was just there. It was an easy way to gain followers and create unrest, so he took it. It was opportunistic.

So, in that way, yes, it is similar to Nazi Germany. Antisemitism was already there and prevalent in the culture for centuries, Hitler made use of the ideology already present and normalized it, and even made it righteous to believe in his horrid and bigoted ideology. He pushed the culture to more extremes, but the ideas and philosophies were already there, he didn't invent antisemitism in Germany. It was opportunistic. It didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't just recent either. Antisemitism has a long history in Europe which I'm not going to go into in this post.

1975 - the war gets more violent and wizards are actually killed. We know from Pottermore that:

Eugenia Jenkins 1968 - 1975 Jenkins dealt competently with pure-blood riots during Squib Rights marches in the late sixties, but was soon confronted with the first rise of Lord Voldemort. Jenkins was soon ousted from office as inadequate to the challenge.

(From Pottermore)

It's said Jenkins was ousted from office "soon" after the rise of Voldemort, which again, suggests the more violent attacks only started mid-70s, around 1974 and 1975. From the list of deaths in the post I already linked throughout this post I posed the deaths that ousted her from office were Mr. and Mrs. Bones who we don't have a death date for and were likely important enough in the magical community to send the shockwaves of war that would get the minister kicked out of office. After all, you need something big to rock the wizarding community, a few muggle deaths aren't going to cut it.

(Also the mention of pure-blood riots earlier in the 60s show blood purity was nothing new, just something Voldemort took advantage of that was already there)

This is the point where Walburga and Orion probably got the cold feet Sirius mentioned. Because it's not just muggles and muggleborns anymore. Two pureblood wizards were killed — and that scared the shit out of purebloods who were a little smarter. The realization Voldemort would kill them too if he thought it necessary. It's not that they grew to care about muggleborns or blood traitors, it was self-interest. They realized that Voldemort didn't have any limits and that they weren't safe just because their blood was pure. That's at least, my take on it.

1976 - The Order of the Pheonix is founded

The Order of the Phoenix was likely founded around 1976-1977 after Voldemort and the DE got more violent and a few people actually died and it became clear to Dumbledore the ministry couldn't handle it on their own.

I believe the Order was kinda late to the party (considering how late Dumbledore was when dealing with Grindlewald). I think he advised the ministry on what to do and really hoped the ministry and the DMLE could resolve it at first. When it appeared they couldn't, that's when he founded the Order.

Now, you're right, the first war doesn't seem to have had any actual battles, my guess is that is was as I mentioned above — targeted attacks and skirmishes.

During the first war, Voldemort holds a pretty tight leash on his Death Eaters and who they kill. That's why they kill at homes and kill only specific ministry personnel and Order members for the most part. It's very targeted and specific. They aren't rounding up muggleborns as Lupin says these laws were new in the second war:

“People won’t let this happen,” said Ron. “It is happening, Ron,’; said Lupin. “Muggle-borns are being rounded up as we speak.”

(DH)

This is only in the second war. In the first one, there was no muggleborn registry or compulsive attendance at Hogwarts. The first war was all targeted terror attacks. The DE didn't have the ministry the way they did in the second one. Yes, they had quite a few members in the ministry who probably tried to pass various laws, but it wasn't the complete control they had in 1997-1998.

I assume, what the Order did in these years, was try to gain intelligence about where and when these attacks would happen so they could wait for the Death Eaters there. Again, sort of skirmish warfare and not quite open battles. Very few combatants were probably present for each of these fights.

Most of the Order missions would've been along the lines of:

Protecting expected DE targets

Recon missions and gaining intelligence through various means

Blocking DE in the ministry from getting the intel they are after or passing their laws.

Stuff that is more targeted and doesn't require a full-scale army.

1980 - The Prophecy and Potters going into hiding

(Edit: More notes regarding the timing of the photo and corrections to this section here. James and Lily went into hiding in the winter of 1980, but the Order's photo was taken while James and Lily were in hiding in July 1981, meaning all the Order members died in the 4 months between Harry's birthday and the end of the war)

The prophecy was made about two months before Harry was born:

He stepped forward. Not as tall as Ron, he had to crane his neck to read the yellowish label affixed to the shelf right beneath the dusty glass ball. In spidery writing was written a date of some sixteen years previously, and below that: S. P. T. to A. P. W. B. D. Dark Lord and (?) Harry Potter

(OotP)

We also know from Harry's birthdate that Lily would've gotten pregnant with him around late October 1979. Due to how the Fidelius Charm works I believe the Potters went into hiding before Harry was born, right after the Prophecy was made, so around May 1980. All this means the photo Moody shows Harry was taken at some point in 1979 or early 1980 before Lily's stomach was showing with the pregnancy, but I'm leaning towards late 1979.

