#because at this rate I'll never afford shit in Melbourne

[prettyflyshyguy]

Over the next few days as I try to enjoy myself as much as possible, and rid myself of the anguish and horror of my twenties via hard-partying (going to the zoo, making my direct family experience an escape room with me, drinking as many milkshakes as I can physically cope with) - I feel its worth reflecting on some things from the last decade.

-I really didn't know what I was doing when I existed uni, and I still don't know what I'm doing HOWEVER -- I have a much clearer idea of what I'm good at, and what makes me happy.

-I've won multiple awards for miniature painting. Coming from a kid who dreamed of one day owning a cool skink army (and I do but its mostly not assembled BUT DON'T WORRY AB--) that's pretty fucking sick.

-I've tabled at multiple big conventions, and I'll be tabling at an event next year that I've dreamed of tabling at since I was 14. And. AND. Each one was actually profitable.

-My art journey has taken a while, but each year I get better and do more things and although I'm not where I want to be, I've made things with value and meaning and I'll only keep improving if I put the time in. I've done things I could only once dream of doing. I've also hit a point where, things may take a bit, but I genuinely feel like I can tackle almost any subject matter and I'll break through.

-I've met so many incredible people and forged wonderful friendships both online and IRL and I'm thankful for it all. It's hard to know what to do with everyone sometimes when I struggled with friendships for years.

-I was a weirdo baby-alt-fashion 20 year old, had a normie phase somewhere along the way, and now my fashion has returned to where it belongs: straight out of 2010 and I care less and less about what people think and I grow more and more confident in just being myself.

-If I'm being real -- I'm not where I want to be, in a lot of ways. Thing's have been a downward spiral the last few years, but I've been growing in my work and my resilience and by god you cannot kill me in a way that matters.

-My biggest takeaway is really: not everything gets better. But a lot of things do. And you have a lot of power over a lot of things - you just have to be brave and keep kicking. Some things get better, some things get worse, some things stay mostly the same. But you keep growing. You keep changing. You gotta persist. You gotta.