#because ain’t no WAY that DEMON who wants to LITERALLY CONSUME a CHILD is his father figure

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Will y’all come for me if I *actually* reblog sebaciel content ?

[akelyokikagu]

Paper Cranes - Chapter 1

Onmyouji AU. 

Chapter 1: Pieces of wish

Someone was coming for her ass.

To be exact, she had been pursued since a hour of two and it was becoming hard to continue. The trappers were well-prepared and competent, they had weakened her with vicious bullets— something able to slow down her regeneration capacity— and it hurt like hell. She probably had been tracked down since at least a month, as they perfectly knew when she was vulnerable: during sunny days and where did she usually go in the mountain. The others never accompanied her during one of her ballad, the area was usually safe and no one sane would dare to penetrate the Yato’s territory.

Kagura didn’t know whether to qualify the hunters of smart or simply stupid.

They had been playing hide and seek for a while now, with all the trees surrounding them it would have been easy to hide if not for the bloodstains she left. Jumping in green wouldn’t do— she was clad with red cheongsam. In all, she would analyse the situation to be pretty much fucked . Yato or not, she was losing her vision and blood, each steps meant pain and darkening sight while fear filled her mind.

Humans themselves did not scare her, she could easily dislocate their bones and pulverize them into a quivering mass of flesh which meant a horrible death for them. However, their greed was as insatiable as blood for a Yato, it was never enough.

She heard the trivial sound of shouts coming closer. They probably understood which way she went for, right corner to end up in a deeper forest but she knew. It wasn’t going to conclude well for her, and for them. Kamui, Mucchan were going to find and avenge her in a violent massacre, which Kagura didn’t really agree to. Anyway, it will took them times to find her, meanwhile, she’ll live the worst humiliation for a high-breed demon like herself.

“She’s here, search her around! Don’t forget to seal her as quickly as possible before her companions come.” A man voiced out in a commanding tone, probably the leader of this dangerous capture.

“We’ll be able to do whatever we want with her in our hands, name a price and we’ll get it.” Another one talked, he was the closest to her spot: behind a large trunk to shadow her small frame. By peering discreetly Kagura could count four of them, though they had divided midway in their hunt, one to chase her and the other to . “Fame, women, money, everything will open up to us!”

The girl cringed at his smug face. Not with your bloated stomach anyway. Who’d want a nasty man like you? Her hand rested on the opposite shoulder, as if to ease the severe injuries, two holes there, three on the left leg and one on the right one. Could she be called a walking-cheese now?

“Fucktards…” She cursed under her breath, her legs trembled if pain. She couldn’t much more and those humans were going to get and seal her in a Shikigami and let Onmyoujis bid until someone buy her for a ridiculous price. “If only I had my umbrella, Kamui was right when he said to always bring it with me.”

It hitched her to just go and launch at them but that would be equal to suicide. So yeah, not really a good idea. Or maybe if she wanted to die which was not the case here. One more string of curses flooded her brain and she started to ponder seriously on how to evade when there are, in all, around ten men pursuing you. She got some moment to rip her cheongsam and wrap her wounds, it bought her some time as the red liquid was becoming more faint.

There was a river not far, a good idea to disappear, she and her damn blood, if only she was not this tired and wounded. Besides, a single rustling sound and the hunters who are literally two meters far would go and shot her. She couldn't take more bullets. Her breathing was already hoarse and irregular, she couldn’t run, she couldn’t fight. Fact is, she was at her most vulnerable state right now. It’s just the same as before, someone please come and save me—

“Oh, what  do we have here?” The corpulent man mockingly wondered, “Finally got ya.” His tern lips curved into a large rictus, one without pity nor empathy. She didn’t shiver, but stared at him furiously, her eyes gleaming, transpiring of nothing but hate. Her hands curled into a fist and bit her lips, acknowledging that she couldn’t fight back. Their bullets couldn’t even be caught, it burned to her bones. Humans are great when we’re talking about making deadly weapons.

“Monster.”

“Funny’ that you say that when I ain’t a Yato, I’ve never killed any’thing. I bet you couldn’t say this much, lil’ Yato.”

A snarl donned on her face, teeth gritting, “I bet I can. At least we don’t enslave people for our own benefits, maybe we wouldn’t kill if you humans weren’t so greedy.” They had, after all, chose a fourteen years old girl like her as their prey, mercilessly shooting her with customized bullets, just to be able to gain what? Glory, perhaps? There was no glory in this, only selfishness she couldn’t stand.

On the other hand, the hunter just chuckled before mumbling what sounded like a mantra while holding a paper manikin like how a priest would, with a cross (at least, in the shonen mangas she read). Her last sight would be light surrounding her.

“Sougo, you should at least give it a try. The Shogun bought it for us, it’s the first Yato we’ve ever caught as a shikigami, it would be a shame to sell it back. Besides, you never had one yet and a Shinsengumi captain should have a high-ranked demon as his shikigami! Think of the image, not only of how useful it could be.” Kondo tried to reason his “son” for the nth time, the lass had been hell-bent on never having what they called ashikigami . A soul partner who can provide more support than a human’s and was more loyal, too.

“Kondo-san is right, you are famous for being the prodigy, both as a swordsman and as an Onmyouji , yet didn’t sustain one.” The puff of smoke were drive in mid-air, patterned in small and hazardous waves. Sougo’s face contorted in irritation, Hijikata-san could poison his lungs if he wanted but it bothered him, he hated the odour which reminisced him of good old times. It wasn’t a good thing.

“I don’t need anyone to protect my back or help me. A shikigami will only bother me, consume my energy that I could use into spells or parchments—”

“You know you’re wrong,” Hijikata crashes his cigarette suddenly, he had enough of the teenager, sometimes. He had always been childish when not around his now late-sister and he knew that, deeply within, Okita wasn’t really bad to the core, however, he was stubborn. “You are injured. You always get more injured than us and it’s not only because you are reckless.”

The flaxen-haired boy was, indeed, covered with bandages. “I kill more than you or any other members. I don’t need a dead to watch my back.”

“Do you consider Zaki’ to be useless? He ain’t strong, that’s for sure, but he’s useful. He watches our back when we fight and supervise us from within and both you and I know that you need someone to do the same for you. Even you can’t dodge ten blades at the same time, not to mention a hundred.” He sighed, it was tiring, speaking to him could be as gratifying as speaking to a stone. At least, stone wouldn’t talk back.