This means that almost all deaths in the war (and all the deaths of the Order) happened after 1979. This was probably caused by two things:

Voldemort escalating for some reason (after 1980 the prophecy might've had a hand in the escalation of violence for various reasons I discussed in the linked posts)

Wormtail started spying mid-1980:

“DON’T LIE!” bellowed Black. “YOU’D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!”

(PoA)

So it's possible Wormtail revealed exactly where and when the Order was waiting for the DE and the DE could get the jump on them with more wizards than the Order thought there would be.

These two combined factors practically wiped out most of the first Order.

But we're still talking about skirmishes, just larger ones with a higher death tool, but still no large-scale battles like the Battle of Hogwarts. Enlisting the giants wasn't really because Voldemort used them in the war, there were no battles to use them in. They were a threat, kinda like nukes. It was something you have so your enemies won't attack you. Werewolves were similar, although they were probably employed in some of the skirmishes.

This time period since 1979 is probably when this quote from Sirius becomes the case:

“Imagine that Voldemort’s powerful now. You don’t know who his supporters are, you don’t know who’s working for him and who isn’t; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You’re scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing . . . the Ministry of Magic’s in disarray, they don’t know what to do, they’re trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere . . . panic . . . confusion . . . that’s how it used to be.

(GoF)

More wizards are now being killed/targeted. Most of them probably get tortured/imprisoned rather than killed. Like Neville says about the Carrows:

“Doesn’t matter. They don’t want to spill too much pure blood, so they’ll torture us a bit if we’re mouthy but they won’t actually kill us.”

(DH)

These are terror attacks meant to create compliance. So most are tortured, kidnapped as ransom and assurance of loyalty, or imperious rather than killed. Those that are killed would only be those that really have no hope to turn them onside — like the Order, hence why Voldemort allowed them to be killed.

1980 - The added deaths and skirmishes caused another minister to be kicked out of office:

Harold Minchum 1975 - 1980 Seen as a hard-liner, he placed even more Dementors around Azkaban, but was unable to contain what looked like Voldemort’s unstoppable rise to power.

(From Pottermore)

As I mentioned, in the final years of the war, shit got way worse with more deaths happening in the span of these 3 years than all the 8 years of "war" before combined. So another minister who doesn't know how to crack down on the terror organization is kicked out.

October 1981 - Voldemort goes after the Potters and the war ends.

And we know what happens from here.

These are my thoughts about the timeline of the first war and how it went. We don't know as much about it as I would've liked to know, but this is my impression of how it went down more or less.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #hollowedtheory #harry potter meta #wizarding world #wizarding society #first wizarding war #voldemort #lord Voldemort #death eaters #the order of the phoenix #ironhoeman

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porraaharkness · 3 days ago

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The Black Witch - Agathario’s daughter

Now that we have Agatha’s backstory we know she didn’t trade Nicky for the Darkhold. But she got it anyway, so what could have happened to her and what could be as much as powerfull, like a son, for Mephisto had acept the deal?

I already had this headcanon of how could be if Agathario had a daugther, I was reading more about the meaning of the names and I found out that Selene is a name of a powerful Marvel character, so I tried to fill some spaces with Agathario’s backstory. We still have a lot of gaps about the way they met and between Nicky’s death and Agatha getting the Darkhold.

This is me having fun with Marvel characthers and finding one who fits really well with the idea of an Agathario’s daughter.

AGATHA AND THE DARKHOLD

Agatha and Rio would see each other again every time Agatha had killed another coven. Agatha would always be waiting for her arrival, for her to collect the souls, almost like she wanted Rio to feel ashamed for this, to make her suffer and remember she did that with their son. Every meeting her hatred towards Rio, as her pain and suffering, would be more intense. So was the sex. It always started like a war, but the longing would be to much for them to handle, so they would get to the truce point, as they would say, like “Switzerland”, and then they would part ways again. And this would repeat, again and again. Until no more.

Agatha knew what was happening in day one. The feeling of magic through her, a magic that wasn’t hers or from any others witches she had killed in the past years. That feeling didn’t happened with Nicholas. That was a magic force growing on her, and it wasn’t like other women would describre their pregnancy, the dizy, headache, nauseas, nothing of it. Still, she knew what was happening, and if she could feel the magic, Rio, the original Green Witch, could too. At least, that was what she believed.

Would it all be hapenning again? What she could do to save a kid who one of their mothers is a entity, Death herself? Would this be a way of paying for killing her own coven, her mother? Mothering kids who were destined to die at birth and be collected by their other mother.

That’s when she decided to go after the Darkhold.

Agatha actually made a deal with Mephisto, but not because of her son, but because of a daughter. But she wasn’t ready for Mephisto’s request. He would give her the Darkhold, so she could hide from Rio and change their daughter’s fate, but in exchange Agatha would forget her existence, her babygirl. A void in her memory. She would get everything she wanted, the Darkhold and protect and hide her, but in his terms.

The girl would be safe, so she accepted. With one request, her name wouldn’t be changed. The deal was made.

