#because chase has spent so long living off the bare minimum that he feels bad having something so great that isn't necessary for survival

[batteriesandflashlights]

on my writing: stuck between "kenshi and chase have a lot of trust in each other and would never suspect the other person wants to leave them" and "oooooo but the dramaaaaaa of what if they both thought the other wanted to leave them"

[purpleyellow]

Stress

BTS 8th member

Sunny’s masterlist

“Sunny and Yoongi have a conflict″ Thank you for the anon who requested this!!

Disclaimer As the anon said, I too think Suga would be a more calm person, so I had a lot of fun thinking about a situation he would get so worked up. As a disclaimer this is in no way shape or form, me trying to guess what the boys went through in that moment, all the words written are fiction and made with entertainment porpuses. 

a/n:Your opinion is very important for me, send feedback and requests anytime 💜 Also, don’t be shy and interact a little, ask box is always open.

"We were mentally struggling at the beginning of the year. While talking amongst ourselves, we even considered disbanding.”  - Seokjin, 2018 MAMA

On edge, that was how every BTS member was feeling in the past few weeks. It was like nothing was working for them, their bond getting tested every moment and even the smallest decisions creating friction between themselves or the company. 

Sunny herself didn’t have the mind to do anything at that moment, the meeting that was supposed to last all day had been called off after the first five minutes by their own manager, who allegedly “Didn’t think they should talk about those things at that moment”, and she didn’t want to just go home without doing anything productive.

Going to the cafeteria to refresh her thoughts before finding something to do, she found strange how empty the place was. It was usually filled with staff members, trainees, and general people who worked in the building, but now all of the tables were empty, except for one.

Right in the corner of the room sat a person dressed in black from head to toe, staring blankly into space as he siped from his coffee. Yoongi had just as bad of a day as she did, and as he sat on his studio to work on something nothing seemed to come to his mind except the blood boiling talk he had with one of the producers. 

Getting her own cup of coffee, Sunny considered if not sitting in the same table as him would be weird. Of course, the few people who worked very closely with them knew about the phase BTS was going through, but if anyone else passed by and saw them sitting far away rumors could start spreading. 

Pulling the chair in front of his so she could sit down, the girl missed his eyes snapping out of his daze and studying her figure before looking straight ahead again. She didn’t know if he was waiting for her to say something or not, so she decided to start a random conversation, hoping the worst thing she would get would be no answer.

“Did you see they changed the lobby’s carpet to a pastel blue color? I thought it looked pretty, maybe we could use it as inspiration and change the curtains of the dorms” She said nonchalantly and took a sip her coffee “I mean, we haven’t clean those in a while, let’s just get rid of them”

Suga snorted rolling his eyes, taking another sip he placed his cup down before staring at her with an unamused face “Is that really what you’re worried about?”

“It’s not my top priority, but it is something I think about. I mean, it has been collecting dust for a while and it could affect-”

“Well, fuck Sunny, really?” He cut her off laughing sarcastically and throwing his head back. “We’ve all been stressing like crazy and the only thing you care about is some blue pastel drapes”

“I don’t care about them, I just wanted to make small talk” She rolled her eyes speaking more firmly “But if you think I’m not as stressed as you then let’s talk about it”

“Oh, shall we?” He smirked looking around “C’mon tell me what worries you, did no one told you your hair looks pretty today? I bet that’s the biggest struggle you went through”

“What is with you today?" Sunny exclaimed, not having the patience to deal with his irony.

"Geez Sunny you really are oblivious huh? Pop the little bubble you live in, Bangtan could be ending right now, do you expect me to be laughing and paying attention to the small wonders in the world? NO” He slapped the table making the girl flinch from the scare. 

“I AM aware of what’s going on, why did you think I tried talking to you?” She exclaimed putting a defensive hand on her chest. “Do you really think I don’t care about our future?”

“I think you’re not as passionate about this group like the rest of us,” He said still sitting down, gaze as cold as ice “To me you’re still that child who was put into the group the SEVEN of us build, it seems like people liked you so we kept growing, but think about it, you weren’t there when we build our name out of nowhere”

“You’re salty because of something that happened years ago?” Sunny widened her eyes and Yoongi snorted once again, his chilled position didn’t match the attacking tone of his voice and that was getting on her nerves. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here from the beginning, but since I joined you guys I have put all my blood, sweat and tears into the group, you cannot just say I was handed things”

“Oh, but you were. Can’t you see that everything-” He started but got interrupted.

“So all the times I spent”

“DO NOT CUT ME OFF WHE I’M SPEAKING” He raised his voice making her lose all the words in her head “This is what I’m talking about, MY GOD, we spoiled you too much. I told Namjoon we should assign you a specific thing to do, but he would always protect you, saying you were free to work on whatever you wanted. Now here we are, you get all the attention because you do the bare minimum, while the dumbass here works his ass off and gets told he’s just a disposable piece”

Sunny was both confused and hurt with his statement, everyone knew Yoongi as the mastermind behind BTS, even some of the producers in the company respected his opinion over their own. As for her work, she knew she would put her 100% on everything related to the group, his words didn’t change that truth in her head.

“I’m sorry my effort isn’t enough for you” she got up picking up her phone from the table “I knew you didn’t care about me but never realized my presence was such a burden to you. And if it counts as something, everyone knows your worth in the group, and they would all drop me if it meant you got to stay with them”

“Stop victimizing yourself” Suga groaned rolling his head back and Sunny snapped, turning around and pointing a finger to him.

“YOU are the one playing the victim here. I’m saying the truth because I know that between the disbandment talk you guys are also considering going back to seven. We live in the same house if you don’t remember, I can hear you talking behind my back”

“I’m older than you, princess” He got up and slapped her finger “Treat me with respect next time you get all worked up. And don’t act like you wouldn’t go solo in a snap of fingers.”

“I wouldn’t, because believe it or not, I’m in this Bangtan shit for life” As soon as she finished speaking, a middle-aged woman walked in talking to her phone, probably unaware of the tension in the room.

Not wanting to catch her attention, and also too pissed off to do anything else, Sunny walked out straight to the lobby, catching Jimin waiting for a car there. He looked over to her and they made eye contact for a few seconds before looking away like they hadn’t seen each other, before parting ways.

She had never felt the end of her family so close as that day.

…

“Can I talk to you?” Yoongi asked sitting in front of her, ironically, on the same table, they were when they had the argument two days prior.

“Sure” She mumbled locking her phone and looking around. The few people around made her feel safe, and Suga knew that, making him feel bad for snapping at her.

“I’m cutting to the chase because I don’t think either of us has the energy to deal with more than we already are,” He said and took a deep breath “I’m sorry for saying those things to you. The producing team had a meeting that day, and they told me I should step back from work for a few days, so I guess I got insecure and was stupid enough to let it out on you. I should not have done that”

“All you said seemed sincere enough for it to be a spur of the moment” Sunny arched an eyebrow “Did you think about that for a long time? Would it make things better for you if I wasn’t on the picture?”

“No, it wouldn’t.” He answered instantly but waited a few seconds to explain himself better “I’m going to be honest, I used to think those things when you first joined us. Not the success part, but the attention going to you when we had worked longer. I don’t think like that anymore, but the whole situation must have dug out those thoughts”

“Oppa, I’m sorry I made you feel like that” She sighed

“We know it has nothing to do with you” He comforted her and they sat in silence for a few minutes. “I think we all need a break”

“Yeah, me too” She mumbled picking up her things so they could go to the meeting together, “Do you think we’ll get over this?”

“I hope so.” Yoongi sighed and they moved to meet the other six members. “We did spoil you too much though?”

“W-why?” Sunny said with wide eyes, ready for him to blow up again.

“We go through a crisis and your instinct is to act like nothing is going on,” He said and started laughing “Talking about carpets and curtains, what were you thinking?”