“He’s not, but he could let you die. Please die, Hijikata-san.”

“OI, I’M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS THERE!”

“C-Come on, calm down, you two.” Kondo distanced by pushing them to the opposite direction, instead, he handed out the paper manikin to the youngest, imitating the ultimate skill of young girls nowadays— the puppy stare. “Give it a chance you don’t know who you might meet.” His smile is warm akin to one of a parent to his son, and Sougo surrendered.

He hesitantly accepted the piece of paper, his eyes examined it, though the seal was one of the highest-quality to never allow the demon inside to escape, the presentation was rather simple. It was human-shaped, with small horns on the head and what looked like a hair accessory. There wasn’t any name on it, no indication of the gender (if Yato even had genders, they didn’t know much about them).

He took a sharp intake of breath, closed his eyes and focused on what was beneath this lifeless piece of white. There was like a feeling of fire, not a blazing flame but gentle light, like a candle’s one. Okita wondered if this was normal, but soon shrugged it as he felt a presence slowly sipping out.

“YOU! I’LL SPILL YOUR GUTS!” A high voice bellowed, he didn’t have the time to cock an eyebrow that he was already thrown against a wall, the strength was inhuman— definitely— he broke the wall, coughed blood. When his eyes traveled to a girl. First, she was very petite, pretty much around fourteen-fifteen years old, pale and the, her most striking features.

Red hair and big, round eyes. She looked frail. Is she really the Yato? Wait, she did throw me.

“Wait, you are not the one who sealed me.” She was obviously bewildered— he almost laughed at her own naïveté— she looked like a lost child. One who can crash you against a wall, but still. He was having a hard time believing that she was a Yato, the strongest demon clan they ever heard of. “YOU!” She glared at him, “Tell me what day is it. Who are you? Where am I?”

“Ahum, Today is...The fourth of June, thursday and you are at the Shinsengumi compound. This boy is called kita Sougo, your well...Future onmyouji.” Kondo answered though not asked, he was sure that Sougo was alright but would he be able to tame her? She sure didn’t look cooperative.

Actually, she was furious.

“No, I won’t. I want my freeness—”

Okita corrected, “Freedom—”

“My freedom back!” Maybe the fire I felt was her anger. It didn’t hurt, though. “It’s better for you guys too, or Kamui and Mucchan are going to kill all of you, no exceptions. Release me, you have no right to keep me as your pet—”

“The correct term would be shikigami .” Red clashed with blue. Adrenaline rose from his toes to his head, there was something about that make him boil from excitement, in the way she was so confident even in this kind of situations. “And it’s better to keep you, instead of letting souls and demons roam free and steal living people’s soul energy,” he scrambled, stood up to flash a smirk at her. (A vein popped on her face.) “You need it too, right, so you won’t disappear, you’ll end up as shikigami anyway.”

“As if, I don’t need anything from you puny humans.” She send him a challenging smile, a few days had passed since her capture which meant her body had been fully healed by then, not even a single scratch was left. Also, they were in a traditional japanese room, no sunlight and the weather was still bearable, she could easily pummel those three men. “Give it to me,” she pointed the paper, “release me.”

“Maa maa, Sougo and young lady, we should calm down and sit dow—”

“It’s no use, Kondo-san, they are already fighting each other. I think she’s perfectly fitted for him, no one could serve this idiot for long anyway,” Hijikata sipped his cup of tea which turned cold over the time while his hand rummaged through his pocket, flicking a bird-cut manikin out of it. Immediately after, a man appeared. “Oi, Yamazaki, how does a Yato seal a contract?”

“I have no idea, vice-commander.” A perplexed face was plastered on him, he wa considered to be the spy and the knowledgeable one of the Shinsengumi, for he had lived a long time and was good at socializing. “I mean, they are secluded, the best way would be asking...her.” He glanced at the blur of red mixing with brown, “Is she the Yato for captain Okita?”

Hijikata nodded. “Well,” he decided to finally walk to the two kids and kick one on the other. He was used to dealing with sadistic brats, and they were destroying the room (Kondo already passed out!). The girl was biting Sougo’s arm while the said victim was crushing her leg, the two were about to cry out of pain yet resisted, as if on some battle of who could withstand it the longest. “Stop destroying the room and make a contract already!”

“Die, Hijikata-san.”

“You die first, Sadist!” The redhead relinquished her teeths from his arms, only to ball up her fist and strike right on his jaw. That’s where it hurt the most, if she believed her brother, and it seemed to work. “Shut up Mayora—” How did she know he liked mayonnaise? “I’m not going to be anybody’s shikigami, especially not his.”

“Gyaha, you bitch, you could have avoided hitting me on the jaw!” His eyes glinted in a strange way. He wasn’t bored. “I’ll make you suffer until I die, right, Chinakami?”

“Who are you calling a Chinakami, Chihuahua?”

Hijikata and Yamazaki observed the scene unfolding in front of them, not sure if it was a good thing that the boy finally found what could be considered as a match or cry because of the new sadist here. Besides, Yamazaki wasn’t feeling good about it, even if Okita did look entertained, the girl emitted nothing but disgust, for unknown reasons. Sure, some demons and souls were resilient in making a contract and serve humans but they eventually got used to it and considered it to be good option to get enough energy to live, without killing off anybody. His family, for example, had always served government, now under the form of the Shinsengumi.

The Yato Clan was mysterious, were hardly seen and seemed to see it more as a humiliating thing rather than a win-win deal. They weren’t the only one, the strongest clans usually thought the same, maybe do they feel superior to humans or was there something he did not know of?

“Vice-commander, they are about to break commander’s Otae-shrine.”

“Ah.”

[hcllridge-blog]

when u thought you were gonna be hella later than this but you got off work three hours early here comes your highness ---- the trash queen. aloha, for those of you who don’t know me, i’m rach/rachel, a resident of the gmt+1 timezone who’s twenty n goes by she/her pronouns !! straight up, this intro is gonna be a copy-paste of the og one i used because.. nothing changed. i mean, lowkey teegs is now engaged to neil ( lmfao ) bc #arranged marriage lyf ---- but everything else is the same. below the cut you can read all about this piece of literal trash and also my second character aka a literal anGel !! 