What Mephisto didn’t tell her is that he couldn’t feel Agatha’s baby power. He felt the energy emanating from her but couldn’t describe exactly what it was, like the baby herself put up a barrier against him. He also had a hint on why the original green witch, lady Death, hadn’t shown up yet. Death wasn’t the baby’s destiny, and he doubted it would be so soon, with all that power he imagined was there and was being kept hidden from him. But Agatha didn’t know that, so he used it to his advantage. She didn’t need him, but he was glad she didn’t realize it.

All this made him really interested in Selene, she would be there, growing by his side, he could see how powerfull she could become, and control her, the offspring of a powerfull witch and a entity, and now, an agent of Mephisto.

SELENE

From Marvel comics “Selene’s mother was young when she bore her, but would be dead before Selene spoke her first words. The tribal elders ordered her mother’s people to sacrifice themselves to Selene until none remained”

She would have grown up under Mephisto’s influence, and that would be the story she grew up believing, she had two witches mothers, which explained her powers, and they were murdered trying to protect her against their coven, and that’s it, not knowing anything else about her past.

As for her powers, that’s a lot of similarities with Agatha and Rio’s. It’s almost like she has a mix of both.

Again, from the comics:

“Selene maintains her immortality with her power to absorb the essence or lifeforce of others, a process that also allows her to absorb memories and take control of her victims. By drawing on the power she has absorbed, Selene can also grant herself other superhuman abilities like enhanced strength or speed.”

“Selene is also a powerful telepath with considerable telekinetic abilities. Thanks to her extended lifespan, Selene has become one of the most skilled magic users in the world and was even considered a potential candidate to replace Doctor Strange as Sorcerer Supreme. She is capable of displaying various psionic feats with the minds of others including reading and communicating with thoughts over vast distances.”

Guess who has telepathic powers too and can get inside someone’s mind, even a mind under a powerful Scarlet Witch’s spell.

“If she drains only part of a victm’s life force, she achieves a measure of pyschic control over her victm’s mind. Selene can cause a human being to become a psychic vampire like herself, but be subordinate to Selene’s own will.”

That would explain how she could control and hide herself from Mephisto even when she was still a baby. When Mephisto tried to use his own power to sense hers, unintentionally, she absorbed and used his power against him, hiding and protecting herself. And hiding from her other mother, Lady Death. As a life created by Agatha and Rio, their life force would already been part of Selene’s too.

SORCERER POWERS

“Selene can summon demons and other entitties. Can manipulate magical artifcats and teleport over vast-distances.”

This gives off an Underworld vibe, fitting well for an Lady Death’s daughter and Agatha possessing the Darkhold too.

“Selene can shoot powerfull energy blasts"

“Can disguise herself and others”

“Can restrain others in mystical bonds” As Agatha did with Jen.

“Selene can turn herself into a shadow figure enabling her to blend in and also control darkness around her.”

“In her efforts to obtain power, Selene was responsible for the establishment of the hidden Amazonian city Nova Roma”

And how well this fits with someone who is the daughter of a power-addicted witch and the original Green Witch.

AESTHETIC

In the comics, looking at her style, there is a lot of similarities with Agathario’s.

“No one knows where Selene came from, who she is, what she is” So again, it fits well with the idea of Rio not knowing about her and Agatha not remebering her but spreading a “false” story about exchanging a child for the Darkhold, like she tried to deceive herself, to have some memory of her daughter, in a way she could get her back one day, even if she doesn’t even remember it.

Selene likes some purple too.

There’s a movie called “Underworld” where the protagonist’s style and story was inspired by Selene from the comics.

In the movie she grows up with a father figure and a blurred past in which he saved her when her family was murdered. Later she finds out he was actually the one who killed them.

SELENE AS AGATHARIO’S DAUGHTER

With Nicholas, we know he was created at a time when Agathario were in love and in good terms with each other. This only changed after his birth. So that’s Nicholas personality and soul, easy going, pure, full of love.

With Selene it was different, she would be made on a time were there was a lot of love between Agatha and Rio, but a rejected and denied love, with pain, sadness, and loneliness, as they attracted and repelled each other at the same time. A time when Agatha was absorbing the power of other witches through their deaths. These would be strong themes with her, the loneliness, sadness, feelings burning inside her that she cannot properly explain or understand, so she is always masking and channeling as rage and ambition, trying to fulfill something. And with so much power, she can be very destructive

She could got to much comfortable messing with the underwold, and got Rio’s attention. In Selene’s arrogance, she exposed to much of her powers, what Rio would notice and goes to Agatha, demanding answers about the possibility of them having another kid, a daugther. Daughter that Agatha doesn’t remember that exists.

I could see their meeting, Selene finding someone, after centuries, with the same amount, and even more power than her, and the confusion and feelings of familiarity through her magic.

She begins to doubt her past and the little bit of it that she knows, so goes lurking.