[medicifm]

*  not  me  actually  writing  an  intro  the  night  before  like  i  always  mean  to  😳  hennyway  hey  biddies  ,  i'm  chloe  ,  im  in  the  snowy  part  of  pst  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pns  .  i’ve  been  . . . . . . .  scouring  the  tags  for  an  rp  like  this  so  im  so  excited  to  bring  this  newish  muse  of  mine  here  !   im  here to  do  the  honours  of  introducing  my  himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside  . . .  oscar  🤡

(  twenty  three , cis  man , he / him  ) ✉ ― hey  babes , have  you  met  OSCAR  MEDICI ?  they’re  working  here  as  THE  HEAD  CHEF  AT  LORENZO’S ,  a  few  villas  down  from  where  you’re  staying  .  you  might  hear  them  singing  ALRIGHTY  APHRODITE  BY  PEACH  PIT  playing  from  their  villa  ,  it’s  their  favourite  song  .  yes  ,  they  hear  that  they  look  like  JACK  GILINSKY  a  lot  ,  actually  -  it’s  really  uncanny  .  their  friends  back  home  in  SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA  say  that  if  they  were  on  a  tv  show  ,  their  trope  would  be  THE  WOLF  IN  SHEEP’S  CLOTHING  ,  how  funny  is  that  ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst

𝐢  .

pinterest  |  wanted  plots  |  

𝐢𝐢  .

name  :  oscar  gabriel  medici

age  :  twenty  three

dob  /  sign  :  december  4th  ,  1997  /  sagittarius  sun  ,  leo  moon  ,  libra  rising 

pob  :  sydney , australia

gender / pronouns  :  cis  man  &  he / him / his

career :  head  chef  at  lorenzo’s  ,  full - time  heathen  ,  professional  disappointment  for  mothers  everywhere  .

drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / more  often  than  he’d  admit / never .  

religion  :  jewish  background  ,  currently  non - practicing .

physical  :  jack  gilinsky  fc ,  dark  brown / black  longish  curls  (  reference  )  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  canon  jack  g’s  tattoos  ,  no  piercings  ,  6′2″  ,  175  lbs  ,  lean  but  strong  .  tattoos  a  la  canon!jack  ,  pearly  white  smile  that  he  may  . . .  or  may  not  . . .   use  crest  3D  white  strips  weekly  to  maintain  .  lots  of  burns  &  scars  from  kitchen  mishaps  on  his  hands  &  arms  .

traits  :  hard - working  ,  flighty  ,  intelligent  ,  hedonistic  ,  charismatic  ,  intense  ,  volatile  ,  

other  :  speaks  weird  french  (  aussie  accent  tings  )  ,  tans  easily  but  wears  sunscreen  nonetheless  ,  works  hard  parties  harder  ,  can’t  read  a  lick  of  french  but  spends  a  lot  of  his  free  time  with  a  coffee  &  a  new  paperback  ,  has  a  bit  of  an  internal  vendetta  against  rich  people  (  for  no  real  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  most  of  them  )  ,  has  ins  with  a  bunch  the  local  farmers  &  visits  them  weekly  ,  pretends  he  isn’t  lowkey  addicted  to  nicotine  administered  via  a  puff  bar  ,  liquor  of  preference  is  tequila  or  red  wine  ,  drives  a  lil  vespa  around  town  for  the  gag  of  it  (  loves  seeing  it  haphazardly  parked  amongst  a  bunch  of  luxury  cars  )  ,  

character  inspo  :  jess  mariano  (  gilmore  girls  )  , gordon  ramsey  🤡 ,  patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .

𝐢𝐢𝐢  .

oscar’s  arrival  was  as  unwanted  to  his  parents  as  could  be  :  a  father  whose  tendencies  leaned  towards  alcoholism  &  abusing  whoever  was  in  arms  reach  ,  a  mother  whose  life  was  more  or  less  spent  at  the  nursing  home  she  worked  as  a  nurse  at  ,  evading  home  .  he  became  a  self - inflicted  loner  ,  preferring  to  do  literally  the  exact  opposite  of  what  was  expected  or  wanted  from  him  .  he  had  a  few  friends  he  ran  with  ,  but  watching  them  all  go  off  &  study  or  prepare  for  university  solidified  in  oscar’s  mind  that  the  non - traditional  route  was  for  him  .  growing  up  by  the  water  ,  oscar  always  felt  more  drawn  to  skip  school  &  head  to  the  beach  than  he  did  obeying  his  parents  wishes  .   

one  of  his  solaces  was  his  grandfather  ,  gabriel  ,  who  owned  an  italian  restaurant  in  a  beach  town  north  of  sydney  .  whenever  the  weather  was bad  &  oscar  felt  like  ditching  class  ,  he’d  head  over  to  his  nono’s  restaurant  where  his  ass  would  be  put  to  work  as  soon  as  he  set  eyes  on  the  restaurant  .  it  was  tough  work  ,  but  challenging  in  a  way  that  fanned  the  flames  in  oscar’s  heart  ,  rather  than  dimming  them  .  by  the  time  he was  a  teenager  he  was  working  in  the  restaurant  everyday  after  school  , an  agreement  between  him  &  his  grandfather  framed  on  the  back  wall  that  stated  that  as  long  as  oscar  kept  from  flunking  out  ,  he  was  allowed  to  spend  as  little  or  as  much  time  in  the  kitchen  as  he  pleased .  

his  absolute  defiance  of  anything  traditional  &  following  the  rules  made  him  unpopular  with  adults  ,  but  lowkey  cool  with  the  girls  .  by  the  time  he  was  sixteen  ,  he  was  losing  his  focus  on  the  restaurant  &  his  grades  &  spending  more  &  more  time  chasing  after  girls  .  his  nono  tried  to  get oscar  to  come  back  &  focus  ,  but  as  always  ,  anything  he’s  asked  to  do  quickly  becomes  the  thing  he’s  running  from  the  most  .

tw  :  death  ,  cancer  .  around  his  eighteenth  birthday  ,  his  grandfather  suddenly  fell  ill  with  a  rare  form  of  cancer  that  took  his  life  six  weeks  after  diagnosis  ,  which  rocked  oscar’s  world  .  he  felt  overwhelming  guilt  that  he  hadn’t  spent  more  time  with  his  grandfather  ,  which  manifested  itself  as  oscar  dropping  out  of  school  a  year  shy  of  graduation  to  commit  himself  fully  to  perfecting  his  grandfather’s  techniques  ,  learning  all  of  his  recipes  (  read  :  pouring  over  dozens  of  handwritten  cookbooks )  in  some  failed  attempt  to  get  back  some  time  with  him  .  oscar  hadn’t  been  close  with  his  parents  in  years  ,  more  or  less  seeing  them  as  wardens  of  a  prison  he  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  .  his  grandfather’s  will  left  him  the  deed  to  the  restaurant  ,  with  an  ask  that  oscar  would  promise  to  act  on  whatever  he  felt  called  towards  ,  rather  than  doing  what  others  expected  of  him  .  to  be  candid  ,  this  whole  situation  crushed  him  .

eventually  ,  he  decided  he’d  had  enough  of  the  stifling  community  he’d  grown  up  in  .  he  sold  the  restaurant  to  one  of  the  regulars  ,  a  wealthy  man  who  he’d  come  to  acknowledge  as  somewhat  of  an  uncle  ;  a  safe  pair  of  hands  who  would  treat  his grandfather’s  legacy  with  as  much  passion  &  respect  as  oscar  himself  would  .  so  he  packed  a  bag  ,  texted  his  mom  that  he  was  going  traveling  ,  &  got  on  a  flight  that  evening  .  he  traveled  all  around  -  first  through  central  america  ,  then  through  europe  ,  throughout  asia  &  africa  ,  &  spent  a  few  months  driving  a  van  across  the  continental  united  states  &  canada  for  fun  . 

eventually  ,  he  started  getting  low - ish  on  money  ,  &  decided  to  settle  in  one  of  his  favourite  places  he’d  visited  :  southern  france  .  he  arrived  in  early  2018  ,  taking  on  whatever  menial  tasks  he  could  while  learning  french  until  he  got  a  position  as  a  line  cook  in  an  italian  restaurant  .  a  few  years  later  ,  he’s  made  his  way  up  to  filling  the  head  chef  position  ,  an  honour  he  takes  with  pride  .  he’s  implemented  many  of  his  own  recipes  while  using  flavours  he’s  learned  from  his  travels  ,  with  ingredients  straight  from  local  farmers  .  he’s  earned  the  restaurant  a  two michelin  star  rating  ,  &  is  constantly  striving  for  more  to  get  that  last  star  (  both  for  his  own  ego  as  well  as  a  secret  debt  to  his  grandfather  )  .