VICTORIA JUSTICE ˙ ｡♦ ⋅ ⋆ — here comes TEEGAN HELLRIDGE. did you hear that they are TWENTY-ONE, & a CISFEMALE SHADOWHUNTER. people tend to call HER OBSTINATE & IMPULSIVE. however, i say they are AUDACIOUS & DAUNTLESS. rumor has it, they are FOR the war

TW: MENTION OF ABUSE.

little teegan hellridge was practically raised on hearing stories about her magnificent father, alexander hellridge— the shadowhunter was a great and powerful man, a man who had a name to honor from centuries before him and who planned on keeping it that way.

alexander dedicated his life to being the best he could, constantly training, constantly working and wanting to do all that he could for the shadowhunting world. he threw himself into mission after mission and while he may never had made it as a head of the institute— he was certainty still an important figure.

teegan could never get enough of his stories, her father was her hero, she would beg for him to tell her stories of his missions— no matter how many times she’d heard some of the stories beforehand.

growing up, teegan knew that she too would have to continue to honor the hellridge name, something that coming after as great of a man as her father; made her feel insecure or concerned that she may not be the best that he was, that she wouldn’t live to be as legendary and heroic as alexander.

from the minute she could walk, alexander was eager to train his daughter— believing that starting early would be the key to her success, and it only helped that teegan showed great interest and determination.

despite the fact that teegan often was top of her class, it seemed that this was never enough for alexander— while his daughter would try to celebrate her success he would put her down, telling her not to get too ahead of herself and that she still needed to perfect her skills,  that what she had done wasn’t good enough yet.

alexander pushed his daughter to every limit possible, and the older she got, the more teegan began to convince herself that it was a case of ‘tough love’. sometimes he would smile at her like he did when she was a child, when he would tell her those stories that she oh so loved to hear— but as for the rest of the time, he was stoic. he wasn’t her father, he was her commander and she was his personal solider.

alexander’s wife had stuck by him throughout it all, despite the fact she may not have agreed with his ways of training, she couldn’t voice her opinion without teegan jumping down her throat that he was trying to train her to perfection, that it’s what she wanted.

albeit, victoria hellridge cracked— one day the once loving wife and mother threw in the towel, offering alexander an ultimatum and threatening to take her daughter away from him.

what made her suddenly crack was alexander’s obsession been taken to a level no one would’ve expected— he was consumed by the idea of creating a perfect little solider, of having HIS daughter’s name go down in history.

between his daughter being blinded by her admiration for him, and how easily he could manipulate her by whispers of how powerful he was going to make her; it was only natural that upon her father suggesting experimenting on his own daughter, she agreed.

victoria, however was not going to stand for this— calling her husband all names under the sun and making out that he was psychotic, twisted, a disgusting man; something he then only proved to be right when she threatened to take teegan from him. he wasn’t about to let his pride and joy be taken by anyone, not even his wife.

with being such a well-known, loved man, alexander easily wound himself into getting his wife de-runed; and furthermore, getting her out of the picture. though, as far as teegan knows, her mother left them both; her father twisting the image into her mind that victoria was a selfish woman, that she didn’t want teegan to suceed; which only further fueled her desire to be that perfection her father pictured her as.

this is getting excessively long so to cut to the chase; alexander lowkey very much experimented on teegan— literally he’s kinda very much the worst dad in the world but she’s entirely blinded by this because she loves and admires him so much and fr someone needs to smack her bitch ass and tell her to wake the fuck up because everything about her relationship with her father is wrong wrong WRonG.

oh !! i should say that the only reason teegan is FOR the war is because daddy-o was whispering in her ear about it and has convinced her that it’s for the best because he ain’t a fan of them downworlders soOoo.

and of course teegan gonna do and follow what he says sooOo.

okay so little added bonus !! ya gurl has angel blood. thOUGh. she’s totally unaware of this factor as it’s from her mamma and her mamma never told her or her pops about it. her fathers experimentation have all been seen as failures by him considering they never had any impact or outcome on teegan, though he’s unaware the entire time that she already has what he desires her to have.

basically, as i’ve probably repetitively said throughout the many bullet points above; she’s daddy’s little solider-— teegan will do literally ANYTHING he asks of her, he could ask her to cut off her own arm and tell her it would benefit her and make her a better shadowhunter and she’d fucking do it like? it’s pretty extreme. she’s very much a down-to-business kind of person, likes to get shit done. can 100% be found training all the fucking time like.. even if she’s injured she’s gonna train. can be fairly snarky and just.. comes off generally not nice because she’s not here to make friends rly she’s here to be the best lmfao. iDk mAn. she’s a mess i’m a mess who isn’t a mess.

as for plots.. ya’ll i’m a big plot slut please give me eVerYTHINg. like, especially someone who might’ve accidentally found out about her dad’s exterminations on her? because he would’ve obviously kept that hella lowkey so pls? give me this plot? we can discuss if teegan knows this muse knows about it or their reactions etc. IDK MAN I WANT IT ALL.

{ TROIAN BELLISARIO } ˙ ｡♦ ⋅ ⋆ — here comes (OCTAVIA NIX). did you hear that they are (APPEARING TWENTY-FOUR/TWENTY-NINE), & a (CISFEMALE) (WARLOCK). people tend to call (HER) (MANIPULABLE) & (FEARFUL) however, i say they are (INTELLIGENT) & (COMPASSIONATE). rumor has it, they are (AGAINST) the war.

