#because Jay’s involvement here is minimal

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

I’m finally halfway done with the first chapter of Cole Suffering Fic the name is a work in progress

[thestupidhelmet]

T9S, Part 3, Episode 8 and Part 3 Overview

Commentary and spoilers:

Kitty picked up smoking again? Just ... the T7S fan in me is shouting objections.

But! Now that I've seen this episode, I can talk about it and Part 3 as a whole.

Again, I watch T9S with two mindsets: 1) as the T7S fan who recognizes how far, and in what ways, the T9S universe diverges from T7S canon and 2) the T9S fan that thinks about the internal cohesion of the T9S universe, regardless that the show's canon conflicts with the canon of the T7S universe.

The final episode of Part 3 explores the conflict between Donna's parenting and Kitty's grandparenting. In an interesting reversal, Donna is the (re)strict(ive) one who worries about Leia having similar teen years to her own while Kitty believes Leia should have more freedom (in part to spite Donna).

Hyde's absence is strongly felt by me here. He would be the one to give Donna perspective, that they all turned out fine -- not despite their teen years but because of what they learned from them. He'd remind Donna that Leia needs the freedom to make mistakes and screw up while trusting that she has supportive family (which includes Uncle/Godfather Hyde) that will keep Leia from disaster.

I'm happy that Nikki and Nate reconciled and why (in this particular episode; could have lived without that succubus who took Betsy's name). Nate has some Kelso seasoning on his character, but he's also got some of Hyde's (the self-sacrificing to make the girl he loves happy). Ultimately, though, he's become more his own character as the series went on.

The writers made what seems to be a conscious decision to dissuade Leia/Gwen shippers and wrote Part 2 and Part 3 with this goal in mind. In Part 2 episode 1, Jay sings Leia a song using Jay/Leia and Gwen/Leia's fandom ship names, saying, "It's Jeia, not Geia," or something similar to that effect. This screams purposeful intent by the writers.

Combined with the fact Leia and Gwen barely have any development, storylines, or scenes of their own in Parts 2 and 3 -- just enough so the audience doesn't forget they're best friends -- the T9S writers sent a clear message to the show's viewers. Compare Leia and Gwen's minimal interactions to Jay and Nate's significant interactions and storylines in Parts 2 and 3.

Both Jay and Nate deal with romantic relationships, but their friendship is never neglected. On the contrary, their friendship has a major arc and continues to develop. Leia and Gwen's friendship is barely seen and somewhat heard.

In fact, Gwen is paired with Nikki more often in scenes, and their friendship gets more development. Not unwelcome, but Leia's attachment to Point Place and newfound happiness began with Gwen in Part 1. The writers killed their chemistry in Parts 2 and 3 by keeping them separate. And when they do have scenes together, with rare exception, they're about other people -- like Gwen's almost-boyfriend / boyfriend.

Ozzie becomes an actual character in Parts 2 and 3, not just a snarky commentator. The connection established between him and Jay and Nate in Part 2 is carried through to Part 3. But by Ozzie's own admission to Nikki, he's a selfish person. I don't think he's selfish, though. I think he's still too separated from the other characters. His life isn't enmeshed with theirs. He has circles with them and goes to some of the same places, and he tells Leia to give Jay a break in Part 2 -- but he continues to be on the outer edge of the group.

Fez in T7S, for comparison, has a strong bond with Hyde from the start of the series and gets involved with Jackie and Kelso's lives during season 1. His friendships with Eric and Donna are less developed, but Fez is enmeshed with the group as a whole from the start and becomes more so as the show continues.

I enjoyed Red and Kitty's relationship and their storylines in Part 3. The relationship itself felt organic. That being said, Kitty's character in Part 3 was not written or depicted enough as Kitty. DJR does a great job with what she's given script-wise. Her comedic timing is on point, but I felt like I was watching a fanfic version of Kitty where the writer doesn't quite understand the character or views her through a bizarre lens.

Mitch depicted and treated as a buffoon was definitely satisfying. Instead of him bullying Fez and Kelso, manipulating Donna, and temporarily convincing Eric's girlfriend, friends, and parents how wonderful he is while effing with Eric (and as a way to eff with him to try to take his place with his loved ones), everyone important sees through him now. He was always pathetic, but he doesn't get away with it on T9S.

Earl's guest appearance and interaction with Red was also a treat

The way the show deals with Tanya Roberts's passing is touching and funny and, I think, a worthy tribute.

Overall, I experienced a drop in writing quality from Part 2 to Part 3, despite that they were produced at the same time. Other people might have a different experience than mine, of course.

I do hope the series gets renewed. I'm very curious to see how the characters' journeys continue. I'm glad we got more insight about Gwen and Nikki's families. I'm sure the cliffhanger at the end will be resolved relatively swiftly, although Leia and Jay's particular conflict will take longer to resolve.

[sergeifyodorov]

introduction post

i'll never shut up. i hope you find peace

big on destiny + tragedy + first overall picks

i tag players first and last name, no hyphens, no diacritics. i tag teams for either my original content or if a post has the vibes of or specifically discusses a team. my 1634 tag is "get soulbonded about it!" and my art tag is "the cody art tag" . i don't trigger tag (although you can ask!) and there will be (minimal but present) content that discusses sa/hockey culture. be advised

feel free to request a tarot reading about the future of your team. as vague or specific as you like. it's fun and it might even be true

i am not here to get mad on the internet about minutiae or drama. i am here for fun. sometimes that fun involves getting mad about minutiae because i am a bit of a hater though

please be polite!

send in your gossip i'm NOSY

rip capfriendly. here is a link to a gdrive with their FAQ pages copied.

blue jays and sceptres enjoyer

leafs number 1 best in the world forever. other opinions subject to variation but generally pro lightning-stars-red wings-caps-flyers-hawks-cmd97. you can follow if you support any team(s) but i am telling you in advance my opinion of those teams may not be favourable

favourite hockey posts on this webbed site (noncomprehensive):

theory: [1] [4] [18] [30] [31] [36]

art: [2] [3] [6] [7] [9] [17] [19] [33] [34] [36] [37]

history: [10] [11] [13] [14] [15] [20] [25] [32]

web weaves: [5] [8] [18] [21] [22] [23] [24] [26] [27] [28] [29] [35] [38]

[smileymoth]

I have no idea what marble hornets is but the stuff your sharing looks super interesting and makes me wanna get into it. What is it exactly?

i'm letting @theslyvoid9 answer this because he's the reason i watched it and he's literally right next to me rn. so um. listen to him. he's a connoisseur and has been hounding me about this for months <3 . take it away boy

okay hiiii sly here! so um anyway sdkhufsk gonna keep this kinda spoiler free but in short Marble hornets is a 15 year old youtube horror series and one of the first video projects to use the slendermans character for a more detailed story. The full series ran for around 5 years and lasts roughly around 8-9 hours. The story was kinda hosted on two separate youtube channels, with the main marble hornets youtube channel posting the main entries and a side channel that posts more cryptic videos inbetween the actual entries for lore^tm reason. To watch both of the channels videos in order i suggest this playlist as a easy starting point! Link Storywise. it starts off with our main character Jay getting the tapes for an old project from a friend and looking through them a few years later and noticing stuff.....very wrong in some of the tapes and deciding he needs to investigate further and that leads him down a...rather not good path and drags several characters back into the trenches with him in the process. Overall the editing and sound design is the main scare factor in this series with jumpscares being kinda minimal. So if you like horror with a more building and suspenseful atmosphere then this is a must watch! The characters are lovely, the story is really interesting and the mystery in it is really cool to see unfold. Fair warning tho that the editing does involve a lot of glitching aka flashing at points and the story starts of a bit slow but it picks up in a very natural way! ANYWAY yeah....in short its a youtube horror series about slenderman and glitching videos and mental illness :D I personally really recommend it and if you have more questions idk hit me up on my blog! Anyway back to danny o/

YEAH I AGREE W HIM !!!!!!!! very good summary :thumbsup: (he's not holding a gun to my head to say this) i found the story very captivating, the characters are definitely unique in personality and i was just staring at their face shapes all the time....... it hurts you a lot btw the story i mean it hurts SOOO much . watch it. NJEOW if you like angst and pain and interesting video editing and convincing acting

[theineated]

87% and since you told me that to ask about everyone, I had to list every name I knew, here goes xD

B, Baxter, Nova, Mel, Jay, Noah, Asta, Ember, Oswald, Enzo, Kory, A, C, Aurora, Luna, Kuu, Hayden, Tana, Barloc, Bea, Shawn, and as an optional bonus, Dusk

87%. Does your charactee have a natural talent for something? What is that talent?

"I can't have more than 20 ruinverse ocs", I said, "it'll be fine if you ask about everyone", I said.

B: for physical activity. Fighting, climbing, anything that involves gross motor skills

Baxter: for figuring out how things work. Give him a car engine and he'd deduce how combustion can be used for locomotion

Nova: for bringing people together. A natural leader through empathy

Mel: for music. She has perfect pitch and is a child prodigy with her instrument

Jay: for figuring out how people and their relationships work, which makes her great at detectivework

Noah: for language and writing. He developed his own shorthand when he was still a kid

Asta: she doesn't have a specific natural talent, but knows how to work hard towards her goals

Ember: for flexibility, she's made of rubber

Oswald: for transmitting emotions through music. He's a sensitive man who knows how to attune the strings of his instrument to his heart

Enzo: for on-the-spot quick decisions. He'd go far with it if he didn't use most of his talent on witty remarks that often get him in trouble and getting out of said trouble

Kory: for defending what is right. She will follow her morals until the end for better or worse

A: for pharmacy.

C: for people-pleasing. Most of the times it backfires

Aurora: for making stuff work with minimal resources. She uses it to replicate Ancient technology

Luna: for colour theory and colour matching. She is a great landscape painter

Kuu: for negotiation. He would be a great conman if he didn't have strong morals

Hayden: for fighting strategy. He does not like to let others know of it because he's afraid of being only wanted for and defined by his strategic value

Tana: for fast-talking. She'd be a great scammer if the fighter career doesn't work for her

Barloc: for knowing what everyone is up to. He knows the secrets of any group he goes near to

Bea: for understanding animal needs.