𝐢𝐯  .

ok  but  that  vid  where  gordon  puts  two  pieces  of  bread  on  someone’s  head  &  calls  them  an  idiot  sandwich  ?  that’s  oscar  .  intense  as  fuck  in  the  kitchen  ,  &  best  nobody  catch  an  attitude  about  it  bc  he  will  not  hesitate  to  hand  them  their  ass  on  a  silver  platter  .

another  gordon  reference  :  you  know  how  he’s  the  spawn  of  satan with  adults  ,  but  the  sweetest  ,  most  helpul  guy  with  children  ?  that’s  oscar  with  his  staff  vs  people  he  wants  something  from  .  whether  its  to  sleep  with  them  (  usually  his  first  instinct  to  be  fair  )  ,  their  money  or  clout  ,  or  to  get  into  some  wild  adventure  some  random  resort  staff  wouldn’t  dream  of  getting  into  ,  he  can  turn  on  the  charm  whenever  needed  .

can  go  from  absolutely  demoralizing  someone  in  the  kitchen  to  stepping  out  into  the  lounge  to  schmooze  with  his  friends  or  cougars  who  leave  phat  tips  in  0.2  seconds  .  the  speed  at  which  his  mood  can  completely  180  is  one  of  the  seven  world  wonders  (  last  i  checked  )  .

his  love  language  is  absolutely  acts  of  service  .  catch  him  actually  falling  in  love  once  in  a  blue  moon  &  making  it  his  mission  to  cook  her  extravagant  meals  everyday  .  

the  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing  label  epitomizes  his  nice  ,  helpful  ,  charismatic  exterior  ,  while  ulterior  motives  &  disdain  for  those  who  grew  up  with  more  money  than  he  did  lurk  beneath  the  surface  . 

he  can  be  MEAN  when  someone  fucks  him  over  or  pushes  him  farther  than  he  wants  -  isn’t  afraid  to  go  for  the  low  blows  or  send  someone  home  with  an  identity  crisis  if  it  protects  himself  .

lowkey  alcoholic  but  he’s  not  ready  for  that  conversation  yet  .  he  sees  it  more  as  perks  of  the  location  &  atmosphere  he’s  found  himself  in  .

also  lowkey  falls  in  love  HARD  ,  like  this  man  is  a  closeted  romantic  but  self - sabotages  all  potential  relationships  before  they  can  get  to  that  point  out  of  fear  he’ll  be  unable  to  live  life  of  his  own  volition  (  takes  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  to  know  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  🤡  )  .  has  probably  only  had  a  few  real  relationships  besides  flings  bc  he’s  afraid  .

𝐯  .

check  out  my  wanted  plots  tag  listed  here  ,  as  well  as  my  pinterest  wanted  plots  board  here  .  here   are  some  other  suggestions  hehe  :

best  friend  /  ride  or  die  :  someone  who  knows  about  his  past  ,  keeps  him  grounded  when  he’s  lk  spiraling  &  wants  to  drop  everything  &  flee  to  some  far  flung  corner  of  the  earth  .

actual  relationship  :  it  was  fast - burn  with  deep  feelings  (  not  them  thinking  they’re  soulmates  after  dating  for  a  month  . . .  pete  &  ariana  type  beat  )  but  completely  unrealistic  .  they  have  their  own  life  ,  he’s  pretty  much  tied  to  the  restaurant  ,  not  to  mention  his  lack  of  sharing  anything  about  his  childhood / life  back  home  .  they  loved  &  cared  for  each  other  ,  but  crashed  &  burned  fairly  quickly  because  of  how  idealistic  it  was  .  they  can  either  be  on  bad  or  good  terms  now  .

hateship  with  sexual  tension  😈

summer  flings  !!

fake  boyfriend  :  he  shows  up  on  her  arm  to  her  family’s  events  where  she’s  expected  to  have  a  partner  .  it’s  not  a  real  relationship  ,  but  her  parents  don’t  need  to  know  that  .  he  plays  the  part  &  satisfies  her  parents  beyond  the  bare  minimum  ,  &  in  return  she  invites  him  to  parties  ,  takes  him  out  on  her  family’s  yacht  ,  etc  etc  .  we  luv  some  symbiosis  

i  can  always  use  more  fwbs  hehehe

squad  :  a  group  of  people  who  do  everything  together  ,  have  a  chaotic  group  chat  ,  have  nicknames  for  one  another  ,  are  utd  on  each  other’s  sex  lives  ,  party  all  night  then  show  up  to  brunch  hungover  together  .  

cat  &  mouse  :  someone  he’s  pursuing  who  isn’t  quite  giving  in  ,  &  vice  versa  .  maybe  it’s  been  going  on  a  few  years  ,  everytime  they’re  in  st  tropez  they  have  this  weird  lil  flirtationship  thing  goin  on  until  she  leaves  ,  they  forget  about  one  another  ,  then  pick  it  right  back  up  when  she  returns  .

confidant  :  preferably  someone  from  a  working  class  background  who  understands  his  plight  of  being  a  worker  amongst  people  who  expect  to  be  waited  on  .

enemies  :  they  don’t  like  his  attitude  ,  &  he  doesn’t  like  them  in  return  .  lots  of  eye  rolls  ,  shit  talking  ,  &  tension  between  their  mutual  friends  .

we’re  sleeping  together  but  we  shouldn’t  be  but  that’s  half  the  fun :  for  whatever  reason  they  became  friends  ,  starting  hooking  up  despite  it  not  being  a  good  idea  (  read  :  he’s  exes  with  one  of  her  friends  ,  her  parents  want  her  focused  on  career  ,  they’re  part  of  the  same  friend  group  ,  etc )  . . . but  now  they  can’t  stop  .  lots  of  stolen  glances  across  rooms  ,  squeezing  past  one  another  in  a  crowded  club  just  close  enough  for  a  quick  touch  to  the  back  ,  quietly  leaving  one  another’s  places  the  morning  after  &  playing  dumb  to  anyone  who  asks  . 

[yoonguurt]

The Chaplain’s Son

A/N: This part’s moodboard was made by my lovely child @lilithpooped thank you so much lovely

Joshua woke early, has he did every Sunday, to help his father prepare for his sermon. He had never had any issues with doing this, but he had found himself not wanting to get out of bed. He loved his father and he loved helping, but he recently he had found himself wanting more. He rarely went out, and when he did it was just to the library, and he was starting to get a bit bored. He wanted to have fun instead of just always doing as he was told.

Breath heaving, you weaved your way in between people in the street, hearing the steps of the guards behind you. They yelled for you to stop, which caused you to laugh, they should know by now that that wasn’t going to happen. You never did anything too bad, never stole or anything that could get you in serious trouble, just small pranks. One a week was your minimum, but some weeks you really got in the mood to mess with them. This had been one of those weeks, so far you had hidden under a pile of leaves and scared them , painted on their target dummies, and the most recent of hiding all of the practice weapons. You knew they wouldn't be able to lock you up, but the chase was the best part. 

Joshua watched from the end of the main street as you ran toward him, something in him clicking suddenly. He moved from his seat by the window, made his way down the stairs and outside. He waited for you to round the corner, giving you a brief moment where the guards losing sight of you. As you came into view, head turning around looking for where to go, he took a chance. "Hey! This way!" He saw you give a confused look then walk forward when you could hear the guards get closer. He grabbed your wrist, pulled you into his house, closing the door behind him. 

You stood there chest heaving, feeling a bit awkward at the situation you were in. No one had ever helped you hide from the guards before, but why would they? You knew what you were doing, you’d done this dozens of times, but you accepted the man’s help anyway. You didn’t know him, but you knew of him. His name was Joshua and he was the son of the town’s chaplin, the good kid. You assumed that’s why he helped you, it was in his good nature and he probably had some motive to talk to you and get you to ease up with your pranks. You were inwardly rolled your eyes at the thought of him trying to talk you into being another bore that just sat around and did nothing all day. That wasn’t you. You stayed out late at the bar in town and you made the guards lives hell. That was what you did.

