#because every single one of those is failing in BC right now

[incognit0slut]

SILENT PLEA

Part 1 of kinktober | main masterlist

Being a few feet away from your friends wasn’t going to stop you from seeking pleasure with your professor.

softdom!spencer x fem reader; Thigh-riding, teasing, semi-public, praise, age gap, power imbalance with teacher/student dynamic

words: 2,932

a/n: this one is dedicated to those who just wants to sit on his lap while being praised 🖤 (also i has to repost this bcs of some error it was so weird)

IT WAS HIS EYES. The rich, earthy tones of his irises with subtle flecks of amber and gold held a comforting warmth that seemed to radiate within, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. You always found yourself captivated every time his gaze fell on you. It felt as if he had a secret language written in those brown orbs, one that spoke volumes without uttering a single word.

Or it might've been his hands. You always knew he had nice, well-kept hands but the more you examined them, the more you noticed how enticing they truly were. The size of them always surprised you, as well as the length of his fingers, but it was the veins running along the backs of his hands that really made you dry at the mouth.

Maybe it was the age difference. The mature lines on his face, those crinkle lines around his eyes whenever he smiled only adding an appeal to his appearance. And the way he carried himself with a sense of authority was definitely a factor, one that never failed to make you weak in the knees.

But perhaps it was just him. All of him. The way he stood at his tall height. The way he laughed at his own joke. The way he spoke in his lectures—the enthusiasm palpable in his voice as he explained the difference between a trigger and a stressor while mentioning he was going to put them in the finals, something he shouldn't have probably done.

It was everything about him. His unruly hair. His tailored suit. His charming smile.

And there was the way that he called you, addressing your first name in a room full of people, yet every time you were alone with him, you felt special. You were always his good girl.

"You're such a good girl for me, you know that, right?"

You knew, because every time you did as you were told, he gave you more. More than what you wanted, more than what you needed. He knew you inside and out, and as much as you hated to admit what you were doing these past couple of months was deemed inappropriate, you still couldn't help it. Everything about him made you crave more.

That was why you found yourself perched on his lap after class. It was wrong on so many levels. Not only was it unprofessional for a faculty member to be sexually involved with a student, it was also looked down upon to be in a relationship with someone almost twice your age. But temptation won over rational thoughts, and you had to admit, the professor you had a crush on ever since he introduced himself in front of the class, was really good at tempting you.

"Spence..." You sighed out, hips squirming along his lap. Each of your legs was on either side of his thigh, and you sat there, waiting for him to do something because you were desperate. How could you not when he had been eying you throughout this morning? The subtle glint of mischief wasn't lost on you when he spoke in front of you and your peers, and now that you were finally alone with him, you wanted his undivided attention.

Spencer's hands gripped your thighs as his eyes swept along your body. They momentarily paused on the low dip of your shirt, your cleavage visible for his own pleasure, before he glanced back up to your face.

"We don't have much time," he reminded, yet his hands were sliding up your skirt. And he was right, there wasn't enough time. Staying in his class after everyone had left wasn't exactly ideal, but it didn't stop you from locking the door before you practically climbed on top of him. You knew his next class was about to start in fifteen—no, thirteen minutes. You had already spent the two minutes waiting impatiently for him to touch you.

Now you couldn't leave this room without having a part of him. You needed him, every fiber in your body was screaming for him, and if you had to beg for him to comply with your needs, you would gladly do it in a heartbeat.

"Please." Your voice was barely a whisper, yet he still heard you loud and clear. "I-I need you."

Your breath hitched as his thumb stroked along the outline of your underwear and it took a lot of self-control for you not to whine pathetically. "Yeah? Tell me what you need then."

You paused, opting to choose the right words that wouldn't sound so vulgar because, with the way your body was reacting, you could only think of wild, explicit things. Your eyes settled on his face, sinking in the way he was watching you intensely, and your words abruptly stopped at the tip of your tongue.

"Go on, use your words," he urged. "Tell me what you want me to do."

You let out a trembling sigh. Everything about him was already consuming you, but the moment his hands danced along your sides, you knew you had to have more. Lust surged within you like a relentless tide, pulling you deeper into its intoxicating depths. It was a feverish, aching hunger that clawed at your insides, demanding satisfaction. The simple warmth radiating from his hands gripping your thighs just wasn't enough. So you braved yourself and leaned closer, resting your hands on his shoulders.

"I-I want you to touch me."

A ghost of a smile played on his lips. "But I am touching you."

You looked at him through your lashes, biting down your bottom lip. "More," you pleaded. "Please."

He hummed a reply, his hands slowly leaving your hips before they trailed under your blouse, traveling up the length of your body before stopping right on your breasts. Your senses danced with anticipation, every nerve alert and quivering, as his hands cupped each flesh, squeezing them ever so slightly as you felt a thumb brush across a nipple over the thin layer of your bra.

"Like this?" All you could manage was a tiny nod and his smile grew wider. You couldn't help but buckle your hips when he rolled your nipples between his fingers, playing with them in a seductive tease.

"What else do you want?" He gently asked. You noticed the way his voice began to descend, gradually sinking into a deeper tone, and your eyes instinctively fell on his mouth. His lips were a perfect balance between fullness and subtlety. It was gently curved and so inviting that you wanted to feel the shape of them right against yours.

"I..." you started, your voice in a breathless whisper. "I want you to kiss me."

He let out a pleased sound, slowly sliding his hands out of your shirt. "I can definitely do that."

And then he was moving forward, pressing his lips to yours, caging you in with strong hands on either side of your face. You instantly melted like a puddle. You were ice and he was the sun, and the mere taste of him had your body dissipate in his arms.

He teased your bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, lightly tracing the pink skin until your mouth parted in invitation. You moan quietly as the taste of him—faint traces of coffee and something incredibly sweet—greeted you. His tongue slid against yours, hot and eager to taste you as pleasure surged throughout your body.

Spencer slowly pulled away, trailing his lips down your neck before he sucked on the spot right under your ear. You could practically feel the smile against your skin as his hands traveled down your arms, holding you gently as he whispered, "Tell me what else you want."

The ache between your legs was too much to handle. A simple kiss was enough for your body to burn with lust. You needed the pleasure, you needed the release, and he was the only one who could give it to you. He was the only one who knew your body as if you were made exactly for him to ravish. Your eyes smoldered with an insatiable longing and your breath came in shallow, hurried gasps, each one a desperate plea for fulfillment.

It was now or never.

"I want you to fuck me."

He leaned back, if he was surprised by your choice of words, he didn't show it. Instead, he let out a sigh as his hands continued to move down your sides again. "Oh, sweetheart, it's not that I don't want to, but we both know I would need more than..." His eyes swept over the watch around his wrist. "...eight minutes to fuck you properly."

Your breath hitched in your throat, then you watched as the curve of his lip turned upwards into a teasing smile.

"But I can't leave my sweet girl all desperate like this, can I?" Then his hands were back on your hips. "Why don't you ride my thigh instead?"

Your face heated up at the suggestion while your mouth slipped out a desperate whimper. Your skin flushed with a warm, feverish glow, and the world around you faded into obscurity as desire became your sole focus.

You were hesitant, but you were also desperate to find your release, so your body started moving on its own, hips rutting against the roughness of his pants. Pressing the growing heat surging between your legs onto his thigh sent a shiver in your system.

Much to his pleasure, Spencer's mouth stretched out into a thin and permissive smile, unable to hide his satisfaction. "That's it," he praised, fingers digging into your hips. His raspy voice only made you burn with red-hot desire. "Keep going."