Shawn: for fighting strategy. They're Hayden's uncle and the reason why Hayden is afraid he'll get used because they carry it as their only sign of identity

Dusk: for understanding humans. She's Enzo's animal partner and mount lol

[caralara]

Hello! It's obvious that Eleanor and the sisters aren't friends ie not posting for each other's brithdays, zero interaction - was there ever a time when they appeared closer or at least made more effort?

Hi anon!!! Ooooh spicy subject!

Eleanor used to be pretty close with most of the Tomlinson sisters, especially the younger ones, and she was even one of Jay’s bridesmaids! (I do believe Jay genuinely liked her)

So, there’s this really great post about Lottie’s 16th birthday (week) that she spent with the boys on tour, and mostly hung out with Eleanor and Sophia.

Basically, before this sixteenth birthday, Lottie was all over Eleanor, it looked like she kinda admired her bc she was so professional with how she dealt with fans / was older / an influencer on Instagram. So Lottie seemed to think she was really cool, talk about her and post about her all the while Eleanor didn’t treat her the best but more like the annoying little friend. She cut her out of photos or didn’t even include her in the first place even though she was there. It seems to have been quite an obvious thing bc people talked about it back then.

Up until then Lottie also was pretty active on social media putting Larries in their spot, responding harshly and calling them delusional, and insisting on Louis being straight and defending Eleanor.

But after that week, if I’m not mistaken, she kind of… got quiet about it. And distanced herself from Eleanor, and instead hung out with Gemma who was a lot nicer to and about her.

So I guess what I’m theorising here is, that maybe, maybe Lottie kind of got fed up with Eleanor and was quite disappointed after that birthday week Fiasko, maybe she called out Louis for having an ass as a girlfriend, and maybe, maybe she put two and two together because Louis couldn’t lie to her point blank, or maybe she saw something she wasn’t supposed to see.

In my opinion, I don’t think a lot of people knew about it back then. I think obviously Jay and Anne knew, but I do think they sort of kept it from the sisters. It’s just too easy for them to slip up when they’re that young and have access to social media - would also explain why Eleanor was so involved in the extended family. Like, where do you draw the line? The more people know about a secret, the more likely it is to get out. I can very well see that Eleanor was a beard not just for the public, but also for extended family and friends. I don’t think many people knew. But with 16, you’re kind of a lot more responsible than you are with 13/14, a year or two makes a huge difference at that age. So yeah, Eleanor used to be pretty close with them, but after that week it cooled down considerably.

She still sometimes pops up with the younger twins (might be the same issue here??) but yeah, Elounor 2.0 really is minimal effort from all sides lmao

[gregorygerwitz]

lost and found chapter 4/8

Summary: When a case leads to a string of misunderstandings that accumulate into Mouse turning up missing, it’s up to the Intelligence Unit and the rest of the 21st District to get him back. But they’re up against a ransom they have no way of paying, the only people who could help being uncooperative, and a ticking clock.

Warnings: implied/referenced homophobia, kidnapping, referenced past drug addiction, generally bad parenting feat. Thelma Gerwitz

Words: 31,407 (so far)

Mouse + team with emphasis on Mouse + Kim + Trudy (affectionately “the Platt fam”), some mentions of one-sided Moustead pining, background OCs

Sneak Peek:

"What do you mean you can't trace where they posted from?"

"Kind of what it says on the tin, Jay. If they're using some kind of VPN, it's good enough to trick the site, which means I can't do anything to figure out where they're actually at. Because I highly doubt they're actually posting this from San Diego." Adam shook his head, the instagram profile still pulled up on his screen even if the story itself had been temporarily minimized. "They're giving us the runaround on purpose. Mouse could probably figure this out, but I'm... I'm way out of my depth here, man..."

Jay bit his tongue to keep from speaking too quickly, making himself think about what he was going to say first. Getting worked up wouldn't solve anything, and it certainly wouldn't bring Mouse back in one piece. For the time being, he had to be calm, and do his job. "Right, okay... Well... they have his phone, right? That's how they got access to the account? We should set up alerts. If there's so much as a tweet, we need to know about it."

"And what are we going to do until then? Just sit around and wait? That's insane."

"No." They all turned at the same time, Voight's own voice hard and as controlled as Jay wished he could make his own. It was the tone he used to give orders, even during cases that didn't involve one of their own. "Keep looking for people with motive. Check those old contacts, look into his followers on social media. We don't stop doing our jobs just because we get one piece of evidence. Look for more, so that we can find him and bring him home."

[ read the rest on ao3 ] [ or start from chapter 1 ]

[haechanhues]

pairing : sunoo x reader 

genre : angst....there’s fluff too 

warnings : uhm heartbroken. a lil guilt and all those great feelings. 

summary : a friendship was built on this relationship and you want it to be worth it. // if this were fiction, he’d have hanahaki

words : 3.1k words 

Sunoo weaves his fingers through his newly blond streaks as he reaches for you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulder so his hand hangs off of your body. Without much thought your hand interlocks with his and you smile warmly at him. The cool metal rings he wears on his three middle fingers begin to warm at your touch. With a smirk, he kisses at the crown on top of your head and you rest your head onto his shoulder. 

With a coffee cup in one hand and an energy drink in the other, Jay grimaces at the public display of your relationship in front of him, “You guys are gross.” 

“Say that when you don’t have that in your hand,” Heeseung remarks as he takes in your slight hesitancy to involve yourself in their teasing. The other five boys laugh as Jay flicks his middle finger up towards Heeseung in response. 

You can’t help but watch with a longing smile on your face. People had their talents and for you, making friends definitely wasn’t one of them. Even being able to communicate with your brother, Taehyun, was hard. He had a solid group of friends that were glued to the hip. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Sunoo you don’t think you’d had ever built a bridge to befriend any of the boys that had become such important people in your life. 

Jake had been the one to approach you first, much to Heeseung’s chagrin. He had smiled at you with his big brown eyes and rounded features. Your body naturally turning to him and feeling comfortable when he was around. Luckily for you, that sentiment never dried out. He was always someone willing to lend a helping hand and liked to converse with anyone willing to listen (Which really wasn’t hard when you saw how pretty he was). 

Jay on the other hand was quite similar. He liked talking to others and to you there was no exception. Jay didn’t really mind if you weren’t listening though. He just had a lot on his mind. He was a talkative person and for most of your conversations, he led them. He was passionate and it was always fun learning about who he was as a person and what fuelled his fire rant of the day. 

Jungwon was a boy you never really got to figure out all the way. He always seemed to surprise you at every turn. Whenever you were sad, he’d silently console you without bringing unwanted or unnecessary attention to your fluctuating emotions. He’d give your hand a squeeze or sit beside you so your arms would be touching. He’d be the one to wipe at your tears and pinch at your cheeks. He’d always use touch as a way to show his friendship. In return, you learnt to use touch to demonstrate your love and how thankful you were. 

Sunghoon was a shy person in public but loud with his friends. He had been in a couple of your classes and when Sunoo introduced you both he decided you were one of them. He was awkward with you at first, as expected. But as he walked with you to classes everyday and learnt that it was okay to poke fun at you or to tease you, the two of you started to bond. You bonded quickly with how annoying the chairs were and how red pen isn’t the colour you’d choose for if you were a teacher. 

Niki, however, took a while to warm up to you as you did with him. It wasn’t easy striking up a conversation with him or discovering common interests like you did with the other boys but you gradually got there. In order to become closer as friends, you opted to instead visit parks, bowling alleys and cinemas to fill up the lack of common interests with adventures and little anecdotes to fondly remember each other by. He became a boy you were so fond of seeing and he thought the same of you. 

Heeseung had made small talk with you at first. You kept it minimal in case you were to say something insulting, horrible or unfunny. You stumbled a bit of the time but your voice began to get excited when you started finding common interests and confessed your plans for the future. He engaged with you just as well. But, the open day university trip had truly solidified your friendship. You shared everything you ate and messaged Sunoo about how your friend date was going. It was a great day and definitely one you’d remember for the rest of your life. 

Sunoo though, Sunoo was a special one. Before Jake had approached you and before the rest of the boys befriended you, there was Sunoo. In a way, Sunoo had brought colour into your life and showed you the world with linked arms. He made you take photos and encouraged you to write longer day entries in your journal. He liked watching you take the world in with those eyes of yours, drinking in everything around them. Your favourite thing was the way Sunoo taught you. He didn’t judge or make comments about your lack of almost everything. He was always positive and always on everyone’s side. 

People started to talk about the two of you. You weren’t friends because friends don’t look at each other like that. People even said it was mutual. Sunoo looked at you in the same way you did him. People were convinced that you liked him and you believed it. You told him whilst holding hands. He smiled and said, ‘I do too.’ 

Yet, despite it all. If this were fiction, he’d have hanahaki. 

Your heart doesn’t thrum at your chest with an incessant need to be with him in a romantic way. Your hands don’t get sweaty and you’re certain what you feel for him isn’t the type of way people are convinced you feel for him. But you want him to be happy. You want this relationship to be worth it. To be worth the risk of jeopardising your friendship with not only Sunoo but the rest of the boys as well. You want to keep Sunoo in your life. 

But it hurts. 

To have him falling deeper and deeper whilst you remain stagnant and unmoving in your affections. 

You scratch at the fabric at your wrist and do your best to look the part. In your acting, you miss the way Heeseung and Jungwon glance at you from the corner of their eyes. 

The whole day consists of it all. Guilt holds your hand throughout the day and pulls at your vulnerabilities. 

Niki asks if you want to go for pizza. You don’t really feel all that hungry but you agree anyway. The other boys say they will meet you after their other commitments. As Sunoo leaves to meet up with Jaebeom, a friend from another school, he wraps his arms around you in a gentle hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead and a wave goodbye. 

It is through long cheesy slices of pizza, fat chugs of chocolate milkshake and Niki going to the bathroom that you find your head in your hands, agonising over what you should do. 

You bring out your phone and search for ways to break it off. 3,920,000,000 possible search results showed and yet you weren’t convinced by a single one of them. Not one knew that you were you and Sunoo was Sunoo. 