Joshua stood next to the window, you to his left, peaking out to the road where the guards all stood looking confused. He had seen this scenario play out many times before, but the rush he had from hiding from them was something new. He knew they had no reason to knock on his door, but he felt like at any moment the knock would come. It never did and he watched as the group of men outside turned and walked off the way they came. When they were out of sight, he moved around you and opened the door, tipping his head toward the opening and stepped outside after letting you go first. He closed the door behind him, hands immediately going to his pockets and shrugged when you thanked him. “Y/N right?” he watched you give a nod, opening his mouth to speak once more. “Why do you mess with them so much? Have they done something to you or something?”

You saw that he was a bit awkward in his questioning, not looking you in the eye and that coupled with what he was saying made you burst into laughter. “Nah. It’s just fun. It isn’t like I do anything too drastic, just some pranks.” He shuffled his feet, still a bit awkward and you felt the need to help him out a little. “You’re Joshua, yeah?” You saw his face light up a small amount, as he smiled and nodded. “And what do you do for fun?” His smile faded a little, responding that he mostly read and you had to contain your laughter, not wanting to hurt the man’s feelings. You had a surge of wanting to bring him out of his little boring world, but you knew you’d have to start small. Giving him a small smile, asking if he wanted to meet you the next day, to which he eagerly agreed. You nodded and began walking back to your house, calling out a time for him to meet you.

Joshua spent the rest of the night with a grin on his face, making an excuse when his father asked what was going on, he knew that he would not approve of Joshua hanging out with what he called a troublemaker. He didn’t really see it that way, like you said you weren’t hurting anyone, just getting on their nerves. If it were serious enough, Soonyoung or Jeonghan would have already had you arrested. He just figured you were like him, bored, but you were actually doing something about it and he admired that. So, he would meet you and he would let loose for the first time and maybe he could have a new friend.

You woke a little later than you had intended, you had tired yourself out pretty bad the day before. You rushed to get ready, not wanting Joshua to think that you had forgotten about him. That thought gave you pause because never before had you cared what another person thought, but something about Joshua made you want him to like you. You weren’t sure if you liked that thought or not, but you continued to hurriedly dress so you wouldn’t be too late. You didn’t want to think too deeply about why you were so worried about what he thought or wanting to like you, but your mind kept drifting to how awkwardly sweet he had been and you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. You shook those thoughts away quickly. There was no way you could even think about having a crush on the chaplin’s son. There was no way that would ever be allowed and you were certain that he just wanted to convert you into another non pranking rube, but deep down you hoped you were wrong.

Joshua waited at your agreed meeting place, anxiety obvious on his face. He had gotten there a fair bit earlier than needed, his excitement had been too great to wait. The longer he stood, the more he worried you wouldn’t show. Friends weren’t something he had an abundance of, Nari from the library being the only real friend he had. He also couldn’t lie and say that he hadn’t noticed you before, he definitely had and he definitely wanted to talk to you, but something always kept from making that move. Maybe it was worry that you wouldn’t want to talk to someone so boring, maybe it was just nerves, he couldn’t be sure and didn’t really care. He had made the move, and as long as you showed up, he’d finally be getting to see what you were actually like.

You sped around the corner, Joshua in plain sight, and cursed yourself, hoping that he hadn’t been waiting for too long. You eyed his figure, noticing that he was dressed very well and you giggled a bit, knowing he wouldn’t be returning home as clean and well pressed as he left. But you also took in how attractive he was, without even meaning to. His black hair fell over his forehead and slightly into his eyes, which made his eyes pop. His eyes felt like they were staring into your soul, but not in an uncomfortable way. They pierced your being in a way that made you feel cared about even though you barely knew this man. You shook your head, trying to shake away the thoughts. You had a realization that no amount of shaking would help and you were in trouble.

Joshua watched as you approached him slowly, smile prominent on your face.”Hey, church boy. You been here long?” He shook his head almost immediately, not wanting to let you know that he had gotten here more than 10 minutes before the agreed time. He took in your outfit, just a grass stained tee and some ripped jeans and looked down at the slacks he was wearing, considering going inside to change. He jerked his head up when he heard you laugh, a slightly embarrassed look on his face. “I should probably change, huh?” His words were spoken with a breathy laugh and a small smile, which grew when you laughed with him and told him to grab clothes his dad would never want him to wear in public. He had to try not to turn and run into his house, he was ready to get this outing started, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t jumping at the chance to wear jeans.

You stood there waiting for all of five minutes before Joshua came back outside. He didn’t take as long as you thought he would, you honestly weren’t sure if he even had any clothes that weren’t some form of slacks and a button up shirt. Turning to look at the door, you saw a very different version of the town gentleman than you were used to. The button up had been replaced with a plain white tee that was a tad bit baggy, jeans had taken the place of his slacks and they were cuffed at the ankles. Black and white sneakers had replaced his plain black loafers. You had to try hard to keep your mouth from falling open, opting to raise an eyebrow and give a smirk instead. “Not bad. Not bad. I wasn’t sure you owned anything like this. You proved me wrong.” You watched him as he gave a hearty laugh, the sound like music. Oh yes. You were definitely in trouble.

Joshua wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it wasn’t what was happening. You had brought him to the woods surrounding the practice field, large bag already waiting for you by a tree, and the two of you were just waiting for the guards to be finished. You had told him your plan, another harmless prank of making a smiley face out of forks in the ground, and while he wasn’t sure why that was something you would want to do, he was down to do it with you. When everyone went inside, he watched as you gathered your hair into a ponytail, thinking about how much he liked the small tendrils of hair that fell and framed your face. “Ok. If someone comes, you drop whatever you’re doing and run. They won’t do much other than a scolding, but the chase is the best part.” He nodded at your words and followed you to get things started.

You set about your task, turning to Joshua every now and then to make sure he hadn’t bolted yet. Every time you looked, his smile had gotten bigger and you were glad that he at least seemed to be having fun. You had done this before, but the repeat of a prank wasn’t something you were worried about at this point. You were lost in thoughts when you heard a door open and a small group of guards come back onto the field. Dropping everything in your hands, you reached for Joshua’s arm, gave it a tug and took off running. “Come on. I know a place.”

Joshua was out of breath almost immediately. Running wasn’t something he did often, but the drive to keep up with you was greater than his want to stop running. He looked down at your hand his wrapped around his wrist and pushed himself to run faster. The two of you weaved through trees and bushes, the sound of footsteps dying down behind you. He guessed you really did know how to lose the guards, considering the distance between your steps and theirs. His lungs were burning, but that didn’t matter, he was having the best time of his life.

“You’re gonna want to slide under this branch, trust me.” You hoped the man had heard you as you let go of his hand quickly to slide yourself. Your jeans had a giant mud streak, but that was nothing new. You turned to watch Joshua slide just in time, smile still on his face. Laughing loudly, you reached for his wrist again, changing your mind at the last second and interlocking your hand with his. The threat was over by now, but you could see how much fun Joshua was having so you kept it up for a little longer. You finally came to a  stop in a small clearing, hand still in Joshua’s you both fell to the ground.

Joshua laid beside you, heart hammering in his chest due to both the running and the fact that your hand was still in his. He had wanted to have fun, and he had definitely gotten his wish. He wanted to do this more, but he also just wanted to stay there with you forever. He turned his head, planning to ask if you two could hang out again, but the words got caught in his throat. You were laying there, trying desperately to catch your breath, hair a mess from all the running, but you still looking like pure heaven. He knew that he was going to fall for you, and fast, but he was welcoming it.