She goes to Mephisto, needing help and looking for answers.

To find out later he is the one to blame.

And suddenly all the hidden feelings of loneliness come back with full force, the family she thought had lost, is there, and don’t even knows her. She grew up thinking about the death of two women who had been alive all this time. But at least she still had this, some feeling for them, even though she didn’t know who they were. Only the idea of how her mothers would be like, the family and the feeling of belonging that was denied to her. And having to accept that her mothers didn’t even know, or remember, her existence.

Maybe I will write a fic about them but for know it’s just fun to imagine the possibilities of it and how they would interact, Rio meeting Selene, them fighting each other and Rio noticing the similarities, thinking that this would be impossibe, she would know. Then looking for Agatha, thinking she lied about them having a daughter all this time. And Agatha can’t even understand what she is talking about, denying it in a way Rio believes she doesn’t know either. The three of them meeting. Agatha still in disbelief, she would never forget her own daugther. And finally, the moment of realization.

Mephisto wouldn’t give up his control over her so easily, Doctor Strange could get involved, so it would no longer be about Rio and Agatha fighting against her but fighting for her.

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #agathario #agatha x rio #vidarkness #agathario fanfic #agathario fanfiction #There is so much potential for Agathario backstory #And the fact we didn’t got the answers about the Darkhold #If you never whatched Underworld give it a shot #you won’t regret it #lady death #agatha dysfunctional family all along #selene as agathario daughter #Black Witch

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emmawithtwoms · 1 day ago

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Moving staircases

@wolfstarmicrofic day 12 - 696 words

Just as he thought he would have reached safety, Remus felt the stairs moving under his feet.

“Moony!”

Fucking moving staircases.

“Moony, wait! Merlin, I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past ten minutes! Will you just stop running from me?”

“I’m not running”

“Oh so that was what? Walking rapidly?”

“Sirius, what do you want?”

The staircase was moving painstakingly slowly under their feet.

“I just wanna talk to you, you’ve been avoiding me for the past week! I wanna know what I did!”

“And then what, Sirius?! Pretend like nothing happened? Forget we talked about it like you do every single time? Act like you were drunk the night before just because you don’t want to face reality?!”

“Moony…”

“Oh don’t ‘Moony’ me, asshole! Don’t pretend like you don’t know exactly what this is all about! Every single time you kiss me, and make me believe that finally, Finally you’re gonna do something about… about this! About us, about whatever the fuck is going on! But noooo. The great Sirius Black is too above feelings, too above ties to just fucking stop and realise how much he’s hurting other people! And I’m here like an idiot, falling for it every single time! Well, I’m tired, Sirius. I’m tired of being you fucking puppet, I’m tired of being you emotional punching bag, who you go to whenever the weight of hiding who you really are gets too much. I’m not gonna let you ruin me just because you’re too much of a coward to accept who you are.”

“Remus, please. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear! It was never about you!”

“Oh it wasn’t? Really? So why would you crawl back to me every time?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

Sirius shot his hand up in an apologetic way

“I-I just don’t know how to deal with… this”

“With what, Sirius?”

Did the fucking staircase stop?

“With you-Us! I don’t know what it means, I just know that when whatever it is gets too much, you’re the only person I want around! Moony I’m begging you to believe me! I never meant to hurt you.”

Remus could not stand to look at his face, even in the scene they were causing in the, fortunately, empty staircase, Sirius did not give any kind of answer to Remus, just more questions.

“So I’m just a what? A distraction? A way to get some weight off your chest?”

“What? NO! Merlin Moony no, you’re more than that, you know it.”

“Do I? Realy? Then what am I, Sirius? I am tired of being your dirty little secret. I am tired of the glances, and the winks, and the flirting, and the secret hook ups that you never mention the following day!”

“YOU’RE THE REASON I CANNOT STOP FAKING ANYMORE! Please Moony, I always thought I could have hanfìdled this… thing in me, but then you came along, and I knew I was done for. I cannot control myself when I see you. The thought of waking up and not being able to touch you, hold you, kiss you… I’m desolated Moony, I never meant to make you feel unworthy or dirty, it was all about me, I thought I was taunting you, infecting you with whatever I had, and the voices in my head made me feel disgusted with myself after every secret rendezvous. But the truth is that I want you, Moony, more than anything in the world, I’m begging you, just- just let me…”

Sirius was gripping the marble handrail so hard that his knuckles were white, tears were starting to form in his eyes and he was gripping his chest with his left hand, desperate for Remus to just turn around and look at him.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Remus turned to stare into Sirius’s eyes, red rimmed hazel staring into stormy gray.

“No more secrets, Padfoot. No more pretending and no more girls. If you want me, you have me, but you gotta take all of me.”

“Yes, yes Moony, everything, please.”

And as Remus finally got close to Sirius, the boys could feel the staircase reaching the other landing.