You rack the cogs of your brain to find a solution and come up with nothing. Your heart cracks with every lack of answer. 

The rest of the boys filter into the pizza shop and every happy face you see seems to drain you and rid you of distraction. 

Heeseung's eyes are lined with worry as he takes in your hunched shoulders and lackluster smile. Despite the way you engage in conversations and ruffle Jungwon’s hair, you’re not really here. You’re stuck in your own head. 

You soldier through the afternoon like a true trooper, making sure to giggle and commit yourself to appear normal. At times, Heeseung truly believed you. 

But, he just couldn’t shake the feeling that you were less than alright. 

You collected your things, hugging each of the boys as tight as you could. You pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Sunoo’s mouth. 

“Want me to walk you home?” Sunoo offered. 

You smiled a little and nodded in reply. He grinned and held out his arm for you to link your arms with. The sky cracked open and rain trickled down the collar of your shirt. But you continued to walk down the pavement with Sunoo by your side. 

As you reached your house, you had an overwhelming need to be inside. You felt like a drenched rat and the fabric of Sunoo’s arm was starting to soak straight through. He brushed back his wet hair in a grimace. 

‘Get inside,’ Sunoo jerked his head to your front door, smiling at you so fondly your head breaks a little more. 

You sighed, frozen in place. You nibbled at your lip and mauled over whether or not you’d bring up your worries. 

You were just so tired of feeling this way. 

“What’s wrong?” Sunoo asked with a raised brow. A dormant feeling was in his chest and it scared him to the core. 

‘Do you need a towel? Or anything? You’re gonna be cold,” You murmured, squeezing his arms and shoulders. Anchoring yourself. 

“Y/N,” His eyes narrowed at your attempt to dodge his questions. The dormant feeling in his gut was gradually increasing as you mulled over your words. 

‘Uh-nothing sounds right,” You let out a fake laugh, “I just- I don’t want you to hate me-” 

Sunoo winced at the direction that this day was going but he felt almost offended, “I could never hate you. Y/N, I-” 

He stopped at the sight of your flinch. 

“I just- I’m not,” You growled at your lack of your ability to find the perfect sentence. Though, you could bet that there wasn’t any. You closed your eyes and with a frustrated determination and overwhelming guilt, “I’m not happy, Sunoo.” 

It was so quiet. 

Sunoo’s heart dropped, “Not happy?” 

“I’m happy I get to spend time with you and see you everyday. You make me happy. But it’s just- the relationship doesn’t make me happy,” You rambled to soothe over the chaos of emotions that have escaped you. 

He paused and nodded, scratching the top of his eyebrow. 

Yet, he didn’t really move or talk. He just stood there.  

You wanted him to say something. Anything. 

Sunoo opened his mouth in desperation to cover the silence, and yet, nothing came out of his mouth. Nothing. Instead tears were seeping into his eyes and it had gotten slightly hard to breathe. 

“Understood, ahh I guess, friends then?” Sunoo smiled the first fake smile you had ever seen him wear around you, “I guess I’ll just get out of your hair. Get inside-it’s cold and raining.” 

He looks down, and the rain trickles from his hair and you have the impulse to smooth it over. But you don’t move a single muscle. 

You don’t know if you should do that anymore. 

He nods at you, wiping at his face once before leaving you at your doorstep. Sunoo zooms past the streetlights you both previously passed, ignoring your shouts of concern. 

Before, you had a boyfriend. 

Now, you didn’t. 

You had caused it. 

You watch out in the rain, wondering if you even deserved to walk back into your home to take a warm shower and to comfort yourself by the warm blankets. 

You felt empty 

Just like that...your relationship was over. 

You enter the house and everything feels bland. Everything tastes like the sour aftertaste of possibly ruining the best thing you’ve ever had. Like a plug being yanked from the bath. 

Your brother's door is open and his friends are over. They’re all laughing and bickering. You bite your lip as you pass his door, not wanting to bring attention to yourself so you can cry in your room in peace. 

‘Hey Y/N!’ Beomgyu spots you. 

You turn to him and send him a warm but brittle smile, hoping that your tears have disappeared at the sight of Beomgyu's face. 

He pauses at your expression, before smiling in a subtle attempt to comfort you. Taehyun goes to turn around but you leave to avoid your brother’s intuition. 

Beomgy’s eyes don’t leave the doorway for a while before pulling Taehyun’s attention towards the TV. 

Taehyun finds you in the dead of the night, when the boys have settled into their spots. Beomgyu had pulled him aside earlier, ‘I think you should check on your sister.’ 

It didn’t take much to convince him. You hadn’t come downstairs since you had come home and the shower didn’t run at all.  

Your light isn’t on and your curtains aren’t drawn. Your brother purses his lips at the sight of your fetal position on the bed. 

He slides in beside you, pulling the blankets up around your body. He leans into your back and furrows his eyebrows at the small shakes you’re starting to make. 

Taehyun directs you to look at him, your eyes are the most miserable he’s ever seen and are welled up with gluggy tears. 

What to do? 

Your eyes squeeze shut and instead focus on your brother’s breathing and the warmth of his embrace. 

‘I might not have friends,’ You whimper into his chest. 

He frowns as he attempts to hear you better asking you to repeat. 

‘I think I might lose my friends’ You blubber. 

‘You’re not going to lose your friends,’ Taehyun scoffs silently, rubbing your back, ‘Sunoo will kick anybody’s ass if they even consider it.’ 

‘But that’s exactly the reason why.’ 

As you say it, you feel regret. The pain is like nothing else you’ve ever felt. It sinks down into your left chest area and it sinks from the weight of it. 

That regret, worry and heartbreak of it all makes you bedridden for three days. Taehyun had taken the day off school to make sure you were okay and Beomgyu had even made an appearance after school. 

After the third day, Taehyun’s conscience caught up with him and he went to fulfill his studies. Everyone else thought you were sick at home with the flu. But in the hallways as Taehyun catches Heeseung’s eye, he realises that not everyone was so convinced. 

The bell rings at exactly four in the afternoon. Nobody is at home but you. The regret has clung itself onto the host (you) but the small layering of guilt causes you to slowly make your way down to the front door. 

You rub at your eyes and brush back your hair with your fingers to make yourself look at least a little bit presentable. 

The bell rings again as you go to pull the door open, greeted by two people at your door. 

Heeseung and Jungwon look at you with their big eyes filled with worry. Heeseung sighs in relief before pulling you into a hug. 

‘You’re an idiot,’ Heeseung mumbles before kissing the top of your head. You swallow as you twist your grip into his clothes and anchor yourself to him, crying as much as you wanted. 

Jungwon lays a supportive hand on the back of your neck, pulling at the strands of loose hair on your clothes that are in dire need of a wash. 

‘We’ll always be here for you, you stupid stupid girl,’ Heeseung curses at you whilst still holding you close, ‘You need to tell us these things.’ 

‘And that stupid boy too,’ Heeseung adds. 

‘What do you mean?’ You ask with a furrow in your eyebrows. 

‘Taehyun came up to me and gave me the details of your breakup. Everything you should’ve told me or one of the other boys. But mostly me,’ Heeseung says, ‘Not only you, but Sunoo too. The other boys are over at his, looking after him.’ 

‘Why are you two here?’ 

‘You’re our friend, Y/N,’ Jungwon reminded you, pulling you in for a little hug as well, ‘And so is Sunoo.’ 

‘Even after all I’ve done….I’ve lost Sunoo as well,’ You blubber as you grip onto Jungwon’s hand.

‘That’s all shit. You haven’t lost anyone. We’re still your friends,’ Jungwon states, holding eye contact, ‘Sunoo is still in your life. Granted, he may need a few tries but he’s still important to you and you’re still important to him.’ 

With a bitten raw lip you nodded, getting tired of all the nagging you’ve received in the past few days over your insecurities. 

It wasn’t the end of it though. 

Because that night Niki had biked to your house, demanding to have a sleepover. He was banished to the couch by your brother and his friends but still, he didn’t seem to overly mind you on a mattress beside him. 

Jake and Jay had barrelled in that week during lunch period the next day. They forced you to come out and eat with them. Jay had made sure you showered and washed the clothes you were wearing. 

Sunghoon was busy doing his assignments but he had emailed you every hour and Facetimed you. However, that didn’t last very long because then you had started doubting that he was studying much. Even though you had become the nagger, you didn’t mind it too much. 

They gave you updates. 

Sunghoon had just passed his assignments (C’s get degrees) and had everyone promise that everyone would get pork belly and lamb skewers with him. 

Jay attempted to ask out a girl, who unfortunately (Niki didn’t sound so down about it - with the way he was giggling and all) turned him down. He then proceeded to find she romantically preferred the woman kind of human being. 

Jake made the mistake of paying for Niki’s bubble tea. Which in turn, Niki found as permission to try every single available flavour of bubble tea at the restaurant. 

Sunoo was doing okay. Sunoo wanted to see how you were doing. He wanted to see when he would see you at school. 

With that courage, you went to school with a tight grip on your bag. Jungwon was the only one to greet you in the hallway before you made eye contact with Sunoo. You froze in your spot but he had, in turn, rolled his eyes at you. 

He stood beside you, looking very handsome. His eyes were still a bit sad but he was trying. You tried right back and smiled weakly at him. 

He pursed his lips in a fake attempt at being mad, before offering his arm towards you. 

That day we linked arms just as you always did. 

But from now on, you were just friends. 

A/N : yay! i finished my assignments!!! i wrote this awhile ago but never finished it or anything. it’s been what feels like a long time......

[wrestlingisfake]

I'm still catching up on the whole Big Swole/Tony Khan thing. (If you are too, I recommend this weekend's Grapsody podcast.) But here's what I gotta say about improving diversity in a pro wrestling roster.

It's never going to be enough to just have members of a marginalized group on the show. You have to push some of them too. Not all of them, of course, and not simply for being members of a marginalized group, because that would feel artificial and phony. But you also can't just recruit them and then wait and see if any of them get over on their own.