Following his words, you moved your pelvis. What started out lazy and slow soon turned into sporadic thrusts as you tried to cling to any friction, grinding yourself against his leg with such fervor. It was too much, but at the same time, it wasn't enough.

Attempting to catch your breath, you buried your face into the crook of his neck to suppress your mewls of arousal as best as you could. But as he continued to massage your hips and manually move you back and forth on his leg, the effort quickly became useless.

"This feels good, doesn't it?" He murmured. "It's so cute how easily you get off with just my thigh, don't you think?" He said, giving your ass cheeks a firm squeeze.

You breathed his name as your eyes fluttered to a close. You grind your hips harder down onto his thigh, gasping against his lips when your clit caught on the material of his pants. Your toes curl as the fierce heat of pleasure overtook your senses. You were greedy with it, chasing after that spark as you rocked your hips steadily, bottom lip trapped between your teeth, and eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Doing so well for me," he whispered against your ear, hands gripping your hips as you rubbed yourself against his thigh quickly. He smiled when a soft, strangled moan escaped your parted lips, which encouraged him even more. "Look at you, drooling over my leg."

And just to prove his point, he pushed your skirt up along your legs until its material lay loosely around your waist. His eyes took in the sight of you. The way you were grinding against his leg frantically, the thin fabric of your underwear pressing between your throbbing cunt from the constant friction, slightly showing off soft, bare skin glistening under the light.

"So fucking wet," he mused, his tongue swiping along his lower lip as he watched you drenching him. "Just the way I like it."

It felt as if you were floating, so pleasurably dizzy it turned your head to mush. It was hard to keep yourself upright, eyes rolling back, body nearly giving out. And the wisest thing to do for you was to stop because you could imagine the mess you were making. You could also imagine the wet patch of your arousal staining his pants, visible for everyone to see.

"P-People will talk," you whispered between bated breaths.

"Let them." He rocked your hips forward, encouraging you to move faster. "Let them know your sweet pussy made this mess on me."

A soft, involuntary whimper escaped your lips. You rolled your hips again, and the beginnings of something heady and sweet swelled within you. But in that heat of the moment, a sudden hush fell over the room, and your heightened senses caught the faint sound of footsteps approaching from outside. Your body stilled, every muscle tensed, and your breathing became shallow as you strained to listen to the distant murmur of voices.

Spencer suddenly leaned closer and ran the tips of his teeth along the outer shell of your ear once he felt your momentum slow. "I didn't tell you to stop, did I?"

You shuddered in response and found your pace again, faster and longer, continuing to knead yourself against his thigh. But then the sudden jolt of the doorknob sent a bolt of panic through you.

"It's locked," a muffled voice echoed from behind the door. "Isn't class supposed to start soon?"

Your ears perked up at the familiar voice before a second voice chimed in, yet still holding a familiarity you also recognized. "Is he not here yet?"

A small groan escaped your lips. There was no denying who those voices belonged to. They were your friends, albeit not that close, yet you were still acquainted with them and the thought of having people you knew standing a few feet away from you while you continued to rut your hips against him was making your head delirious.

"Do you know them?"

You nodded helplessly.

"Then maybe you should keep your voice down," he suggested, holding you closer to him. "Don't want them to know what you're doing in here, do you?"

He noticed the way your body stiffened.

"Or is that what gets you off?" He asked. "Your friends standing a few feet away while you're grinding desperately on your professor?" His hand sits on your lower back, drifting down to the tops of your ass, forcing you to rut forward.

It was so, so wrong, yet you couldn't stop the pleasure coursing through your veins at the possibility of being caught. The knowledge that your friends were just outside, on the brink of discovering your intimate moment, added an exhilarating layer to your pleasure.

"Spencer," you whined. "Please."

"Naught minx," he mumbled. "I think I like seeing you like this."

Suddenly, he jerked his leg up, catching you off guard and you whined instantly, unprepared to counter the pressure pushing up onto your sore cunt. Muffled cries of ecstasy escaped your lips, your teeth clenched in a futile attempt to hold back your moan.

It didn't take long until a pulsating warmth began to radiate from the pit of your stomach. Each passing second brought a rising crescendo, a mounting tension that threatened to shatter your composure. You whimpered, thighs shaking slightly as you continued the abuse toward your clit, somehow the material of his pants made the stimulation even better and it almost caused you to lurch forward in shock.

"That's it, use me," he encouraged. "So, so good for me. My sweet girl."

Your breath came in short, shallow gasps, and your body quivered with a delicious ache. The intensity of it all was almost unbearable, and yet, you craved more, grinding yourself harder. Your muscles tightened, your breath quickened, your skin prickled with anticipation, and nothing could have prepared you for his next words.

"Cum on my thigh and I'll let you cum around my cock tonight."

That was it. You were instantly gone. The thought of having him stretching you was quickly engraved in your brain. The mental image of you spasming around his cock was enough for you to surrender into a blissful mess. The conversation outside continued and you made a concerted effort to keep your voice down, as waves of pleasure surged through you, causing your limbs to tremble and your muscles to spasm.

It wasn't until the sound of footsteps finally retreating from outside that a wave of relief ran through you, yet your breath still came in ragged gasps as he helped you ride out your orgasm and held you in place, making small ruts against himself with your spastic thighs gripping around him tighter.

"Oh my god—" he pulled you in for a kiss. Spencer's mouth devoured you, hot with a passion that made you dizzy. You whined into his mouth and bucked against him, little whimpers filling his throat. Then you felt his tongue on your bottom lip; you puckered your mouth, letting his tongue invade every corner of your entrance as a thrilling sensation shot right through your veins, finally riding out your orgasmic bliss.

When he finally pulled away, he watched as a string of saliva fell against your lips. He reached out and wiped the bottom of your lip with his thumb as his eyes glazed over your red and sweaty face. They flickered from your face down to your lower half as well as your equally drenched thighs. Yet despite the disheveled state of your hair and the sheen of sweat glistening on your skin, you radiated a raw and untamed beauty.

Spencer always thought you were beautiful, but nothing could compare to the sight before him. Your once-pristine hair was tumbled in disarray around your shoulders, framing your flushed face. Your eyes, half-closed and smoky with desire, held an irresistible allure that seemed to draw him closer with every glance. Then there were your lips, kissed to a plush, inviting fullness, beckoned with a promise of lingering sweetness. You looked wrecked, like a hot, beautiful mess.

And he couldn't wait to ravish you tonight.

[ladymirdan]

There’s a dumbass 4chan thing being shared in groups I’m in where Amazon is supposedly forcing GW to make female custodes bc they want them in the show and HC might walk and ruin GW’s stock and other stupid shit. I know it’s dumb but it’s triggering my anxiety really badly and I can’t get the thought out of my head, especially because these groups are normally a space I feel safe in but there’s been one or two idiots ever since the announcement that has been toxic and it’s hard to enjoy 40k now

I understand, and I'm sorry. I wish these people could be reasoned with, but they cant, because they dont really care about Warhammer, they care about “the issue”. Pointing out things like “the authors of Black Library has fought for this for years” is like water on a duck.

The thing I usually do when I come across those people is try to not engage (difficult, I know, and I fail a lot of times), log off social media for a moment, and go to my local Warhammer store (the offical ones are the best at this).

Seeing the energy from people actually playing the game is so diffrent and sobering. I made a roadtrip across yourube last summer and made a point to visit every GW store along the way, and every single one had happy, excited staff and customers. And it always fills me with that hope and joy again.