#sirius black #remus lupin #marauders #ao3 #fic #microfic #wolfstarmicrofics #wolfstar microfic #harry potter #fanfic #angst #wolfstar angst #angst comfort #idiots in love

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scarletsky153 · 12 hours ago

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that one crack fic

thinking about writing a jjk crack fic in which nobara, yuuji (and sukuna) and megumi are satoru-suguru-shoko's senpai and the trio (plus sukuna!) are the reason why yaga-sensei shaved his hair (from stress!!)

(a bit backstory)

nobara's backstory was mostly the same, and also because she has sukuna as her reluctant mentor she was even more unhinge and crazy and definitely can keep up with yuuji and megumi during their shenaningas.

yuuji ate sukuna's finger(s) when he's way smaller, like probably six or seven, so sukuna has YEARS of dealing with humanity (thank god for uraume). during those years, itadori jin was also still alive and well (even tho kaori/kenjaku already gone their way outta their lives) so sukuna, recognizing jin's soul as his twin brother, reluctantly becoming yuuji's babysitter. when the sorcerers found out that sukuna was finally reincarnated around yuuji's 14th birthday, they met with deadpanned but deadly 'fuck around and find out' stare from sukuna bcs "i was here for years already, i have zero patience to deal with you fools because i have to deal with them (yuuji, jin, and wasuke)' shenanigans" which yeah, fine, no one can challenge sukuna anyway so they pressure yuuji into attending jujutsu high while also consuming sukuna's fingers as long as he didn't go on rampage and killing everyone.

megumi on the other hand,,, mamagumi was still alive and well, she's actually from a minor jujutsu clan and so when megumi show his ten shadows technique toji decided the safest way is to strongarmed himself into becoming zen'in clan's head (or at least kill the current clan elders) and pressure them into making megumi the clan heir. toji already got the reputation of being the Sorcerer Killer even tho most of his kills are curse user. megumi's strenght definitely came from toji but mamagumi is where he got his steel of spine. so for nearly a decade, the zen'in family closed their family home and had some 'modernization' and that's why megumi barely knew satoru (despite the latter being gojo's clan heir).

during nobara-yuuji-megumi's first year (with yuta-maki-toge-panda as their second year senpais and hakari-kirara as their third year senpais!) they definitely gave yaga headache bcs the three got the nastiest luck and their missions mostly got derailed in the weirdest way. but the higher ups never really messed them bcs sukuna, after finding all of his fingers and thus got his own body at the end of the trio's first year, are very (reluctantly) protective of them.

when they got to second year, they never met satoru-shoko-suguru at the beginning bcs just a few days before the year started they somehow got derailed into another universe (and went universes-hopping and getting into crazy shenanigans!). the only reason why yaga (and kusakabe as their second year sensei) didn't fret is because uraume and tengen reassure them that the trio and sukuna are fine, but probably causing chaos in another universes.

shoko, as someone from a minor clan, has heard all of the gossip about their absent senpais but she didn't really pay attention to them because she thought they're too wild to be true (but mostly true). suguru, as someone from a mundane family, didn't know what to think about their absent senpais because he can accept the existence of curses and curse energy but surely universe-hopping are too crazy and science-fiction? satoru on the other hand, very much envy his senpais because he want to go on an adventure to a different universe too! also he's curious about their strength because from what he heard from the rumor mill, the three senpais are strong, tho definitely not the strongest like him.

(the sashisu trio already met their third year senpais, and for satoru it was a bewildering experience bcs what do you mean the timid okkotsu yuta is a special grade?? wait he's my distant relative?! maki zen'in didn't have curse energy and can't see curses?! but she's strong as fuck, yeah definitely trained by the Sorcerer Killer himself. a very good influence for shoko tho, and suguru def hit it off with yuta and they have some tea every once in a while like old men)

the trio plus sukuna finally come back just before the kyoto-tokyo goodwill events, which also how sashisu met the first year arata nitta, the second year kokichi muta, kasumi miwa, and noritoshi kamo, the third year mai zenin, momo nishimiya, and aoi todo aka yuuji's so called brother. the fourth years student, utahime and mei mei, even tho they can't participate they still come and meet the other students and hanging out with hikari and kirara as the other fourth years.

on day one of the event, a portal opened up on the school's ground when the others are already gathered around. shocked, they stand guard and got ready to attack but a few seconds later a familiar shout was heard and those who were familiar with the voice relaxed. nue flew in, nobara on her back, while they can see yuuji ran closer to the portal with megumi on his shoulder.

nobara : "faster guys, the portal brought us home!"

sukuna from a distance : "fucking finally!"

megumi : "sukuna, stop fighting them and come here quickly before the portal get closed!"

the other people stand still in shock, yuuji and megumi finally come through the portal, with sukuna suddenly appear behind them and push them quickly, making them tumble down with nobara too.

nobara : "thank god for tengen-sama because we're finally home!"

sukuna : "i'm fucking done with you brats, don't bother me for the next three years or there will be blood!"