Now, that goes against a deeply-ingrained mindset in pro wrestling that wrestlers has to earn their spots through personal improvement of their craft. Fans and insiders alike want to believe pro wrestling is (or should be) a meritocracy--if not in winning real contests, then at least in earning the starring roles. We celebrate the performers who appear to "do the work" to get where they are, and complain about performers who seem to benefit from unearned shortcuts. And since that controversy often involves white men (e.g., "Daniel Bryan is too good to be jobbing to the Miz"), we can tell ourselves this mentality is totally fair, and has nothing to do with diversity or representation.

As such, there is resistance to the idea that pro wrestling can just make more Black main-eventers at will, because it's fake and the promoters can put the championships on anybody they want. I myself have resisted that idea. I'd prefer to see Black wrestlers getting a "rise to the top" saga like Bret Hart, as opposed to winning a raffle like Ron Simmons or cashing in a briefcase like Big E. AEW cannot suddenly put the world title on Scorpio Sky and expect it to mean as much as the three-year build for Hangman Page. However, the Page storyline is a perfect demonstration that you can do that sort of push with just about anybody.

There was no reason to think, when AEW launched, that Hangman had to be a world champion. He didn't come in with the cachet of Chris Jericho, Jon Moxley, or Kenny Omega. But they knew they had to make a guy, so they picked him. I don't mean to minimize Page's part in making the push work, because once they handed him the ball he still had to run with it, and if he had fumbled they would have gone with someone else. The point, though, is that they took a chance on him to become more than he had appeared to be. You can take that exact same chance with someone that isn't a white man.

Ideally a promotion like AEW should have several up-and-coming wrestlers in "sagas" like Hangman's. Not all of them will culminate in a world title run, but you keep several key names in play in case your blue chipper flops, or a dark horse becomes a breakout hit. This is where you want your representation to be--not in squash matches on Elevation, but in key long-term storylines setting up the new main characters on the show. And this is where AEW struggles, with diversity in general and Black representation in particular.

The only excuse AEW has for this is that many of their Black wrestlers are "not ready" to be prominently featured on Dynamite and Rampage, whereas they've got a glut of white men who've had tons of experience on the big stage. I bought that when Private Party was just starting out, but it's a lot harder to swallow now that AEW has got Lio Rush, Lee Moriarty, and Jay Lethal, and none of them are doing anything. Stuff like that can't change if your mentality is to just push the people who are "all elite" enough.

[sibillascribbles08]

If you could take creative control of ninjago what would you change

Christ...

WELL

Actually no idk where to start with this there’s so much anon there’S SO M U C H I guess I’ll do a run of MINIMAL changes tho (for as long as I can)

I don’t think I have to change much in the first two seasons, thankfully, since the writers actually sat down to think about what they were writing at the time but g o d did it go to hell afterwards

Season 3 - This Zane focused season is going to be ZANE FOCUSED DAMN IT. We’re focusing on his loss over his Father, having salt rubbed in the wound by having his father’s work turned into an evil army, and being faced with the fact he’s obsolete compared to it all. He keeps trying to stack up numbers to win, recalculate things, and it’s why his line at the ending ACTUALLY has impact. The thing that sets him apart from the nindroids, his ability to love, is what allows him to defeat the Overlord.

Jay, Cole and Nya love triangle is DESTROYED. Pixal, Zane and Cole is the new love triangle and later OT3

Season 4 - The explanation for the other EMs being around is far less stupid. Garmadon establishes that oh yeah all of your parents had elemental powers and even talks about a few of them because holy SHIT. Cole mentions his mom because he should have done that a g e s ago. Is this supposed to be a Kai season doesn’t feel like it. Open the season with better explanations of why the ninja split. Emphasis the fact that Kai blames himself for what happened to Zane, and continues to do so throughout the season. Add that to why he’s so desperate to save Skylor from her dad (not willing to lose someone else). We still lose Garmadon, Kai and Lloyd have a talk at the end of the season. Also ZANE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO GET PIXAL A NEW BODY WTHHH????

Season 5 - Idk this season was pretty good over all I think. A bit better lore established into the cloud kingdom, hints that they don’t actually control fate they just think they do. Explain where the FUCK NIMBUS CAME FROM?? Water can still beat up ghosts but idk feel like there should be some other factors involved, some magic. Kai and Zane figure out they can make water a LOT sooner. Also why doesn’t Kai just set the preeminent’s house armor on fire??? Should have. OH I did forget since this season is supposed to be for NYA GETTING HER WATER ELEMENT how about she actually GO WITH THE NINJA AND DO SOME SHIT SOMETIMES??? I don’t mind her training, specially Ronin helping her but like??? Wtf why not have her ENGAGE, idiots.

Season 6 - I’m the weirdo who actually likes season 6 but that doesn’t mean it’s not without its issues. I don’t mind Jay wondering about where he stands with Nya but his behavior throughout the season has to stay consistent. When he agrees with Nya he needs to let it go he needs to LET IT GO. IT LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN UNTIL THE LIGHTHOUSE. He also needs to linger more on his birth father (and besides he should have suspected he’s adopted since season 4 cause he knows neither of his parents had lightning powers). Zane doesn’t ignore Pixal’s warning about Nadakhan but if she’s off somewhere else idk how she gets threatened I’m sure Nadakhan could figure it out. OH and time can still reset and stuff idc but like, Jay and Nya need to talk about it and they need to GO BACK FOR ECHO. EVEN IF THEY DON’T FIND HIM THERE.

Day of the Departed - just wish it was longer tbh, but major changes: Why do the ninja not seem to care that cole is FADING OUT OF EXISTENCE and Lou should be a lot more worried about his son.

Season 7 - I mean, it’s mostly a trash fire, but I think it’d be a lot more enjoyable if they actually had good sibling dynamics going on. Acronix following his brother because he always has, but starts questioning their plans as things go. At first their relationship is much better, which is why they best Kai and Nya, but by the end that flips over. Actually have Kai and Nya having an ISSUE. Kai thinks their parents could have been traitors, Nya seemingly doesn’t care because she’s so wrapped up with her samurai x stuff being stolen. They end up fighting and don’t make up until the boiling sea. ALSO GIVE RAY AND MAYA A BETTER FUCKING EXCUSE FOR BEING GONE THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING SHANKED KRUX WHEN HIS BACK WAS TURNED GET OUT OF HERE HE HAD NO LEVERAGE.

Also Machia isn’t dead okay she’s just in the past she WILL COME BACK

Seasons 8 and 9 I’d say are pretty solid honestly? My minor changes: Garmadon isn’t Garmadon he’s a fucking fake get out of here with that shit THE REAL GARMADON WOULD NEVER. We actually learn where Mr. E came from I don’t even care if it’s just Harumi and UV talking about how they found him in a scrap heap and got him fixed just give me something. Stop treating Dareth like SHIT. Ronin and The Commissioner plan a jail break long before they’re let out in season 9. Teen Wu is a lot less... air headed. Like seriously he seems to have more logic when he’s a child it doesn’t add up. I’m not saying he has to remember everything but wth?? Oh, and Mistaké isn’t dead fuck you.

Season 10 - ............................................ delete it and start over. Literally, hate all of it, get it out of here. Four episodes for villains you built up like FUCK in the last two seasons??? All of them fucking as big as people???????? cowardly, weak, uninspired, I don’t want it I’m just going to have to redo this whole gd season. A) Oni leader is a QUEEN now and she can be up to 30 feet tall no I do not give a FUCK B) Fake ass Garmadon is revealed to be a different oni entirely he was an agent for the queen the whole time but never finished his mission C) She can still paralyze a bunch of people but man Lloyd you’re going to need more than a shiny tornado to fight her off. D) In fact you need to summon your other great grandma so the two of them can get over their divorce spat. E) Where’s the mask of vengeance bring that back into play. F) Mistaké shows back up to help. I suppose plot wise it can?? Mostly run the same but I think they’re going to have to run much farther than the city with how fast she spreads her reach. Also she’s weak for Lloyd because he’s the smol great grandson and he has to use that to his advantage to slow her down. Mistaké makes something that can unparalyze people and they get some of their allies back before the finale thank god. Faith isn’t just in a coma the whole GD time.

Season 11 - Fire half? Good. I need a much better reason why the ninja go to the never realm tho because wow did they just make everyone out of character in that last episode. The ninja have no reason to just ignore Wu and shove him out like that. Wu has no reason to NOT NOTICE LLOYD IS BREAKING INTO HIS ROOM WHEN HE WAS KICKING THE NINJAS ASSES IN THE FIRST EPISODE. Ice half?? ... h Yeah no they should have known Zane was the emperor from the start LMAO. Or at least suspected the possibility. The decades of time passing??? Deleted. Maybe give it a year. Idk why it’s just Lloyd snapping Zane out if why aren’t the other ninja involved like p l e a s e. Also kill Vex with an ice spike, thanks.

Season 12 - Over all I liked what this season had going but there... should have been more. And that ending felt so crunched together like damn... Unagami was a p cool villain at least BUT idk, despite all the focus on the plot so much of it didn’t feel tangible enough. Even if we’re going to focus more on the video game world I want to see more of what these NPCs are up to. Should have tossed in a couple of filler episodes. Also can someone just kill the Mechanic too SMH (and they should have tied Wu up in something sturdier how did he not just break out of that WHATEVER)

Suppose I’ll stop there I haven’t season season 13 yet.

Oh, the timeline itself needs some fucking work too. At least establish Wu and Garmadon’s sudden aging. At least establish how old Zane is (I’d believe he was built 40 years ago but I find it hard to believe he was active for all of it). Establish that yeah the FSM really did basically fuck off like idk 14 years ago and idk why the show acts like it was so long ago it couldn’t have been based on the other facts we know have Wu learn that his dad is a bitch ass motherfucker and he needs to ditch.

Honestly there’s more but like................. this is the simple version

[purplesurveys]

812

Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? I'm always civil with everyone, and when I get mad at someone I make sure it’s because they really fucked up on a task, and not just because I don’t like their personality or whatever. I’ve always just felt like butting heads with someone is only going to affect my work, so I try not to clash with people. If I don’t like someone for any reason, I usually just minimize my interactions with them. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? ...Does a classmate count? I started crushing on Gab back in high school lol. Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? ^ Same question. Do you have any thoughts on a 14-year age-gap? Not a fan. Age gaps in general scare me away, though I think it’s because I’ve only been with someone of the same age. What is the game you're currently playing most often on your phone? Bitlife. It’s like a simpler Sims.