TW: MENTION OF ATTEMPTED MURDER.

so first off, octavia is a fairly 'new' warlock i guess one could say? considering most are hundreds, centuries of years old she is only five years older than the year she stopped visually ageing at.

she's still very much coming to terms with her magic, learning new things on daily basis. it's only something of recent she's been trying her hand at, as for years she refused to acknowledge her power.

octavia was the offspring of an american-italian by the name of juliana, while her 'father' was that of a demon shape-shifted to the appearance of juliana's husband, alberto.

she was deemed a 'normal' child for many years, despite the fact on rare occasions alberto swore he saw her eyes light a vibrant shade of lilac.

skipping forward, basically alberto started to study closer into the eye-changing? and therefore wound up spending hours upon hours researching ---- the deeper he got into the idea of it being a supernatural cause the more repulsed and horrified he felt. coming from such a christian background he felt disgusted to think he had been taking his demonic, devil-child to church each sunday.  

it was then he began to form the perfect plan, he could make it look like an accident ---- juliana would never know, it could be written off as a suicide.

however, his plan went to ruins when his wife landed home in the midst of alberto with both hands against octavia's shoulders, attempting to drown her in their family bathtub.

i just realized both my girls have #daddy issues daMn.

anywho, basically juliana saved octavia and tried to search out help ?? considering she was entirely unaware of octavia's 'gift'.

which octavia wound up living with a friend of her mothers for a time whom was also a warlock; the older female promising to teach octavia how to use her powers wisely.

however, being scarred from the doings of her father, she refused her help.  

wanting to try her hand at leading a normal life, octavia moved to manhattan ---- finding herself a comfortable one bedroom apartment and for a period of time, she even had a job. which, she somewhat still has. after taking a job in a florists it was something she found a deep adoration for; finding the trade itself rather relaxing. making use of the extensive balcony her apartment was supplied with, octavia began to grow her own flowers and creating her own bouquets at home ---- opening her own small business were she worked from home.

this is trash but i swear i'm going to write up proper, detailed bios for my children in the future i sWear. but basically, octavia has only began to just drabble into magic and her abilities? it's something she's still very reluctant about and until this point has been trying to live life as a mundane. lowkey wakes up sweating and screaming sometimes because she has night terrors of her attempted murder lmAo. is a hella pushover? the reason she probably got into magic was because someone asked her to do a thing so she had to learn how to do it for them. honestly, you could manipulate her to do anYthing for you. emotionally just.. s m o l? her outfit aesthetic is basically spencer hastings like ?? not sorry. lowkey grew up wearing a little gold cross around her neck that she still wears but it's often hidden under the collar of her shirts lmaO. probs is always drinking herbal teas, feeds stray cats 10/10, apartment is covered in flowers and millions upon millions of books. i hope that ?? kinda covers the basis of my smol child but please !! plot with her ?? pls. lowkey feel like when the day met the night --- p!atd describes her in terms of she's the moon tbh ??

IDK GUYS PLS JUST GIMMIE ALL THE DAMN PLOTS.

[theliteraturenerd]

25 MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHTS FOR WRITERS by Chuck Wendig

1. YOU ARE THE GOD OF THIS PLACE

The blank page is your world. You choose what goes into it. Anything at all. Upend the frothy cup that is your heart and see what spills out. Murder plots. Train crashes. Pterodactyl love interests. Vampire threesomes. Housewife bondage. Demon spies! Cake heists! Suburban ennui! You can destroy people. You can build things. You can create love, foster hate, foment rage, invoke sorrow. Anything you want in any order you care to present it. This is your story. This is your jam.

2. INFINITE POWER, ZERO RESPONSIBILITY

Not only are you god of this place, but you have none of the responsibility divine beings are supposed to possess. You have literally no responsibility to anyone but yourself — you’re like a chimp with a handgun. Run amok! Shoot things! Who cares? There exists this non-canonical infancy gospel where Jesus is actually a little kid and he’s like, running around with crazy Jesus wizard powers. He’s killing them and resurrecting them and he’s turning water into Kool-Aid and loaves into Goldfish crackers — he’s just going apeshit with his Godborn sorcery. BE LIKE CRAZY JESUS BABY. Run around zapping shit with your God lightning! You owe nobody anything in this space. It’s adult swim. It’s booze cruise.

3. THE RAREST BIRD OF THEM ALL

The easiest way to separate yourself from the unformed blobby mass of “aspiring” writers is to a) actually write and b) actually finish. That’s how easy it is to clamber up the ladder to the second echelon. Write. And finish what you write. That’s how you break away from the pack and leave the rest of the sickly herd for the hungry wolves of shame and self-doubt. And for all I know, actual wolves.

4. YOU’RE NOT CLEANING UP SOME SIXTH GRADER’S VOMIT

You have worse ways to spend a day than to spend it writing. Here’s a short list: artificially inseminating tigers, getting shot at by an opposing army, getting eaten by a grue, mopping the floors of a strip club, digging ditches and then pooping in them, cleaning up the vomit of nervous elementary school children, being forced to dance by strange dance-obsessed captors, working in a Shanghai sweatshop making consumer electronics for greedy Americans, and being punched to death by a coked-up Jean-Claude Van Damme. Point is: writing is a pretty great way to spend a morning, afternoon, or night.

5. ABUSE THE FREEDOM TO SUCK

Writing is not about perfection — that’s editing you’re thinking of. Editing is about arrangement, elegance, cutting down instead of building up. Editing is Jenga. Writing is about putting all the pieces out there. It’s construction in the strangest, sloppiest form. It’s inelegant. And imperfect. And insane. It’s supposed to be this way. Writing is a first-time bike-ride. You’re meant to wobble and accidentally drive into some rose bushes. Allow yourself the freedom — nay, the pleasure — to suck. This is playtime. (Or, as I call it: “Whiskey and Hookers” time.) Playtime is supposed to be messy.

6. AND EMBRACE THE AUTHORITY TO BE FUCKING AWESOME

It’s your rodeo, hoss. You have the authority to write with confidence, to puff your chest out, to slap your ink-smeared genitals on the table as you utter your barbaric yawp. Aim big. Go bold. Don’t hide from your own most kick-ass desires. Don’t unfurl the story with hands trembling from the fear of what others will think. You have the power to do different. Yours is the authority to choose the road with your name on it. Write the story the tangle of desires and neuroses that comprise you so desire: A love affair between a man and a parking meter! A civil war between robots and other robots! A SPACE OPERA STARRING ROOT VEGETABLES. Fortune favors the bold. And being fucking awesome favors being fucking awesome.

7. YOU CAN CLEAN UP THE MESS LATER

Writers are afforded the glorious possibility of endless do-overs and take-backs. Every draft a new chance to go back and clean up messes and untangle the tangled wires that hide beneath the narrative. Can you imagine that privilege in real life? “Hey, when you go outside today, anything you do can be undone and the whole day can be recreated.” Holy crap, the day you’d have! Bath salts and dolphin sex, car crashes and muddy graves. I’d have an orgy at a candy factory. (So sticky!) I’d kill someone just because I could. I’D EAT DEEP-FRIED LIPO FAT AT A COUNTRY FAIR SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF AMERICA. If I didn’t like it, I’d go back and wipe the slate clean, start over again. That’s your story. Your story is a madcap day whose minutes and hours subject to your whims of rewriting — or unwriting.