The two of you walked back to Joshua’s house, talking about your adventure. You could hear the excitement in Joshua’s voice. He had a wide smile and he kept replaying the chase with laughter. “I’ve never done anything like that in my life. Did you see that slide? I didn’t think I was gonna pull that off.” His laugh was louder than you had heard it before and he was starting to talk faster and more animated. Looking down, you realized your hands were still intertwined, and you gave his a small squeeze, causing his eyes to meet yours. “Calm down there, church boy. That was just the first adventure. You’ve still got a lot to learn.” There was a teasing tone to your voice, which you hoped Joshua caught on to. His laugh told you that he had gotten the memo and he gave your hand a squeeze back. “Same time tomorrow?” His eyes started into that comfort part of your soul again, and you gave him and excited nod before parting ways.

Joshua hadn’t expected his father to be home yet, he usually stayed the church a little longer trying to get his planning done. His father eyed his outfit, disapproval plain on his face. “Why are you so muddy? I thought you would come and help me tidy up today.” Joshua knew he should probably lie and say he had done anything else, but he didn’t want to treat your adventures like some sort of secret. “I was out with Y/N today. I slipped in some mud and that explains the stain.” He held his head high, knowing there would be comment from his father on his choice of friend. The only thing he got was a sigh as his father turned to head to his study. Joshua made sure to let him know that he would be with you the next day too.

You had been hanging out with Joshua every day for a week and it was the best time you had ever had. Sometimes you played pranks, sometimes you just went to the clearing and talked. Even if you were doing nothing, you were always content. The silence was never awkward, and you were starting to see Joshua come out of his shell. He started teasing you, giving you sarcastic comebacks to your teasing, you had even seen him take part in your sarcastic humor. You were scheduled to hang out with him again and you had a massive surprise for him.

“You want me to dye my hair? You want me to dye my hair blue of all colors?” Joshua knew that the surprise was evident on his face. This was not what he expected when you said you had a surprise for him. This was not what he expected at all. You had told him to meet you at your place, and he figured that was because there was some prank that you had to get ready there. You calling him a chicken brought him out of his thoughts. He wasn’t a chicken and he was going to prove it. “Do it.”

After what felt like hours, Joshua’s hair was finished and it was not what you thought it was going to be. You had thought he would look silly, and he did not, he looked amazing. Blue managed to fit him as well as his black hair did and you were shocked. The shock must have been evident on your face because he made a comment about it. “Close your mouth, sweet heart, you’re drooling.” There was the teasing that he had so quickly gotten comfortable with, but it didn’t stop you from doing as he said. Your mouth had been wide open, and you were sure your rather large crush was obvious. 

Joshua left your house in a good mood. He was sure that you felt the same way he did, he even left a kiss on your cheek, he was on cloud nine. He walked into his house with a smile, mood great, only to have it all crash down on top of him. His father was home early again, Joshua thought nothing of it and greeted him as usual, only to hear an intake of air in response. That was when he remembered that he had blue hair. He knew he was in for it now. “What have you done to your hair? No. What has that girl done to your hair?” His father spat ‘that girl’ out of his mouth like the words were poison and that hit Joshua in the wrong way. “I don’t want you to see that girl anymore.” 

You were getting ready for bed when the knock on the door came. You moved towards the door, very confused as to who would be knocking on your door. You slowly cracked the door, peeking through the crack to see Joshua standing outside, small bag in hand. Your eyes widened, immediately thinking something was wrong and you flung the door open, letting him in and asking what was wrong. He explained that his father had not liked his hair, and had told him that he didn’t want Joshua to see you anymore and that he had refused. Your mind flew into a panic, you didn’t want to be the source of a fight between Joshua and his father. He chuckled at the obvious panic on your face. “No worries, sweet heart. It isn’t like we aren’t talking anymore. We both decided that it would be better if I moved out. I just wanted to ask if I could stay here while I find a place.” You immediately let you a sigh of relief, knowing that you hadn’t caused a disowning was load of your mind. You let him know he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted, and he hugged you and planted a kiss on your cheek.

Joshua pulled back from the hug, but he couldn’t make himself let you go. He looked down at you briefly, eyes searching yours before he leaned in again, lips meeting yours. He let himself sink into the kiss and he felt you do the same as you wrapped your arms around his waist. He pulled back again, forehead pressed up against yours for a moment before you both turned to get ready for bed. As you both crawled into bed, Joshua held his arms out for you to plant yourself in between them. He felt you snuggle up to his chest before you jerked your head back to look up at him. “How do you like your eggs? I’m thinking of making some for breakfast.” He gave a loud laugh, which caused you to swat his arm. He pressed his lips to your forehead and mumbled against your skin. “Scrambled.”

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[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

I don’t trust myself when I’m around you.

FF.Net & AO3

-

Daphne can’t seem to stop biting her lip.

Barely even registering the sting until Freddie so kindly points out that her lip is bleeding; she manages to brush this off as being caused by the damn avalanche she survived just a few days ago.

She is currently lounging on the couch in the living room of the house the four of them share, the aforementioned blond sitting beside her.

He’s been spending the past couple of days since they arrived home trying to track down the love of his life, whom he was forced to part with in a garage sale. Daph didn’t see much point in reminding him that they had a perfectly fine stick shift sitting in their garage right now. The whole clutch/emergency brake fiasco has left him bitter.

Velma had only emerged from the home office maybe twice all day - both of those times being Shaggy forcing her to eat something before the wind blew her away.

Shag and Scoob had been known to just set up shop in the kitchen for most of the day. Saved a lot of back and forth from their bedroom to the fridge. Scooby had already somehow opened the door and was dragging out any leftover that was in sight. 

Shag, on the other hand, was sitting at the kitchen table staring down at his hands.

Which was enough to tell Daph that his mind was racing.

All of this business with Vincent had dredged up bad memories for the both of them. The second Daphne laid her head down on her own pillow her mind was instantly plagued with the thought, “The 13th Ghost is still out there...”

And at that point Daph had abandoned the idea of sleep.

She can’t speak for Shag but she’s certain she’s seen the kitchen light on until the wee hours of the morning.

But this isn’t the thing that affects Daphne the most; she’d spent almost nine years thinking about that 13th ghost they never found. The thing that bothered Daphne was the feelings she had buried for nearly a decade.

-

She was in the dark, falling yet floating at the same time, never reaching the ground.

Someone was calling her name and she could hear the urgency in their voice, the worry. 

Something rough and wet ran up her cheek and she was immediately back in the light, taking in a deep gulp of air. That worried voice calling her name let out a relived chuckle and placed a large hand on her shoulder, helping her sit up.

That was the first time Daphne had ever seen Shaggy cry on her behalf.

Not even turning into a werewolf and chasing him down the tunnels brought tears to his eyes.

She hadn’t forgotten any of it. Every little detail about that moment was imprinted in her mind and it was all telling her one thing. 

‘He cares for you.’

‘You care for him.’

And the second that realization came to her, Daphne pushed it back to the furthest corner of her mind - praying that she’d forget all about it.

She wasn’t very good at doing that.

It didn’t take her all but a few hours to have her fingers tangled up in his hair while hoping that no canines or con-children or warlocks barged in on them. 

For those few, blissful, months Daphne was absolutely giddy.

Every waking moment was spent with the boy she now knows she also cares about a great deal. Due to the constant entourage, physical contact was kept at a minimum; but even without the touching Daphne’s heart was full. Every time they did so much as hold eye contact for longer than five seconds she felt like her chest was about to burst.

‘What is this?’

She’d ask herself, already knowing damn well what it was.

But then the stress started to press down on them, and they found themselves being overwhelmed by the nightmares. No amount of embracing or kissing could calm it down. 

They practically got down on their knees and begged Vincent to just let it be over, they were just kids and they couldn’t take it anymore.

Perhaps he saw how broken they had become, already fragile to begin with.

But when they returned to Coolsville, Daphne didn’t get the happy boyfriend and girlfriend lifestyle she had been dreaming of since she first kissed him.

Instead, he locked himself up in his room and didn’t seem interested in talking. 

Not to her.

Not to his family.

Not even to Scooby.

Fred and Velma didn’t return from their camps for another several weeks.

Still, Daph kept calling, nearly everyday. His family had gotten well acquainted with her over the phone, always having to softly tell her that Shaggy wasn’t up to leaving his bed at the moment.

Which was every moment.

Of every day.

During this time boys would ask her out on dates, and while most of her wanted to say no, her prime reason for saying no wasn’t speaking to her.