What is your go-to Starbucks order? MAN OH MAN does this question make me miss coffee shops. I get a grande iced caramel macchiato. I get it as is because having so many customization options just makes me overwhelmed. Do you have any friends that you're drifting apart from? I don’t think so. We all just have to be apart right now but once we can see each other again, I’m 110% sure it’ll only be like we hadn’t seen each other in a day. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? I think all my friends aren’t mentally okay to some extent. It’s pretty common in our age group. What phone do you have? iPhone 8. What is the last thing you ordered for delivery? Andrew and I had Chinese food delivered to Skywalk after a particularly brutal verbal beatdown from our thesis adviser who had told us to revise big chunks of our thesis ASAP. I was super stressed so I allowed myself to splurge on the Hong Kong noodles I really liked and I specifically asked for three fucking packets of peanut sauce to drown my noodles in lmao. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? It’s my preferred way of getting a pet. Adopt and don’t shop, plz. What's your favorite chain restaurant? YABUUUUUUUU. If I reach the point where I only had ₱400 left to my name, I’d still most likely spend it on their katsu.  Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? No...well, Gabie is part Turkish, so kinda? She’s still mostly Filipino though. Have you ever read any of your idol’s books/autobiographies? Out of all the people I fangirl over, only AJ has produced an autobiography and yes, I have her book. Oh I have One Direction’s first book too, but I haven’t been able to buy the next ones that came out. Do you own any succulents? Nope. Can’t take care of plants to save my life. When was the last time you climbed a tree? I’ve never done that, all the trees here have red ants. :/ If you have any pets, how would you describe their personalities? Kimi’s an absolute diva and chooses to follow, listen to, and be sweet with only me. He’ll be super nice when he’s asking for food, but will be quick to stop minding you completely once he’s gotten enough food from you. We give him a pass since he’s a senior dog now, but he’s definitely the snobby type hahaha. What is your phone's background? My home screen is of Hayley Williams; my lock screen is of Beyoncé and Jay-Z on stage. Who played at the last concert you went to? Paramore. Who is playing at the next concert you're attending? I’m really fucking hoping it’s going to be Beyoncé because she’s the only artist left I have yet to see lmao but if not, I’m most likely going to see Paramore again. What's your favorite amusement park ride? I like riding the octopus, but only the one in my high school’s fair. What's your favorite deep-fried food item? Corndogs, for sure. Why were you last pulled over? I got confused with the road rules in Alabang and ended up stopping at a red light albeit over a pedestrian lane. Stilllllll pissed about that instance to this day and I’ve never gotten over how rude the traffic enforcer was towards me. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I don’t think so, we don’t have a lot of lakes here to begin with. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Take a shower, if I understood this question correctly. Canoeing or kayaking? I kayaked in Palawan when we were there and it was so peaceful and felt like absolute heaven. I’d relive that experience over and over again. What's your favorite lake? Like I said, we don’t really have a lot of lakes here. I don’t even know enough to pick a favorite. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? Sure, why not. Do you have a drone? I don’t. I’m not interested in having one. Do you have a smart watch? Nope. I’d love one but tbh I end up losing every watch I ever try to wear, so buying one would be pointless. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? It’s a bar rather than a restaurant, but Exile was such a fun place to be in. I still don’t understand why they had to close down so suddenly when sooooo many college kids were going there every single day. It’s since been replaced by this random shrimp restaurant, though I think that already closed too since no one ever went there because EVERYONE PREFERS EXILE. It was a very important part of my early college years and it helped me get out from my slump, so I’ll always be grateful that it was around at some point. What do you order from there? I don’t even remember anymore, it shut down two or three years ago. I’ll see if their menu is still up on Zomato... andddd it’s not. It’s like it never existed, sigh. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Cookies and cream. They jack up the prices for Ben & Jerry’s here like CRAZY so even though I’ve wanted to try so many of their flavors, I’ve never gotten to try it. I’m not paying ₱500-₱600 for ice cream. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? Yes, I have a couple of shirts from this local business called Artwork. Their employees, who are also artists, produce original designs on t-shirts, bags, pins, shoes, wallets, etc. every week so every time I visit the store, the selection is almost always completely brand new. What is your prettiest friend's first name? Gabriela, hehe. Who is your favorite comedian? Not really into comedians. I like Andy Samberg’s work, but mostly only for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. What's your favorite Netflix series? Queer Eye or Black Mirror, if we’re talking about original Netflix series. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I regularly tuned in to a morning radio program when I’d drive to school before quarantine started, but that’s it. Do you know anyone who's had their own podcast? Nope, but I have friends and acquaintances who have released other stuff, like vlogs and EPs. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? Cavite. What are you looking forward to, today? Mom bought shawarma so I can’t wait to eat them tonight. What are you looking forward to, in the next few months? For this Covid mess to finally blow over so I can have an actual, tangible graduation and see all my friends again. Are you a dog or a cat person? Dog. Without. A. Doubt. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? Me. They never liked me no matter how nice I am with them, so I can never be around one for more than a minute. There’s only one cat that’s been nice to me – one of the cats that roam around the college, we call him Ginger – but even then, sometimes his claws can get super sharp when we play and it pierces my skin and I get scared, ahuhu. I’m sure cats are super nice and that they make for great pets, but we just can’t ever bond lol. Do you know any with Crohn's disease? No.

[cuethetommo]

People were up in arms when Gemma said it too. In fact there are people who still don’t like her because of the things she said (even though I think she had a right to snap when she did). I don’t think it’s really a need to be validated, but more a need as an entire group to not be called insane and delusional by the media and their families when not all of us are like that.

Oh, don’t worry, I remember how people reacted when Gemma did it too. 

First, in this case it makes me super uncomfortable to follow the underage kids, so I don’t (personally).

Second, I truly don’t understand what drives people to go to the siblings/family/friends for answers. They’re not going to out their brother/friend/son because someone on the internet asked a question or made a comment. 

I hear you that it doesn’t feel like a need to be validated, and I won’t speak for everyone, but I see a fair amount of validation searching happening. And I get not wanting to be called delusional by the media or the families. But, this is a part of the society we currently live in. Mind you, I know there is a tension around recognizing something is bigger than us and also trying to change it. But whatever your theory of social change is, I doubt it involves badgering 15-year-olds on Instagram.

Here’s where I get into theory. I would imagine that maintaining a closet for 9 years in the way that these boys have takes a fair amount of work. Although I think it takes less work than it maybe used to, I’m not sure about that. So, imagine that the boys want to minimize the amount they’re out and out lying to fans. Which in 9 years we’ve gotten what? Like 2 Larry denials from Harry or Louis themselves (and I don’t believe ever Harry)? Someone can come correct me on that (although I’m sure they will). So, Jay has Eleanor in her wedding, Lottie is seen with Freddie, Gemma says Larries are crazy, Phoebe says Larries are crazy. To me, it’s just all blocking and tackling (that’s an American Football reference, sorry rest of the world, it basically means taking hits for someone else). Do I know this is true? Of course not. But it’s a theory all the same.

Could Phoebe have ignored it? Sure. But we don’t know the reasons for things other than her brother is still closeted and she’s not going to out him. 

[gooddadstan]

Fuzzy Walls and Tired Eyes ch 4

Jason had been stabbed. Admittedly, not his best moment, but in this kind of life there’s only so long you can go without some kind of injury, especially when you’re not one of the lucky ducks to have been gifted with superpowers. So yeah, he’s been stabbed, and he’s now sitting in the medbay on Alfred-enforced bedrest. And it was eating him inside. It was just one stab wound, and if he wasn’t planning on doing the flips that Dick always insisted helped him fight, he’d be just fine. The Joker was still out there, and he’s stuck here recovering from a singular stab wound. It’s useless and a waste of time.

At least he had someone’s company, he guesses, even if that person was unconscious like they had been for the past two days. Alfred said he’d woken up a few hours ago, but then went back under the sedative they’d later taken away. In theory he’d be waking up more permanently soon, which was good because Tim had been one of his favored conversationalists once he came back to the manor more commonly. But now he might even go for Bruce to talk to, and if that wasn’t an indication that he was bored out of his mind he didn’t know what was. His phone had died, he didn’t have a charger, there were no books in the cave, and Alfred would be disappointed in him if he got up to get anything himself. Dick was over at the Batcomputer typing up his report, so he wouldn’t be able to jibe at him from this distance, and everyone else was either upstairs asleep or still out searching for the Joker, so he’d have to take what company he could get, even if it was from an unconscious seventeen year old.

Looking at the steady rise and fall of Tim’s chest, for lack of anything better to do, Jason saw the bandages scattered around his form and in the trash can behind the bed, the old ones red with blood while the new ones were only barely paler than his brothers skin. His face was red and irritated from the oxygen mask that had been there until recently, and his arm and leg sitting in hard casts. All in all, Jason deemed, he looked like shit. Too pale, too skinny, too exhausted even with his multi-day nap if the bruising under his eyes had anything to say about it. Watching the kid in front of him, one that he’d legitimately tried to kill and then slowly began to see as a brother, he felt… terrible. And for a second he couldn’t place why. The crushing sensation of guilt in his stomach wasn’t a foreign one, nor was it uncommon these days. It was the way that the complete override of guilt to his systems mixed with fondness for his brothers and knowledge that there was a very real possibility that this was his fault no matter the fact that he was nowhere near the scene that did him in. No matter the fact that all he did was answer a question, this time he had something to do with it at minimum, if not bordering on everything to do with it.

He couldn’t help the hitch in his breath. It fought through his throat no matter how hard he tried to push it down, how hard he tried to make it stop, and yet still it shocked his ears by breaking through. There were still people in the cave and he couldn’t leave, he couldn’t do this now. Closing his eyes and focusing in on the sound of Tim’s small sleepy muttering, he tried to bring his breathing back. Most of it is incoherent, but every few sentences you can catch a phrase about shag carpeting on the walls or shapeshifters. He seemed mostly unbothered by it, but was apparently planning on developing technology to make the walls shapeshift? Whatever he was doing inside his mind, the words kept Jason grounded. His breathing evened out again, and when he was comfortable enough to open his eyes again he found Dick standing at the entryway. Damnit.