I dont do Reddit that much, because its home to some chronically online people that just manages to bait me every time. I like Tumblr the most because its is 99% people to share their hobby experiences (and two angry guys screaming into a bucket).

That being said, the show might be cancelled, it might suck, but Warhammer will survive. It's not like it hasn't had shitty shows before. My favourite one is that Ultramarine movie, which is so bad that it becomes good again.

But you are also right, I have been giving these idiots too much of a platform they dont usually have. And I will be returning to my regular content again, which is geeking out about Ultramarines, Iron Warriors, Emperors Children, Nightlords, or some other flavour of the week (right now Aeldari,)I have been putting off building for a while since my hobby space is a bit messy, but I will clean it up and post more lovely pictures of mini butts.

This will blow over, it always does.

[fatuismooches]

hai smooches.. i cant stop overbrainrotting over two dotty segments lately ..segment who feels the failure pf not being able to cure fragile! reader..and the stern and stoic segment, the one who u wrote as number 4 in ur fic i think?, i cant stop thinking about them 😞

i feel like the failure segment enjoys when u go to his office and sit on the table and he places his hands where ur trapped between them, and he just,, stares at reader.. i feel like a lot of segments do this especially the okder ones but i feel like they do it to fluster reader and flirt w them but not this segment..he just wants to look at u nd only u, then as he keeps lookingn at fragile!reader they place their hands on his cheeks and he flinches bc he was zoning out while admiring them but then his eyes just soften.. hes so precious..

im not sure how segment 4 would interact w fragile!reader but i know reader gets away w a lot of things others would NEVER humor the thiught of doing becayse he just loves u sm do u think hes also a sucker for their attention and affectionate touches?

i was NOT jesting when i said ive been overbraknrotting. my skulls empty by now trying to think of more thoughts abt them.. will u, O’ great ol smooches, spare more brainrots about them pretty pleasw 🤲

(x) AWW I LOVE THIS ANON... You're making me brainrot heavily about those segments as well! Ahh the segment of Dottore feeling an overwhelming sense of failure always makes me... sigh. (If i get more brainrots about this one, I'll probably give him a name haha.) And we can call 04 Delta! (Greek alphabet and all.) (This got WAY longer than I anticipated. Oopsies.)

The segment that feels like he failed you is obviously very attention-starved - at this stage of Dottore's life he neglected to care about anything besides you and his other Fatui duties. Constantly pushing himself inhumanely to obtain even the slightest bit of progress for you. But always ending up with nothing to show. So seeing you awake is very... mhm, I'm not sure the best word but, it's... a lot. As much as he desires your attention (just as every other segment does) he tends to keep his distance since he's not sure to act around you. Dottore himself represses the feeling that he's failing you so he's very much more outward about being all over you, but this segment is entirely open about it and he doesn't know how to act. He looks on from afar and bears witness to your happiness instead. His greatest goal at that stage in his life finally accomplished. (But of course you're not gonna leave this poor bb alone. He gets all the kisses.)

Pretty much no one visits this segment's office, except for the occasional segment and all. He works with no other Fatuis, no, purely by himself because of his very closed-off attitude. Which is why of course when you barge into his office he's naturally caught off guard. He's like... very quiet, uncharacteristically so because like, all the segments would love to talk your ear off but not this one. Either he's quiet or grouchy and snappy to others (not you.) He just watches you as you walk around his lab, responses to your questions rather shortly. It's not that he wants to ignore you this is just... very new for him, considering how long he had to deal with you being motionless.

Until you finally have enough and just plop yourself on his desk, preventing him from doing his work. AHHH the part where you're trapped and he stares at you.... giggles insanely he so does!. Also, you are so right. The other segments do that 100% to tease you, they wanna just kiss you all over and bite and lick while you squirm and blush under them! But this segment, he wants to take in every detail about you. He wants to see how lively you are now, examine every single thing that's different from when you were asleep for so painfully long. He wants to feel how warm you are, how you respond to his movements this time. He wants to hear you simply reassure him that he did everything he could and you're thankful.

Teehee Delta... honestly I wasn't even paying much mind when I dubbed him as the serious segment but!! We're rolling with it! He's one of the segments that literally never smiles. But unlike the others who don't smile either, he's just eternally serious... like at least the Akademiya segment is grumpy and all. You're honestly kind of scared at first because at least the smiles of the others make you feel better... but obviously he is a sucker for your attention hehe, no segment can ever deny this!

You LOVE cracking bad jokes with this segment to see his reaction 😭😭 (there is none besides him staring holes into you) As you said, you can do a lot of silly things and he would just scoff and gently reprimand you, you'll wrap your arms around his head and squish it while lathering him with kisses and he'll just sigh... (the blush is very very faint.) You know that pose where people put their hand against their forehead and lean back in distress? You love doing that with Delta. It's very funny, dramatically falling back into his chest only to be met with 😐

Still, despite his stern and rough tendencies, like all the segments, he's cautious of your health, and will be blunter than others about you pushing yourself or trying to hide your pain. When it comes to your health he tolerates nothing, if it could potentially hurt you. While you're appreciative, you wish he could calm down about that a bit...

[rationalisms]

You mentioned that you don't think legally blonde is progressive and I'd like to hear more of your thoughts on that if you don't mind.

i mean, in the first place (and i promise i'm not trying to sound condescending i just genuinely don't know how else to say this) i think it's important to like... let go of the binary "progressive/oppressive" model of thinking about media, and instead pivot to talking about analysing e.g. films through different theoretical lenses instead.

so instead of trying to make a definitive declarative statement on whether xyz mainstream hollywood romcom IS or ISN'T feminist, fullstop, it's much more useful and conductive to actual productive discussion to analyse it from a feminist perspective instead.

because when you're no longer limited to ones and zeroes, that'll allow you to, say, in the case of legally blonde, both talk about the way that it takes some steps forward in terms of e.g. letting its protagonist succeed at things that are traditionally seen as male, such as academic success (aside: extra ironic bc in most countries women are better students than men but when has propaganda every cared about that), or choose academic success and her career over her erstwhile romantic partner, but also many steps backward.

like the fact that marketing that brand of hyperfemininity/beauty rituals/etc to women as So Empowering Akshually is part and parcel of misogynistic industries owned by men that prey on women's self-image, time, and money to sell them products that they at best don't need and that at worst are actively bad for them. like, they have caught on by now that shaming women for failing to uphold standards of femininity doesn't work nearly as well as selling them as part of a Feminist Identity in which your 50 step skincare routine that you spend 2 hours a day on so as not to show a single sign of aging is actually just Getting In Touch With Your Body and Expressing Your Womanhood. i honestly do not have the time to get into it right now but i recommend reading "femininity and domination: studies in the phenomenology of oppression" by sandra lee bartky, "beauty work: individual and institutional rewards, the reproduction of gender, and questions of agency" by samantha kwan and mary nell trautner, and/or "choosing to conform: the discursive complexities of choice in relation to feminine beauty practices" by avelie stuart and ngaire donaghue.

and so like, the fact that her Grand Crowning Moments in this film (like her win in court or helping jennifer coolidge's character) actually almost all revolve around those beauty practices and how well she manages to uphold them and not, say, the knowledge she's gaining in the incredibly difficult university course she's taking.