8. A ROOM FULL OF STARVING STORY ADDICTS

For all the dire predictions about writing and publishing, I’m going to make a promise to you: the audience is waiting. They’re a subway car full of twitchy story tweakers going around and around, looking for any stop that will give them good story. They’re there for you. They’re waiting for your tale told. Writers often feel like they’re just sobbing into the void, but the audience will hear your plaintive cries, young storyteller. You may feel like a story flunky, but be sure that the audience is full of story junkies. Hey, snap, that rhymed and I didn’t even mean it to. FUCK YEAH WORDS.

9. I’M TALKING ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM, SON

You are allowed to live a reward-driven life. You want me to motivate you? Go motivate yourself. (That is not code for “go fuck yourself,” unless I don’t like you, then it totally is.) Set a various goals and when you hit them, do something nice for yourself. I mean, the goal shouldn’t be, “Every time I write a sentence, I get an ice cream cone,” because that sir is a high-speed rail straight to the heart of Diabetesburg. But hit your mark of 2000 words a day? Write a chapter? Finish the book? Accept how kick-ass that is and reward yourself. It’s okay. You have my permission. (As long as you don’t bogart that ice cream. Dick.)

10. NOBODY ELSE WRITES LIKE YOU

When all your force fields and filters are down, when you’ve stripped yourself of your presuppositions and your fears and needs and your pants, you discover that nobody in the world writes like you. Nobody has your ideas. Nobody has your narrative memetic code. You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake, no. But your writing — your writing is your fingerprint. Your voice is yours and yours alone.

11. WE’RE TOTALLY BUILT FOR THIS

Someone will look down on you at some point (or, if you’re me, at frequent points throughout your day) for being what you want to be. Writer. Author. Artist. Storyteller. Here’s why that’s a dumpster full of shitballs: we are built for this. One of the things that lashes us all together with rope and chain and psychic plasm is our desire — nay, our sacred fucking need — to tell stories. We’ve been doing it since we drew Neanderthals chasing unicorns on cave walls. We tell stories about the weather, about work, about family and friends, about pets and sex and about that time that friend we have at work had sex with his pet python while a hurricane raged outside. This is what we do. You’re just codifying it. Making it real.

12. ONE WORD AFTER THE OTHER

The technical side of writing — by which I mean, the physical act itself — is one of the easiest things you can do. It’s literally one word placed after the other with some appropriate punctuation thrown in between breaths and ending thoughts. Yes, it gets more complex once you start thinking about narrative, character, meaning, text versus subtext — but for now, fuck all that. Just breathe. Let the tension go out of you (not so much you pee yourself). This is like LEGO. One block upon the other. One word after the next.

13. JUST WRITE 100 MORE WORDS

A frequent phrase said when I was a child or a teenager: just ten more minutes. Meaning, it was time to go to sleep (as a child) or time to get up for school (as a teenager) and all I wanted to do was avoid sleep (child) or sleep longer (teenager). As a writer, play the same game with yourself: you want to give up, close the notebook, save the story? Just 100 more words. That’s all. Push yourself just a little. A hundred words ain’t much (it’s about the size of this text block). And you’d be amazed at how 100 words just isn’t enough.

14. THIS IS HOW YOU GET BETTER

Writing is a muscle: the more you use it the stronger it gets. Writing is like a dog: the more you train it, the smarter it becomes. Writing is like one of your orifices: every time you allow a bigger object to be inserted within (pinky, buttplug, fist, cucumber, wiffle ball bat, railroad tie) you train it to gape wider the next time. …okay, maybe not so much the last one. Still: writing begets writing. You may not be great — or even good — now. But effort yields fruit. Fruit you may later jam up your ass for pleasure. Wait, what?

15. THE MORE YOU DO IT, THE EASIER IT GETS

It’s not just about getting better. It’s about it becoming easier. More natural. More intuitive. The act of writing cultivates both calluses (a metaphorical hardening the fuck up, Care Bear) and instinct (where your decisions as a word-captain and story-slinger are less the product of rigorous thought and more the result of you just having a gut feeling and going with it). Hard at first. Easier over time.

16. YOU ARE NOT THE OMEGA MAN

You are not alone. You are not Lonely Writer Person on Planet Nobody. We all get what you’re going through. We know your triumphs and terrors. The future of writing will be us uploading ourselves to The Cloud (probably on Amazon’s servers), our spirit animals glomming together to howl a single song, but for now, we’re all located at our individualized story pods, cranking out the words by ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we’re alone. We have community. We have shared understanding. Reiterate: You are not alone.

17. YOUR LOVE FOR WRITING IS ENDURING AND IMPERFECT

Some days will be great and other days will be hard. Some days you will love the thing that you’re doing so intimately and so completely that you feel like you achieved some kind of narrative orgasmic apotheosis, whereas other days you will feel nothing but septic hate gurgling in your empty belly and every word slung will feel like a brick flung into your own nose. Your love for this thing you do needn’t be there every day. Every day won’t feel like winning the championship. But the love endures, imperfect as it is.

18. IT’S OKAY THAT SOME DAYS ARE REALLY FUCKING HARD

Some days are difficult. The words feel like dead fish flopping out onto a dirty floor. Hell, maybe they don’t fall out at all but feel like they must be yanked one by one, the act both painful and slow, as if you’re extracting teeth. Some days are shitty. Is what it is. All writers go through it. You want to do this thing then don’t look at the shitty days as a problem: see them as a challenge that prove your pudding.

19. WRITER’S BLOCK IS NOT A REAL THING

You can be blocked. Everybody gets blocked. But it’s not special. It’s not unique to writers. It doesn’t deserve its name or the credit it receives. More importantly, it isn’t a physical thing — it isn’t a gorilla with a croquet mallet who smashes your hand every time you reach for the keyboard. You can get past it. You think past it. You write past it. You kick it in the teeth and step over its twitching body.