So she spent her summer bowling and roller skating and eating Italian food, only to return home late at night and cry when the boy she wanted still wouldn’t come to the phone.

It was two weeks until summer came to a close when Shag’s mom said, “Oh yes he’s right here.... Norville! Daphne Blake’s on the line!”

“....Hi...”

The moment she heard his voice her heart nearly popped out of her chest.

“Shags!!! Oh my gosh I’ve been so worried about you!!”

She hears a soft chuckle and the corners of her lips go straight up; that chuckle outshines any date she went on in the past two months.

“Like, I’ve just been strapped to my bed at the ol’ Rogers’ Kook House.”

“Do - do you uh..... Do you wanna go get some burgers? Last week Ricky McMasters took me to this new little joint that make these cool veggie burgers.”

“Are you for real?”

“100% sweetheart.”

The excitement in his voice is causing her face and ears to go warm.

“Sign me the hell up!”

And so they met at the restaurant and ordered, they talked and laughed and Daphne found herself hardly touching her food.

It was when she made a grab for his hand that things finally went wrong.

He dodged, locking eyes with her as his cheeks went red

“Shag.. wha- what’s wrong?”

She schooches her chair closer.

He moves his further back.

And then he looks down at his hands on the table.

It’s silent for a few moments and Daph realizes she’s absolutely terrified.

Mainly because she knows what’s about to happen.

After he sucks in a deep breath he begins, still looking down at the table, “”Daph... those months we spent... together were some of the best months of my life.” Daphne smiles.

“Same here.”

He licks his lips before continuing, “And, during all of that I was convinced I was ready. Ready to stop holding my breath and just love you.”

Her heartbeat drops to her stomach. How long was he in love with her? How long was she in love with him?

Shag’s fingers begin to clench around the tablecloth, “Vincent was promising us that he’d take care of the last ghost and all I could think was that I got a whole summer left to be with you.” She wants to say ‘Me too.” But doesn’t wanna interrupt him.

“But then,” His voice is going soft  and she can tell he’s trying to be gentle, “When we did finally get home the nightmares didn’t stop. The fear that something was out there and after me - after you - didn’t go away.”

Finally, he brings his gaze up to her and those brown eyes leave her so weak, “How could I deal with all of this, cope with and get it under control and love you at the same time? I’m seventeen for fucks sake. I still brake at a yellow light and get an allowance.”

Suddenly, she get’s it.

All those dates and all that crying had been her “coping” of sorts but had she really gotten anywhere waiting day after day for Shag to pick up the phone?

He can probably see the tears welling in her eyes because he leans forward to whisper, “Just.... give me some time. Could be a week could be a month, hell, it could be a year but maybe when I’m ready... we can try this again. Without ending up as each other’s therapy dogs.”

She giggles and feels a tear roll down her cheek, “Yeah, “ she sniffles, “I’d like that.”

-

Now she was leaning over him as he tapped his fingers against the hard wood of the table.

“Having fun?” She says softly, he looks up at her with a smirk.

“Just peachy Miss Blake.”

“Well I am just glad to hear that.” She pulls out a chair and chuckles as their banter picks up an exaggerated Southern drawl.

They sit there for what seems like forever just giggling and looking at each other before Daph musters up the bravery to break the quiet, “Nine years huh?”

And even though it is the most cryptic and simple phrase, Shag’s face goes beet red and she know he understands what she’s saying. Because only Shaggy Rogers could understand something as basic as two words implying so much more. It’s then that Daphne knows shoving those feelings down to the back of her mind hadn’t stopped a thing.

If anything, they’ve grown, matured and are much more powerful.

Maybe sixteen year old her had wanted to only wait a week but now she was thankful to have grown into this love she holds for him

Now she wonders if he’d let her kiss him, and would she ever bother to come up for air? 

Or would she just let herself suffocate, only able to comprehend the shape of him?

He rubs the back of his neck, acutely aware of her biting her lip, “It’s funny... like before all this craziness with Farmer Morgan I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go to that same burger place again. Like, they’ve got a whole menu of veggie burgers now.  I hear they have one that’s just a stuffed mushroom! Doesn’t that sound fucking extraordinary?!”

As his eyes begin to sparkle and his lips flap, blabbing on about food, Daphne reaches up and grabs either side of his face, bringing them nose to nose.

He lets out a soft gasp, Daph’s heartbeat is pounding around in her head, “If I say yes, will you finally kiss me?”

His face is red again and she is 100% sure her’s is even worse.

“Keep in mind I will say yes regardless of what you-”

Shaggy doesn’t even let her finish the sentence, only letting give out a soft “Mmph!” in surprise.

Nine years in the making and Daphne can definitely say it was worth the wait. 

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

[finnspiration-blog1]

this is your friendly neighborhood drug dealer waiter, finnegan sevea but don’t call him finnegan he hates it a lot. more about him under the cut !! donut be afraid to come talk to me about plots and whatnot. i hope everyone had a great weekend !!

For the majority of his life, Finn’s mother was all he had. His parents were young and had only been dating for three months when his mother got pregnant. It put a damper on their relationship, certainly, but his father stayed throughout the duration of the pregnancy. It was only after Finn was born that his father up and left, overwhelmed and unready for parenthood. That left Finn’s mother alone with an infant son. Her minimum wage job could barely scrape out food for herself, let alone a baby, but she learned to make do with what she had. Finn learned these same lessons as he grew older, doing whatever he could to help his mother. The two of them were in and out of homeless shelters for much of Finn’s early childhood, moving from city to city around the country so that his mother could chase whatever dead-end job was next in line.

When he was seven, Finn’s mom found a job as a cafeteria worker at his elementary school, which afforded her enough benefits that she and Finn could stay in one spot. When his peers made the connection between Finn and the lunch lady, kids started to tease him about it. It bothered him, a little, but he didn’t complain. They still lived paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes skipped meals out of necessity, but they had each other, and for the most part, they were happy.

When he got a little older and was more able to take care of himself, Finn’s mom picked up a second job that had her working nights, and the older Finn got, the less supervision he had. He partied, he smoked, he drank. He slept with people and then forgot their names. During his freshman year of high school, he started selling pot to support his habits and to help get food on the table for he and his mom. She didn’t ever really question where the money was coming from, but Finn never admitted to it either. The last thing he wanted was to be a disappointment to one of the only people he really and truly cared about.

Finn wasn’t necessarily a bad kid in high school, he just had a reputation for goofing off and not taking anything seriously. School bored him, and he always thought that there were better things to be doing than homework. Mr. Harrison actually had quite an effect on Finn, however. Because Finn’s mom worked for the school system, Mr. Harrison knew who Finn was, and knew their situation. He was the first teacher that ever really took an interest in Finn and made an effort to help him succeed. Finn gives Mr. Harrison all the credit for his ability to graduate on time.

Just a few weeks before Finn’s eighteenth birthday, it was a freak accident that changed everything. In a severe case of wrong-place, wrong-time, his mother was walking home from work when a drunk driver swerved onto the sidewalk. She died on impact. Finn was devastated by her death, and became extremely withdrawn, and nearly unrecognizable to those who knew him well. And though he was nearly of legal age, they still contacted the father’s name that was printed on his birth certificate. Since he’d left, Finn’s father had become an outrageously successful entrepreneur, but had made no effort to reconnect with his son. Neither Finn nor his father were particularly happy about the situation. His father handed him a credit card, believing that allowing Finn access to his limitless funds would do one of two things - somehow make up for everything that he’d missed, or get Finn out of his hair. Finn was more than happy to do the latter.

Now that money was no longer a concern, Finn began living large. He bought himself a nice apartment in the city, and enrolled in the local university, figuring that his mother had always wanted him to go to college. He started out with good intentions - that’s always the way, isn’t it? However, after a few heartless phone calls with his uncaring father, the anger and resentment that Finn had felt towards his father came out in spades. He’d tossed Finn aside like he didn’t matter, and Finn was determined to make him regret it. It started out by purchasing an expensive car, but turned into him wasting his father’s hard-earned money on booze and drugs and outrageously expensive clothes that he has absolutely no use for. He stayed in school, but he spent more time double fisting beer than opening a book, just barely managing to stay afloat in his classes. He was known around campus for throwing insane parties at his apartment, and for what felt like the first time in a long time, people wanted him. He liked the attention, liked the feeling of being wanted. He didn’t care that most people only liked his money or his good looks, they wanted him for something and that was enough.