OR such as the fact that there's a whole character who's just there to be the frumpy, masculine, feminist lesbian who's suuuuch a killjoy and combative to our poor protagonist for seemingly no reason and just Hates Feminine Women sooo much, and who we are meant to jeer and laugh at when the Right Kind of Woman (read: feminine and heterosexual) wins against her. or how the protagonist's happy ending still has to include a man anyway. or how you can count the people of colour that even just appear in this film on one hand.

this is at this point definitely already long enough lol but i hope you get what i mean? anyway. there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying this film obviously but it's good to be critical of the way these narratives are presented to us, as always.

[thief-of-eggs]

HELLO LOVE <3

Brainworms have been worming extra hard since I stumbled upon your Bruce and Jay post (plus the doomed narratives one,, BELOVED), honestly those two make me so fucking ill oh my god. The tags on ur post? So true. Kith ur tags on the head. LO VE LOVE <3333 adding a little to the discussion since I am ill (and if you don't mind!!)

LOVE THE DOOMED NARRATIVE because their reconciliation is never possible imo. Grief is a wretched force that has twisted Jason's memory from the image of his beloved son into a detached, reckless amalgamation. Bruce compartmentalises to such a degree that if he has to keep functioning (both as Batman and as Bruce Wayne) that he can't possibly face the fact that his actions killed his son. His mission born out of the death of his parents couldn't have killed that bright child who was albeit a little angry at times but so full of compassion and life, right? Right?

But he has to continue. And because he does, he has to, on an internal level, make himself believe that Jason was doomed from the start. That he was too reckless. That he was too much of a mess. That he should've never been Robin (which is true in a different sense, but this line of reasoning is not it) and was destined to die. Bruce's messy cycle of grief has concluded. Acceptance comes in the form of his cherished son now being seen as 'his greatest failure, a reckless Robin, a good soldier.'

And unfortunately, the whole thing about Jason is that he is continually trying to communicate with the Bruce he remembers before he died. They're both on completely different pages in this conversation, and Jason is so mentally ill—oh my god, PTSD?—and he's trying to communicate with someone who doesn't remember him as he was. Plus, Gotham is such an intrinsic part of him that he can never pull away from it. He just gets stuck in a cycle, continually pulling away and then reaching out, and then pulling away—essentially in Limbo.

SJSJOSAOSKSOS I DO LOVE THE BRUCE AND JAY RECONCILE NARRATIVE 😭😭 THEY'RE BOTH NUANCED CHARACTERS, I BELIEVE IN THEM BUT GOD... the amount of growth they'd have to show from both their sides for that to ever happen??? YEAH. NO. 😭😭 AaaaaAAAA

ANYHOW. RANDOM WORDDUMP. U HAVE COOL AF POSTS !!!!! much love !!!!! Thank u for appearing on my tl :D !!!!!

HELLO HELLO!!! WELCOME !!

PLZ add on omg RAHHHHHH !!! Nothing makes me feel more loved as a writer and poster than seeing people get inspired by my silly little words and seeing them expand on !!!!

Also yes yes YES Jason Todd is one of my favorite muses for doomed narratives!! Every single goddamn relationship that kid attempts to have is destined to fail. From his mom to his short-lived time as Bruce’s apprentice/son, to his fragile and tense relationships with his almost-but-not-quite siblings.

Jaw on the floor, first off. Do you write??? Please do you write???? I need to read more of your words if so bc you understand these characters on SUCH a deep level UGH

“-he can’t possibly face the fact that his actions killed his son” - THIS THIS THIS !!!! Bruce is an immovable wall with Jason because he CANNOT accept the accountability. It’s like Jason is having a completely different battle with him, because Jason sees things for as they are, if not a little tainted by his own begrudged feelings, but meanwhile Bruce is seeing things through a clouded lens of denial. Bruce doesn’t understand the pain he caused Jason because he cannot even see it. It does not exist in his mind. Because to accept the pain is to accept WHY the pain is there, which in turn would just spiral out of control and Bruce is forced to accept that his no-kill ideal ended up digging his son’s own grave.

Ugh LOVE the idea of Bruce gaslighting himself into thinking this was how it was always fated to be. Putting the blame not on himself or Jason or the Joker, but on some higher being that he doesn’t even believe in. It’s such a Bruce coping mechanism. Sweeping everything under the rug bc now he can’t see it. IM UNWELL

YES YES THEY ARE ON SUCH DIFFERENT PAGES!!! YOU GET IT!!! They literally are having two separate conversations and neither understands why their words aren’t sinking in to the other. They may as well be talking to their own hallucinations at this point- Jason at the memory of his father and Bruce at the doomed ghost of a boy who once was.

And YUP that’s why I write little “good dad bruce” fics and read so many too, because I WANT them to reconcile but… in the actual real world reality? I think the best they could do is an uncomfortable middle ground. Where Jason is no longer antagonized, but not exactly welcomed either. He’d have an expected seat at the table, but he’d never come. He’d be on every place card, every invite, but he’d never show up. He’d be included, but would choose to stay away. And that breaks my heart but also I truly don’t think either of them can go beyond that. In an effort to cling to familiarity and sanity and a guilt free life, Bruce pushed his biggest regret away. He could have had his son back, but instead he chose to believe it couldn’t be true. And like the greatest self fulfilled prophecy, he made it true.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY AND BLESSING MY INBOX !!! seeing so many words made my itty bitty heart so happy. biggest MWAH to you <33

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

[bloodied-dagger]

some song recs based off lyrics

@rainbowangel110 has asked, so I shall deliver

did I spend entirely way too much time on this? Yes. Was it worth it? Probably not. Did I have to add the lyrics I related to the most for every single song? No, but rainbow specifically mentioned the lyric posting and it's fun soooooo (anyways it's 4:30 AM over here so. if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. I'll edit this in the morning so it won't have any)

Complete list without the commentary is at the bottom. List is in a Song Title - Artist format

Alternative

“Alternative” is being very loosely used here, there will be other genres mixed in here. Also, there is no particular order for this bit

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons This is probably the most country song you'll ever get out of me, right next to the Nickleback song I've got in there

'Cause I will wait I will wait for you And I will wait I will wait for you

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk This is very alt-rock emo of me, sorry rainbow

I tried breathing underwater to drown out the doubt Cracked under the pressure and nearly bled out You said you'd always save me - so where are you now? Feels like I'm failing, I'm dancing while drowning alone

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates Honestly I don't really care about the lyrics for this one, I just think I should throw something a bit more mellow after that last one and it's a good song so

And where we go, nobody knows Those bells are ringing, ringing loud Oh lord, we're going down - six underground Those bells are ringing, ringing loud

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME Once again I throw a song in for the vibes and not the lyrics. Sue me

And now, well Some things just cannot be fixed With sparkled tongues and politics In a fascist little paradox, we all become anonymous

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage Okay, last one I'm adding for the vibes- for now

I, I've never seen a storm this fierce I, am feelin' rather small in here As the walls start to compress Shifting, squirming, restlessness

For You - Loveless Alright now here's a song I'm adding for the lyrics. It's also more on the rock song but it's not that heavy I don't think (maybe minus the bridge where it goes all heavy metal baseline for 8 or so bars)

Wasted my time Why would I ever waste another line on you, you? Crossing the line Why would I ever tell another lie for you, you?

Apologies - acloudyskye You must be something else if you thought we were getting out of this list without a skye song in here. This one isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea bc it's electronic but I like it so

I often think about their lives A fault in me I can't deny And in the end I won't even think So, apologies for all these things

Broken Zipper - Group Project You know I had to put a gp song on here somewhere. This one's def a more feel good song, also one I use to call myself out on with when I'm getting pissed about the little things Although it is a love song about crushing on your best friends sister or something? Whatever

You spend one week's worth of pay on your night out Wrote in pen and ran out of white out Lost your shades and it's much too bright out But who the fuck cares when you're breathing fine right now?