yuuji, oblivious to how others see them : "no way! you told us you're gonna teach us the healing thing after we got home!"

yaga, done with everything : "so you finally back, huh?!"

yaga then scolded them in front of the others, while sashisu who just met them and still feel very shocked about everything can only just watch as their senpais, who looked very different and more mature than from the pictures, being scolded by their teacher while the being with huge pressure that can only be sukuna crossed all of his four arms and growled at everyone.

because of this very shocking event, the opening of the goodwill event got pushed for a day so the second year trio can rest a bit. they chatted instead, bringing sukuna into the fold too.

todo : "brother, what happened to your face?!"

maki : "kugisaki, what happened to your eyes?!"

satoru : "heyyy heard you're really sukuna the king of curses, how about we fight for a bit to see who's stronger?!"

sukuna, laughing meanly : "ah, you six eyes users are all the same even after a thousand years. yeah no, brat, ask me again when your power get more mature."

so satoru very much determined to fight sukuna, tried and failed to flirt with megumi bcs he's very much taken by yuuji and nobara, tried to flirt with sukuna instead but got flat out no because "you're still underage, what the fuck?!" while suguru laugh meanly at him at every rejection but also sadly weep himself while satoru and shoko laugh bcs he got rejected by mai zen'in. shoko instead mooned over her very much amazing and beautiful and strong senpais aka maki and nobara, and the girls taught shoko everything they knew.

when nanami and yuu start at jujutsu high, sashisu are more stable mentally bcs their senpais influence, and also crazier bcs they're not afraid of a lot of shits especially after sukuna got attach to them and reluctantly help them with a lot of shits.

in the end, yuu didn't die, suguru didn't defected, and satoru wasn't burdened by the title of the strongest alone but instead got a lot of comrades around him that also share his vision of a better jujutsu society. there's more chaos and even more universe-traveling shenanigans but this timeline is probs ended up better than other universe they visited.

(there's still a lot of shits i wanna write about them but maybe someday.......)

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izukumidoriyashusband · 21 hours ago

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Random Drabble (?) about Izuku working over his fears because he loves you.

Izuku Midoriya

💚 | Where his heart lies

WC: 307 words.

Pairing: Reader x Izuku Midoriya

The books.

Izuku Midoriya never understood love. He knew what it meant to have butterflies. To be so in love that your heart is ready to leave your chest. But he didn’t understand it. Until College.

He fell so hard for you but it wasn’t difficult to understand that. What was difficult to accept was that his best friend fell for you too. Katsuki was everything a woman wanted. Tall, more buff, rougher, dominant, the list goes on. Katsuki and Izuku set eyes on you at the same time. Izuku’s better judgment told him to step aside for his best friend. Maybe it was his insecurities instead.

They told him he wouldn’t have a chance, that he didn’t stand a chance. It made him feel small even though he was confident in himself, he couldn’t compete.

Not with Katsuki. Maybe if it was Denki, he thought. He thought about how mean that was right after, god why were you doing this? His head said to step aside, but his heart said otherwise. Izuku remembers the day Katsuki was about to approach you. He remembers it so vividly because he made all the wrong choices, or at least they felt wrong. He left the school quickly, bumping shoulders with so many people. He rushed past Katsuki, hitting him on the shoulder with his own, but he didn’t care.

You were walking to your car, out of reach, he yelled. “Yo Venus!” He said with this random feeling of determination until you turned around. Until your eyes are locked. Until he saw your features in the sun. Woah. Your hair? Your lips.. Jesus.

His legs moved on their own, all he knew was that he couldn’t let Katsuki show him up. Not this time. Not now. He went up to you, shutting your car door and he says,

“Let me take you out, yeah?”

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an-annyeoing-writer · 2 days ago

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idol!Baekhyun x fan!Reader: truth be told.

Word count: 2382

Date of release: 11th November, 2024

Genre: angst, slice of life, half ounce of a fluff, established relationships, mentions of break up and dysfunctional relationships, way too much emotional yapping as for barely any plot.

I'm as surprised as y'all that I wrote something like this. You know, no vampires, no action, no one's actively dying? It's very much not my kind of writing, but I was feeling very emotional at the time. Just don't get used to it.

„It’s not good for you. I don’t think it’s good for me. It’s not healthy for either of us.”

He felt as if the knife you were cutting vegetables with cut right through his heart as well. You deliberately distracted yourself with the activity while he stood nearby, staring at you blankly, but not knowing how to respond.

In the recent weeks, he felt the two of you falling apart. It was like an avalanche that started with a small rock which he didn’t notice at the time, but which escalated into a disaster. Talking less, avoiding meeting up, and until today – the day you announced, as gently as you could, that you wanted to move out and live on your own. You said that it’s just because you want to become more independent, that you shouldn’t rely on him this much. But what will his apartment feel like without you? Your presence here, doing small things such as cutting vegetables, became a staple part of his life.