“Jay? Are you okay?” His eyebrows furrowed in concern, quickly moving from the doorway to the space between Jason and Tim.

“‘M fine, Dickwad, go back to hovering over Timmy instead of interrogating me.” He squared his shoulders and leaned back, only for Dick to grab a light off the table and snatch Jason’s face with his other hand.

Shining the light in Jason’s eyes to check for a concussion and finding nothing, the small frown on his face deepened as he let go of Jason and the light. “What’s wrong, why were you acting like that?” It was phrased as a question, but his time as Batman had managed to leave him with an order in the tone, saying that as much as he phrased it as a simple question, not answering wasn’t an option.

Jason, however, didn’t react well to those kinds of things before and reacted even worse now. “I was acting like a normal person, Dickhead, now leave me alone.” He moved to get up and leave, screw the warnings and Alfred’s inevitable disappointment, but Dick held him down with a hand on his shoulder.

“Jay, that’s not how a normal person acts and it’s not how you act, either. What happened?” The order in his tone melted away, leaving only concern as he looked his brother in the eyes.

“It’s normal for people who just realized they’re the reason their brother is almost dead, so fuck off.” He shrugged off Dick’s hand pointedly as the words came forth almost entirely unconsciously, only to freeze as they registered in his mind. Immediately, panic surged through his body as he flung himself backwards and reached for a weapon. “Fuck.” All he had was a couple of smaller knives at this point, and Dick still had those electric escrima sticks, fuck, he didn’t want to fight his brother.

Dick’s expression darkened into something Jason refused to identify the feelings in, hands betraying his wish to grab his escrima sticks with a telltale twitch. “Jay,” This time, his tone was warning. “What did you do.” He wasn’t getting a weapon yet, which was good, but he was moving closer slowly, which was decidedly very bad.

On instinct Jason’s body moved into a defensive position, knives in his hands as he crouched into the corner. “I didn’t do shit, Dick, it was a week ago. All I did was answer a question.” He could feel his heartbeat pound through his entire body, yelling at him to move, to attack, to defend himself. League training flit through his brain, telling him different ways to kill the man in front of him. His brother, that he didn’t want to kill. His brother that he didn’t want to fight. His brother that he wasn’t going to fight.

Dick’s nearly silent footsteps felt like bombs going off in his ears, his tone more warning than before if it was even possible. “Whose question.” An order, no question about it. Dick was pissed. Fuck, there was no salvaging this, he’d have to get his bike, he wouldn’t have time to even grab a mask, he needed to be out of there by the time Dick made it to where Jason was crouched. He needed to be out of Gotham by the time Dick made it out of the hangar. He needed to be gone, and he needed to be gone a week ago. “Jason, whose question did you answer.”

Jason’s position shifts into one optimized for sprinting at the drop of a hat, disguised as the uncomfortable movements people who don’t want to answer questions default to. Despite that, his words come out rushed and urgent, almost pleading. Damn his voice without the modulators. “His question, Tim’s question. I didn’t touch him, I swear.”

The darkness in Dick’s face dropped down, concern and confusion replacing it quickly. “What did he ask?” He kept walking forward, and Jason’s instincts screamed at him to run with everything they had.

“I- It doesn’t matter, back off.” His blades become more apparent, more threatening, and Dick opens his mouth to object only to be cut off. “I said back off!”

There was panic in his voice, that time, pure and unbridled in a way that reminded him of the pit, shame churning in his gut at the fact that he couldn’t keep it deep in his stomach without the help of his vocal modulators. It made Dick practically flinch away from Jason, taking several steps back until he was just barely in front of Tim. Slowly, Jason rose from his deep crouch and let his hands fall to his sides. He took deep breaths with closed eyes, training from the All Caste letting his heart rate fall.

“Jay, you need to tell me what he asked.” Jason’s eyes open slowly, his breathing long and deliberate. He hides his knives back in their hiding spots, looked vaguely in Dick’s direction, and shrugged before putting his hands in his pockets only to frown at the pain it caused. Damn stab wound. Pulling his hands out of his pockets again, he forced the tension away from his shoulders and took steps towards the door, only to be stopped by Dick again halfway there. “Little Wing, your hand has blood on it, you must’ve broken the stitches. Let’s take care of that, and you can explain what he asked.”

Slowly, he was led back to the bed he had been on earlier, and sat still as the wound in his side was exposed. After what felt like way too long of Dick taking off the bandages, and starting to clean off the blood and remnants of the first stitches, he found himself uncomfortable with the silence. He didn’t want to admit any further involvement, because this was his fault in some fucked up indirect way and the Bats’d see that and be pissed about it, but if they could do good with the information and help Tim after he woke up, then would it be worth it?

It was only Dick in the batcave, after all, and if necessary he could lightly stab his brother and get the hell out of the Bats business forever. That would get him away with minimal injury. Yeah, that works. So he’ll tell Dick, then book it. “It was a week ago at this point,” He hated the way his tone was nothing but tired and distant. “And I had been in one of my safehouses after patrol when Timbo came through my window. He sat at my table, I gave him a coffee and I drank my tea and it had been quiet. He started staring at me with this curious look in his eye, like he was going to ask a question, so I just told him to spill it already. And then...” His voice broke, and he wished for nothing more than to either be nowhere near here or have his helmet on. “Dick, he asked me what it was like to die.” A second of pause as he shook his head. “He asked me what it was like to die and I kinda looked at him for a second because what the hell was he talkin’ about, but I told him. I told him what my death felt like.” There were a few moments, where the sting of the gauze was pulled away from his flesh, where the only sounds were the small breathing of the first two Robins and the tiny whimpering of the third, that pulled at Jason’s heart. “I said it hurt, excruciating and was completely a shitty time. Then it just… stopped. The pain, the world around me, everything. It was just empty, calm, and there was a feeling of safety that I’ve never felt while alive. It was… amazing.”

There wasn’t any hesitation before Dick’s eyes met his, worry and shock painfully clear in them. “Dick, he did this because he thought it’d be okay. He did it because he was okay with dying, and that’s my fault.” He swallowed once, twice, trying to get rid of the feeling that there’s a golf ball in his throat, and didn’t look Dick in the eyes again. He couldn’t see the reaction. He couldn’t see the betrayal, the hatred, everything he swore would be there. He couldn’t handle it. So he stared down at the bloody gauze, over at Tim as long as he could (less than a second), and then down at his hands.

Silence sat in the room, only interrupted by the beeping machines and small breaths of the youngest. Slowly, Dick brought his hand to Jason’s forearm, making sure he could see it and conveying that there was no malicious intent. “Little wing, no. Tim has… Tim’s felt things like that for at least as long as we’ve known him, but it’s always been under control. This wasn’t on you.” He shook his brothers arm slowly, trying to be reassuring against the tears Jason didn’t notice he’d been crying. “We’re going to talk about it with him when he wakes up, alright? You, me, and him.”

Jason’s shoulders tensed at the prospect of still having to be at the cave. “No. You can talk to him. I’m going to be out searching for the Joker. I need to be.” He pushed Dick’s hand away, but stayed in place for the sake of the still unstitched gash in his side. “I need to be free to leave.” The swelling uncomfortability made everything inside of him scream for him to run even more, to screw the healing process and leave the pit remnants to deal with the aggravated wound. If it hadn’t been for Dick crouching right in front of him, he probably would have. But in the end he didn’t want to run right now, not when if would hurt or entirely ruin the tentative relationship with the Bats he’d managed to create. They were his brothers, his sisters and family. He loved them. So for now, he sat.

“Jay, we’re going to talk about this. You know if it’s just me he’ll dismiss it as undue henning, but with both of us he might actually listen. You need to be there. Please. He sees you as his brother but he’s scared that you don’t see him the same way, show him differently and he could help himself, or let us help him.” Though Jason wouldn’t look up to see it, there was pleading in his eyes.

Jason’s gaze seemed unfocused as they wander back up to Tim’s form. Too frail, too broken. Within the haze, he only sat silently as Dick finished redoing the stitches and covered the wound. He never responded, at least not for a while, but he sat.

He sat and he waited, past when Alfred brought him food, past when Dick finally gave up on a response and went upstairs, past when the others trickled in from patrol tired and bruised, past everything. This time, there would be someone with Tim when he opened his eyes again. He swore it.

[squaamataa-blog]

10 Superstar Diets THAT TRULY Work

It's that point of the entire year again...where summer body goals are completely swinging.

Though Hollywood's most popular celebs may have the best trainers and a head start all the latest crazy wellness trends months before we catch on, there are a few diets that are actually which can work.

Here we breakdown the very best 10 diet plan from supermodels and celebs including Kim Kardashian's Atkins Diet, and exactly how Lily Aldridge involves feel runway ready.

you may also like: https://celebrityinsider.org

The Clean Program

The queen of healthy living (she even penned a cookbook about any of it!) Gwyneth Paltrow has exposed that she detoxes "several times 12 months for three weeks at the same time." Hey, cleanse of preference? The Clean program, a 21-day cleanse produced by cardiologist Alejandro Junger.

This program eliminates a bunch of foods including gluten, dairy, eggs, sugars, alcohol, and different other allergy triggers, and requires you to make two meals in water form (think juices, smoothies or soups) each day.

Paleo

It had been the most googled diet of 2013 and once and for all reason - it is the eating viewpoint behind a few of Hollywood's sexiest bodies. Jessica Biel credits the new "caveman" diet pattern for her physique, stating "eating Paleo just leans you down and slims you up and requires that little coating of excess fat and water-weight quickly the body."

So what's on the menu? Paleo eaters sign up to a rigid diet that eliminates all grains, legumes, and dairy. "I do a great deal of cooking food at home using fresh seafood or lean meats like poultry and vegetables," says Biel.

22 Times Vegan

Beyonce and Jay-Z's 22-day vegan problem caused quite the press flurry (because of the superstar singer's Instagram articles throughout) and the results spoke for themselves when the trimmed-down duo showed off their svelte structures at the Grammy Honours.