Could've Been Me - The Struts This song has made me cry, and that's an achievement when it's as upbeat of a song as it is

I wanna live better days Don't want to look back and say "It could've been me It could've been me"

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ Came because the song is an emo banger, stayed because I related to it a little while later. This one's also very rock, but I have to have a few in here

But if this is the last time I say sorry Then I'll take it back, 'cause I don't mean it You are the cancer in my body I'm done playing dead 'cause I still feel it

Through the Ghost - Shinedown No idea what living "through the ghost" means but it sounds poetic as hell

Speak of the devil, Look who just walked into the room The guilty invaded notion Of someone I once knew

Reason for Living - Morgan Page This song is actually for the beat saber soundtrack, and so is the next one. Naturally, it's on the more electronic/dance side of things but some of the lyrics are Big Mood™ so

'Cause I don't even sleep no more these days No such thing as staying up too late And nobody's at home waiting for me I'm staying up on a feeling - it's the reason for living

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling The fact that beat saber can get lindsey-fucking-stirling on a song is kind of crazy to me. Like. What

Heavy weight Feel it in my past mistakes But I think I've carried them For way too long

Inertia - AJR The shortest songname - artistname on this whole list, probably because it's competition is an artist who's name is abbreviated to IDKHBTFM. Anyway, when this came out I fucking Felt It hearing these words for the first time, and they still hit me the same way (maybe even more effectively than before)

An object in motion Don't ask where I'm going 'Cause where I am going is right where I am (Oh man!)

Alma Mater - Group Project This song reminds me of good times. Maybe not better times, but good ones that're long gone now.

I said "Hey, Why we always end up staying out late, Staying out late?"

It's a love song but I'm 100% not focused on that at all /gen

(Sad, yet) Impactful

Little commentary, songs in order of how impactful each of them are in my opinion (top = least, bottom = most) Also a good portion of these are probably heartbreak songs or smth but I'm pretending they're not like an aromantic would

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

It's getting late, I sipped too much Look at me strange, I'll be too blunt I'm easy to hate; I'm hard to love But you love me anyway - or is it lust?

I Won't Beg for You - Chri$tian Gate$

'Cause I won't beg for you, my dear These knees have bled, pulled out my hair Didn't know you tried to burn us down Even when we tried to work it out

Call Me - Shinedown

I finally put it all together But nothing really lasts forever I had to make a choice that was not mine I had to say goodbye for the last time

By The Way - Theory of a Deadman I usually listen to the "(Acoustic) [Bonus Track]" version of this song when I'm sad. figured that was worth mentioning so it isn't out of place (a hard rock song in the middle of a slower song list)

By the way You left without saying goodbye to me Now that you're gone, away All I can think about is you and me, you and me

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

And if it gets better It's taking forever And what's with this weather? It's not getting better

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

So Before you go Was there something I could've said to make it all feel better? If only I had known you had a storm to weather

Landing In London - 3 Doors Down

And when the night comes in around me And I don't think I'll make it through I'll use your light to guide my way 'Cause all I think about is you

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

Are you with me after all? Why can't I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can't I feel you?

To Build a Home - Grace Page

And I built a home For me, for you Until it disappeared From me, from you And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Better Than Me - Bohnes

'Cause I Know that you Deserve better than me Better than me, yeah

My Body Is a Cage - Peter Gabriel This one's only here because of that full orchestra impact moment honestly

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should've known That I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

My Immortal - Effervescent

These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world?

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

It's over Oh, and under Under we go So far below

Full list, no commentary:

Alternative

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage

For You - Loveless

Apologies - acloudyskye

Broken Zipper - Group Project

Could've been me - The Struts

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ

Through the Ghost - Shinedown

Reason for Living - Morgan Page

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling

Inertia - AJR

Alma Mater - Group Project

Impactful

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

I Won't Beg For You - Chri$tian Gate$

Call Me - Shinedown

By The Way (Acoustic) [Bonus Track] - Theory of a Deadman

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

Before you go - Lewis Capaldi

Landing in London - 3 Doors Down

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

To Build a Home - Grace Page

Better Than me - Bhones

My Body Is a Cage - Gabe Peters

No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

My Immortal - Effervescent

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

[eddiegettingshot]

i don’t think this is what you were asking for when you made that post about needing to know the drama but im gonna give you the drama anyway bc BESTIE why is my life actually a fucking nightmare rn i am trying to finish college and my instructor has decided that he is going to fuck with me bc it can’t ever just he easy right? so im taking 3 classes for my final semester right? i have a 3.8 gpa, on track to graduate with honors, turning in all my assignments in on time if not early…

so why the FUCK do open the gradebook yk find that I have a FAILING GRADE IN THIS MAN’S CLASS

i look through my grades to see wtf is going on and not only has he A) put in 0’s for upcoming assignments that aren’t even open to be completed yet, but he also B) has added in 5 written-in grades of 0 that he’s called “attendance score” (it’s an online course with no actual classes, in person OR via zoom). Upon examination of what the fuck these scores are supposed to be, he has put that because I “don’t log onto the course portal more than twice a week, he marks me down as absent” bc in his mind i should be “logging on at least once a day”

TO DO WHAT? SIT THERE?? IF I DO THE WORK IN ONE SITTING WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO LOG IN EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK

so now my GPA has dropped from a 3.8 to a fucking 2.7 bc i have a fucking 49% in this class and if I don’t bring my gpa back up to at least a 3.5 by July 20th, I lose my spot to graduate with honors

so i get in contact w my advisor and bring it to her attention bc what the fuck, right? she tells me that there’s nothing she can do bc technically he has a right to set expectations for his course and can grade accordingly

BUT THE KICKER IS THAT HE DIDNT EVEN TELL US THAT THAT WAS A COURSE EXPECTATION TO BEGIN WITH

so now me and like 6 other students out of the 15 of us in this class ate trying to petition the Dean of the department to wave those grades off of our records bc we all were set to graduate w honors and now we aren’t bc of this dumbfuckery and the Dean is like “I’ll see what I can do but I can’t guarantee anything will be done by graduation bc it’s less than a month away” so now our PARENTS are having to all get involved and it’s like literally this would all not be a problem if this guy wasn’t acting like he’s a professor at fucking Harvard and not a literal community college in the middle of nowhere 💀💀💀

anyway, i saw an invitation to spill some tea and took it and hope this at least provided some entertainment for you 💞💞

ok first of all i need to know all the drama all the time so this is great. BUT i am SOOOO sorry checking login times is literally a level of insane i have never experienced before … what is wrong with this guy 😭 i hope u guys get it figured out

[panpanpanini]

detco salt. tl;dr i am officially in the 1000s now and i wish i was in a better mood about it

-

i already said my piece about 1000/1001 as failures of commemorative specials but 999 really wasn't much better either. like really not. they super dropped the ball on a real milestone section of the series, huh... to say nothing of smile village and frying pan of hatred which come right before this too

i don't actually have -that- much to whinge about on this one [spoilers: i proceed to whinge on and on about it] bc it IS just filler at the end of the day but there are times when i'm just so, SO confused about the messages detco is trying to get across. its stance on certain things, especially as pertains to morality and justice, are sometimes just so wildly inconsistent (as is expected from a show with over 1000 episodes and 27 movies, but still). to save you 20 minutes, in episode 999 the victim-- a man who can only be described as a serial abuser of emergency services-- is first assaulted by a restaurant patron, then later found dead by his colleague. he did not die from the assault, instead it was his colleague who dealt the final blow. the victim had wronged both people with his frivolous tattling, so to speak. the episode ends with conan/kogoro reading the first assailant--the restaurant patron-- as a guy who consciously chose not to follow through with murder and praising him for "controlling himself" in the end. which. ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i remember this being a bigger issue in some of the earlier episodes but...to put it bluntly... -attempted- robbery/murder/assault is still a crime, is it not????? i'm not talking about how -bad- of a crime it is, getting halfway through the crime -is- still a crime, right?? why on earth does this show sometimes try to impart that it isn't?