“Are you still talking about living together? Or about… us?”

Your movements were more frantic than he knew you for. With one a bit too sudden of a motion, the blade cut through the skin of your finger, and you let out a low murmur to cover up the hiss of pain, putting the finger to your lip in mild annoyance. It was more than clear that the cut was not the only reason behind your frustration.

Baekhyun didn’t move.

In any other situation, he would react – mock you a bit for being clumsy while being the first one to bring the first aid kid, maybe pretend to be a vampire struck by the scent of your blood, maybe even panic a little in this cute, puppy-like way if he felt that the amount of blood is greater than acceptable.

But now he didn’t, and it sparked a bit of hurt in you as well, but also brought your attention to the fact that maybe dismissing things and try to make them gentle only worsened the pain that would eventually come. The anxiety of the future that you exposed him to was not like the boil-the-frog that you planned to perform. You wanted to avoid confrontation for as long as necessary, until things dropped naturally. You didn’t expect him to hold onto it.

“Can you be honest with me? Are you able to?” His tone started to show that he, too, was growing frustrated. “Tell me what’s going on. Did something happen? I’m sorry if I can’t catch the clues, but if you made it obvious, then I’m just plain stupid.”

“Nothing… happened. And I’m sorry, I didn’t make it obvious. I didn’t know, how.”

He frowned ever so slightly, taking a step towards you. You backed against the kitchen counter, placing your hands on each side – your finger stung a little, but it was merely a scratch. The real wound was growing in your soul.

“If nothing happened, then why? Did you grow bored of me?”

“Of you?”

“Yeah. Please be honest with me. Just no more sweeting things up, alright?”

His tone was calm, but it lacked softness, it was almost business-like.

“I don’t know how anyone would get bored of you, Baekhyun” you admitted in a breathless whisper. You were starting to feel foolish, really. “And especially myself. That’s why I don’t think I can take it. I don’t think it’s fair to you. But I’m also not fair to myself. You just mean… too much to me.”

“Too much?” The frown of the man’s face only deepened. “Why is something telling me I should not feel flattered?” A bit of frustration was slipping into his own tone as well.

You let out a deep sigh.

“I started off as your fan, Baekhyun. I thought that with time, it’ll be more… normal. That you’ll feel like a normal person. But somehow it’s not like that. Somehow… it feels like my life is even more about you than it was before. I feel like a creep. Like I’m using you to fulfill a fantasy.”

“Are you?”

“No!” You denied right away, but your voice faltered. “I… don’t know.” You crossed your arms on your chest, fixating your gaze somewhere down below.

To your surprise, Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh. The laughter didn’t feel light and cheerful, like his usual ones – it was heavied with worry, with some sort of underlying agony.

“Okay, let’s talk about this. We need to talk about this.”

His hand reached towards you and he pulled you by your arm, almost throwing you off balance when he pulled you towards the living room, snatching a paper towel on his way and putting it into your still bleeding hand. “You’re right. Do you think I didn’t consider it? That this wouldn’t work out? That it would feel fake? Heck, I talked to so many friends about it, and most of them said it’s not a good idea. But you know what?” He pushed you onto the couch and sat himself on the stool, bringing it close so that your knees almost touched – if only you let yourself relax, they would rest against each other naturally, but you were stiff and trying to almost shrink within yourself. “You know what? I’ve known you for a year. And I could always trust you. You’ve had so many chances to take advantage of me, and you didn’t. So I don’t want to think about how you could – potentially – hurt me. But we need to talk about the other part.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious that…”

“No, no. You’re thinking about what it’s like, for me, to date a fan.” He didn’t even let you finish, but it was as if he could read your mind, already knowing your thought process. “I want you to be honest and tell me what it’s like to date an idol. Because you’re right, you could be using me. But you also said it’s not good for you. And you’re right, because I could be using you, too. So be honest with me and tell me if I ever hurt you.”

So many memories came flooding at once – not of pain, not at all, but of all things that could have led to one tragedy or another. Your whole relationship, like a videotape.

Sure, your relationship was not always perfect. Barely a year has passed. Not long enough to develop a deep understanding of each other, but long enough for many things to happen, to get to know each other at least.

Not all of it was beautiful. There were arguments, some of which almost ended in a breakup. But they made you stronger, that much was undeniable – with each and every single time you almost fell apart, it felt like you knew each other a bit better, knew what things not to do and not to say, but which helped to soothe the atmosphere and help you get back along.

You had one, most important rule in your relationship.

That no matter what happened between the two of you, you would play fair.

That one time he lied to you about being at work while he was not – that one hurt. When you found out he’s not at the office in the first place, you even thought he was cheating. Wouldn’t that be understandable to assume in such a situation? You had every chance to cause a scandal on spot. But you didn’t. You knew that pulling his whole career down because of your relationship wouldn’t be fair. No matter how much it hurt, it was completely out of the equation.

