#because god. what kind of fleetw.ood mac shit was that

[shivunin]

happy Sunday! 💖

Philautia 3 & Ludus 3 for Maria / Philia 5 for Arianwen / Eros 5 for Emmaera

Happy Sunday to you as well! 💗

(Some discussion of sex below the break and in the tags)

(7 Forms of Love Asks)

Philautia 3: Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Maria is harder on herself than she is on anyone else. I think her standards for others vary based on the other person's situation---she has a very low opinion of the rich, for example, because they do so little to give back---but in general, she holds herself to a high standard. When she fails, she internalizes it and struggles to let it go. That isn't something she would show outwardly, though; she laughs a lot off and dwells on it in private. Only the people who know her best have any idea how personally she takes failure.

Ludus 3: How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Ooof. Yeah.

Definitely not something she ever thought about before Fenris. Maria found people attractive before him, and flirted and dated (a little), but Fenris was the first person she actually wanted to have sex with. If she'd thought for a second that it would be a one-night thing, she would have told him to go home. After that night, she really, really struggled to find a balance between wanting him to stay around (and remain her friend) and trying to put her feelings for him aside.

(I think from his perspective...the only thing she could think to do was not touch or look at or be near him at all. Given how affectionate she is to all of her friends otherwise, the contrast was as stark as it was painful...but this question isn't about Fenris)

The most logical solution she could come up for to solve this problem was dilution. Maybe she couldn't forget that night because it was the first time. Therefore, she would just drown out the memories with a lot of other experiences and then, obviously, all of those confusing feelings would go away and she could have her friend back and everything would be just like it used to be.

So Maria spent a few weeks of focused experimentation at the Rose trying every sex act that sounded even remotely interesting. It was nice enough, interesting from an experiential perspective, but the sex never felt like what she'd had with Fenris. There was no emotional connection, and without that the whole experience remained somewhat academic.

She was working up to one-night stands when Leandra died, and after that it all seemed a bit pointless. Fenris was so present for her, especially after the fight with the Arishok, that she finally conceded that she was just going to have to live with being in unrequited love with him forever. At that point, I don't think she ever seriously considered casual sex again--though she did have suitors in the gap between acts 2 and 3.

Philia 5: What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Safety and happiness. Wen would even refrain from killing to make this happen c:

Joking aside, Alistair is her dearest friend. By the end of the Blight, he's family to her. I think her deepest wish for him is that he eventually can have a life that he chooses for herself. She is well aware that she's the reason this couldn't happen, but she didn't see any other choice at the time. She would gladly and easily assassinate the nobility to make his life earlier, but more importantly she would let them live for his peace of mind. She remains his closest confidante even at a distance even though it's really hard for her to act in that capacity. When he calls her to Denerim to act as an advisor for important meetings, she neither complains nor climbs out a window.

(Morrigan, who is her next closest friend...Wen is willing to let Morrigan go if it really makes her happy. At the end of Witch Hunt, it breaks her heart a little bit to say goodbye for good. I like to think they connected again later, after Morrigan came back to the material world with Kieran.)

Eros 5: How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

I don't think Emma is especially preoccupied with her appearance in general. If she were to think about it, she would suppose she looks pretty enough, but then she'd move on to something more interesting. Her confidence is linked very strongly to her mind; her body is a secondary consideration most of the time. She does try to present a particular image, especially given her role as the Inquisitor, but I don't think her idea of self-worth is tied to her physical appearance at all.

But then, she is my absentminded professor OC and forgets she even has a body half the time when she's comfortable. The hardest times in her life are times where she is forced to feel herself intensely for long periods of time: after she is stabbed, when she loses her arm, the rough period in Kirkwall when she's going into Darktown several times a week and having to heal constantly.