i just find it so weird every single time the series insists that justice is black and white [1] because it's not and [2] for as many instances of moral binaries that exist within the show there are just as many grey areas that it creates to which it applies those binaries anyway, even if it fails to address them like a deeper crime show would. morality is a gradient and that gradient is different from person to person, from culture to culture, and oftentimes the laws which write this code into the legal system don't reflect those shades of grey, but. i think most people would agree that trying to commit a crime is still... committing a crime... and stooping to a thesis statement which basically boils down to "you get a gold star for only assaulting a guy when you could've killed him" is horrifically careless. ESPECIALLY literal seconds after the same character chides the murderer as a guy whose crime is 'unforgivable.' is the bar really so low? what the hell is this weird double standard? i understand what they were trying to get across (that is, "this could have been much worse") but wowee zowee it's so badly executed and frankly probably shouldn't be your first choice of message in this situation. who wrote this???

episodes like this cause me to wade in disappointment because like plenty of other detco filler, there's opportunity to explore other things which make the detective genre endearing beyond serialized whodunits. in isolation the idea of a guy being fooled into believing he may have gone too far and killed someone is interesting. speculating on why he didn't follow through with killing the guy in the first place is interesting too and could be an exploration of character. the guy who did actually end up doing the killing could also be explored since it's never really established whether he premeditated the exact circumstances that led up to the murder, especially since he wasn't in cahoots with the first assailant-- rather, he comes across as an opportunist who already had it in mind to take out the victim and just saw that the time had come. in short... there's just a lot more to comment on here than capping the episode with something weird like "good job on not 100% killing the guy who ruined your life." why not consider something like regret, or whatever the criminal equivalent of buyers' remorse is?? more than once detco episodes have said some bizarre pieces on situations like this and, at least to me, transcends from [weird OOC dialogue] to [mouthpiece for the writer.] is it a crime in itself to plan a murder but not act on it? if not, how far is too far? when does someone cross the line from fantasy to premeditation? the victim was the type of person to call the police on people who "looked suspicious" - we can agree that this was cranked up to cartoonishly karen levels for the show, but there are definitely people out there who behave similarly, with behaviors having roots in things like systemic unconscious bias or xenophobia. how does the law deal with these people who call emergency services willy-nilly? is there legal punishment for such people who abuse the system (and in the presence of vigilante justice, as is what ultimately happened here, does that suggest there is none)?

these are all things that are infinitely more intriguing than the final product. and i didn't make any of it up either, i pulled all of this from what we were shown; the groundwork is there but time and time again detco does this low-key infuriating thing where it just doesn't ask questions. more than anything that i mumble and grumble about in this series i find this above all to be extremely annoying. like i almost can't take it sometimes, there have been a few other episodes like this where i can't really do anything but be bewildered (553 comes to mind as THE worst offender so far). i would argue that detective fiction is one of the greyest brands of storytelling out there, so for detco to consistently-- and seemingly willingly-- avoid shades of grey like water and oil is utterly baffling to me and i'm mostly sure this is The Thing that will eventually drive me away from it again [context: i fell back in love with detco in 2021, the first was in 2004 and my interest tapered off in 2007/8 or so]. i'm pessimistic it will ever change course to the degree that i would like (that's a silly expectation), but... there are episodes peppered throughout its catalogue that do, at the very least, acknowledge that these questions are out there (ie 956/957) but rather like other story beats and character developing moments it's almost like the series is cursed to rubber band back to the status quo each time it takes a risk! why??? (this is rhetorical, i'm not looking for an answer)

[huff]

okay. that's all. i didn't like episode 999 lmao

[amermaidsecretdiary]

Hiiii first of all i love your account + post about loa <3 secondly i'm sorry for my english if is bad or awful but it is not my first language.

I have some question about the law, i'm just discouver loa for like a month ago so i'm pretty new to all of that and there stuff that's quite confused the hell out of me and i'm sorry if it's gonna sound really fucking dumb but i'm struggling right now and i would like to have your take for my questions :

- What does it mean when people say that "you have it in imagination" precisly ? How to know your 4D is your real reality when your face your 3D evey single day and theres nothing that seems to change ? How to know you accept correctly your assumption about a desire ? Do we have to feel and think a certain way after we accept our desire as a fact ?

- i want to manifest my dream face + desire appearance + a big amount of money + multiple SP's like how do i do from that because i'm quite lost right now tbh i would some clarity from you 😊

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer me love u' ♡( AGAIN verry sorry for my english tho 💀💀 )

hello love I'm so glad u like my blog and u don't have to apologize for your English! English isn't my first language either ☺️

So what people mean when they say you have it in imagination is that imagination is what creates your reality. Basically, you make your assumptions in your imagination and your imagination reflects them to your physical world. Let's look at some examples: remember that one time you didn't study for a test and you assumed and knew that you would fail and you did fail? Or that time you looked at a new food and thought to yourself "this looks nasty" and when you tried it, it tasted nasty? Or the other time you thought that your crush didn't like you bc you didn't see yourself as the person that your crush would like and they end up not liking you??I could say 1 million examples like that. All those happened bc you assumed it and accepted it. You know that there is a bed in your bedroom right? You assume that the moment you enter your room you are going to see your bed. You don't doubt and wonder to yourself "is there actually a bed in my room?" That's exactly why there is a bed in your room : because you assume there is.

So when you want to manifest your desires that you mentioned, you have to understand that once you say that you have them you do in your imagination. Your imagination is blind and just believes and does what u say to it. So when u say to yourself "I have my desired appearance" then in your imagination you do. It's done. But then if you go to the mirror and think to yourself "I hate my appearance, who am I kidding I am never going to manifest my desired appearance" and blah blah then you stop having it in imagination. So the key is to just keep reminding to yourself that you have your desire! Now the 3D is our physical world that reflects our imagination. You shouldn't focus on changing the 3D but on changing your imagination because that's what manifests. Everything you see in your 3D you can change it so u don't have to worry when u see things that you don't like ! Just have faith in imagination and everything will go your way. And about the feeling, just ask yourself how would u feel if you were the person that has their desire (bc you are). You may not feel anything at all and that's totally ok ! If you looked at the mirror and saw your desired appearance how would you feel? Would u feel confident? Happy? Neutral?? Every person is different and deals different with their feelings and emotions.

Hope I helped you love 💗 go manifest your desires now you deserve it !