 Recently, however, Finn’s father has decided to step in. The excessive spending wasn’t exactly hurting him, but he wasn’t going to let Finn leech off him forever. He gave the boy a choice - pull his grades up, intern at one of his companies, find a job, or be cut off. As of right now, he doesn’t really know what he’s going to do yet, only that he has no interest in returning to school. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life, only that he has to figure it out fast. As for his personality, Finn is very laidback. He’s down to for anything as long as he’s having fun. He has a stupid sense of humor, but he loves to laugh and doesn’t like to take anything too seriously - enough has happened in his life that worrying about the small things isn’t really his style. He can come across as a bit of an asshole to people who don’t know him that well, but to his friends, he’s fiercely loyal, and takes his friendships seriously (though the same can’t be said for his romantic relationships whoops). He just wants to enjoy life and have fun and not worry because feelings aren’t fun to him.

Right now he’s working as a waiter but still sells pot for a little supplemental income.

[ourlastbastion]

Wild Fire Ch. 19

AO3

FFNet

To say that things hadn’t been going according to what anyone had wanted was a major understatement.

Maleko was gone, that in itself was bad. No one had been able to find him, not even using soul perception. The boy had figured out how to use Soul Protect during his time at the academy, or maybe he already knew how and never used it until this point. There was no use wondering when he figured out how to use it, not when he was already gone without a trace.

They’d almost found him, almost caught him. Kim and Jackie had crossed paths with Maleko during their mission. They’d killed the kishin egg and found the child protecting a woman from it—he’d been really hurt, from what Kim had said, but he refused her attempts to help and fled from her. She’d chased him halfway through the city before losing track of the child once more, which she blamed to have been due to a citizen interfering. He had misread the situation, from the reports that had come in, and thought that Kim was a rather young child abductor.

While Maka commended the man on trying to stop what he had thought was an attempted kidnapping, she couldn’t help but loathe him at the same time. They’d been so close to getting Maleko back, and then he slipped through their fingers.

He was a sorcerer, the sworn enemy of the DWMA and all that it stood for, an enemy to humanity. But, Maka couldn’t hate him. No, she wanted the academy to catch him because she was scared for him. The boy was just that; a boy. A kid. One who couldn’t read, could barely form sensible sentences, who understood the bare minimum of how to live in society. He’d be eaten up alive. He’d wander into a street and get run over. Follow the wrong person, find himself hurt, or end up killing someone because he was scared.

Maleko wasn’t a bad person, Maka knew that he wasn’t, she understood that he wasn’t. He acted based on fight or flight reasoning, if he was scared, if he felt threatened, he was going to fight. He may just be a kid, but he wasn’t weak; he had magic on his side and a normal human, no matter how tough they may think they were, would get killed.

If Maleko started hurting people, he was going to end up on Death’s execution list. His age didn’t matter, Lord Death had sent BlackStar and Tsubaki out to hunt Angela, and she was a kid, too. It didn’t matter what anyone might want or say, if Maleko became a threat, he’d be placed on the list.

It was hard.

It was hard for Maka to hate him, to justify him being hunted. Any other witch, any other sorcerer, and she wouldn’t see an issue.

But, she knew Maleko. Not in the same way she had known Medusa. No, she knew that Maleko was a kind kid, that he was sweet, he didn’t want to hurt people, he didn’t want to cause problems out of some malicious intent. No, he was just a child who wanted to play with his friends and have fun, like any other child.

And Maka had considered him a friend. She and Soul both had.

How could anyone be expected to hunt down someone they played with, someone they befriended? He’d basically become a part of the family.

He was nothing like a sorcerer was supposed to be. Not some horrible monster bent on destroying everything. He was as sweet as any kid. He hadn’t really done anything to become an enemy, other than just being born.

Maka hated this conflicted feeling more than anything. On one hand, his very race was an enemy to humanity, a threat to everyone; when Maleko grew up he’d likely be like his peers, killing and destroying all he sees. But, even if that was true, Maka couldn’t see him as anything but the kind and sweet boy that she had spent time with. He’d never have hurt a fly, well, he probably would, but not out of some malicious want. And, Maleko hadn’t even run away from the school because he hated them—she hoped that wasn’t the case. Rather, because he was scared.

Maleko just wanted to find his mother, more than anything he wanted to be with his mother again. And though it pained her to say it, Maka could understand how he felt, wanting so badly to be able to see and touch someone you loved so dearly. No, she couldn’t understand how he felt, not completely, at least Maka still got postcards from her mother so she knew what she was up to, where she had been, that she knew her mother was still alive. Maleko had nothing, only knew that the people he trusted intended to kill his.

That was a betrayal that would cut deeper than any knife.

It only made Maka feel worse in the end, too, made her wonder constantly if she could have done something, anything, that could have kept him here. Here where he would be safe, here where she could have maybe explained why they had to catch his mother, how his mother was doing bad things. Could she even explain it if she had the chance? Was there really any justification for murdering someone’s mother?

Maka wanted to scream, she wanted to hit something, but she did neither. Her entire life she had believed in a few simple laws, she hadn’t realized how black and white she had viewed the world until Maleko turned everything grey. Her very perception was unraveling and she didn’t know what to do. What if there were others like him, witches and sorcerers who had done nothing wrong but just be born, yet were still hunted and killed all the same? How could that ever be right? How could someone be considered good in that case?

Closing her eyes, Maka sank down into a crouch, her back against the wall of the empty hall, her head buried into her crossed arms.

That wasn’t the worst of it too, that wasn’t the only part that had made her start questioning and doubting, though Maleko was a big impact on her, and likely a few others as well. He wasn’t the only one.

There were clips, videos circulating about. Clearly cut off from a larger one, probably purposely planted while the full video was kept private. A speech by Kai Palakiko herself addressing her followers. Maka had little love for the woman, she may be Maleko’s mother, she may be the most important person to him, but that didn’t change the fact that she had murdered so many people.

But, the things she had said, it had struck a chord with Maka, her voice echoed in her mind and wouldn’t leave her be.

Children. Maka was only fifteen, but she hardly saw herself as a child—when was the last time she even considered herself one? But, she still was just a kid, as were her friends, her classmates, they were still children. Some of the newer students were only twelve, others were nearing eighteen, legally none of them were adults, morally they were all still kids.

And yet… they were fighting wars on behalf of Lord Death. They were hunting down the worst of the worst, risking their lives to protect others, to protect the world. Maka saw no shame in that, saw nothing wrong with protecting others and in doing her part to keep the world safe. Yet at the same time…

Just how much of her childhood had she sacrificed to become a meister?

She respected Lord Death, admired him greatly, he was a great leader, the best their world could have asked for, and she would never question his judgment, not openly of course. But at the same time, the things that Kai had pointed out, Maka had never realized just how true it was. They were children fighting an adult's war.

She recalled BlackStar and Tsubaki talking about their mission with Mifune and Angela, how her friends had spared both in the end. Would anyone else have done the same if given the chance? If killing those two would have given someone the chance to become a Death Scythe right there and then, would they say no and let a child live? Maka wanted to say that they would but she didn’t know.

And then there was themselves. Were they being groomed, intentionally or not, to be soldiers? If Maka sat down and think about it—and she had done quite a bit of that since seeing the clips—they were by definition child soldiers for Lord Death.  The DWMA was a type of military organization, they were being taught and trained to fight and kill.

If any other group were to do what the DWMA was doing, if a country decided to create an academy to train children to fight while sending them on combative missions regularly, it would be considered a war crime. Yet no one blinked at the DWMA doing the very same thing.

Maka didn’t want to doubt the school, didn’t want to doubt Lord Death or any of this, being a meister, being the greatest mesiter and to make the strongest Death Scythe had been her dream for as long as she could remember. But, now everything was unraveling and nothing seemed right. It made her feel like she couldn’t trust her own judgment, it made her doubt what Lord Death, what the teachers, what her father might say.