It turned out he was with his friends – he really wanted to go out, but felt bad for not giving you much attention these days. You felt almost pitiful, seeing him crumble in front of you, all worried that you will feel like he doesn’t want you, when he genuinely didn’t have that much time, and it was just one evening with friends. You smacked him in the head for feeling bad about spending time with friends. And he learned that he can be honest with you.

Another time, you were all excited upon his album release. Seeing him on the stage later on made you feel all kinds of things, the way he moved, all the effects, clothing, makeup – all putting emphasis on his heavenly physique, as if you were watching an angel dance. He came back home disheveled, with remains of makeup on his face, but as excited as you were. You would give all of you to him at that exact moment, more than he would ask for, more than you would feel confident to give any other time.

But it was still early in the relationship, and Baekhyun knew that you weren’t ready. That, drunk on him as you were, you could regret it later, even feel disgusted with giving yourself in this easily, that your gentle mind wouldn’t be able to trust yourself with your own body. So he indulged you with kisses here and there, and then gently tucked you into bed, making sure that it all went smoothly, that it didn’t feel anything like a rejection, but a gesture of utmost care.

It took a few more months before you opened yourself to him fully, and he never rushed or reminded you of how eager you were back then. He could have had it all back then, but he decided to wait. That’s how you learned he’s more selfless than you ever even aspired to be.

“You didn’t” you spoke after what felt like ages, to the point you wondered if you even responded to the correct question. “You didn’t… hurt me. Did I ever hurt you?”

“No, you didn’t. You’re just hurting yourself all the time” he mentioned, jokingly motioning towards your hand, which you wiped hastily with the paper towel. “So if nothing bad happened, why the ifs? You realize it’s not going to stop if we just break up?” It was a rhetorical question, and you glanced up at him with a pout, feeling almost schooled by the way he talked. “You believe it’s a matter of just us, but, as much as it sounds ridiculous to say it, it’s all in your head. No matter who you’re with, you’re going to assume the worst. Won’t it be like that? Be honest with yourself.”

You crossed your arms again, feeling defiant for a moment, because his words were almost too much for your ego to take.

But there was some small part of you, somewhere at the edge of your consciousness, that not only knew that he’s correct, but also wanted it to be correct – because if it was just you, then you could learn to maybe keep those pessimistic parasites at bay, and… you wouldn’t have to suffer the loss that, despite weeks of preparation, didn’t feel like any less of a torment and regret that would come, were you to finish things as you originally intended.

All the beliefs, all the dogmas, that you carefully built over the past weeks, were falling apart in front of your eyes, confronted with very simple logic on Baekhyun’s end. You almost felt stupid for letting things get this far without confronting him earlier. Weren’t you the one who demanded honesty? Wasn’t he the one who proved you can trust him with your vulnerability?

“I’m… sorry.”

You felt yourself fall apart as well. Your body slumped down, relaxed knees rested against Baekhyun’s, and he put his hands on top of your thighs, as if in this exact moment, while knowing that he has you with him, he didn’t want to risk losing you again.

“Don’t be for feeling like that, things are never easy, now are they?” Here it was – the signature smile, the warm one that tore through the clouds of the darkest of your days, warm and welcoming. “But I am upset that you held it from me for so long” he whined. With the whine, he finally moved from the stool and onto the couch next to you. His arms shamelessly snuck around you, engulfing you in the close embrace that you knew so well, felt so good within. Partially pulling you into him, and partially leaning into the back of your shoulder, Baekhyun released a long sigh against the skin of your back, warm air slipping underneath your blouse – you missed it. You almost didn’t realize how distant the two of you became, and how long has it been since you felt his body against yours. But now, despite all of that, it felt good, it felt right. As if your souls have never detached from each other.

Maybe there was some form of destiny between the two of you; maybe it was not just a parasocial relationship that evolved into something that could turn dysfunctional so, so easily – maybe it was written in the stars that one way or another, the two of you would find each other, and it just so happened that you spotted him first, from afar, slowly making your way.

How else would the two of you find each other, after all?

Maybe you learned something this time, too. Maybe it wasn’t much, just the beginning of a stronger, even more intimate bond that would last years and years, and light years, and through all your reincarnations, with some of them as pitiful as they could be. Maybe it was just an accident that this time you were in such a position – in another life, would you be a princess, and he be a peasant?

But these were only some other ifs, fun to think about, but not worth spilling your heart over.

In this life, in this universe, you were his, and he was yours. And everything else was just more or less accidental circumstances that brought you closer together.

Only at the back of your head, you wondered if one day, the tale of hopes and stars would fall, and that dream would turn into a nightmare, fueled by your lives’ imbalance and selfishness that neither of you knew in each other.

Maybe you just didn’t have to think about it just yet.

#exo baekhyun #exo fanfiction #exo angst #baekhyun angst #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fanfiction #vg: baekhyun #vg: exo #vg: drabble

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