[sexynetra]

9, 30, 32, and 37 please :)

9. tell a story about your childhood

When I was i think 9 or 10, I had a neighbor who every single weekend we would walk a mile to the grocery store together, buy boxed cake mix and frosting and decorations, and walk back to their house. We would then bake a cake and chat the whole time (also sidebar, a lot of those cakes wound up being rainbow bc we were both baby egg gays but that’s beside the point). Anyways, one of these times, maybe like a year or two into this tradition idk we started jokingly talking about creating our own nation to secede from the US. We called it Rekelmoria and wrote a constitution in comic sans and designed a flag and in a drawer somewhere I am so sure I still have a shirt with that flag printed on it 😂 anyways who wants to join rekelmoria and form our own country I’m like 70% sure our national anthem was a shitty cover of thrift shop by Macklemore

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

Him :)

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

On my phone? Easily 1000+

On my computer? I think 8-9 currently? I had to close most of my tabs for my computer to handle finishing the last chapter of rawnsyf because of the size of the document and the amount of edits in it 😂

37. share a secret

Hmmmmm I don’t feel like I have many secrets honestly 😭 I love photos and videos of dogs but they kind of stress me out irl? I don’t think I’ll ever 100% get over my middle school crush on my best friend? Idk

[speedytimemachineblizzard]

Putting Myself FIRST

Before My Spiritual Awakening, I was just living like everyone else, I suppose, I like to joke around NOW, and refer to THAT way of living as “living on autopilot”. My mind was always full of self doubt, worry, fear of the unknown, unsure of who I was or why I was even here, even though I felt like I was missing something, but could never quite place my finger on it. I put up with a lot of people’s bad behavior, I allowed disrespect and simply put, I let everyone walk all over me, doing my absolute best to avoid conflict and would keep the peace at ANY cost, until I realized the cost was actually MY peace.

Oh, the lengths, we as empaths, will go to make sure everyone ELSE is happy and everyone else’s needs are met, thinking we’re actually one step ahead and at peace, not even realizing the resentment building deep inside our soul from not receiving to the same in return from the ones we try so hard to put before our own needs and wants. Over giving, taking on more responsibility than I could handle, and accepting behavior that I would NEVER again in my life imagine of allowing left me in a constant state of feelings defeated, not feeling good enough, unappreciated, taken advantage of, depressed, full of anxiety always worrying about failing or falling short..just plain, flat out unhappy and lacking what I know cherish most, my peace. Living that way my whole adult life eventually caught up with, as it ultimately will with everyone, and I suffered a huge emotional breakdown my last day at work back, which is also the day I quit. The workplace I was employed at affected me so greatly, and even after being advised from family, friends and even former co-workers to just leave, I stayed. I stayed because I felt comfortable, I knew what to expect every single day, including the disrespectful and sny remarks from co workers. I stayed because it fit my schedule as a single mother, having certain times I could work and in the field I was in at the time, the hours I HAD were unheard of and not many people were lucky Enough to receive such a flexible work schedule. So I traded my dignity, worth and emotional/mental health and overall well being for those hours, looking back.

Work wasn’t my only dilemma, of course. I had also personal problems, dealing with a very unhappy family (not my own children): Siblings and as great as my parents have been and ARE, them as well. My parents unintentionally treated me that way of course. I had also recently left a very abusive relationship where I dealt with not only physical abuse, but also verbal, emotional, financial and spiritual abuse and Was trying my best to move on as quickly as possible. Dealing with drinking, trying to numb out some of the pain, I was dealing with just a massive amount responsibility as a single mom taking care of her kids, living in fear of my life bc of my ex, taking on the emotional responsibility of my mother and sister, etc. On top of dealing with my own health issues and mental health. Depression , Anxiety, OCD to name a few. It wasn’t until one day (Yes, one VERY random day) I said : Enough is enough. It hasn’t occured to me, as silly as it sounds, until then, my mid 30’s, that you know what? THIS is not any way for anyone to live. I was like, “What about ME?” I MATTER too! I need love and support TOO! I need a break TOO! I need someone to listen to me as I cry TOO! I deserve to have my needs and wants met TOO! I deserve respect TOO! I deserve to be put first TOO! I remember the day and it was like a tsunami of emotions flooding the gate, it was overwhelming and all consuming. I remember, as well, having random flashbacks from my very blurry childhood that I didn’t realize at the time, were so far suppressed within me. I was angry. Appalled. I was FURIOUS and I felt like my life was a lie. And how could I have not even known? That’s crazy right? No. I know now that it was my body’s way of protecting myself. I had a lot of unresolved issues that NEEDED to be brought to light. Easy right? No. I had no idea I’d spend the next yr or so In isolation, due partly to depression, but also due to my anger and resentment I had developed after all the years towards very special people in my life.

THIS IS WHERE things got even more chaotic. This is where my whole entire way of thinking and view in life changed. I knew LIFE had to be more…

[chesthighwater]

(character ask thing)

I thought everyone would ask you about Martin...... But if no one does, then I will. :^)

First impression: (havelock describes him as a brilliant tactician/strategist/what have you) oh No. no no no no. that sounds like exactly the character archetype i am into and i REFUSE. i will NOT like this guy purely because hes all tactical and smart. get thee behind me not today satan i rebuke you (sees him chained up in the stocks and being smarmy about bad circulation and mittens and What A Sight You Are In That Mask) FUCK (sees him being all silver tongued and schemey and contemplating maps) FUCK!!!!

Impression now: oh he is everything to me. i project every single thing that has ever been wrong with me onto this man. i stuff him with issues like a piñata. cunning bastard. disgustingly self-serving, always five steps ahead for nothing but his own benefit until he gets a little too comfortable and stumbles. hubris hubris hubris. he loves to fucking push it, doesn't he? he can't take the middle road. he can't be a regular overseer, oh no he has to aim for ascension and at the same time think he can afford to break public enemy nr 1 out of prison and dabble with heresy and high treason. constantly pushing it. i mean that's one of my favourite things about him. and layers upon layers of deceit. master manipulator, charming in a quiet way. not flashy, just convincing. and i rotate him in my head at all times at varying speeds and angles

Favorite moment: his entire existence. ok. every day in-game id go talk to that guy until i exhausted the dialogue options. He<3. but a moment i do particularly like is his altercation with pendleton- he's very clearly holding back At All Times and this is one of those moments (well, the only moment) we get to see him actually not subdue his anger (arent you tired of lying to randos in order to manipulate them dont you just want to go apeshit). i love the fact that he was the one who orchestrated both corvos prison break and corvos tragically failed murder. ALSO I MEAN the kingsparrow confrontation is such a memorable moment bc of all the ways it can end!!! in my first playthrough i made sure to save martin by sleepdarting him and was very disappointed that that doesnt give the "target neutralised" thing. LET ME SAVE HIM

Idea for a story: (points at my 25 page ideas folder where Every Single One is about him and laughs) i have ideas upon ideas. i have ideas no other human being would care to see. and if you talk to me about martin i WILL inevitably tell you about them

Unpopular opinion: i guess being this much of a martin enjoyer is unpopular in and of itself? :'D but i guess. i do push his negative characteristics very hard- i don't interpret him very generously, i suppose, in ways that other people sometimes do. and i guess: he's not at all particularly contradictory or cognitively dissonant he just lies a lot

Favorite relationship: ♡daudmartin♡ as per usual

Favorite headcanon: my martin headcanons could fill a book, or perhaps several, but here is one i go particularly feral for. he's smart and cunning and all of that, yes, but he knows he's smart. he firmly believes it, is incredibly confident about it, and that right there is his downfall. constantly. he underestimates others, even people he knows he should be very careful with, and gets way too comfortable thinking he can totally manage no matter what. (and this is why i love putting him in situations where that is Not the case and he cannot in fact manage) [and i had to stop myself here before i delved into YET ANOTHER headcanon]

ask me about characters if you'd like <3

[capcavan]

Oh no you're completely right he a pathetic PERSON I just mean that you have to be able to see him as a threat BECAUSE of that. Like he is throwing a tantrum that Will get people killed the way children break toys. That's WHY it's hard to write him in a way that both has every single one of his plans fail (which, in the canon, almost none do because he is so unpredictable in his moods) AND doesn't feel like Neil could just have killed him this whole time. Which is why it's more of a problem in AUs, because tweaking the circunstances around Riko that allow him to mantain his delusion of power can just crumble his entire character. You can't give him real power but you also can't make it so he has NO protection, even if he is always going to be ultimately disposable to those who do protect him now

Worddddd

I will tell you a secret

It really boils down to respecting your tools

As a writer you can't characterize person as a threat just to turn them into a joke and giving riko actual footing would be considered giving him respect and people who just want to humiliate him as their bargain bin version of therapy session will not do that.