20. HOW TO IMAGINE THE HATERS

If there is one thing we have learned upon this old Internet of ours, it is: haters gonna hate. You will ever have disbelievers among your ranks, those who pop up like scowling gophers, boring holes through your well-being, your hopes, your dreams. It is very important not to prove the haters right. It is very important to know where to place the haters in rank of importance, which is to say, below telemarketers, below any television show on TLC, below crotch fungus and garbage fires and anal cankers. Imagine the haters herded into a pen. Eaten by the tigers of your own awesomeness. Then digested. Shat out. And burned with flamethrowers. The only power you should afford the haters is the power to eat curb.

21. MULTIPLE SHOTS AT GOAL

Just as you get multiple chances to fix a single story, you get multiple stories to fill your life — as many as you care to cram into your days, months, years. Our lives are a series of stories untold, and it’s up to you to tell them. This one might not be successful. But the next one might.

22. THE LEPRECHAUN’S GIFT

At the end of this rainbow are whatever rewards you want. Money? It’s there. Some say writers don’t earn out, that you can’t make a living doing this thing that we do. That’s a quiver of broken arrows: don’t sling it over your shoulder. I do it. I know a lot of writers who do it. So can you. But it’s not just money at the end: it’s self-fulfillment. It’s love. It’s confidence. It’s the things you’ve learned about yourself, about the craft of writing, about the art of storytelling. You never know what you’ll find until you climb that motherfucking rainbow. (One time I found a cardboard box of vintage porn and tasty grilled cheese sandwiches.) Writing is a journey. Each story just one leg of the trip. So start walking.

23. YOU ARE YOUR ONLY ENEMY

You have no enemy but yourself. You’re the only one that brings a story into existence, or, as it may turn out, fails to engineer that existence. Your enemy is not your spouse, your kids, your boss, your neighbor, your dog, your mother, your buddy. It is not time, work, addiction, distraction. It is not video games or Twitter, Facebook or television. Your enemy is fear. And indolence. And lack of discipline. And: uncertainty. And: lack of self-esteem. And all those things live inside your heart and your head. That’s hard to hear at first, but the trick is, that means you have the power to sweep all that shit off the table until it clatters and shatters against the floor. You’re the only one standing in your own way so, knock down your own worst inclinations and get to it. Disclaimer: actually, unicorns are frequently the writer’s enemy and if you got a unicorn problem best thing I can recommend is to call a priest. You can’t kill those things with weedkiller. And they deflect bullets with their horns. That’s no lie. Unicorns are pesky assholes.

24. THIS MATTERS

Story matters. Writing is important. Stories make the world go around. Many things begin as words on a page. It matters to the world. And it matters to you. Don’t let anyone rob you of that. Don’t rob yourself of it, either. Don’t diminish. Don’t dismiss. Embrace. Create. Accelerate.

25. UM, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

Uh, hello? You should’ve bailed on me ten list items ago. What the fidgety fuck are you still doing here? Whatever it is you want to write — novel, script, short story, blog post, haiku out of fridge magnets — go forth and do it. Don’t wait for me. Don’t wait for all the answers. Don’t wait for permission, motivation, inspiration. It’s time to saddle up and gallop forth — through the white dust and the red sand, through the darkness of your own fears or inadequacies and into the light of a tale told to completion. Quit lookin’ at me. Quit looking for reasons. Quit dicking around. Close this browser and go tell a story, willya?

by Chuck Wendig

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #53

“easy to be sleazy when you’ve got a filthy mind.”

