#because Michael is the trolliest troll ever to troll

[ingravinoveritas]

WHAT. OH MY GOD. WHAT.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

12 extremely trolly Nextdoor posts that are absolutely absurd

It's Troll Week on Mashable. Join us as we explore the good, the bad, and the ugly of internet trolling. 

We all want to believe that our neighbors are pure beings who can do no wrong, but often that's really not the case. With so many people living in a single area, there will always be a few one-offs who stick out for all the strangest reasons.

But with the Nextdoor app, you can keep track of all of the important things that happen in your neighborhood, like how strongly your neighbors feel about e-scooters, or the epidemic of mysterious potatoes appearing in yards. And in between all of that sweet, sweet drama, you're guaranteed to find a few likely troll posts that'll make you rethink the trust you put in your neighbors.

SEE ALSO: Comedian trolls the Emmys red carpet with a Getty Images purse

After all, if you give a troll a platform to shitpost on, you bet they'll have no problem unleashing chaos. Take a look at the trolliest Nextdoor posts ever to scandalize the neighborhood, courtesy of Reddit and the incredible @bestofnextdoor Twitter account. 

1. "The Flatulent Phantom"

Is this post even real? The person who wrote it clearly made an enemy in their neighborhood and is now paying the smelly consequence. 

The fact that this person is forced to expose the world to this gross act of human indecency via coupon exchange is a punishment for everyone who interacts with this fellow. Granted, we don't know if the person did something to deserve this punishment, but regardless the "flatulent phantom" is true chaotic force in his or her neighborhood.

2. A mind-blowing birthday calculation

Meanwhile on Nextdoor... pic.twitter.com/JtPQzoObOS

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 12, 2018

Apparently the people in this neighborhood need a refresher on what "birthday" means because this post is an absolute mess.

Needless to say, this troll got the response they were looking for because people who commented were incredibly shook that the math (obviously) adds up. It's hard to tell who's doing the trolling here — the original poster or the commenters seemingly falling for it — but this is an A+ post.

3. The holiest of apologies

friend: "just be the bigger person and apologize!" me: "ok fine" me: pic.twitter.com/VH5Y5blHwI

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 10, 2018

This post is the literal epitome of "Sorry that you were offended" and it's incredible. Under the guise of religious expression, this person WENT IN on whoever reported him or her for comments.

Since the comments came "from a Christian heart," they were justified, right? But out of the kindness of this person's heart, they chose to forgive the offending person's "judgmental attitude." Where would we be without a little forgiveness every now and then? Even on Nextdoor, you'll find people doing the Lord's work. 

4. The stolen relic

⚔️ "Stolen Honor" ⚔️ pic.twitter.com/6SGXVkZCz1

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 8, 2018

This very dramatic and threatening post titled "Stolen Honor" rivals Liam Neeson's speech from Taken. Apparently someone had their precious sword stolen from them, and they decided threaten the thief via Nextdoor.

The poster claims that police joked about the entire situation, but to this user, this is no laughing matter. They're out here thirsting for revenge, and whoever took their stuff better watch out. To really cement the threat, they also included what looks to be a menacing sketch of the stolen blade.

Truly the mark of a renowned warrior, or maybe just a very silly troll.

5. The location of any and all Ted Cruz signs

"I understand they have a large supply of Ted Cruz signs down in hell." pic.twitter.com/3npd9WeSwS

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 7, 2018

Mitty was pretty straightforward with this one. When someone asked around for a Ted Cruz sign for her mother's lawn, Mitty straight up decimated her. Absolutely savage. We love a troll with a cause.

6. 'Tis the season for vandalism

"IN OCTOBER!!!!!" pic.twitter.com/7QhOeER2gf

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 4, 2018

People will always disagree on the appropriate time to put up Christmas decorations. In this case, some troll took the liberty of deciding on their neighbor's behalf. Accusing the holiday decorator of "VANDALISM!" the person who posted this complaint was clearly not in the mood for holiday cheer. 

7. Drunk artwork for sale

"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/0E0OLXNvxW

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 4, 2018

Heidi is just out here trying to make a living for herself by selling some "very rare" pieces made by drunk people during a wine and paint class. To be fair, one of the paintings was apparently made by a sober person. Does that make a difference? Probably not.

The price for each individual painting is obnoxiously high, but $400 for all three is a steal, IMO. Michael, who commented, "This is so stupid. No one is going to buy these," clearly doesn't know what good art is. Keep doing you, Heidi.

8. Just a moth looking for some light

pic.twitter.com/INYaA7mW12

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 2, 2018

You'll be happy to know that trolls on Nextdoor come in all shapes, sizes, and species. A moth named Moth McMoth just wants the neighborhood to step up its lighting game. It's a fair request. Someone please give this moth the proper lighting it needs.

9. "Helicopter mating season"

pic.twitter.com/D4lA0yvDWg

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 28, 2018

When a concerned neighbor posted on Nextdoor asking why a helicopter might be circling the area, a fellow neighbor offered the following explanation: "Helicopter mating season."

Apparently it's a very rare event. Some people are just so lucky. 

10. Call 911

pic.twitter.com/H1JPF2AZg2

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 28, 2018

Mill Park is windy, and this Nextdoor user is absolutely not having it. In an effort to recruit local neighbors to their cause, they've urged others reading the post to "call the police about this." Hopefully something can be done, because no one should have to deal with one of nature's biggest inconveniences.

11. New garbage protocol

"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/MwswixRsSX

— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 28, 2018

Nothing is better than a neighbor making sure everyone gets the memo. An excellent troll with good intentions.

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[ingravinoveritas]

Them: “You shouldn’t ship real people! It’s objectifying and gross! What would they think if they read the stuff you write?”

Me:

[ingravinoveritas]

fckedupnerd replied to your photoset  “People questioned it…people got weird about it…” (x)”

You “took David Tennant home”, did you? ���� naughty angel!

I mean...first we had “Crowley’s car is in Aziraphale’s garage,” and now we have “David is in Michael’s closet” (that was what came next in the livestream, after a comment made by Misha). And just the ENTIRE concept of him taking David home from the set of the show. He could have mentioned anything--one of Aziraphale’s books, his ring, any other fucking prop in existence--and he goes with David. I can just see Michael stuffing David into his suitcase (he’s skinny, so he folds up easily) and bringing him back to Wales after filming. Imagine the customs form: “0.5 kg. of fruit, 1 kg. of cheese, 76 kg. of David Tennant.” I should just face the fact that Michael is never going to stop throwing us fanfic plot ideas...