And yes I love this angle - dangerous because unpredictable - dangerous because he does not have a lot to lose- it's sad riko got shot when be did because he got shot at a point where he could have developed either in better person or someone so much worse

- riko did not kill Jean during his breakdown( I really hope we will see this scene in tsc ) because he still wanted to keep Jean on raven team ( wchih I call bushit I feel like jean shouldn't be able to play or walk after that beatdown BC again Jean making recovery kind of paints riko as lesser threat in direct sense )

- riko wanted to kill Neil only after he lost the game . He lost with ravens and it was the last thing he had to lose

The broken hand is really after thought in the equation BC he got murdered too soon to know if it would make him unable to play or not but the game being lost pushed him off the edge already

So yeah at that point he had nothing too lose .. other than his life I guess :) shame !

Also for AU's and fanworks there's the issue of people making Andrew and Neil op, people tend to idealize them and make Andrews 150 short ass into terminator he is not. Andrew is a kid from juvie standing on a goal not world class powerlifter with combat training.

Riko is certainly not dumb or weak the things that hold him back are the way his trauma and upbringing made him unable to acknowledge other people as posing a real threat

But being smart and strong are positive qualities and we can't have that under his resume

[equinooxe]

for some reason tumblr isn’t showing me your reblogs in my notifications(?) but thanks to the tag in your answer i got to see the tags you put in the royai day art and i can’t stop thinking about them.. you’re so right..!!

i drew that thinking about how roy feels responsible for everything she has been through, and yet riza still gives him another chance to fulfill his promise to make the world a better place and chooses to keep trusting him… he can’t make up for what he’s done, so he wants riza to never regret trusting him again. you know that scene in ishval when riza basically tells roy she’s responsible for what he’s done since she trusted him in the first place? if i were him hearing that would hurt way more than if she just shot me in the head LOL

so it might be delusional thinking but to me everything roy fights for leads back to riza. he wants to make things right for what it is but also because it’s what he’s promised her… so hearing from riza that she doesn’t regret trust him would mean that he’s finally doing things right :,) i would sob too

im happy you mentioned the fact it’s young riza in your tags, bc i felt it adds much more weight drawing this representation of her instead of any other, but i rarely see people commenting on it and i felt so proud of myself for that train of thought HAHA to finally fulfill the promise he made so long ago to that young and innocent riza who believed in his idealistic dreams enough to trust flame alchemy to him………..!!!

i always enjoy reading about your interpretations and thoughts because i always agree wholeheartedly…!! the fact my drawing brought more of that makes me very happy, so thank you for the tags!! love the way you put it all into words, i wish i had that power too :,) sorry for the long message ……… !! have a nice day!!!

YEAH!!!!

I really wish we knew under what circumstances Mustang left her after he deciphered flame alchemy. Now it just looks like he got what he wanted from her and then left. Roy said at the funeral he would do anything for his master. Berthold makes one request: look after Riza. And he just... doesn’t do that. What a bastard. 

Like he was so focused on his own quest for knowledge and power, that he did not see how he failed the person closest to him. He left her behind and did not use the alchemy how he promised. He couldn’t protect her from her father, not from herself and her choices, not from her becoming a murderer. Of course he will regret not doing more, and feels responsible for ruining her life. He even encouraged her to go down the same path by inspiring her. At least that is how I think Mustang may see it from his perspective?

It does makes sense that what he fights for leads back to her!!. His philosophy/goal is to protecting as much people as possible by protecting those closest to him, then they in turn protecting those close to them. And Hawkeye is the closest to him :) he would even give up everything just to protect her if he had to.

I love that you drew that piece with younger Riza, the person he failed the hardest, and future fuhrer Roy who has reached his goal. For him to hear he made that young Riza’s dream come true...... Your brain is massive. 

But seriously I love your amazing art and attention to all those details like that!! I’m Likewise nodding along your interpretations. And how you can capture that all in a single image every time. Or just with your fun doodles. It really shows how much you get them personally...! Say hi to arakawa for me hfjgjjgjs

[marley-manson]

3, 5, 6, and 14 for movie asks and i may be back with more ✨️

3. What is a film you absolutely despise and why?

Hmm I can think of a few answers here.

One is Antichrist, which I despise because it's an extremely well-made and engaging movie that's just absolutely wildly misogynist. Not in a women being objectified and mistreated by the narrative way, but literally in a 'the thesis statement of this movie is that women are evil' way lol, featuring certain essentialist masculine and feminine stereotypes taken to extremes. It's Lars Von Trier's divorce movie iirc so yeah. Anyway I hate it personally because I had to watch it for 2 different film studies courses, and the second time I intended to bounce bc I didn't care to watch it again but it's unfortunately so well-made it suckered me into staying, so I have extra resentment towards it for that lol.

Another is Four Christmases because my sister likes those obnoxious 00s comedies and due to circumstances beyond my control I've found myself sitting through it with her like 3 separate times. It's just grating as hell. This is my petty pick.

And I'll finish with Crash (2004). I don't watch a lot of oscar nominated white dude takes on racism but I happened to see this one and good lord it was horrifyingly bad. From the cop apologia to the cardboard cut-out stereotypes to the both sidesism to framing racism as an unfortunate tragedy that's no one's fault rather than a system perpetuated by those with privilege to, most horrifyingly, depicting a rapist as heroic including using the image of his heroism in promotional materials, it was practically a lesson in how bad a critically acclaimed movie could be. And like I recognize that it was trying to be ~morally grey~ with that rapist thing lol but it failed completely. The message was 'despite the assault this guy is still heroic' and not 'despite saving his victim's life this dude is still a fucking racist rapist.'

5. What is your favorite genre of film?

Oof idk, I'm open to almost all genres if it's a good movie. I love genre as a concept and film theory in and of itself, like any film is worth watching if it's a well-known pillar or deconstruction of or twist on its genre. lol I guess maybe I'll say satire? I love commentaries and stories that are responding to something, and satire is a really strong hook for me.

6. What is your least favorite genre of film?

het romcom. I don't hate every single one I've ever seen, but it's a very high percentage lmao, especially if we specify the late 80s/90s resurgence. And of the ones I like, it's always because there's something else going on with the story that's more interesting and lets me tolerate the romance.

14. Who is your favorite director? Why?

I'm not actually much of a cinephile so there aren't a lot of directors whose work I follow, and none whose oeuvre I've fully completed, so I have no solid answer. Most directors I'm into have films I love and films that don't particularly appeal.

That said, my answer right now is Billy Wilder. Every Billy Wilder movie I've seen is an instant fave, and he has a recurring vibe that strongly appeals to me. Wry cynicism, dark humour, and usually some exploration of gender roles/subverted masculinity. Plus just solid, iconic filmmaking. If I was making a list of directors whose work I'd be willing to go full completionist on, his would be at the top of the list.

Thank you!