what's the last movie you watched on your own?   i couldn't tell you.  i don't watch movies on my own, it's boring. what about the last movie you watched with another person?   chelsea and i had "gbf" on netflix, but we didn't really watch it. what about the last movie you saw at the cinema? was it good?   colleen, chelsea, and i saw "trolls" for a buck.  it was SOOOO cute. do you attend school, college, or uni?   an art university, yeah. what do you study, wherever you study?   digital photography. kisses on the cheek or the neck?   cheek if you wanna be casual, but neck kisses if you want me to rip your fucking clothes off lmao. how do you earn your keep?   i don't work.  i'm ashamed of it, but i don't and can't work like a "normal" human being.  i'm trying to find a job with my very limiting criteria, but it's not easy, at all.  i doubt i'll ever have a proper job until i can be a freelance photographer. if you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be?   GERMAN, latin, and ummm... i mean i guess spanish, because it'd be most convenient to me. who do you usually text the most?   my mom or my best friend colleen. shaved legs or shaved arms?   legs.  i don't shave my arms. fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs?   i like scrambled and cheesy eggs. have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed?   no.  it'd be nice at least once. have you always got good grades?   from elementary all the way through high school, yeah.  i'm struggling in college... list four things about your facial appearance:   i have blue eyes, glasses, no freckles, and a piercing on the right side of my nose. list four things about your general appearance:   i'm overweight because fuck heartbreak, i'm white, i have no ass, and i have large breasts. list four things you like about yourself:   i'm passionate as fuck, i honestly think i have good morals, i'm loyal, and very understanding. list four things you dislike about yourself:   i'd kill for one man, i'm jealous to the point of hatred, i overreact to literally everything, i can't socialize, you want me to go on? this quiz is pretty different to others, right?   lmao you ruined it cats or dogs?   while i personally find felines to be more interesting as animals, i prefer dogs as pets. are you hungry right now?   no.  my appetite pill is actually working. what do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo?   lmao i was one of those people, i love it!  document your story!  it's beautiful! can you work the washing machine?   ... no.  embarrassing, right.  idk what settings to put it on. do you like your photo being taken?   NO.  other people don't know how to flatter my face. do you like taking photos of yourself?   i mean, i'm a photographer, so every now and again. next gig you're going to?   who knows?  i'd like to go to the carolina rebellion this year, BADLY, but money is such an issue in my family. favorite color?   maroon, baby. when do you plan on moving out?   when i'm with a significant other.  i used to believe i could live on my own in an apartment or something, but no.  depression would consume me entirely. is there someone in your life you wish you never met?   of course there is.  jabari, who tried raping my sister right in front of me, for one.  dustin, ashley's ex, who did nothing but break her heart and abuse her.  there are more.  i personally don't believe everyone comes into one's life for a reason. who/what is your favorite cartoon character?   i don't really know.  i like garfield.  and courage the cowardly dog. what do you think of your mother?   she's very supportive, loving, funny, rational, and serves as my rock.  i'd be lost as fuck if i didn't have my mom.  just sometimes, she thinks she knows more than she does about me. your father?   i love him so much and i live in constant regret about hating him for so many years.  i wish i'd burned that letter i wrote him in opposition of actually sending that shit, because i wonder all the time if he still thinks about what i told him.  he'd do anything for me, and i hope i can repay him for that one day. your siblings (if there are any)?   tiffany: i don't know you, but i wish i did.  misty: you're great, and i miss you.  katie: you confuse me, but i still love you and hope you're okay.  bobby: hey now, you're an all-star.  seeing you with christian lights up my whole world.  i hope i'm half the parent you are some day.  ashley: we're too much alike in an odd way.  you've been through so much, yet you've come so far as a person.  i mean jesus christ, you're a radiologist!  and to know you were once suicidal, that's so inspirational to me.  you have a husband who loves you, even after, like me, believing you could never love another.  you have two beautiful children who love you so much, but i wonder if they can ever love you like i do.  nicole: i worry about you.  you need to leave that damn boy, he's not good enough for you, and he is going to drag you down.  you're too big and bold a person to be chained.  i worry about your happiness quotient as long as he's around, but regardless, i know you're going to go pretty damn far. how many hours do you spend online a day?   i don't really know, but i can't say i care too much.  i don't get why people treat the internet like it's so horrible.  like, let's think about it.  most people, when they have nothing better to do, what do they do?  they watch television.  i sit on the computer instead.  at least i'm engaging my brain. explain your current feelings for your last ex bf/gf:   i'm entirely aware i'm more than in love with him, i'm obsessed with him.  you ain't truly been in love until it gets that far, hunny. how do you feel about teen relationships?   they're fine?  they can lead to a forever relationship. who’s room of the opposite sex were you in last? when?   uhhh.  my dad's and his wife's when i was passing through to go take a shower. what are your views on homosexuals in general?   they're just as human as a heterosexual, if not more open-minded as half the heterosexual populace has issue with them. do you and any of your friends have a "song?"   ha ha ha, yeah.  colleen and i say our "song" is that country piece called "friends" by ummm... blake shelton, i think?  it's such a cutesy song, and when she first showed it to me, she said it made her think of us.  i hate country, yet i still jam out with her every time we hear it. (: which is more important to you - friends or family?   family.  who says some friends can't be family? which is worse - smoking, drinking, or drugs?   drugs.  easily.  allow me to also clarify, alcohol is a drug, so drinking is pretty equal?  nicotine is a drug too, right? is there one person you would seriously kill if you could get away with it?   um.  only if i wouldn't feel guilty.  which i would. what is the last scary movie that actually scared you?   the only scary movie to ever scare me is "the rite."  only because it played with an irrational fear of mine: being impregnated by satan or a demon in general.  i'm afraid of pregnancy period, but the idea of it being the devil's child and it ripping out of your fucking stomach like can you not what are you listening to?   "gospel" by panic! at the disco.  i love his voice in this song so fucking much.  them high notes in the chorus, tho. what is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others?   i'm single. how long have you liked the person you like right now?   five years how many shots can you take?   i've never taken a shot before, and truly, i don't really want to.  i mean i'm sure i will at some point, i just don't have the desire to because i hate the taste of alcohol, and shots are so concentrated. what's a fact about the last person you kissed?   he just turned 23. do you think you're old?   no, shame i feel it, though. are you a jealous person?   in general?  actually, no.  i only get jealous when it comes to jason. when is the next time you will kiss someone?   you tell me. has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs?   i don't think so. do you have a passion for anything?   meerkats!!  photography!!  silent hill and gaming in general!!  rhett and link/gmm!!  heavy metal!! are you a romantic person?   i honestly think i am. what do you think of when i say "lumberjack?"   lmao omg the first thing that came to mind was rhett singing and dancing to the song he made up on the high-heeled lumberjack challenge on gmm. how many children do you want?   one-three.  one if childbirth/pregnancy was way too much, two is most likely, three is a big maybe. do you like mexican food?   nope. do you have a favorite author?   not really. do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again?   if juan even counts, yeah, we talk like what, less than even once a month.  he's made it apparent he wants to be with me again, but pretty sure he's a player, so. do your legs get really itchy after shaving them?   christ, yeah.  my left leg got so itchy once after shaving that i have a large scar going up my shin from scratching it so badly.  even putting lotion on didn't help. do you wear a ring on your finger?   yeah, a ruby/garnet/whatever ring on my right ring finger.  i just put it on permanently the other day.  i got it for christmas. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it is pierced.  i've thought of taking it out in favor of getting the septum pierced though, but i changed my mind. have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?   no, but a guy with a tattoo has kissed me. which berry is your favorite?   strawberries, definitely. have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?   i took four semesters of german. would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?   