This program is part of Marco Borges' 22 Days Nourishment challenge, which is on the business's website. "She is about health and fitness," her fitness expert distributed. "She just desires to feel great." The vocalist has since re-incorporated some pet products back to her diet, with Borges posting that she's "sticking with a mainly plant-based diet with some seafood occasionally."

Clean and Lean

Supermodel Lara Rock turned to fitness expert and nutritionist to the celebrities Wayne Duigan when she wished to get in form after the delivery of her first child in May. The results were so successful that the Dutch stunner even penned a foreword for his latest publication.

The Australian trainer - who's also the person behind the bodies of Elle Macpherson and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley - recommends fresh, unprocessed foods and is a low-carbohydrate diet. The diet begins with a 14-day kick-start composed of the protein-heavy meat, vegetables, and eggs. After fourteen days, fruits and minimal levels of dairy products are incorporated back to the diet.

Atkins

Thinking how Kim Kardashian shed her post-baby weight so quickly? Phoning it the "best problem" of her life, Kim lost around 25 kilos in 11 weeks before her wedding. Featuring a diet that mainly includes protein-rich foods high in healthy fats like avocado and nuts, as well as eggs, fresh vegetables and fruit, and cheese, while removing the consumption of carbs.

Additionally, it is advised for people to stop keeping track of calorie consumption - instead of ensuring you consume 3 regular sized foods and two snack foods every day.

Kardashian also enlisted the assistance of superstar trainer Tracy Anderson to keep her exercise in balance and reportedly had a chef accompany her on tour with Kanye Western to keep her foods carb-free.

Alkaline Diet

ex-Spice Girl, designer, and mom of four Victoria Beckham cite the alkaline diet as her approach to maintaining her incredibly svelte number. The diet attempts to keep carefully the body's pH level between 7.35 and 7.45 by eventually aiming the dieter to consume 80% alkaline (fruits, vegetables, nut products, and legumes - fennel, broccoli, grapefruit, and kale are the most alkaline) and 20% acidic (wheat and milk products, coffee, glucose, meat, fish and alcoholic beverages) foods.

Reportedly Beckham's daily food diet includes grilled fish, smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, yellowfin tuna, sushi salad, and blueberry smoothies, which effectively control aging because of the high omega 3 content. Those that keep an alkaline diet boast increased energy, improved memory, as well as preventing malignancy and cardiovascular disease.

Beckham is a fan, tweeting "love this healthy eating cookbook!", personally helping 'Honestly Healthy', compiled by Sienna Miller's stepsister Natasha Corrett.

The Ancient Grains Diet

To keep her energy up, Angelina Jolie ensures she regularly snack foods on and adds ancient grains such as quinoa, chia seeds, millet, buckwheat and spelled to her diet. The humanitarian and film celebrity statements provide her with the nutrition she can't find somewhere else, plus offers glowing, radiant shining and skin, healthier locks to show it.

Vegan meal delivery service

When in NY, Lily Aldridge subscribes to a natural, gluten-free and vegan meal delivery service to keep her diet in balance. Eat Fit Food offers a similar service in Australia - choose from a 5 day cleanse, a 10-day detox or a thirty day overall to recreate this Victoria's Key Angel's diet.

The Duchess of Cambridge

Created by People from France general practitioner Pierre Dukan, the Duchess of Cambridge and her mother reportedly continued this diet to be able to lose fat before the royal wedding. Credited by Dukan as the true reason French women can stay slim without avoiding wealthy goods or visiting the gym, the dietary plan is put into three stages that get less restrictive each week.

The first phase (attack) limits your intake to just foods saturated in protein for an interval of 2-7 times with respect to the desired weight reduction, before alternating between protein-heavy times and vegetables in phase two (cruise) , before entering the consolidation phase where you can reintroduce foods like bread, fruit, and cheese even.

5 Factor Diet

With one of the very most enviable numbers in Hollywood, Megan Fox looks to the 5 Factor Diet, produced by celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak. A five-week plan, the dietary plan entails eating five foods per day made out of five elements per food that have to include proteins, healthy fat, healthy carbs, fiber, and a sugar-free drink, one 'cheat day' is allowed were people can eat what they like.

"Megan and Brian [her spouse] eat effectively. They both make and love utilizing their blender," distributed Pasternak, "they love my smoothie quality recipes! Megan's favorite is the red smoothie, which is whatever berries are in season, Chai tea, a scoop of proteins powder and little almond dairy."

[gdwessel]

Wrestle Kingdom 13 - 1/4/2019; Ibushi Concussed; G1 Climax 29 Begins in Dallas, WK14 Will Be 2 Nights

Today is The Day. Wrestle Kingdom 13. You can watch it on NJPWWorld in Japanese or English. You can pay $35 on FITE TV for the same. You can wait until later tonight and watch a 2-hour version (continued the next 2 weeks) on AXS TV. Whatever the case, you can see it.

Wrestle Kingdom 13 - January 4, 2019, Tokyo Dome (NJPWWorld, FITE TV, AXS TV on tape delay)

NEVER Openweight  6-Man Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match: Togi Makabe, Toru Yano [CHAOS] & Ryusuke Taguchi d. Yuji Nagata, Jeff Cobb [FREE] & David Finlay Jr. and Hirooki Goto, Trent Beretta & Chuck Taylor [CHAOS] and Minoru Suzuki, Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. [SZKG] and Adam Page, Yujiro Takahashi & Marty Scurll [The Elite] Order of Eliminations - Finlay > Yujiro, Schoolboy, 4:39 - Finlay > Taylor, Schoolboy, 7:30 - KES > Finlay, Killer Bomb, 2:44 - Yano > Smith, Schoolboy, 8:09

NEVER Openweight Championship: Will Ospreay [CHAOS] d. Kota Ibushi [FREE] © (Stormbreaker, 18:13) - Ibushi fails his 1st defense - Ospreay is the 23rd champion

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship 3-Way Match: BUSHI & Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] d. Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado [SZKG] © and SHO & YOH [CHAOS] (Takagi > SHO, Last of the Dragon, 6:50) - Kanemaru/Desperado fail their 5th defense - BUSHI/Takagi are the 58th champions

RevPro Undisputed British Heavyweight Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. [SZKG] d. Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS] © (Hurrah! Another Year, Surely This One Will Be Better Than The Last; The Inexorable March Of Progress Will Lead Us All To Happiness, 11:53) - Ishii fails his ? defense - Sabre is the 21st champion

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship 3-Way Match:  EVIL & SANADA [Los Ingobernables] d. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa [Bullet Club] © and Matt & Nick Jackson [The Elite] (SANADA > Matt, Rounding Body Press, 10:15) - GOD fail their 1st defense - EVIL/SANADA are the 82nd champions

IWGP US Heavyweight Championship: Juice Robinson d. Cody Rhodes [The Elite] © (Pulp Friction, 9:02) - Cody fails his 1st defense - Juice is the 5th champion

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club] d. KUSHIDA ©  (Bloody Cross, 11:17) - KUSHIDA fails his 1st defense - Ishimori is the 83rd champion

Jay White [Bullet Club] d. Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS] (Blade Runner, 14:18)

IWGP Intercontinental Championship No-DQ Match: Tetsuya Naito [Los Ingobernables] d. Chris Jericho [FREE] © (Destino, 22:35) - Jericho fails his 2nd defense - Naito is the 20th champion

IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Hiroshi Tanahashi d. Kenny Omega [The Elite] © (High Fly Flow, 39:13) - Omega fails his 4th defense - Tanahashi is the 67th champion

Hoo boy, a lot to break down here.

Every single title changed hands during this show, including the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. The last time that belt changed hands at a January 4 Tokyo Dome show was Wrestle Kingdom V on 1/4/2011, by, how about that, Hiroshi Tanahashi, beating Satoshi Kojima. Eight years since then, including last year's controversial retaining by Kazuchika Okada over Tetsuya Naito that some people are still salty about. So, essentially, the entire Bushiroad era. The (frankly piss-poor) reign of Kenny Omega as IWGP champion is at an end, and the rest of the Elite (including Kota Ibushi) are title-less as well. So let the speculation about Omega and All Elite Wrestling begin in full force. It will be interesting to see which direction he goes in either way. For his part, Tanahashi is now an 8-time IWGP Heavyweight Champion, cementing himself with the record number of reigns. (The next closest is Tatsumi Fujinami at 6.)

Los Ingobernables all hold titles now as well, barring Hiromu, of course, being out injured and all. CHAOS holds one title, as does Bullet Club, who lost one and gained one. The Seikigun hold two, after Tanahashi and Juice won their matches, however lost one with KUSHIDA.

Tetsuya Naito regains the title he hates over Jericho in a brutal brawl, taking full advantage of the No-DQ stipulation,and with it, begins his redemption story, having to come to terms with the IC belt to finally truly move beyond it. Really interested in seeing how his 2019 will go.

Jay White winning over Okada is interesting. It redeems White for having a poor re-debut at WK12 last year, and sets up a continuing feud with the two. Kazuchika Okada having his redemption arc is going to be a major part of 2019 creatively, I think, as will Naito as stated above, and eventually the two will collide. Okada does not take a hit here. It only sets him up to be stronger in the end. And hey, the Longboys are gone, so we have the Rainmaker back!

Shock of shocks, neither of the three-way tag matches ended with the reigning champions being pinned. The junior tag match was REAL short. (So were many of the matches today) Three-ways are stupid and are there to a) not make the champions do the job b) cover up for a bloated roster. Perhaps with the Elite moving away from NJPW this will be minimized in future. But let's face it, now we'll get rematches with the previous champions v. the current ones coming up real soon.