Why couldn’t things go back to being simple? Why couldn’t everything just… just…

“Maka?” the question was soft, so soft that Maka had almost missed it, but even drowning in her own thoughts she had managed to catch the soft, trembling whisper and snap her head to attention.

Standing before her was Crona, hunched over and fiddling their fingers nervously. They looked concerned for her, but unsure how to address it or approach her on it. Beside them was Soul, much more relaxed, though his face gave away how he felt with the glint of worry in his eyes. They waited quietly for Maka to speak, both watching her carefully.

She offered them a smile, though a little strained. “Hey guys,” she said. “Is something going on?”

Her two closest friends just glanced at one another. Then Soul bent forward, holding a hand out to Maka. She took it and he pulled her to her feet with such ease that she may as well have weighed nothing to him.

“Stein says that they may be able to locate where Kai has been hiding soon,” he began when he let go of her hand, letting Maka dust the dirt and dust off the back of her skirt. “As soon as they can make certain where she’s hiding, Lord Death plans to strike, getting rid of her once and for all.”

“Oh? That’s good, we can finally put an end to this.” That was good news, really good news. Maka wanted to feel happy about that, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel even the tiniest bit glad. Maleko flashed through her mind, he’d be alone, an orphan once Kai was gone, he’d never be able to trust anyone from the DWMA again, and he’d have no one left.

It must have shown in her voice, or maybe on her face because Crona and Soul glanced at each other once more like they were talking to each other with their eyes alone so that Maka wouldn’t understand it.

“They, um, Professor Stein said that they’ll need all the strength they c-can. So, students are signing up to join the attack,” Crona spoke up, averting their eyes to the floor. “We thought we should let you know. In case you want to go.”

She wondered how many students were going to sign up, and how many would back off, too confused and conflicted by what Kai had said. This would undoubtedly be a terrible battle, there was going to be a lot of casualties. No one would say it out loud, but a lot of them were bound to die in this fight, people on both sides.

And they’d be killing a lot of people, humans. Sure Kai may have a few witches or sorcerers in her ranks, but apparently, the vast majority of her followers were humans. Average, normal humans, ones who weren’t on Lord Deaths list, ones who weren’t kishin eggs, with souls still glowing a pure blue. A lot of them would be killed, even if they were given orders to capture and not kill, there was still going to be a lot of blood spilled.

Maka wouldn’t have considered it before, wouldn’t have given it much thought, she’d be going into battle to rid the world of evil people to make it a safer place, she’d be doing Lord Death’s bidding, and that was a good thing, an honor even.

But why didn’t it feel like such an honor anymore?

“Alright, thanks for letting me know,” she said, trying to sound pump, grinning and twirling on her feet so her back was to them while she started walking to where missions were posted. She didn’t want them to worry that something might be wrong, she was still the same old Maka! “Come on, let’s go sign up, then! This is a good opportunity, and we already know the others got their names on the list!” Maybe she’d be able to find Maleko out there, she might be able to at least keep him from dying a pointless death.

---

Maleko never felt quite so small as he sat on the couch, head hung low and hands clasped together. Sitting across from him was Robert, having dragged the sofa-chair over so that it faced Maleko perfectly. The man said nothing, just watching Maleko carefully in silence, his laptop still open, the screen frozen on a closeup of Kai. It took all of Maleko’s willpower to keep from looking over at it.

It’d been so long since he’d seen her face, heard her voice. When he heard her talking, he’d been so happy, so excited that he hadn’t thought it through darting down the stairs and crying out to her. Knowing that it had only been a video, his heart felt broken.

Mickey and Maggie were watching them, he knew they were watching him while they pretending to bustle about in the kitchen, reorganizing clean dishes in their shelves, or wiping down spotless counters to look like they were occupied. But, they were watching and listening, had done been doing so ever since Robert shooed them away so he could have a ‘private talk’ with Maleko.

His fingers were trembling and Maleko’s eyes kept glancing back and forth on the floor, too afraid to look up. He could run, he could set fire to it all and run away. But, he didn’t want to hurt them; they had been nice to him, kind to him. The DWMA had been nice and kind as well, his mind supplied, but then look how that turned out.

Maleko swallowed, gripping his wrist tightly, trying to keep his entire body from shaking.

“So,” Robert began loudly, causing Maleko to flinch and try to sink deeper into the couch, to no avail. He still refused to look up at the man as he spoke, keeping his head hung low. “I’m going to take a guess and say that your real name isn’t Asahi, now is it?”

He said nothing, kept his head down and bit his lip as his hands trembled. His instinct was to set loose fire and flee, every part of his body said to flee and it took all his strength to stay seated. He couldn’t keep the whimper from escaping, though.

Robert watched patiently, leaning forward as he rested his chin on his folded hands. “I had that suspicion when I came home to find you integrated into my home. That girl certainly hadn’t been calling you Asahi when we met on the streets,” he pointed out, causing Maleko to flinch again.

Maleko knew what was going to happen. Robert was going to know who he was and he was going to send him back to the academy, back to the DWMA where he would lose any chance at all of finding his mother, he’d be locked up, this time in a better cell that wouldn’t give him a chance to flee.  He’d be trapped, like the princesses in those storybooks, except he didn’t have a knight or prince who’d come and save him, he had no one but his mother.

Swallowing hard, he fought back tears, his shoulders were starting to shake.

If Robert noticed, or even cared, he made no sign of it. “Your name is Maleko, isn’t it? Maleko Palakiko?”

Finally, Maleko raised his head just enough to look at Robert. Was there any point in denying it when the man looked so certain? “Better to come out with the truth, little sun,” Taka’s voice echoing in his mind was the only comfort Maleko could find in this situation. He knew the bird was near, but he also knew that there was little Taka could do to help him.

So, he heeded the advice. Maleko looked at Robert and gave a timid nod. “Yeh—yes,” he murmured, barely more than a whisper.

With that, he prepared for the worst. For Robert to start yelling, for Maggie to call the police, or someone at the school, even for Kim and Jackie to burst through the door and grab him. He was ready for what little happiness and comfort he had found with this family to be torn away and for them to turn bad, mean, to turn cruel. At least if they were like that, if they turned into bad people, he wouldn’t feel bad if he hurt them trying to escape.

Something clattered to the ground in the kitchen, he heard Maggie and Mickey talking in hushed whispers, using words that he couldn’t understand, words that were too big and too complicated. Robert's gaze left Maleko for only a brief moment to look behind him to the kitchen, giving an obvious eye roll at whatever his wife and son had done before letting his attention flitter back over to Maleko.

No one started yelling yet, no one seemed angry. At least, not in any way that Maleko could recognize. Still, Maleko felt on edge, waiting for the shoe to drop.

And it did drop a few moments later. Just not in the way that Maleko had been anticipating. Instead of screaming, panic, or even rage, what happened was that Robert started laughing. Loud, boisterous, honest laughter. He leaned back in his chair, hands on his stomach as he laughed as if this had been the funniest thing in the world to him. Maleko couldn’t understand it.

Eventually, the laughter came to an end, and Robert had calmed down. There was a strange twinkle in his eye as he leaned forward, smiling at Maleko as if the boy had been the most interesting thing in the world.

“Well, in that case, that settles it,” Robert declared with a nod to himself.

Maggie took a step from the kitchen, hands held to her chest. “Honey?” she asked carefully.

It seemed not even her or Mickey understood what Robert was getting at right now, which made Maleko feel a little bit better about being so confused. Robert was already pulling his laptop back to his side, opening a new tab and typing something into it without even waiting.

“I had thought there little point in any of us going, it’s not as if we can offer much combative help in the end,” he said, glancing at Maggie and then back to his computer. “But if we have Maleko with us, we need to head up and join with the rest.”

What was he even talking about? Maleko glanced back at Maggie and Mickey, searching for the answers that they didn’t have. He swallowed, looked back to Robert with a confused whimper in his throat.

But when Robert looked at him, he had a smile on his face. “Well, Maleko. How about we get you back to your mother?”