lake. do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the winter?   omg yaaass would you ever like to own a chandelier?   hell yeah.  i'm big on those creepy octopus chandeliers. when is the last time you went to a carnival?   oh fuck me.  last time i went to a carnival/festival one night was over a year ago with jason and dillon.  i went on a ride i was terrified of (jason was a bit iffy too; he doesn't like heights), and dillon made a self-mutilation joke that nearly ruined the whole night. how many notebooks do you own? are they all filled?   oh jeez.  LOADS.  i have a drawer filled with 'em... i wanna throw them out though.  really old, embarrassing writings. have you ever lived on a university campus?   no. what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?   mike's hard, i guess.  not like i've tried many. when was the last time you saw a photo of your ex?   long-ish time ago.  i have a picture from our prom beside my bed, but it's buried beneath papers.  so probably the last time i checked his facebook months ago. do you “binge-watch” tv shows?   haven't done that since "sherlock" with jason. do you play any games on your phone?   not anymore.  i had pokemon go, but i had to get rid of it after i ran out of room on my phone, despite having deleted every other app but pinterest and my period tracker.  not like it's really a fun game for rural players, anyway.  you never have pokeballs because pokestops don't exist. have you ever shaved your face?   no.  i mean i've waxed my eyebrows and lip and plucked stray hairs on my chin, but never shaved it. what was the last vaccination you got?   no idea.  probably for an std, y'know, those shots you get as a teenager. how long does it usually take you to get over a break up?   lmao been a year and a handfull of months, still not over it. do you get motion sickness?   nope. do you often forget what you were just about to say?   always.  makes me feel stupid. how many blue-eyed people have you kissed?   none. do you have a friend named holly?   i knew a holly in elementary school, but she was never my friend. what are your parents' middle names?   marie and john. does frequent use of swear words offend or upset you?   not at all, because i don't believe in our definition of "profanity."  who honestly gives a valid fuck about whether a word is "bad" or not.  what makes a word "bad," anyway?  however, i do believe in harmful words that i don't like hearing.  like, calling someone a bitch, to me, is just as bad as calling someone a mean person.  because they mean the same thing.  what makes "bitch" worse?  also, i hate derogatory terms to certain groups, like "the 'n' word" for black people.  otherwise, "swear" all you want, i really don't care. when/where did you meet your first love?   well, to be technical, facebook.  i thought he was a jason i did know, so i accepted his friend request.  thank god i did.  he wanted to be my friend to begin with because he saw me in the hallway at school and, according to him, he thought immediately, "that girl's going to save me."  he remembers exactly what I was wearing, everything.  how he found my facebook, i guess i should probably wonder, lol.  it's so funny, how he claims i was going to save him.  and now i'm the one who needs him.  funny shit. how many facebook friends do you have?   uhhhh 126, i think? which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with?   MY GRANDMA HOLY FUCK have your parents met the person you're currently interested in?   yes, they have. who was your first major crush?   i'm not entirely sure.  maybe this kid named dylan? do you still talk to that person?   haven't in well over a decade.  lmao wait, did i ever even talk to him?  i just thought he was super cute. is there anything you need to do, that you're trying to avoid doing?   yeah.  i hate late homework. do you have any drinking cups with disney characters on them?   we haven't for years.  well, wait.  we may still have some. will you be moving anytime soon?   probably.  we were supposed to get evicted because mom can't afford the rent, yet we're still here.  but our landlord won't be merciful forever; mom still can't pay for it. have you ever written a book? perhaps you are writing one right now?   never finished any... oh yeah!  but one from when i was younger. favorite flavored milk shake?   vanilla do you or your best friend play in a band?   nah. can two living souls become one?   figuratively, sure, literally, no. last song you listened to and what does it mean to you?   i'm listening to "ready to go" by panic! at the disco.  first time listening to it; i'm on a panic! streak.  it just started, so no opinion yet. have you seen the entire harry potter series?   no.  jason and i watched a couple of the movies, but i could never get into it. have you ever been put to sleep for surgery?   i actually don't know.  i had tubes put in my ears as a baby, but i don't remember it at all. have you ever had a pregnancy scare?   okay this is funny.  despite never having sex, my anxiety made me believe by some miracle dry-humping had gotten me pregnant because i missed my period.  like i was so panicked i was even talking about it with jason.  god bless that man, i can only IMAGINE what he must've thought. when was the last time you went bowling?   some months ago with colleen, bradley, and girt. are you expected to help fix thanksgiving dinner?   no. have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?   no, thank god. do you personally know anyone who is transgender?   i don't think so. what’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?   original is the shit. what’s your favorite type of juice?   i really like mango. what was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?   dude, fuck latin. do you know anyone named amity?   no, but that's a cool name! what do you think of people who always wear make-up?   i really try not to have an opinion because that's really not my business at all, but i can't help but feel a bit sad.  like... i dunno, i just think you should be more comfortable with your own skin instead of always feeling like you've gotta cover it.  my older sister was like that for years, and it always made me sad, because she's so beautiful.  she wouldn't go out without it or take pictures if she didn't have some on. is there a smell that gives you headaches?   gasoline. what’s your least favorite thing about summer?   everything?  can i say everything??? have you ever wanted to vlog?   not really.  i lead a boring life and i am WAY too shy and awkward. do you have any of the guitar heroes/rock bands?   plenty.  original, ac/dc, metallica, green day, van halen, greatest hits, and i'm positive i'm missing some. have you ever worn flip flops in the snow?   lmao yes. do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?   of course i do. have you ever moved to a different state?   nope.  been in nc my whole life. have you ever been to germany?   no, but i'd REALLY like to go! what decade do you think is the best musically?   hm.  '80s. have you ever written poetry or fiction?   yup.  some cringy stuff lmao. have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?   yes.  we lived with another couple, who were our friends. how do you feel about your relationship status?   it's boring and lonely. how many relationships have you been in?   one legitimate one.  one puppy-love.  one misunderstanding that lasted less than a day. what’s something you do that really frustrates people who are closest to you?   i can be VERY passive and submissive.  like, ask me what i wanna do?  "i don't care."  wanna do this, brittany?  "if you want to."  is this fine for dinner, brittany?  "sure, if you feel like making it."  colleen HATES this about me. do you care what people think?   sometimes.  sometimes not at all.  sometimes way too much. is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you?   not anymore.  jason was like that.  it was supernatural. do you like the color yellow?   no, actually. what was your favorite game when you were a child?   the spyro games. when was the last time you had blood drawn?   last time i was at the er for mental reasons.  they always take your blood to ensure you're not on drugs. have you ever hated someone but felt pity for them at the same time?   honestly?  no. what eyeshadow color suits you best?   black, baby. in regards to kissing, full on making-out or will a peck suffice?   depends on where we are and how passionate we're feeling. are you a ke$ha fan?   no. how short is too short for shorts/skirts?   please at least keep your full ass covered. have you even swam in a lake? did you freak out about the germs, afterwards?   i have, and not particularly. have you ever snuck-out to see a guy?   nope. does your cell-phone take decent pictures?   NO.  i actually still have my old phone just to take my selfies lmao. have you ever sexted?   it's my biggest regret. have you ever posed topless with a friend?   i have not. do you shed hair everywhere you go?   ha ha yeah. where do you part your hair?   to the far left do you talk with your hands?   absolutely.  jason used to make fun of me for it, then he started to do it. do guy's adams apple's gross you out?   no. lil' wayne, hopsin, kanye west, or kid cudi?   i don't particularly like any of them, but there is a song by hopsin that makes me laugh. have you ever questioned your mental health?   i'm not questioning it, i've accepted it. when you go to the beach, are you swimming, tanning, playing, or searching for shells?   swimming and looking for shells! do you wash your hair every day?   no, that's bad for you. do you have long eyelashes?   my old english teacher stopped class just to point out they were once lmao.