Juice regains the US belt, and writes Cody Rhodes out of NJPW. Trent Beretta challenged Juice post-show. That'll be good. Hopefully they can do right by Juice this time. They made him look like an absolute star at G1 Special in San Francisco, and then proceeded to squander and ruin that the rest of 2018. ZSJ regaining the RevPro title is about what I expected. Now he can take the belt home to England. Yes, that is the na.me of that finisher

That... was a nasty looking elbow Kota took. Ibushi has been reported as being concussed, and that stretcher job was legit. NJPW says the concussion is not severe. Will Ospreay is trying to be in characer gloating about it, because he is a dipshit. Who knows what Ibushi's future is in this AEW era. He's been a freelancer this entire time, so if he too were to leave NJPW (again) so be it. I really think he has the potential to be a drawing IWGP champion, but that's up to him. He did decline a WWE contract after all (as did Sabre). His is the bigger question mark looming than Omega's, if I'm honest.

The mixed Seikigun/CHAOS team of Makabe/Yano/Taguchi won the pre-show gauntlet match, so will most likely challenge for the NEVER Openweight Comedy 6-Man Tag Team titles tomorrow at New Year Dash!!. Yuji Nagata filled in for the injured *spits* Michael Elgin, and made the match actually watchable now, because fuck Michael Elgin. The Most Violent Players still being a thing makes me think there really is going to be a unit shakeup coming soon. We already saw it with Jay White and Gedo earlier in 2018, and the continued CHAOS/Seikigun teamups point that way too.

All in all, a really good show that was weak on paper but in practice did really well. The attendance was announced as 38,162, up from 34,995 for last year's, but not as much of a jump (Nearly +10K last year from WK11). It's also the highest attendance listed since Bushiroad started using actual numbers rather than papered, which was 36,000 in 2015 for WK9. So as critical as I've been of Kenny Omega as champion, using the Meltzer Standard for attendance, it looks like Kenny was, in fact, a decent draw as champion, even if creative and match quality was the shits. Online, it seems that there were some issues during the show on NJPWWorld, for which apologies have been doled out.

The attendance is an interesting issue. Bushiroad owner Takaaki Kidani has said for years that he wanted Wrestle Kingdom 14 to be the sell-out show at the Dome, as it falls on a Saturday...

As part of today's show, upcoming big events were announced for the coming year, and the biggest one of these was the announcement that WK14 will be, in fact, a 2-day event, on 1/4 and 1/5/2020, both Saturday and Sunday. Not sure how that is going to work out for selling out the Dome in 2020. In fact it might dilute the attendance by splitting it. It's an interesting conundrum, and we'll see if NJPW has the momentum to sell out just one, if not both, of those dates this time next year.

Other major show dates were announced, some we already knew (if you look at the Upcoming NJPW Events post from 2 days ago). There is a mega-card announced for 4/20/2019 at Aichi Prefectural Gymnasium, without a name given, but no word on Sakura Genesis, so I'm wondering if there will even be one this year. Wrestling Dontaku 2019 is a two-day event in Fukuoka, much like last year's edition.

This year's Best of the Super Juniors 26 Final will be held on 6/5/2019 at Tokyo Ryogoku Kokugikan, which is great, finally giving the Final the prestige it deserves with such a massive venue to hold it in. A mere 4 days later, we go back to Osaka-Jo Hall for Dominion 6.9 in Osaka-Jo Hall on, oddly enough, 6/9/2019.

G1 Climax 29 will begin and end in interesting fashion. This year's tournament will actually begin in the USA, on 7/6/2019 at the American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX, making this the only time G1 Climax matches have been held outside of Japan. As for the ending, following the success of last year's Finals at Tokyo Nippon Budokan, which was due to necessity of renovations happening at Ryogoku, they are going back this year from 8/10 - 8/12/2019 for this year's G1 Finals as well.

The last one to be announced is a solo date in London, on 8/31/2019 at The Copper Box, located in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, Hackney Wick. This is the place where feuding YouTubers Joe Weller and KSI held a boxing match. I am sure there will be RevPro involvement in this show.

That's it. That's all I got. New Year Dash!! is tomorrow but they never announce the card for it ahead of time. Hope everyone enjoyed WK13, and we start a good year in New Japan Pro Wrestling.

[valentinebrux]

Two Headshots for Two Cranes.

lucky renter

I just moved here a couple of months ago and it was right out the blue. Someone or something was calling me to this place and I said “ok, enough. I get it. If I see one more Palm Tree it’s gonna have the be the real thing.” so I literally almost vomited all of the shit out of my apartment, curbed it, whatever, gave it to friends and then all I had was me, my car and my camera that I was still paying off.

Once I got here I felt peace for the first time in twelve years. I could stretch out my arms in public and I wouldn’t hit a single person. I could even do it in the grocery story, Publix, and I still wouldn’t hit anyone.

I didn’t think you could love a place until now. I don’t have to talk to my neighbors. I don’t have to do anything involving neighbors. I went from renting a one bedroom in a stuffy city to renting an entire house for the same price from this guy who wanted to trade places. He’s the sucker in this situation. He even left his car behind, which he said I could use in case of emergency, until I get my own.

The place is situated on one of three man-made lakes in the community. Three lakes. They should have called it that, but instead they named it Valencia Shores II. I still haven’t found the first one, but boy am I grateful to Valencia. Our neighborhood has a gym, a small nature preserve, two parks and three pools of varying sizes.

All of this for a rental? Again, I’m sorry but you don’t even know how impossible that sounds to me. I went from paying $1,200 a month. Boy America’s a freak. Money is a freak too! But I am the luckiest freak of all.

There are these huge cranes that live in the lake too, along with various other birds I’ve never seen before. Even the ducks are tropical. Tropical Ducks. That’s the Mighty Ducks movie that forgot to make, that’s for sure.  I like to sit out in the screened patio smoking a jay and drinking some white wine. There’s a market next to my place that sells white wine for two dollars a bottle and like I said, never been this peaceful in twelve years.

I feel like the lord above guided me to this sweet spot and after all I’ve been through I know I deserve it. Even now I’m going through something.

You see, I was so excited about all of this space, all of these places to go to be alone, that the first time a neighbor actually did say hi to me, I tried to say goodbye so quickly that I fell backward over the step in the garage and broke my foot. I know you’re thinking, how the hell did you break your foot doing nothing? Well I really really wanted to get away. That’s what this is suppsoed to be for me, a relapse from the faces peering in on me. It’s not that I’m unfriendly, I was just trying to get in some one on one time you see? I was daydreaming so hard that my new neighbor startled me into a panic.

The night before I was sound asleep and I guess some guy or gal drunk as a hefer came tearing down the street with a vengence for the U.S Postal Service and they gave all of the mailboxes a good wacking to. My neighbor’s mailbox was connected to my mailbox like two siamese twins and ours deinitely got the worst of it. They were looking more like one mailbox than two. But I didn;t notice this in the nighttime, and I didn’t even notice it in the day time, since I had yet to forward anyone my address or to be honest, I hadn’t even told my family where I was.

I was just into this zone. I was daydreaming about trees. Just picturing them in my minds eye. Their leaves would come in and out like silhouettes from the darkness and all I could hear were the birds chirping and the distant sound of smooth traffic. I was in bliss and my neighbor just didn’t understand or know or maybe even care. He came up into the garage where I was sitting on a red and white fold out chair and said “you gonna get yours fixed?”

“My what fixed?”

You see I am a bit anxious and I knew right then and there, or I thought right then and there that he meant my brain. Was I going to get my brain fixed?

“Looks like somebody took a bat to that thing”

My brain? My face?

He must have been talking about my face. I am, to be perfectly frank, not a beautiful woman. I wouldn’t call myself a beautiful girl either. Maybe inside if you looked at the trees I saw but on the outside...

“You gonna get yours replaced?”

I opened my eyes and looked at him as if he had just insulted me because honestly to me he had insulted me deeply.

But then I looked up for real, and after the shock of seeing a large man towering over my in my own garage I realized what he was talking about.

“I’m just renting but I can tell my landlord. Maybe but he might think it was my fault”

We enhanced introductions and he said he was sorry to startle me and I said that’s OK and that maybe we would see each other again soon. He laughed and said “we’re neighbors now lady, of course we will” and I prayed that not be true.

Then I looked down and felt embarrassed that I was wearing crew cut socks with a puppy jumping on a woman doing yoga under my three inch platforms shoes.

I waited for him to turn around and clear the garage. Then, under the pressure of feeling extreme startling surprise I darted to the button to close the automatic garage.

But, being completely new to this home of mine, I didn’t realize there was an entire extra level of cement between myself and safety. So when I lunged, I just rushed my feet straight into ledge. The platform shoe spun around my foot like some sort of choker and pushed up against the cement in such a way that it shattered my entire right pinky toe. 

I let out this terrible yelp while the garage was half way down and my neighbor stopped the door and lifted the entire this back up with one hand like it was nothing. 

He ended up rushing me to the hospital. On the way I found out he is actually a very nice man and his name really is Steven.

snapshot for sale.

Being in a new place all alone with a broken foot is one of the most unfun, unpleasureable things you can do.

Crutches are good for someone who has a lot of friends. They’re good for someone who has money to eat out or better yet money for take out. But they’re not good for me who didn’t have a job or any cooking utensils in her kitchen.

You see, I moved here and had paid about two months rent with the intention of getting a job in that time before the third month. I knew it was risky but I also knew that if I stayed in the city I’d explode on some poor person on the train on the way to work and then I would feel even more bad.

So I quit my entire job cold turkey.

The doctor told me it would take about two months for my foot to heal and that I was lucky to be young because if I’d done this five years from now, it would have been a doozy. She said doozy, not me.

So I could basically nurse myself back to health before I was out on the street. The streets in my new neighborhood didn’t seem quite to terrible to be honest. I thought about trying to live in the community club house or just setting up camp near the pool at the far edge of the neighborhood that no one seemed to use much, but the reality was I would still need to eat and use the internet.

There was a starbucks within walking distance which was nice, but I couldn’t walk.

So I thought about jobs that were minimal and then I remembered that I still had that camera that I was supposed to be paying off.

It took a while for me to think about what kind of job I could do with a camera now that I was in Palm Beach. Were there advertising agencies in Palm Beach? Maybe, but I didn’t really have a portfolio. I was amateur at best but I knew i had a flare for seeing the magic in the lens.

I asked Steven about jobs and he told me that he was a real estate agent. I said “I don’t think I’d make a very good agent” and he said “But I bet you could photograph them”